Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Friday, January 24, 2025

Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

You've probably heard the saying that all efforts in life result in either being laughed at or being effective. The ultimate outcome depends on how you manage things. Over the past few years, there have been increasing stories about interpersonal relationships. Some relationships, when managed well, become lifelong friendships; others, when mishandled, become the subject of ridicule.

When it comes to interacting with others, what principles should we adhere to? What boundaries should we maintain? Here are a few key points that we mustn't overlook:

1. Ignore Unnotified Events:

Be smart about it. Regardless of what's happening in someone else's family, if they haven't informed you, just pretend you don't know. And afterward, don't inquire about it either. Why?

A friend once shared a story. When he was young, he used to mingle in circles whether or not he was invited. He'd eagerly join friends for dinners or family gatherings, whether formally invited or not. One time, he happened to run into some friends who were quietly planning a barbecue. They didn't intend to make a big deal out of it, but he tagged along anyway. "I still remember the looks on their faces when they saw me. The table fell silent. They looked at me in surprise, and I innocently looked back at them." 

That meal was excruciatingly uncomfortable for him. He sensed that the people around him had something they wanted to say. But upon seeing him, they chose polite smiles instead.

That experience made him realize: in interpersonal relationships, if someone doesn't inform you about an event, it means either you're not close enough or you shouldn't be attending that gathering. If you attend out of mere curiosity, you'll end up not only embarrassing yourself but also the host.

Of course, there's one exception to this social principle, as we often say: "Attend joyous events (weddings) only when invited; attend non-joyous events (funerals) even when not invited."

The most crucial aspect of interpersonal relationships is knowing when to attend which events, and when not to. That's the discretion expected of an adult. Remember, a smart person's strength lies in their intellect. Often, controlling the situation also means understanding the boundaries and limits of interpersonal relationships.

2. Refrain from Arguing:

Different perspectives don't always necessitate debate. Have you ever wondered what it's like to communicate with someone who lacks understanding? Someone answered that communicating with such a person is distinctively tiresome because they want to argue against every word you say.

Their mantra is, "No, that's not it!" You might think they'll bring new insights, but upon closer examination, you realize they're just paraphrasing what you've said or arguing for the sake of it, lacking substantial evidence. 

Some people have "refutational personalities." They share a common trait: no matter how logical your argument, they'll oppose it with a few counterarguments. "No, that's not it!" is their eternal opening line. The most effective way to deal with them is to swiftly end the conversation when they start arguing.

Remember: it's wise to speak less in different positions. With differing understandings, it's best to avoid arguments altogether. Effortlessly restraining the urge to argue ensures a sense of propriety in interpersonal relationships.

3. Moderate Enthusiasm for New Acquaintances:

Instantly revealing your inner thoughts to someone is far from ideal. Innocence is a virtue, but in today's world, it's often mistaken for a lack of decorum. We can express ourselves appropriately, but remember not to overdo it.

One friend had a very outgoing personality and was very warm towards everyone she met. People around her liked her and saw her as a ray of sunshine. However, such relationships didn't last long; it was rumored that she had fallen out with those around her.

The reason lay solely in her talkativeness. She never paid attention to the closeness of relationships while conversing. Whether with strangers or close friends, she would chatter endlessly whenever she met someone. Whether discussing her family's affairs or friends' private matters, she would talk non-stop. Little did she know, such behavior would make listeners feel pressured or insecure. Over time, those around her gradually realized that to avoid becoming the subject of gossip, the best thing to do was to keep their distance from her. Consequently, fewer and fewer people were willing to be her friends.

In social interactions, "oversharing" has always been a major taboo. Sometimes what you perceive as genuine might be viewed as low emotional intelligence by others. Remember, between individuals, there are many topics that can only be discussed with specific individuals. Don't reveal too much too soon just because you feel a connection. And never bare your soul just because you're feeling impulsive.

Smart individuals understand that with new acquaintances, it's fine to talk about the weather, movies, or celebrities. But refrain from discussing yourself or others' private matters.

The art of getting along isn't about instantly becoming bosom buddies. It's about understanding the limits of social interaction, gradually deepening connections, which ultimately fosters better relationships.

