"Before You Lend Money, Ask Questions – A Wise Approach"

The story I encountered online begins with a seemingly harmless situation: A friend reached out to borrow money from me via social media, and I was about to transfer the funds when suddenly, he added, "I'll pay you back tomorrow." In that moment, I knew something was off because my friend never specified repayment terms when asking to borrow money. It was then that I realized the person might be trying to scam me.

While the situation is somewhat humorous in hindsight, it highlights a very real issue we all face: borrowing money is easy, but repaying it is often another story. Generally, when someone asks to borrow money, it's from a friend or family member, and if handled incorrectly, it could either damage the relationship or result in financial loss.

Navigating these types of requests wisely is a significant challenge, one that tests both emotional intelligence (how we manage our feelings) and intellectual intelligence (how we assess situations). So, how should we deal with borrowing requests? What should we ask before lending money? To help make these decisions, I’ll share three important questions that you should ask yourself or the person requesting money next time you face a similar situation. Once you’ve considered these questions, you will be clearer on whether or not to lend the money.

Understanding the Right Approach to Lending Money

As the old saying goes: "Don't rescue the lazy, but help the needy." Everyone faces tough times at some point, and it’s understandable to help someone in urgent need. However, it’s essential to be cautious with our finances. Our money is not meant to be handed out recklessly, as it doesn’t just grow on trees.

When someone asks to borrow money, start by inquiring about the purpose for the loan. Why do they need the money? This helps you assess whether the reason seems legitimate. It's also important to ask whether the person can actually repay you. Do they have a plan for repayment, and are they in a position to do so? If the reason for borrowing is clear and reasonable, and the person seems capable of repaying you, you can feel more comfortable lending money.

The Importance of a Written Agreement

Even if you decide to lend the money, it’s wise to formalize the loan. Make sure to write an agreement that includes the loan terms, repayment deadlines, and any interest if applicable. This step is crucial, no matter how close you are to the person asking. Just because someone is a friend or family member doesn’t mean you should skip this process. A formal agreement protects both parties and makes it clear that this is a serious financial transaction, not just a casual exchange.

Personal Story and Lessons Learned

A reader shared a personal experience where he was invited to dinner by an old friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. The evening seemed pleasant until the friend began to cry, revealing his struggles: he had been laid off from his job, his business failed, and he was now facing a divorce. After detailing all his troubles, the friend asked to borrow a significant sum of money, promising to repay it as soon as he could.

Initially, the borrower seemed genuine, and the lender felt sympathy. Although the lender intended to ask about the purpose of the loan and repayment terms, he ultimately let it slide for the sake of preserving their friendship. Later, the lender learned that the friend had developed a gambling addiction, which led to the family’s breakdown. The borrowed money, unfortunately, went into the pockets of the friend’s gambling habit. This story is a painful reminder of how easy it is to fall into the trap of lending money out of sympathy without proper checks and safeguards.

This incident underscores an important statistic: Only 24.2% of borrowers repay their loans fully and on time. This statistic highlights the importance of making sure that, if you do decide to lend, you establish clear terms and expectations upfront.

The Importance of Asking the Right Questions

When someone asks to borrow money, it’s natural to feel hesitant or uncomfortable about questioning them, especially if they are close to you. But, as the saying goes, "A true friend respects the process, while someone trying to take advantage will resist it." This means that while asking for reasons and setting terms might seem awkward at first, it’s vital to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Asking the right questions isn’t just about protecting yourself—it also protects the relationship from future harm. In fact, real friends will appreciate you asking these questions as it shows you care about clarity and fairness.

If the borrower is truly trustworthy, they will understand your desire to ensure everything is done properly. However, if the person gets upset or becomes evasive, that should raise a red flag. It's an indication that they may not have the best intentions, or they might not be as financially responsible as they claim.

Character and Reputation Matter

It’s also essential to consider the borrower’s character before lending money. Has this person been reliable in the past? If someone has a reputation for being dishonest, unreliable, or frequently breaking promises, it’s best to err on the side of caution. Even if they give a plausible reason for needing the money, their past behavior should inform your decision. Trust your instincts—don’t ignore signs of potential dishonesty or irresponsibility. Lending money to someone with a poor reputation is almost always a risk.

One common scenario is when you lend a small amount to a friend, like the example from the TV show, where a character lent $ 30 to a classmate for a train ticket. Later, it was revealed that the same classmate had spent the money on clothes and had no intention of repaying the loan. This situation, which initially seemed harmless, turned into a lesson about setting clear boundaries in financial matters. It’s crucial to remember that kindness should not come at the expense of your own financial security.

