Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Friday, November 22, 2024

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old


Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

Read Also:

The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

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Friday, November 1, 2024

Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

  1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

  1. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

  1. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

  1. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

  1. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

Read Also:

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Listen: Podcast

Friday, October 25, 2024

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

  1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

  1. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

  1. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

  1. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.


About Work:

  1. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
  2. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
  3. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
  4. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

  1. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
  2. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

  1. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

  1. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

  1. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
  2. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
  3. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

Read Also:

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Listen: Podcast

Friday, October 18, 2024

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Simply put: Get good sleep.

These simple four words resonate with many people. In today's fast-paced world, we're often plagued by endless work, feeling exhausted. But if we manage to have a good sleep, not only can we restore our energy and revitalize our skin, but we can also maintain a clear mind and balance our physical well-being.

Roughly one-third of our lives should be spent getting sufficient sleep. However, an increasing number of people find themselves in the dilemma of insufficient sleep, experiencing insomnia, nightmares, and difficulty falling asleep.

Some people overwork and stay up late, while others play with their phones late into the night, then rely on coffee to continue their lives with dark circles under their eyes.

The workaholics and night owls, who have damaged their health through countless late nights, ironically mock themselves for not deserving a good night's sleep.

Those who truly understand the reason know that high-quality sleep brings about high work efficiency and a better life. Sleeping well is a remedy for healing life and a great method for self-cultivation.

The prevalent culture in this era involves staying up late

Statistics show that 90% of young people's sudden deaths are closely related to staying up late. Nights spent binge-watching shows, gaming, or using late nights to console a lonely soul...

If someone accrues too much sleep debt, placing essential matters of life in a secondary position, they're destroying their health and clearly not valuing themselves.

Lack of sleep can result in the ineffective removal of waste from the cerebrospinal fluid, leading to slow reactions, irritability, and even making erroneous decisions.

Looking back at 2010, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 crashed into the Mediterranean Sea just five minutes after take-off, with no survivors. Initially suspected to be a terror attack or due to thunderstorms, the investigation revealed an unexpected truth: both pilots suffered from prolonged sleep deprivation and extreme fatigue, causing a minor mistake.

The captain flew continuously in a fatigued state for as long as 45 days prior to the flight, having only a brief rest before this flight and feeling drowsy but still forced to execute the flight. Despite strictly adhering to duty and not relaxing, a foggy consciousness made it impossible to correct errors in time.

Don't take youth for granted, and don't let your body operate beyond its capacity without concern. Regret arrives too late when the Grim Reaper appears.

If you don't value your body, how can your body value you?

Maintaining good sleep habits, going to bed and waking up early, helps you become more focused and committed to your work.

If life is a gamble, a healthy body is your winning hand.

"Your pathway to a good life lies only one step away: a good night's sleep.

There's a story I once heard:

Emily, dubbed by New York media as the "Wall Street future star," was a senior actuary. She worked diligently, displaying remarkable competence in her job. However, soon after, she suffered from severe depression, becoming emotionally unstable. Her career took a downturn, leaving her exhausted.

In many sleepless nights, she confronted her breakdown alone.

One day, Emily, feeling helpless, turned to a priest at the church, asking why she faced such anguish and torment despite her flourishing career, questioning what she might have done wrong.

The priest asked her, "What do you do every night?"

Feeling wronged, Emily replied, "I work hard."

The priest continued, "Do you give yourself time for a good night's sleep? Sufficient time to ease the negative emotions in your heart?"

Emily suddenly realized that the challenges of work are endless, and only through sufficient sleep could she replenish her energy.

Under the guidance of a doctor, she gave up her poor habit of staying up late and specifically focused on the quality and timing of deep sleep.

In just over half a year, her condition gradually improved, and her body began to recover.

We all know that sometimes our phones need to be shut down and rebooted.

If a person is not in a good state, they also need a complete sleep experience.

The comfortable life we dream of is hidden in a good night's sleep every night.

For those who can't sleep well, emotions become sensitive, making them unable to feel happiness, ultimately preventing them from truly enjoying the warmth of home.

Only with sufficient sleep and full rest can one maintain a complete memory and prevent life's rhythm from becoming chaotic.

If you've treated yourself poorly in the past, why not make a promise starting today: to sleep well.

May you fall asleep peacefully every night and wake up full of energy every day.

Only by sleeping well every night can one live a good life.

People who often stay up late have scattered thoughts. The more they want to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. Even if they do fall asleep, they easily experience light sleep and numerous dreams. Truly exceptional people won't spend too much energy and thoughts late at night, as excessive thinking only increases worries.

