Mastering Rest: The Art of Truly Capable Individuals

After toiling for more than 300+ days, as the year draws to a close, fatigue fills the bodies and eyes of every worker.

In the past year, many have experienced this: When work becomes challenging, the more you rush to finish quickly, the more mistakes you make. When temporarily unable to find solutions, the more anxious and panicked you become, the more counterproductive it is, resulting in chaos.

With the rapid development of the times and increasing competition around us, we dare not stop.

Humans are like rubber bands—the tighter they are stretched, the easier they break. Those who know how to rest also know how to work; resting is the first step to improving work efficiency.

As the end of the year approaches, giving yourself time to breathe after a year of hard work enables you to handle things efficiently and orderly, and life and work will progress and develop as you wish.

More important than working hard is knowing how to rest.

Henry Ford, the automotive tycoon, once said: "People who only know how to work without knowing how to rest are like cars without brakes—extremely dangerous." Indeed, a person, like a machine, if relentlessly pursuing efficiency without understanding the need to stop and rest, will only backfire.

I recalled a story my friend shared with me before. One school vacation, she and another girl, both graduate students from top universities, interned at a bank. To secure a permanent position, my friend worked tirelessly, barely leaving her seat except for meals and restroom breaks, often working overtime until midnight.

The other girl, however, left punctually at the end of each workday, sometimes slipping out during office hours under the pretext of getting water. During lunch breaks, she wouldn't return until it was time to work. Surprisingly, after the internship, the supervisors decided to keep the other girl.

When my friend later chatted with her, she understood: every time the girl slipped out, she sensed her concentration declining. To maintain efficiency, she took short breaks to relax and refresh her mind. This balanced work rhythm made her more efficient, composed, and allowed her to carve out more leisure time for self-improvement.

Often, working hard is not a display of ability; knowing how to rest is.

Frederick Taylor, the father of scientific management in the 20th century, took over an ironworks factory and, to improve efficiency, made three requests to the workers:

1. Mandatory 5-minute breaks every hour, even if they didn't feel tired;

2. Reduce the daily working hours from 10 or 12 to 8.5 hours;

3. Ensure everyone is focused and efficient at work.

These seemingly simple requirements miraculously improved worker efficiency. Previously, workers could handle about 12 tons of iron per day on average, but under his management, they could handle about 48 tons per day without feeling fatigued.

"Resting" is as essential to "working efficiently" as a charger is to a phone—indispensable.

To work efficiently, one must first learn to rest efficiently. The most admirable quality of truly capable individuals is not their diligence at work but their "laziness" when resting. Progress is a capability, but pausing is wisdom. Every break charges the body.

You need to prepare for Monday. To do this, use the weekend to rejuvenate yourself rather than ending up exhausted. In the past year, perhaps you've had experiences like this: to finish remaining work from weekdays, you canceled all plans over the weekend.

When Monday came, although you completed the work, the quality was poor, and you felt exceptionally tired. Because you didn't rest well over the weekend, your work efficiency for the new week was low. By Friday, if the work wasn't finished, you'd enter a cycle of exhaustion.

True high-quality rest is never a waste of time but a period of recharging for the body and mind. When a writer faces writer's block, the more they force themselves to write well, the more difficult it becomes. Yet, they refuse to set it aside. So, they write with increasing frustration and decreasing quality.

Whenever they realize their state isn't good, they immediately leave their work and take a walk in the countryside to relax. Returning to their writing desk, they feel rejuvenated, and tasks they once thought impossible become effortless.

This experience taught them that, not only in writing but in anything one wants to excel in, ensuring one is mentally fresh at the beginning is crucial. To them, the smarter a person is, the more they understand the need to rest.

The body is the capital for survival, and resting is the prelude to sprinting. In fact, scientists have found that the brain is as active during rest as it is during work. When resting, some areas of the brain may even be more active, and the level of connectivity between some areas is higher, indicating stronger cognitive abilities.

Conversely, the more one struggles to think when lacking ideas, the more counterproductive it becomes. Our bodies, minds, and brains are like rubber bands—the tighter you stretch them, the more likely they are to break. When work becomes directionless, it's better to set it aside, giving the brain a buffer period, which may lead to new discoveries.

Rest is not a singular activity but a synonym for achieving a better state.

