This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

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Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

Not Worth It

"What makes people feel weary is not the distant mountains but the grain of sand in their shoes." Many people facing setbacks in life aren't dealing with enormous challenges, but rather trivial things. Yet, it's these seemingly unimportant little matters that continually drain one's energy. With life spanning just a few decades, why bother with those unworthy people and matters? Why let insignificant trifles upset us? Inner peace and tranquillity will foster a more joyful state.

Don't Entangle Yourself in Unworthy Matters

In this world, every matter has its cost. Wasting time on unworthy matters inevitably leads to missing out on other wonderful opportunities.

In ancient times, there was a person named Min who bought a clay pot on the road and accidentally broke it. Without a glance, Min walked away. Some passersby found this odd and asked, "Your pot is broken. Why didn't you even take a look?" Min replied, "The pot is already broken. What's the use in looking at it again?" This teaches us that many things we cannot change, but we can choose our own attitude.

For Min, staying back to regret a broken pot might have caused him to miss the inn for the night's rest or the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the sunset. Rather than wasting one's life entangled in unworthy matters, the better choice is to move forward directly, not to linger, not to regret, and not to look back.

At any time and place, things not worth it aren’t worth regretting, and unworthy matters aren’t worth entangling. Be a calm, composed, and wise person.

Unworthy People, Not Worth Worrying About

Author David Pollay once wrote a book called "The Law of the Garbage Truck." He expressed the view that many people in the world are like garbage trucks, filled with complaints, anger, disappointment, and other negative emotions, wandering around.

Such people, when facing difficulties and setbacks, are full of complaints about life's unfairness. When experiencing emotional setbacks, they're constantly unhappy, affecting their normal eating and sleeping. Also, they find it difficult to let go of the rumours and gossip around them and secretly bear grudges. Such individuals are everywhere in life.

If you give these people a chance, they will pour various negative energies onto you, wasting not only your time but also draining your emotions. When facing such people, don’t invest too much of your emotions, just smile politely and then walk away gracefully.

Because you still want to enjoy the beautiful evening sunset, have a sumptuous dinner at home, share laughter with your family, and have heartfelt conversations with your children. Life becomes more precious as it ages; every day that remains is worth treasuring.

Don't let unworthy people affect your emotions; instead, pay attention to those who are more precious and significant in your life.

Unworthy Objects, Not Worth Clinging To

Have you ever experienced this?

You carefully fold those shopping bags, saving them for possible future use. But eventually, the pile of bags fills your cabinets, rarely finding any practical use, leading to their disposal.

Similarly, those leftovers from lunch carefully sealed and stored in the fridge for future consumption. However, just three days later, you find spoiled food, causing discomfort and extra expenses, damaging your health and wealth.

Sometimes, you might excessively value material possessions, sacrificing the quality of life. Wasting time on unworthy items actually limits your opportunity to enjoy better and more valuable things.

Considering that life doesn’t allow carrying these things forward, why compromise yourself? Throughout your life, don’t let meaningless items occupy your living space. Clear them out to make room for more cherished items, enhancing your life's enjoyment.

Life is beautiful yet brief; we genuinely don’t have much time and energy to waste on unworthy things. Free yourself from these limitations, and your life will shine once again. Reduce troubles, increase composure; decrease worries, increase freedom. No matter what difficulties life throws at you, always maintain a composed heart. May your desires come true, your actions be smooth, filled with joy, tranquillity, and peace.

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Embracing the Essence of Human Nature

Embracing the Essence of Human Nature

Most of the troubles in our lives actually originate from interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, a few words can make people feel warm, but sometimes a single expression can strike fear in them. There's a saying: "The human heart is unfathomable, human nature is ever-changing."

We absolutely should not overly trust specific individuals.

Not Many People Sincerely Want You to Succeed

Both kindness and darkness coexist in people; they often can't stand others doing better than themselves. People around you becoming successful is often more easily envied than those achieving distant glory. A proverb goes: "Aside from parents and a few close friends, there are very few people who genuinely feel happy because of your success. More people ask about your affairs just to confirm you're doing worse than them." Though brutal, this is a facet of human nature.

So, when you find yourself in trouble, do not expect support from others. There are many people to accompany you in joy, but very few willing to share your hardships. When you succeed, refrain from boasting to those around you. There are very few who genuinely rejoice in your success, while those who are envious are many.

Your life is your own, and it doesn't concern others. Experience pain, relish happiness without revealing the intricacies of life to others. Learn to be modest, composed, control your edges, and even in ordinary days, you'll shine.