Regarding sleep, here are five methods to improve sleep quality:

  1. Make the most of the golden 90 minutes. This is a crucial time for rapid physical recovery, as the brain and body are in a state of deep sleep. Create a comfortable, undisturbed sleep environment before bedtime.
  2. The pillow needs to be appropriate. A familiar sleep environment is crucial to maintaining good sleep. Many people carry their accustomed pillow when traveling, as a suitable pillow offers the most comfortable sleep.
  3. Create a good sleep environment. Bedroom temperature and lighting may affect sleep, so carefully create an environment conducive to sleep. Ventilate in advance, adjust the temperature and humidity, turn off light sources when sleeping to promote melatonin secretion. Sleeping in a clean, fresh, and quiet environment will make dreams sweeter.
  4. Relax your brain and body. Thinking doesn't consume energy, so the brain remains active before sleep. It's best not to use your phone or think about the next day's tasks before sleep, allowing the brain to completely relax. Additionally, avoid strenuous exercise before sleep; some gentle exercises, such as yoga, are suitable.
  5. Be mindful of pre-sleep diet. Dinner should not be too heavy, and avoid drinking coffee or strong tea at night, as this not only reduces the gastrointestinal burden and the frequency of nocturnal awakenings but also prevents accelerated heartbeats. Drinking warm milk before sleep can make you sleep better.

Having a good night's sleep is the most important investment for adults. Health will always be the most valuable wealth. Remember, health is the 1, and wealth is the later 0. With health (1), one can achieve a lot of wealth (0); but if you lose health (1), everything goes back to zero.

The world always appreciates those who can discipline themselves to sleep. Please don't waste sleep because good sleep continuously nurtures life. Even amidst the busy life, by enhancing sleep quality, you can take more control of life's rhythm. May you fall asleep worry-free and meet each brand-new day with full vitality."

Read Also:

Early Hours, New Heights

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Friday, October 4, 2024

Truth or Tact at work

There exists a group of individuals in life who exhibit tremendous patience, obedience, yet seldom receive the fitting benefits. These individuals endure unfair treatment, refrain from refusing others' requests, and fail to actively seek their rights. Despite their efforts, they frequently find themselves unrewarded and eventually trapped in a dilemma of "the more honest you are, the more vulnerable you become." Everyone is striving at work, hoping for corresponding rewards. However, any job is far from being simple, and around 80% of life's pain usually originates from work. If you've recently felt unhappy due to work, perhaps consider changing your mindset and tell yourself: It's just work; there's no need to be too honest.

Work should be diligent and hardworking, but maintaining a student-like mindset is unnecessary.

"Because you're too obedient, sometimes what leaders fear is an overly obedient employee." This is a typical student mindset. Employees merely respond with "okay, okay, okay" and never proactively provide opinions or suggestions. Even when assigned a task, they merely address the specified points without further contemplation, akin to students fulfilling assignments by rote and command.

Nevertheless, the workplace is not like an exam, especially not a closed-book exam, and hence there's no fixed standard answer. Even if the leader raises questions, experienced professionals in the workplace often broadly seek help to provide appropriate solutions.

There's a little story about a boy attempting to lift a huge stone; his father encouraged him, saying, "As long as you put in all your effort, I believe you can lift it." The boy tried with all his strength, but the stone remained unmoved, and then he said, "I have given my all." His father responded, "You haven't given it your all; I've been here beside you, and you haven't sought help. Giving your all doesn't just mean using all your strength but also utilizing all the resources available to solve the current difficulty."

Many professionals in the workplace, like the boy lifting the stone, toil away diligently but fail to seek help. Perhaps they haven't realized they can seek help, or maybe they are unwilling to trouble others. In reality, solving any complex issue is a result of seeking assistance from various quarters.

"Social wealth is not allocated; it requires active acquisition by people." Learning to harness external support is also a skill, as an individual's solo efforts can't compare with collaborative group efforts.

Be careful not to compromise too much in everything; this behaviour may derail you at work.

Let me share a story of a former colleague. One day, he suddenly confided in me that he was dismissed from the company, which left me extremely surprised. He was a diligent and honest person, always willingly putting in extra hours at work without complaints. Colleagues often sought his help, and he never refused, always ready to be of service. Although he was terribly worn out, he never found the courage to express his dissatisfaction. He thought that his leaders would appreciate these efforts, but he never expected that despite all he did, he was eventually laid off, citing business restructuring and poor output. Before leaving, he said to me, "In the workplace, don't get too emotionally invested, or you'll end up like me." I felt sorry for him, but I suddenly understood the harsh reality of the workplace. The workplace does not favour those who are excessively honest. Many times, your troubles and grievances come from your 'I'm sorry' attitude. Such toil without accomplishment is ultimately seen as in vain. Leaders focus on results, hence dealing with matters effectively is key. Being truly responsible at work doesn't mean doing everything; it's about achieving significant success in the most crucial matters. Just like Warren Buffet's "5/25 Rule": Retain the top 5 important things and avoid doing the remaining 20 that are easily distracting, to achieve success. Less is more; knowing how to refuse is wisdom in the workplace. Excessive compromise in everything may lead you to lose yourself on the path of life. Life is short; don't let 'I'm sorry' ruin your life.

