Thriving in Midlife: Unlocking Three Healing Words

As one reaches middle age, it's not just about taking care of one's body but also nurturing the inner self, living life to its fullest, so as not to have lived in vain.

The following three words are the most healing, embodying three kinds of life wisdom. Let's see how many you've achieved:

Stability

I once saw a video that went viral, showing a three or four-year-old girl trying to put the lunch her mother had just prepared into a bag. Unfortunately, the girl didn't hold it steadily, and the lunchbox spilled, scattering the food instantly.

Seeing the mess without knowing what had happened, the mother didn't get angry or scold the girl. Instead, she gently asked, "Did you accidentally spill Mommy's lunch?"

The little girl was a bit bewildered and responded tearfully.

The mother immediately hugged her daughter, comforting her, saying she was just asking if it was accidentally spilled.

After getting a reassuring answer from her daughter, the mother patiently advised her daughter to be more careful next time and to remember to ask for help.

Under the video, netizens praised the scene, envying the happiness of such a "fairy-tale family." Many also sighed that it's possible not to be scolded for breaking things.

For middle-aged women, what they fear the most is becoming a nagging complainer.

Complaining about not getting cared for despite the hard work, accusing of not getting returns for their efforts, having unstable emotions, hurting others and themselves more.

There's a term in psychology called "emotional cost," for example, if you accidentally oversleep for an hour today, and you fret about it for another hour, you've suddenly lost even more time.

People with unstable emotions and an unstable core are prone to irritability. They complain when faced with a setback or unnecessarily put pressure on themselves, ending up burdened beyond measure and greatly reducing their quality of life.

When angry, it's worth asking oneself, "Do I really need to be angry about this?" or "Is it necessary for me to be this angry?" This way, emotions can calm down quickly, and one can approach problems more rationally.

As you experience more, you'll understand that the greatest wisdom for middle-aged people lies in maintaining stable emotions at all times, after all, only by steadying oneself can everything else be stabilized.

Subtraction

The more one desires, the more one should learn to subtract.

Rather than being bogged down by distractions, it's better to employ subtractive thinking, eliminating spiritual burdens to achieve true freedom and happiness.

"Trimming down in life, actively letting go, is true self-love."

In the journey of life, if you desire too much, your baggage will only get heavier, making it difficult to move forward in the end.

In middle age, many things require one's attention, so learning to subtract from life becomes particularly important:

Reduce material desires and attachments to harvest inner richness;

Reduce feelings of inferiority and arrogance to remain truly calm and composed;

Reduce complaints and distractions in the mind to achieve happiness and peace.

Happiness means having freedom and choice, but more freedom and choice don't necessarily bring greater happiness. In fact, the more choices you have, the less happy you tend to be.

Therefore, the more one lets go, the richer one's inner life becomes.

Learning to simplify is a kindness to oneself and the most sophisticated way of living.

By letting go of desires, lowering expectations, reducing internal conflicts, one becomes lighter in body and mind, and one's steps naturally become swifter.

May you and I both be able to cut off negative emotions in time, abandon excessive material desires, break free from self-imposed limitations, and reduce the burdens on the journey ahead, embracing a life of ease and contentment.

Patience

Have you ever noticed that the more you rush to have something, the farther away it seems to be?

Because the more impatient you are, the more anxious your emotions become, and the easier it is to make hasty mistakes, often resulting in more harm than good.

Some people say, "A word commonly heard is 'fast,' but in fact, being too fast is the easiest way to make mistakes. Before embarking on a big task, you should first understand the situation and make reasonable judgments before taking action."

Haste makes waste, while patience leads to success. Often, it's the mindset that determines the outcome. If faced with urgency, the mindset should be calm and composed, and actions should be steady.

"Take it slow, and even slower. The things that must be dealt with immediately should be set aside for a while, perhaps then you'll achieve the desired results."

In middle age, you'll come to understand that many answers to life's questions can only be given by time, and being impatient is of no use.

When faced with difficulties, it might be worth giving yourself some time, taking things slowly, often revealing hidden opportunities.

As the saying goes, "Plan before acting." When encountering something, first devise a strategy, then take action. It may seem slow on the surface, but it's actually more efficient. By taking things slowly, you'll ultimately move faster.