Others Only See the Results; You Have to Go Through the Process Alone

Some say, "Every person has a fire in their heart, but those passing by only see the smoke." This phrase is deeply resonant. In the adult world, someone understanding you is fortunate, but relying on your own strength is the greatest support.

You hope others understand your struggles, but who isn't going through their own difficulties? You expect someone to traverse hardships with you, but who isn't carrying their own burdens?

Do not blame others for not understanding your plight, nor complain about the cruelty of reality or the indifference of human feelings. Because life is like this; others only see the outcome, while you face the process alone.

So, when you encounter a low point, don't disturb anyone, and never get upset because of being ignored. Don't feel disheartened due to being cold-shouldered; quietly work hard and put in the effort.

The less care you receive from others, the more self-respect and self-love you should exhibit. The more you lack companions, the more courageously you must move forward. Learning to grow within yourself is the way to flourish outwardly. Don't struggle with present emotions because your goal is to stand out based on your abilities one day.

Allow Yourself to Be You, Allow Others to Be Themselves

There's a popular question online: "How to deal with being around certain people whom you don't like but have to be with every day?"

A highly praised answer is: "Allow yourself to be yourself, while also allowing others to be themselves."

Interpersonal relationships are an unavoidable issue, and if you cannot accept it internally, it will bring suffering. Just as you need to allow that some people may not like you, you must also permit the existence of people around you whom you don't like. You must allow your thoughts to not be accepted and also permit others to adhere to their views. Don't force others to change, and don't compel yourself to assimilate.

In the world of adults, there is only filtering, not teaching; there's only choice, not change. Endurance will harm you, blaming will hurt the other person, only allowing will set you free. Ignore those you dislike, cherish those you like. Stick to what you love, allow what you don't, respect what you don't understand, and do what you should do. Don't harbor resentment, don't let things affect your inner self. Respect differences, self-reflect, and find inner joy.

Offer a Helping Hand, but Don't Strain to Assist

"People should do some voluntary work, but there's no need to go to excessive lengths to help others."

If it's within your capabilities, lend a hand, but if it goes beyond your abilities, you shouldn’t strain yourself.

If you put in a lot of effort to complete a task, and others consider it to be simple, not only showing no gratitude but also expecting more help from you; if you agree to help but can't manage, it not only disrupts the matter but also affects relationships, making you feel aggrieved and causing a negative impression.

So, when facing requests from others, don't take on things beyond your capability. Doing your best is an attitude, and acting according to your capacity is a wise decision.

Help to the best of your abilities when you can, and learn to refuse when it's beyond your capacity.

Don't overly worry about damaging relationships by declining; true friends will understand your predicament and won't make you uncomfortable.

Never Judge Others Casually

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact; everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Never stand in your own position and casually judge others. This is the most basic form of respect between mature individuals.

If you haven’t lived through someone else's life, do not rush to express your opinion, as your comments will likely be one-sided. If you haven’t deeply understood someone else's life, don’t draw hasty conclusions, as your judgment could be incorrect.

There's a saying: "Kind words are like the warmth of winter; harsh words are like the chill of June."

Do not let the stinging words from your mouth become a blade that hurts others and ultimately harms yourself.

Understand that there are no secrets to be spoken; speaking cautiously is the wisest choice. The wiser someone is, the more they focus on themselves, while those restless and superficial individuals love to gossip about others.

Silently reflecting on one's own mistakes, refraining from easily judging others, doing things with a sincere heart, and being cautious with words is the way to live.

Don't Always Seek to Triumph in Words

"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who want to win, and those who want to win an argument."

When a person insists too much on winning verbally, it not only creates an impression of arrogance but may also appear undesirable due to emotional outbursts.

Never directly oppose others' views. Life is not an arena, and one shouldn't always seek to defeat others in verbal debates.

Understand that language is a tool for conveying emotions and solving problems, not a weapon for victory.

Many times, we seem to have the upper hand but actually suffer considerable losses. Arguing with loved ones, winning the argument but losing the relationship; arguing with unimportant individuals, winning vanity but losing dignity.

"Always aiming to win in words is the basest behaviour."

If you're right, there's no need for arguing; if you're wrong, there's no point in debating.

Learn to maintain the dignity of yourself and others in communication, provide a sense of superiority to others—this is the wisdom of dealing with people.

I strongly agree with the phrase: "The most valuable thing is not that we are all the same, but knowing that 'we are different' and still being able to respect and understand each other, communicate while maintaining our independence, without conforming, degrading, flattering, or crossing boundaries."