Learn to avoid self-consumption; that's the way out for honest people.

I once saw an article: A couple riding a donkey, and someone commented: 'these two are cruel, both riding on the donkey.' The wife got off, the husband rode, and the bystander said: 'The man is really selfish, making his wife walk.' So, the husband also rode the donkey, and the wife walked. But then someone speculated: 'The man is afraid of his wife, right?'

Finally, both had to walk alongside the donkey, and someone jeered: 'These two are so silly; they don't even ride the donkey!' This story is like a joke, and after reading it, you might laugh and think, 'How could people be so silly?' However, we often fall into the same trap in life, trying to please everyone.

Honest people are prone to excessive concern over these evaluations, affecting their emotions, resulting in inner turmoil. For instance, if the boss gets upset, you repeatedly replay the situation, guessing if you offended them; or when you send a message to a colleague and don't get a reply, you repeatedly think whether you said something wrong and became annoying; or feeling upset because you can't find a common topic with a colleague...

All these mental activities are actually unnecessary and should not exist. We can never please everyone. If we always measure ourselves against others' standards, we won't find the right path. To live a more relaxed life, cultivate a mindset that resists self-consumption and maintains inner stability. Though praise from others is good, excessive attention to criticism is unnecessary.

The 5 “balls” of life

Each of us juggles five "balls" in our lives: family, work, health, friends, and the soul. Among these five "balls," only work is made of rubber, it can be damaged and still bounce back. The other four "balls" are made of glass, once broken, they cannot be restored. If we make work the sole meaning of life, not only will it be dull, but it will also be futile.

It is because work is just a part of life, not all of it. Those who focus too much on work might lose some joy.

Remember, the purpose of work is to support life, not to burden it. Work is just a role; don't take it too seriously."

Read Also:

The Relaxed Journey

Listen: Podcast

Friday, September 27, 2024

The Relaxed Journey

Truly outstanding individuals never rush. They understand that success is not an overnight affair; it requires gradual progress and patient cultivation. Therefore, being down-to-earth, making steady progress, and ultimately becoming victorious is the mark of wisdom. Progressing slowly is a demonstration of wisdom. Those who don't rush are closer to success.

The more you seek immediate success, the more prone you are to anxiety.

Have you ever experienced this? You've been learning a new skill for a month without visible progress, causing you to doubt your adaptability. Or maybe you've been trying hard to lose weight for a week with no visible change in your weight, leading to a loss of motivation to continue. Or at the beginning of reading a book, you found it hard to comprehend, so you abandoned it. We always desire to see results quickly, but often give up midway, interrupting our path towards our goals. This results in anxiety and inner conflict, feeling time is unfair and becoming restless. Many times, impatience is unproductive.

For instance, I have a friend who graduated in design. Just three months into his first job, his designed products didn't receive approval from his boss, so he immediately resigned and switched companies. In his second job, after working for half a year, he felt a lack of achievement and earning potential in the design field, so he transitioned to sales. But a few months later, seeing his colleagues excelling in sales, he believed he wasn’t suited for sales. Now, he's shifted to administrative work and started feeling anxious about whether he's fit...

In fact, his professional abilities are strong; the problem isn't his competence but rather his impatient eagerness to achieve success and recognition. His colleagues who joined the company around the same time, with similar skills, have already made achievements. "The Analects" stated, "Haste makes waste; focusing only on small immediate benefits might lead to failure in significant matters." Impatience does not ensure smooth success; it might lead to issues.

Instead of hastily seeking outcomes and frequently giving up, it's better to adjust your pace and maintain patience and persistence. "Things and people in the world have their own time to develop. We need to keep improving ourselves and quietly wait for the opportunity to come." It takes ten years to grow trees but a hundred years to cultivate a person. Stability and patience, not impatience, are the keys to achieving something and becoming an outstanding individual.

Walking far is better than Walking Fast

Walking fast does not necessarily mean victory; real winners are those who can go far. I know a friend who never ranked within the top 20 of the class from elementary school to college, making him a typical late starter. He took the college entrance examination three times and, he says, luckily got into a good University.

Even in university, he never managed to rank among the top 40 students in his class. Even at graduation, he was still among the lowest performers. However, he persevered and never gave up.

During the graduation ceremony, he said, "Although my grades lag behind my classmates, rest assured, I won't give up, and I'll continue to strive." At the age of 31, he established his own company, and several of his former classmates, who had better grades than him, became his employees.