4. Avoid Making Decisions for Others:

Have you encountered people like this in your life? They're domineering and always love giving advice to others. It's fine if they're capable. But if their advice isn't genuinely helpful due to their lack of competence, it could hasten the breakdown of relationships.

I once watched a video. A girl went to her best friend's house to vent, complaining about how difficult her job was. She felt like her boss was deliberately making things hard for her, giving her all the dirty and tiring work, but come bonus time, she got nothing. "I don't want to do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I want to quit," she lamented.

Listening to the girl's endless grievances, her best friend joined in the complaining, saying that if things were that bad, she should quit and assured her, "Don't worry, resign. I have a friend whose company is currently short of people; I'll recommend you." The girl perked up at the suggestion, ignoring the specifics of the job her friend recommended, and resigned the next day.

However, the available position didn't match her work experience; the clerical job she was qualified for had already been filled, leaving only a receptionist vacancy. Pressured by next month's rent and credit card bills, she reluctantly accepted the job. Barely two weeks into the job, she went back to her friend to complain, tinged with accusation: "Look at the job you recommended. It's just making tea, handling deliveries every day!" "It's worse than my previous job!"

In a few words, her friend's heart sank, and their once amicable friendship was ruined. One golden rule of social relationships is this: never make decisions for others for free. While you might think, "What's wrong with helping a good friend?" in their eyes, from the moment you utter those words, you're fully responsible for that decision. If your decision doesn't improve their situation, you become the culprit.

Remember, we can never truly empathize with someone else's situation, nor can we feel their current emotions. Making decisions for others without their consent is an overstep. In the end, it's likely to do more harm than good. If it succeeds, the other person might not even remember you; if it fails, you're definitely at fault.

Why bother?

Human interactions inevitably have many passionate moments. But the more passionate the moment, the more critical it is to understand that no matter how much you want to connect with the other person at that moment, you must keep a cool head. This isn't just self-preservation; it's fundamental to how we navigate the world. Of course, after all this discussion, it doesn't mean I'm suggesting you should stop socializing altogether.

"Socializing" is merely a tool. When used effectively, everyone benefits, and you can achieve a lot with a little. So, don't worry about complex rules, and don't fear difficult situations. Although humans are insignificant, they can learn, improve themselves, and grow. The value of humanity lies within itself. Life is a journey, with each step revealing new scenery and insights.

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Unlocking Likability: The Strategy of Indifference

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Friday, January 17, 2025

Unlocking Likability: The Strategy of Indifference

Each of us comes into this world hoping for a happy and fulfilling life. But life is often not as we wish, leaving us filled with fantasies. Reality and dreams are usually opposite; otherwise, they wouldn't be dreams.

As social animals, we rely on connections with different groups of people to maintain a normal life. Communication between people inevitably brings some friction, which is the basis of interpersonal relationship problems. Just as people like money, perhaps no one can replace money as something everyone likes.

It's unnecessary to always maintain enthusiasm; showing occasional indifference can be better.

Humans are emotional beings, and everyone has their own moods. We often see people around us who sacrifice themselves to please others. Perhaps we are such people ourselves, sacrificing ourselves for others at the expense of our own well-being. Many people have encountered such situations. For example, after a busy day at work, when you're already exhausted, your siblings come to you to pour out their hearts. They come seeking solace because they're upset, feeling uncomfortable inside.

And what about you?

You've already had enough grievances during the day and wanted to take some time to relax, but now you have to listen to their grievances, making yourself even more impatient. You haven't even processed your own emotions yet, but you end up helping others digest theirs, which can leave you feeling exhausted.

At a gathering, some people have already had enough to drink and shouldn't drink more, but under the encouragement of some friends, they end up toasting again. Being already drunk, they continue drinking, causing greater harm to their bodies.

People should have moments of enthusiasm, but they should also have moments of indifference; this is the normal range of human emotions. Some might argue that they see certain individuals who seem emotionally stable. So-called emotional stability is just a facade; they manage their negative emotions through other means, which only they know, and most people can't see their negative emotions.

This is a simple form of emotional management, so maintaining occasional indifference, not trying to please everyone, is essential for a good life.

Learning to ignore everyone's expectations can reduce harm.

Nobody is perfect; imperfection is the essence of life.

