Beyond Sleep and Exercise: The Real Way to Protect Your Life in Your 40s

As we hit our 40s, something shifts. We begin to take health more seriously—not just out of vanity, but out of a growing awareness of our mortality. Many start yoga classes, buy herbal teas, or prioritize naps. But despite good intentions, these efforts often fizzle out.

So what’s the real way to take care of yourself in midlife?

The truth is, it’s not just about sleep and exercise. The most powerful ways to protect your well-being in your 40s and 50s are psychological, behavioral, and social. Here are three game-changing strategies:

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1. Don’t Delay Medical or Mental Health Care

We often hear stories of people ignoring early warning signs—brushing off symptoms, delaying checkups, avoiding procedures. Take the tragic case of A. At 40, she passed away from late-stage ovarian cancer after ignoring a treatable cyst for over a decade. She postponed treatment again and again—because of work, fear of inconvenience, or worries about insurance. Despite having the means to seek better care, she didn’t. By the time she acted, it was too late.

Lesson: Stop putting things off. That includes physical checkups and mental health support. Depression, anxiety, and chronic stress can be just as deadly as untreated illness. Don’t wait until burnout, breakdown, or diagnosis forces your hand. Your health is not a chore—it’s your foundation.

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2. Learn to Unburden Yourself

We often pride ourselves on being strong. We bottle up emotions, refuse to ask for help, and keep going until we collapse. But hardening yourself doesn’t make you tough. It makes you vulnerable—to disease, burnout, and emotional breakdowns.

In the Japanese film My Husband Got Depression, the protagonist silently suffers under job pressure until he breaks. His recovery only begins when his wife steps in and helps him slow down.

What you can do:

• Listen to feedback: If others say you look unwell or ask if you’re okay, don’t brush it off.

• Ask for help: Share responsibilities, speak up when overwhelmed.

• Prioritize self-care: Get regular physicals and mental health check-ins. Say no. Take breaks.

You are not weak for needing support. You are wise for seeking it early.

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3. Discharge Emotional Pressure Regularly

Even the most resilient people carry invisible weight. And if we don’t release it, it festers—leading to anxiety, insomnia, or even illness.

One woman, nicknamed X, survived a mental health crisis not through medication or drastic change, but through a simple ritual: lying on the grass in a park once a week. Sunlight, quiet, and space to breathe helped her recover from a period of intense stress and family hardship.

Try this:

• Go outdoors regularly.

• Journal your thoughts or sing, draw, take hot showers—find a healthy outlet.

• Avoid doom-scrolling or constant negative news.

• Adjust your physical and social environments to be more soothing.

• Build small, positive routines that bring joy.

Releasing negative emotions isn’t weakness—it’s emotional hygiene.

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BONUS: The Underrated Health Secret—Social Connection

Surprisingly, research shows that stable, positive social relationships are as vital to health as diet and exercise. Harvard's 80-year-long study on happiness found that people with strong social ties live longer, are healthier, and feel more fulfilled.

Loneliness, on the other hand, is deadly. Chronic isolation increases the risk of heart disease, depression, and even early death. Some researchers say loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Even light socializing—playing cards, taking walks, chatting with a neighbor—can have immense benefits. So if you want to live longer, don’t just eat well—connect well.

But a word of caution: For introverts, forced socializing can be draining. Find the rhythm and relationships that suit you. The goal is meaningful connection, not constant interaction.

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The Bottom Line

Your 40s and 50s are not the beginning of the end—they're the prime of self-awareness. But to thrive, you must let go of outdated habits:

• Stop postponing health decisions.

• Stop carrying everything alone.

• Stop burying your emotions.

Instead:

• Take charge of your health early.

• Ask for help when you need it.

• Let yourself rest, connect, and reset regularly.

Life doesn't ask you to be perfect. It just asks you to show up for yourself—consistently and with care.

Because the best way to cherish your life isn't just more sleep or stricter workouts. It’s being fully present, emotionally honest, and socially connected.

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Don't Waste Your Prime Years: Make the Most of Ages 25–35

Your 20s and early 30s often feel like a blur—fast-paced, filled with change, and occasionally overwhelming. But the decade between 25 and 35 is one of the most critical periods in your life. It’s when your decisions—about health, work, growth, and mindset—can lay the foundation for the next 40 years. Here's how to make the most of it:

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1. Prioritize Your Health with Regular Exercise

At 25, you may feel invincible. But research shows it's the tipping point between wellness and the early signs of chronic issues. A study found that many people start shifting from "healthy" to "sub-healthy" status around this age—largely due to sedentary lifestyles.

Take a cue from this person, though frail in his youth and nearly killed by illness in his 30s, he recovered and committed to daily walking. It seemed simple, but the consistent movement gave him energy, strength, and the stamina to handle a demanding political career. Over nine years, he rose ten ranks to become a celebrated official.

Like French physician Tissot said, “Exercise can replace many drugs, but no drug can replace exercise.” Want long-lasting vitality? Start moving consistently now.

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2. Invest in Yourself—Time and Money

You’re likely early in your career during these years. It’s tempting to save every cent. But smart investments in yourself offer compounding returns.

A story from entrepreneur illustrates this well. He hired two new employees, Z and M, who both lived far from the office. Z refused to rent closer due to the high cost, while M chose to live nearby and used the saved commute time to study. In three years, M earned his CPA certification and doubled his income. Z, still commuting four hours a day, barely got a raise.

The difference? M chose to value time over short-term savings. Z valued money over opportunity. Ten years later, the gap would be exponential.

Spend money on books, courses, and environments that nurture growth. What you put into yourself now determines your worth later.