In a person's initial reaction to a situation lies the knowledge, character, and cultivation accumulated throughout their growth.

Taking a step back allows one to view and contemplate from a distance, listening to the most authentic voice within. You'll understand what's important, what's not; what's necessary, what's superfluous.

There aren't many things in life that require immediate action or fierce competition. Many things need to simmer slowly to become truly flavorful.

May we all be able to give life gravity, find spiritual refuge, enjoy the passage of time, settle into the routines, calmly and contently being ourselves.

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A trait found in unlucky people

"Why do people talk less as they grow older?"

Some people say:

"Because they've suffered from speaking too much." When they were young, they were less guarded and tended to share everything about themselves.

But as they grow older, they realize:

The more they speak, the more mistakes they make.

It's better not to speak.

Others say:

"Because the more they know, the more cautious they become in speaking." When they were young, they loved to argue and persuade others.

But as they grow older, they realize they know too little and dare not speak much for fear of revealing their ignorance.

"A full bottle makes no sound, but a half bottle makes a noise."

Don't talk about your private affairs to outsiders.

I once heard a story that made me sigh.

A friend's company hired a new colleague named C, and my friend worked with her a few times.

She seemed capable, and her personality was quite gentle.

But C didn't last long before suddenly resigning.

"Recently, there have been rumors flying around the company about her, maybe she couldn't take it anymore."

And these rumors, surprisingly, originated from C herself.

Shortly after joining the company, she got along well with colleague A and confided her personal life to her:

She had been divorced before and was now remarried to a man 15 years older than her.

She didn't mean any harm, but listener A told others.

Perhaps her intention was just to gossip, without malice.

But as rumors go, they become more exaggerated.

"At such a young age, marrying an older man, she must be after his money."

"Maybe she divorced her ex-husband just for this older man."

The gossip became nastier and nastier.

Over time, not only did her colleagues gossip about C behind her back, but even the boss heard about it.

They even began to doubt her competence at work.

"C probably didn't know what she did wrong until she resigned."

Similar stories are not uncommon in our lives.

A netizen said:

"Sometimes when I feel wronged, I can't help but confide in someone, but immediately regret it.

It's like handing someone a weapon against yourself, burying a landmine for yourself."

Others say:

"Most of the time, by the time I realize I should keep quiet, I've already said it."

I once heard a saying:

You tell a secret to the wind, and it spreads throughout the forest.

Indeed, prevention is better than cure!

If you're also confused about what you can and cannot say,

here's a tip from me:

Whether it's about our family background, savings, marital status, children's development, family conflicts, health, career plans, etc., anything related to privacy or interests is best left unsaid.

Regardless of whether it's good or bad.

If you say you're doing well, financially secure, it's easy to provoke jealousy;

If you say you're doing poorly, you'll inevitably be looked down upon.

It's human nature to praise the higher and disparage the lower.

A netizen once said:

"There are many things I don't like about my parents.

But I would never say anything negative about them in front of others.

If others look down on my family, they will naturally look down on me too."

Trust is too precious to be given to just anyone.

If you're still unsure, remember this:

Don't say anything you're not sure you should say.

Shallow exchanges are the most taboo.

Don't casually criticize others.

Shutting up is not only a matter of cultivation but also kindness.

Besides not judging others' lives at will,

there's another thing you absolutely shouldn't say:

Other people's rights and wrongs.

Regardless of whether it concerns you.

Before, there was an intern at our company who was obedient and clever.

But her supervisor had a fiery temper.

Whenever the intern didn't do her job well, she would give her a good scolding without mercy.

Once, when the company had dinner together,

Everyone comforted the intern, saying her supervisor had a bad temper, and she shouldn't take it to heart.

Even though the supervisor wasn't present at the time, the girl didn't show any dissatisfaction, just saying:

"I do have many shortcomings, so the supervisor criticizes me."

This sentence greatly increased everyone's favorability towards the girl.

They felt she was humble and could endure.

So shortly after, they helped her secure better job opportunities, and her salary doubled.

Speaking, perhaps, requires ability; but not speaking requires even more wisdom.

Keeping your mouth shut is not just a matter of refinement but also a form of kindness.