When a person tries to meet everyone's expectations, they end up living in great pain. For example, if you try to meet the goals set by your parents, the tasks assigned by your teachers, and the expectations of your friends, it becomes overwhelming. When you have too much on your mind, pursuing perfection, you find yourself with no time for yourself, ultimately sinking into misery. When your self-worth depends on others' approval, every look, action, or word from them may be interpreted as, "Do they not like me?" "Am I being too childish?" "Their tone doesn't sound pleased; are they unhappy with me?" Even without doing anything, you feel "emotionally exhausted" because you've acted in countless internal dramas but still can't genuinely believe in yourself.

There's a psychological term called FOPO (the fear of other people's opinions): being trapped by others' evaluations. Often, for the sake of reputation, we try to leave a good impression on others, constantly forcing ourselves to stick to our current positions. To not disappoint others' expectations, we continually push ourselves to grow quickly, to live up to the image others admire, leaving ourselves battered and bruised.

When we learn to be indifferent, others will reduce their expectations of us, and we won't carry as much pressure. In this world, no matter what you do, there will be different opinions swirling around you. So why not be the most authentic version of yourself and find a bit more happiness?

Indulging in internal conflicts is being irresponsible to oneself.

Under the control of vanity, everyone likes to present their best side to others. We get used to considering others and end up enduring pain ourselves. Little do we know, truly social individuals understand that learning to be appropriately indifferent is the key to real liberation.

I have a friend who is a supervisor at a company; he's usually warm, but sometimes seems cold and unfeeling. One time during dinner, in a lively atmosphere with food and drink, he mentioned that this was his basic principle for dealing with people every day.

In his previous job as a supervisor, his warmth often led to most tasks being left unfinished, burdening himself as his subordinates did nothing. When he came to his current company, he realized his past mistakes and adopted new social skills. He doesn't let his warmth be limitless, nor does he become a cold-hearted machine. Therefore, occasional indifference is a more balanced approach to life and work.

In conclusion, everyone likes to be appreciated and liked by others, which requires us to master certain interpersonal skills. Indirect indifference can win more affection from others. This is similar to relationships; using the same dating routine and attitude for too long can lead to boredom. Only by constantly creating a sense of freshness can love be sustained for a longer time.

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Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths

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Friday, January 10, 2025

Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths

There's a saying: "Time never speaks, yet it answers all questions." 

Time can dilute everything, yet also prove everything. Time never fails those who strive hard; with every test in life, it gradually reveals the best answers to you.

When we suddenly look back, we often can't help but feel sentimental. It's as if just a moment ago, the fragrance of flowers filled the air, but in the blink of an eye, it's already a mound of fallen petals in the passage of time.

We often exclaim, "Time passes too quickly" or "Time passes so slowly," but when has time ever changed even a bit? It never hurries nor slows, neither mourns nor rejoices; it quietly slips away. The so-called "fast" and "slow" are merely due to our different circumstances and moods, leading to different perceptions of time.

"Life is a mixture of mud and sand, with flowers and thorns coexisting." Whose life sails smoothly? Whose life isn't beset by storms and mud? Time never stops, so give time some time, and everything will pass.

After failures that break one's heart, after emotional wounds that tear one apart, after the gnashing of teeth in pain, after lingering thoughts of people and events, they gradually fade away into insignificance on the path of time, light as clouds and thin as smoke. Therefore, in the journey of life, complain less, be less impatient, regret less. Everything lost will surely return in different forms, enriching our lives and filling our bags.

Time never speaks, yet it will, at some unsuspecting moment, answer all your questions. Time neither rushes nor lags, once made us despairingly pained. Time, as always, will also bring us new hope and confidence. After a thousand sails, we have no regrets; the world always holds something worth looking forward to.

"Nothing is more convincing than time, because time can change everything without notifying us."

Too many relationships can't withstand the rotation of days and months, can't withstand the passage of time.

Love is easy, but living together is hard; when love is intense, it can also turn thin. The promises made in the heat of love often can't endure the bitter years after love fades. Those who say they'll be lifelong friends may scatter in the passage of time. Life comes and goes, and whatever the relationship between people, it's all about fate, and the depth and length of fate depend on whether we can cherish each other day after day, year after year.