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3. Read Regularly to Keep Your Mind Sharp

We live in an era of constant change. New technologies, industries, and systems evolve faster than ever. To stay competitive, you must be a lifelong learner.

Take Meituan founder Wang Xing. He’s described as a “deep learning machine.” Wang owned multiple Kindles—one for home, one for the office, and one for travel—so he could read anytime. Despite facing multiple startup failures, his relentless learning helped him stay ahead and eventually succeed.

In today’s world, learning isn’t a one-time task. It’s a continuous journey. Read widely—about your field, psychology, history, tech, and more. Let books reshape your thinking.

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4. Remove the Pedestals—Stop Idolizing Others

Self-doubt is common in your late 20s and early 30s. You meet impressive peers with Ivy League degrees or work for top firms. It’s easy to feel lesser-than.

You might skip applying for a dream job out of fear of competition. Or freeze up around senior managers. This isn’t humility—it’s misplaced awe.

“De-glorifying” others, means stripping away the filters and seeing people as they are: humans, like you, with flaws and insecurities. That impressive coworker? They may struggle with confidence too. The intimidating executive? They were once uncertain in your shoes.

Stop putting others on pedestals. Instead, elevate yourself. The sooner you shift from admiration to aspiration, the faster you’ll grow.

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5. Embrace Trial and Error—Build Anti-Fragility

There’s a rising trend of young people returning to the countryside to start businesses. To many, it seems like escape from urban pressure.

A professor argues that the 25–35 period is the best time to try and fail. The more diverse your experiences, the stronger your understanding of the world. Trying a new job, launching a side hustle, traveling solo, starting a podcast—each attempt adds depth and resilience.

Think of every mistake not as failure but as resistance training for life. The more you experience, the more adaptable you become. You’re not supposed to have everything figured out. You’re supposed to explore.

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6. Choose Long-Term Growth Over Short-Term Pleasure

We live in the age of “screen addiction.” From endless scrolling to binge-watching, we're hooked on instant hits of dopamine.

An experiment with monkeys showed that when rewarded with juice every time a light turned on, they became obsessed with the light and anxious when it didn’t yield more juice. Their joy turned into frustration.

We’re not so different. We chase likes, notifications, and temporary highs, but the crash follows soon after.

Instead, learn to delay gratification. Instead of watching another reel, read a chapter. Instead of gaming all night, build your portfolio. The rewards won’t come today—but they’ll be worth it in five years.

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Final Thought: Your Future Is Built Now

Psychologist Meg Jay said, “80% of life’s defining moments happen before age 35.”

Don’t treat your 25–35 decade as a warm-up. It is the main game. How you invest your time now—whether in health, learning, mindset, or action—sets the course for your next decades.

So start small. Start today. And build a life your future self will thank you for.

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In the new year, prioritize your health

Every new year, we make wishes. Looking at the most popular aspirations, success is what we seek, happiness is what we wish for. However, without health, success, wealth, happiness, and dreams are all empty promises. In life, health is the most precious wealth.

In the new year, no matter how busy or tired you may be, please remember to treat yourself kindly and listen to your body's signals, taking better care of yourself.

Truly, nothing is more important than health.

Good health is everyone's desire.

Every New Year, we receive many greeting cards from friends. Over the years, the box can no longer be closed. One day, when opened, there was a sudden desire to tally up the wishes to see what heartfelt blessings people have on our most festive days.

The "Wishing you prosperity" cards were gently set aside. Wealth is important, but certainly not the most important. The "Wishing your dreams come true" cards were dismissed with a smile. According to psychological studies, the average person has about sixty thousand thoughts a day. If all those wishes came true, wouldn't chaos reign? As for the "Wishing you laughter always" cards, well, those were quite fitting.

The most repeated auspicious phrase was — "Wishing you good health!"

Health is the most sought-after wish. But health doesn't fall from the sky, nor is it achieved simply by wishing. Like any other good thing in the world, health is fought for, built, nurtured, and defended.

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The Most Life-Shortening Habits: It's Not Smoking or Drinking but These Three

There is an alarming decline in health among urban dwellers. It draws attention to modern lifestyle habits that are increasingly detrimental to both physical and mental well-being. Here’s a deeper look into the key points and recommendations:

1. Chronic Sleep Deprivation: The Silent Killer

My uncle suffered severe health complications due to long-term sleep deprivation. He worked nearly a decade on only 4-5 hours of sleep per night and developed acute liver failure at the age of 36, a condition with an 85% mortality rate. His case illustrates how ignoring the need for proper rest can lead to life-threatening outcomes.

Scientific Insights

• During sleep, DNA repair mechanisms are highly active, helping to counteract the daily wear and tear on the body's cells.
• Research from Molecular Cell shows that high-quality sleep of at least 6 hours optimizes the body's repair processes. However, sleeping less than 4 hours severely disrupts this balance, leading to accumulative DNA damage that increases the risk of cancer, heart disease, and neurodegenerative disorders.

Consequences of Poor Sleep

• Cognitive Decline: Damaged neurons lead to memory issues and reduced mental clarity.
• Metabolic Issues: Impaired digestion and abnormal metabolism cause obesity and diabetes.
• Reproductive Challenges: DNA damage in reproductive cells can lead to fertility issues.
• Heart Problems: Prolonged poor sleep increases the risk of heart disease and hypertension.

Recommendations for Better Sleep

• Establish a consistent bedtime and wake-up routine.
• Avoid using electronic devices before sleep to reduce blue light exposure.
• Replace overstimulating nighttime habits (e.g., gaming, scrolling social media) with calming activities like reading, taking a warm bath, or listening to relaxing music.
• Strive for a minimum of 6 hours of quality sleep every night.