Often, people have different opinions simply because their standpoints are different.

It's not about right or wrong.

Do you really need to argue to win?

It's unnecessary.

We all have different perceptions.

Perceptions are influenced by our complex life experiences.

People can only believe what they've seen and experienced.

Upon careful consideration, when we insist on winning the argument, there's often an underlying message:

"I want to prove that I'm better than you."

But because the other party is "unrepentant," we can never "win," and this frustrates us.

Why bother?

To save face for a moment, we waste a lot of time and emotions.

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Grown-Up Goodbyes

01

Early this year, I bumped into some elementary school classmates during a wedding. We hadn't really kept in touch since graduating, so suddenly seeing each other, we barely remembered how we looked as kids, and we couldn't even recall each other's names. After exchanging a few words, we had to find some topics to chat about. Despite trying to reminisce about our limited shared memories from the past, we exchanged contacts, saying we should keep in touch more often. After lunch, I made an excuse to leave. In the evening, he messaged me, saying he and a few other elementary school classmates were going to have tea. My instinctive reaction was to decline. We hadn't seen each other for many years, and suddenly being together again, we were unfamiliar with each other. Going there would only lead to awkwardness, so I thought it was better to refuse outright and be honest about it.

02

Friendships require shared experiences to sustain them.

The more we work, the fewer friends we have around us. Even those friendships that were once good tend to fade away without shared experiences. I've never believed in friendships lasting forever. Even if separated by mountains and seas, we can still miss and cherish each other only if there are shared experiences. Friends need shared experiences to sustain them. Have you ever felt this way? If you haven't seen a friend for many years and suddenly meet, do you expect to hug each other with tears in your eyes? It's not the case. Instead, there's just awkwardness. Even when chatting, it's still about past shared experiences, digging into the memories to fill the emptiness and awkwardness of the present. You may think the relationship has changed, but it hasn't. It's just that you lack shared experiences and no longer spend as much time together as before. Therefore, true friends need to stay in touch regularly. The farther apart you are, the weaker the relationship becomes.

03

One day, I suddenly remembered a good friend from high school. We were classmates in high school, but we rarely kept in touch after graduation. We reconnected and met up twice. Then, we lost touch again. That day, I suddenly thought of him and wanted to see how he was doing, so I found him on social media. After exchanging greetings and asking about each other's situation, there was silence. We had to deliberately find some topics to talk about. We talked about our high school classmates who were close to us. As we talked, I felt bored. It seemed that we didn't have much to talk about, and it felt awkward to chat. The more we tried to find topics, the more awkward it became. At that moment, I knew we couldn't go back to how we were before. We couldn't talk to each other about everything like we used to. So, after one last boring conversation, I ended the chat myself. I knew I wouldn't initiate contact with him again because we had nothing to talk about, and chatting felt awkward and boring. Did we have a falling out? No, we were both polite and exchanged greetings, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Between friends, there's no need for politeness and formality; the more polite you are, the more distant you seem.

04

Friendships tend to diminish as adults.

As we work, we make many acquaintances in the workplace, add many people on social media, and become close to many people, eating and going out together. However, suddenly, one day, we bid each other farewell and never contact each other again. Adult friendships are either based on emotions or interests. Emotional bonds are considered a luxury for people in the workplace. It's difficult for us to make friends in the workplace. Even if you work and eat together every day, and even go shopping hand in hand, these relationships only last during working hours. After work, everyone goes their separate ways. Friendship in the workplace is best left undisturbed, as this is the greatest form of respect. Such friendships only last until the day you leave your job, and afterwards, everyone goes their separate ways, forgetting each other in the hustle and bustle of life. Most people's friendships are formed during their school years. After all, when we're young, we prioritize emotions, but as adults, we prioritize interests. Without shared interests, it's difficult for adults to make friends. After all, everyone is busy, and if there's nothing to do, there's no need to meet up.

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Reclaim Your Evenings

Some people choose to watch videos, read the news, or catch up on entertainment gossip to relax after work. Others opt for exercise to alleviate the accumulated stress from the day. There are also those who indulge in a hearty meal and share their work woes with friends.