Interpersonal communication is like practicing, it requires wisdom. Learning to be sincere and setting boundaries, being close but not excessively so, being cautious and proper in handling affairs, and maintaining an appropriate distance in relationships are among the most important elements of sustaining all relationships.

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24 tips to make you socially successful in the world

Some feelings, only oneself understands

The saddest moments in life are when you truly don't want to say or do anything. You just want to be alone in silence for a while.

There are many people around you saying, "If you have any troubles, remember to talk to me." But every time you feel troubled, you open your phone, look at a long list of contacts, and don't know who to reach out to.

The words you want to say are always composed and then deleted. Or, when the call connects, and you hear the other person's voice, suddenly you don't want to talk anymore. No matter what others ask, you say everything is fine, it's okay.

In this world, there are some feelings that only you understand. No matter how you describe your feelings, others only understand the surface. Some people think you're not strong enough, some think you're too dramatic, and some even want to rub salt in your wounds.

I once saw a question: Why do people become silent as they grow up?

Because you start to understand that even if you say a lot, even if your dependence runs deep, the number of people who can truly help you is few. Sometimes silence is not because there's nothing to say, but it's more like, "Let me get through this toughest time, then I'll talk to you about the past with a smile."

Maybe one day, when we face the past, all the sad emotions can be relieved. All the entanglements, hesitations, and confusion will no longer be a stone at the bottom of your heart.

Just as the saying goes: "When you've walked through the darkest tunnel, you'll no longer fear any dark night. You'll have the courage to face all kinds of challenges and the confidence to become a better person."

Whether it's joy or sorrow now, learn to heal yourself, then silently strive, shining like a star, surprising everyone.

How have you been lately? How's your mood? When you're feeling down, how do you console yourself?

These 10 signs that you are getting better

These 10 signs that you are getting better

1 Gradually getting savings

If you have read The Road to Financial Freedom, you will know that the first rule of happiness is to save money.

Old people love to save money, but in our generation, somehow, they have all become "negative" people. We borrow and overdraw for the future, and then use our present efforts to pay back our past spending.

Good saving habits will give you a sense of security and also give you more initiative in the world of "buying".

If you've graduated a few years ago and still don't have any savings, be sure to take note, but don't worry, start saving now.

2 Be able to get up early and go to bed early on your own initiative

The key to this one is "initiative".

A psychiatrist friend of mine once told me that the best way to treat depression is to give the patient a sense of control first.

I asked, "What is a sense of control?

He said, "It starts with taking the initiative to go to bed early and get up early.

Actually, going to bed early and waking up early is not so great. What is great is to take the initiative to go to bed early and wake up early for ten years.

In other words, you are not woken up by work or your boss, you want to go to bed early and get up early, you want to do something with your time in the morning.

Of course, it's also pretty awesome that you have to go to bed late and get up late on your own initiative for ten years as a whole.

3 Start accepting your imperfections

Everyone, in fact, has their own flaws.

But a person will focus more on his or her strengths and strategically ignore his or her weaknesses, which has two benefits.

Firstly, one can be more confident.

Secondly, one can put better energy into one's strengths.

In fact, the older one gets, the less likely one is to accept one's imperfections, but it is when one begins to accept one's imperfections that one will move towards perfection.

In one's twenties, one has to come to terms with one's imperfections.

In one's thirties, one accepts the imperfections of one's parents.

In one's forties one has to come to terms with the imperfections of one's children.

Imperfection is also a form of beauty.

4 Take the initiative to stop having friends with negative energy

The older you get, the more likely you are to see that negative people are actually lurking around you.

Many may be friends and relatives who are usually particularly close, but remember.

As you start to make the leap, you will find that you become more and more out of step with your old surroundings, and that those people you used to be very close to are instantly distant.

But don't worry, move on. Sometimes you don't have to cut off those friends, they will cut you off.

It's not a big deal, you just need to move on, and the brave will follow you on the road.

5 Start reading and exercising regularly

Apart from the dopamine production and the desire to learn, more importantly, you start to realise that there is more to life than just the little circle you were in.

A person who lies down all day will not know the kind of joy that comes from being on a treadmill.

Similarly, those who don't love reading will never understand how the world is seen by those who have knowledge in their brain.

6 Begin express yourself regularly

So, please start expressing and outputting regularly, for example, writing articles, which, at first, may not be read by many people, but as you write better and better and more, more people will read them.

7 Eat well at every meal

What is the most basic sign that a person is being alive?

The answer is to eat well at every meal.

You can take the initiative to choose some ingredients that will ensure you have three meals a day, with less sugar, lesser carbs and more high protein and vegetables.