2. The Toxic Impact of Negative Emotions

The second harmful habit is the failure to manage negative emotions. The article recounts the story of a woman who developed breast cancer largely due to her tendency to harbor resentment and stress. Prolonged negative emotions—anger, sadness, jealousy—can significantly harm physical health.

Scientific Backing

• Nobel laureate Elizabeth Blackburn discovered that stress accelerates the shortening of telomeres, which protect DNA. Shortened telomeres are linked to faster aging and higher risks of chronic diseases.
• Studies also show that chronic stress and emotional suppression can weaken the immune system, disrupt hormonal balance, and increase vulnerability to diseases.

Real-World Examples

• Caregivers under constant stress exhibited accelerated aging due to shortened telomeres.
• Conversely, those who practiced mindfulness and meditation saw improvements in telomere length, effectively slowing biological aging.

Recommendations for Emotional Health

• Practice mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress.
• Engage in activities that promote relaxation and joy, like yoga, art, or spending time in nature.
• Seek therapy or counseling if negative emotions become overwhelming.
• Cultivate gratitude and positivity, focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

3. Prolonged Sedentary Behavior: The Lifestyle Disease

Modern jobs often demand hours of sitting, leading to what experts call "sitting disease." The article recounts the story of a young woman diagnosed with “dead butt syndrome” (gluteal amnesia) and a retiree who suffered life-threatening blood clots after prolonged sitting. These stories underscore the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle.

Health Risks of Prolonged Sitting

• Muscle Atrophy: Inactive gluteal muscles weaken, leading to imbalances that strain other body parts like the back and knees.
• Blood Clots: Reduced circulation increases the risk of deep vein thrombosis, which can be fatal if clots travel to vital organs.
• Chronic Diseases: Sitting for long periods contributes to heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and even cancer.

Supporting Research

The World Health Organization lists prolonged sitting as one of the top ten causes of death and disease globally. A study equates the harm of sitting for one hour to smoking two cigarettes, reducing life expectancy by 22 minutes.

Recommendations for an Active Lifestyle

• Take a 5-minute break every hour to stretch or walk.
• Use standing desks or incorporate activities like walking meetings.
• Integrate exercise into daily routines, such as cycling to work or taking the stairs.
• Pursue hobbies that require movement, like dancing, gardening, or playing sports.

Final Reflections: Health as the Foundation of Life

The article concludes with a powerful message: Health is the foundation of everything. While the modern world pushes people toward endless hustle and ambition, neglecting health can have irreversible consequences.

Key Takeaways

• Work-life Balance: No job is worth sacrificing your health. Your body is irreplaceable, but work can always be delegated or replaced.
• Preventive Care: Regular exercise, healthy sleep, and positive emotional habits can drastically improve both the quality and length of life.
• Self-love and Awareness: Prioritize self-care and listen to your body. Small, consistent changes can prevent future health crises.

In a fast-paced era, it’s easy to be consumed by external pressures, but true fulfillment lies in nurturing a healthy body and mind. By taking care of ourselves today, we ensure the ability to enjoy life’s beauty tomorrow.

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The Best Way to Enhance Your Luck

Someone once asked online: How can I change my luck?

The highly upvoted answer was: Luck isn't random; it's hidden within a person's mindset and lifestyle. To change luck, you must first change your way of life.

Indeed, that's the case. Good fortune doesn't just happen; everything around us is attracted by our own energy and qualities.

Everyone hopes for good luck and meeting influential people, but they overlook the fact that good luck is often self-sought:

Being passive and idle will only let opportunities slip by, while being proactive will lead to a better life.

In 2025, it might be beneficial to adopt these five lifestyle habits to boost your energy, upgrade your thinking, and truly "enhance" yourself.

01 Rise Early, Recharge Your Energy

Have you ever experienced this:

Staying up late at night to meet deadlines, only to feel lethargic and drowsy the next day; or hitting the snooze button for an extra 10 minutes of sleep, only to rush and feel anxious afterwards?

But when you occasionally wake up early, calmly go through your morning routine, and head out, you feel energized for the entire day.

As the saying goes, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."

Waking up early allows us to have more time to organize work and life, leading to a better state of being.

People who habitually wake up early often have better health and a better state of mind.

Waking up early acts like the butterfly effect, gradually improving your life.

If you also want to develop the habit of waking up early:

a.Take gradual steps

Every week, set your wake-up time 10 minutes earlier until you find a schedule that suits you.

b.Practice the "3-second rule"

When you hear the alarm, imagine a rocket launch, count down three seconds, and immediately get up. Repeat until it becomes reflexive.

c.Make mornings enjoyable

If you prefer to be alone, use this undisturbed time to read or meditate; if you're active, take a walk or exercise in the morning light.

When you can gracefully handle each morning, you can handle life's challenges with ease.

02 Exercise, Energize Your Body

Many youths are sharing their experiences on social platforms: "Stretching and twisted my neck," "Went to the bathroom, then couldn't stand up," etc.

These bizarre injury experiences are both amusing and concerning.

In reality, how many people around us are becoming increasingly fragile due to prolonged lack of exercise and overexertion.

"In the short term, life depends on intelligence, in the medium term, on willpower, and in the long term, on physical strength."

To confront life's challenges, it's essential to exercise and keep our bodies healthy.

If you want to develop good exercise habits:

a.Establish the right "exercise perspective"

Exercise is not just for weight loss but for a healthy body. When you prioritize your health, you'll make time to exercise.

b.Commit to exercising for at least 20 minutes each time

This significantly increases dopamine and serotonin levels, making you enjoy exercise while maintaining a cheerful mood.

c.Find an exercise you enjoy

Skipping, running, frisbee... Whatever form of exercise, as long as you persevere, it will bring positive changes to your body.

