The Hidden Trap of Over-Responsibility: Why It Drains You

In today's fast-paced world, it’s common to encounter individuals who overburden themselves with responsibilities at work and in life. They are the ones who:

• When their family members tell them it’s late and they should rest, they respond with, “I can’t rest yet, I need to double-check the report for tomorrow’s meeting. It has to be perfect, I can't afford to make any mistakes.”
• When their colleagues invite them for lunch, they reply, “You go ahead, I need to prepare some documents for the boss’s meeting this afternoon. It has to be perfect.”

These people are often valued highly in their professional environments. Everyone likes to work with responsible colleagues. They are loyal, dependable, and hardworking. However, there's a downside to this excessive sense of responsibility: it can easily lead to self-criticism, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

Excessive Responsibility in the Workplace

While responsibility is a highly regarded trait, too much of it can have negative consequences. The key to thriving in a workplace is not simply taking on every task or burden that comes your way, but knowing when to delegate and when to set boundaries. The most successful professionals understand how to strike a balance. They manage their responsibilities in such a way that they are still efficient without exhausting themselves or losing their personal lives.

There’s a saying that perfectly sums up this concept: "Everything has limits. Once it exceeds those limits, punishment follows." This is not only a life philosophy but also a universal rule in nature. The moment we take on too much, especially in the workplace, we risk becoming overwhelmed and stressed out, which can have long-term consequences on our mental and physical health.

The Dangers of Over-Responsibility

When someone overburdens themselves with work, it often reflects a lack of clear boundaries. In the workplace, this can manifest in several ways: taking on more tasks than necessary, helping colleagues to the detriment of your own work, or continually going above and beyond with the belief that the only way to be valued is through constant over-performance. Over time, this person becomes the one carrying the weight of the office, often without even realizing how heavy the load is.

In the Japanese drama Weakest Beast, the character Shinkai Akira is a model employee who is so dependable that her boss assigns her more work than anyone else. She becomes the go-to person for everyone: organizing travel for her boss, handling administrative tasks, and even stepping in to solve problems when colleagues make mistakes. However, this overextension doesn’t lead to career advancement. Instead, it makes her seem increasingly indispensable, but her efforts are expected, not rewarded.

Her situation gets worse when she is tasked with taking on even more work that others are too unwilling or too busy to complete. Despite her hard work, her colleagues and boss start to take her for granted. At one point, she even has to publicly apologize on behalf of a colleague. In the end, she’s left exhausted and emotionally broken, leading to a nervous breakdown.

Why Over-Responsibility Leads to Burnout

Excessive responsibility creates a work environment where a person is constantly running on empty. They feel a need to overcompensate for any potential failure and take on more than they can handle. This feeling of obligation starts to consume them. They manage their emotions, meet deadlines, and perform well, but all at the expense of their mental and physical health. Over time, this behavior leads to burnout, where the person no longer has the energy to handle even their own responsibilities, let alone the additional burdens placed on them by others.

A question often asked is, "What happens to employees who are overly responsible?" One memorable answer to this question is: "They either explode in silence or perish in silence." This suggests that when someone constantly overextends themselves to fix other people's problems, they eventually run out of time and energy to care for themselves. Everyone has a finite amount of mental and physical capacity, and exceeding that limit leads to exhaustion, burnout, and resentment.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

While it's natural to want to help others, it's essential to learn how to prioritize self-care and personal boundaries. We can offer help to our colleagues and support others, but we must do so with the understanding that our own well-being must come first. If we continue to take on responsibilities that don’t belong to us, we risk losing ourselves in the process.

Over-responsibility is often rooted in fear of failure. Many people fear that if they don’t take on everything themselves, they will fail or disappoint others. However, constantly worrying about failure can create anxiety and tension that makes everything more difficult. Ironically, this can lead to poorer outcomes in the long run. Learning to delegate and trust others with responsibilities is crucial for both personal well-being and workplace efficiency.

Real-Life Examples of Over-Responsibility and Its Consequences

One story shared by a therapist highlights the experience of a client who was given an important task at work. This client was extremely anxious, fearing they would fail or disappoint their boss. As a result, they went above and beyond, trying to take on more of the task than they could handle. Another colleague, with less experience, accepted the task without hesitation. Throughout the project, this colleague sought guidance when needed and learned along the way. Eventually, the colleague completed the task to a higher standard, while the client’s excessive responsibility led to missed opportunities. The over-responsible person ended up sidelined, while the colleague who took a more balanced approach succeeded.

This example highlights the fact that over-responsibility can be a trap. People often believe that being overly responsible will earn them praise and career advancement, but the opposite is often true. Over-time, the excess burden becomes stifling, and the individual may fail to grow or take on new challenges.

Healthy Responsibility vs. Over-Responsibility

True responsibility is about being accountable for your actions and managing your tasks effectively. However, there is a difference between healthy responsibility and over-responsibility. Healthy responsibility is about understanding that you can’t do everything alone. It’s about setting clear boundaries and knowing when to say "no" when things get too overwhelming.

Over-responsibility, on the other hand, stems from a fear of failure and the belief that you must carry the weight of others’ tasks and problems. It can lead to emotional burnout, resentment, and the feeling of being taken for granted.

Three Key Strategies to Manage Responsibility

1. Look Inward and Focus on Your Own Needs: Responsibility begins with understanding your own emotional and physical needs. If you feel overwhelmed by tasks, don't hesitate to speak up. Don’t let frustration or resentment build up by silently accepting everything. Also, before taking on a new task, ask yourself if you're genuinely willing to take it on without expecting perfection.
2. Separate Responsibilities: Follow the concept of "task separation," which comes from Adlerian psychology. This idea suggests that while we can offer advice, we cannot control others’ actions or carry their burdens. Helping others is fine, but taking on their entire workload can lead to burnout. Recognize when you’re crossing the line and focus on your own tasks instead.
3. Adopt a Growth Mindset: Instead of fixating on the outcomes of every task, focus on what you can learn and how you can grow through the process. Embrace challenges with a mindset of growth, allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. This mindset reduces the pressure to be perfect and allows you to handle tasks more effectively.

