Friday, June 30, 2023

You must have peeled an onion, right?

 

When you peel the "onion" layer by layer, you will find that it has no core.

This is the opposite of the "avocado" personality, the "onion" personality.

As long as there is a little negative feedback from the outside world, it breaks down inside and feels bad.

There is this person, A.

A has always liked fashion. After graduation, she joined an internationally renowned clothing company and was employed in front-line sales.

When relatives and classmates knew that she had become a salesperson, they despise her because it seems degrading for a graduate student to be a salesperson, putting on shoes and trying on clothes for others!"

Some mean classmates deliberately came to the store to let her serve them, taking the opportunity to put her down.

Although her income was good, she couldn't stand the ridicule of others and chose to resign.

Then she went to a government agency and stayed in an administrative position for ten years.

And the colleagues who were "salesperson" like her at the beginning, one became a company executive and the other became a fashion blogger.

Looking at her boring life day after day, she began to regret it:

"If I didn't give up at the beginning and persisted, I don't know what will happen now?"

One is always the protagonist of his own, and he should not always play a supporting role in other people's dramas.

What others think is good may not be suitable for you; what others despise may not necessarily be wrong.

Others can only judge your life, but they will not pay for your sorrows and joys, let alone be responsible for your life. SO you are the one who can decide for yourself.

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Friday, June 23, 2023

Life is very tiring, if you are not tired now, you will be more tired in the future.

 

Life is like a season. After the spring, there will be winter. It is impossible to be prosperous all the time, and it is impossible to be full of flowers all the way.

Feel life, read life, think about your own things. When the words of a book seep into the heart and talk with the heart, when the soul runs into the book and communicates with the words. It is also a kind of happiness that the words can understand your heart, as if you have written yourself.

To be a pure person, let go of what you can’t bear; let go of what you can’t afford to hurt; ignore what you can’t figure out; let go of what you can’t hate. Life is a process of cultivation, why use this unyielding heart to look at people and things, trample yourself, and live up to the years.

The most difficult thing for a person to recognize is his own heart. Life is all about finding someone who is with you. There is nothing wrong with immature people being with immature people, and there is nothing wrong with mature people being with mature people, but there are many problems with mature people being with immature people.

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After middle age: work hard for money , spend money sparingly, and save money steadily

Friday, June 16, 2023

After middle age: work hard for money , spend money sparingly, and save money steadily

 

Some time ago, there was such a topic on the Internet: "What did you understand in the past three pandemic years?"

Someone summed up the following four points:

1. You have to have a house, otherwise you won’t even have a place to stay during quarantine;

2. You have to have savings, and you can maintain your life for at least a period of time if you are unemployed;

3. Lying at home is not as comfortable as imagined, because you will be extremely anxious because you have no income;

4. The more the society develops, the more black swan events there will be. You must have the ability to fight against such uncertainties.

In fact, the conclusion is: you have to be rich.

Money can not only bring dignity and decency, but also the confidence to walk in the world.

In the second half of life, if you want to be self-sufficient in money, you must be ruthless in making money, save money in spending, and be steady in saving money.

1. Work hard for money

A relative of mine was an executive in a tech company a few years ago, and her life was prosperous.

The good times didn't last long, the industry declined, and the company where my relatives worked was on the verge of bankruptcy.

After losing her job, she couldn't find a job of the same position, and refused to lower herself, so she simply stayed at home for a few months.

During this period, a HR friend offered her an olive branch and asked her to work as an assistant to the CEO of a company.

She hesitated for several days, and finally refused.

When she thought about how old she was, she still had to serve tea and water for others, and be ordered by others, and she felt that her self-esteem couldn't stand it.

Not long after, there was an emergency in her family and a large sum of money was needed.

Looking back, I wanted to go to that HR friend for help, but there was no position suitable for her in his company. Life is like this. When you have money to make, you can't save face. If you want to make money with your head down, you have no chance.

"Self-esteem is the skin, making money is to feed the belly, which one is more important to you?"

