Friday, April 26, 2024

Being Kind to Yourself Starts with Not Getting Angry

Let's start with a question: Are you someone who easily gets angry?

In life, many things can happen that go against our expectations, whether minor like missing a bus or major such as being hurt or betrayed by a trusted person. Despite many things that can upset us, there aren't actually that many worth getting angry about. Getting mad over trivial matters is being irresponsible towards oneself. In the latter half of life, the winner depends on one's mindset. If you can control your anger, you are the winner.

Behaviour while angry is wrong 80% of the time. In psychology, there's the well-known 10-90 principle. It states that 10% of what happens to you in life is unavoidable, but the remaining 90% is determined by how you react to those events. If you maintain a positive mindset, you'll find positivity in life and not get too bothered by anything. However, if your mindset is poor and you're constantly getting angry over minor issues, it will only make your life worse. Around 80% of the decisions and behaviours made while angry are incorrect. Anger makes people biased, and it can lead to irrationality. In a fit of rage, people often make poor choices. This is why many make significant mistakes when angry. For example, a news report described a dispute between a taxi driver and a passenger. What began as a small issue escalated when the driver, unable to control emotions, ended up driving the vehicle towards the passenger. Unfortunately, the passenger lost their life, and the driver faced imprisonment. In moments of anger, no one wins.

Never make decisions in a fit of anger as you can't anticipate the impact on your future life. When angry, try counting to ten, calming down, and then reconsidering the issue. Don't let a moment of rage ruin several decades of your future life.

Let Go of Others' Mistakes and Free Your Own Heart

There exists a blood-sucking bat on the African savannah that latches onto wild horses' legs to feed on their blood and then flies away satiated. Though these bats don't take much blood, many wild horses, after being bitten, suffer and eventually die. The death of the wild horses wasn't due to the bats but the anxiety and frenzy caused by the biting. This phenomenon, punishing oneself due to the errors of others, is known as the "wild horse outcome." Anger, in fact, tortures oneself, punishing oneself. It breeds internally, harming the body while having no impact on others. It's not worth it. If you think about it, what's worth getting angry about, affecting our mood and health? And how many things from the last 5 or 10 years still make us angry? Many times, it's not the specific incident that troubles us but our present emotions. No one in this world is worth sacrificing your mental and physical health for. Don't get angry at petty people; they aren't worth your effort. Also, don't get angry with loved ones, as it can harm relationships and disrupt harmony. If someone hurts you, either retaliate or ignore them. Either way, never punish yourself with someone else's mistakes.

Be Resourceful Instead of Getting Angry In life, we inevitably face coldness, malice, and even humiliation. Getting angry and complaining is fruitless and won't earn anyone's respect. Instead of anger, it's crucial to rally your spirits and make changes. When you become stronger, the people around you become friendlier. This is the reality, harsh but true. Anger never solves problems. Others' opinions about you won't change because of your temper but because of your capabilities. When people look down on you, don't hastily react. Stay calm, focus on improving yourself, and prove yourself with your abilities. Always remember: patience is the highest form of contempt, and strong capability is the most decisive retaliation.

Time is invaluable, so why waste emotions on useless anger? There might be many reasons to get angry in life, but not getting angry needs just one reason: it's not necessary to make yourself suffer. If you are right, there's no need to be angry; that's punishing yourself for others' wrongs. If you're wrong, you have no right to be angry; correcting mistakes is the right approach. In life, getting what you want is accidental, and facing challenges is the norm. If every little thing that goes wrong makes you angry, life becomes dull. Anger is like slow self-destruction, and happiness is the secret to longevity. Being angry all the time, continually complaining, only makes life more difficult. Besides life and death, everything else is trivial. No one is worth sacrificing your happiness, and nothing is worth damaging your mind and body. Our time in this world is very limited; we're not here to be angry. Instead of wasting time with resentment, embrace life with a joyful heart.

