Friday, December 20, 2024

The harshest reality of society is that

San Francisco hosted an upscale meeting of 500 tycoons and politicians in 1995. The gathering prophesied that globalization's progress would significantly widen the wealth gap and intensify the social class conflict. To keep the poor in line, they devised a method: to continuously provide entertainment for the poor, much like giving a baby a pacifier. This is the renowned "pacifier theory."

Reflecting on real life, have you made this observation? 

Whenever you try to focus on something, various distracting factors emerge. While studying, you might itch to play a game, which results in hours passing by; or when starting work, you can't resist clicking on a short video and unknowingly spend half the day scrolling.

The essence behind these "pacifiers" is the "dopamine lure." Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that enables one to rapidly experience pleasure. However, like a cheap drug, it keeps individuals immersed in pleasure.

In contrast, endorphins require an individual to overcome inherent instincts, requiring a challenging effort. However, once obtained, the individual experiences tremendous satisfaction from self-improvement. The harshest aspect of society is that the poor are lost in the pleasure brought by dopamine.

Conversely, the rich continually strive for endorphins. What is the most valuable thing in the 21st century? It's time. Whoever can save someone else's time can gain that person's wealth. If someone's time is wasted, they are doomed to poverty because everyone's time is limited. If you invest your energy in self-improvement and skill enhancement, your value naturally increases significantly. But if you waste a lot of time on pleasure and entertainment, the time for personal growth will be significantly compressed, and silently, you'll be completely wasted.

"The most frightening thing that completely wastes a person is not poverty itself, but those silent temptations. These temptations slowly erode your mind, consume your valuable things, and eventually overthrow you into a useless person."

"In large cities, the way to ruin someone is very simple. Provide a quiet, cramped space, an internet connection, and preferably takeout orders. That's how you start the journey to ruin."

"These dazzling short videos, live streams, and games constantly trigger your dopamine secretion. An immediate surge results in immediate delight, while continuous secretion leads to continuous pleasure. When desire is controlled by this stimulation, you unconsciously become addicted. Gradually, you start ignoring the passing of time, becoming increasingly satisfied with the current state. When you spend all your time on enjoyment, you won't want to change your life anymore."

"Over time, you are destined to sink into the abyss of poverty, and it's hard to extricate yourself. A study by Harvard Business School revealed a stark contrast: the wealthy and elite class prefer additive forms of leisure, such as reading, learning, and exercising. Conversely, the poorer classes tend to gravitate toward consumptive forms of entertainment like playing mahjong, gaming, and watching soap operas. Different forms of entertainment shape entirely different destinies."

There was once a movie about the stock market maven Warren Buffett titled "Becoming Warren Buffett." In this film, Buffett didn't reveal any quick methods for becoming rich. He simply focused on consistent reading of books and newspapers. While the average person watched TV, he forced himself to read academic materials; when they played games, he absorbed the latest financial knowledge. While the ordinary person watched short videos, he diligently studied the most advanced wealth concepts. He woke up before 7 am daily, spending 5 to 6 hours reading various news and financial reports. His office had no computers or smartphones, only books on shelves and newspapers spread open behind him. Yes, renouncing low-level entertainment and persistently engaging in lifelong reading and learning were Buffett's secrets to success.

"Those who produce and design high-tech products never become addicted themselves; they always spend their time in more valuable pursuits."

Steve Jobs' children never used tablets; they spent weekends at home reading books and discussing history.

Observing the lives of the affluent, you'll find many wealthy individuals aren't lax but work diligently and persistently; even if their physique is already excellent, they maintain dietary control and a fitness regimen. Even with high educational qualifications, they continue to read and learn, continually enhancing themselves.

Why is this the case?

It's because the pleasure brought by dopamine is exceedingly cheap.

If you become engrossed in the pleasure of lower levels, no matter how much wealth you have, it will deplete with every comfortable experience.

In contrast, obtaining endorphins is painful but powerful, and strong individuals are eager to conquer.

You must continually force yourself to engage in valuable yet painful tasks, executing those monotonous yet meaningful duties.

Only through this can you firmly control wealth and achieve a worry-free life. Aristotle once said, "Compared to the pleasures pursued by animals, humans should pursue higher-level and greater happiness."

Dopamine represents animalistic pleasure, but over time, it will only consume your time, rendering life meaningless. Endorphins, on the other hand, are the reward after pain, requiring significant effort from you but can bring about revolutionary changes.

How can you pursue endorphins and change your current predicament? Here are three pieces of advice for you.

