Golden Years Prep: Three Essentials for Happiness

Recently, I came across a popular video on a certain platform. An 88-year-old ex teacher was interviewed on the roadside: "What are your thoughts on old age?" The elderly person firmly responded, "No surgery, no intubation, no resuscitation. Especially, no admission to the intensive care unit." When asked for the reason, the elderly person said, "At my age, death is inevitable. Resuscitation would not only make me suffer but also waste national resources. These resources are better used to save young people." While the elderly person's open-mindedness is admirable, can their children agree?

"I always tell them, instead of forcibly holding onto your parents' physical bodies, think about the influence your parents had on you. Keeping these good memories is enough." This insightful dialogue garnered millions of likes from netizens.

 "A good death is better than a life of painful lingering" is a deeply rooted concept among countless people. "Longevity" has always been assumed to be the best blessing for the elderly. However, is a long life equivalent to a happy life?

More and more elderly people are beginning to offer "unconventional" answers. I once read a story about a senior who suffered a sudden stroke and was rushed to the hospital. After doctors made every effort to save his life, they managed to bring him back from the brink. However, for the rest of his life, he needed round-the-clock care from medical staff to continue living. In other words, he became a "living dead" person.

Yet, his daughter insisted on not giving up her father's life. As a result, the elderly man spent four years in the ICU before multiple organ failure led to his demise. While the daughter's filial piety is commendable, doctors have a different view: "Although we extended his life, we did not improve his quality of life." "Family members can visit for only one hour a day. What his daughter sees is that he seems happy during that one hour. So, she thinks he's happy every day. But what we see is the patient suffering for the remaining 23 hours."

The daughter of the elderly man was once asked, "Have you ever thought that perhaps your father would prefer to pass away more peacefully?" She replied, "I dare not think about it, nor do I want to. At least for now, I can afford to give him the best treatment, which makes me feel better." Of course, as children, it's very difficult for us to actively give up our parents' lives! As long as we can still save them, we want to keep our parents with us for another day.

But if we look at it from a different perspective, if the elderly person can express their wishes, would they praise their children's filial piety, or would they criticize their children for making them suffer? The elderly person may not bear to make such a choice, but I believe everyone has their own answer in their hearts. Regardless of whether we are willing to admit it, longevity is premised on "health." Otherwise, it's "living in suffering."

In this regard, elderly people often see more clearly than young people. "Many elderly people have been eating medication for a long time, ruining their bodies." Therefore, more and more elderly people are adopting the retirement philosophy of "treating minor illnesses, accepting major illnesses, and not pursuing excessive medical treatment." "The sooner you go, the better. Don't burden your children and end up with nothing."

"Living longer" is becoming easier, but "living well" is becoming more difficult.

Despite advances in medical conditions and improvements in living standards, why are so many elderly people less inclined to "live" now? It's because while society has progressed, elderly care has become more challenging. Foremost among them is the fact that "raising children is no longer a guarantee against old age."

It's not that children don't want to be filial, but they are truly powerless. I once saw a video online. A senior was bedridden for 16 years, and it was his daughter in her fifties who took care of him. Every day, she had to lift him in and out of bed, clean up his waste, bathe him, feed him, give him medicine, and take him for walks... Every day, for 16 years.

This is indeed a perfect example of "raising children to prevent old age."

But what about the other side of the story?

The senior had a pension that could cover most of his living expenses; the daughter retired early, giving up her personal life entirely to care for her father; the son-in-law took on most of the work of earning money and raising children; the daughter's family had no financial pressure from mortgages or car loans; there were other relatives in the family who could occasionally share the responsibility of caregiving.

Behind this "perfect" filial piety are the aggregation of numerous conditions and countless sacrifices. It's difficult to replicate in every family. We always remember "raising children to prevent old age" as a tradition, but forget that "it was a product of a specific era." In the past, medical conditions were poor, and parents generally did not live long.

There were fewer elderly people suffering from dementia or hemiplegia, and caring for them was not as difficult as it is now. Plus, at that time, every family's finances were similar, there were more children, and many women didn't work. "There was not much financial pressure"  making it less difficult to support elderly parents.