Conclusion: Balancing Responsibility

In the workplace and in life, it's important to remember that responsibility is about balance. While it’s good to be dependable, over-responsibility can be harmful. By learning to set boundaries, managing our emotional energy, and recognizing when to say "no," we can avoid the dangers of burnout and maintain a healthy, fulfilling work-life balance. True responsibility involves knowing when to help others and when to focus on yourself. Life is short, and our personal well-being should always be a top priority.

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Why Laziness Might Be the Best Warning Your Body Gives You

Understanding Laziness as a Psychological Response

Have you ever had moments where you received a work task, but for some reason, despite knowing you should start right away, you find yourself procrastinating until the last minute? Or when you feel mentally and physically drained, even though there’s not a lot of work or responsibilities, and all you want is to rest? Or when you face a difficult challenge and realize you have no control over your actions, watching as opportunities slip through your fingers without even trying?

These are all scenarios we commonly experience, and the first instinct is often to label ourselves as “lazy.” However, the more we criticize ourselves for it, the more trapped we become in anxiety, frustration, and fatigue, ultimately creating a cycle that leaves us feeling stuck. Psychologist Cikey highlights a crucial point here: laziness isn't just a lack of willpower or discipline, but a psychological defense mechanism—a way our minds and bodies signal that something deeper is wrong and that we need help.

When we dive deeper into understanding laziness, it becomes clear that it’s not just about a temporary dip in motivation; it’s often our body’s way of sending us an SOS signal. When we understand the underlying cause of this "laziness," we can take steps to address it more effectively, breaking the cycle and restoring our energy and mental clarity.

The Case of the Overburdened Woman: A Wake-Up Call

One story shared by therapist illustrates the profound impact of unchecked stress on productivity and well-being. The story involves a hardworking woman who, at work, had always been diligent, constantly moving, and striving to prove her worth. Her efforts were eventually recognized, and she was frequently given opportunities for advancement. However, when a significant opportunity presented itself—a chance to present to a major client, which could lead to a promotion—she found herself inexplicably overwhelmed.

Despite her initial excitement, she began to experience rising anxiety as the presentation deadline approached. Even though she was fully aware of the importance of preparing her speech and refining her pitch, she found herself procrastinating. Rather than working on the task, she became distracted, even binge-watching TV shows as a way to escape the pressure. Her performance at the presentation, unsurprisingly, was disastrous—her speech was disorganized, and she couldn’t even answer questions properly. Following this, she continued to feel unmotivated and lazy, struggling to find energy for even basic tasks.

What was happening in this situation? The woman was facing intense pressure—pressure to perform well, pressure to meet expectations, and pressure to succeed. While her outward behavior seemed like laziness, what was actually happening was her body's way of shutting down to protect her from the overwhelming stress. It wasn’t laziness in the traditional sense; it was burnout and emotional exhaustion manifesting as avoidance and lack of motivation.

Psychological Research: Stress Triggers a Defensive Response

The case of the overburdened woman illustrates an important point: stress, anxiety, and fear can trigger a psychological and physical response that feels like laziness but is in fact the body’s defense mechanism. Neurological research shows that when we’re under chronic stress or surrounded by negative emotions, our brain’s amygdala gets activated. The amygdala is responsible for processing emotions like fear and stress, and when it's overactivated, it can make us feel overwhelmed and even paralyzed.

When our bodies and minds experience continuous stress, our nervous system floods with stress hormones like cortisol. This creates feelings of anxiety, irritability, and a sense of being mentally and physically drained. Instead of being productive, we may feel an overwhelming urge to escape the situation or procrastinate, which can look like laziness from the outside. However, it’s actually a coping mechanism—a response to mental overload.

The Bigger Picture: Recognizing the Pressure We’re Under

It’s easy to see these moments as personal failures or signs of a lack of discipline, but they’re actually much more complex. Most of us experience such moments regularly—whether it’s struggling with a looming deadline, feeling unable to handle a difficult work situation, or becoming increasingly frustrated by a lack of progress. These situations often lead to a gradual decline in our energy and motivation, and we may even find ourselves self-blaming, further deepening the sense of being stuck.

Recent surveys and studies show that a staggering 90% of respondents experience burnout or feelings of exhaustion connected to their jobs and personal lives. It's clear that many people are facing overwhelming pressure, and the resulting fatigue and laziness aren’t simply because they’re "lazy"—they're signals of mental and physical burnout.

The Role of the Body: A Sensitive Alarm System

The body is an incredibly sensitive instrument, capable of detecting early signs of stress and fatigue. Unfortunately, we often ignore these signals, pushing ourselves further and further without taking the necessary breaks to recharge. As a result, we continue operating at full capacity, ignoring our need for rest. Over time, this leads to a depletion of our mental and physical resources, manifesting as exhaustion, low energy, and a lack of motivation. This is when we often begin to experience the kind of “laziness” that feels uncontrollable.

The reality is that laziness often isn’t laziness at all. It’s the body and mind sending out a distress signal: "I need a break, I’m overloaded, and I can’t keep going at this pace."

Stories of Burnout: How to Recognize and Address It

The story of L is another example of how intense workplace pressure can cause burnout. L was known for her relentless work ethic—constantly going above and beyond, preparing materials in advance, memorizing data, and taking on more than her share of responsibility. While others admired her, she felt physically and mentally drained, much like a bird that has overexerted itself and can no longer fly. Despite her best efforts to rest at night, she woke up exhausted, unable to focus, and increasingly detached from her work.