If you are a working parent, the after-work golden three hours are divided into two parts: one for the child and the other for themselves. Squeezing out some time from the busy schedule to improve oneself is crucial. Only by doing so can we bridge the gap between individuals. Year after year, why not make a resolution to change oneself within a year? Time will surely provide the answers.

Don't treat your life with indifference, as we are all aging with each passing moment. Life is what you make of it. Daydreaming and idleness each consume a day, but engaging in activities that yield results is more fulfilling. Therefore, ladies, let's not settle for mediocrity. Let's strive for self-improvement and seize control of our lives.

1. Reading

The golden hours after work are perfect for expanding knowledge. There are many ways to relax and unwind:

a. Read a book: Enjoy the experience of reading instead of treating it like a task. Immerse yourself in a good book to truly appreciate it.

b. Watch high-quality documentaries: Documentaries offer a real glimpse into the world, broadening our horizons and helping us find answers in this era of information overload.

c. Watch debates: Observing debates challenges our critical thinking skills and encourages us to view the world from multiple perspectives.

d. Watch highly-rated movies: Emotional peaks in movies often inspire creativity. They allow us to experience emotions we may not encounter in our daily lives and help us express ourselves through writing.

e. Attend online lectures: Continuing education through online lectures can broaden our horizons, especially practical courses that offer valuable skills.

2. Organizing Files

Take time to organize files on your computer and mobile devices. Categorizing them makes it easier to find what you need and frees up memory space. Cultivate the habit of organizing to improve work efficiency and avoid minor annoyances like slow devices or lost files.

3. Exercise

Engage in physical activity before dinner to stimulate your appetite and alleviate work-related stress. After a long day at the office, outdoor activities help relax and recalibrate your state of mind.

4. Pursue Hobbies

Whether it's programming, writing, photography, or painting, indulge in hobbies that interest you. Pursuing hobbies makes mundane days more enjoyable and enriches your life with valuable skills and experiences.

5. Complete Unfinished Tasks

Each day brings its own set of plans. Utilize the three hours after work to accomplish tasks outside of work responsibilities. As a writing enthusiast, I capture inspiration whenever it strikes and use this time to organize my thoughts and write articles. Focusing on work during work hours ensures that after-work time is fully devoted to personal pursuits.

In the end, life is what you make of it. Whether you choose to remain complacent or push yourself to strive for more, the choice is yours. Destiny lies in your hands—whether to hold on tight or let go is entirely up to you.

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The Best Version of Oneself

01

During a stroll, a cat encountered a snail slowly climbing up the wall.

The cat was very curious and approached to see if this snail felt that life was both long and meaningless, thus wanting to end it in such a gruesome way.

A snail, carrying its heavy shell, climbing on a steep wall, about two meters above the ground. If it fell, its shell would likely break, causing injury, possibly leading to its demise.

But it seemed unaware of this danger, still moving slowly. The cat asked the snail, "This is too risky, come down quickly, you'll get hurt. The sky is not a place you can touch, the ground is your habitat."

The snail moved its antennae and casually said, "What is a place I shouldn't go, and what is a place I should go? We are meeting for the first time, you are not familiar with my past, how can you define my future?"

The cat said, "Sorry, I'm just worried about you."

The snail continued, "Thank you for your concern. I will be responsible for my own choices. You go your way without stopping, and I'll endure my rain. Although it's cold at the top, I can see many views that are not usually seen. I'm prepared to be hurt, no matter what, this life must do something for oneself. Although the road ahead is difficult, almost impossible to others, I won't be shaken by their words. Some things need to be done by someone. Step by step, I can reach the end."

The cat didn't know the meaning of such perseverance. While contemplating, the snail moved a bit closer to the roof.

Everyone has their own path to take. How can you determine someone else's ending based on your experiences? There are always those who break barriers, those who sacrifice for their ideals. Don't attach the label of "I'm doing this for your own good" anymore. Too heavy a sacrifice will become pressure for others.

Walk your own path, whether it leads to laughter or tears, to blossoms or withering. Who can be sure?

02

Looking at the heavy shell on the snail's back, this journey must be exhausting.

With such a burden, can it really reach the end?

The snail seemed to sense the cat’s worry. It didn't speak but showed the answer through its actions.

It's slower in speed, technique, and even strength compared to other crawling creatures. Yet it continues to move forward with determination, despite the slow pace.