I really like a saying: "Life’s pursuit doesn’t begin with the starting point, but with the final reaching point." Life is a long-distance race, and most people, due to impatience, can't persist, even though they might have initially led. Yet those who persist, never give up, and embrace a long-term view, with the accumulation of time, eventually find success.

We’ve all heard the story of "The Tortoise and the Hare," with the turtle emerging victorious. Similarly, in life, the ultimate winners are often not those who start the fastest but those who can persist till the end.

"Life is like a marathon; the winner isn't the one who starts the fastest." Life is lengthy, and initial advantages need not boast, similarly, initial failures need not cause too much anxiety. Present success or failure does not represent the final outcome. It's by persisting, never giving up, that genuine success is harvested. Often, not rushing and walking slowly actually leads to a quicker achievement of the goal.

Seeking quick success does not lead to success; it's the steady and sure steps that lead to long distances. Slow progress will take you farther.

Truly Outstanding Individuals Understand Perseverance

Amazon's CEO once asked Warren Buffett, "Your investment philosophy is very simple, why others don’t imitate your approach?" Buffett replied, "Because most people are not willing to slowly accumulate wealth." Many are eager to achieve and hope to become millionaires overnight, yet the more they rush to get rich, the less successful they often become.

"What you accomplish in 5 years, I will do in 10; what you do in 10, I will do in 20. And if that's not enough, I will maintain my health and happiness until I'm 80, then come back to do it after seeing each of you off." Successful individuals understand the patience of continuous cultivation, steadily building strength and constantly reinforcing themselves.

Hence, there is no such thing as an "instantly successful" life; it is simply the result of long-term accumulation. They invest more time, work harder than others do.

No one can easily achieve success. Behind every brilliant achievement lies years of perseverance and tireless efforts. Only through a decade of careful honing can one create a sword that echoes throughout the realm. Those who truly put in the hard work and maintain continuous effort are the victors in life.

"If you want instant returns, do odd jobs;

If you expect income every month, be a wage earner;

Having patience for annual returns is for professional managers;

Waiting patiently for three to five years is for investors;

Only by evaluating life from a lifetime perspective makes one a winner in life."

In any era, the ultimate victors are those who can endure loneliness and weather the lows.

May you find your path in the coming years, proceed calmly, stay grounded, and take one step at a time, ultimately reaping bountiful rewards.

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Friday, September 6, 2024

Life's Creditors: We Owe Three People Throughout our lives

In our lifetime, we'll meet many people. Some whom we approach sincerely might disappoint us, while others may invest their whole hearts, but we remain indifferent. People long for their efforts to be respected and their sincerity reciprocated. Each encounter we experience essentially is predetermined.

Fate brings people together; without fate, even being close won't make you close, but with it, you can feel connected even if separated by thousands of miles.

If no debts existed, how would there be encounters? Indeed, meetings between individuals are predestined. In our future lives, these three types of relationships must be remembered and cherished because once lost, they cannot be regained.

The Greatest Act is the Unrewarded Act of Bringing Up

Firstly, we must remember our parents' act of bringing up. As the saying goes, "The grace of giving birth and raising you is greater than the sky." This grace is impossible to repay in one's lifetime. From our birth to growing up, our parents have been meticulous in their care for us, something we owe them for our entire lives.

There's a story that goes: An old man went to a cellphone repair shop to check what was wrong with his phone. The technician couldn't find any issue and told the old man his phone was fine. The old man, upon hearing this, burst into tears, "If the phone is fine, then why doesn't my child call me?" This story deeply touches my heart.

As we grow older, we often forget our parents. In the hustle and bustle of work, we tend to overlook them, sometimes not calling for a long time. Yet, our parents are always concerned about us. Even when you're away from home, they always keep their phones close, volume turned up high, afraid to miss your call. Despite understanding our busy lives, they choose to quietly wait. When the call finally arrives, they want to convey their longing for us but still inquire about our well-being, and that's enough for them.

Did you know? Their expression of happiness without reporting their worries is only surface-level. Once the call ends, they can't control their emotions, and tears flow because they miss us immensely.

"The term 'parents' refers to those who, looking at your back, are always filled with joy and sadness, wanting to embrace you but are afraid to show it."

As time passes and we grow wiser, the bond with our parents begins to fade. While they're still around, give them a call, visit home more often, and don’t wait until it's too late to feel remorseful about the missed opportunities.

Mutual Care, Love that Never Gives Up

Are you like me, not envy couples kissing on the streets but rather admire the elderly holding hands while strolling at dusk?

Many people believe that love is easy to come by but hard to sustain in the long run. However, I've always believed that a wonderful relationship nurtures an individual, making both people even better.

I have a friend who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for ten years. When she decided to start her own business, she had to be in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. I asked her if she was worried about the stability of their relationship.