The body is the carrier of the soul, when the body is finished, it's too late for everything.

8 Gradually start to be grateful for the world

I have a friend who send thank you to his loved ones everyday.

People can become particularly uncaring and ungrateful, taking everything for granted.

But once said, you feel the world is full of warmth, and really, if one is even grateful for every day one is alive, the state of being will change dramatically.

What's more, it's not just the person who is grateful that will actually benefit, it will be themselves.

Some studies have shown that a grateful person has a higher sense of well-being themselves than the person being thanked.

9 Understand the meaning of solitude

Solitude is the best period of appreciation, there will be a point when you do not have the accompaniment of your large circle of friends compared to now.

At the end of the day, people are meant to be alone. But there is one characteristic of masters: they are used to being alone, they enjoy it and they find a better version of themselves in it.

If you ask me what is the meaning of solitude, I think it is a kind of dialogue with oneself.

10 Knowing how to let go and not to cling to it

The last one is the most important, because almost all suffering comes from clinging to something or someone.

And as you begin to let go of that wrong person that you love so much

Letting go of that painful experience that you cannot change

Letting go of the things you hated but couldn't let go of

Congratulations, you've come out of it.

I hope this helps.

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Give yourself a chance to improve, believe that you can do better

You must work hard and persevere silently until you have achieved results

Before you produce any good grades, you must study, improve your abilities, and strengthen your skills. Everyone must work hard before they succeed. If you don't work hard, you will never get the affirmation and respect of others.

Others can just say that your work is wrong, and you have no ability to argue with others. But if you work hard to change silently, when you achieve certain results, even if what you say is wrong, others will think that what you said is right. Only when your professional level improves and your ability is affirmed by others, others will respect you and think you are a master. If you have no ability, everyone will look down on you, and you will not listen to what you say, and others will not listen to you, even if what you say is right, they will not listen to you. 

Achievements are the only reason to convince others. Only if you see your own problems, you can change to improve your abilities and make yourself stronger. It's a very simple truth. A successful person is surrounded by many people. Everyone will obey what he says and does. Even old people respect him. Similarly, when you have no grades or abilities, no one will take you seriously.

 

Before you have achieved results, don't tell others about your ability and strength, because if you have no ability, you have no achievements, and you simply don't have the ability to support you to argue with others, even if you are right. So before you have no achievement, only by doing things silently and doing things well, can you be affirmed and respected by others, and what you say has weight.

 

As a boss or as a leader or as a technical worker, you must have achievements in your profession and be able to do things well. If you can only talk, but has no actual action or ability, others will not obey you. Even if you are the leader, others will look down on you. Because they think that you don't have the ability but to rely on others to help you do it, and others will always respect the strong. Ordinary people like us work very hard and work very hard every day, but we have no achievement and no expertise. Only when you stand out and surpass others and are more professional than others, will you become the envy of others.

 

Maybe many people think that they are very capable but this is a wrong perception. Others don’t look at how strong you are but how much you have achieved. It is only when you have real materials and achievements, others will recognize you.

 

When you haven’t reached a certain height, don’t talk about your ideals with others, or talk about your own ideas. If you talk about it, others will only think it’s a joke. When you are incapable, you must learn to bow your head to study, improve yourself, and don't argue with others about right and wrong.

 

Learn to bow your head to study hard, improve yourself silently, don't be afraid of hard work, as long as you are willing to persevere, then one day you will amaze everyone!

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Be aware of your own weaknesses and strengths

Be aware of your own weaknesses and strengths

Each of us must learn to look at our own shortcomings and strengths correctly. Everyone will have strengths and weaknesses, but we must look at our own strengths and weaknesses rationally from a correct perspective. Only by facing up to your own superiority can you change yourself and make yourself better.

If a person has shortcomings, if others point it out to you, you must learn to change. Many people are often unable to face up to their own shortcomings because they can't let go of their so-called face. If they compare their shortcomings with other people's advantages, of course they will lose.

A clumsy bird will always be last and be laughed at by other birds. Winter is coming, and all the birds are flying south. It thought that although it was clumsy, it could fly to the south first, so that it would never be ridiculed by others, and it didn't want to be the last one.

When it was ready, it flew to the south by itself, but it couldn't remember the direction to go to the south, and soon lost its way, so it had no choice but to fly back. When it returned, it found that other birds were gone.

It had no choice but to continue flying to the south alone, and lost its way while flying. It didn't know what to do. Eventually winter came, it was frozen to death on the road.