The human heart is unpredictable; someone else's heart may not be like ours, and genuine affection doesn't always guarantee genuine affection. As the saying goes: "The road of life may seem short, but it's enough to let you see every face around you." Real love won't be diluted by time; instead, it becomes stronger with the passage of time, enduring forever.

True friendship won't be hindered by time; instead, it deepens with the accumulation of years, becoming more genuine and fragrant. True family affection isn't about never quarreling, but about love remaining after the quarrels.

No matter how the world changes, how many times the seasons change, believe that someone will always stay by your side. Time doesn't speak, yet it sees through hearts; years pass quietly, yet they witness sincerity. In the vast sea of people and the long journey of life, may we all be treated sincerely by many.

If not, let us learn compassion and tolerance in misfortune and loneliness. Do your best and time will tell you the answers.

When we start something, we often rush for results. If we don't see them immediately, it makes us anxious. Little do we realize that just like sowing in spring and reaping in autumn, everything requires time; when the time comes, it will naturally come to fruition. The growth of a towering tree starts from the sprouting of a tiny seed, enduring countless years of wind and rain.

Many things in the world require long-term accumulation for qualitative change. For example, in sports, you won't see significant results in the short term.

This reminds me of a saying: "Whether you exercise or not, the difference will affect the entire life." When you understand this, you see the power of accumulation, and you understand the significance of persistence and self-discipline.

In this world, nothing persists because of seeing hope; rather, persistence allows us to see hope. It's like water dripping on a stone, grinding a needle from a pole. The charm of time lies in the fact that no one can determine what will happen next moment, but please believe, there are no wasted paths in life; every step counts.

Dedicate yourself to what you believe in, and let time handle the rest; it will surely give us the answers we seek. Time doesn't speak, years don't utter a word, yet they make us understand: though the future holds many unknowns and uncertainties, we should all be confident, because time will not fail every effort we put in.

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Friday, January 3, 2025

Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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Friday, December 27, 2024

Six Habits to Thrive in the New Year

In life, happiness and sorrow coexist; joy and sadness walk hand in hand. No one's life is completely smooth sailing. However, we must believe that the current difficulties will pass, and what lies ahead in our future will be joy and happiness. In the new year, each of us should care more about ourselves. Starting with small things and making the best use of the present is the best way to make life more beautiful. Today, I'm sharing six good habits to help us embrace the new year and live a more fulfilling life.

1.Think Less

People without anxiety aren't without it because they are solving the problems causing anxiety. The most effective way to eliminate anxiety is quite simple: to immediately do what causes your anxiety. Often, the more you think, the more anxious you become. No matter how big the problems in life, excessive worry only makes the situation worse. Life presents challenges; everyone faces various pressures. In the New Year, what we truly need to do is to reduce our worries and take more practical action. Remember, the true way to change things is through practical action.

2.Be Optimistic in Everything

If a person's heart is filled with clouds of worry, life will inevitably be full of obstacles. If you live with negative emotions, not only will you feel unhappy, but you won't be able to have a positive impact on others. Worries come from within. To live comfortably, one must positively interpret and understand life. We have many choices in life. To stay optimistic, realize that many people in the world face greater difficulties than you. Face life with a mindset that 'as problems arise, solutions arise', then every day will be filled with beautiful scenes.

3.Find Happiness in Life

In life's journey, there's an endless stream of tasks. If your heart is full of anxiety, happiness will stay far away. When feeling exhausted, stop and take a break. Everyone faces difficulties and grievances; continuous tension will undoubtedly rob life of its joy. The writer Gogol once said, "Happiness prolongs life." Happiness is the vitality of body and mind, hope and belief, confidence in the present and future, and faith in all progress. No matter the situation, with a happy attitude, life will become more fulfilling.

4.Follow a Regular Diet

Food plays a crucial role in life. In daily diet, the balance between meat and vegetables is crucial, with more fresh vegetables. Many health experts also advise: "Eat well for breakfast, eat until you're full for lunch, eat less for dinner." Oily foods and irregular eating habits are not good for health. Reduce meat intake, eat more vegetables, and keep food consumption to about 70% full.

