Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

Friday, April 25, 2025

Thriving Through Minimalism: 8 Essential Habits

"People often say that encountering a benefactor can save you from wandering for years in life's twists and turns. In reality, rather than waiting for a benefactor to appear, it's better to become one yourself. Our habits hide our luck and destiny. By adhering to the following 8 minimalist habits, nurturing yourself, you will quietly transform into a formidable person."

1. Simplify Your Sleep Schedule

"People who can't even control their bedtime, how can they control their lives? Early to bed, early to rise; don't let your emotions collapse at night, and you've already won half the battle. Only by resting well at night can you invest more energy into learning, working, and living during the day. Sleeping at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM, consistently for years, if you don't succeed, who will?"

2. Simplify Your Diet

"Everyone loves junk food and fried foods. But remember, you become what you eat. Replace takeout with home-cooked meals, switch bubble tea with fruits, and indulge yourself one day a week while maintaining a healthy diet the rest of the time. You'll radiate with vitality, even saving money on skincare products."

3. Simplify Your Information Intake

"Quality information intake is vital for a healthy brain. Constantly scrolling short videos, indulging in gossip, and consuming low-quality information limits your thinking and perspective, making you susceptible to others' viewpoints. Delete unnecessary apps, mute irrelevant group chats, and turn off app notifications. Spend more time reading books, watching documentaries or movies, and joining high-quality communities to absorb first-hand, quality information. Your mindset will naturally change, and your actions will follow suit, making excellence inevitable."

4. Simplify Your Hobbies

"Everyone experiences fleeting interests, which is fine as long as it's shallow and brief. However, cultivate one or two hobbies deeply to have a mental sanctuary. Immersing yourself in these hobbies can recharge you when life throws challenges your way. Whether it's running, swimming, reading, or walking, hobbies act as mechanisms to enter a state of flow, allowing you to reset and sail again."

5. Simplify Your Social Interactions

"Suggest both introverts and extroverts refuse ineffective social interactions. If a social gathering doesn't provide emotional or beneficial value, politely decline. Reduce contact with people who look down on you, have ulterior motives, especially unfamiliar, annoying relatives, or past relationships. As the saying goes, 'the ability to block' is a person's top skill. Anyone or anything that drains you is not worth your time."

6. Simplify Your Possessions

 

'Any conscious materialist knows that when you possess an object, the object possesses you.' We don't need as much as we think. If your room is filled with rarely used items, there's no space for what you truly need. I regretted not getting rid of a bulky coffee table in the living room sooner. The space suddenly became spacious, allowing me to lay down a carpet, relax, read, binge-watch, and play with family. By letting go of that item, I gained more happiness."

7. Simplify Your Spending

"Spending money brings short-term happiness, while saving money brings long-term joy. When you see something you like, refrain from buying it immediately. Add it to your cart, wait a few days; if you still want it after a while, then go ahead and buy it! Trust me, through a three-tier filtering process, the items you end up purchasing will truly be ones you need and won't regret. By avoiding consumer traps, as your savings grow, you'll have the confidence to try more valuable and meaningful things."

8. Simplify Your Mindset

 When facing complex relationships, encountering bizarre people and situations, be vigilant against emotional drain and avoid being consumed. Stay relaxed, don't rush, and don't be greedy. We can't have everything, but don't worry; we won't have nothing either. As the saying goes, 'You can have a bad experience, but don't indulge in a bad life. Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards; it's always us who play the hand.' Good luck and benefactors won't magically appear. Regardless of the hand we're dealt, as long as we don't give up, we can play a winning hand. We need to polish ourselves day by day, cultivate good habits, and let these habits guide us through life's blind spots. Let's hold onto the vitality that life bestows upon us and live a flourishing life."

Read Also:

30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

Listen: Podcast

Friday, April 18, 2025

Depression Detox: Combat with These 3 Actions

I don't know when it started, but feeling exhausted has become the norm in people's lives. After a busy day, they don't feel like doing anything and just want to lie quietly;

When they go out to eat with their loved ones, they sit there silently, each staring at their phones; When they finally have some free time, their minds are still racing, afraid of missing out on something.

"Everyone is caught in a huge machine, striving to turn time into money, forced to live faster and more efficiently, even surpassing physical limits." Over time, the body naturally starts to malfunction, falling into depression without even realizing it.

Frequently doing these three small things might help you stay away from depression:

1. Regularly disconnecting from the internet and spending time with yourself.

Have you ever had the experience of intending to rest well at night, but as soon as you open your phone, you can't stop?

D shared her story of disconnecting from the internet.