2. Spend money sparingly

If you don't know how to control your desire to consume, then no matter how much money you earn, you can't keep up with the speed of spending it, and you will squander it sooner or later.

When you are young, you can be wilful to spend all the money you earn.

But when you enter the middle age, you have to consider the burden on you.

There are old people and young in your family, and there are mortgages and insurance premiums to be paid.

Every penny must be spent wisely, and it is even more important to habitually check the balance when going out to spend.

3. Save money

A happy life will not just fall from the sky. Only by learning to invest and save can we have the capital to support the future.

As you get older, the savings in your pocket are your reassurance and your booster.

There used to be a breakfast shop near my house, which was owned by an old couple.

Except for the Chinese New Year, I have never seen this stall rest.

Even when I catches the earliest bus and goes downstairs at five o'clock in the morning, the couple is already preparing for the day to start. Suddenly one day, the stall closed.

I learned from neighbors in the neighborhood that their daughter was admitted to a good university and found a good job after graduation.

The couple also decided to take a break and travel around the world.

I am very curious: going out to travel around the world without doing business should cost a lot of money, right?

Neighbours said that the couple had been silently saving money for so many years.

Not only they managed to help their daughter buy a house with the down payment, but also had enough money in my pocket to live a happy life in their later years.

After middle age, every sum of money you save is your happiness in your later years.

The more balance you have in your card, the easier it will be to live in the future.

A simple and practical "333 Little Rules for Saving Money" works:

Divide your monthly salary into three equal parts: living expenses, savings, and investment.

Save money in this way, no matter what, you can save at least one-third of your income every month.

Of course, the ratio can be adjusted appropriately according to the actual situation, but it is best to strictly implement it according to the plan every month.

Accumulate over a long period of time, gather less to make more, and in the end it is also a big gain.

You must believe that every penny you save is an umbrella to protect you from wind and rain in your later years, and will eventually give you the most fulfilling sense of security.

We used to think that talking about money was crude, but now we find that 99% of the sorrows in the world are related to money.

No amount of chicken soup can compare to the sense of security of a banknote.

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The most important thing in life is to discover and know yourself

Friday, June 9, 2023

The most important thing in life is to discover and know yourself

 

Happy people cultivate a calm attitude, let nature takes its place, do not force others, and do not oppose the world. If you have no desire, you will be free, and you can enjoy peace with a wide heart. There are too much regrets in life, and they all become forgotten in the end.

Some degree of pain has to be experienced in order to see the truth. In life, there will be as much pain as joy. Pain and joy are reflections of the soul, just like what is in the mirror depends on what is in front of the mirror. Tolerance is a bridge of mutual understanding and trust between people. An optimistic attitude comes from tolerance, generosity, empathy, and indifference to the world.

Life is not perfect, if you find that you are wrong, just start over; if you have no chance to start over, let it sink into the sea of ​​time forever. The so-called growing up of a person means daring to face oneself: before making a choice, be sincere and firm, after making a choice, have a heart that will never change.

To understand life is to understand oneself. Life is nothing more than that, let's do it and cherish it. Life is full of joy, and the longest harvest in life is actually to cherish. Life is like a road, there are ups and downs with mountains and rivers, and there are smooth roads with dark willows and flowers; life is like a river, sometimes it has twists and turns, and sometimes it bleeds thousands of miles. No matter how hard the road ahead is, no matter how helpless life is, as long as there is always happiness in your heart, there is no need to be depressed.​​​​

Life is short, and we need to make the most of it.

There are many things we can do to enjoy life before it's too late—and one of them is to appreciate the small things in life. Sure, it's easy to focus on the big picture when you're young, but as we get older, we tend to lose touch with all the little things that make up our lives.

But if you find time for these simple pleasures now…

you'll end up feeling better about yourself and more satisfied with your life than ever before.

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The Enneagram Personality You Should Know Yourself

Friday, June 2, 2023

The Enneagram Personality You Should Know Yourself

Have you heard of the Enneagram? Which of the 9 personalities do you belong to?