But what about now?

For couples with children, life becomes unsustainable if one doesn't go out to earn money. Although the elderly are living longer, they are also plagued by various illnesses, requiring long-term care. Parents, children, work, mortgages, car loans—all these are mountains pressing down on middle-aged people.

This forces children to make sacrifices. Although everyone makes different choices, under the harsh reality, there are always parents who "can't rely on" their children. So, if not relying on children, what about relying on society? Currently, our society's elderly care mainly consists of "home-based care" or "nursing homes."

Elderly people who can take care of themselves mostly choose to stay at home, which is free and saves money. As for the elderly people who are sent to nursing homes, they generally have various illnesses, and they lose some of their ability to care for themselves.

"Not making mistakes" is the caregivers' top priority. "Making the elderly happy" can only be an added bonus. Therefore, the "hardship" in nursing homes does not come from the news about elderly abuse but rather because: under limited manpower conditions, only basic care and some emotional support can be provided to the elderly.

Ensuring that the elderly "stay alive" rather than "live well." As you can see, although medical advances unilaterally extend the lives of the elderly, how they can live well remains a "dilemma." After retirement, some elderly people learn swimming, painting, calligraphy, or singing. Even if their children are not around, their lives are fulfilling and happy.

Happy people are always similar. Many elderly people who have a good late life understand one thing: "Elderly care depends on oneself." Life can never be perfect at any age.

We can always find a lifestyle that suits us better among them. Prepare three savings:

I once saw a sentence online that inspired me: "Elderly care is actually choosing a way to grow old gracefully. There is no limit to the method, and there is no standard answer.

But the most important thing is: always remember to put yourself first."

To spend your old age more comfortably, I suggest everyone include "retirement planning" in their life plan. Starting from now, prepare the following "three savings":

1.Financial savings

The reason why money is important is that it gives the elderly "choices": they can buy what they want to eat, go wherever they want; if their children are not filial, they can hire caregivers to live alone without worrying about their children's faces; and in case of illness, having money in their pockets will ease their minds. When it comes to elderly care, money is definitely more reliable than children.

Many elderly people have been frugal all their lives, just to subsidize their children.

But really don't do this.

You can occasionally help your children in emergencies, but never make it an entitlement. Leave the money to yourself, and let your children take responsibility for their own lives. Taking care of ourselves with money is the greatest help we can give our children.

2.Psychological value savings

Many elderly people have a smooth material life in their old age, but they always feel bitter inside because they base their happiness on "their children's companionship." Why not change your perspective? Treat your old age as your "second life."

Make your own "bucket list," try things you like, and learn to make yourself happy. We've worked hard all our lives, and it's only in our old age that we finally have the "money and leisure." We must make the most of it.

3.Health savings

Undoubtedly, "health" is the most important condition for elderly care. But it's placed last because it's also the most uncontrollable and powerless part for the elderly. No one can stop the aging and deterioration of the body.

So, while your body is still healthy, eat clean food, exercise regularly, and take care of your physical and mental health. Once illness strikes, learn to accept the decline of life naturally. "Treat minor illnesses, accept major illnesses, and avoid excessive medical treatment," allowing life to end gracefully and gently.

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Hard to Handle, Hard to Ignore: The Respect Dilemma

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Hard to Handle, Hard to Ignore: The Respect Dilemma

Have you ever had such an experience: wanting to be kind to others, speaking softly, but always being bossed around and not treated equally in return? Wanting to avoid conflict, diligently doing your own job, but constantly being suppressed and excluded? In life, not all kindness is met with kindness in return. Sometimes, the more you sacrifice yourself to accommodate others, the more you're seen as an easy target, and you're gradually pushed into a corner.

If you've experienced such situations, then I suggest you start today by being a kind but "difficult to deal with" woman. Living with edges and corners, there are times when you must stand firm.

By doing so, you're more likely to gain respect and move towards happiness.