For a period of time, she was constantly attracted by her phone, unconsciously browsing through various information, swiping her fingers across the screen. But these pieces of information were of no help to her work; instead, they distracted her attention and caused her to stumble in her creative process.

Realizing the pain, she decided to reduce her dependence on her phone. So, she set a rule for herself to put down her phone at a fixed time every day, while also logging out of common social media apps.

This ensured that she could focus on her work without external distractions.

Sometimes, she would habitually pick up her phone. But as soon as she saw the login page and realized she had to re-enter her password or verification code, alarm bells would go off in her mind, and she would give up.

This method may seem a bit troublesome, but it is very effective.

Of course, we don't have to disconnect from the internet every day. We can also follow what writer Scott Young wrote: "Give yourself 90 minutes of independent thinking time every seven days, without music, without playing with your phone, just you alone."

When you first try this, you are likely to feel anxious and uneasy, even unable to resist reopening your phone. But once you get used to spending time with yourself, you will feel true peace and relaxation.

Many people mistakenly believe that scrolling through their phones is relaxing, but true relaxation is when the brain stops receiving information.

Information overload can stimulate us, making it difficult for us to sleep or eat well, leading to deeper fatigue and emptiness, which can give rise to feelings of depression. Moreover, most of the information online has nothing to do with our lives; it just adds to our troubles.

Why not return to real-life scenarios through disconnection from the internet, to contemplate, meditate, and feel our own breath?

When you learn to shift your focus back to yourself, to notice the small joys around you, your mental core will become more stable, and your life will improve.

2. Refusing to overwork and not self-exploiting

In the book "Life's Troubles Consultation Room," it is written: "The more serious a person is, the easier it is for them to become depressed."

Being serious is worthy of praising, but too much of anything is not good.

For individuals, learning to take breaks actively is even more important than being immersed in work.

Life is like a rubber band, always stretched tight, and it may break at any moment.

Occasionally slowing down, recharging yourself, and then moving forward can actually be more efficient.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and don't always confront life. In your leisure time, why not listen to music, tend to plants, make yourself a cup of tea, and sit on the balcony soaking up the sun?

These seemingly insignificant things can help us break away from the fatigue of the moment, feel the pleasant side of life, and become less susceptible to depression.

3. Relaxing your mind and practicing a change of mindset.

I was deeply moved by the author Byron Katie's experience.

In her thirties, she suffered from severe depression for ten years, always in a state of mental low. At its worst, she stayed at home and only contacted the outside world by phone. Even when her children passed by her room, they had to tiptoe to avoid being unjustly scolded by her.

But one morning, a revolutionary idea came to her mind: "When I don't believe my thoughts, I am not in pain." She realized that what was making her depressed was not the people or things around her, but her perception of the world.

From then on, whenever she felt sad and conflicted, she would do a "change of mindset" exercise, asking herself: Is that true? Can you be 100% sure that it's true? How do you react when you hold that thought? How would you act if you didn't have that thought?

With each question and answer, many problems were resolved, and life became brighter.Many people have benefited greatly from trying this method.

Every minute, our minds are filled with countless thoughts.

Positive thoughts can calm us down and make us feel abundant and joyful;

Negative thoughts, on the other hand, can bring endless torment, making us feel gloomy and despondent.

One thought can lead to heaven, another to hell. The so-called change of mindset is to replace old thoughts with new ones.

"People can change their lives by changing their mindset, which is the greatest discovery of our generation."

Instead of indulging in the past and being led by negative thoughts, why not carefully examine the reasons behind our unhappiness through questioning?

Finding out where the problem lies is a good start.

Never think that a thought is insignificant; they take root in our minds and subtly influence every action we take.

In today's fast-paced world, almost everyone's life has become tense and busy.

We rush to one goal after another, feeling like life is an endless race.

But if happiness is squeezed out to the point of scarcity, life itself loses its meaning.

There are always times when things don't go well or when we feel tired. In those times, I see it as a vacation given to us by the gods; there's no need to force ourselves to sprint, no need to be nervous, no need to try hard; everything should just go with the flow.

Whether it's regularly putting down our phones, balancing work and leisure, or making a change of mindset a part of our lives, they are all moments of respite for ourselves, not being depleted by stress.

Doing these small things often may not directly bring fame and fortune, but they can help us detach from the weariness of the moment, feel the comfortable side of life, and become less prone to depression.

I hope we can live the life we want and have a vibrant life.