In personality psychology, the Enneagram is one of the most practical and accurate tool to understand someone. Through the awareness of personality types, you can see the laws of your own thinking patterns, emotional patterns and behaviour patterns in the shortest time. This is an ancient wisdom, knowledge about personality classification, which has a history of more than 2,500 years.

The Enneagram reveals our innermost values. Maybe you want to ask, what's the point of knowing my Enneagram?

Discover yourself

The Enneagram is a unique tool for personal growth and self-transformation because it delves into our core values. Understanding what drives our behaviour allows us to observe our deep beliefs, attitudes and choices, gain a level of insight, discover who we really are, and clarify our purpose in life.

Type 1: Pursue justice. This type of personality is driven by strong principles and is extremely good. They yearn for a moral, just and good world. Some people make concerted efforts to reduce pollution; some people are meticulous about how to fold their towels and how to arrange their condiments.

Type 2: Pursue connections. Twos aspire to connect with others through love and nurturing relationships. They care about others and are good at identifying and meeting other people's needs.

Type 3: Pursue values. Threes aspire to shine, to be role models, and to demonstrate personal worth. Threes are confident and adaptable. There are many efficient and excellent people in the whole group of Threes, including business people, athletes, celebrities, and spiritual mentors.

Type 4: Seek approval. What drives Fours forward is the desire to know themselves thoroughly. They are very longing for the inner world and are willing to go deep into their emotions. In them, you can see a sense of tenacity and creativity.

Type 5: Seek clarity. Fives seek clarity and sufficient knowledge. These people have great insight and insight, and can bring together different ideas to generate new ideas, which are often very simple and amazing.

Type 6: Seek Guidance. Seeking guidance is the driving force behind the Six. Sixes at their best have a clear direction, trust themselves, and influence and lead others. Firm and steady, they are willing allies and powerful team builders.

Type 7: Seek freedom. The driving force behind Sevens is the pursuit of freedom and possibility, and based on this, Sevens are actually very easy people to get along with. They have a wide range of interests and love to try new things, and even something as simple as a trip to the Laundromat can seem like a big adventure to Sevens.

Type 8: Seek strength. The driving force behind Eights is a thirst for power and influence, they have an unbridled lifestyle, and they enjoy the risks in life. Because of this, they take a far-reaching way of doing things. Eights radiate energy that some call "leadership." Eights are actionists who value results and speak up.

Type 9: Seek harmony. The driving force behind Nines is the desire for harmony, the ability to see direct connections in all aspects of life. Nines feel a permanent inner peace and bring this peace and tranquillity into their dealings with the world. Their gift lies in making others feel at ease and creating a comfortable and pleasant environment.

Many described a sense of relief when they discovered their personality type. Most of us feel a sense of certainty when we finally know why we keep falling into the same hole. Through the Enneagram, we not only know that character flaws are not our fault, but we also gain some insight into our greatest possibilities and talents. Instead of berating ourselves for our shortcomings, we begin to appreciate the power of our true selves. We start to love ourselves for who we really are.

Recognize bad habits

Developing inner observation skills is a delicate matter, because our habits are directly manifested and cannot be noticed. From morning coffee to sleep, all of us are the product of our own habits every day. Our habits look from the outside as what we do every day in our lives; from the inside, they are dictated by our character.

Self-awareness dominates general self-knowledge, which is determined by personality type and personal life experiences. Self-knowledge is mostly unconscious, and when we just react instinctively without developing conscious thinking about the world around us, it can be difficult to make the right decisions to support our lives.

When you start to pay attention to these daily habits, to pay attention to what you are not doing subconsciously, you will hear the inner dialogue in your mind. Because of your habits, this conversation may have popped up everywhere in your life without you noticing it.

The words that pop into your head might be, "That's the way it is." You listen without judgment, without questioning. While your inner dialogue is unique, here is a list of common themes that each personality type has in unconscious dialogue.