By sticking to exercise, you'll discover that you're stronger than you ever imagined.

03 Reading, Nourish Your Emotions

There's a saying: "Reading can't solve all problems, but it can help you see problems more comprehensively."

Books nourish our spirits, making us resilient and enriched.

When you've experienced countless lives through books, setbacks won't seem like dead ends.

After my friend gave birth, she went through a difficult time.

During that period, her child woke up frequently at night and cried incessantly, leaving her feeling helpless. She always felt she wasn't a good mother.

When her child was three months old, she developed mastitis, adding to her physical and mental stress, almost leading to depression.

To ease her mood, she began studying psychology books. In these books, she realized that her low spirits were influenced by postpartum hormones and were only temporary.

She tried using the methods from the books to guide herself and gradually emerged from her depression.

Often, we are swayed by emotions because we only look at problems from one perspective. Books, however, can help us break free from this confinement and find different answers.

In today's fast-paced and stressful world, if you want to have good emotional health, try these two things:

a.Read more history books

When you see the hardships and dilemmas of generations in history, you'll understand life's impermanence. You'll realize that the ups and downs of life are just experiences and practices.

b.Read more classic books

Classics that transcend time often contain the thoughts and wisdom of the past. They will offer you unique perspectives and help you break out of mental constraints.

04 Meditation, Lighten Your Mind's Burden

There's a story:

One Christmas Eve, Andy and his friends left a party. Suddenly, a car out of control came towards them.

Andy watched in horror as his friend was hit by the car and thrown away. This accident left him sleepless and plunged him into depression.

Every night, lying in bed, scenes of the past would constantly flash through his mind, causing him unbearable pain.

It wasn't until later when he discovered meditation that he realized:

Much of our suffering doesn't come from past experiences but from our brains. Those fears and anxieties are actually created by the brain.

To rid oneself of this suffering, one must train the brain through meditation to live in the present moment.

So, he persisted in meditation for 10 years, completely changing his life.

Each of us may experience the darkest moments in life. If we keep worrying about the past and fearing the future, we'll only find ourselves trapped in an emotional whirlpool, sinking deeper and deeper.

By mastering our consciousness, living mindfully, and with a positive attitude, we can achieve true mental and physical freedom.

If you want to try meditation:

a.Practice "stability."

Close your eyes, stabilize your emotions, focus on your breath, feel the rise and fall of your body, and live in the moment.

b.Practice "tranquility."

Listen to the sounds around you, observe your thoughts, but don't let them affect your mood. Be an observer, letting thoughts come and go.

When you learn to live in the present moment without judgment, you'll have a healthier and more relaxed state of mind.

05 Writing, Upgrade Your Thinking

Have you ever felt this:

You've read many books, but in the blink of an eye, you've forgotten everything, not remembering what you read;

You've consumed a lot of practical knowledge, but you've only learned surface-level concepts, without any substantial improvement...

This is because no matter how many books you read or notes you take, you're just accumulating other people's viewpoints.

Only when you learn to express what you've learned in your own words can you gain true knowledge. And the best way to do that is through writing.

Writing forces us to think, organize, and summarize what we've learned, making our thinking clearer.

To enhance your thinking through writing, you can try these:

a.Record constantly

When you encounter a new idea in life, don't just stop at reading it. Try to write it down in your own words and interpret it.

b.Write 

Find interesting points, interpret them from different perspectives, and add your own thoughts.

Organize them into a complete article and gradually build your own knowledge system.

By learning to use writing to improve yourself, continuously upgrading your cognition and thinking, you'll be better equipped to handle the unpredictable future.

There are three ways for a person to obtain good luck:

Firstly, leave it to fate and wait for good luck to come unexpectedly;

Secondly, continuously accumulate and upgrade your thinking to discover opportunities that others can't see;

Thirdly, improve your own strength, allowing opportunities to find you automatically and making good luck inevitable.

To obtain good luck, it's better to learn to improve yourself from the inside out:

Stick to exercise to have a healthy body; stick to meditation to have good emotions; stick to reading to have a broad vision.

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"Laziness is your body's best signal."

In life, I've found that many people who aren't doing well often encounter this dilemma: they have many ideas, but their motivation always lags behind. They often have many things they want to do, always ambitious and making many plans, but in the end, they fail to complete them for various reasons. Over time, people become frustrated and lack confidence. Some even feel like they're just lazy, destined to waste their lives. In fact, motivation is the key factor that sets people apart. On a smaller scale, it affects the achievement of one or two things; on a larger scale, if motivation cannot keep up in the long run, people will develop self-doubt and become more self-conscious and withdrawn in the face of repeated setbacks. We usually think that the strength of motivation depends on willpower and perseverance, and those without motivation are simply lazy.

But in psychology, the key to improving motivation lies in building good relationships, which involves two aspects:

1. Relationship with tasks;

2. Relationship with oneself. A person who always lacks motivation may not necessarily have a problem with themselves but because they haven't built good relationships.

1.Relationship with tasks: Why do you want to change?