  1. Endure what others can't.

In today's fast-paced era, almost everyone pursues immediate gratification. However, if you can be more patient than others, the gap will gradually widen. For instance: while others in college are dating, you choose to read and code; while others play cards or games, you engage in serious study. To avoid mediocrity, resist pressures and temptations that lead you towards an average path. Thus, when you choose restraint while others indulge, you naturally stand out.

  1. Be firmer in dealing with what others can't handle.

Activities that generate endorphins are never easy. For example, when Haruki Murakami started running, he'd wake up at 4:30 AM. Even within those 30 minutes, he'd sweat profusely and pant for breath but persisted. In literature, he'd sit alone in his room all day, editing manuscripts, even basic drafts requiring eight revisions. In reality, there is no easy success to be had, no achievement without effort. Life works this way: the more stringent you are on yourself, the better life will be for you.

  1. Surpass what others can't surpass.

In this world, activities that lead to someone's downfall will quickly provide feedback. For instance, watching short videos instantly makes you burst into laughter; eating sweets or snacks immediately brings immense satisfaction; playing a game offers an instant feeling of conquering the world. However, this happiness will cause gradual degradation, ultimately leading to nothing. On the contrary, things worth pursuing and remarkable have very slow feedback mechanisms.

Exercising once won't give you six-pack abs instantly, but persisting for a year might. Reading one book won't bring immediate cognitive change, but reading thousands might bring revolutionary change. Only by persistence can you taste the sweetness brought by endorphins. Only by enduring a period can you change the outcome of your destiny.

There's a saying: "People don't differ much in talent, but their ultimate achievements vary greatly. It's not just about factors like environment and luck; the crucial point is that some choose the path of pursuing dopamine, while others choose the road of endorphins."

When immersed in the happiness brought by dopamine, what will ultimately return to you is life's hardships. However, when diligently cultivating yourself in the pain that endorphins bring, life's inevitable return to you will be sweetness. Always remember: don't let those lower pleasures ruin your life. Don't become the frog in warm water, eventually losing yourself in familiar life.

May you also become a person who consistently progresses, restrains, improves, and perseveres. Only this way, your life will progress more smoothly.

 Read Also:

Prime Years' Pinnacle: Managing 35-55 Strategically

Listen: Podcast

Friday, December 13, 2024

Prime Years' Pinnacle: Managing 35-55 Strategically

The age of 35 marks a critical milestone in life. Before 35, people are usually in their prime youth, a time for learning, accumulating experiences, and continuous experimentation. After 35, life gradually matures, and we need to seriously consider everything, whether it's the burdens of life or the gifts of fate. As Yang Jiang said, "Choose the right path, not the easy one, to truly find yourself."

Today, I'd like to share three powerful rules of life, hoping to inspire you.

Harness the "Ripple Effect"

There's a profound story I once heard. A man, feeling unsuccessful, went to seek advice from a master. The master took him to a lake and threw a stone in. "What do you see?" asked the master. "I see ripples," replied the man. The master continued, "Where do those ripples come from?" "They're caused by the stone you just threw," the man answered. The master smiled and said, "Now try to stop those ripples." The man tried to interfere, but his attempt only caused more ripples, leaving him puzzled. The master cheerfully said, "Life is like that lake. Every step you take might not seem significant at first, but silently shapes your future path." After 35, we should understand that true strength isn't just about moving forward with perseverance but also looking forward. Strong individuals realize that every step taken today lays the foundation for the future.

Cultivate "Story Thinking"

After 35, meticulously tend to every small aspect of the present. Although the gains may seem meagre each time, each step accumulates and eventually builds a strong force. Cultivate "story thinking." A popular view on the internet says, "The most important ability a person can possess isn't mastering technology or marketing but telling a story." Life isn't a monotonous single-lane road; it's a series of vivid, ever-changing scenes. Wise individuals adeptly use the "power of storytelling": they transform dull problems into lively and captivating stories, making tedious truths engaging. When communication becomes swift and clear, the problems at hand naturally become more manageable.

I have heard an educative story. A mother noticed her child always peeking at the answers while doing homework. She repeatedly advised the child, "You must think on your own, homework has significance for testing and improvement..." Predictably, the child didn't listen and the behaviour even worsened. Later, she changed her strategy and decided to first tell the child a story: There was an archer who went to the archer's country to find a highly respected teacher to improve his archery skills. He crossed forests, scaled mountains, and found many arrows perfectly hitting the bulls eye on a tree. Eventually, he met the king, who didn't seem to possess remarkable skills. He asked, "How do you manage to hit the bulls eye with every arrow?" The king smiled and replied, "Anyone can do it. Shoot an arrow first, then draw a bulls eye around it." After hearing this story, the mother looked at the child and said, "Practice is the same. There's no progress in having all the answers correct." The child laughed, then willingly handed the answers to the mother. Logical reasoning might not be easy to persuade, but stories can give people rational insights.