Recognizing her condition, she took a long break to reset. By stepping away from the constant demands of work, she allowed herself time to recover. She spent time reading, writing, and engaging in activities that helped ease her anxiety. When she returned to work, she slowed down her pace, focusing only on the tasks she was responsible for and setting boundaries to avoid overcommitting. This approach allowed her to regain her energy and focus, showing that sometimes, slowing down and taking breaks is necessary to regain productivity.

Three Key Strategies to Combat Burnout and Restore Energy

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, lethargic, or unmotivated, there are several strategies you can use to recharge and break the cycle of burnout:

1.    Slow Down and Lower Expectations: Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure by setting unrealistically high goals. When we don’t meet these goals, we spiral into anxiety and frustration. Instead, try lowering your expectations and focusing on small, achievable tasks. This will help you build momentum without feeling overwhelmed.

2.    Rest Effectively and Refuse to Overwork: Mental exhaustion is just as debilitating as physical fatigue. If you feel stressed or anxious about returning to work, it might be a sign that your mind is overloaded. Take time for rest and relaxation, whether it’s a short meditation break, physical exercise, or simply taking a walk. Small moments of relaxation can help reset your energy levels.

3.    Practice Mindfulness and Positive Thinking: Negative thoughts can drain our energy, making it hard to stay motivated. When you find yourself spiraling into negativity, try focusing on the positive. Remind yourself of past successes, and use positive affirmations to shift your mindset. This simple shift in perspective can help reframe your mental state and boost your energy.

The Importance of Listening to Your Body

Ultimately, laziness isn’t something to fear. It’s a sign that your body and mind need attention and care. By listening to these signals and responding in a healthy way—whether that means resting, lowering expectations, or shifting your mindset—you can break free from the cycle of burnout and restore your energy. Everyone has moments of exhaustion, but it’s how we respond to these moments that determines our ability to overcome them and thrive in the long term.

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The Best Way to Enhance Your Luck

Someone once asked online: How can I change my luck?

The highly upvoted answer was: Luck isn't random; it's hidden within a person's mindset and lifestyle. To change luck, you must first change your way of life.

Indeed, that's the case. Good fortune doesn't just happen; everything around us is attracted by our own energy and qualities.

Everyone hopes for good luck and meeting influential people, but they overlook the fact that good luck is often self-sought:

Being passive and idle will only let opportunities slip by, while being proactive will lead to a better life.

In 2025, it might be beneficial to adopt these five lifestyle habits to boost your energy, upgrade your thinking, and truly "enhance" yourself.

01 Rise Early, Recharge Your Energy

Have you ever experienced this:

Staying up late at night to meet deadlines, only to feel lethargic and drowsy the next day; or hitting the snooze button for an extra 10 minutes of sleep, only to rush and feel anxious afterwards?

But when you occasionally wake up early, calmly go through your morning routine, and head out, you feel energized for the entire day.

As the saying goes, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."

Waking up early allows us to have more time to organize work and life, leading to a better state of being.

People who habitually wake up early often have better health and a better state of mind.

Waking up early acts like the butterfly effect, gradually improving your life.

If you also want to develop the habit of waking up early:

a.Take gradual steps

Every week, set your wake-up time 10 minutes earlier until you find a schedule that suits you.

b.Practice the "3-second rule"

When you hear the alarm, imagine a rocket launch, count down three seconds, and immediately get up. Repeat until it becomes reflexive.

c.Make mornings enjoyable

If you prefer to be alone, use this undisturbed time to read or meditate; if you're active, take a walk or exercise in the morning light.

When you can gracefully handle each morning, you can handle life's challenges with ease.

02 Exercise, Energize Your Body

Many youths are sharing their experiences on social platforms: "Stretching and twisted my neck," "Went to the bathroom, then couldn't stand up," etc.

These bizarre injury experiences are both amusing and concerning.

In reality, how many people around us are becoming increasingly fragile due to prolonged lack of exercise and overexertion.

"In the short term, life depends on intelligence, in the medium term, on willpower, and in the long term, on physical strength."

To confront life's challenges, it's essential to exercise and keep our bodies healthy.

If you want to develop good exercise habits:

a.Establish the right "exercise perspective"

Exercise is not just for weight loss but for a healthy body. When you prioritize your health, you'll make time to exercise.

b.Commit to exercising for at least 20 minutes each time

This significantly increases dopamine and serotonin levels, making you enjoy exercise while maintaining a cheerful mood.

c.Find an exercise you enjoy

Skipping, running, frisbee... Whatever form of exercise, as long as you persevere, it will bring positive changes to your body.

By sticking to exercise, you'll discover that you're stronger than you ever imagined.

03 Reading, Nourish Your Emotions

There's a saying: "Reading can't solve all problems, but it can help you see problems more comprehensively."

Books nourish our spirits, making us resilient and enriched.

When you've experienced countless lives through books, setbacks won't seem like dead ends.

After my friend gave birth, she went through a difficult time.

During that period, her child woke up frequently at night and cried incessantly, leaving her feeling helpless. She always felt she wasn't a good mother.

When her child was three months old, she developed mastitis, adding to her physical and mental stress, almost leading to depression.

To ease her mood, she began studying psychology books. In these books, she realized that her low spirits were influenced by postpartum hormones and were only temporary.

She tried using the methods from the books to guide herself and gradually emerged from her depression.

Often, we are swayed by emotions because we only look at problems from one perspective. Books, however, can help us break free from this confinement and find different answers.

In today's fast-paced and stressful world, if you want to have good emotional health, try these two things:

a.Read more history books

When you see the hardships and dilemmas of generations in history, you'll understand life's impermanence. You'll realize that the ups and downs of life are just experiences and practices.

b.Read more classic books

Classics that transcend time often contain the thoughts and wisdom of the past. They will offer you unique perspectives and help you break out of mental constraints.

04 Meditation, Lighten Your Mind's Burden

There's a story:

One Christmas Eve, Andy and his friends left a party. Suddenly, a car out of control came towards them.

Andy watched in horror as his friend was hit by the car and thrown away. This accident left him sleepless and plunged him into depression.

