Friday, September 29, 2023

Some tips to improve your emotional intelligence

1. Don't play with your phone while others are talking.

2. Inviting guests to a meal is equivalent to sharing. The invited person will forget about it after eating, and will not appreciate it, unless you invite a luxurious meal that he has never eaten before.

3. When you go to someone’s house as a guest, the owner of the other party doesn’t say too much, or even reminds you to drink water, or suggests watching TV, you should leave, because people always feel that they have nothing to say. Remind others to do something that doesn't matter.

4. Another day actually means forget it.

5. Before giving friend A’s contact information to friend B, it is best to ask friend A’s consent, because sometimes your friend A may not want to be disturbed by friend B, out of politeness, you’d better confirm with friend A.

6. In the office or dormitory, buy some snacks and share with everyone. A dozen of snacks can make you gain the favour of a group of people. 

7. It is very impolite to interrupt other people's speech, but if you are often interrupted by others, you should think about whether you are talking too much nonsense.

8. The less likely to get angry, it means that he has more trump cards in his hand. On the contrary, if he loses his temper at every turn, it means that he has no trump cards in his hand and only has the ability to lose his temper. The reason why people get emotional and lose their temper, that's all because of helpless actions after having no other way.

9. Um, ah, oh, these three words are the most perfunctory replies in the chat, you can either reply yes, or reply um, these are better than replying with one word.

10. Don't always think about changing yourself to cater to others.

You want to read books, but everyone is playing games. In order to integrate into them, you also play games. In the end, you fail the exam together.

11. Make money the most important thing before you are 30 years old. Don’t think about useless things. Put away your usual groaning. Only when the money is in place will you discover how beautiful the world is.

12. Your good temper, obedience, and honesty are only useful in school, and will only be liked by teachers and classmates. In society, most people don’t care whether you are good to him or not. They only care about whether they are good or not, so they often make a mess, Bad things will be given to honest people.

13. If you send a piece of text to the other party, if you don’t add emoticons or emoticons, sometimes it will cause the other party to misunderstand, because different people may have different interpretations of the same piece of text, but remember, do Don't add a smiley [smiling] emoji.

14. People who are taken advantage of and pretend to be fine are the most stupid.

You think that your good temper and tolerance can bring you a good impression, but in the eyes of others, you will only think that you are honest, easier to bully, and will take advantage of you next time. The more you treat others, the more you have no bottom line.

15. When the personality of the people around him changes a lot, either he has read a lot of books, or he has been hit hard. A person with a lively personality who loves to talk suddenly becomes silent, autistic, and cautious. , He must have experienced pain that you can't imagine.

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What are some simple principles of interpersonal communication?

Friday, September 22, 2023

What are some simple principles of interpersonal communication?

1. Popular people are generally lively, cheerful, versatile, and more eye-catching in the crowd. You don't have to please everyone in order to be popular.  


2. Eighty percent of interpersonal communication is the exchange of interests. When it's time to talk about interests, don't talk about feelings. See this clearly, don't let people treat you as an ATM, but you treat them as your best friend.  


3. People will make all kinds of friends because of loneliness and not adapting to the new environment. But as long as your natures are different, the final outcome will inevitably be drifting away.  


4. No one likes to be educated. If it's not for a true friend, don't make suggestions and criticisms easily. The result is usually that the two sides do not get any benefits, but turn against each other.  


5. Good listening is the secret to maintaining friendship.  


6. Everyone grows up in different environments and has different values, so they have different requirements for things big and small in life. So don't judge others by yourself, you may touch the bottom line of the other party- even if that bottom line is not very important to you.  


7. "Politeness is a trick that costs nothing, and only a fool would be stingy." - Schopenhauer  


8. You don't have to be popular, especially if you're an introvert. Finding your own circle of friends and rhythm is better than blindly imitating those successful books.


9. The ultimate goal of making friends is to enhance the spiritual realm of both parties and beautify life. If your friendship makes you miserable, please let go. A person can also be very happy. 


10. Don't trust the other party's company and commitment. You can keep it in mind, but don't rely entirely on it. When you encounter difficulties, you can still go by yourself.  


11. As the old saying goes, "It's easy to add flowers to the cake, but hard to send charcoal in the snow." When you are doing well, so-called friends come in doves, all of them are like your best relatives; when you lose your light, they will leave. Remember this, don't get drunk on so-called popularity. Most people aren't going to be your real friends - they're not close to you because they like you, they're close to you because they like themselves and want to promote themselves.  