She said, "We've been together for so long, not only relying on each other but also supporting each other. He supports my decisions, and at the same time, I consider our future together. We cherish each other, and that's what makes our relationship enduring."

Indeed, only through cherishing can a relationship endure.

In relationships, companionship is the most enduring form of declaration of love. Parents may pass away first, children might have their own families, but the right person will accompany you through life's ups and downs and share the trivialities of daily life with you.

Love doesn't require grand gestures, but you must understand and cherish those who quietly accompany you, especially your significant other. In any relationship, there are mutual sacrifices. Moderate sacrifice is love, but excessive sacrifice can become dangerous.

Responses foster communication, and cherishing is what makes love last. Never assume that any contribution is taken for granted. In the long passage of time, cherish the one who has always been by your side.

The Helping Hand in times of trouble

There's a saying: "Life doesn't always go as planned, eight or nine times out of ten." Everyone goes through times of disappointment and destitution, but not everyone is fortunate enough to be helped by others.

Only time can verify a person's sincerity. Those who unhesitatingly support you in your most difficult moments, those who accompany you through your adversities, are the people most deserving of your gratitude and appreciation.

There's a story about a pair of good friends—an average-sized person and an overweight person. These friends had known each other for many years, always assisting each other, and passing through many difficult moments together.

One day, the overweight friend asked the average-sized one, "Why have you always wanted to be friends with me?" The average-sized friend replied, "In the past, others used to bully me because I was weak and thin. Only you were willing to protect me. Then, when I faced difficulties in my business, everyone else avoided me, but you were the only one willing to lend me money. Although you are a bit stingy, straightforward, and sometimes say hurtful things, I still feel that being friends with you is wonderful."

The most challenging people to encounter in life are those who help you in your times of trouble, who are willing to help you through tough times, and treat you sincerely. Because everyone is willing to share joy, but not everyone can have the friendship that offers help in difficult times.

Perhaps only through experiencing adversity can one truly see who is sincere and who is not. For those who genuinely treat you well, always hold a heart of gratitude. The way to repay is beyond measure; this kind of friendship is both rare and precious.

"In this world, when you meet someone who treats you sincerely remain a few." Therefore, those who ultimately remain by your side are the most precious. Only through cherishing will the path of life become brighter.

Even the most vigorous campfire, without added wood, will gradually die out. Similarly, even two deeply loving individuals, if they don't cherish each other, can become strangers.

When care diminishes, the relations become distant. As the relations become distant, emotions fade. Once the emotions fade, it's impossible to return to the past. May you learn to be grateful in your remaining years, thanking every person who has helped you.

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Friday, August 30, 2024

Life is Like Watching Drama

"In our stages of growth, we long to see comedies, full of hope for a joyful life. As we step into our youth, we lean more toward tragedies to refine our fragile souls. Moving into middle age, we prefer to watch tragicomedies, seeking happiness from sadness and seeking pleasure in hardship. By the time we reach old age, we prefer to watch silent dramas, understanding the profound meaning of life in quiet silence."

This idea resonates deeply, as each stage of life has its own dramatic theme, with every act presenting a unique storyline.

Watching Comedies in Childhood

"Retain a childlike heart and nurture interests. A child's life is full of interests. They play, seek pleasure, wholeheartedly immerse themselves, and strive for joy."

Childhood is the opening chapter of our lives, the most carefree time when all children need to do is grow and embrace the promising future awaiting them.

I have a friend whose son has just entered middle school. Despite the increasing academic workload, his child is always optimistic and often wears a cheerful smile.

From a young age until now, his child has lived a remarkably happy life. Apart from the affectionate companionship of his parents, his grandparents also provide meticulous care.

The child particularly enjoys assembling LEGO toys. On Children's Day, Christmas, and his birthday, my friend gift him the LEGO sets he desires, allowing him to focus on assembling them.

He also has a fondness for reading, especially history books. My friend tries to buy suitable history books for him, expanding his knowledge.

Every weekend or holiday, his family goes out to explore, whether it's to a nearby park or as far as climbing the Great Wall in Beijing, continuously broadening his horizons.

Although occasionally faced with unpleasant incidents, the child quickly adjusts his emotions because he understands that his parents are his strongest support.

In the most wonderful stage of childhood, surrounded by a parent's love, a child growing up in such a warm environment is like a comedy filled with happiness, exuding an atmosphere of joy everywhere.

The stage of growth before eighteen is a vital part of every individual's life foundation. A child who grows up joyfully will have more confidence in the future.

The future belongs to every child, especially to those who remain optimistic and cheerful. Allowing a child to grow up in happiness is life's greatest blessing.