Every night, lying in bed, scenes of the past would constantly flash through his mind, causing him unbearable pain.

It wasn't until later when he discovered meditation that he realized:

Much of our suffering doesn't come from past experiences but from our brains. Those fears and anxieties are actually created by the brain.

To rid oneself of this suffering, one must train the brain through meditation to live in the present moment.

So, he persisted in meditation for 10 years, completely changing his life.

Each of us may experience the darkest moments in life. If we keep worrying about the past and fearing the future, we'll only find ourselves trapped in an emotional whirlpool, sinking deeper and deeper.

By mastering our consciousness, living mindfully, and with a positive attitude, we can achieve true mental and physical freedom.

If you want to try meditation:

a.Practice "stability."

Close your eyes, stabilize your emotions, focus on your breath, feel the rise and fall of your body, and live in the moment.

b.Practice "tranquility."

Listen to the sounds around you, observe your thoughts, but don't let them affect your mood. Be an observer, letting thoughts come and go.

When you learn to live in the present moment without judgment, you'll have a healthier and more relaxed state of mind.

05 Writing, Upgrade Your Thinking

Have you ever felt this:

You've read many books, but in the blink of an eye, you've forgotten everything, not remembering what you read;

You've consumed a lot of practical knowledge, but you've only learned surface-level concepts, without any substantial improvement...

This is because no matter how many books you read or notes you take, you're just accumulating other people's viewpoints.

Only when you learn to express what you've learned in your own words can you gain true knowledge. And the best way to do that is through writing.

Writing forces us to think, organize, and summarize what we've learned, making our thinking clearer.

To enhance your thinking through writing, you can try these:

a.Record constantly

When you encounter a new idea in life, don't just stop at reading it. Try to write it down in your own words and interpret it.

b.Write 

Find interesting points, interpret them from different perspectives, and add your own thoughts.

Organize them into a complete article and gradually build your own knowledge system.

By learning to use writing to improve yourself, continuously upgrading your cognition and thinking, you'll be better equipped to handle the unpredictable future.

There are three ways for a person to obtain good luck:

Firstly, leave it to fate and wait for good luck to come unexpectedly;

Secondly, continuously accumulate and upgrade your thinking to discover opportunities that others can't see;

Thirdly, improve your own strength, allowing opportunities to find you automatically and making good luck inevitable.

To obtain good luck, it's better to learn to improve yourself from the inside out:

Stick to exercise to have a healthy body; stick to meditation to have good emotions; stick to reading to have a broad vision.

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Simplify Your Life: 21-Day Minimalism Checklist

Minimalism does not mean living a life of austerity or monotony. It's about eliminating unnecessary complexities and redundancies from life while meeting basic needs, making life simpler, more orderly, and harmonious.

Minimalism helps us reduce the burden, both material and spiritual, allowing us more time and energy to focus on truly important things such as family, friends, health, and personal growth.

21-Day Minimalism Plan:

Day 1: Assessment and Preparation

List all items in your daily life, including clothing, furniture, electronic products, etc. Examine these items, distinguishing between "essential" and "non-essential." Develop a preliminary list of minimalist living goals.

Day 2: Wardrobe Organization

Sort clothes in the wardrobe into "regular wear," "occasional wear," and "unused" categories. Donate or discard unused clothes. Develop a reasonable storage and access plan for regularly worn clothes.

Day 3: Kitchen Organization

Check the ingredients and seasonings in the kitchen, discard expired items. Clean out infrequently used kitchen utensils and tableware. Develop a simple kitchen storage plan to ensure items are orderly.

Day 4: Study Room Organization

Clear unnecessary documents and items from the desk. Organize books, storing less frequently read ones in storage areas. Develop a convenient access plan for commonly used study or work supplies.

Day 5: Electronic Devices Management

List all your electronic devices. Analyze which ones are truly necessary and which ones are rarely used. Develop a usage and management plan for electronic devices to reduce unnecessary screen time.

Day 6: Simplify Daily Activities

Examine daily activities to identify areas that can be simplified. For example, merging similar tasks.

Day 7: Review and Adjustment

Review the organization process of the past six days and make adjustments based on actual conditions.

Day 8: Deepen Wardrobe Organization

Organize and rehang regularly worn clothes, ensuring easy access. Use storage boxes or bags to properly store seasonal clothing, keeping the closet tidy.

Day 9: Simplify Kitchen Cooking Utensils

Develop a weekly cooking plan to reduce food waste and unnecessary cooking activities.

Day 10: Electronic Devices Organization

Use electronic labels or software tools to categorize and label electronic devices for easy retrieval and use. Organize electronic device cables to ensure neatness.

Day 11: Simplify Daily Commuting

Review daily commuting methods, consider reducing commuting time or choosing more environmentally friendly travel methods. Evaluate commuting routes and transportation methods, choosing the most convenient and sustainable options. Also, schedule travel times sensibly to avoid peak hour congestion and increase commuting efficiency.

Day 12: Deepen Bedroom Organization

Deepen bedroom organization, tidy up the bed and bedside table, ensuring items are neatly arranged. Assess storage space in the bedroom, optimize storage solutions, use storage boxes or bags to organize seasonal items. Also, develop a bedroom cleaning and maintenance plan to keep the living environment clean and comfortable.

Day 13-14: Simplify Shopping Habits

Simplify shopping habits, create a shopping list and stick to it, avoiding impulse purchases. Only buy items that are truly needed and try to choose high-quality, sustainable products. Assess shopping needs and budgets, reducing unnecessary expenses and waste.

Day 15: Simplify Dietary Habits

Review dietary habits, reduce waste and unnecessary purchases. For example, create a weekly shopping list to avoid frequent outings for shopping.

Day 16: Mental Organization

Examine your mental self, such as social media use, TV watching, etc. Reduce unnecessary mental inputs and make time for genuine interests and hobbies.