Creating a "Moat"

I once heard an intriguing metaphor: If you liken a person to a castle, there must be a deep and steep moat surrounding it. This moat represents a person's core, ensuring an area of undisturbed refuge, even in the face of external threats. After 35, various pressures come in abundance. Without unique strengths, it's challenging to stand out in life's intense competition. But nothing can defeat someone with a strong core. The strength of one's core determines how smooth the future will be. Life is filled with uncertainties. The only thing we can do is not let today become tomorrow's regret. The best way to create the future is to start now and constantly improve oneself. Establish your moat to better confront the unknown future. After 35, life enters its second half. It's not noble to be better than others; true nobility lies in transcending one's past self. Managing well is a summary of the first half of life and a foundation for future life. May both you and I adhere to these three rules of the strong, crafting an ideal life in life's most crucial period.

Read Also:

Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

Listen: Podcast

Friday, December 6, 2024

Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

Life always has imperfections; even the ordinary and trivial days reveal the depth of life. The essence of life lies not in wealth and status but in enjoying beautiful experiences and having a heart that appreciates the scenery. Only by living every ordinary day steadfastly can one experience the best of life. The meaning of life doesn't lie in external possessions but in inner richness. To live a beautiful life, one must work diligently, make efforts without excessively pursuing unrealistic fantasies. Even in the face of immense challenges, one must strive to overcome them and move forward despite the storms. Excessively expecting things beyond reach only depletes energy, making life heavier.

Life is about calmly facing everything in front of us, aiming to achieve equanimity and positively seizing it. Do not become addicted to fantasies or lose yourself in the future, but learn to be content with what you have. Live every moment with the best attitude and face each ordinary day calmly. With this approach, what can hinder happiness in life? In this world, possessing a happy mindset is more important than anything else. Keeping a positive attitude, having a broad mind, learning to step forward or back appropriately, balancing pros and cons with goodwill and calmness will fill life with warmth and tranquillity. Understand that life is a journey. As long as we maintain a youthful mindset and cherish the present, our days will be full of peace and happiness, and life will be pleasant and fulfilling.

Indeed, living a simple life allows you to experience peace, and a peaceful mindset allows you to go further. We only have one life, and it won't repeat itself. In this brief life, to live happily, the first step is to shape a good heart. To find happiness, one must adapt to the environment and accept nature. Because happiness comes from inner contentment, and true happiness comes from a satisfied heart. Only by nurturing a serene and peaceful mind will life naturally become joyful and relaxed. Making our state of mind cheerful, optimistic, and free is what we should possess in this world. In reality, every individual experiences unique confusion. Life has never been completely smooth, nor is it ever perfect. Only by maintaining a calm and open mindset, learning to cherish and treat with kindness, will our days be full of unexpected happiness and splendour.

As individuals, if we don't experience the joys and sorrows of life, if we don't confront life's challenges, then we can't truly comprehend the meaning of life. Everyone who comes to this world wishes for a colourful life, hoping for happiness and fulfilment. However, in reality, everyone faces their own setbacks and difficulties. As long as we don't lose heart, remain confident, do not be disheartened when facing setbacks, and smile in the face of life's trivialities, I believe we can overcome any difficulties. Because there's no eternal smooth sailing, no one can go through life without any challenges. Even if we fall, we can stand up again, as long as we maintain a peaceful mindset and fearlessly face hardships; no difficulty is insurmountable. Life is about experiencing the various flavors of the world, witnessing joy and sorrow. To be a qualified visitor in this world, not to waste this journey of life. As long as we and our family are safe and healthy, a peaceful and worry-free life is the most beautiful time in life.

Read Also:

Sudden Realizations

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 29, 2024

Sudden Realizations

Some say that life is like a journey filled with numerous trials. It's akin to a stone tumbling into a stream, initially with sharp edges, but over time, as it's worn down by the water's flow, it loses its edges, becoming smoother and rounder.

This process might be filled with pain, yet it's the path to growth. As days go by, the seasons change. After experiencing many things, we suddenly understand.