Evaluating the Risk and Protecting Your Family’s Finances

Another key factor to consider is your family’s financial stability. If lending money to someone could jeopardize your own family’s well-being, then it’s time to reassess the situation. Would the money you lend cause hardship for your family? Can you afford to lose it without significantly affecting your household’s living standards? If the answer is no, then it might be best to politely decline, regardless of the borrower’s needs or relationship with you.

For example, a man in the story shared how, in his younger years, he was very generous with his money, often lending large sums to friends and acquaintances. However, after he started a family, he learned to prioritize his household’s financial health. He stopped lending beyond what his family could afford to lose and began consulting his wife before agreeing to any significant loans. This approach allowed him to maintain harmony within his family while still managing social obligations. Over time, the number of friends asking for loans decreased, and the family’s financial stability improved.

Taking Responsibility and Protecting Your Peace of Mind

As we grow older, it’s natural to develop a greater sense of responsibility, particularly toward our families. Your family’s security should come before any social obligation. While it’s tempting to help a friend in need, it’s essential to weigh the long-term effects of lending money. Will the loan harm your family’s financial stability? If so, it might not be worth it.

Furthermore, be mindful of people who may try to exploit your generosity. Some may act as though they’re in dire need, but once they’ve received the money, they may not take repayment seriously. It's always crucial to set boundaries and ensure that any loan is reasonable and can be repaid without damaging your own finances or peace of mind.

Final Thoughts

As the Jewish proverb says, “Don’t lend money to friends unless you’re willing to lose both the money and the friend.” Sometimes, asking for a loan can signal the beginning of the end of a relationship. That being said, life is unpredictable, and you never know when you might face tough times yourself. If you choose to lend money, do so with care and diligence—always understand why the loan is needed, assess the borrower’s character, and make sure that the terms are clearly understood by both parties.

If you’re unable to help, don’t feel guilty. It’s better to protect your finances and avoid unnecessary complications than to lend money and end up with both financial and relational problems. True generosity comes with wisdom and responsibility, and knowing when to say no is just as important as knowing when to help.

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The One Trait That Sets Successful Kids Apart 10 Years from Now!

"If You Could Cultivate Only One Skill in Your Child, What Would It Be?"

The answer is clear and undeniable: reading, reading, and more reading.

This isn't just a suggestion, but a deep insight into how reading can shape a child's life in profound and transformative ways. The power of reading goes beyond improving literacy—it's about developing critical thinking, problem-solving skills, emotional intelligence, and creativity, all of which are crucial to success in today's complex world.

Why Reading is the Ultimate Skill

A study conducted by Harvard University revealed a surprising and powerful connection between reading habits and academic success. The research found that 90% of students who excelled and won scholarships spent a large portion of their free time reading. Instead of spending time lounging on a beach or engaging in idle activities, they were more likely to be immersed in books at libraries, often exploring subjects that sparked their intellectual curiosity.

The Success Stories Behind Reading Habits

The idea that reading directly correlates with success is not a new one. Throughout history, numerous successful figures have publicly credited their reading habits as one of the driving forces behind their achievements:

·         Mark Zuckerberg, co-founder of Facebook, has been an avid reader since his childhood. He began creating a "weekly reading goal" as early as elementary school and still maintains it today. His personal book list, which he shares online, reveals his consistent commitment to reading as part of his daily routine. Zuckerberg believes that reading helps him develop new ideas, think outside the box, and understand different perspectives—skills that have been instrumental in his ability to innovate and lead.

·         Bill Gates, the Microsoft mogul, reads about 50 books a year, and he is one of the strongest advocates for the idea that reading is key to success. He has openly shared that his habit of reading deeply in various fields—ranging from science and technology to history and business—has provided him with a solid foundation for strategic thinking and decision-making. Gates attributes much of his financial success to the knowledge gained through reading, describing it as a way to hone his “financial acumen”, or what others might call his "money-making ability."

·         Charlie Munger, the vice-chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, recalls a childhood in which he carried a book everywhere he went. Whether he was traveling or simply at home, he was reading. He believes that he owes his success to the habit of reading, saying, “I became who I am because I never wasted a minute that I could have spent reading.” Munger also stresses that it was through reading that he gained the mental resilience and problem-solving skills that helped him become one of the most successful investors of all time.

Reading for Knowledge, Imagination, and Critical Thinking

The real value of reading is not just in acquiring facts, but in developing the ability to think critically and imaginatively. Reading encourages children (and adults) to engage with ideas, arguments, and different viewpoints. It pushes them to question assumptions and analyze what they read. This, in turn, helps them form independent opinions, solve complex problems, and approach challenges with a creative mindset.