Day 17: Time Management

Develop a reasonable time management plan to ensure enough time is allocated each day to accomplish truly important tasks.

Day 18: Exercise

Start a simple exercise plan, such as walking daily, practicing yoga, etc. This helps simplify life and promote physical and mental health.

Day 19: Social Simplification

Examine social activities, reduce unnecessary socializing, and stay connected with those who truly care and support you.

Day 20: Financial Organization

Assess your financial situation, develop a reasonable budget and savings plan. Reduce unnecessary expenses and prepare for future life.

Day 21: Review and Summary

Review the entire 21-day minimalist living plan, summarize your achievements and changes. Develop a continuous minimalist plan for the future.

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Savings Essentials: Three Must-Have Accounts

Saving money can be a daunting task for many ordinary people. Faced with various living expenses and unexpected situations, many people often feel overwhelmed. However, through proper financial planning and setting up appropriate accounts, saving money can also become simple and effective.

1.Daily Expenses Account: Managing Daily Expenditure

The daily expenses account is the foundation of a savings plan. This account is used to pay for daily living expenses such as rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, etc. The purpose of setting up this account is to ensure that your basic living needs are met while avoiding unnecessary expenses.

To effectively manage the daily expenses account, you can take the following measures:

a.Budgeting: Create a budget plan based on your income and living needs. Ensure that the budget covers all necessary expenses and leaves some room for unexpected situations.

b.Expense Tracking: Use budgeting apps or physical notebooks to record every expenditure in detail. This will help you understand your spending habits and identify unnecessary expenses for adjustment.

c.Setting Limits: Set a limit for the daily expenses account to ensure that you don't overspend. When the account balance approaches the limit, remind yourself to control spending.

By managing the daily expenses account effectively, you can better control your expenses and lay a solid foundation for your savings plan.

2.Emergency Reserve Account: Dealing with Emergencies

The emergency reserve account is an indispensable part of a savings plan. This account is used to deal with unexpected events such as unemployment, illness, accidents, etc. Having sufficient emergency funds allows you to stay calm in the face of difficulties and avoid making irrational decisions due to economic pressure.

To establish an effective emergency reserve account, you can consider the following suggestions:

a.Determine the Reserve Amount: Determine a reasonable reserve amount based on your personal situation and family needs. Generally, it is recommended to reserve at least 3-6 months of living expenses.

b.Automatic Savings: Set up an automatic savings plan to transfer a certain amount to the emergency reserve account every month. This ensures that you don't overlook the accumulation of emergency funds due to forgetfulness or other reasons.

c.Avoid Misappropriation: Keep the emergency reserve account separate from other accounts and avoid using it for daily expenses or other non-emergency situations. This ensures the safety and availability of emergency funds.

By establishing an emergency reserve account, you can provide yourself and your family with an economic safety net and reduce the economic pressure brought by unexpected events.

3.Investment Appreciation Account: Making Money Work for You

In addition to daily expenses and emergency reserves accounts, an investment appreciation account is also an important part of a savings plan. This account is used for investment and financial management to generate additional income and increase wealth.

For ordinary people, an investment appreciation account may be a relatively unfamiliar area. Here are some suggestions to help you better manage this account:

a.Learn Investment Knowledge: Before investing, understand basic investment knowledge and risk management methods. This can help you make wiser investment decisions and avoid blind following or risky investments.

b.Diversified Investment: Diversify your funds by investing in different sectors and asset classes to reduce risk. For example, you can invest in stocks, bonds, funds, and other investment products simultaneously.

c.Long-term Investment: The longer you hold investment products, the more likely you are to achieve stable returns. Therefore, it is recommended to view investment as a long-term activity and avoid frequent buying and selling or chasing market trends.

d.Regular Evaluation: Regularly assess the performance of your investment portfolio and the market environment, and make adjustments as needed. This helps you stay focused on and manage your investment accounts to ensure the achievement of investment goals.

By managing the investment appreciation account properly, you can make your money work for you and increase your wealth. However, please note that investment involves risks, so be sure to invest based on an understanding of your risk tolerance and investment goals.

In conclusion, saving money is not an unattainable goal. Saving money is a long-term process that requires patience and perseverance. With proper financial planning and management, believe that you can accumulate your own wealth.

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Beyond Dinner: Showing True Appreciation

In the bustling society, everyone encounters benefactors to varying degrees.

Among them are those who pull us out of life's quagmire, and some help us dispel the fog before our eyes.

To repay kindness, we usually choose to treat them to a meal or give gifts.

But do those who are capable of helping us really care about a meal or a gift?

Undoubtedly, the answer is no, just as the saying goes:

"A good meal can be measured by money, but kindness cannot be compared, nor can it be fully repaid."

The rarest thing in kindness is not the kindness of others but the warmth within it, because the other party is under no obligation.

If you repay casually, you are underestimating this sentiment.

For those who have shown kindness to you, stop repaying them with meals or gifts, and consider learning these three ways:

01 On rainy days, hold an umbrella for them.

A's company had just started to thrive not long ago when a college student named C, recommended by his older brother, came to work at A's company.

A let C choose the position he liked. C was an IT major, and he wanted to apply his expertise, so he proposed connecting the company to the international network, which required a budget.

However, it was the 1990s, and there were still few companies using computers. Moreover, C had just graduated from college and had no work experience. Even A's brother thought he was crazy, and the company's finances were not optimistic.

But A decisively agreed and set up a separate department for C, providing him with sufficient budget.

In fact, A didn't understand the internet or computers, but he chose to trust C.

Later, when C encountered a bottleneck in developing another new technology due to insufficient funds, he had no choice but to turn to A again.

This time, the amount of money needed was relatively large, and the company's finance and others thought C was asking for too much. Only A firmly believed in C.

With the support of this funding, C quickly developed the new technology and signed a large contract with a well-known German company.

Just as C's career was beginning to take off, A's company encountered a financial crisis.