Yes, the snail carries so much weight, yet it's not afraid of difficulties. Why is the cat hesitating without even taking the first step?

The cat knows the burden on its shoulders well, and the cat also have the selfish desire to go far away. But the cat never knew how to balance the two, thus trapped in contradictions, unable to move forward.

The snail's journey unraveled the problem that had troubled the cat for a long time. Keep moving forward, it's difficult to break free from doubts by looking back and forth.

The journey of life is full of challenges, just to meet a better self.

03

Some people like sunny days, some like cloudy days, and some even like rainy days. We shouldn't give up our ideals because of others' remarks like "it's not good," "I don't like it," or "I think it won't work."

Those who have said I can't have not accomplished much in their lives. We're all the same, who's nobler than whom?

There's a saying: "The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, the second-best time is now." Make progress every day, just keep persisting, and time will give you the answer.

The snail challenges the impossible, but who dares to say it won't be on the rooftop? As long as you persist day by day, anything is possible.

Time will give us answers, not those who keep denying you.

Instead of lingering on, struggling with conflicting thoughts, focus on the path ahead, walk slowly, walk firmly, walk the path you want, live the life you want.

Live happily, live a fulfilling life.

04

In the aging years, please be kind to yourself.

When tired, sleep early; when weary, rest well. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Apply a face mask, soak your feet, eat something nice, drink something warm. Only by relaxing appropriately can you go further.

Those who love you won't mind if you're slow. Those who dislike you will find fault no matter what you do, so don't take it to heart.

No flower blooms from the beginning, nor does any flower remain in bloom until the end.

In the blink of an eye, it's a lifetime. Don't worry about what works or doesn't work. Only by doing will you know. What I found unbearable last year has become a thing of the past.

Days will only get better, and so will you. With this belief and action, no matter what others say, anything that stops you from getting better is nonsense!

For the rest of your life, don't exhaust yourself in busyness. Do things you like to improve your mood. Stay away from the crowd to get closer to yourself. Devote yourself to reading and encounter a better soul.

The best version of oneself is to live according to one's own will, without being humble or scornful, without envying or mocking others, without relying on anyone else. Each striving to live their own life well.

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The Golden Rule of Socializing: Focus on You, Not Them

Focus on You, Not Them.

It seems simple, but it's not easy to do. In the process of communicating with others, instead of overthinking about them, it's better to express yourself clearly.

As for the outcome, if you can chat, then chat; if not, then be quiet. If the other person lacks manners, then you also don't need to maintain yours all the time.

We should know that the essence of social interaction is actually about filtering and exchanging. Filtering is a set of standards for interaction, with your own feelings and interests as the bottom line; exchanging is one of the purposes of socializing, with your own resources as the exchange value.

So never ignore your own feelings. Not everyone is worth your time and energy to socialize with. And those worth your time and energy must pass through your filtering.

Just need to stick to two principles. The first principle is to care about your own feelings and defend your own interests. The second principle is to adhere to the first principle.

For those who turn against you, just turn against them directly. There's no need to analyze their behavior, speculate about their thoughts, or dwell too much on it. Even if it's a client, you still need to filter them appropriately, let alone colleagues or friends.

Some may ask, wouldn't this approach be too self-centered? However, is socializing not self-centered? So you only need to understand your own value and purpose, know your bottom line, and don't need to analyze or speculate about others.

If you don't actively filter friends, you'll be filtered by others. Some may also ask, wouldn't this mean you won't make friends? In fact, it's difficult to find like-minded friends throughout life. There's no need to forcefully make friends; avoiding internal conflicts and being comfortable with yourself is most important.

Moreover, not all so-called friends are true friends. It's better to focus on improving yourself. If you bloom, the breeze will come naturally.

Especially when you're feeling low and weak, you'll always think about others' company and inspiration. Continuously analyzing others will only lead to increasing feelings of inferiority and emptiness.

If this is the case, the biggest issue isn't communication but lack of confidence. The lower your confidence, the less you should care about others' words, not analyze others, and do what you think is right, focusing on completing your main tasks.