Stick to your bottom line

There was a neighbor before, whose mother-in-law had a fierce and domineering personality. From the renovation of her son and daughter-in-law's marital home to the couple's financial situation, she had to intervene in everything.

At first, she made her son hand over his salary after getting married, claiming that young people spend money recklessly, so she would manage it for him. Then she demanded that her daughter-in-law cut ties with her own family after receiving the betrothal gifts, insisting that everything should be controlled by her family. For other people, even if they felt that the mother-in-law's demands were unreasonable, they could only passively tolerate and retreat, afraid to cause too much conflict openly.

But this daughter-in-law refused to give in. She argued based on reason, stating that she could contribute to household expenses every month, but with the pressure of mortgage and car payments, she couldn't give up her salary. As for cutting ties with her own parents, it involved her principles and bottom line, which she couldn't agree to under any circumstances.

 If the mother-in-law continued to insist, she would publicize these matters and let everyone judge. Seeing the daughter-in-law's strong attitude, the mother-in-law had no choice but to retract her demands. Later, the same situation occurred several times, and the mother-in-law no longer dared to exclude her daughter-in-law, but treated her with the respect she deserved.

In a woman's life, she inevitably faces different roles and challenges. But whether it's establishing herself in her in-laws' home or managing her marriage and life, those women who truly thrive have their own principles and bottom line, remaining neither humble nor pushy. Besides sticking to her beliefs, it's more important to convey her attitude to everyone, telling them: "I'm not easy to bully, and crossing my bottom line will come with consequences." Women like this naturally exude confidence and toughness from within, making them unassailable whether facing their in-laws or anyone else.

Dare to reject anyone who doesn't seek to please

If you carefully observe people in the workplace, you'll find that those who work tirelessly for the lowest salary in the company are always the most agreeable ones. For example, in a previous company, there were two interns with similar educational backgrounds, both diligent and responsible.

The difference was that one, let’s call her A, was timid. Every time she was asked to do something by her colleagues, she hesitated to refuse, fearing that it would affect her relationships with them. As a result, she ended up with more and more tasks, becoming busier and more chaotic, and some colleagues even resented her for helping others but not them.

In contrast, the other intern, let's call her B, remained calm and composed. Similarly asked by colleagues to take on extra tasks, she helped where she could, but firmly refused when it exceeded her capabilities, investing more time and energy into her own work.

So what do you think happened? Initially, some colleagues also had some resentment towards B, feeling that she was too arrogant. But because B had fewer miscellaneous tasks, higher efficiency, and achieved more outstanding results, the leadership appreciated her more. Seeing this, everyone began to approach her, and she became even more popular in the company.

There's an unspoken rule in human interaction: people bully the weak and fear the strong. No one will actively seek confrontation; it's easier to manipulate those who are compliant. So don't let yourself be the compliant one anymore. At any time, in any situation, respect your own needs first. 

Clearly refuse to do things you don't want to do or can't do. Don't be afraid of offending people, and don't care too much about others' opinions; being disliked is a normal part of life. But first and foremost, respect yourself, and you may earn the respect of others.

Have your own opinions

Some time ago, I received a message from a college roommate I hadn't seen in a long time: "I've been having a tough time these past few years." Upon inquiry, I learned that she was being ignored by her company, with leaders and colleagues disregarding her feelings.

During Public holiday, she was scheduled to work overtime, and she was also assigned difficult clients to handle regularly. I asked her, "Have you ever expressed your thoughts to the company?" She replied that when the leaders arranged overtime work for the National Day and asked everyone for their preferences, she was afraid of upsetting the leaders by directly refusing, so she chose to give an ambiguous reply: "I'm fine with anything, whatever you decide."

After hearing her response, I immediately understood where the problem lay. In my memory, she had always been a person without her own opinions since college. When classmates gathered for meals and asked what dishes she wanted, she would say anything was fine; when tasks were assigned for class activities, and opinions were solicited, she would say anything was okay, indifferent. Over time, people gradually stopped asking for her opinions, and she became increasingly ignored, silent and obedient, following others' lead.