"Building good relationships" may sound abstract at first, but it's actually closely related to our lives. I once had an interesting job: providing psychological support for people trying to lose weight. In my daily work, I needed to understand their emotional state, progress in weight loss, and effectiveness, etc. After a while, I found that I had inadvertently acquired a skill: predicting whether someone would succeed in losing weight (with an accuracy rate of about 80%). I didn't need to know their physical indicators but to understand their motivations for losing weight. I would ask everyone the same question: what happened that made you decide to lose weight? Different answers reflect different understandings of weight loss. The first two types of people have the shallowest understanding of weight loss and are just making impulsive decisions. This means that there is only a weak connection between them and the goal of "losing weight," and the motivation they can stimulate is also very limited. So, it's easy to become enthusiastic for a short time, but once the initial excitement wears off, it becomes difficult to have motivation again. The third situation is slightly better. Some older friends who are in poor health often suffer from illness and hope to lose weight to become healthy and reduce pain. This means that their connection with "losing weight" will be deeper, and they will have more motivation to keep going. Therefore, even though their metabolism is lower and losing weight is more difficult, because their motivation is stronger, their motivation is also stronger, and they are more likely to succeed. Of course, this motivation is still not the highest, after all, they are urged to lose weight by a doctor. However, it's easy to see that the degree of motivation shown by different degrees of connection with the goal will be completely different.

2.The strongest motivation comes from the deepest relationships

In fact, weight loss is like a metaphor for many things in life. We often make many plans, such as reading, taking exams, going to bed and getting up early, eating a balanced diet, learning new skills, etc. Everyone knows that these things are "good" and worth doing, but when it comes to action, they find themselves with more will than strength. That's because the understanding of "good" at this time only stays at the level of the mind and lacks experience. Conversely, when a person has a deep understanding and experience of what they are doing, they can generate tremendous motivation.

Once, I met a lady named Lee, who showed amazing execution in losing weight. In her past life, she had always been chubby and had never seriously tried to lose weight. But after starting a strict exercise and diet plan, she hardly ever missed a day and rarely complained. I was curious why she was so good at it, so Lee shared her experience with me. All along, her attitude towards life had been perfunctory; she just got by at work, wasn't invested in relationships, and handled conflicts with her boyfriend coldly. She never thought there would be any problem with this. Until last year, she was suddenly fired from her job and broke up. The two blows struck her suddenly like lightning, and she realized the problem and felt unprecedented pain. Lee wanted to change, but she felt powerless and felt a huge sense of powerlessness and loss of control. Just when she was feeling hopeless, she accidentally ran into a high school friend she hadn't seen in years. In her memory, her friend was just like her, chubby, timid, and lacking in confidence. But now, her friend had almost completely changed. Not only had she become thinner, but she also seemed confident in her speech and demeanor, appearing poised and confident in everything she did. Lee deeply admired her friend's state, and her friend shared how she had changed little by little. Lee listened intently and also had a thought in her heart: maybe I can change myself and take control of my life. Not long after, Lee celebrated her 30th birthday and made a wish: to change herself and take back control of her life. One of the first things she did was to take control of her weight. For Lee, losing weight was not just about becoming beautiful and healthy, but also about helping herself overcome the anxiety of losing control and regain confidence. Therefore, she had an extremely deep connection with the goal of losing weight, which naturally kept her motivated. Lee’s state has since improved, making others envious. So, is it certain that as long as you establish a deep relationship with what you are doing, you can persist? Not necessarily.

Because there is another influencing factor: the relationship with oneself.

3.Relationship with oneself: Is change motivated by "self-love" or "self-hatred"?

Observing those around you, you will find that many people are indeed determined to do something but still procrastinate or even give up halfway. The reason is that they often do things in a state of "self-hatred." You may feel puzzled: isn't growth and change about making oneself better, isn't it "self-love"? Not necessarily! Sharing a personal experience: At the end of last year, I resumed my habit of running, but before that, I had procrastinated on running for almost half a year. I often encountered situations where I would set my alarm clock the night before to remind myself to get up early to run, but the next day, I often woke up but didn't want to get out of bed. Or, I would finally go out, but after running for less than 10 minutes, I wanted to give up. Why would this happen? Later, I realized that it was because I would set a series of invisible high goals for myself, such as: I must start running at 6:30; I must run more than 3 kilometers continuously; I can't run too slowly... These goals may seem ordinary, but for someone like me who was used to sleeping late and hadn't exercised for a long time, they were actually quite difficult. Why would I set such high goals? Later, I realized a deeper truth: because I didn't like myself. During that time, I was very dissatisfied with myself, thinking that I was performing poorly in all aspects of work and life. Therefore, I hated to see this annoying self and wanted to change immediately. Therefore, when setting goals, I wasn't considering whether the goal could be achieved but was immersed in a state of self-disgust, setting unrealistic goals. Deep down, I would think: only by reaching such high standards can I prove that I'm not bad, and only then can I be satisfied with myself. However, unrealistic goals only bring continuous setbacks. I would become irritated by small things. For example, if I woke up late or ran slowly, I would judge and deny myself: "Why am I so bad!" And the subconscious mind tends to seek benefit and avoid harm. When running each time meant enduring the pain of criticism, unconsciously, I would become procrastinated. After all, as long as I didn't do it, I wouldn't have to face the bloody setbacks. Therefore, in an atmosphere of self-disgust, people are destined to become exhausted when doing things, and naturally, motivation will decrease.