Remember, scumbags love people with a ‘victimized’ mentality the most. When your confidence rises and you're mentally strong, then actively absorb what's beneficial to you in social interactions. At this point, you won't fall into internal conflicts or doubt yourself again.

True social champions all have one thing in common: they confidently defend their interests, express their feelings clearly and assertively, and always prioritize themselves.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Don't be afraid to confront conflicts. Relationships that can be torn apart, don’t matter much.

2. Maintain eye contact during conversations to let the other person feel your presence.

3. Knowing what you want is enough; there's no need to analyze others.

4. True strength lies in accepting your imperfections. Don't lose confidence because you think you're imperfect.

5. Don't attempt to change others, including your parents. Smart Adults only filter, they don't educate.

Everyone should care about their own feelings, but not to the extreme, and not to stubbornly persist. You need to weigh the pros and cons, act accordingly, and realize that treating social interactions as a zero-sum game won't last long.

If you encounter someone with a similar magnetic field or frequency, perhaps you'll be willing to unconditionally treat them well.

You are the protagonist of your life, overcome the challenges, and become a better person.

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Boost Your Luck: Cultivate a High-Energy Constitution

During our academic years, we compete with our intelligence; during work, we compete with our emotional intelligence; it's only in the latter half of life that we realize energy is more important than intelligence or emotional intelligence. People with low energy often feel passive and lazy, unable to handle pressure and setbacks. They collapse at the slightest difficulty and struggle to achieve anything consistently. On the other hand, individuals with high energy are full of vitality. When faced with problems, they don't easily retreat but actively break through obstacles, continuously progressing in life.

Indeed, this is true. Life is not a sprint but a marathon. Those who have abundant energy often emerge victorious in the end. To maintain a good state, one must cultivate a "high-energy constitution." It's not that you have bad luck, but your energy is too low. Psychological energy is the driving force of personality; it propels a person to accomplish various mental activities.

When a person's energy is too low, they feel unmotivated to do anything, trapped in a state of depression, lacking the drive to move forward.

Netizen B once vented about her experience: After graduation, she landed a decent job at a large company. She thought she would continue steadily on this path. However, over the years, the company's performance declined significantly, leading to layoffs, and her department was also at risk.

Faced with pressure, B spent her days worrying and complaining, working lazily and avoiding putting in effort. As a result, she was among the first batch of employees to be laid off. Ironically, shortly after she left, the industry began to recover, and her former colleagues who persevered were promoted. B believed she just had bad luck.

However, upon closer analysis, it was clear that her internal energy had a significant impact. Our energy is like the battery of a phone; it gets depleted and can be drained to zero. If we use up all our energy on internal struggles when faced with problems, we won't have the energy to make changes, and life will inevitably fall into a negative cycle.

There are often two types of people around us: one with good overall abilities but who enjoys negative complaining, resulting in a worsening situation; the other may seem ordinary but always faces problems with a positive attitude, attracting good luck and connections. The difference lies in the level of energy.

Low-energy individuals exhibit a perception of threat. They adopt a defensive attitude toward everything around them, constantly giving themselves negative suggestions, resulting in lethargy and despondency in self-pity. On the other hand, high-energy individuals exhibit a perception of opportunity. They give themselves positive suggestions, enabling them to better face challenges and seize opportunities.

Throughout life, we inevitably confront pressure and difficulties. If even a slight disturbance causes us to lose our composure, we will only exhaust ourselves in negative emotions. The lower the valley, the more important it is to manage one's energy well, not to worry prematurely, not to anticipate troubles.

Adjusting one's mentality, believing that difficulties are temporary, gives us the courage to face challenges and overcome obstacles. Managing one's energy is managing one's life. When a person finds it difficult to get through tough times, ultimately, it's because of insufficient energy. Many times, what traps a person is not external problems but internal feelings of powerlessness. By managing one's internal energy well, one gains the energy to deal with worldly challenges.

C was troubled by her introverted personality when she first graduated. At that time, she worked for a publishing company and often needed to communicate and negotiate with clients. However, because she was not good at communication, she was often scolded by some arrogant clients as "useless," even in front of her boss. Once, a client even said in front of the boss that she was not suitable for the job.