About Life

Suddenly, I understand: Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good enough. Everyone will face a dark period. During those days, we endure tremendous pressure. It might be long-term efforts that didn't achieve our goals; or giving a lot but not getting recognition; or having well-thought-out ideas but not receiving family understanding. Many things bind us, making us feel tired. However, life is like this; many times, things don’t go as we wish. Perhaps, for some time, life might feel incredibly challenging, with no hope in sight. But as the saying goes: "Do your best, try your hardest, and then let fate decide." When one path is blocked, take another; when a problem is hard to grasp, change your mindset to solve it. After one experiences all the darkness, they’ll realize the difficulties once thought of were not worth worrying about.

Don’t look like you can't handle a little pressure. Don't feel that the future is dark because of a little uncertainty. Don't be disheartened by a setback. In this life, there will inevitably be wrong paths, hardships, setbacks, and traps, and not one will be missing. Persist, get through, move on, and good fortune will naturally come. Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good. In the years to come, may you adjust your mindset, go with the flow, and not let life's pressures burden your life.

About Life Pace

Suddenly, I understand: Each person's life pace is different, and there's no need to be anxious because others got something ahead of us. Have you ever felt like this: throughout our lives, we’re always being chased by the relentless flow of time. In our teens, we fret about academic achievement, and if a classmate scores a bit higher, we rush to study harder; In our twenties, we fret about work and marriage, hastily entering matrimony upon seeing friends married; In our thirties, we fret about children and houses, scrimping while spending significantly on kids' classes and juggling mortgage payments, longing for a bigger home; In our forties, we fret about unemployment, diligently working while pondering side businesses to boost income. Many people spend their entire lives in frenzy, always feeling anxious. They never get the chance to leisurely enjoy the beauty of the world, savouring the bloom and withering, the ebb and flow of clouds. But this kind of life is just too exhausting. One should understand that everyone's pace of life is different.

About Own Pace

Some take 3 minutes for instant noodles; others spend 3 hours making soup. While someone's takeout has arrived at their doorstep, another has just finished chopping garlic and meat. At the barbecue stall, the quickest to be ready is the cucumber dish, and in some buns, the first bite might lack meat. Choose the path you believe is right and proceed with determination, free from unnecessary thoughts. Everyone's pace in life is different; no need to be anxious because someone got something ahead of you. Rather than worrying all day, remain calm, and follow your own rhythm. Take a moment, complete what you should do, be practical, and take one step at a time. The efforts you put in during March and April will naturally yield answers in August and September.

About Love

Suddenly, I understand: Love should be a process that helps each other become better, not mutual depletion. There was a topic asking: "What grievances have you experienced in love?" The comments were quite heart-wrenching. Some went through arduous paths to see someone but received only coldness and indifference. Others meticulously sacrificed, yet all they got was the other's intense demands. Some were treated as invaluable while cherishing their partners as treasures. And others, despite being genuine partners, never appeared in the other's social circles, as if they were a secret lover.

Have you also lost yourself in love and gradually become someone else?

Haruki Murakami once said: "I have the thought of leaving you. It’s not because you're bad, nor that I don’t love you anymore. It's just that the way you treat me makes me feel your world doesn't lack my presence. I could choose to cling to you desperately, but it's pointless. When I'm with you, I become worse, bringing out my weaknesses, impatience, jealousy, and insecurity, evoking the worst side of my character. Therefore, instead of draining each other, it's better to let go. If in a relationship, all you feel is grievances and unhappiness, it's better to let go. A good love should be two people facing life's tests side by side, not making you lose your passion and belief in life. This life is long; there may be many challenges in the future, but being with someone truly in love can help hold up an umbrella against the storms life bring."

May you learn to reconcile with life in the future, without pressuring yourself too much or overanxious, and not sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn't genuinely love you. Let the past fade away and don't worry too much about gains and losses.

Read Also:

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 22, 2024

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old


Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

Read Also:

The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 15, 2024

The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

Middle age usually refers to the midpoint in a person's life, roughly between 35 and 55 years old. This stage is often a period of experiencing various changes and challenges in both career and personal life. Some people consider middle age as the golden period of life because individuals might have established a career; possess some economic stability and family life, while also maintaining a certain level of energy and ambitions.

During the middle age phase, individuals might have more experience and wisdom, with more resources and opportunities to pursue personal goals. However, some responsibilities and pressures may increase, particularly from family, career, and financial aspects.

While some might feel content and balanced due to the maturity and stability of this phase, it's not the case for everyone. Each person's feelings and experiences of middle age vary due to the diversity of individual life circumstances and experiences.

During middle age, some individuals might re-evaluate their life goals and values, potentially reconfiguring their path, seeking more meaning and fulfilment. This period can also be a crucial stage for personal growth and development, prompting positive changes in their mental and physical health and lifestyle.

