Life advice: Don't live a "temporary life."

In daily life, you may recognize the following scenarios:

• "When I have money, I'll buy the house I love and decorate it the way I want."
• "When I finish this project and make a lot of money, I'll take my parents and kids on a trip."
• "When I lose weight, I'll wear this dress and look beautiful."

We often live in a state of "waiting," constantly postponing living fully in the present. This creates a mindset of "temporary living," where we treat each stage of life as something to get through rather than experience fully. We subconsciously believe these moments don't matter because we're just "passing through."

Living temporarily is a form of neglecting oneself. A quote resonates: "Don’t always prepare, forget to start." Life isn’t about waiting for everything to be perfect before living. It’s important to enjoy and invest in the present, whether it’s buying a small bouquet or enjoying a favorite book. These small moments create meaning and joy in life.

Many people live with the idea that they will only truly begin to enjoy life once certain conditions are met—such as when they have more money, when they achieve a certain goal, or when they change their physical appearance. This type of thinking leads to neglecting the present moment, putting off joy and fulfillment until some imagined future.

However, this waiting game often results in the present being lived in a state of "temporary" or "makeshift" living, where we don’t fully invest in our current circumstances or our personal well-being. By thinking that the current phase of life doesn’t matter or isn’t worth our full attention, we end up not engaging with the present in a meaningful way. This becomes a form of self-neglect, as we devalue our current reality while waiting for something else to happen in the future. In doing so, we miss out on opportunities to create joy and fulfillment right now.

The danger of living in this "temporary" mode is that it becomes a cycle. The more we live with the mindset that “someday” will be better, the less we focus on making the most of today. This leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, as we put off living fully in the moment. It also leads to an emotional state of always being in limbo, never quite reaching the contentment that comes from living in the present.

A key element of breaking free from "temporary living" is recognizing that each moment, even those that may seem insignificant or transitional, has value. Life isn’t about waiting for everything to align perfectly before enjoying it. The key to happiness and personal growth lies in embracing the present, taking action, and finding fulfillment in what we have right now. Even small acts of care—whether it's buying a flower, reading a book, or decorating a temporary space—can bring meaning to our daily lives and remind us that our present is worth investing in.

Furthermore, living in the present moment requires us to be mindful of how we approach life’s challenges. Instead of focusing solely on a distant future, it’s important to be conscious of the fact that every day, no matter its circumstances, is part of the greater journey of life. When we treat each day as significant and worthy of attention, we begin to cultivate a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Living in the present also contributes to our personal growth and potential. When we treat our daily lives as important, we naturally invest more in ourselves—whether that means working toward our goals, nurturing relationships, or taking care of our physical and mental health. The alternative, which is to live in a state of "temporary" existence, is to ignore our potential, believing that our future selves will somehow magically fix the gaps left by neglecting our present.

Ultimately, living a life that isn't “temporary” means not postponing happiness or fulfillment. It means making the most of every moment, recognizing that life is always ongoing, and the only time we truly have is now. Rather than waiting for conditions to be perfect, we should focus on creating a meaningful and enjoyable present, knowing that doing so will lay the foundation for a brighter, more satisfying future.

In essence, to respect and honor our lives, we must reject the notion of "temporary living." Each day, with all its imperfections and challenges, deserves our full attention and care. By doing so, we not only improve our current state of well-being, but we also build the resilience, skills, and mindset needed to navigate whatever comes next in our lives.

Read Also:

The Friends We Lose in Middle Age

22 Super Practical Tips for Social Interactions

Navigating social relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of life. The difficulties and frustrations we face often stem from how we interact with others. Many social pitfalls could be avoided with better understanding and awareness. Here are 22 practical social tips that follow human behavior principles to help you build quality relationships and grow as a person.

1.    Wait for others to finish speaking: Interrupting others can cause misunderstandings. It's important to listen and think before responding, which shows both wisdom and good manners.

2.    Use polite phrases regularly: Saying "thank you," "sorry," and "you're welcome" helps maintain respectful interactions. Politeness is a reflection of good character.

3.    Support others when they self-deprecate: If someone makes a self-deprecating remark, offer encouragement rather than mocking them. This builds rapport and fosters a positive atmosphere.