Read Also:

These 10 signs that you are getting better

Listen: Podcast

Friday, April 4, 2025

Midlife Minimalism: 18 Tips for Simplifying Your Life

 "Life is a process of constant choice and continuous abandonment. By letting go, we can unleash the greatest energy from our limited lives."

As we reach middle age, we have experienced the ups and downs of life and witnessed its myriad facets. Upon careful consideration, we finally understand that the highest level of happiness in life can be summed up in just 1 word - simplicity.

Simplifying life is not only about subtracting from it but also about adding to our physical and mental well-being.

So, how can we achieve a minimalist lifestyle and lead a high-quality life?

Today, I will share with you 18 suggestions for a minimalist lifestyle to help you shed burdens and move lightly.

Minimalize Your Energy

As we age, we increasingly realize that "human spirit is limited, and if overused, it will exhaust."

Putting energy into everything will inevitably leave us physically and mentally exhausted.

The way you allocate your energy determines the depth of your life.

1. Avoid Energy Overuse, Focus on 1%

Human energy is easily distracted by trivial matters. However, for the present moment, there is often only one thing that is most important and urgent. To achieve the best results, focus on that 1%.

Only then can you maintain an excellent attitude and face all challenges with ease.

2. Stay Away from Dopamine, Embrace Endorphins

In today's fast-paced life, our time is often stolen by short-term pleasures.

Spending hours on short videos or games can leave us feeling exhausted without accomplishing anything. Instead of indulging in instant dopamine-driven pleasures, try seeking long-term happiness from endorphins.

For example, reading a good book, learning a new skill, or engaging in physical exercise.

Only then can you avoid becoming a prisoner of shallow pleasures and enrich your spiritual world for long-term benefits.

3. Reduce Procrastination, Take More Action

The ancients said: "Think thrice before acting." Thinking three times is to ensure thoroughness in actions, not to create barriers for oneself. Starting to act only at the last moment always leaves us feeling inadequate and unsatisfied with the results.

 

Procrastination-induced contemplation does not help us; it only ties us down. Only by immediately engaging in action can we avoid meaningless procrastination.

Minimalize Your Emotions

"No one can make you unhappy; it is you who chooses to make yourself unhappy."

As we reach middle age, our hearts become more sensitive, often getting upset over trivial matters. Our time and energy are wasted every day in emotional turmoil, unable to break free. Only by simplifying our emotions can we avoid being overwhelmed by negativity.

4. Avoid Easily Labeling Things with Emotions

Many things in life, like a coin, have two sides, with no absolute good or bad. However, we often become anxious early on over something that hasn't been decided yet.

But good things may hide crises, and bad things may contain opportunities. Maintain such a mindset, control emotions, and let things happen naturally.

5. Shift Your Focus Away from Negative Emotions

In life, there are inevitably things, big and small, that upset us. However, some people quickly move on from the same emotions, while others are deeply trapped and unable to escape.

Learning to shift your attention promptly is a good way to overcome negative emotions. Clean your room to dispel emotional clouds; watch a movie to free yourself from emotional control. By breaking free from the emotional quagmire, you will discover more beauty in life when you dare to look up.

6. Dance with Life's Uncertainty

Have you heard this saying: "The greatest certainty in life is its uncertainty"?

Life is unpredictable, and anything can happen.

Therefore, there is no need to worry about the past or be anxious about the future. Face life's ups and downs with a calm mind and embrace its uncertainties with equanimity.

Minimalize Your Material Possessions

Nowadays, living conditions are getting better and better.

We continue to accelerate, but the burden on our shoulders also grows.

Only when we learn to simplify and declutter our material lives can we achieve the most comfortable state of being.

7. Examine Your Needs, Choose Carefully

The value of an item is truly reflected in the person who needs it most. However, faced with a plethora of goods, we are often attracted and distracted. We overlook whether we really need the item. Only when we realize our true needs can we achieve material minimalism at its root.

8.Control Quantity, Ensure Quality

Having the same purchasing power, buying more does not necessarily mean the best deal. Inexpensive items often have short lifespans and low usage frequencies. Within our means, purchase the most desirable, suitable, and high-quality item.

Remember two shopping rules: quality over style, and quality over quantity.

9. Cut Off Attachments, Regularly Declutter

Only when we embark on a major cleaning spree do we realize how much we have "collected." The space occupied by these items also encroaches on our mental space.

The more we are occupied by material possessions, the stronger our sense of lack. Learn to choose and let go of attachments to material items.

Regularly declutter unnecessary items and clear blocked spaces, which is also a way to declutter our inner selves.

Minimalize Your Relationships

In the past, we always hoped to have many people around us, thinking that knowing many people was a sign of social integration.