4.When motivation is lacking, it is even more important to love oneself

Indeed, when changing, people often have both feelings of "self-love" and "self-hatred," but be careful not to let the latter dominate. Careful observation will reveal that many people seemingly set positive and upward growth goals, but many of them are venting their dissatisfaction with themselves by setting high goals. For example, some people change their profile pictures to "won't change until I lose ten pounds," or make a New Year's resolution to "read a book a week"... These goals not only are difficult to achieve, leading to self-doubt, but they also disrupt the rhythm of action. And many people are addicted to self-blame because of the influence of wrong ideas, thinking that the more cruel and demanding they are to themselves, the better they will become. But that's not true. While self-blame can sometimes generate short-term motivation, fundamentally, it's a state of being hostile to oneself, which only consumes energy in self-struggle. Therefore, to obtain sustainable motivation, we need to change our relationship with ourselves. Later, through continuous awareness and adjustment, I redeveloped the habit of running and summarized three steps. If you encounter similar difficulties, you may want to try it.

a.See the real self

Bad relationships often stick to "as I wish," while good relationships accept things "as they are." The former disregards the actual situation and focuses solely on that ideal goal, while the latter sees and accepts the true self. I remind myself: although life may not be going well right now, and I haven't exercised in a long time, planning to start moving now is already good. It's inevitable that I can't run or run slowly at this time. When I think like this, my self-blame decreases, and I can see a few things about myself that are worthy of praise. In fact, everyone is like this. Behind the dissatisfaction with oneself also means that we are in a trough, and the difficulty of change is the greatest at this time. But we are still determined to salvage ourselves, and this intention alone is worthy of affirmation and recognition. When we can realize this, self-acceptance will increase, and the insistence on high goals will decrease.

Lower the goal and rebuild the "relationship" I remind myself: now, my main task is to reduce psychological burden and find a way to make running a less stressful activity for me. So, I readjusted the goal of running, focusing not on how fast or how far to run but setting a minimum standard: to go out. As long as I run, I achieve my goal, and that is a victory. Therefore, my stress was minimized, and I successfully turned running into a habit. Actually, when you find it difficult to act, you might as well lower the standard, get yourself moving, and continue before there's a chance for progress.

b.The worse the performance, the more support you need for yourself

Later, when my running state recovered, I could run more than 8 kilometers each time, and my requirements for myself also unknowingly increased. But once, perhaps because my condition was really bad, it took me 30 minutes to "run" just 3 kilometers. This is a very slow pace, and at first, I felt embarrassed and didn't want to post on social media. But then I realized: am I running to prove it to others? Of course not, I'm doing it for myself. At the same time, even if I perform poorly, I accept this imperfect self. When I think like this, I don't feel defeated but feel a kind of power connected to myself. I am no longer an enemy with myself but a friend fighting side by side.

In conclusion

Actually, when you find yourself always having the will but lacking the strength, don't rush to doubt or deny yourself. Those things that have shallow connections with yourself don't have to be forced, try doing goals that you are more willing to do first. And on the road to growth, everyone will have moments of poor performance. The more difficult the time, the more we need to avoid adding insult to injury to ourselves, support and understand ourselves more. Only then can we rebuild our relationship and truly improve our motivation.

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Life experiences

1. Pay attention to those who are very good in dealing with others.

People who are good in dealing with others are all savvy individuals; they have high emotional intelligence, articulate well, and make you feel comfortable in their presence. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people.

When judging someone, don't just listen to what they say; observe their actions. Pay attention to details, feel with your heart, not just with your ears.

2. Make money as much as possible, save money diligently, money is very important.

No matter what your financial situation is, save money whenever possible. In this society, money is the most important shield for you and your family.

Nowadays, it feels like the weekend hasn't been spent if they haven't gone shopping, and it feels like they haven't gone shopping if they haven't bought anything. They feel wronged if they go shopping without having a cup of milk tea or a meal.

Save money in life, and there's no need to spend $6 on milk tea when $1 bottled water can do the job. Your savings are your lifeline.

3. Don't deliberately flatter others.

Those whom you flatter and fawn over, what real help can they offer you? Even if they do help you, sooner or later you'll have to repay them twofold. Moreover, why should they help you? The more you flatter others, the more others will flatter them, and the more incapable you'll appear.

Instead of trying to flatter others, spend that energy thinking about how to improve yourself.

4. Don't try to take shortcuts in anything.

For example, don't cheat on homework normally, don't think about cheating on exams, don't lie to deceive people; you are deceiving yourself.

Do you think you're deceiving the teacher by copying homework?

5. Things that make you suffer actually bring you happiness, and things that make you happy are often not real happiness.

Playing games and browsing on your phone are very comfortable, but that kind of short-term happiness often brings permanent pain.

Studying is painful, especially in the early stages. Stretching and running are painful. But these brief pains often bring long-term happiness.

6. It's never too late to start working hard.

It's never too late to start learning anything.

Many skills are usually acquired with just a few years of hard work. As long as you persist, regardless of what it is, you will gradually reap rewards.

7. Be calm and not judge others based on yourself.

Everyone's experiences are different, and their attitudes toward things are also different. You can disagree with someone's opinion, but don't question or oppose it. Don't try to impose your thoughts on others; it will only make you look foolish.

8. Don't prioritize interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are built on the circle you're in and are more determined by your abilities. If you have achieved nothing and have no value to offer, why should others help you? Only when you have the ability do you have the right to talk about interpersonal relationships.

9. Learning is a lifelong process, and reading is the lowest-cost, fastest way to grow.

Don't stop learning just because you're working. Many things can only be truly understood through practice. By learning while working, you will grow rapidly.

10. Stay away from trashy people.

If a dog bites you, would you bite the dog back?

If you encounter trashy people in life, endure a little grievance and leave as soon as possible. It's better to have one less thing to worry about.

11. Don't deliberately please others, and don't force yourself into circles you don't belong to.

Whether in school or after work, if you can't get along with classmates or colleagues, keep your distance. Focus on learning seriously and working diligently to enrich your life. You live for yourself, not to please others.

