Showing posts with label ties. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ties. Show all posts

Friday, January 3, 2025

Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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Friday, November 22, 2024

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old


Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

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The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

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Friday, November 8, 2024

Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

  1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
  2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
  3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
  4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
  5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

  1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
  2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
  3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
  4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
  5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
  6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
  7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
  8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

  1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
  2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
  3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
  4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
  5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

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Crafting a Better 'You'

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Friday, November 1, 2024

Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

  1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

  1. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

  1. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

  1. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

  1. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

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Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

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Friday, October 25, 2024

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

  1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

  1. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

  1. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

  1. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.


About Work:

  1. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
  2. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
  3. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
  4. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

  1. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
  2. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

  1. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

  1. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

  1. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
  2. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
  3. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

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Friday, October 18, 2024

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Simply put: Get good sleep.

These simple four words resonate with many people. In today's fast-paced world, we're often plagued by endless work, feeling exhausted. But if we manage to have a good sleep, not only can we restore our energy and revitalize our skin, but we can also maintain a clear mind and balance our physical well-being.

Roughly one-third of our lives should be spent getting sufficient sleep. However, an increasing number of people find themselves in the dilemma of insufficient sleep, experiencing insomnia, nightmares, and difficulty falling asleep.

Some people overwork and stay up late, while others play with their phones late into the night, then rely on coffee to continue their lives with dark circles under their eyes.

The workaholics and night owls, who have damaged their health through countless late nights, ironically mock themselves for not deserving a good night's sleep.

Those who truly understand the reason know that high-quality sleep brings about high work efficiency and a better life. Sleeping well is a remedy for healing life and a great method for self-cultivation.

The prevalent culture in this era involves staying up late

Statistics show that 90% of young people's sudden deaths are closely related to staying up late. Nights spent binge-watching shows, gaming, or using late nights to console a lonely soul...

If someone accrues too much sleep debt, placing essential matters of life in a secondary position, they're destroying their health and clearly not valuing themselves.

Lack of sleep can result in the ineffective removal of waste from the cerebrospinal fluid, leading to slow reactions, irritability, and even making erroneous decisions.

Looking back at 2010, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 crashed into the Mediterranean Sea just five minutes after take-off, with no survivors. Initially suspected to be a terror attack or due to thunderstorms, the investigation revealed an unexpected truth: both pilots suffered from prolonged sleep deprivation and extreme fatigue, causing a minor mistake.

The captain flew continuously in a fatigued state for as long as 45 days prior to the flight, having only a brief rest before this flight and feeling drowsy but still forced to execute the flight. Despite strictly adhering to duty and not relaxing, a foggy consciousness made it impossible to correct errors in time.

Don't take youth for granted, and don't let your body operate beyond its capacity without concern. Regret arrives too late when the Grim Reaper appears.

If you don't value your body, how can your body value you?

Maintaining good sleep habits, going to bed and waking up early, helps you become more focused and committed to your work.

If life is a gamble, a healthy body is your winning hand.

"Your pathway to a good life lies only one step away: a good night's sleep.

There's a story I once heard:

Emily, dubbed by New York media as the "Wall Street future star," was a senior actuary. She worked diligently, displaying remarkable competence in her job. However, soon after, she suffered from severe depression, becoming emotionally unstable. Her career took a downturn, leaving her exhausted.

In many sleepless nights, she confronted her breakdown alone.

One day, Emily, feeling helpless, turned to a priest at the church, asking why she faced such anguish and torment despite her flourishing career, questioning what she might have done wrong.

The priest asked her, "What do you do every night?"

Feeling wronged, Emily replied, "I work hard."

The priest continued, "Do you give yourself time for a good night's sleep? Sufficient time to ease the negative emotions in your heart?"

Emily suddenly realized that the challenges of work are endless, and only through sufficient sleep could she replenish her energy.

Under the guidance of a doctor, she gave up her poor habit of staying up late and specifically focused on the quality and timing of deep sleep.

In just over half a year, her condition gradually improved, and her body began to recover.

We all know that sometimes our phones need to be shut down and rebooted.

If a person is not in a good state, they also need a complete sleep experience.

The comfortable life we dream of is hidden in a good night's sleep every night.