It is not that the path of the clumsy bird flying first is suitable for everyone. Just like this bird, you must first look at the problem from a rational perspective and see your own shortcomings. When you are not able to change yourself, you must learn to let go and learn, ask others for advice. This little bird did not correctly analyze its ability because of its own ‘face’. When your ability cannot support your face, you must learn to let go of the so-called ‘face’ and learn. Only by being able to endure the ridicule of others and being able to bend and stretch can one become stronger.

There are many such stories in life. We see that many people always like to compare themselves with others. When others use their mobile phones well, they must have one. When others wear branded clothes, they must own one. When others drive cars, they must have one. They always feel that face is very important, but you have to see if you have the ability to compare with others. Others are rich people. Of course, you can choose what you like to buy.

We are just ordinary people, face is not that important.

We also have to learn to play to our strengths and change our own weaknesses, we cannot change some shortcomings, so we have to make up for them and cover them up with our strengths. For example, if we are stupid, we need to learn more. We can practice ten times or eight times what others know at one time. Not all successful people are smart people, and stupid people will become excellent through hard work. The premise is that if you want to see your own shortcomings, you must learn to work harder than others.

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Learn to manage your emotions

Learn to manage your emotions

Each of us will have our own personality, our own temper, emotions. These good personal habits can make a person mature and become better. If you can't control your emotions well, it's easy to do wrong things and let yourself be negatively affected.

Since childhood, we have all been scolded and praised by adults. If you do something wrong and are blamed by adults, you will be unhappy and uncomfortable. Similarly, when you are praised, you will be happy, encouraged, and more willing to do things well. Children are innocent, and they will express their feelings. Each of us lives in a different environment, and the impact will be different. Adults will also be affected as long as they are together for a long time. If we are with people who are very positive and optimistic for a long time and will encourage you in everything, then you will do better and better. If you are with a group of people with long-term negative emotions, you will always complain and complain when you encounter problems. If you lose your temper and blame others, you will also be affected, and you will gradually become resentful and self-defeating. A positive and optimistic person is like the sun, which will radiate its heat to shine on others wherever it goes. A negative person is like the moon, which will make it dark and gloomy wherever it goes.

What kind of teacher will teach what kind of students, just like our parents and teachers were the most impactful when we were young. We spend the most time with our parents, so we are most influenced by them. Parents are our best teachers. There are many things that we cannot change. For example, our parents are something we cannot choose, and it is inevitable to be influenced by them since childhood. Many of our parents will have negative emotions that affect us, such as bad temper, blaming others for problems, shirking responsibility, and so on. Or we were scolded by our parents, Sometimes I can't control my emotions and quarrel with them. But you will regret it afterwards. Although their method is problematic, it is also for our own good. When we quarrel with them, not only can't solve the problem, but it will increase the family conflict.

We will also encounter many unsatisfactory things in society, being blamed by others, having disagreements with others, being wronged by others, and being criticized by leaders. Each of us will encounter these problems, but how can we deal with them better?  Quarrelling or fighting and quitting will not solve the problem at all, but will make it more serious.

We must learn to accept different opinions from others, learn to control our emotions, and learn to accept with humility when others say that you are not good. Even if you are right and others are wrong, don't argue with others too much, because this is fundamental It can't solve the problem, but it will affect your emotions and affect your judgment on things. When we sometimes make mistakes, they are caused by losing control of our emotions, being emotional, and losing rational judgment.

Some things are originally small things, but because of irrational and emotional loss of control, they will lead to big mistakes. For example, when two people bump into each other accidentally, everyone feels that they are not at fault, and one person is emotionally abusive and unreasonable, which will arouse the emotions of the other person, who may become more and more emotional and lose their minds and fight , At this time, one may lose emotional control and if no one persuades him, it may lead to a big mistake. If we can control our emotions and admit a mistake to others, even if it is not your fault, others will not hold on to it. Even if the other party is unreasonable and scolds you a few times, you ignore him, Things are over. .

We often watch some games, TV dramas, live broadcasts and so on, and we will find that those who don't know how to control their emotions are easy to make mistakes. I have seen some live broadcasts. Some people say that they can't stand arguing with others after a few words. Some people who can control their emotions, they just ignore them, and some people will laugh it off when they are scolded, and it will pass. The same thing is handled in different ways, and the results obtained are completely different.

Learning to control your emotions and manage your psychological changes will allow you to better judge the right and wrong of things and deal with problems better. Don't let your emotions control you; it will do you no good but bad. Problems that could have been easily dealt with can easily complicate the problem if you can't control your emotions. It is a science to manage your emotions well, and it allows you to improve and deal with problems better.