Faced with everyone's doubts, C fell into serious self-doubt: on the one hand, she doubted herself, and on the other hand, she constantly tried to prove herself. During that time, she often felt exhausted and suffered greatly. Fortunately, with the help of friends, she realized that although she couldn't change her personality, she could leverage her sincerity and empathy. Instead of letting others affect her mood, she devoted all her energy to improving herself and even summarized a set of "negotiation skills for introverts." She strongly agreed with a saying: "More important than time management is energy management."

Faced with the disturbances from the outside world, we must learn to focus on ourselves: take care of our emotions, don't exhaust ourselves, don't prove ourselves. Continuously enriching and cultivating ourselves allows us to nourish our inner selves and gain a continuous flow of energy.

Truly capable individuals have high-energy constitutions.

Each of us has a corresponding energy level, and the higher the energy level, the more likely we are to attract good luck and good things. To maintain a positive state, one must reduce consumption and engage in activities that recharge oneself.

Reduce "negative suggestions" and adopt "positive suggestions." Some may ask, "I can't seem to be happy; what should I do?" The answer is to laugh heartily every day and suggest to yourself: "I am happy and fortunate." Recall if you've ever experienced this: when feeling low, you think you're worthless and filled with anxiety about the future. Faced with challenges, you hesitate and vacillate; when feeling good, you feel empowered and in control, more willing to face challenges.

This is the influence of psychological suggestions. All our actions stem from our inner "thoughts." Only by believing in ourselves and our ability to deal with problems can we solve them. Providing ourselves with positive suggestions and learning to think positively can reduce internal consumption and increase our energy.

Change "low-energy postures" and adopt "high-energy postures." The state of the body determines our psychological state. A good posture brings positive energy to emotions. In life, we must actively maintain awareness of our bodies, consciously adopting "high-energy postures" such as standing tall with our heads held high and hands on hips. Adjusting our posture can quickly boost our spirits and reduce anxiety.

Stop excessive rumination and return to the present moment. Many people have experienced this: before giving a speech, they start worrying about "what if I make a mistake?" and end up making mistakes. Before meeting a client, they fret about "what if this person is difficult to deal with?" and end up having a hard time. Why does this happen? Because thinking without action is the most energy-consuming.

When our energy is too low, we become sluggish and prone to making mistakes. However, when you focus on the process of things—prepare the speech earnestly or remember the client's needs and preferences carefully before meeting them—using energy for action rather than aimless thinking allows life to enter a positive cycle of improvement. There's a saying:

"Energy is a person's inner vitality. The kind of energy you have determines the kind of life you lead." Fill yourself with energy, and the road ahead will be steady.

Luck is nothing more than focusing one's energy on the right things, day after day, reaping a better self and attracting more beautiful things. When you manage your energy well and learn to relax your inner self, not losing yourself in external voices or consuming yourself in excessive worries, and focus on what you can do, everything you desire will come your way.

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"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

A while ago, after watching Ne Zha 2, I was chatting with a friend about the storyline.

I mentioned that I didn’t like Taiyi Zhenren.
He always seemed careless and unserious — even when danger was imminent, he was still joking around. He struck me as completely unreliable.

I thought others would feel the same.
But later, when I read interviews with the creators and fans, I was surprised:

"Taiyi’s Sichuan accent is hilarious — just seeing him makes me happy!"

"I envy people like him: carefree, cheerful, able to eat and laugh heartily!"

"He has such a relaxed vibe and truly knows how to enjoy life."

Reading these comments hit me hard.

It made me realize:
It wasn’t really Taiyi’s behavior that bothered me — it was my own deep resistance to being that carefree.

The way we judge others often reflects the hidden parts of ourselves.
When we strongly reject certain traits, it's often because we're denying something within.

As we grow, it's important to re-examine the qualities we instinctively label as "bad."

---

Growing up, I was always a "good kid," closely following the values taught by teachers and parents:

Be honest. Be humble.
And, above all, be serious when facing any task.

So when I saw Taiyi joking around at critical moments, I instinctively felt frustrated.

It didn’t help that he wasn't as hardworking as Shen Gongbao, yet still received promotions and special artifacts from his master. It seemed so unfair.

But that frustration didn’t last long.

Later, I saw different perspectives from other viewers:

"Taiyi doesn’t look down on Shen Gongbao, even though he’s from the demon tribe. He treats his disciples with genuine warmth."