12. The more you talk, the less weight your words carry.

In daily life, except with friends, don't become a chatterbox when interacting with others. In this day and age, besides family and friends, no one has so much free time to listen to your nonsense.

13. Time will reveal true intentions.

People's hearts are unpredictable, and seeing someone's true intentions over time may not always be accurate. Communicate more, and you'll eventually see people's true intentions.

14.  Face is earned, not given by others.

When you feel that others don't respect you, don't get angry.

Others are not obliged to respect you. Whether or not you can earn others' respect depends on your abilities and character.

As the saying goes, face is earned, not given by others.

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The grievances of adults, who understands?

I heard a particularly heart-wrenching statement: "We dare not fall ill, dare not slack off, and even dare not show emotions. We don't know at what point we started only dealing with problems. Coffee and alcohol have become our lifelines, while emotional outbursts have become luxuries."

Adults encounter many problems and challenges every day, and even if their bodies and minds ache, they push through the pain with time constraints.

A father, while unloading goods, accidentally fell from a truck over a meter high, got up and continued unloading. When he got home, he discovered a large bruise on his back but didn't mention it to his family;

A single mother, alone at home with her child, reheated the prepared meal multiple times, ate two meals, and stayed up all night when her child had a fever, afraid to sleep during the day for fear her child might wake up unattended;

A delivery driver, falsely reported by a customer, rushed to visit his sick mother after work and then had to pick up his daughter from school. To save time, he chose to drive against traffic. When stopped by traffic police, he broke down in tears.

The breakdown of adults is the accumulation of tiny despair, suppressed for a long time and suddenly erupting. The final trigger for the eruption is often something insignificant.

These trivial matters often seem exaggerated and melodramatic to others, and all grievances are reduced to a dismissive "Is it really that bad?"

On the road of life, everyone is a lonely traveler. There are countless scenes in the world, ups and downs of suffering, happiness, joy, and sorrow. Except for saving oneself, it is difficult for others to truly help.

Many times we need a brief pause button, give the pain some time, give ourselves a chance to breathe. In the quiet of the night, open up your heart and mend it yourself.

That's life, others only see the results, while you alone endure the process. Faced with life, we have no choice but to be strong and continue. The road can be looked back upon, but it cannot be walked back.

If you are experiencing grievances, I hope: you can persevere and bravely move forward. Those who are immune to all poisons have been covered in scars; those who can laugh at storms have been riddled with wounds. In the world of adults, while one side collapses, the other side heals.

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Thriving Through Minimalism: 8 Essential Habits

"People often say that encountering a benefactor can save you from wandering for years in life's twists and turns. In reality, rather than waiting for a benefactor to appear, it's better to become one yourself. Our habits hide our luck and destiny. By adhering to the following 8 minimalist habits, nurturing yourself, you will quietly transform into a formidable person."

1. Simplify Your Sleep Schedule

"People who can't even control their bedtime, how can they control their lives? Early to bed, early to rise; don't let your emotions collapse at night, and you've already won half the battle. Only by resting well at night can you invest more energy into learning, working, and living during the day. Sleeping at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM, consistently for years, if you don't succeed, who will?"

2. Simplify Your Diet

"Everyone loves junk food and fried foods. But remember, you become what you eat. Replace takeout with home-cooked meals, switch bubble tea with fruits, and indulge yourself one day a week while maintaining a healthy diet the rest of the time. You'll radiate with vitality, even saving money on skincare products."

3. Simplify Your Information Intake

"Quality information intake is vital for a healthy brain. Constantly scrolling short videos, indulging in gossip, and consuming low-quality information limits your thinking and perspective, making you susceptible to others' viewpoints. Delete unnecessary apps, mute irrelevant group chats, and turn off app notifications. Spend more time reading books, watching documentaries or movies, and joining high-quality communities to absorb first-hand, quality information. Your mindset will naturally change, and your actions will follow suit, making excellence inevitable."

4. Simplify Your Hobbies

"Everyone experiences fleeting interests, which is fine as long as it's shallow and brief. However, cultivate one or two hobbies deeply to have a mental sanctuary. Immersing yourself in these hobbies can recharge you when life throws challenges your way. Whether it's running, swimming, reading, or walking, hobbies act as mechanisms to enter a state of flow, allowing you to reset and sail again."

5. Simplify Your Social Interactions

"Suggest both introverts and extroverts refuse ineffective social interactions. If a social gathering doesn't provide emotional or beneficial value, politely decline. Reduce contact with people who look down on you, have ulterior motives, especially unfamiliar, annoying relatives, or past relationships. As the saying goes, 'the ability to block' is a person's top skill. Anyone or anything that drains you is not worth your time."

6. Simplify Your Possessions

 

'Any conscious materialist knows that when you possess an object, the object possesses you.' We don't need as much as we think. If your room is filled with rarely used items, there's no space for what you truly need. I regretted not getting rid of a bulky coffee table in the living room sooner. The space suddenly became spacious, allowing me to lay down a carpet, relax, read, binge-watch, and play with family. By letting go of that item, I gained more happiness."

7. Simplify Your Spending

"Spending money brings short-term happiness, while saving money brings long-term joy. When you see something you like, refrain from buying it immediately. Add it to your cart, wait a few days; if you still want it after a while, then go ahead and buy it! Trust me, through a three-tier filtering process, the items you end up purchasing will truly be ones you need and won't regret. By avoiding consumer traps, as your savings grow, you'll have the confidence to try more valuable and meaningful things."