Moreover, reading expands a child's imagination. Through stories, they are introduced to new worlds, people, and scenarios, allowing them to visualize possibilities beyond their current reality. This imaginative thinking is crucial in today's rapidly evolving world, where the ability to innovate and think outside the box is more valuable than ever.

The Science of Early Reading: Cognitive Development

The power of reading begins from a very young age. Education specialists in the UK have found that children who are exposed to picture books and storybooks from an early age develop stronger cognitive abilities than their peers. These children tend to have better language fluency, superior memory, and a heightened ability to concentrate. Their attention spans are longer, and they are more adept at learning complex concepts as they grow.

Early reading isn't just about academic performance—it sets the stage for emotional intelligence and social understanding. By immersing themselves in stories, children learn empathy as they see the world through different characters' eyes. They also become more adept at understanding emotions, both their own and others’, which is a vital skill for navigating relationships and developing leadership qualities.

How Reading Shapes Academic and Life Success

The benefits of reading are deeply interconnected with success throughout life. Students who read regularly not only perform better in exams but also show increased attention to detail, self-discipline, and intellectual curiosity. These traits make them more prepared for the challenges of school, work, and adult life.

For example, children who are taught to read deeply and critically as part of their daily routines are more likely to excel in subjects like math, science, and history. This is because reading teaches them to process information in a structured way, analyze data, and synthesize knowledge from various sources. They are also better at making connections between different fields of knowledge, which enhances their problem-solving skills and helps them approach academic challenges more effectively.

Additionally, reading fosters a growth mindset. Children who read are more likely to understand that their abilities are not fixed and that hard work, perseverance, and learning can lead to improvement. This mindset is crucial for navigating the inevitable challenges and setbacks they will face in their academic careers and adult lives.

The Home Library: A Powerful Educational Resource

The impact of reading doesn’t just come from formal education or libraries; it is often the home library that makes the most significant difference. Parents who create a reading-rich environment—by providing books at home—lay a solid foundation for their children's future success.

A home library doesn’t need to be vast or elaborate, but it should offer a variety of books that engage children in different subjects and genres. Educational experts agree that children raised in homes with books are more likely to become lifelong learners, regardless of their socioeconomic status. Having easy access to books encourages children to read independently, fostering a sense of self-motivation and curiosity.

The Ripple Effect of Reading on Social and Emotional Growth

Reading also has profound effects on a child’s emotional intelligence. Stories allow children to see different perspectives, understand complex emotions, and learn empathy. When children read about characters overcoming obstacles, they not only learn about perseverance but also about emotional resilience. These emotional lessons extend to real-life challenges, helping children to navigate social interactions and personal growth with a greater understanding of themselves and others.

Lifelong Benefits of a Reading Habit

As children grow older, their reading habits evolve into lifelong learning. The world is changing rapidly, and adults must constantly adapt and learn new skills to remain competitive and engaged. A lifelong reading habit provides the foundation for this continuous growth. Reading opens the door to a wealth of knowledge, helping individuals stay informed, make better decisions, and remain adaptable in the face of new challenges.

Moreover, reading enhances mental well-being. Studies have shown that regular reading can reduce stress, increase concentration, and improve memory. In moments of uncertainty or hardship, reading offers a form of escape, relaxation, and reassurance. It helps individuals regain their sense of perspective and mental clarity.

Conclusion: The Gift of Reading

To sum up, reading is not merely a skill—it is a gateway to success. By fostering a love of reading in children, we are preparing them for a future of success, both academically and in life. A child who reads regularly develops the ability to think critically, imagine boldly, and persevere through life's challenges. These skills, far more than technical knowledge alone, will equip them to succeed in an increasingly unpredictable world.

Reading is the one skill that continuously pays dividends. It teaches children to question, think, imagine, and understand. It nurtures creativity and instills a lifelong passion for learning. And perhaps most importantly, it opens up a world of endless possibilities, helping children see that their future is as expansive as their imagination allows it to be.

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The Next Three Years: Hold On, Stay Steady, Endure

In recent years, the world we live in has undergone significant changes.

Even without elaborating, it's clear to everyone: wave after wave of pressure has been rushing into our lives.

A few days ago, I chatted with a friend who runs a restaurant. He said, "These have been the hardest three years I've ever experienced, but also the clearest three years. In the past, I thought about how to resist the difficulties. Now, I've realized that learning how to adapt and find opportunities within challenges is what's truly important."

This statement really hits home.

Dramatic changes in the times are neither something we can decide nor something we can alter with sheer willpower.

So, for ordinary people, how should we navigate the shifting tides and turbulent waves of the world?

My suggestion is simple but essential: Hold on, stay steady, and endure.