When C learned about it, he hurriedly returned from Germany, disregarding the time difference, and came to A's office, saying he would bring all the money over.

A was surprised to hear this. He knew that the internet project was C's dream, so he said:

"In my heart, I've been thinking for a long time, who would be the first person to send me money? I thought of many people, but I didn't expect it to be you."

C replied, "When I was in my most difficult times, it was you who believed in me, so no matter what difficulties you are facing now, I will do my best to help you."

Everyone experiences times when they forget to bring an umbrella on rainy days, and it's the perfect opportunity to repay kindness, especially by holding an umbrella for them on rainy days.

"Sending charcoal in snowy weather is valuable because few people truly do it."

Most people's repayment of kindness only stays on the surface, with a simple "Let me know if you need anything" or "I'll definitely repay you in the future."

There are very few people who truly take action, and it's precisely because they are rare that they strike a chord in people's hearts.

When they save you at a critical moment, and you help them in times of trouble, this is the perfect completion of friendship.

02 On sunny days, give them applause.

A netizen once expressed his feelings unintentionally, saying:

"The most helpless thing is when others help you, but you can't help them back. Over time, you feel inferior."

Indeed, for those who are grateful, being unable to repay is painful.

We often feel that if someone extends a helping hand to us, we should repay them in the same way.

However, many times, kindness cannot be exchanged equally, even if you have the intention, you may not have the ability or opportunity.

But being unable to help does not mean there is no way to repay.

There are many ways to express gratitude. Even if you cannot hold an umbrella for them on rainy days, at least you can applaud for them on sunny days.

At the 16th Shanghai International Film Festival, Andy Lau solemnly thanked someone in front of many celebrities.

That person was director Tsui Hark.

Andy Lau said that he had only worked with Tsui Hark once, but Tsui Hark had brought him great gains and influence.

Through his collaboration with Tsui Hark, Andy Lau truly learned how to act, how to choose scripts that he liked and audiences liked.

At the same time, Tsui Hark also taught Andy Lau to see the world from another perspective, broadening Andy Lau's cinematic horizons.

Andy Lau openly expressed his gratitude to Tsui Hark for his guidance. When it was announced that Tsui Hark was the recipient of the "Outstanding Contribution to Chinese Cinema Award," Andy Lau immediately walked up, bent down to hug Tsui Hark, and then quietly stepped aside to applaud for Tsui Hark.

Andy Lau integrated his gratitude to Tsui Hark into his admiration and applause, which was indeed a sincere way of expressing gratitude.

In real life, those who can help us are often more capable and outstanding than us.

In their world, sunny days are always more frequent than rainy days, and applauding them during their shining moments is also a heartfelt gesture.

Although the world is never short of those who add flowers to the brocade, sincere support is equally precious.

As the saying goes, "Sincerity is always the killer move."

Repayment doesn't have to be intense; it just needs to be sincere.

People have a heart to repay. Even a simple thank you, a congratulatory word can convey the gratitude in one's heart.

On sunny days, when the sun is shining brightly, coupled with the blooming flowers, it makes for a beautiful story.

03 On cloudy days, visit them often.

Life is like winter weather; there are few rainy and sunny days, and more often, it's just plain cloudy.

The more ordinary the days, the more they test true feelings, after all, time can easily disperse everything.

A doctor once shared her experience.

She was born in a rural area and has suffered from severe hereditary diabetes since childhood. Therefore, she decided to study medicine in college.

When she was in college, she didn't want her classmates to pity her or look down on her, so she didn't tell anyone about her diabetes.

Therefore, she often went to the hospital to get medicine by herself, then secretly hid in the restroom to inject insulin.

Once when she went to the hospital to get medicine, she happened to meet her professor.

Under the professor's inquiry, she revealed the fact that she had diabetes. She thought the professor would inform the school.

Unexpectedly, not only did the professor not mention it to anyone, thus protecting her privacy, but he also consciously or unconsciously took care of her.

The professor knew that her family conditions were not very good, and she needed to continue taking medicine, so he proactively applied for scholarships and financial aid for her.

Sometimes, the professor would also help her do some projects to earn some subsidies or give her some things to adjust her insulin.

From undergraduate to graduate school, whether it was academics or life, the professor helped her a lot.

She was very grateful to the professor in her heart, but she knew that the professor was not lacking materially, so she had never formally repaid him.

But on holidays, she would go to see the professor and his wife, report her situation, and chat with them.

Later, when she encountered difficult medical cases at work, she would consult the professor, and he would always give his opinion without reservation.

She knew that the professor and his wife liked to go to the park, so when she had free time, she would accompany them to walk in the park and take photos with them.

She said:

"Every time I see the professor and his wife smiling happily, I feel warm in my heart.

Although the professor and I initially bonded over his kindness, after many years of interaction, it has long surpassed the original kindness and now feels more like family.

Kindness is often just the starting point of fate.

Daily care is the most heartwarming, and good relationships cannot do without the witness of daily life.

"Relationships, you have to keep moving; the more you move, the more entangled they become, and the more entangled you become, the harder it is to extricate yourself."

Always being able to distinguish between you, me, and him is key to maintaining a sense of distance.

For those with good intentions who have never asked for your repayment, remembering their kindness and visiting them often in ordinary times is already sufficient.

Repayment doesn't require immediate courage; steady effort demonstrates deep affection.

If you want to repay someone, why not use a grateful heart to add warmth to ordinary days and elevate fleeting encounters into lasting relationships.

04 Whether you are mediocre or not, as long as you have a heart, you can always find a suitable way to repay.

Whether it's holding an umbrella on rainy days or applauding on sunny days, or even chatting about everyday life on cloudy days, your efforts to repay are all touching.

"The meaning of life lies in the illumination between people."

Born into loneliness, it is the kindness from others that allows us to feel the warmth of the world.

By continuing this warmth, becoming a light in each other's lives, kindness fulfills its mission.