However, as we have to maintain and manage more and more interpersonal relationships, we realize that overly complicated socializing is not luck but a burden.

Good relationships nurture us, but bad ones burden us.

10. Maintain Boundaries, Stay Within Limits

The so-called sense of boundaries ultimately boils down to moderation. Without a sense of boundaries, social life loses its principles. However, the best relationships are not about boundaries between you and me, but about staying within limits.

When interacting with others, give yourself and others appropriate space, which is a kind of cultivation and wisdom.

11. Regularly Clean Up Your Social Circle

Friends are not about quantity but quality. While we care about the size of our circle, we also need to pay attention to the quality of our circle at all times. If a relationship often makes you uncomfortable, it is necessary to remove unsuitable people from your life.

Those who do not regularly clean up their social circles will waste their entire lives because of the appearance of a speck of dust.

12. Learn to Enjoy Solitude, Cultivate Yourself

We often say: "Your relationship with yourself is your relationship with the world."

 

The reason why we need solitude is to integrate internally, let go of pleasing others, and learn to treat ourselves well. When alone, enjoy the process of returning to life and keep moving forward.

Minimalize Your Diet

Eating is essential for maintaining health.

Many people pursue a lifestyle of "milk tea and cakes during the day, beer and barbecue at night." However, excessive indulgence satisfies momentary desires but burdens the body.

Eating well and simplifying your diet is an attitude toward life and a fundamental act of self-love.

13. Reduce Takeout, Cook Your Own Meals

Pursuing the right lifestyle begins with making changes in your diet. When faced with indecision and hesitation while ordering food on your phone, you add a bit of anxiety to yourself.

By reasonably reducing takeout and trying to cook for yourself, you can enjoy convenient, nutritious meals while saving money and improving your quality of life.

14. Healthy Eating, Balanced Diet

As we reach middle age, our bodies are no longer as resilient as they were when we were young. Eating properly and supplementing our bodies with nutrition has become the hottest topic for middle-aged people.

The key is not to eat whatever you like but to eat a bit of everything.

Fish, meat, eggs, dairy, grains, fruits, and vegetables, combined with fish and shrimp, can provide balanced nutrition and improve bodily functions.

15. Control Desires, Moderate Eating

The most important aspect of a minimalist diet is to control desires.

Especially as we age, if we indulge ourselves in high-fat, high-salt, and high-sugar foods, our bodies will soon raise red flags. Eating smaller, more frequent meals and keeping them light is the healthiest way of life.

Minimalize Your Work

As we enter middle age, our careers reach a critical juncture.

At this time, our physical fitness is not as good as that of young people, and family pressure far exceeds that of young people.

Learning to simplify work, maintaining a good attitude, avoiding self-consumption, and better dealing with middle-aged crises.

 

16. Set Priorities, Distinguish Tasks

Why does it always feel like there's so much work to do, and despite our best efforts, we can't seem to finish it?

That's because we haven't grasped the essence of the work and haven't been able to focus our energy on solving key problems.

Prioritize your work, solve key issues first, and the rest of the work will be easier to handle.

17. Plan Ahead Daily, Control Your Work Pace

Facing work always feels bewildering, not knowing where to start. This is because we lack foresight in our work. Planning and arranging in advance not only allows us to control the pace of our work but also makes the progress of our work orderly.

18. Leave Work Emotions at Work

As we age, we increasingly understand the distinction between work and life. Work-related emotions should be resolved at work, not brought back home to upset family members.

Adjust your emotions promptly, balance work and life.

Playing our roles well, adjusting and transitioning in a timely manner, can make both life and work smooth and fulfilling.

In fact, everyone's real needs are not too many. Ninety-nine percent of things in life often have nothing to do with us.

The essence of life is a process of simplifying and decluttering.

The simpler life is, the happier and more advanced it becomes.


Read Also:

30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

Listen: Podcast

Friday, March 28, 2025

Revitalize: Embracing Exercise for Lifelong Well-being After Middle Age

Have you ever experienced this:

When work stress mounts and you feel restless, going for a run immediately lifts your mood significantly.

Feeling sad and down, struggling to get motivated, breaking into sweat quickly brings relief.

Exercise seems to have a magical effect, releasing stress, relieving boredom, and swiftly lifting you out of emotional turmoil.

Just 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can immediately improve depressive moods and restore a sense of pleasure.

"If you're feeling down, exercising will lift your mood, and that feeling of knowing you're about to get better will completely change your mindset."

As people enter middle age, work, life, and family matters pile up, bringing constant worries.