8. Simplify Your Mindset

 When facing complex relationships, encountering bizarre people and situations, be vigilant against emotional drain and avoid being consumed. Stay relaxed, don't rush, and don't be greedy. We can't have everything, but don't worry; we won't have nothing either. As the saying goes, 'You can have a bad experience, but don't indulge in a bad life. Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards; it's always us who play the hand.' Good luck and benefactors won't magically appear. Regardless of the hand we're dealt, as long as we don't give up, we can play a winning hand. We need to polish ourselves day by day, cultivate good habits, and let these habits guide us through life's blind spots. Let's hold onto the vitality that life bestows upon us and live a flourishing life."

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Depression Detox: Combat with These 3 Actions

I don't know when it started, but feeling exhausted has become the norm in people's lives. After a busy day, they don't feel like doing anything and just want to lie quietly;

When they go out to eat with their loved ones, they sit there silently, each staring at their phones; When they finally have some free time, their minds are still racing, afraid of missing out on something.

"Everyone is caught in a huge machine, striving to turn time into money, forced to live faster and more efficiently, even surpassing physical limits." Over time, the body naturally starts to malfunction, falling into depression without even realizing it.

Frequently doing these three small things might help you stay away from depression:

1. Regularly disconnecting from the internet and spending time with yourself.

Have you ever had the experience of intending to rest well at night, but as soon as you open your phone, you can't stop?

D shared her story of disconnecting from the internet.

For a period of time, she was constantly attracted by her phone, unconsciously browsing through various information, swiping her fingers across the screen. But these pieces of information were of no help to her work; instead, they distracted her attention and caused her to stumble in her creative process.

Realizing the pain, she decided to reduce her dependence on her phone. So, she set a rule for herself to put down her phone at a fixed time every day, while also logging out of common social media apps.

This ensured that she could focus on her work without external distractions.

Sometimes, she would habitually pick up her phone. But as soon as she saw the login page and realized she had to re-enter her password or verification code, alarm bells would go off in her mind, and she would give up.

This method may seem a bit troublesome, but it is very effective.

Of course, we don't have to disconnect from the internet every day. We can also follow what writer Scott Young wrote: "Give yourself 90 minutes of independent thinking time every seven days, without music, without playing with your phone, just you alone."

When you first try this, you are likely to feel anxious and uneasy, even unable to resist reopening your phone. But once you get used to spending time with yourself, you will feel true peace and relaxation.

Many people mistakenly believe that scrolling through their phones is relaxing, but true relaxation is when the brain stops receiving information.

Information overload can stimulate us, making it difficult for us to sleep or eat well, leading to deeper fatigue and emptiness, which can give rise to feelings of depression. Moreover, most of the information online has nothing to do with our lives; it just adds to our troubles.

Why not return to real-life scenarios through disconnection from the internet, to contemplate, meditate, and feel our own breath?

When you learn to shift your focus back to yourself, to notice the small joys around you, your mental core will become more stable, and your life will improve.

2. Refusing to overwork and not self-exploiting

In the book "Life's Troubles Consultation Room," it is written: "The more serious a person is, the easier it is for them to become depressed."

Being serious is worthy of praising, but too much of anything is not good.

For individuals, learning to take breaks actively is even more important than being immersed in work.

Life is like a rubber band, always stretched tight, and it may break at any moment.

Occasionally slowing down, recharging yourself, and then moving forward can actually be more efficient.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and don't always confront life. In your leisure time, why not listen to music, tend to plants, make yourself a cup of tea, and sit on the balcony soaking up the sun?

These seemingly insignificant things can help us break away from the fatigue of the moment, feel the pleasant side of life, and become less susceptible to depression.

3. Relaxing your mind and practicing a change of mindset.

I was deeply moved by the author Byron Katie's experience.

In her thirties, she suffered from severe depression for ten years, always in a state of mental low. At its worst, she stayed at home and only contacted the outside world by phone. Even when her children passed by her room, they had to tiptoe to avoid being unjustly scolded by her.

But one morning, a revolutionary idea came to her mind: "When I don't believe my thoughts, I am not in pain." She realized that what was making her depressed was not the people or things around her, but her perception of the world.

From then on, whenever she felt sad and conflicted, she would do a "change of mindset" exercise, asking herself: Is that true? Can you be 100% sure that it's true? How do you react when you hold that thought? How would you act if you didn't have that thought?

With each question and answer, many problems were resolved, and life became brighter.Many people have benefited greatly from trying this method.

Every minute, our minds are filled with countless thoughts.

Positive thoughts can calm us down and make us feel abundant and joyful;

Negative thoughts, on the other hand, can bring endless torment, making us feel gloomy and despondent.

One thought can lead to heaven, another to hell. The so-called change of mindset is to replace old thoughts with new ones.

"People can change their lives by changing their mindset, which is the greatest discovery of our generation."

Instead of indulging in the past and being led by negative thoughts, why not carefully examine the reasons behind our unhappiness through questioning?

Finding out where the problem lies is a good start.

Never think that a thought is insignificant; they take root in our minds and subtly influence every action we take.

In today's fast-paced world, almost everyone's life has become tense and busy.

We rush to one goal after another, feeling like life is an endless race.

But if happiness is squeezed out to the point of scarcity, life itself loses its meaning.

There are always times when things don't go well or when we feel tired. In those times, I see it as a vacation given to us by the gods; there's no need to force ourselves to sprint, no need to be nervous, no need to try hard; everything should just go with the flow.

Whether it's regularly putting down our phones, balancing work and leisure, or making a change of mindset a part of our lives, they are all moments of respite for ourselves, not being depleted by stress.

Doing these small things often may not directly bring fame and fortune, but they can help us detach from the weariness of the moment, feel the comfortable side of life, and become less prone to depression.

I hope we can live the life we want and have a vibrant life.

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