Learning to rest is not only giving the tired brain a period of recharge but also giving a busy life a buffering period. Learning to recharge enables efficient release of energy; learning to buffer maintains a positive mindset at all times. Treating oneself well starts with learning to rest.

Rest is not doing nothing; it's actually compensating for certain losses in the body.

Sometimes, life seems short, and time seems scarce, so we rush headlong, but this only leads to loss. Only when one learns high-quality rest can they take care of their body and gain irreplaceable wealth and capital. So, how does one become someone who knows how to rest?

Start with the following:

1. Stick to an early bedtime to rejuvenate your spirit. Late nights have become a habit for modern people. But early bedtime is a common trait of those who know how to rest. Going to bed at a reasonable time is the first step in ensuring sleep quality and the first step in learning to rest. Early sleep and rest allow life and body to gradually enter a proper state, not only beneficial for physical and mental health but also for better immersion in life and work.

2. Cultivate a hobby to awaken your passion for life. Hobbies are like seasoning in life. When you feel tired, they can quickly replenish your energy; when you encounter difficulties, they can help you temporarily escape. In the face of a fast-paced life, some people enjoy gardening, some enjoy reading, some enjoy sports... Find something that allows you to completely relax and immerse yourself.

3. Alternate work to give the brain a break. After observing the working habits of many celebrities, I found that they always work for a period of time before doing something else. Although it may seem less focused, it's actually a form of rest.

Psychologists have found that the brain can only maintain a high level of concentration for about 53 minutes. So, to ensure work efficiency, give your brain a relaxation buffer time.

For example: work for an hour, then take a break; or after completing a segment of work, switch to another task to give your brain a change of pace and relax. Learning to "distract" appropriately is the key to true efficiency.

The longer you walk without resting, the slower you walk. Many accomplished individuals spend what seems like effortful but inefficient time resting. Mindlessly rushing forward is less effective than slowing down to admire the scenery along the way; ineffective work is less beneficial than high-quality rest, giving your body and mind a "cleansing" treatment.

Read Also:

Ghosted: The Ultimate Adult Rejection

Listen: Podcast

Why the Most Comfortable People Are Often a Little Selfish

"Being soft-hearted and shy will only kill yourself. Rational indifference and coldness are survival tools."

At first, this may sound somewhat cold-hearted, but upon deeper reflection, it actually makes a lot of sense. People tend to prioritize others' feelings over their own in many situations. This could be due to a tendency to please others, accommodate their needs, or avoid conflict. But by doing so, they end up neglecting their own emotional health and well-being.

The Issue of Prioritizing Others Over Yourself:

The common human tendency to put others first, which, although often seen as a virtue, can be self-destructive if taken too far. For example, the passage illustrates how some people will go out of their way to help others, even at the cost of their own comfort or desires. One example is the story of a self-proclaimed "easy-to-please" person, someone who constantly accommodates friends and coworkers even when they’re exhausted, only to find that their own needs are unmet. This behavior can lead to emotional exhaustion and even health problems, as seen in the case of a woman who, after years of pushing her own needs aside, developed a health issue linked to emotional suppression.

Learning to Say "No" and Set Boundaries:

It is okay—sometimes necessary—to put yourself first. It tells the story of a woman named Jane, a social media influencer who used to be overly accommodating to others. She would work through exhaustion, help friends even when she was too tired, and sacrifice her own rest to meet others’ demands. However, after a health scare and receiving advice from her doctor, Xiao Xiao began to make changes. She started saying "no" to things she didn’t want to do, even when it was uncomfortable. Surprisingly, she found that by not overextending herself, her life became lighter, and her health improved.

This story highlights the importance of setting boundaries in order to preserve one’s mental and physical well-being. Saying "no" can be difficult, especially when people fear disappointing others, but it can ultimately lead to a healthier, more balanced life.

The Dangers of People-Pleasing:

A key insight comes from a popular online discussion about why people feel increasingly tired and unhappy. The most upvoted response points out that the main reason people feel this way is because they spend too much energy trying to meet others’ expectations while neglecting their own. This often results in a lack of fulfillment and a sense of emotional depletion.

The passage asserts that we frequently misprioritize in social interactions: we give too much importance to how others feel and ignore our own emotional needs. This imbalance can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout. In fact, people’s emotions, while important, should never outweigh our own. The suggestion is to practice a healthy level of "selfishness"—to prioritize your own emotional needs, even when it means disappointing others.