For those who can't sleep well, emotions become sensitive, making them unable to feel happiness, ultimately preventing them from truly enjoying the warmth of home.

Only with sufficient sleep and full rest can one maintain a complete memory and prevent life's rhythm from becoming chaotic.

If you've treated yourself poorly in the past, why not make a promise starting today: to sleep well.

May you fall asleep peacefully every night and wake up full of energy every day.

Only by sleeping well every night can one live a good life.

People who often stay up late have scattered thoughts. The more they want to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. Even if they do fall asleep, they easily experience light sleep and numerous dreams. Truly exceptional people won't spend too much energy and thoughts late at night, as excessive thinking only increases worries.

Regarding sleep, here are five methods to improve sleep quality:

  1. Make the most of the golden 90 minutes. This is a crucial time for rapid physical recovery, as the brain and body are in a state of deep sleep. Create a comfortable, undisturbed sleep environment before bedtime.
  2. The pillow needs to be appropriate. A familiar sleep environment is crucial to maintaining good sleep. Many people carry their accustomed pillow when traveling, as a suitable pillow offers the most comfortable sleep.
  3. Create a good sleep environment. Bedroom temperature and lighting may affect sleep, so carefully create an environment conducive to sleep. Ventilate in advance, adjust the temperature and humidity, turn off light sources when sleeping to promote melatonin secretion. Sleeping in a clean, fresh, and quiet environment will make dreams sweeter.
  4. Relax your brain and body. Thinking doesn't consume energy, so the brain remains active before sleep. It's best not to use your phone or think about the next day's tasks before sleep, allowing the brain to completely relax. Additionally, avoid strenuous exercise before sleep; some gentle exercises, such as yoga, are suitable.
  5. Be mindful of pre-sleep diet. Dinner should not be too heavy, and avoid drinking coffee or strong tea at night, as this not only reduces the gastrointestinal burden and the frequency of nocturnal awakenings but also prevents accelerated heartbeats. Drinking warm milk before sleep can make you sleep better.

Having a good night's sleep is the most important investment for adults. Health will always be the most valuable wealth. Remember, health is the 1, and wealth is the later 0. With health (1), one can achieve a lot of wealth (0); but if you lose health (1), everything goes back to zero.

The world always appreciates those who can discipline themselves to sleep. Please don't waste sleep because good sleep continuously nurtures life. Even amidst the busy life, by enhancing sleep quality, you can take more control of life's rhythm. May you fall asleep worry-free and meet each brand-new day with full vitality."

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Friday, September 6, 2024

Life's Creditors: We Owe Three People Throughout our lives

In our lifetime, we'll meet many people. Some whom we approach sincerely might disappoint us, while others may invest their whole hearts, but we remain indifferent. People long for their efforts to be respected and their sincerity reciprocated. Each encounter we experience essentially is predetermined.

Fate brings people together; without fate, even being close won't make you close, but with it, you can feel connected even if separated by thousands of miles.

If no debts existed, how would there be encounters? Indeed, meetings between individuals are predestined. In our future lives, these three types of relationships must be remembered and cherished because once lost, they cannot be regained.

The Greatest Act is the Unrewarded Act of Bringing Up

Firstly, we must remember our parents' act of bringing up. As the saying goes, "The grace of giving birth and raising you is greater than the sky." This grace is impossible to repay in one's lifetime. From our birth to growing up, our parents have been meticulous in their care for us, something we owe them for our entire lives.

There's a story that goes: An old man went to a cellphone repair shop to check what was wrong with his phone. The technician couldn't find any issue and told the old man his phone was fine. The old man, upon hearing this, burst into tears, "If the phone is fine, then why doesn't my child call me?" This story deeply touches my heart.

As we grow older, we often forget our parents. In the hustle and bustle of work, we tend to overlook them, sometimes not calling for a long time. Yet, our parents are always concerned about us. Even when you're away from home, they always keep their phones close, volume turned up high, afraid to miss your call. Despite understanding our busy lives, they choose to quietly wait. When the call finally arrives, they want to convey their longing for us but still inquire about our well-being, and that's enough for them.

Did you know? Their expression of happiness without reporting their worries is only surface-level. Once the call ends, they can't control their emotions, and tears flow because they miss us immensely.