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14 workplace golden rules, which can effectively help you survive in the workplace better

1. There are only two types of people in the office, the protagonist and the secondary characters

In the workplace, if you want to live a relaxed life and don't want to climb up the ladder, you can only be a secondary character for your lifetime. The disadvantage of playing a secondary character is: you will die first without any credit. Considered first during layoffs. The current workplace is definitely not a place to raise lazy people. If you want to survive better than others, you have to be the protagonist and let others be the secondary character.

2. Everyone must have great ambitions, even if they want to destroy the world

Ambitiousness is the first condition to be a protagonist. In the workplace, if you don’t have a goal, you won’t be able to climb up the ladder aggressively, and in the end you can only become a secondary character and a victim of others. So whether you want to destroy the world or become the richest man, you must have ambitions and take this as your goal.

3. Don't be fooled by ideals, ideals are needed, but not others' ideals, but your own

When mentioning great ambitions, some people will think of corporate goals, corporate culture, and impassioned speeches from the boss. Forget about those, the boss's ideal is only the boss's, but in the workplace, you are independent. Keep a clear head and not be easily fooled. No matter what ideals others have, you must firmly remember your own ambitions, which is the foundation of your life.

4. If you really have no ambition, then fight for money

Everyone wants to retire, no one will want to work for others for life. So making money is the most important pursuit of people. A very dangerous situation in the workplace is that the boss uses ideals to win over people and wants people to work for nothing without money. But if you are really willing to work without money, then you are worthless. Since you are worthless, what is the need for existence? Money is the only thing that measures your worth. If you really do not have ideals, then strive to make money.

5. You may not be smart, but you cannot be careless

The workplace is the same, you can be not smart, but you can't be careless. People who are not smart are at most clumsy and do worse things. And in the workplace, it's not a great sin. But if you are not careful, you will violate the interests of others at any time, and commit the taboo of offending others in the workplace. Keep your mouth shut, don't talk about your colleagues when you can, and don't say bad things when you can say good things about people.

6. The boss will know everything you say. So think about what to say and what not to say

Don't expect your boss not to hear what you say in private. The boss knows everything, that's the truth. It's exactly the same in the workplace, as long as you're not talking to yourself, you have to worry about the person you're talking to getting word out. And experience tells us that every comment about the company will eventually reach the ears of the boss. So when you talk to anyone, think carefully about what to say and what not to say. Never say what you shouldn't say, and shut up what you don't want to say.

7. Playing stupid is always the least likely to make mistakes no matter when

When someone asks you to make decisions, no matter how you choose, it is wrong. Then pretending to be stupid is the best choice, which is the least error-prone way when you have no choice. Don't worry about being stupid, even if everyone sees that you're being stupid, they still can't do anything about you. Those who are really unlucky are those who have made decisions.

8. Thinking of yourself as the smartest person is often the stupidest

In the workplace, always thinking of yourself as the smartest person is always a secondary character. A truly smart person is one who can be a fool or shrewd as and when necessary.

9. You must have a backing, but what is more reliable than a backing is to make yourself valuable

Therefore, in the workplace, building a good relationship with your bosses is a must, and it is very important to find a good backing for yourself. And more importantly than that, make yourself worth enough that every boss has to win you over.

10. You belong to the boss, but the boss does not necessarily belong to you.

When a boss tells you that you belong to him, you must be clear in your heart that the boss is not yours. You are his and he is his. When your affairs conflict with the interests of your superiors, they will betray you without hesitation. Always remember that you are your own and only you can be responsible for yourself. Don't believe the boss's words of pretending to be close, it will be a trap at any time.

11. The boss says he is very reassuring about you, but the fact may be just the opposite

If the boss is really at ease with you, he doesn't need to mention it often. True trust is shown through actions. When the boss is willing to do things that hurt others and fight in the workplace with you, that is a manifestation of trust. But the boss verbally said that he is relieved with you, but he should be careful. It is very likely that you have done something to make the boss suspect that you are unfaithful.

12. Think about problems from the standpoint of the boss, and do things from the standpoint of oneself

When your boss trusts you and asks you to do something, you must have a ruler, and don't do everything stupidly. You have to think about the problem from the standpoint of the boss, understand why the boss does it, and what purpose it can achieve. Then make a decision based on your own position, some do it, some shirk it. Choose to do things that are in your own interests, and evade ideas that are not in your interests. Please use what you do to please your boss, and let your boss know that you have done your best by what you don't do.