Selfishness as a Tool for Healthy Relationships:

 “Selfishness” can be a form of self-preservation. It doesn’t mean disregarding others entirely, but rather ensuring that your own needs are met first. You can still be kind, helpful, and generous, but you must never allow others to take more from you than you are willing to give. The key is to maintain your own emotional health and not overextend yourself for people who might not appreciate your sacrifices. In doing so, you ensure that your relationships remain healthy and mutually supportive.

The Importance of Knowing When to Step Back:

The passage includes an example from a TV show, where a character, B, tries to "rescue" her friend W by offering career advice, even though W is perfectly content with her current job as a taxi driver. Despite her friend’s resistance, B continues to push her own idea of what is best for W. This behavior reflects the “savior complex,” where one person tries to impose their beliefs or solutions on another, even when it’s not wanted. This kind of behavior can be damaging and lead to conflict, as seen in the show when the two characters fall out after a heated argument.

The advice here is to respect others' choices and not impose your own standards onto them, even if you believe you are helping. Not everyone wants or needs your advice or assistance, and sometimes, your actions can feel intrusive or overbearing.

The Energy Exchange in Relationships:

Relationships are an exchange of energy. People bring different levels of energy to interactions, and for relationships to thrive, both parties need to contribute positively. If a relationship consistently drains you, it may be time to reevaluate it. For instance, there is a story of a woman who distanced herself from a negative, pessimistic friend in order to preserve her own mental health and well-being. By cutting ties with this draining relationship, she found space for more positive, supportive friendships that helped her grow.

Conclusion:

The overall message is clear: prioritize your own well-being, set boundaries, and don't be afraid to be a little selfish when it comes to your emotional health. This doesn’t mean being unkind, but it does mean understanding that your needs are just as important as anyone else's. Taking care of yourself first is the key to leading a balanced, fulfilling life. Life is short, and there’s no need to sacrifice your own peace for the sake of others who may not appreciate your efforts. By practicing self-care and setting boundaries, you can build more meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships.

Read Also:

Things I learnt from the past 10 years of work

The Hidden Trap of Over-Responsibility: Why It Drains You

In today's fast-paced world, it’s common to encounter individuals who overburden themselves with responsibilities at work and in life. They are the ones who:

• When their family members tell them it’s late and they should rest, they respond with, “I can’t rest yet, I need to double-check the report for tomorrow’s meeting. It has to be perfect, I can't afford to make any mistakes.”
• When their colleagues invite them for lunch, they reply, “You go ahead, I need to prepare some documents for the boss’s meeting this afternoon. It has to be perfect.”

These people are often valued highly in their professional environments. Everyone likes to work with responsible colleagues. They are loyal, dependable, and hardworking. However, there's a downside to this excessive sense of responsibility: it can easily lead to self-criticism, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

Excessive Responsibility in the Workplace

While responsibility is a highly regarded trait, too much of it can have negative consequences. The key to thriving in a workplace is not simply taking on every task or burden that comes your way, but knowing when to delegate and when to set boundaries. The most successful professionals understand how to strike a balance. They manage their responsibilities in such a way that they are still efficient without exhausting themselves or losing their personal lives.

There’s a saying that perfectly sums up this concept: "Everything has limits. Once it exceeds those limits, punishment follows." This is not only a life philosophy but also a universal rule in nature. The moment we take on too much, especially in the workplace, we risk becoming overwhelmed and stressed out, which can have long-term consequences on our mental and physical health.

The Dangers of Over-Responsibility

When someone overburdens themselves with work, it often reflects a lack of clear boundaries. In the workplace, this can manifest in several ways: taking on more tasks than necessary, helping colleagues to the detriment of your own work, or continually going above and beyond with the belief that the only way to be valued is through constant over-performance. Over time, this person becomes the one carrying the weight of the office, often without even realizing how heavy the load is.

In the Japanese drama Weakest Beast, the character Shinkai Akira is a model employee who is so dependable that her boss assigns her more work than anyone else. She becomes the go-to person for everyone: organizing travel for her boss, handling administrative tasks, and even stepping in to solve problems when colleagues make mistakes. However, this overextension doesn’t lead to career advancement. Instead, it makes her seem increasingly indispensable, but her efforts are expected, not rewarded.