Type 1: These people are highly self-critical, and their inner dialogue sounds a lot like what a parent would say. There's a strong sense of responsibility in it, and a lot of what they "have to" do in order to be a good person. The behavioural drive of Type Ones is largely driven by self-critical, responsible conversations.

Type 2: This type of person's internal dialogue often refers to people related to them. Twos' focus is on "others," focusing on their needs and how they can help. This makes them always take action, offer help, and hope that true love will come because of their efforts.

Type 3: These people are often unconsciously looking for ways to be the best they can be, no matter what they are doing. They listen to their families and take their advice—the advice that makes them successful. This allows Threes to get out and achieve in ways they find worthwhile.

Type 4: Immediately after taking an action or having an intimate conversation, Fours confirm their thoughts and think about what they would do out of feeling. This type of person's self-awareness is influenced by how they feel in the moment, and then they react based on their current self-perception—often negative comparisons or over-idealization.

Type 5: The inner dialogue of Fives is always looking for ways to learn more about a topic or situation, and always wanting to learn more. By digging deeper into knowledge, Fives hope to know enough to act confidently in the world.

Type 6: The inner workings of the Six is like a pendulum: swinging anxiously from side to side, always looking for the true source of safety, security, and guidance. Their anxiety-generated inner activity keeps them looking for a stable, safe place outside of themselves.

Type 7: Sevens are usually very positive in their self-talk, constantly finding fun and exhilarating excitement. Such people generally turn their minds quickly and seek satisfactory answers from all possibilities. They are not confined to small circles and are always looking for ways to find happiness.

Type 8: Eights have a habit of getting louder and louder in their inner dialogue, wanting every thought to sound bolder, tougher, and more confident. They make their inner dialogue confident and arrogant as a way to drown out the voices of sensitivity and doubt and assuage the fear that they are not strong enough.

Type 9: The Nines' internal dialogue is relatively positive ("I can do it, you can do it"), but also vaguely succumb to convention. They imagine good places in their current lives. This kind of conversation keeps them in a bubble of internal comfort, so they don't take big risks.

The first step to changing your inner self is to become aware of them. Aware of this, you can make a conscious effort to engage in some different self-talk to slowly change your internalized thoughts. This kind of change takes time, after all, you've lived your life the way you are for years. Studies have shown that changing any one habit can take months.

Enneagram also refers to nine personalities, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, so we can't say what the best ones are. Many people may think that the perfect personality is the best personality, but in fact the perfect personality refers to the desire of such people to pursue perfection. In other words, the perfect personality has the tendency to perfectionism.

Every personality type has both advantages and disadvantages, so we can find their own advantages in each personality.

The direction of integration (Growth)

1 7 5 8 2 4 1

The direction of disintegration (Stress)

3 6 9 3

The forward direction is the direction of personality sublimation, and the reverse direction is the direction of personality deterioration. For example, when a No. 2 is mentally healthy, the mental health characteristics of No. 4 will appear at the same time; if a No. 2 is mentally unhealthy, the mentally unhealthy characteristics of No. 8 will appear, and so on. The same is true in Article 2.

The integration direction of personality sublimation and the improvement performance of quality acquisition:

1 7: Let go of restraint, be tolerant and optimistic, dare to try, and get "cheerful";

7 5: Reduce impulsiveness, act calmly, think deeply, and gain "reason";

5 8: Be strong and courageous, be decisive and confident, do what you say, and gain "authority";

8 2: Warm and friendly, helpful, open-minded, and "innocent";

2 4: Persevere in your wishes, enjoy yourself, love others and yourself, and gain "humility";

4 1: Keeping one's own footing, distinguishing between right and wrong, objective and calm, and obtaining "balance";

3 6: Be responsible and careful, think twice, be loyal, and gain "loyalty";

6 9: Go with the flow, let go of anxiety, convince others, and gain "trust";

9 3: Clear goals, diligent and positive, self-challenge, and gain "decisiveness".


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