"The term 'parents' refers to those who, looking at your back, are always filled with joy and sadness, wanting to embrace you but are afraid to show it."

As time passes and we grow wiser, the bond with our parents begins to fade. While they're still around, give them a call, visit home more often, and don’t wait until it's too late to feel remorseful about the missed opportunities.

Mutual Care, Love that Never Gives Up

Are you like me, not envy couples kissing on the streets but rather admire the elderly holding hands while strolling at dusk?

Many people believe that love is easy to come by but hard to sustain in the long run. However, I've always believed that a wonderful relationship nurtures an individual, making both people even better.

I have a friend who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for ten years. When she decided to start her own business, she had to be in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. I asked her if she was worried about the stability of their relationship.

She said, "We've been together for so long, not only relying on each other but also supporting each other. He supports my decisions, and at the same time, I consider our future together. We cherish each other, and that's what makes our relationship enduring."

Indeed, only through cherishing can a relationship endure.

In relationships, companionship is the most enduring form of declaration of love. Parents may pass away first, children might have their own families, but the right person will accompany you through life's ups and downs and share the trivialities of daily life with you.

Love doesn't require grand gestures, but you must understand and cherish those who quietly accompany you, especially your significant other. In any relationship, there are mutual sacrifices. Moderate sacrifice is love, but excessive sacrifice can become dangerous.

Responses foster communication, and cherishing is what makes love last. Never assume that any contribution is taken for granted. In the long passage of time, cherish the one who has always been by your side.

The Helping Hand in times of trouble

There's a saying: "Life doesn't always go as planned, eight or nine times out of ten." Everyone goes through times of disappointment and destitution, but not everyone is fortunate enough to be helped by others.

Only time can verify a person's sincerity. Those who unhesitatingly support you in your most difficult moments, those who accompany you through your adversities, are the people most deserving of your gratitude and appreciation.

There's a story about a pair of good friends—an average-sized person and an overweight person. These friends had known each other for many years, always assisting each other, and passing through many difficult moments together.

One day, the overweight friend asked the average-sized one, "Why have you always wanted to be friends with me?" The average-sized friend replied, "In the past, others used to bully me because I was weak and thin. Only you were willing to protect me. Then, when I faced difficulties in my business, everyone else avoided me, but you were the only one willing to lend me money. Although you are a bit stingy, straightforward, and sometimes say hurtful things, I still feel that being friends with you is wonderful."

The most challenging people to encounter in life are those who help you in your times of trouble, who are willing to help you through tough times, and treat you sincerely. Because everyone is willing to share joy, but not everyone can have the friendship that offers help in difficult times.

Perhaps only through experiencing adversity can one truly see who is sincere and who is not. For those who genuinely treat you well, always hold a heart of gratitude. The way to repay is beyond measure; this kind of friendship is both rare and precious.

"In this world, when you meet someone who treats you sincerely remain a few." Therefore, those who ultimately remain by your side are the most precious. Only through cherishing will the path of life become brighter.

Even the most vigorous campfire, without added wood, will gradually die out. Similarly, even two deeply loving individuals, if they don't cherish each other, can become strangers.

When care diminishes, the relations become distant. As the relations become distant, emotions fade. Once the emotions fade, it's impossible to return to the past. May you learn to be grateful in your remaining years, thanking every person who has helped you.

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Friday, August 30, 2024

Life is Like Watching Drama

"In our stages of growth, we long to see comedies, full of hope for a joyful life. As we step into our youth, we lean more toward tragedies to refine our fragile souls. Moving into middle age, we prefer to watch tragicomedies, seeking happiness from sadness and seeking pleasure in hardship. By the time we reach old age, we prefer to watch silent dramas, understanding the profound meaning of life in quiet silence."

This idea resonates deeply, as each stage of life has its own dramatic theme, with every act presenting a unique storyline.

Watching Comedies in Childhood

"Retain a childlike heart and nurture interests. A child's life is full of interests. They play, seek pleasure, wholeheartedly immerse themselves, and strive for joy."

Childhood is the opening chapter of our lives, the most carefree time when all children need to do is grow and embrace the promising future awaiting them.

I have a friend whose son has just entered middle school. Despite the increasing academic workload, his child is always optimistic and often wears a cheerful smile.