5.Work Diligently

"Life doesn't have too late a start; it's just too lazy to fulfil it." Laziness will consume a person's willpower and enthusiasm, leading to inaction and feelings of defeat. No matter what you do, it doesn't depend on timing, but on whether you are willing to put in the effort. In the new year, working diligently and completing the tasks assigned by your superiors will not only help you earn more but also earn recognition from your boss. Those who are too lazy will find it difficult to lead a good life. If you want to live better, in the new year, make sure to be proactive.

6.Exercise a Little More

We all know the benefits of exercise, but very few actually put it into action. Many people believe that exercise will make them tired; hence they refuse to do it. But perhaps you're not aware that not exercising will make you more tired. People who rarely exercise feel back pain after doing physical activities and feel out of breath after walking a bit. These are signs of a lack of exercise. In the new year, don't hesitate anymore. Start now and create an exercise plan for yourself. By persisting in exercising, you will have a healthy body. Only with good health can life be more beautiful. Time can't be reversed, and moments can't be stopped. I hope in the days ahead, you will strive forward. Let's start with these small habits and shape a brand new self.

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Friday, November 22, 2024

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old


Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

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The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 1, 2024

Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

  1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

  1. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

  1. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

  1. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

  1. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

Read Also:

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

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Friday, October 25, 2024

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

  1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

  1. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

  1. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

  1. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.


About Work:

  1. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
  2. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
  3. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
  4. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

  1. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
  2. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

  1. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

  1. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

  1. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
  2. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
  3. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

Read Also:

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

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Friday, October 18, 2024

Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Simply put: Get good sleep.

These simple four words resonate with many people. In today's fast-paced world, we're often plagued by endless work, feeling exhausted. But if we manage to have a good sleep, not only can we restore our energy and revitalize our skin, but we can also maintain a clear mind and balance our physical well-being.

Roughly one-third of our lives should be spent getting sufficient sleep. However, an increasing number of people find themselves in the dilemma of insufficient sleep, experiencing insomnia, nightmares, and difficulty falling asleep.

Some people overwork and stay up late, while others play with their phones late into the night, then rely on coffee to continue their lives with dark circles under their eyes.

The workaholics and night owls, who have damaged their health through countless late nights, ironically mock themselves for not deserving a good night's sleep.

Those who truly understand the reason know that high-quality sleep brings about high work efficiency and a better life. Sleeping well is a remedy for healing life and a great method for self-cultivation.

The prevalent culture in this era involves staying up late

Statistics show that 90% of young people's sudden deaths are closely related to staying up late. Nights spent binge-watching shows, gaming, or using late nights to console a lonely soul...

If someone accrues too much sleep debt, placing essential matters of life in a secondary position, they're destroying their health and clearly not valuing themselves.

Lack of sleep can result in the ineffective removal of waste from the cerebrospinal fluid, leading to slow reactions, irritability, and even making erroneous decisions.

Looking back at 2010, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 crashed into the Mediterranean Sea just five minutes after take-off, with no survivors. Initially suspected to be a terror attack or due to thunderstorms, the investigation revealed an unexpected truth: both pilots suffered from prolonged sleep deprivation and extreme fatigue, causing a minor mistake.

The captain flew continuously in a fatigued state for as long as 45 days prior to the flight, having only a brief rest before this flight and feeling drowsy but still forced to execute the flight. Despite strictly adhering to duty and not relaxing, a foggy consciousness made it impossible to correct errors in time.

Don't take youth for granted, and don't let your body operate beyond its capacity without concern. Regret arrives too late when the Grim Reaper appears.

If you don't value your body, how can your body value you?

Maintaining good sleep habits, going to bed and waking up early, helps you become more focused and committed to your work.

If life is a gamble, a healthy body is your winning hand.

"Your pathway to a good life lies only one step away: a good night's sleep.

There's a story I once heard:

Emily, dubbed by New York media as the "Wall Street future star," was a senior actuary. She worked diligently, displaying remarkable competence in her job. However, soon after, she suffered from severe depression, becoming emotionally unstable. Her career took a downturn, leaving her exhausted.

In many sleepless nights, she confronted her breakdown alone.

One day, Emily, feeling helpless, turned to a priest at the church, asking why she faced such anguish and torment despite her flourishing career, questioning what she might have done wrong.

The priest asked her, "What do you do every night?"