Instead of feeling lost in emotional turmoil, why not dissipate it through the joy of exercise?

Getting moving is actually the simplest way for us to relieve anxiety and stress.

Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing.

Psychologists have found that exercise has "short-term emotional effects".

Specifically, after exercise, levels of negative emotions like anxiety and depression significantly decrease, while feelings of happiness significantly increase.

This phenomenon is determined by the unique structure of the human body:

When faced with difficulties, the amygdala in the brain continuously releases stress hormones, making us feel nervous and anxious.

Exercise allows the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus in the body to inhibit the excessive reaction of the amygdala, thereby alleviating emotions.

As the saying goes, "Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing."

I once came across a story shared by a netizen, which left a deep impression:

An elder, in his fifties, lost his son.

Unable to accept reality, he was melancholic all day long, shedding tears.

One fine day, the elder's office organized a running event.

His colleagues hoped to change his mood and took the initiative to sign him up and brought him to the event.

After persevering through it, this elder completed the entire run.

Unexpectedly, it was this exhilarating run that began to change his life:

Upon reaching the finish line, he listened to his own heartbeat and felt an unprecedented sense of relaxation.

And all the negative emotions seemed to be temporarily forgotten.

From then on, he started morning runs regularly.

Day after day, he gradually emerged from the pain of losing his son, no longer feeling angry or sad all day long, and even became more emotionally stable than before.

Exercise is an efficient "spiritual detox," evaporating negative emotions along with sweat, refreshing both body and mind.

So, when you're feeling down, why not exercise? Go for a run, punch a bag, kick a ball, swim...

With the rhythmic breathing and stretching of the body, the shackles of emotions will quietly loosen, and everything will return to peace without a fuss.

Finnish scientists have conducted specialized experiments on this:

They found 10 pairs of twins and had one exercise at least twice a week, while the other one did not exercise.

Three years later, it was found that those who exercised every week had clearer thinking, and were better able to cope with stress.

To gain continuous emotional control, one must maintain a long-term exercise habit.

In this way, emotional issues can be addressed from the root.

Middle age is a time when the waves of stress are constantly rising and falling:

The oppression of setbacks in the workplace, pessimism in marriage, and helplessness in life... The waves of emotions challenge our hearts time and time again.

And exercise is the simplest way to improve cognition and manage emotions.

By constantly elevating cognition through exercise, one can truly gain the power to resist the flood of emotions.

In this way, even with the twists and turns of life, we can still find a way out.

Exercise not only heals the present gloomy mood but also provides long-lasting spiritual nourishment.

To manage your emotions through exercise, you may consider the following suggestions:

Choose exercises based on emotions to quickly dispel negativity.

Feeling angry? Try boxing.

Overwhelmed with stress? Try yoga.

Feeling impulsive? Go hiking.

Feeling sad and upset? Dive into the pool.

Maintain a long-term exercise habit to hold the key to emotions.

In addition to short-term emotional relief, making exercise a habit to thoroughly improve cognition and enhance the ability to manage emotions.

Regarding the perseverance of long-term exercise, here are some suggestions:

Exercise at least 3 times a week, each time for about 45 minutes.

Focus on aerobic training, while also incorporating strength training, ensuring a significant increase in heart rate during exercise.

Maintain enthusiasm for exercise and avoid giving up halfway. Here are a few tips to use:

a. Set gradual goals

b. Diversify exercise choices

c. Join a sports groups

Middle age is an age when life is not easy, but we must persevere.

When you encounter setbacks and are filled with sadness, go exercise.

With your head held high, sweat pouring, the haze in your heart will eventually dissipate.

When you feel anxious and stuck in inner conflicts, also go exercise.

Stretch out your arms, keep moving, and all the suppression will vanish with the wind.

When you are self-sufficient and disciplined enough, you will find that there are no hurdles that cannot be overcome and no problems that cannot be solved.

Read Also:

Escaping the Comfort Zone: The Most Toxic Chicken Soup I Ever Had

Listen: Podcast

Friday, February 7, 2025

Golden Years Prep: Three Essentials for Happiness

Recently, I came across a popular video on a certain platform. An 88-year-old ex teacher was interviewed on the roadside: "What are your thoughts on old age?" The elderly person firmly responded, "No surgery, no intubation, no resuscitation. Especially, no admission to the intensive care unit." When asked for the reason, the elderly person said, "At my age, death is inevitable. Resuscitation would not only make me suffer but also waste national resources. These resources are better used to save young people." While the elderly person's open-mindedness is admirable, can their children agree?