13. There must be shortcomings

In the workplace, there must be flaws. A perfect person with no flaws will be hated and respected by others. If even your boss keeps you at arm's length, your career path will be in danger. So smart people will deliberately expose some shortcomings, especially innocuous ones, so that the boss thinks he can handle you, and that is the safest situation. But the shortcomings must not be fatal, but they cannot be your real weaknesses.

14. Everyone is on the side of evil, because everyone has their own good

Finally, a word about ideals. Everyone has their own ideals, and what is good for their own ideals is good, and what is not conducive to other people's ideals is evil. Because people have different positions and different needs. So in the eyes of others, you must stand on the side of evil. You are always your own good and others' evil.

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30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

Get a FREE copy of: Retire with a Plan A Step-by-Step Guide to Building Your Ideal Retirement Lifestyle for a limited time only.

30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

1. Making money is the most effective way to protect yourself and those around you.

2. Don't look down on anyone. Many people who wear slippers may be millionaires.

3. People who suffer the most are often the most sober.

4. Broken love is not terrible; it is just paving the way for the arrival of true love.

5. For ordinary people with no background and no resources, insisting on doing one thing can make you surpass 90% of your peers.

Singing, painting, writing, design, etc., find a hobby that you can stick to for more than 10 years, and keep cultivating. There may be no improvement in the first two years. After 5 years, you will get a huge return. After 10 years, you can put this  Do things to the extreme, surpassing the lives and achievements of 90% of your peers.

6. Action is the best way to improve your personality. You may not be able to see anything for a few days, but after a few years, your enthusiasm will spread to a certain extent, and many people will be willing to work hard with you.

7. There are four things in life that you must never do: Don't just take the easy road; Don't try to change others; Don't dare to start because you are afraid of failure; Never have a temper that is greater than your ability.

8. Don't let yourself stop for a long time. Once you get used to being comfortable, you will lose the ability to seek change and eventually become a person abandoned by the times.

9. Wealth is conserved, and the amount of money you make is positively related to the value you provide.

10. It is easy to give up, but it must be cool to persist. Fate will fail a person who works hard, but never fail a person who has been working hard. Treat yourself better, and be cruel to yourself.

11. The easy way is downhill.

12. It's not that you can't find love, but you can't hold on to love. until you think your love is not the love of your life.

13. Reading a book does not change, but if you keep reading, there will be. Reading is not for eloquence, nor for superiority, but for maintaining independent thinking and keeping a sober mind in a noisy world.

14. Adults can choose to do anything, this is your freedom. Provided that, to think clearly whether you can bear the consequences and the price.

15. True self-confidence comes from fully accepting yourself. otherwise, you will only admire the strong and despise the weak.

16. Salary is always linked to authority. Talking to the leader about salary increase is worse than increasing authority.

17. The horoscope of interpersonal communication: ignore prejudice and stay away from prejudice. People who have prejudice against you, no matter what you do or say, he will oppose you. To avoid these troubles, not explaining or arguing is the best counterattack.

18. In the face of small groups, a neutral relationship is the safest. Don't rush to stand in line, neither good nor bad to people. Because a small group formed for the purpose of isolation will inevitably split again for the purpose of isolation.

If you support him to isolate others today, tomorrow he may unite with others and begin to isolate you. This is due to human nature.

19. In the implementation stage, I am most afraid of having scruples. Just do the planned things, don't always think about it, waste time and torture yourself.

20. People with high emotional intelligence never deliberately please others, but always please themselves.

21. Never lie to yourself. It is much easier to deceive yourself than to deceive others, but it is much more difficult to wake yourself up than to wake up others.

22. The most cost-effective business is to invest in yourself. A shrewd person spends money to improve, but a foolish person only spends money to enjoy, and sit back and eat.

23. To maintain lifelong learning, don't stand still. When the times abandon you, they won't say goodbye to you. If you don't make progress, it is the biggest regression.

24. You try your best to run forward, not to change the world, but to not be abandoned by the world.

25. Be yourself. You can become someone in one day.  Everyone is born an original, don't let yourself live as a pirated version.

26. Don't pin your happiness on others. Because people will change and love will disperse. The road of life is always to be walked by yourself, no one can replace your happiness, and no one can pay for your happiness. Self-sufficient happiness will not worry about gains and losses.

27. Let go of the love that makes yourself humble. For the purpose of love, is to make yourself better, not to scar you all over.

After all, some love can be met but never sought. Those who cannot wait should not wait, and the world that cannot be squeezed in should not hold on.

28. Always keep 30% of the mystery for yourself. Only then will others see a side of you they didn't expect, and you will always bring something new to others. This rule applies to all relationships.