In this world, nothing is more precious than genuine affection. When others show righteousness, respond with kindness, and fulfill the bonds of fate, you won't regret it!

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Being Simple

In this complex world, we often pursue profound and intricate concepts and convoluted methods. However, in many aspects of life, if we understand the power of simplicity, perhaps we can do better.

I've found that I can't do multiple things at once. When I have too many things on my plate, I often don't do well, which is a kind of foolishness. My personality is suited to doing one thing simply and consistently, and this feeling has grown stronger in recent years. At 40, life is just beginning, or rather, truly beginning. Before the age of 40, I was examining myself, taking all sorts of tests about life. Testing my likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, the light and dark within me, my ability to handle stress, and testing the inner self that I thought I understood but was often misunderstood. The answers from the tests are increasingly inclined towards simplicity.

Doing one thing simply allows me to stay focused. A simple living space, simple social interactions, and so on. Simplicity is a philosophical undertone in my heart, it allows my life to approach purity.

I often find myself unable to adapt to and rejecting complexity. I am a person with unstable inner qualities. I become like those I'm with, my inner qualities tend to converge with theirs. When I'm with people who like to show off, I also become more inclined to show off. When I'm with people who are more gentle, I also become gentler. Sometimes, I become better in crowds, but it's rare. I often find myself becoming worse, at least my inner qualities are no better than when I'm alone.

If I realize that being with someone brings out the worst qualities in me, such as selfishness, jealousy, hypocrisy, prejudice, fickleness, etc., I will quickly distance myself from them, reduce contact ruthlessly, or even naturally end the relationship. I hate the way I am when I'm with them.

I'm like a playful little lamb, unwilling to follow the flock towards that hillside, because in my heart flows the ripples of a stream. You may find the hillside lush, but I find the stream sweet. I choose to run happily towards the stream.

What I'm writing here is all personal insights. If you find that I belong to a category of people you dislike, then you'd better stay away from me. Not every blogger on the internet with followers is worth following. We should make some evaluations, examining the performances of others, as well as examining our own hearts. If you happen to agree with these views, it means that our spiritual undertones are somewhat similar, which is quite rare. Some people may never find the similarities between each other even if they spend their entire lives together.

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"Laziness is your body's best signal."

In life, I've found that many people who aren't doing well often encounter this dilemma: they have many ideas, but their motivation always lags behind. They often have many things they want to do, always ambitious and making many plans, but in the end, they fail to complete them for various reasons. Over time, people become frustrated and lack confidence. Some even feel like they're just lazy, destined to waste their lives. In fact, motivation is the key factor that sets people apart. On a smaller scale, it affects the achievement of one or two things; on a larger scale, if motivation cannot keep up in the long run, people will develop self-doubt and become more self-conscious and withdrawn in the face of repeated setbacks. We usually think that the strength of motivation depends on willpower and perseverance, and those without motivation are simply lazy.

But in psychology, the key to improving motivation lies in building good relationships, which involves two aspects:

1. Relationship with tasks;

2. Relationship with oneself. A person who always lacks motivation may not necessarily have a problem with themselves but because they haven't built good relationships.

1.Relationship with tasks: Why do you want to change?

"Building good relationships" may sound abstract at first, but it's actually closely related to our lives. I once had an interesting job: providing psychological support for people trying to lose weight. In my daily work, I needed to understand their emotional state, progress in weight loss, and effectiveness, etc. After a while, I found that I had inadvertently acquired a skill: predicting whether someone would succeed in losing weight (with an accuracy rate of about 80%). I didn't need to know their physical indicators but to understand their motivations for losing weight. I would ask everyone the same question: what happened that made you decide to lose weight? Different answers reflect different understandings of weight loss. The first two types of people have the shallowest understanding of weight loss and are just making impulsive decisions. This means that there is only a weak connection between them and the goal of "losing weight," and the motivation they can stimulate is also very limited. So, it's easy to become enthusiastic for a short time, but once the initial excitement wears off, it becomes difficult to have motivation again. The third situation is slightly better. Some older friends who are in poor health often suffer from illness and hope to lose weight to become healthy and reduce pain. This means that their connection with "losing weight" will be deeper, and they will have more motivation to keep going. Therefore, even though their metabolism is lower and losing weight is more difficult, because their motivation is stronger, their motivation is also stronger, and they are more likely to succeed. Of course, this motivation is still not the highest, after all, they are urged to lose weight by a doctor. However, it's easy to see that the degree of motivation shown by different degrees of connection with the goal will be completely different.

2.The strongest motivation comes from the deepest relationships

In fact, weight loss is like a metaphor for many things in life. We often make many plans, such as reading, taking exams, going to bed and getting up early, eating a balanced diet, learning new skills, etc. Everyone knows that these things are "good" and worth doing, but when it comes to action, they find themselves with more will than strength. That's because the understanding of "good" at this time only stays at the level of the mind and lacks experience. Conversely, when a person has a deep understanding and experience of what they are doing, they can generate tremendous motivation.

Once, I met a lady named Lee, who showed amazing execution in losing weight. In her past life, she had always been chubby and had never seriously tried to lose weight. But after starting a strict exercise and diet plan, she hardly ever missed a day and rarely complained. I was curious why she was so good at it, so Lee shared her experience with me. All along, her attitude towards life had been perfunctory; she just got by at work, wasn't invested in relationships, and handled conflicts with her boyfriend coldly. She never thought there would be any problem with this. Until last year, she was suddenly fired from her job and broke up. The two blows struck her suddenly like lightning, and she realized the problem and felt unprecedented pain. Lee wanted to change, but she felt powerless and felt a huge sense of powerlessness and loss of control. Just when she was feeling hopeless, she accidentally ran into a high school friend she hadn't seen in years. In her memory, her friend was just like her, chubby, timid, and lacking in confidence. But now, her friend had almost completely changed. Not only had she become thinner, but she also seemed confident in her speech and demeanor, appearing poised and confident in everything she did. Lee deeply admired her friend's state, and her friend shared how she had changed little by little. Lee listened intently and also had a thought in her heart: maybe I can change myself and take control of my life. Not long after, Lee celebrated her 30th birthday and made a wish: to change herself and take back control of her life. One of the first things she did was to take control of her weight. For Lee, losing weight was not just about becoming beautiful and healthy, but also about helping herself overcome the anxiety of losing control and regain confidence. Therefore, she had an extremely deep connection with the goal of losing weight, which naturally kept her motivated. Lee’s state has since improved, making others envious. So, is it certain that as long as you establish a deep relationship with what you are doing, you can persist? Not necessarily.