From a young age until now, his child has lived a remarkably happy life. Apart from the affectionate companionship of his parents, his grandparents also provide meticulous care.

The child particularly enjoys assembling LEGO toys. On Children's Day, Christmas, and his birthday, my friend gift him the LEGO sets he desires, allowing him to focus on assembling them.

He also has a fondness for reading, especially history books. My friend tries to buy suitable history books for him, expanding his knowledge.

Every weekend or holiday, his family goes out to explore, whether it's to a nearby park or as far as climbing the Great Wall in Beijing, continuously broadening his horizons.

Although occasionally faced with unpleasant incidents, the child quickly adjusts his emotions because he understands that his parents are his strongest support.

In the most wonderful stage of childhood, surrounded by a parent's love, a child growing up in such a warm environment is like a comedy filled with happiness, exuding an atmosphere of joy everywhere.

The stage of growth before eighteen is a vital part of every individual's life foundation. A child who grows up joyfully will have more confidence in the future.

The future belongs to every child, especially to those who remain optimistic and cheerful. Allowing a child to grow up in happiness is life's greatest blessing.

Watching Tragedies in Youth

Coming of age at eighteen signifies bearing more life responsibilities, which is the same for everyone. After experiencing various hardships, many young people may come to understand that the most crucial aspect of life is to temper one's inner strength through continuous trials. During the college entrance examination season, some kids tear up with excitement upon performing well, while those who don't fare as expected huddle in a corner, crying desolately. I came across a post from a netizen who said that he would never forget the moment years ago when the exam scores came out. He felt like there was no hope left in his life. His score was below the undergraduate admission threshold, which made him feel hopeless. He had to study in a college outside the province in a field he did not prefer. However, his determination allowed him to complete the three-year college program and eventually successfully transfer to a four-year program. Two years ago, he was admitted to graduate school back in his province. Reflecting on this experience, he expressed, "I thought my life was destined a certain way, but only after going through it did I realize that even in the most difficult moments, life still holds infinite possibilities as long as one doesn't give up." Approaching his graduation from graduate school, regardless of how easy or difficult it is to secure a job, he won't feel fearful because reality has made him much stronger. There's a saying, "If youth's years are wasted in vain, memories will be a tragic desolation." Nobody wishes their life to be a hopeless tragedy, but we may have to experience some disappointing events. Don't retreat or be pessimistic; every challenge in life actually contributes to the depth of our existence.

Watching Tragicomedies in Middle Age

The charm of middle age lies in understanding life and oneself, thus doing what one can and enjoying what life offers. Having experienced a myriad of life's joys and sorrows, those who have lived half a lifetime gradually come to understand themselves and life. Regardless of the immense sorrow or joy they feel, they can face them with more equanimity. In the halfway journey of life, we gradually learn to be indifferent since life involves both sorrow and joy. Middle age serves as the stage connecting youth and old age. Those who reach this stage may find themselves able to calmly face everything because that is part of the process of growth.

Watching Silent Plays in Old Age

As one enters old age, some individuals may no longer possess the fervour for struggle, only the gratitude for being fortunate to live through a day peacefully. However, this phase is not meant to be an idle remainder of life. Instead, it's an opportunity to draw experience from the past, comprehend the true essence of life, and ensure that the future years are more fulfilling and clear.

"Only through hardships can one gain a profound understanding of life, broadening the inner world; this is the key to happiness." Everyone wishes for a smooth life but can't avoid experiencing unfavourable situations and difficulties. Just as life experiences different storylines through its four stages, it includes both joy and sorrow, as well as commotion and tranquillity. Regardless of the stage one is in, what's crucial is living each stage marvellously, enabling a more insightful and freer way of living.

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Friday, August 16, 2024

The Most Painful Awakening in Middle Age

In our youth, we often sought external experiences, having an abundance of courage but a lack of consideration. As we gradually step into middle age and navigate life's ups and downs, our understanding of life becomes deeper, and our inner selves mature. It's then that we begin to gradually realize: the essence of life lies in awareness. Only through continuous introspection can we comprehend what truly matters, distinguish between the trivial and significant, and learn to let go of gains and losses, paving the way for a better life.

The most profound realization in middle age is that: being with people who resonate with your frequency is the best nourishment for life.