"I always tell them, instead of forcibly holding onto your parents' physical bodies, think about the influence your parents had on you. Keeping these good memories is enough." This insightful dialogue garnered millions of likes from netizens.

 "A good death is better than a life of painful lingering" is a deeply rooted concept among countless people. "Longevity" has always been assumed to be the best blessing for the elderly. However, is a long life equivalent to a happy life?

More and more elderly people are beginning to offer "unconventional" answers. I once read a story about a senior who suffered a sudden stroke and was rushed to the hospital. After doctors made every effort to save his life, they managed to bring him back from the brink. However, for the rest of his life, he needed round-the-clock care from medical staff to continue living. In other words, he became a "living dead" person.

Yet, his daughter insisted on not giving up her father's life. As a result, the elderly man spent four years in the ICU before multiple organ failure led to his demise. While the daughter's filial piety is commendable, doctors have a different view: "Although we extended his life, we did not improve his quality of life." "Family members can visit for only one hour a day. What his daughter sees is that he seems happy during that one hour. So, she thinks he's happy every day. But what we see is the patient suffering for the remaining 23 hours."

The daughter of the elderly man was once asked, "Have you ever thought that perhaps your father would prefer to pass away more peacefully?" She replied, "I dare not think about it, nor do I want to. At least for now, I can afford to give him the best treatment, which makes me feel better." Of course, as children, it's very difficult for us to actively give up our parents' lives! As long as we can still save them, we want to keep our parents with us for another day.

But if we look at it from a different perspective, if the elderly person can express their wishes, would they praise their children's filial piety, or would they criticize their children for making them suffer? The elderly person may not bear to make such a choice, but I believe everyone has their own answer in their hearts. Regardless of whether we are willing to admit it, longevity is premised on "health." Otherwise, it's "living in suffering."

In this regard, elderly people often see more clearly than young people. "Many elderly people have been eating medication for a long time, ruining their bodies." Therefore, more and more elderly people are adopting the retirement philosophy of "treating minor illnesses, accepting major illnesses, and not pursuing excessive medical treatment." "The sooner you go, the better. Don't burden your children and end up with nothing."

"Living longer" is becoming easier, but "living well" is becoming more difficult.

Despite advances in medical conditions and improvements in living standards, why are so many elderly people less inclined to "live" now? It's because while society has progressed, elderly care has become more challenging. Foremost among them is the fact that "raising children is no longer a guarantee against old age."

It's not that children don't want to be filial, but they are truly powerless. I once saw a video online. A senior was bedridden for 16 years, and it was his daughter in her fifties who took care of him. Every day, she had to lift him in and out of bed, clean up his waste, bathe him, feed him, give him medicine, and take him for walks... Every day, for 16 years.

This is indeed a perfect example of "raising children to prevent old age."

But what about the other side of the story?

The senior had a pension that could cover most of his living expenses; the daughter retired early, giving up her personal life entirely to care for her father; the son-in-law took on most of the work of earning money and raising children; the daughter's family had no financial pressure from mortgages or car loans; there were other relatives in the family who could occasionally share the responsibility of caregiving.

Behind this "perfect" filial piety are the aggregation of numerous conditions and countless sacrifices. It's difficult to replicate in every family. We always remember "raising children to prevent old age" as a tradition, but forget that "it was a product of a specific era." In the past, medical conditions were poor, and parents generally did not live long.

There were fewer elderly people suffering from dementia or hemiplegia, and caring for them was not as difficult as it is now. Plus, at that time, every family's finances were similar, there were more children, and many women didn't work. "There was not much financial pressure"  making it less difficult to support elderly parents.

But what about now?

For couples with children, life becomes unsustainable if one doesn't go out to earn money. Although the elderly are living longer, they are also plagued by various illnesses, requiring long-term care. Parents, children, work, mortgages, car loans—all these are mountains pressing down on middle-aged people.

This forces children to make sacrifices. Although everyone makes different choices, under the harsh reality, there are always parents who "can't rely on" their children. So, if not relying on children, what about relying on society? Currently, our society's elderly care mainly consists of "home-based care" or "nursing homes."

Elderly people who can take care of themselves mostly choose to stay at home, which is free and saves money. As for the elderly people who are sent to nursing homes, they generally have various illnesses, and they lose some of their ability to care for themselves.

"Not making mistakes" is the caregivers' top priority. "Making the elderly happy" can only be an added bonus. Therefore, the "hardship" in nursing homes does not come from the news about elderly abuse but rather because: under limited manpower conditions, only basic care and some emotional support can be provided to the elderly.