12. Don't just hang out with those friends who are full of sweet words, praise and praise, and don't talk to you. Be able to accommodate the existence of critical friends.  


13. Childhood friendships are pure, but social friendships are sometimes full of exploitation and deceit. You don't know if the other person likes you or is jealous of you. 


14. Ugly women are not without benefits: Everyone tends to choose some people who can complement themselves when making friends.  


15. Make friends with those who are opposite to your personality and have certain similarities as friends, which can supplement the temperament and energy you are naturally lacking.  


16. People will change. It is normal for friends who have not seen each other for many years to have nothing to say. As long as you grow up, it is impossible not to face this.  


17. When making friends, it’s not just enough to share similar interests, but also to slowly examine each other’s values. Something deep inside him may be very different from yours.  


18. Ideally, friendship should be equal. But if your friend is disrespectful to you (no kidding), shouts, or doesn't care about your feelings, they may be putting themselves above you. For this situation, the best way is to disconnect.  


19. A friend who goes through adversity together is a friend forever. Therefore, instead of leaving your friend in distress, you should be more attentive to him.  


20. What kind of friends you make, what kind of person you are generally. The flaws in the friends you hate may be in you too. A lot of introspection is conducive to interpersonal harmony.  


21. Once you identify a friend, remind yourself to learn to tolerate.  


22. The older you get, the more lonely you will be. Because at this time people no longer have a common goal, and the competition is more intense. Don't worry too much. Learn to be alone.  


23. Being bad-tempered or speaking harshly will reduce points in the dating market. Although it is often natural, it is difficult to maintain intimacy without restraint. Because it's usually the closest people who hurt the most.  


24. It is difficult for people who don't understand or like reciprocity to have many friends.  


25. Making friends also depends on fate, just like love, which cannot be forced.  


26. Time will tell who your true friends are.  


27. The ancients said that it is enough to have a confidant in life. In other words, it is very likely that you will not have a soul friend in your life.  


28. No matter how lively, smart, funny, and attractive a person is at first sight, if he does not have a kind and loving heart, he is not the best candidate for a good friend. You may gradually find that ta doesn't care about your friend at all. Ta did not feel sorry for you, but you misunderstood ta. In short, friends who are excellent on one hand are not necessarily good on the other.  


29. No matter how good a friend is, you may hate him for a while, just like a mother sometimes wants to strangle her child. Be patient for a while and don't be too blunt. In the end, you may find out that you are actually the aunt, or that your hormones are out of balance.  


30. The more intimate people are, the easier it is to hate and get bored. Refer to between parents. This deviation must be consciously avoided.  


31. If you do not understand the other party, it is best not to judge rashly, which will expose your ignorance and self-righteousness. If no one is asking for your opinion, it's best to observe in silence first. 


32. When someone is in a bad mood, don't ask too many questions, pat him, then leave, and give him his personal space.  


33. Most people in modern society don't like to be known about their privacy, so it's safer not to take the initiative to ask. 


34. You don't need to change your position for the sake of your friends, just say what you think. You may drift away from this, or you may gain understanding, and nothing happens in the end. In short, go with the flow.  


35. Some sincere small gifts can bring your friends a whole day of happiness. Don't be stingy with compliments, especially if your friend is holding back.  


36. Be polite to strangers. Of course, if you are willing to treat others with enthusiasm and help others, that's even better. Sometimes life will add unexpected joy because of this.  


37. For those who are higher than you, it is best to be cautious and not expose yourself too much. Remember to be neither humble nor overbearing.  


38. For those who are lower than you, it is best to be kind, because it is not easy for everyone, and giving roses to others has a lingering fragrance in your hands.  


39. People who bring sunshine, hope and spiritual strength to others will unconsciously surround themselves with a large group of people. So, you can try to be that kind of person.  


40. Do what you can, and you won't lose too much of your favor. You must try your best to help. this point is very important.  


41. When you are with a large group of people, don't put your phone outside.  


42. Don't impose what you think is right on others. People's thoughts are not easily changed, and this will only produce counterproductive effects. If you come across such a person, ignore it.  


43. Don't have the desire to control others' words and deeds, because everyone needs autonomy, and the most unbearable thing is to lose the right to autonomy. If you find that your friend is trying to control your attitude with praise, threats, judgment, indifferent, etc., you should bring it up, or leave, and let him know: this is wrong behavior.  