Watching Tragedies in Youth

Coming of age at eighteen signifies bearing more life responsibilities, which is the same for everyone. After experiencing various hardships, many young people may come to understand that the most crucial aspect of life is to temper one's inner strength through continuous trials. During the college entrance examination season, some kids tear up with excitement upon performing well, while those who don't fare as expected huddle in a corner, crying desolately. I came across a post from a netizen who said that he would never forget the moment years ago when the exam scores came out. He felt like there was no hope left in his life. His score was below the undergraduate admission threshold, which made him feel hopeless. He had to study in a college outside the province in a field he did not prefer. However, his determination allowed him to complete the three-year college program and eventually successfully transfer to a four-year program. Two years ago, he was admitted to graduate school back in his province. Reflecting on this experience, he expressed, "I thought my life was destined a certain way, but only after going through it did I realize that even in the most difficult moments, life still holds infinite possibilities as long as one doesn't give up." Approaching his graduation from graduate school, regardless of how easy or difficult it is to secure a job, he won't feel fearful because reality has made him much stronger. There's a saying, "If youth's years are wasted in vain, memories will be a tragic desolation." Nobody wishes their life to be a hopeless tragedy, but we may have to experience some disappointing events. Don't retreat or be pessimistic; every challenge in life actually contributes to the depth of our existence.

Watching Tragicomedies in Middle Age

The charm of middle age lies in understanding life and oneself, thus doing what one can and enjoying what life offers. Having experienced a myriad of life's joys and sorrows, those who have lived half a lifetime gradually come to understand themselves and life. Regardless of the immense sorrow or joy they feel, they can face them with more equanimity. In the halfway journey of life, we gradually learn to be indifferent since life involves both sorrow and joy. Middle age serves as the stage connecting youth and old age. Those who reach this stage may find themselves able to calmly face everything because that is part of the process of growth.

Watching Silent Plays in Old Age

As one enters old age, some individuals may no longer possess the fervour for struggle, only the gratitude for being fortunate to live through a day peacefully. However, this phase is not meant to be an idle remainder of life. Instead, it's an opportunity to draw experience from the past, comprehend the true essence of life, and ensure that the future years are more fulfilling and clear.

"Only through hardships can one gain a profound understanding of life, broadening the inner world; this is the key to happiness." Everyone wishes for a smooth life but can't avoid experiencing unfavourable situations and difficulties. Just as life experiences different storylines through its four stages, it includes both joy and sorrow, as well as commotion and tranquillity. Regardless of the stage one is in, what's crucial is living each stage marvellously, enabling a more insightful and freer way of living.

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Friday, August 23, 2024

Everyone Encounters Adversity


I've read a saying: "When we open our arms, we might have nothing, yet it feels like we have the whole world." A person's way of thinking directly influences the course of life. "Destiny depends on personal efforts, appearance reflects the inner self, the environment changes according to the mindset, and being tolerant towards others is most crucial." The world and environment remain the same, but the path we take depends on our attitude, not merely the situations we face. Similarly, interpersonal relationships depend on how you handle them, as other people's attitudes toward you depend on your response.

Mutual Assistance, Walking Hand in Hand towards a Better Future

People with a broad vision appreciate the strengths of others, offering a helping hand when someone needs it, and collaborating with others in times of need. Conversely, those with narrow perspectives often envy others' success and even take advantage of their difficulties. The former gains a good reputation, expanding their network of interpersonal relationships, while the latter lacks connections and heads down a narrowing path. Truly strong individuals appreciate others, assisting in their success. They understand the concept of win-win situations, value cooperation, and treat others sincerely and responsibly. Such individuals not only help others but continuously enhance their own outstanding qualities.

The Least Wise Behaviour Among Humans is Mutual Bullying

Quality individuals assist one another, average individuals tend to ostracize each other, and lower-level individuals tend to trample on each other. The most foolish behaviour is "people stepping on people." Mocking each other, resisting each other, and resenting others' success only leads to one's further despondency and more trouble. "If one loves others, they will often be loved in return; if one respects others, they will also be frequently respected." Effort inevitably yields returns, and assisting others will also result in reciprocal rewards. When dealing with anyone, do not dwell on too many considerations. Your perspective influences your attitude, and your outlook influences your future. When you treat others with a heart of compassion, you're essentially sowing good deeds for yourself. The people you treat well will reciprocate the same to you.

Good Intentions Towards Others Will Ultimately Reward Yourself

Kind-hearted people will receive blessings from heaven. By offering kindness and assistance to others, you'll eventually receive it yourself. When you help and genuinely treat others with sincerity, you'll attract like-minded individuals, make new friends, and support each other in times of hardship. A person's life is not a solitary journey; each step leaves a mark. If you calculate and exploit others, they won't be willing to facilitate you! Interpersonal relationships are mutual, emotions are reciprocal, and while sincere contributions and good behavior may seem beneficial to others, the actual benefit always accrues to oneself. Treating others with kindness results in them reciprocating the same. When you extend a helping hand to others in need, they will also guide you when you're lost. Life is like a sowing process, and the harvest is closely linked to your efforts. Remember at all times: kindness is the right path in life, and treating others sincerely is an act worthy of pride.