Ensuring that the elderly "stay alive" rather than "live well." As you can see, although medical advances unilaterally extend the lives of the elderly, how they can live well remains a "dilemma." After retirement, some elderly people learn swimming, painting, calligraphy, or singing. Even if their children are not around, their lives are fulfilling and happy.

Happy people are always similar. Many elderly people who have a good late life understand one thing: "Elderly care depends on oneself." Life can never be perfect at any age.

We can always find a lifestyle that suits us better among them. Prepare three savings:

I once saw a sentence online that inspired me: "Elderly care is actually choosing a way to grow old gracefully. There is no limit to the method, and there is no standard answer.

But the most important thing is: always remember to put yourself first."

To spend your old age more comfortably, I suggest everyone include "retirement planning" in their life plan. Starting from now, prepare the following "three savings":

1.Financial savings

The reason why money is important is that it gives the elderly "choices": they can buy what they want to eat, go wherever they want; if their children are not filial, they can hire caregivers to live alone without worrying about their children's faces; and in case of illness, having money in their pockets will ease their minds. When it comes to elderly care, money is definitely more reliable than children.

Many elderly people have been frugal all their lives, just to subsidize their children.

But really don't do this.

You can occasionally help your children in emergencies, but never make it an entitlement. Leave the money to yourself, and let your children take responsibility for their own lives. Taking care of ourselves with money is the greatest help we can give our children.

2.Psychological value savings

Many elderly people have a smooth material life in their old age, but they always feel bitter inside because they base their happiness on "their children's companionship." Why not change your perspective? Treat your old age as your "second life."

Make your own "bucket list," try things you like, and learn to make yourself happy. We've worked hard all our lives, and it's only in our old age that we finally have the "money and leisure." We must make the most of it.

3.Health savings

Undoubtedly, "health" is the most important condition for elderly care. But it's placed last because it's also the most uncontrollable and powerless part for the elderly. No one can stop the aging and deterioration of the body.

So, while your body is still healthy, eat clean food, exercise regularly, and take care of your physical and mental health. Once illness strikes, learn to accept the decline of life naturally. "Treat minor illnesses, accept major illnesses, and avoid excessive medical treatment," allowing life to end gracefully and gently.

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Friday, January 3, 2025

Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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Friday, December 27, 2024

Six Habits to Thrive in the New Year

In life, happiness and sorrow coexist; joy and sadness walk hand in hand. No one's life is completely smooth sailing. However, we must believe that the current difficulties will pass, and what lies ahead in our future will be joy and happiness. In the new year, each of us should care more about ourselves. Starting with small things and making the best use of the present is the best way to make life more beautiful. Today, I'm sharing six good habits to help us embrace the new year and live a more fulfilling life.

1.Think Less

People without anxiety aren't without it because they are solving the problems causing anxiety. The most effective way to eliminate anxiety is quite simple: to immediately do what causes your anxiety. Often, the more you think, the more anxious you become. No matter how big the problems in life, excessive worry only makes the situation worse. Life presents challenges; everyone faces various pressures. In the New Year, what we truly need to do is to reduce our worries and take more practical action. Remember, the true way to change things is through practical action.

2.Be Optimistic in Everything

If a person's heart is filled with clouds of worry, life will inevitably be full of obstacles. If you live with negative emotions, not only will you feel unhappy, but you won't be able to have a positive impact on others. Worries come from within. To live comfortably, one must positively interpret and understand life. We have many choices in life. To stay optimistic, realize that many people in the world face greater difficulties than you. Face life with a mindset that 'as problems arise, solutions arise', then every day will be filled with beautiful scenes.

3.Find Happiness in Life

In life's journey, there's an endless stream of tasks. If your heart is full of anxiety, happiness will stay far away. When feeling exhausted, stop and take a break. Everyone faces difficulties and grievances; continuous tension will undoubtedly rob life of its joy. The writer Gogol once said, "Happiness prolongs life." Happiness is the vitality of body and mind, hope and belief, confidence in the present and future, and faith in all progress. No matter the situation, with a happy attitude, life will become more fulfilling.

4.Follow a Regular Diet

Food plays a crucial role in life. In daily diet, the balance between meat and vegetables is crucial, with more fresh vegetables. Many health experts also advise: "Eat well for breakfast, eat until you're full for lunch, eat less for dinner." Oily foods and irregular eating habits are not good for health. Reduce meat intake, eat more vegetables, and keep food consumption to about 70% full.