In our younger years, we often searched for external connections, brimming with courage but lacking thoughtful consideration. With the passing of time and the experience of life's trials and tribulations, we gain a deeper understanding of life, nurturing a more mature outlook. We slowly come to understand that the key to life is awakening. Only through sustained self-reflection can we see the importance of things, learn to disregard the trivial, and open the door to a better life.

After middle age, the understanding becomes clear: being with individuals who share the same wavelength as you is the best life nourishment. We may have sought to expand our social circles in our youth, wishing to meet more people. But as we look back in middle age, we realize that only a few people truly stay in our lives. This realization dawns upon us, that it's unnecessary to allow too many people into our lives. Those whose frequencies differ from ours gradually fade away in the passage of time. Being with people who resonate with us ensures a pleasant and enduring companionship, allowing for a lifetime together.

"Finding one or two kindred spirits is enough, no need for too many. The value of friendship lies in that candid trust." Although in middle age, it's fortunate to have many people around, it's more important to have one or two friends who resonate with you. They understand your silence and unspoken thoughts. Being with such friends can provide relaxation for your soul.

Health is the Greatest Asset

People often ask: when they reach middle age, working overtime daily to pay off a mortgage, they find themselves with stiff neck and stooped posture. They start questioning if all they gained at the expense of their health is truly worth it. Among the most common responses is: any wealth obtained at the cost of health is ultimately not worth it in the long run.

This is because health is the most precious asset. In the brief span of these few decades of life, whether one accumulates wealth or faces destitution, it's all fleeting. When you notice warning signs from your body, minor conditions can be remedied and treated. However, severe patients have no chance of recovery. Even if you can hire top doctors, visit the best hospitals, and pay the highest medical fees, it may not save you.

 As a proverb says: If you don't have time to rest, you'll eventually have time to fall ill. The overexertion of your health will eventually rebound with an equal cost. In the latter part of life, maintaining a regular schedule, balancing work and rest, avoiding late nights, reducing anger, and staying active through exercise are the best way to care for your life.

Family Harmony is the Greatest Blessing

 "In our youth, the world seemed to be full of people, and everything seemed related to us. But as we step into middle age, we discover that apart from our family, we have nothing." With age, our concept of "home" gradually becomes clearer. Even if someone possesses great wealth and status, a life filled with constant family quarrels isn't worth envying. Among family members, disagreements are inevitable. If we insist on being right at all costs, even if we win the argument, we might lose the bond, leading to our own unhappiness. Overlooking the minor issues brings warmth and laughter into life, a wealth that money cannot buy.

Realization in Middle Age: Detachment is the Best Attitude in the Latter Half of Life Life is a long journey. The more we carry, the more burdensome it becomes. Simplify to the minimum, and simplicity will conquer complexity. Only by abandoning certain things can we move forward easily. Many unfortunate people are unable to control their desires and insatiable greed and carry more and more burden. In middle age, we need to learn to declutter life. When you start to simplify your life, you'll alleviate the weight on your mind and grasp the true essence of happiness.

Reading is the Best Pastime

In reality, middle age is the most suitable time for reading. In youth, the idea was often ingrained that "read well so you can have a good future and a good job." Read books that aren't enjoyable but deemed essential. In middle age, reading becomes purer, devoid of ulterior motives. At this time, simply reading books you like can add flavour to life. Amidst the nine-to-six routine and family responsibilities, reading allows you to experience and feel different lives. As said in "Game of Thrones": "A reader lives a thousand lives, while the non-reader lives only one." Middle-aged reading guides them to find solutions amid life's perplexities, constantly sweeping away the dust from the soul.

Pleasing Oneself is More Important than Anything

In youth, to fit in, people often drift away from themselves to please others. However, relationships aren't built on pleasing others. The more you try to please others, the easier it becomes to lose yourself, making relationships more fragile.

Whose preferences matter more: others' liking or your own? Your affection for yourself is more significant. By middle age, people realize that they've often overlooked themselves, the most crucial person to please. Pleasing others is what everyone seeks, but pleasing yourself is the real path. A person's genuine charm doesn't come from pleasing others but from authentic living. In the second half of life, let's learn to live for ourselves, embody our true likings, and create the life we desire.

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Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not ye...