Her situation gets worse when she is tasked with taking on even more work that others are too unwilling or too busy to complete. Despite her hard work, her colleagues and boss start to take her for granted. At one point, she even has to publicly apologize on behalf of a colleague. In the end, she’s left exhausted and emotionally broken, leading to a nervous breakdown.

Why Over-Responsibility Leads to Burnout

Excessive responsibility creates a work environment where a person is constantly running on empty. They feel a need to overcompensate for any potential failure and take on more than they can handle. This feeling of obligation starts to consume them. They manage their emotions, meet deadlines, and perform well, but all at the expense of their mental and physical health. Over time, this behavior leads to burnout, where the person no longer has the energy to handle even their own responsibilities, let alone the additional burdens placed on them by others.

A question often asked is, "What happens to employees who are overly responsible?" One memorable answer to this question is: "They either explode in silence or perish in silence." This suggests that when someone constantly overextends themselves to fix other people's problems, they eventually run out of time and energy to care for themselves. Everyone has a finite amount of mental and physical capacity, and exceeding that limit leads to exhaustion, burnout, and resentment.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it's natural to want to help others, it's essential to learn how to prioritize self-care and personal boundaries. We can offer help to our colleagues and support others, but we must do so with the understanding that our own well-being must come first. If we continue to take on responsibilities that don’t belong to us, we risk losing ourselves in the process.

Over-responsibility is often rooted in fear of failure. Many people fear that if they don’t take on everything themselves, they will fail or disappoint others. However, constantly worrying about failure can create anxiety and tension that makes everything more difficult. Ironically, this can lead to poorer outcomes in the long run. Learning to delegate and trust others with responsibilities is crucial for both personal well-being and workplace efficiency.

Real-Life Examples of Over-Responsibility and Its Consequences

One story shared by a therapist highlights the experience of a client who was given an important task at work. This client was extremely anxious, fearing they would fail or disappoint their boss. As a result, they went above and beyond, trying to take on more of the task than they could handle. Another colleague, with less experience, accepted the task without hesitation. Throughout the project, this colleague sought guidance when needed and learned along the way. Eventually, the colleague completed the task to a higher standard, while the client’s excessive responsibility led to missed opportunities. The over-responsible person ended up sidelined, while the colleague who took a more balanced approach succeeded.

This example highlights the fact that over-responsibility can be a trap. People often believe that being overly responsible will earn them praise and career advancement, but the opposite is often true. Over-time, the excess burden becomes stifling, and the individual may fail to grow or take on new challenges.

Healthy Responsibility vs. Over-Responsibility

True responsibility is about being accountable for your actions and managing your tasks effectively. However, there is a difference between healthy responsibility and over-responsibility. Healthy responsibility is about understanding that you can’t do everything alone. It’s about setting clear boundaries and knowing when to say "no" when things get too overwhelming.

Over-responsibility, on the other hand, stems from a fear of failure and the belief that you must carry the weight of others’ tasks and problems. It can lead to emotional burnout, resentment, and the feeling of being taken for granted.

Three Key Strategies to Manage Responsibility

1. Look Inward and Focus on Your Own Needs: Responsibility begins with understanding your own emotional and physical needs. If you feel overwhelmed by tasks, don't hesitate to speak up. Don’t let frustration or resentment build up by silently accepting everything. Also, before taking on a new task, ask yourself if you're genuinely willing to take it on without expecting perfection.
2. Separate Responsibilities: Follow the concept of "task separation," which comes from Adlerian psychology. This idea suggests that while we can offer advice, we cannot control others’ actions or carry their burdens. Helping others is fine, but taking on their entire workload can lead to burnout. Recognize when you’re crossing the line and focus on your own tasks instead.
3. Adopt a Growth Mindset: Instead of fixating on the outcomes of every task, focus on what you can learn and how you can grow through the process. Embrace challenges with a mindset of growth, allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. This mindset reduces the pressure to be perfect and allows you to handle tasks more effectively.

Conclusion: Balancing Responsibility

In the workplace and in life, it's important to remember that responsibility is about balance. While it’s good to be dependable, over-responsibility can be harmful. By learning to set boundaries, managing our emotional energy, and recognizing when to say "no," we can avoid the dangers of burnout and maintain a healthy, fulfilling work-life balance. True responsibility involves knowing when to help others and when to focus on yourself. Life is short, and our personal well-being should always be a top priority.

Read Also:

10 Rules to a Happy Life