Feeling wronged, Emily replied, "I work hard."

The priest continued, "Do you give yourself time for a good night's sleep? Sufficient time to ease the negative emotions in your heart?"

Emily suddenly realized that the challenges of work are endless, and only through sufficient sleep could she replenish her energy.

Under the guidance of a doctor, she gave up her poor habit of staying up late and specifically focused on the quality and timing of deep sleep.

In just over half a year, her condition gradually improved, and her body began to recover.

We all know that sometimes our phones need to be shut down and rebooted.

If a person is not in a good state, they also need a complete sleep experience.

The comfortable life we dream of is hidden in a good night's sleep every night.

For those who can't sleep well, emotions become sensitive, making them unable to feel happiness, ultimately preventing them from truly enjoying the warmth of home.

Only with sufficient sleep and full rest can one maintain a complete memory and prevent life's rhythm from becoming chaotic.

If you've treated yourself poorly in the past, why not make a promise starting today: to sleep well.

May you fall asleep peacefully every night and wake up full of energy every day.

Only by sleeping well every night can one live a good life.

People who often stay up late have scattered thoughts. The more they want to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. Even if they do fall asleep, they easily experience light sleep and numerous dreams. Truly exceptional people won't spend too much energy and thoughts late at night, as excessive thinking only increases worries.

Regarding sleep, here are five methods to improve sleep quality:

  1. Make the most of the golden 90 minutes. This is a crucial time for rapid physical recovery, as the brain and body are in a state of deep sleep. Create a comfortable, undisturbed sleep environment before bedtime.
  2. The pillow needs to be appropriate. A familiar sleep environment is crucial to maintaining good sleep. Many people carry their accustomed pillow when traveling, as a suitable pillow offers the most comfortable sleep.
  3. Create a good sleep environment. Bedroom temperature and lighting may affect sleep, so carefully create an environment conducive to sleep. Ventilate in advance, adjust the temperature and humidity, turn off light sources when sleeping to promote melatonin secretion. Sleeping in a clean, fresh, and quiet environment will make dreams sweeter.
  4. Relax your brain and body. Thinking doesn't consume energy, so the brain remains active before sleep. It's best not to use your phone or think about the next day's tasks before sleep, allowing the brain to completely relax. Additionally, avoid strenuous exercise before sleep; some gentle exercises, such as yoga, are suitable.
  5. Be mindful of pre-sleep diet. Dinner should not be too heavy, and avoid drinking coffee or strong tea at night, as this not only reduces the gastrointestinal burden and the frequency of nocturnal awakenings but also prevents accelerated heartbeats. Drinking warm milk before sleep can make you sleep better.

Having a good night's sleep is the most important investment for adults. Health will always be the most valuable wealth. Remember, health is the 1, and wealth is the later 0. With health (1), one can achieve a lot of wealth (0); but if you lose health (1), everything goes back to zero.

The world always appreciates those who can discipline themselves to sleep. Please don't waste sleep because good sleep continuously nurtures life. Even amidst the busy life, by enhancing sleep quality, you can take more control of life's rhythm. May you fall asleep worry-free and meet each brand-new day with full vitality."

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Early Hours, New Heights

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Friday, October 4, 2024

Truth or Tact at work

There exists a group of individuals in life who exhibit tremendous patience, obedience, yet seldom receive the fitting benefits. These individuals endure unfair treatment, refrain from refusing others' requests, and fail to actively seek their rights. Despite their efforts, they frequently find themselves unrewarded and eventually trapped in a dilemma of "the more honest you are, the more vulnerable you become." Everyone is striving at work, hoping for corresponding rewards. However, any job is far from being simple, and around 80% of life's pain usually originates from work. If you've recently felt unhappy due to work, perhaps consider changing your mindset and tell yourself: It's just work; there's no need to be too honest.

Work should be diligent and hardworking, but maintaining a student-like mindset is unnecessary.

"Because you're too obedient, sometimes what leaders fear is an overly obedient employee." This is a typical student mindset. Employees merely respond with "okay, okay, okay" and never proactively provide opinions or suggestions. Even when assigned a task, they merely address the specified points without further contemplation, akin to students fulfilling assignments by rote and command.