44. Listen to half of what other people say. There are always a lot of exaggeration and subjective will, not necessarily accurate.  


45. Take the praise and criticism of others lightly, and don't rely on others to build your sense of self. Never lose yourself in any relationship.  


46. ​​No matter how good the relationship is, generally don't do other people's things without authorization. Maybe in his heart, your relationship is not as good as you imagined, and your behavior undoubtedly closed the door of the other party's heart.  


47. When someone confides in you, know that it's not that they don't know how to solve the problem, they just want some reassurance and attention. Mistakes are common among people.  


48. The intimate relationship between men and women usually follows the principle that if they get together quickly, they will also break up quickly. And the relationship that can really last for a long time is usually the mutual attraction of souls, coupled with patient maintenance.  


49. No matter how good the relationship is, it needs regular maintenance and deepening, otherwise it will change.  


50. Put the most energy on improving your value: whether it is appearance and figure, talent learning, or personality charm. This is the basis of interpersonal attraction.  


51. Don't promise others anything easily. Once promised, you must do it to maintain your reputation.  


52. There are all kinds of small circles in life all the time. Don't be sad if you don't fit in. For you, these are passing days and only seem important for a certain period of time. The reason may be your vanity or loneliness. The same is true for many people, for you, it is just a nodding acquaintance for a while. Don't take it too seriously, and don't be afraid of offending people.  


53. In the workplace, reliability is a gold medal of interpersonal relationship more than anything else.  


54. You can pursue the trend, but don't be biased by the trend that others tout; you can pursue gregariousness, but don't stop studying hard because of your roommate's opinion. Your life is still your own, and others will not bear the bitter fruit for you.  


55. People who are not psychologically mature tend to place too much emphasis on the so-called interpersonal relationship, so that they spend too much energy on useless work.  


56. The "social circle" is useless. Those casual acquaintances are not worth the painstaking maintenance.  


57. Many times jokes can lead to bad results. A joke that is acceptable to you may sound insulting to others. Or you clearly regard the other party as a friend, but he feels that you are looking down on him. Joking is a difficult skill.  


58. Except for your parents, no one actually cares about you so much, so don't feel sad because others are neglected. Likewise, don't show off too much when you're proud - you might piss off some acquaintances.  


59. In general, the daily attitude is best to be low-key, because people like people who are modest and don't boast about themselves..  


60. Be humble. 

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6 truths about interpersonal communication

Friday, September 15, 2023

6 truths about interpersonal communication

1.    You offend people not because you say something wrong, but because you say something right.

2.    Try not to educate or persuade others. If you persuade someone who is poorer than you, he will only think you are lying to him and will not believe you.

3.    "Sad" is because you do not respect the principle of value exchange, "angry" is because you have not experienced enough, "complain" is because your current status is too bad, and you have not tried your best to reverse the situation. This is the essence.

4.    The essence of interpersonal relationship is not to help each other, but to use each other. For example, a person will not repay you because you are kind to him. However, he will definitely bow to you because you hold the "good" he wants in the future.

5.    When we are still weak, if anyone doubts us, don't refute, let alone persuade others to change their views, this is simply unrealistic. If you want to do it, do it without talking to anyone. Let the results speak for themselves.

6.    If you want to stay focused, ask yourself two questions when encountering messy issues: First, does this matter have anything to do with me? Second, can I get money? You will find that 99.99% of things can be thrown aside. Simple and crude, but very effective.

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Friday, September 8, 2023

The gap between others and you is not at work but after work

When I went to work a few days ago, I heard a worker tell her own experience. Although it was a very ordinary story, I found it very inspirational.

She is from an ordinary family, and she is the only child in the family, so her parents hope that she can have more children, saying that one child is too lonely, and in addition to the pressure of life now, the pressure on children will be even greater in the future. She herself said that she was too foolish and filial. In order to listen to her parents, she ignored the opposition of her husband's family and had more children.

For the sake of the family, she and her husband work hard every day. When she goes to work, she does not take leave, because she feels that if she takes a day off, she will not be paid a day, and she does several jobs every day. Go to the breakfast shop in the morning to sell breakfast for an hour, and then go to work. At night, she goes back to as delivery driver after work, and she can only go home to rest at one or two o'clock in the evening. What she said was that a person's greatest confidence is to have money, even if you have a husband and someone to help you, but you have to know how to make money yourself, others are unreliable, only the money you earn can be at ease when you spend it with your heart.