To be honest, each of us is more or less like her, clearly involved in matters concerning ourselves but afraid to make decisions. Afraid of making the wrong choice, afraid of making mistakes, always hoping that others will make decisions for us. 

As a result, over time, we gradually lose our own values, lose our personality, and become easily influenced by others' opinions. Those women who are difficult to deal with are the opposite. They never blindly follow others but clearly know what they want. No external disturbances can shake their inner decisions.

However, having opinions doesn't mean being aggressive or confrontational. Instead, it means having your own thoughts and judgment, respecting others' opinions but not easily being swayed by external influences. If you can do this, others won't dare to underestimate you easily. In human interactions, honesty and kindness are not enough; being too honest and too kind may even provoke the evil in human nature.

Instead, it's those who are difficult to deal with that others dare not easily offend, inadvertently avoiding many troubles for themselves. So, ladies, from now on, please deliberately cultivate the quality of being "difficult to deal with." In your interactions with others, you can be a little tough, have a bit of a temper, and appropriately show your sharpness.

Learn to defend your boundaries and maintain your viewpoints, so that you can protect yourself when necessary and live a relaxed and comfortable life.

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Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

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Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

You've probably heard the saying that all efforts in life result in either being laughed at or being effective. The ultimate outcome depends on how you manage things. Over the past few years, there have been increasing stories about interpersonal relationships. Some relationships, when managed well, become lifelong friendships; others, when mishandled, become the subject of ridicule.

When it comes to interacting with others, what principles should we adhere to? What boundaries should we maintain? Here are a few key points that we mustn't overlook:

1. Ignore Unnotified Events:

Be smart about it. Regardless of what's happening in someone else's family, if they haven't informed you, just pretend you don't know. And afterward, don't inquire about it either. Why?

A friend once shared a story. When he was young, he used to mingle in circles whether or not he was invited. He'd eagerly join friends for dinners or family gatherings, whether formally invited or not. One time, he happened to run into some friends who were quietly planning a barbecue. They didn't intend to make a big deal out of it, but he tagged along anyway. "I still remember the looks on their faces when they saw me. The table fell silent. They looked at me in surprise, and I innocently looked back at them." 

That meal was excruciatingly uncomfortable for him. He sensed that the people around him had something they wanted to say. But upon seeing him, they chose polite smiles instead.

That experience made him realize: in interpersonal relationships, if someone doesn't inform you about an event, it means either you're not close enough or you shouldn't be attending that gathering. If you attend out of mere curiosity, you'll end up not only embarrassing yourself but also the host.

Of course, there's one exception to this social principle, as we often say: "Attend joyous events (weddings) only when invited; attend non-joyous events (funerals) even when not invited."

The most crucial aspect of interpersonal relationships is knowing when to attend which events, and when not to. That's the discretion expected of an adult. Remember, a smart person's strength lies in their intellect. Often, controlling the situation also means understanding the boundaries and limits of interpersonal relationships.

2. Refrain from Arguing:

Different perspectives don't always necessitate debate. Have you ever wondered what it's like to communicate with someone who lacks understanding? Someone answered that communicating with such a person is distinctively tiresome because they want to argue against every word you say.

Their mantra is, "No, that's not it!" You might think they'll bring new insights, but upon closer examination, you realize they're just paraphrasing what you've said or arguing for the sake of it, lacking substantial evidence. 

Some people have "refutational personalities." They share a common trait: no matter how logical your argument, they'll oppose it with a few counterarguments. "No, that's not it!" is their eternal opening line. The most effective way to deal with them is to swiftly end the conversation when they start arguing.

Remember: it's wise to speak less in different positions. With differing understandings, it's best to avoid arguments altogether. Effortlessly restraining the urge to argue ensures a sense of propriety in interpersonal relationships.

3. Moderate Enthusiasm for New Acquaintances:

Instantly revealing your inner thoughts to someone is far from ideal. Innocence is a virtue, but in today's world, it's often mistaken for a lack of decorum. We can express ourselves appropriately, but remember not to overdo it.