Nevertheless, the workplace is not like an exam, especially not a closed-book exam, and hence there's no fixed standard answer. Even if the leader raises questions, experienced professionals in the workplace often broadly seek help to provide appropriate solutions.

There's a little story about a boy attempting to lift a huge stone; his father encouraged him, saying, "As long as you put in all your effort, I believe you can lift it." The boy tried with all his strength, but the stone remained unmoved, and then he said, "I have given my all." His father responded, "You haven't given it your all; I've been here beside you, and you haven't sought help. Giving your all doesn't just mean using all your strength but also utilizing all the resources available to solve the current difficulty."

Many professionals in the workplace, like the boy lifting the stone, toil away diligently but fail to seek help. Perhaps they haven't realized they can seek help, or maybe they are unwilling to trouble others. In reality, solving any complex issue is a result of seeking assistance from various quarters.

"Social wealth is not allocated; it requires active acquisition by people." Learning to harness external support is also a skill, as an individual's solo efforts can't compare with collaborative group efforts.

Be careful not to compromise too much in everything; this behaviour may derail you at work.

Let me share a story of a former colleague. One day, he suddenly confided in me that he was dismissed from the company, which left me extremely surprised. He was a diligent and honest person, always willingly putting in extra hours at work without complaints. Colleagues often sought his help, and he never refused, always ready to be of service. Although he was terribly worn out, he never found the courage to express his dissatisfaction. He thought that his leaders would appreciate these efforts, but he never expected that despite all he did, he was eventually laid off, citing business restructuring and poor output. Before leaving, he said to me, "In the workplace, don't get too emotionally invested, or you'll end up like me." I felt sorry for him, but I suddenly understood the harsh reality of the workplace. The workplace does not favour those who are excessively honest. Many times, your troubles and grievances come from your 'I'm sorry' attitude. Such toil without accomplishment is ultimately seen as in vain. Leaders focus on results, hence dealing with matters effectively is key. Being truly responsible at work doesn't mean doing everything; it's about achieving significant success in the most crucial matters. Just like Warren Buffet's "5/25 Rule": Retain the top 5 important things and avoid doing the remaining 20 that are easily distracting, to achieve success. Less is more; knowing how to refuse is wisdom in the workplace. Excessive compromise in everything may lead you to lose yourself on the path of life. Life is short; don't let 'I'm sorry' ruin your life.

Learn to avoid self-consumption; that's the way out for honest people.

I once saw an article: A couple riding a donkey, and someone commented: 'these two are cruel, both riding on the donkey.' The wife got off, the husband rode, and the bystander said: 'The man is really selfish, making his wife walk.' So, the husband also rode the donkey, and the wife walked. But then someone speculated: 'The man is afraid of his wife, right?'

Finally, both had to walk alongside the donkey, and someone jeered: 'These two are so silly; they don't even ride the donkey!' This story is like a joke, and after reading it, you might laugh and think, 'How could people be so silly?' However, we often fall into the same trap in life, trying to please everyone.

Honest people are prone to excessive concern over these evaluations, affecting their emotions, resulting in inner turmoil. For instance, if the boss gets upset, you repeatedly replay the situation, guessing if you offended them; or when you send a message to a colleague and don't get a reply, you repeatedly think whether you said something wrong and became annoying; or feeling upset because you can't find a common topic with a colleague...

All these mental activities are actually unnecessary and should not exist. We can never please everyone. If we always measure ourselves against others' standards, we won't find the right path. To live a more relaxed life, cultivate a mindset that resists self-consumption and maintains inner stability. Though praise from others is good, excessive attention to criticism is unnecessary.

The 5 “balls” of life

Each of us juggles five "balls" in our lives: family, work, health, friends, and the soul. Among these five "balls," only work is made of rubber, it can be damaged and still bounce back. The other four "balls" are made of glass, once broken, they cannot be restored. If we make work the sole meaning of life, not only will it be dull, but it will also be futile.

It is because work is just a part of life, not all of it. Those who focus too much on work might lose some joy.

Remember, the purpose of work is to support life, not to burden it. Work is just a role; don't take it too seriously."

Read Also:

The Relaxed Journey

Listen: Podcast

Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

You've probably heard the saying that all efforts in life result in either being laughed at or being effective. The ultimate outcome dep...