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Friday, August 16, 2024

The Most Painful Awakening in Middle Age

In our youth, we often sought external experiences, having an abundance of courage but a lack of consideration. As we gradually step into middle age and navigate life's ups and downs, our understanding of life becomes deeper, and our inner selves mature. It's then that we begin to gradually realize: the essence of life lies in awareness. Only through continuous introspection can we comprehend what truly matters, distinguish between the trivial and significant, and learn to let go of gains and losses, paving the way for a better life.

The most profound realization in middle age is that: being with people who resonate with your frequency is the best nourishment for life.

In our younger years, we often searched for external connections, brimming with courage but lacking thoughtful consideration. With the passing of time and the experience of life's trials and tribulations, we gain a deeper understanding of life, nurturing a more mature outlook. We slowly come to understand that the key to life is awakening. Only through sustained self-reflection can we see the importance of things, learn to disregard the trivial, and open the door to a better life.

After middle age, the understanding becomes clear: being with individuals who share the same wavelength as you is the best life nourishment. We may have sought to expand our social circles in our youth, wishing to meet more people. But as we look back in middle age, we realize that only a few people truly stay in our lives. This realization dawns upon us, that it's unnecessary to allow too many people into our lives. Those whose frequencies differ from ours gradually fade away in the passage of time. Being with people who resonate with us ensures a pleasant and enduring companionship, allowing for a lifetime together.

"Finding one or two kindred spirits is enough, no need for too many. The value of friendship lies in that candid trust." Although in middle age, it's fortunate to have many people around, it's more important to have one or two friends who resonate with you. They understand your silence and unspoken thoughts. Being with such friends can provide relaxation for your soul.

Health is the Greatest Asset

People often ask: when they reach middle age, working overtime daily to pay off a mortgage, they find themselves with stiff neck and stooped posture. They start questioning if all they gained at the expense of their health is truly worth it. Among the most common responses is: any wealth obtained at the cost of health is ultimately not worth it in the long run.

This is because health is the most precious asset. In the brief span of these few decades of life, whether one accumulates wealth or faces destitution, it's all fleeting. When you notice warning signs from your body, minor conditions can be remedied and treated. However, severe patients have no chance of recovery. Even if you can hire top doctors, visit the best hospitals, and pay the highest medical fees, it may not save you.

 As a proverb says: If you don't have time to rest, you'll eventually have time to fall ill. The overexertion of your health will eventually rebound with an equal cost. In the latter part of life, maintaining a regular schedule, balancing work and rest, avoiding late nights, reducing anger, and staying active through exercise are the best way to care for your life.

Family Harmony is the Greatest Blessing

 "In our youth, the world seemed to be full of people, and everything seemed related to us. But as we step into middle age, we discover that apart from our family, we have nothing." With age, our concept of "home" gradually becomes clearer. Even if someone possesses great wealth and status, a life filled with constant family quarrels isn't worth envying. Among family members, disagreements are inevitable. If we insist on being right at all costs, even if we win the argument, we might lose the bond, leading to our own unhappiness. Overlooking the minor issues brings warmth and laughter into life, a wealth that money cannot buy.

Realization in Middle Age: Detachment is the Best Attitude in the Latter Half of Life Life is a long journey. The more we carry, the more burdensome it becomes. Simplify to the minimum, and simplicity will conquer complexity. Only by abandoning certain things can we move forward easily. Many unfortunate people are unable to control their desires and insatiable greed and carry more and more burden. In middle age, we need to learn to declutter life. When you start to simplify your life, you'll alleviate the weight on your mind and grasp the true essence of happiness.

Reading is the Best Pastime

In reality, middle age is the most suitable time for reading. In youth, the idea was often ingrained that "read well so you can have a good future and a good job." Read books that aren't enjoyable but deemed essential. In middle age, reading becomes purer, devoid of ulterior motives. At this time, simply reading books you like can add flavour to life. Amidst the nine-to-six routine and family responsibilities, reading allows you to experience and feel different lives. As said in "Game of Thrones": "A reader lives a thousand lives, while the non-reader lives only one." Middle-aged reading guides them to find solutions amid life's perplexities, constantly sweeping away the dust from the soul.

Pleasing Oneself is More Important than Anything

In youth, to fit in, people often drift away from themselves to please others. However, relationships aren't built on pleasing others. The more you try to please others, the easier it becomes to lose yourself, making relationships more fragile.

Whose preferences matter more: others' liking or your own? Your affection for yourself is more significant. By middle age, people realize that they've often overlooked themselves, the most crucial person to please. Pleasing others is what everyone seeks, but pleasing yourself is the real path. A person's genuine charm doesn't come from pleasing others but from authentic living. In the second half of life, let's learn to live for ourselves, embody our true likings, and create the life we desire.