One friend had a very outgoing personality and was very warm towards everyone she met. People around her liked her and saw her as a ray of sunshine. However, such relationships didn't last long; it was rumored that she had fallen out with those around her.

The reason lay solely in her talkativeness. She never paid attention to the closeness of relationships while conversing. Whether with strangers or close friends, she would chatter endlessly whenever she met someone. Whether discussing her family's affairs or friends' private matters, she would talk non-stop. Little did she know, such behavior would make listeners feel pressured or insecure. Over time, those around her gradually realized that to avoid becoming the subject of gossip, the best thing to do was to keep their distance from her. Consequently, fewer and fewer people were willing to be her friends.

In social interactions, "oversharing" has always been a major taboo. Sometimes what you perceive as genuine might be viewed as low emotional intelligence by others. Remember, between individuals, there are many topics that can only be discussed with specific individuals. Don't reveal too much too soon just because you feel a connection. And never bare your soul just because you're feeling impulsive.

Smart individuals understand that with new acquaintances, it's fine to talk about the weather, movies, or celebrities. But refrain from discussing yourself or others' private matters.

The art of getting along isn't about instantly becoming bosom buddies. It's about understanding the limits of social interaction, gradually deepening connections, which ultimately fosters better relationships.

4. Avoid Making Decisions for Others:

Have you encountered people like this in your life? They're domineering and always love giving advice to others. It's fine if they're capable. But if their advice isn't genuinely helpful due to their lack of competence, it could hasten the breakdown of relationships.

I once watched a video. A girl went to her best friend's house to vent, complaining about how difficult her job was. She felt like her boss was deliberately making things hard for her, giving her all the dirty and tiring work, but come bonus time, she got nothing. "I don't want to do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I want to quit," she lamented.

Listening to the girl's endless grievances, her best friend joined in the complaining, saying that if things were that bad, she should quit and assured her, "Don't worry, resign. I have a friend whose company is currently short of people; I'll recommend you." The girl perked up at the suggestion, ignoring the specifics of the job her friend recommended, and resigned the next day.

However, the available position didn't match her work experience; the clerical job she was qualified for had already been filled, leaving only a receptionist vacancy. Pressured by next month's rent and credit card bills, she reluctantly accepted the job. Barely two weeks into the job, she went back to her friend to complain, tinged with accusation: "Look at the job you recommended. It's just making tea, handling deliveries every day!" "It's worse than my previous job!"

In a few words, her friend's heart sank, and their once amicable friendship was ruined. One golden rule of social relationships is this: never make decisions for others for free. While you might think, "What's wrong with helping a good friend?" in their eyes, from the moment you utter those words, you're fully responsible for that decision. If your decision doesn't improve their situation, you become the culprit.

Remember, we can never truly empathize with someone else's situation, nor can we feel their current emotions. Making decisions for others without their consent is an overstep. In the end, it's likely to do more harm than good. If it succeeds, the other person might not even remember you; if it fails, you're definitely at fault.

Why bother?

Human interactions inevitably have many passionate moments. But the more passionate the moment, the more critical it is to understand that no matter how much you want to connect with the other person at that moment, you must keep a cool head. This isn't just self-preservation; it's fundamental to how we navigate the world. Of course, after all this discussion, it doesn't mean I'm suggesting you should stop socializing altogether.

"Socializing" is merely a tool. When used effectively, everyone benefits, and you can achieve a lot with a little. So, don't worry about complex rules, and don't fear difficult situations. Although humans are insignificant, they can learn, improve themselves, and grow. The value of humanity lies within itself. Life is a journey, with each step revealing new scenery and insights.

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Unlocking Likability: The Strategy of Indifference

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Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old

Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

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The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

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Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

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Crafting a Better 'You'

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Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

2. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

3. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

4. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

5. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

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Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

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Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

2. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

3. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

4. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.

About Work:

5. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
6. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
7. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
8. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

9. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
10. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

11. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

12. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

13. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
14. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
15. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

Read Also:

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Listen: Podcast