5.Work Diligently

"Life doesn't have too late a start; it's just too lazy to fulfil it." Laziness will consume a person's willpower and enthusiasm, leading to inaction and feelings of defeat. No matter what you do, it doesn't depend on timing, but on whether you are willing to put in the effort. In the new year, working diligently and completing the tasks assigned by your superiors will not only help you earn more but also earn recognition from your boss. Those who are too lazy will find it difficult to lead a good life. If you want to live better, in the new year, make sure to be proactive.

6.Exercise a Little More

We all know the benefits of exercise, but very few actually put it into action. Many people believe that exercise will make them tired; hence they refuse to do it. But perhaps you're not aware that not exercising will make you more tired. People who rarely exercise feel back pain after doing physical activities and feel out of breath after walking a bit. These are signs of a lack of exercise. In the new year, don't hesitate anymore. Start now and create an exercise plan for yourself. By persisting in exercising, you will have a healthy body. Only with good health can life be more beautiful. Time can't be reversed, and moments can't be stopped. I hope in the days ahead, you will strive forward. Let's start with these small habits and shape a brand new self.

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Friday, November 22, 2024

Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old


Time passes like flowing water, never waiting for anyone. Winter goes, spring arrives, and years swiftly slip by, with a person's life only comprising around thirty thousand days. The ruthless edge of time leaves numerous marks of the years on people. Imperceptibly, we too age alongside.

As we age, we gradually understand that there aren't many essential things in life.

Maintain Emotional Balance and Sustain Health

Humans experience various emotional fluctuations, where some might erupt in anger while others remain calm. Life is a journey where one encounters various people and situations, and not everyone can understand you. Growing older, we come to realize that a broad mind resolves matters smoothly and a calm heart fosters harmonious relationships. Prioritizing emotional care and sustaining health is more critical than anything, as life is fleeting.

Stay Optimistic and Positive Towards Everything

It's said that the heart is the lamp in a person's body; when the heart is dark, the world appears dark, but with a bright heart, the world is illuminated. Life encounters many unexpected situations. Ups and downs are the norm, and no one has a smooth journey. Some things bring sheer joy, while others leave one feeling vexed. Whether good or bad, it's important to learn to be positive and optimistic, facing life's fluctuations with composure. "A small heart makes big problems, a big heart makes small problems." Learn to accept everything, not be disturbed by difficulties, and not be troubled by trifles. Learn to let go of things that need to be released. With age, learn to free your mind.

Refine Each Day, Embrace Old Age Calmly

Life is not as beautiful as you imagine, nor as bad as you fear. Previously, we lived for others, carrying all the burdens, but now we learn to travel light and live for ourselves. Life, whether in death or life, seems passive. Even though life appears to offer many choices, it often lacks genuine options. Nevertheless, life has passed in this manner. As we age, we gradually understand the importance of exploring our interests, finding a spiritual belonging. Approach each day earnestly and embrace old age calmly.

Simplify Your Social Circle, Appreciate Solitude

Solitude is a form of self-indulgence. With age, we need to learn to reduce our social circle and savor the beauty of spending time alone. The circle isn't about quantity but quality. To broaden our horizons, we need to distance ourselves from limited circles. If we wish to grow faster, we need to bid farewell to friends who waste our time. Only when we streamline our social circle do we understand that not every circle benefits us, and not every friendship is worth deep connections. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory and appreciate the present moment. By simplifying the intricate, we grasp our remaining life. By focusing more on ourselves, our inner self becomes richer, and happiness follows suit.

Cherish Friendship, Maintain Connection

As the years go by, looking back, one realizes there aren’t many friends truly worthy of praise. Those false friendships have long faded with time.

After going through half a lifetime, only now have I come to understand that in this world, one should maintain connections; the bonds in our hearts should be cherished. The journey through most of life is not easy, not everyone can enter our lives, and not everyone is worthy of continuous contact.

Choose friends who stand the test of time and align with our values. The value of a friend lies in their quality, not quantity. One or two sincere friends who treat us genuinely are worth more than many insincere ones.

Having one confidant in life is more than enough. To become true friends to each other is indeed not easy.

Understanding Children, Maintaining Equanimity

Life is an ever-evolving journey, especially concerning the relationship with our children. As time passes, we grow old while they gradually mature.

They are no longer the unknowing children who needed our guidance. We must learn to let go, understand our children, comprehend the difficulties of their growth, and maintain a balanced mindset.

We shouldn’t interfere with our children’s choices but offer appropriate support. Understanding children requires acceptance. Maintaining equanimity is an act of wisdom.

May we preserve a balanced mindset, with fewer expectations and more tolerance. Let's smile at the future and treat the gradual aging process kindly.

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