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Friday, August 9, 2024

The Most Comfortable Relationship Is When You Can Talk "Nonsense"

"Being comfortable refers to being able to chat about any topic, and the other person can keep up with the conversation. This is not because the other person is extensively knowledgeable, but because they are extremely interested in the topic." Even if it's the kind of time-wasting nonsense. A psychological study suggests: If a person's conversation consists of more than 90% nonsense, that person tends to feel happier. If nonsense accounts for less than 50%, that person is less likely to feel joy. The former exhibits more talkativeness and a happy smile, while the latter appears gloomy and despondent. Superficially, nonsense seems like the poison of wasting time, but the small moments of happiness in life are composed of nonsense. Maybe it's the mundane things couples talk about before sleeping; perhaps it's lovers expressing affection; perhaps it's friends chatting casually; or maybe it's the repetitive advice from parents. They might seem to lack substance, seemingly not very helpful in life. Sometimes, it might even make the listener feel annoyed, but without these conversations, life might become dull and uninteresting.

My friend often says his wife talks too much, and he can't enjoy peace when she's around.

When he's watching TV, his wife complains about his lack of household chores; when he's reading, she talks about neighbourhood gossip; when he wants to rest, she suddenly brings up their child's psychological issues. He mentions that he doesn't mind his wife's chatter but it's just that she can't get to the point every time, often being verbose and lengthy, and he can't stop her.

Once, due to a verbal dispute, his wife was very upset. After that, she became indifferent to him and vowed not to talk nonsense with him again: "Do you think I talk too much and must talk to you? Fine, I won't talk nonsense with you anymore. Let's see when you'll apologize to me!" Initially, the listener was very pleased not to have to listen to his wife's chatter anymore. But after three days, he began to feel stifled inside.

Between them, there was no silence, but his wife no longer talked as much as before. It was then that he realized his wife has a certain degree of restraint when speaking. If she doesn't want to talk, she won't say more than necessary.

Sometimes, he suddenly wanted to talk about trivial things, and his wife responded, "Don't talk nonsense!" Three days later, he apologized to his wife. I asked if he wasn't used to it. He said, "It's a bit unusual, but most importantly, I found that I quite enjoy listening to my wife's chatter. When I come home after work in the evening and listen to her talk, I relax a lot. Instead, the house is quiet, making me feel empty inside. Besides, I am her closest person. If she doesn't talk nonsense with me, who will she talk to?"

After experiencing it, you will find that having someone around with whom you can chat freely, without worrying about saying the wrong thing or talking nonsense, and without the fear of interrupting your rest, is a form of happiness. Chatter is a kind of love, and nonsense is a kind of joy. The most comfortable relationship is just like this.

With maturity, you realize that speaking is no longer easy, and talking "nonsense" is a luxury. Not everyone is willing to spend time listening to you, nor does everyone have the patience to chat with you. Efficiency is required at work, clear and concise is the best approach; in social interactions, talking too much may annoy some, leading them to make excuses to leave or directly point out your verbosity. Even with close friends, not everything can be spoken casually. Perhaps it's the fear of touching on sensitive topics, transmitting negativity, or the worry that speaking too much will lead to silent judgment, even though everything appears amicable.

The more mature you become, the more silent you may seem. Those who understand and listen to your nonsense are the real fortune. Have you ever experienced feeling troubled and unable to find someone to confide in, even hesitating to vent in social circles for fear of being labelled overdramatic? Many words that you want to express must be suppressed within, leading to increasing discomfort. People crave expression, and the root cause of much repression is the inability to find someone to confide in.

I asked a friend, "When do you feel most comfortable in life?" She said, "It's when chatting gossip with my close friend, saying some nonsense." When asked why, she replied that she couldn't explain but just felt that at that moment, all the pressure adults face disappears. Even if it's temporary, it genuinely brings happiness and relaxation.

Some say only children can sit and stare at the sunset for an entire afternoon, while adults can only hurriedly glance at the moon in the sky. However, within every adult resides a child who also craves those moments of joy and happiness?

Modern society compels us to constantly be time-conscious. Work, studies, life, all of these are crucial. Despite our hard work, life always requires some time for relaxation. Having a relationship where you can talk nonsense might be the most comfortable and happiest thing.

In truth, you don’t need to open up to everyone, nor will many genuinely resonate with you. You only need someone with whom you can talk nonsense, whether a friend, a family member, or a partner. They can provide you with a breathing space amidst your busy schedule, help you relax when coming home after work, and grant you the freedom to release pent-up emotions.

"Happiness might just be finding someone willing to listen to your nonsense." If you encounter such a person, please cherish them.

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