Reasonableness and understanding

Individuals likely have learned much from life and career experiences, leading to emotional and intellectual maturity. This maturity helps them better cope with daily life challenges and more rationally handle conflicts and issues.

During middle age, people generally comprehend and respect the feelings of others more, feeling a heightened sense of responsibility, considering family and society more. Their actions are more measured and deliberate to ensure their decisions and actions align with logic and reason. This trait of reasonableness makes them more adept at communicating, negotiating, and problem-solving in social and interpersonal relationships.

Moreover, middle-aged individuals might have more control and understanding of their emotions and feelings, aiding them in better balancing the various emotional challenges in life. This balanced approach of rationality and emotions typically helps maintain a stable and mature role within both work and family life.

Improve Skills

Middle age is often seen as a crucial stage in life, where people seek balance and strive to deal with various challenges. During this phase, individuals may have more responsibilities, including work, family, and social relationships. Improving skills can involve continually learning new skills, enhancing professional knowledge, and improving skill levels to adapt to the ever-changing environment. This may include expanding knowledge through educational courses, work experiences, and self-directed learning to enhance performance in the workplace.

In middle age, individuals might realize the need to continuously adapt to new technologies, trends, and changing workplace requirements. This indicates the necessity for lifelong learning and constant skill improvement to adapt to the evolving social and professional environment. Through ongoing learning and the development of new skills, an individual can attain greater success in their career. This might involve professional development, lifelong learning, and exploring new fields. Skill enhancement can provide better job opportunities, increase work efficiency, and improve job satisfaction. Additionally, it better prepares individuals to meet the rapidly changing demands of the workplace.

Moreover, improving skills also aids in personal development. It enhances confidence and helps to better understand personal interests and goals. Through continuous learning, an individual can develop their hobbies, improve social abilities, enhance creativity, and prepare for future challenges.

Overall, improving skills is a positive life attitude and a crucial approach to improving abilities in middle age to cope with life's challenges and changes. It also bestows greater confidence upon middle-aged individuals, enabling them to better navigate their career challenges and remain competitive in a fiercely competitive market.

Emotional Control

Emotional control is particularly critical during middle age. This phase might face challenges from career, family, and personal pressures, hence achieving emotional balance and management becomes vital. Managing emotions not only helps to handle stress but also enhances personal mental health and the quality of life for those around us.

Emotional management involves learning to recognize one's emotions and employing positive ways to deal with them. This might include seeking professional help, learning relaxation techniques, or using exercise to relieve stress. Developing positive emotional management skills can heighten self-awareness, promote inner calmness, improve relationships, and assist in better handling challenges and stress.

During middle age, emotional management also fortifies family relationships. Dealing with various pressures in the family, knowing how to control emotions can improve communication with partners and children, uplifting the overall family atmosphere.

Whether facing career challenges, family stress, or personal growth needs, more emotional intelligence is required. Emotional stability and handling methods become vital during this phase.

Emotional control entails understanding one's emotions, managing emotional fluctuations, and not allowing emotions to influence one when facing challenges. The key components include:

  1. Emotion Recognition: Identifying emotions is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Understanding what emotions are and recognizing the situations that trigger specific emotions is crucial.
  2. Emotional Management: Learning not to let negative emotions control oneself; this can be achieved through practices like meditation, relaxation, physical exercise, etc., to adjust one's emotional state.
  3. Self-Control: Rational thinking is more important than emotional decisions in controlling emotions. Managing impulses and emotional outbursts is vital for maintaining calmness and rationality.
  4. Communication Skills: Expressing one's emotions through effective communication while learning to listen and understand others' emotions.
  5. Stress Management: Acquiring the skills to handle stress and finding suitable ways to de-stress, such as physical exercise, music, art, or engaging with family and friends.
  6. Positive Mindset: Cultivating a positive way of thinking is crucial when facing challenges as it assists in approaching problems with greater optimism.
  7. Professional Help: Seeking professional psychological counselling might be a beneficial choice when emotions are challenging to control or emotional issues arise.

Mastering emotional control requires continuous practice and self-reflection. Not only does it improve life quality, but it also enhances the performance of middle-aged individuals in their work, family, and social relationships.

Read Also:

Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 8, 2024

Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

  1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
  2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
  3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
  4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
  5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

  1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
  2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
  3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
  4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
  5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
  6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
  7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
  8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

  1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
  2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
  3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
  4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
  5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

Read Also:

Crafting a Better 'You'

Listen: Podcast

The harshest reality of society is that

San Francisco hosted an upscale meeting of 500 tycoons and politicians in 1995. The gathering prophesied that globalization's progress w...