Because there is another influencing factor: the relationship with oneself.

3.Relationship with oneself: Is change motivated by "self-love" or "self-hatred"?

Observing those around you, you will find that many people are indeed determined to do something but still procrastinate or even give up halfway. The reason is that they often do things in a state of "self-hatred." You may feel puzzled: isn't growth and change about making oneself better, isn't it "self-love"? Not necessarily! Sharing a personal experience: At the end of last year, I resumed my habit of running, but before that, I had procrastinated on running for almost half a year. I often encountered situations where I would set my alarm clock the night before to remind myself to get up early to run, but the next day, I often woke up but didn't want to get out of bed. Or, I would finally go out, but after running for less than 10 minutes, I wanted to give up. Why would this happen? Later, I realized that it was because I would set a series of invisible high goals for myself, such as: I must start running at 6:30; I must run more than 3 kilometers continuously; I can't run too slowly... These goals may seem ordinary, but for someone like me who was used to sleeping late and hadn't exercised for a long time, they were actually quite difficult. Why would I set such high goals? Later, I realized a deeper truth: because I didn't like myself. During that time, I was very dissatisfied with myself, thinking that I was performing poorly in all aspects of work and life. Therefore, I hated to see this annoying self and wanted to change immediately. Therefore, when setting goals, I wasn't considering whether the goal could be achieved but was immersed in a state of self-disgust, setting unrealistic goals. Deep down, I would think: only by reaching such high standards can I prove that I'm not bad, and only then can I be satisfied with myself. However, unrealistic goals only bring continuous setbacks. I would become irritated by small things. For example, if I woke up late or ran slowly, I would judge and deny myself: "Why am I so bad!" And the subconscious mind tends to seek benefit and avoid harm. When running each time meant enduring the pain of criticism, unconsciously, I would become procrastinated. After all, as long as I didn't do it, I wouldn't have to face the bloody setbacks. Therefore, in an atmosphere of self-disgust, people are destined to become exhausted when doing things, and naturally, motivation will decrease.

4.When motivation is lacking, it is even more important to love oneself

Indeed, when changing, people often have both feelings of "self-love" and "self-hatred," but be careful not to let the latter dominate. Careful observation will reveal that many people seemingly set positive and upward growth goals, but many of them are venting their dissatisfaction with themselves by setting high goals. For example, some people change their profile pictures to "won't change until I lose ten pounds," or make a New Year's resolution to "read a book a week"... These goals not only are difficult to achieve, leading to self-doubt, but they also disrupt the rhythm of action. And many people are addicted to self-blame because of the influence of wrong ideas, thinking that the more cruel and demanding they are to themselves, the better they will become. But that's not true. While self-blame can sometimes generate short-term motivation, fundamentally, it's a state of being hostile to oneself, which only consumes energy in self-struggle. Therefore, to obtain sustainable motivation, we need to change our relationship with ourselves. Later, through continuous awareness and adjustment, I redeveloped the habit of running and summarized three steps. If you encounter similar difficulties, you may want to try it.

a.See the real self

Bad relationships often stick to "as I wish," while good relationships accept things "as they are." The former disregards the actual situation and focuses solely on that ideal goal, while the latter sees and accepts the true self. I remind myself: although life may not be going well right now, and I haven't exercised in a long time, planning to start moving now is already good. It's inevitable that I can't run or run slowly at this time. When I think like this, my self-blame decreases, and I can see a few things about myself that are worthy of praise. In fact, everyone is like this. Behind the dissatisfaction with oneself also means that we are in a trough, and the difficulty of change is the greatest at this time. But we are still determined to salvage ourselves, and this intention alone is worthy of affirmation and recognition. When we can realize this, self-acceptance will increase, and the insistence on high goals will decrease.

Lower the goal and rebuild the "relationship" I remind myself: now, my main task is to reduce psychological burden and find a way to make running a less stressful activity for me. So, I readjusted the goal of running, focusing not on how fast or how far to run but setting a minimum standard: to go out. As long as I run, I achieve my goal, and that is a victory. Therefore, my stress was minimized, and I successfully turned running into a habit. Actually, when you find it difficult to act, you might as well lower the standard, get yourself moving, and continue before there's a chance for progress.

b.The worse the performance, the more support you need for yourself

Later, when my running state recovered, I could run more than 8 kilometers each time, and my requirements for myself also unknowingly increased. But once, perhaps because my condition was really bad, it took me 30 minutes to "run" just 3 kilometers. This is a very slow pace, and at first, I felt embarrassed and didn't want to post on social media. But then I realized: am I running to prove it to others? Of course not, I'm doing it for myself. At the same time, even if I perform poorly, I accept this imperfect self. When I think like this, I don't feel defeated but feel a kind of power connected to myself. I am no longer an enemy with myself but a friend fighting side by side.

In conclusion

Actually, when you find yourself always having the will but lacking the strength, don't rush to doubt or deny yourself. Those things that have shallow connections with yourself don't have to be forced, try doing goals that you are more willing to do first. And on the road to growth, everyone will have moments of poor performance. The more difficult the time, the more we need to avoid adding insult to injury to ourselves, support and understand ourselves more. Only then can we rebuild our relationship and truly improve our motivation.

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