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This Life, Rely on Yourself

Friday, April 19, 2024

This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

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Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

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Friday, April 12, 2024

Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

In this long journey of life, we will encounter thousands upon thousands of people. Within these myriad encounters, we gather numerous beautiful memories that are unforgettable. Meeting our parents, we receive the most selfless love in the world; meeting benefactors, we receive help and guidance; meeting friends, we acquire sincere companionship... Each encounter is a gift from heaven, and every favour is worth remembering and promptly repaying. As the saying goes: "Pay back debts; it's only natural," and for the kindness we receive, it's our responsibility to express gratitude. Ultimately, life is a journey of repayment. The more kindness we receive, the more we should repay. Only by not owing anyone can we face ourselves without any guilt.

The Debt of Parental Upbringing

The greatest debt we owe in life comes from our parents. Indeed, the kindness of parents is indescribable, surpassing the boundaries of the world. Our life is bestowed upon us by our parents; our healthy growth is thanks to their nurturing. The favour our parents grant us is beyond all else and worth repaying throughout our lives. In childhood, parents unreservedly shower us with love; hence, when they grow older, it's our responsibility to wholeheartedly repay their love. Filial piety towards parents is the greatest virtue of children. Embracing their shortcomings, caring for them attentively, is not just accumulating blessings for ourselves but also accumulating our own virtues. Remember, everyone will grow old, so treating our parents well is not just treating them well but treating ourselves well. Respecting our parents also sets an example for our own children because, when they grow up, they will hold the same respect for us. There's a saying: "The favour of upbringing is greater than the heavens; being filial to parents is the most noble act." Don't wait until the day when "children desire to provide, but parents are no longer around" to regret not treasuring and repaying them earnestly. We owe our parents so much; they give without seeking anything in return, they contribute without asking. As children, it is our duty to repay our parents' love, to return their kindness. When they grow old, be patient, reduce impatience; visit home more often within their limited time, accompany them more, fulfil filial duties timely, and prevent any lingering regrets.

The Significance of Benefactors' Support

Life is filled with twists and turns, and everyone encounters difficulties that aren't easily resolved. In these moments, you'll discover who around you is genuine and who is pretentious. The world is filled with superficial appearances; it's easy to find people who'll help you, but receiving genuine assistance during tough times is rare. The most precious things in life are not money or status, but having someone by your side, offering support, hope, and strength when you're in trouble. Some people are kind to you with ulterior motives; once you no longer serve their interests, they will depart. However, some individuals are genuinely good to you, not for any other reason but because they find you worthy and help you selflessly. In life, we should steer clear of those who are unkind to us and cherish those who treat us well. It's said that "a drop of water shall be returned with a burst of spring." Those who help us in times of distress deserve eternal gratitude, and whenever possible, we should reciprocate their assistance. After all, nobody is obligated to help us; these people who extend their hands to us are our benefactors in life. They provide support when we're helpless and guidance when we're perplexed. It's because of them that we have achieved what we have today. These feelings of gratitude from benefactors are extremely valuable and should be forever engraved in our hearts; their kindness should be remembered eternally and repaid and cherished. Everything in life is transient; receiving goodwill also means giving back goodwill. Only through mutual giving can emotions last.

The Understanding between Friends

In life, we often endure numerous grievances and pains that we can't easily share with our families and even if others may not understand. In such situations where there's nowhere to vent and no one to share with, we can only silently endure and digest this pressure on our own. Sometimes, situations aren't easy, yet we're forced to accept this reality. This is because everyone has their own difficulties and misfortunes, and rarely do people genuinely care about your inner feelings, willing to listen to your distress and share your worries. Most people maintain polite and courteous superficial pleasantries, only speaking in false tones at the dining table. True confidants, those who can truly share adversities with you, are extremely rare. How many true friends can one have in a lifetime? In this vast world, not everyone has the opportunity to know each other, and not everyone can resonate with you. Those who don't understand you often can't truly comprehend your feelings; they only watch when you're in trouble and might even mock or ridicule. Only a true friend can genuinely understand you, trust you, stand unconditionally by your side, becoming your strongest support. Having a confidant prevents you from feeling lonely on life's journey.