4.    Order confidently at a restaurant: Avoid saying "anything is fine" when ordering. Being decisive reflects confidence and ensures smoother interactions.

5.    Don't constantly look at your phone during social gatherings: Engaging with others in the moment is a sign of respect. Constant phone use creates distance and discomfort.

6.    Avoid exchanging secrets for friendship: Secrets are burdensome and can break friendships once revealed. Healthy relationships are built on trust, not secrecy.

7.    Help within your limits: Offer help when you can, but don’t overextend yourself. Giving thoughtful, reasonable assistance is appreciated more than overcommitting.

8.    Don’t be a source of negativity: Negative emotions drain others. Strive to be a positive influence and avoid complaining, which only adds stress to those around you.

9.    Give others space to speak: Don't dominate conversations. Allow others to take the lead, which shows your interest and builds goodwill.

10.  Reject requests clearly and politely: Be direct when declining requests to avoid confusion or wasted time. Ambiguous refusals can cause frustration.

11.  Don’t make decisions for others: Respect people's independence. Offer advice but let them make their own choices to avoid conflicts.

12.  Maintain distance from friends’ friends: Respect your friends' relationships. Overstepping boundaries can disrupt friendships.

13.  Respect others' joy: When someone shares happiness, support their emotions rather than undermining them with criticism or negativity.

14.  Reply promptly to messages: Timely responses, even brief ones, show reliability and thoughtfulness.

15.  Avoid flaunting your abilities: Be modest but confident in your skills. Demonstrating competence without boasting is the mark of a true professional.

16.  Be cautious with excessive flattery: Over-the-top compliments may be insincere or manipulative. Stay alert to potential ulterior motives.

17.  Understand both the good and bad sides of human nature: Human behavior can shift with circumstances. Be mindful of both kindness and potential selfishness.

18.  Take time to build trust, but act quickly when ending relationships: Be cautious about sharing your heart too quickly, but be swift and clear when ending unhealthy relationships.

19.  Practice reciprocity: Mutual respect and gratitude are key to long-lasting relationships. Appreciate others' kindness and offer help in return.

20.  Allow others to "help" you: Asking for assistance can make others feel valued. It strengthens the bond and fosters goodwill.

21.  Don't overthink small interactions: Avoid becoming overly sensitive to small actions or comments. Letting things slide can make relationships smoother.

22.  Be genuine rather than manipulative: People prefer authenticity. Being true to yourself leads to more meaningful, enjoyable connections.

Social interactions are about making others comfortable and enjoying mutual respect. The best social rule is not to repress yourself but to enjoy the process of connecting with others. As Harvey Mackay once said, building relationships is like digging a well—it takes effort, but the rewards are endless.

Read Also:

The Most Comfortable Relationship Is When You Can Talk "Nonsense"

How Talking About Money Reveals a Person's True Character

In The Analects of Confucius (Chapter 4), the phrase "君子喻于义，小人喻于利" (A noble person is guided by righteousness, while a petty person is guided by profit) expresses a fundamental distinction between two types of individuals: those who live their lives by moral principles and those who prioritize personal gain above all else. The idea is simple yet profound: when faced with decisions or dilemmas, a noble person will consider what is morally right, while a petty person will always weigh the situation in terms of profit or loss. This concept can be applied to how we view relationships, business transactions, and even our personal lives.

Money as a Reflection of Character

Money is often considered a reflection of one’s character, and in this sense, it serves as a mirror that reveals what lies beneath the surface. It’s often said that the way a person handles money exposes their true nature. Is it someone who uses money as a tool to help others and enhance their own well-being, or is it someone who hoards and manipulates for personal gain? The actions and decisions surrounding money highlight whether a person is guided by 义 (righteousness) or 利 (profit).

The short story "The Umbrella" by the French writer Guy de Maupassant provides a striking portrayal of how an obsession with money can distort a person’s character and ultimately ruin their life. Madame Oreille, the main character, is a woman who is obsessed with saving every penny, despite her family’s stable financial situation. Her story vividly illustrates the way greed and a focus on material wealth can destroy relationships, happiness, and personal integrity.

Madame Oreille: A Miser’s Story

Madame Oreille is a 40-year-old housewife who lives a comfortable life, yet she is obsessed with saving money to the point of extreme frugality. Her behavior is driven by an overwhelming fear of losing money, which causes constant tension in her household. She keeps strict control over her family’s spending, even going so far as to scrutinize the wages of the servants and deny her husband any money for personal expenses.