29. 99% of all the people you meet in your life are strangers. So, relax, you don't have that many viewers.

30. If you can't say good things, avoid bad things or shut up. I am afraid that what you say unintentionally will be deliberately interpreted by people with ulterior motives.

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The top level of self-discipline: "Never expose, but stay away, and quietly eliminate you.”

The top level of self-discipline: "Never expose, but stay away, and quietly eliminate you.”

If you don't like a person, you don't need to compete with him, and you don't need to waste your saliva for someone who is not worth it.

Don't affect your mood, be a "transparent person", hide yourself, stay away from him, and you will win. 

Yes, in the world of adults, you have to digest your grievances by yourself. You don’t need to tell your story to everyone. Few people really understand you. Most people will only laugh at you from their own standpoint.

All you can do is tolerate and become stronger and stronger step by step. Jump out of the circle that you hate, and leave people who have different views from you.

We only have more than 30,000 days, and there are very few things that are really worth paying attention to. What you really care about is your relatives, friends, and other people's criticism or appreciation.

The rest of your life is expensive, don't waste time on people you hate, the best way for adults to end a relationship is not to quarrel and collapse, but to alienate silently.

What is the difference between the thinking of the poor and the rich?

【Chapter One】

The poor are overwhelmed by feelings, looks, and relationships, and rarely think about the underlying logic.

The capitalists say, “It’s only once in a lifetime.” The poor are so worried that they save half a year’s worth of money to hold a wedding of the century.

Capitalists say, "Women should pamper themselves." Poor people are tempted, they should eat and play, and buying a bag costs a month's salary,

The capitalists say, "Diamonds are forever, and one piece will last forever." The poor think it is too true, what sincerity is there without a diamond ring? 

Sometimes I feel that the capitalist is really bad, he will say whatever you like to hear, in short, you will be full of joy when you clean up your bank account, and feel that you have not neglected yourself. Then the days pass year after year, and you have nothing left, only a room full of unused old products, a closet of discarded brand-name clothes, a few broken stones, and a piece of paper that has been repeatedly consumed by beauty salons until it is sensitive. Face.

【Chapter two】

[Change, starting from the way of thinking

1. Live fish will swim upstream, and dead fish will drift with the current.

2. When an event is considered an opportunity by everyone, it is no longer an opportunity.

3. Youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.　　

4. If you care about the people in front of you, you will lose the future.　　

5. President Roosevelt said: Be the master of time, the master of destiny, and the helmsman of the soul.　　

6. The rich make money from capital, and the poor get rich from knowledge.

7. It is unfortunate that others look down on you; it is even more unfortunate that you look down on yourself.

8. You can lose everything in the world, but you can't lose hope and confidence.

9. The wise create opportunities, the strong seize them, and the weak wait for them.

10. A person has two plots of land: one plot of land during the day is to fill his stomach, and one plot of land at night is to cultivate his own future.

11. Having nothing is a kind of wealth, which makes people take action to change their destiny.　

12. People often use books to judge unknown things, and often take wrong inferences as correct conclusions.

13. What do the poor lack? On the surface, they lack funds, but in essence they lack ambition, ideas in their minds, courage in their bones, understanding of opportunities, actions for change, and perseverance in their careers.

14. The smartest person in the world borrows the experience of other people's bad head and blood as his own experience; the most stupid person in the world uses his own bad experience as experience.

15. Only by suffering what others can't bear, enduring the anger that others can't bear, and doing things that others can't do, can you enjoy everything that others can't enjoy.

【third chapter】

Workplace: Choice is more important than change

1. Don't start easily, don't change the track easily once you start.

2. Rolling stones do not gather moss, change careers do not gather wealth, frequent switching is not recommended

So think twice before switching job every time.

3. If you really feel that the moment is not suitable, don’t stay for a second. The faster you leave the wrong place, the closer you will be to the right place.

4. Career planning is ultimately to be loyal to your heart, to your choice, to do what you like, and to work hard for it.

5. For unsuitable jobs, persuading yourself not to leave is more like persuading yourself to swallow your anger. And the work you love, persuading yourself to persevere, is to be strong for love.

6. Choose the right industry and the right position, and the whole person will devote himself to it. I asked a designer who worked on the plan all night, isn't he tired? He told me: This is my work. There are passion in the eyes.

7. Choosing a career is actually very simple: do what you can do, do what you like, and do what you are willing to work hard for.

8. Jobs said: Being overwhelmed by other people's loud opinions drowns out your true inner voice. Your intuition and heart know what you want to be.

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