During weariness, there will always be someone who cares; during grievance, there will always be someone who provides comfort. During joy, there will always be someone to share with you; during disappointment, there will always be someone to support you. Having a confidant is a rare stroke of luck, not something that's easily found. Therefore, if you're fortunate enough to have this, it should be treasured. Not only should you wholeheartedly remember the kindness others show you, but you should also reciprocate their sincerity through practical actions. Life is a journey of repayment; when you receive warmth, you must repay it with sincerity, and when you receive sincerity, you should reciprocate it with genuine affection. In life, you often hear people lament about the complexities of interpersonal relationships. However, in reality, the connection between people is simply a process of sharing emotions. Life is like an echo; what you give will determine what you receive; the more you give, the more you'll receive. Understanding reciprocity is an appreciation for friendship, while understanding gratitude is a form of respect for genuine emotions.

In this vast world, people meet, understand each other, and stand by each other; everyone experiences ups and downs. Only those who carry a heart of dedication and gratitude can possess enduring love and happiness. Life is a journey of repayment; when you gain, you must know to give back in time. Only through this can friendships endure without debts or obligations. Cherish to have possession, and gratitude will ensure an everlasting relationship.

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The Toughest Aspects of Life

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Friday, April 5, 2024

The Toughest Aspects of Life

What is the toughest part of life?

In life, regardless of your position, there are inevitable challenges. Each sentence tells the undeniable truth—once you read it, you'll understand!

The Hardest to Maintain is Health Having a healthy body is life's greatest fortune. Having health doesn’t mean you have everything, but without it, all else is in vain. Keeping a healthy body is the greatest responsibility to yourself and your family. With good health, you can be there for your loved ones until old age, witness your children grow, and take care of your parents. Only 4.3% of the global population has perfect health; approximately 3.2 billion people (about a third of the world's population) have five different diseases simultaneously; over half the population has ten different diseases at once. Presently, just by having good health, you're already ahead of 95% of the global population. Maintaining health is the most challenging, especially living longer in good health. Ensuring balanced meals three times a day, getting a full 8 hours of sleep, and doing 30 minutes of exercise daily—these might sound simple but are incredibly difficult to practice, and many can't accomplish it throughout their lives.

The Most Challenging to Change is Habit Why do they say "rivers are easy to change, human nature is hard to change"? This is because changing a person's temperament is most challenging when it comes to altering their habits. A person's temperament throughout life is, in essence, a combination of numerous habits. Just 21 days of consistency can create a habit. In life, seemingly trivial habits contain significant power. Good habits can shape a person's success, while bad habits can destroy a person. Aligning one's actions with one's beliefs is incredibly challenging. Understanding principles is easy, but putting them into practice is very difficult. This is why we often comprehend many truths but still struggle to live well.

The Most Inscrutable is the Human Heart The depth and treachery of the human heart are more profound and dangerous than the deepest seas and valleys and more complex than the ever-changing clouds. Because the human heart is deeply hidden, outsiders can never fully comprehend it. Life is short, spend time with those who bring joy to your heart. For those you can't understand, don't guess; for those you can't tolerate, stay away; for those growing distant, let go. Never hastily conclude that you deeply understand someone; never naively believe someone deserves your profound trust. Some words are best left heard without being taken to heart; some things are better understood without being openly discussed; some people are better known without being exposed; some feelings are best let go of without being fixated. Not everyone deserves your full investment; not everything is worth giving your all. Approach the world with kindness; most importantly, protect yourself amidst changing relationships.

The Hardest to Retain is Time

Time seems short, fleeting like an arrow, sometimes slipping through like a stream of water. Time flies by like a swift arrow, never to return. Day after day, year after year, time ceases to exist, leaving only irreversible past events. People live through life, and often, problems keep coming. The river of time flows relentlessly, unchanging for itself. Unless it's life and death, nothing is insurmountable. Cherish every moment now; don't wait to regret when it's lost; don't wait until old age to rue!

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Revitalize Your World: The Magic of Quality Sleep

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Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Every bad relationship carries a part of your responsibility because we inadvertently teach others how to treat us." Excessive hu...