The story reveals that despite being financially secure, Madame Oreille treats her money as though it is scarce. She does not allow for any form of indulgence or leisure; instead, she ensures that every cent is accounted for. Her miserly behavior even extends to her husband’s work life. Despite the fact that her husband’s job is secure, she forbids him from buying a new umbrella, insisting that he use an old, patched one, even though it subjects him to ridicule from his colleagues.

Her obsession with saving becomes so extreme that it causes irreparable damage to her relationship with her husband. Madame Oreille’s character becomes twisted as her fixation on money overrides her concern for her husband’s dignity and well-being. Even when her husband insists on purchasing a new umbrella, Madame Oreille begrudgingly buys a cheap one. This umbrella quickly breaks, and her husband’s colleagues continue to mock him. Her response to the situation is not one of empathy or understanding, but of anger and frustration at the loss of money.

The story becomes a commentary on the destructive nature of greed. While Madame Oreille may have started with good intentions, such as wanting to preserve the family’s wealth, her obsession has led her to make selfish, short-sighted decisions. The pursuit of money consumes her life, leaving her unhappy and estranged from the people who matter most to her.

The Irony of Money's Control

Madame Oreille’s life is a tragic illustration of how the desire for money can dominate one’s existence. Her obsession with material wealth blinds her to the true value of life, relationships, and personal fulfillment. Despite her family’s financial stability, she continues to live as though she is in constant danger of poverty. This leads her to make decisions that seem irrational, even when the costs are minimal, simply because she cannot bear the thought of spending money.

In a particularly telling moment in the story, her husband’s umbrella is damaged by his colleagues, and Madame Oreille decides that the best course of action is to file an insurance claim. Instead of accepting the loss and moving forward, she concocts a scheme to claim compensation for a damaged umbrella, even though the incident was clearly not an accident. This act reveals the depths of her desperation to preserve her wealth, as well as her lack of integrity.

Her obsession with money ultimately backfires, as it causes emotional pain for her family, erodes her dignity, and creates a toxic atmosphere at home. Instead of seeing money as a means to improve her quality of life or foster relationships, she sees it as an end in itself, something to be hoarded and protected at all costs.

Money and Character: A Mirror of One’s Principles

Madame Oreille’s story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of greed and the consequences of prioritizing material wealth over human relationships. While money is undoubtedly important in life, it should never be the defining factor of one’s existence. The true measure of a person is not their wealth or financial success, but their integrity, their relationships with others, and their ability to live in harmony with their values.

A person’s handling of money can reveal their deeper principles. Those who view money as a tool to improve life and assist others tend to have a broader, more open-minded perspective. On the other hand, individuals who hoard money and focus solely on accumulating wealth often live in a limited, self-serving way. Their narrow view of the world may prevent them from experiencing the richness of human connection and personal fulfillment.

The Importance of Balance: Money vs. Morality

There is a saying that "钱品便是人品" (a person’s attitude toward money is a reflection of their character). The way a person handles money is often a direct reflection of their broader worldview. Money, in and of itself, is neutral; it can be used for good or ill, depending on the values of the person using it.

Madame Oreille’s story illustrates the dangers of allowing money to dominate one’s life. The obsessive pursuit of wealth, to the detriment of personal relationships and moral principles, leads to a life of bitterness and isolation. The key to a fulfilling life is learning to balance the necessity of money with the importance of relationships, personal integrity, and emotional well-being.

In the end, the true measure of a person’s character is not how much wealth they accumulate, but how they use their resources to enrich their lives and the lives of others. A person who values righteousness over profit, relationships over wealth, and integrity over material success will find greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

Conclusion

Madame Oreille's story is a powerful reminder that while money is essential for survival, it should never be allowed to control one’s life. A person's true character is revealed not by the amount of money they have, but by how they treat others, how they approach life’s challenges, and how they balance the material with the spiritual. Money, like any tool, should be used with wisdom and care. When it becomes an obsession, it leads only to misery. A life well-lived is one where money is seen as a means to an end, not the end itself.

Read Also:

30 Tips for a Minimalist Life