1. Hold On

What to Hold On To?

The baseline of life.
Every life has a baseline.
If you can safeguard this baseline under any circumstance—ensuring that it functions smoothly—you'll have built your life and future on an unshakable foundation.

Come what may—storms, upheavals, or crises—you'll still be able to maintain stability and calm.

To hold on to your baseline, focus on these three core areas:

1.1 Health

Your health is the cornerstone of happiness.

Under life's pressures, our bodies often bear the brunt, facing exhaustion and deterioration.

For example, a well-known livestreamer suffered a sudden brain hemorrhage during a broadcast and passed away after eight days of intensive care. Tragically, he'd already noticed signs of discomfort earlier but ignored them. His untimely death left behind aging parents, a grieving wife, and four young children.

When you're middle-aged, your life isn't just yours anymore. Your health is tied to the well-being of your entire family.

Take care of your body—it is the foundation of a happy and stable life.

1.2 Finances

Each year, many people take stock of their finances and realize they haven't saved much. Even giving parents a holiday gift becomes a struggle.

This lack of planning stems from overconfidence in surface-level stability. But one unexpected event—a parent's aging, a child’s illness, or job loss—can throw everything into chaos.

As adults, we must embrace financial responsibility. Learn to save and spend wisely.

You may not achieve financial freedom overnight, but every penny saved is another layer of security for your future.

1.3 Family

"Managing a household is the essence of living. Only when the family thrives can individuals find peace in life."

While we're young, we focus on career ambitions. But as we grow older, we realize that a stable, harmonious family is our greatest source of confidence in facing life's challenges.

• Don't waste time on trivial family conflicts.
• Be understanding and forgiving toward loved ones.
• Remember that family is your refuge, and nothing is more precious than familial bonds.

When your family's hearts are united, external chaos won't feel as daunting.

2. Stay Steady

What to Stay Steady On?

Your rhythm.

The world today changes rapidly. While there used to be room for trial and error, now excessive impulsiveness often leads to greater risks.

Sometimes, those who stay calm and grounded are the ones who last until things turn for the better.

Staying steady doesn’t mean immediate success—it means avoiding losses right now.

Focus on controlling your circumstances, making life more stable, and gathering strength to seize opportunities when they arise.

2.1 Your Mindset

Life is filled with uncertainties, but this has always been true. Just as there are good times, there will also be bad times.

In such moments, maintaining a positive mindset is critical. Trust yourself and be patient with the present.

The essence of a fulfilling life lies not in external circumstances but in your inner peace.

When faced with difficulties:

• Shift your perspective.
• Stay composed and practical.
• Let challenges drive you toward solutions.

You never know when a breakthrough may appear.

2.2 Your Work

Work provides not just a livelihood but a safety net for your family.

A friend of mine, experienced and skilled, recently left a major company, assuming he’d easily find a better position. However, after months of job searching, he discovered that many roles either ignored his applications or offered lower pay and fewer resources.

With no steady income, loans and family expenses quickly became overwhelming.

So, if you have a stable job, treasure it. For most of us, work isn't about dreams or passion—it's about survival and providing stability for those who depend on us.

2.3 Your Actions

In today’s world, where tensions run high, being cautious in behavior is essential.

Avoid unnecessary conflicts, even when provoked. Being rational and composed protects you and your loved ones.

3. Endure

What to Endure?

Life’s storms.

Challenges and uncertainties are part of every era. They push us, test us, and ultimately shape us.

"Life is rarely as we wish, but it’s through pain and struggle that we grow stronger."

Endurance isn’t about finding a way out—it’s about surviving through.

3.1 Loneliness

Many people find their social circles shrinking as they grow older, leaving them feeling isolated.

However, solitude is a necessary stage for self-reflection and growth. Embrace it. When you learn to enjoy your own company, you become more resilient and less reliant on external validation.

3.2 Responsibility

As you age, responsibility becomes inescapable. You must shoulder the demands of work, family, and life’s challenges.

True strength lies in taking on these burdens with courage and perseverance.

3.3 Downturns

Life’s lows can feel insurmountable. Jobs may be lost, efforts may seem fruitless, and crises may appear unending.

But every wound will eventually heal, becoming a source of strength. No matter how tough life gets, push through. Effort and persistence never go unrewarded.

Conclusion

In a world filled with uncertainties, the way forward is clear:

• Hold on to the essentials—health, finances, and family—as your foundation.
• Stay steady to weather the storms with calm and patience.
• Endure challenges to grow stronger and wiser.

The bitterness of life will eventually lead to sweetness if you persist. Keep going—you’ll meet a better life and a better version of yourself.

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