After their hard work, she is living a good life now, and the days are getting better and better. Although it is not as difficult as before, she still works hard, is more diligent, and insists on being a delivery driver after returning from work every day. From her confident and optimistic smile, it can be seen that she is living a good life and happy now.

As for other people, as long as they are diligent, they will have a good life. In fact, there is not much difference between each of us. What really widens the gap is everyone's cognition, ability to do things, and attitude.

Each of us has our own thoughts and opinions on everything, which depends on everyone's cognition. Cognition is the ability to recognize one thing. For example, there is a big cognitive gap between old people and young people, young people and children, farmers and workers, workers and leaders, leaders and children. Only when your cognition reaches a certain level can you change your identity and status. Everyone who wants to change himself must first improve his cognitive ability. Only when his cognition changes can he change himself. It’s very simple, if we ordinary people don’t learn to change and improve our cognitive ability, we may go on like this for the rest of our life, and you can see what you will be like in the future when you look up. What heights can be achieved. If someone makes a change, or encounters something beyond your ability, force you to change. These two types are called active change and passive change. It is difficult for most people to take the initiative to make changes, because they are used to staying in their comfort zone, not because they are forced to a dead end, and few people make changes. After all, people like a comfortable living environment and enjoyment.

You must have a good attitude when you do things. Attitude determines the height of a person. No matter how stupid or poor you are, as long as you are willing to work hard, having a good attitude will make you better and better. Even if we are at the bottom of society, as long as we have a good attitude, do things seriously, and work hard to do well. As long as you're willing to keep trying, It’s all going to get better. No matter what you do, attitude is very important. It's like when we go to work every day, some people feel that they will work hard if they are urged by the leader, and they will just muddle along for a day if they don't care about it. They always feel that they are doing things for the boss.  But how many people have thought about it, they can use work as a platform, they can change the boss, and the boss can change them, but they must always understand the truth that they can make themselves stronger and improve their ability on this platform. If you are willing to work hard and what you get is not just a salary, but more salary, higher position, and stronger ability. In the same way, you are unwilling to work hard. Wherever you go, you will take the lowest wage and do the hardest work.

The last one is ability. Ability must be based on the previous two points. If you do not have a correct understanding, you will have many detours and will always stay where you are. No matter how hard you work and how hard you make progress, you will not make great progress. You have high awareness, but without effort, without a right attitude there will be no progress. You can see that something is very profitable, but if you don't take action yourself, you will never make this money. You know that doing a job can improve your ability, but if you are unwilling to work hard, you will not improve.

The gap between others and you is getting bigger and bigger when you are off work. After you get off work, you go to play, hang out, lie down to play games, sleep, others work hard every day, study hard, and others get good grades. You always feel that others are lucky Okay, but you will never understand how much others have paid behind their backs and others use the time you squander to improve themselves. Time is the same for everyone, every day is 24 hours, but others spend their time on meaningful things, but you let your own time go to waste, this is what separates you from others.

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Some insights from life:

Listen: Podcast

Friday, September 1, 2023

Some insights from life:

1. Have you noticed that when people start to show off, it is often the beginning of disasters. It means that when people are in good times, they don't have to show off too much.

We should all remain low profile. After all, there may be people in this world who really want you to live well, but most people don't want you to live better than him.

2. If one day the great luck arrives and makes you rich, you must always remind yourself: don’t forget the way you ran without an umbrella in those days of heavy rain; How did you survive the days of rain? Remember to help those who are running in the heavy rain and those who are wandering around, hungry and cold, help them, and love them


3. I have always liked this saying: the noblest punishment is silence, and the most reserved revenge is ignorance. Less entanglement in bad things, less anger for unworthy people, and make your life more exclusive. Learn to let go in order to move forward better. This world may seem complicated, but in essence it is still your world alone.

There are too many surprises in this world, and some things are simply not worthy of possession.

Have your emotions. Life is an experience, please enjoy it.

4. I saw this sentence that inexplicably encouraged me, and I hope it also encouraged you: I know you are very tired recently, it is the invisible physical and mental exhaustion, but please perseveres. Even if no one cares about it, it doesn't matter if your skills are inferior to others, don't let restlessness and anxiety ruin your lack of enthusiasm and concentration. Don't be greedy, we can't have everything, and don't be discouraged, we can't have nothing.


5. You don't have to compare yourself to others. You don't become an ostrich if you are a bat by nature. 

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Listen: Podcast

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