"Having a friend like Taiyi would be amazing — someone who helps you enjoy life and forget about your worries."

I realized that from another angle, Taiyi's carefree attitude wasn't laziness — it was freedom.
He’s a master of living joyfully, not just accomplishing tasks.

---

This made me think of another character: Zhu Bajie from Journey to the West.

As a child, I disliked him too — always lazy, complaining, causing trouble, threatening to quit.

Until one day, a classmate said:

"I love Zhu Bajie! Without him, the journey would have been unbearably dull."

It clicked.
Yes, the journey might have been smoother without him — but it would have also been lifeless and bleak.

Sometimes, a trait we dislike at first glance can, from another angle, reveal itself as a hidden strength.

And in that moment, my resentment toward Taiyi dissolved almost completely.

I also realized something even more important:

On the surface, I looked down on "carefree" people.
But deep down, it was a quality I desperately lacked.

---

Each of us has traits we dislike — laziness, selfishness, stubbornness, hypocrisy, and so on.

We often force ourselves to avoid these traits at all costs.
But doing so rigidly can create hidden traps in our lives.

For example, I used to prioritize being "serious" above everything else.
As a result, I often felt tense.
When things didn’t go perfectly, I fell into anxiety and self-doubt.

I spent years trying to figure out how to become less anxious —
but the real answer was simple:

Learn to relax.
Stop taking every task so seriously.

Carefree people know how to prioritize comfort and joy, and in doing so, they care for themselves far better.

The more rigidly we reject a trait, the more likely we are to get stuck when life demands flexibility.

• If you despise selfishness, you might struggle to stand up for your own needs.
• If you hate hypocrisy, you might hurt people by being blunt when tact would have been better.
• If you can’t stand stubbornness, you might lose your own convictions, easily swayed by others.

---

Of course, all this is easy to understand intellectually — but emotionally, it’s much harder.

When we face traits we dislike, we often react automatically:

"This is bad! Stay far away!"

Usually, our hatred of a trait comes from one of two sources:

1. Education — We were taught that the trait is bad.
2. Experience — We suffered because of someone who embodied it excessively.

These lessons are valid.

But ultimately, we need to reevaluate these judgments through our own lived experiences.

From a psychological perspective, no trait is inherently good or bad.
It's not about morality — it's about context and degree.

Even traits we find unpleasant can become strengths when adjusted appropriately.

---

I once experienced this firsthand during a psychology workshop.

The instructor gave us a simple exercise:

Plan a weekend outing in groups — first acting according to your favorite traits, then acting according to your least favorite traits.

In the first round, we all tried to be polite and accommodating.

The result?

Total indecision.
Everyone deferred to everyone else.
No one dared to make a choice.

If just one strong-willed or selfish person had spoken up, we could have decided in minutes.

In the second round, where we acted out our "worst" traits — being stubborn, critical, distracted —
the room was chaotic but lively.

And to everyone’s surprise — we laughed more.
There was a strange, joyful sense of freedom in dropping the mask of politeness.

---

We also discovered unexpected strengths in these disliked traits:

• Being critical brought a refreshing honesty and freedom from internal conflict.
• Being strong-willed made us feel powerful and decisive.
• Being distracted let us step back from conflict and find peace.

When we experience the "other side" of a disliked trait,
we realize it’s not inherently good or bad.

It’s all about how and when it’s used.

---

At this point, you might ask:

"Are you saying we should become the people we dislike?"

Not at all.

Forcing yourself to become what you despise is unnatural — even damaging.

Instead, what we need is observation and mastery.

Traits aren’t absolute.
Life isn’t about clinging to any one role.

It’s about flexibility —
adjusting to different circumstances, mastering different sides of yourself.

In psychology, this is called becoming a complete person:

• Able to be serious, but also able to laugh.
• Able to care for others, but also to protect yourself.

When we meet people we dislike, instead of only criticizing them, we can ask:

"Is there a quality here that I might need more of?"

Meeting different people, reflecting, and clashing with others —
these are precious opportunities for self-awareness and growth.

In the end, traits aren’t the most important thing.

You —
a living, growing, endlessly evolving person —
are what matters most.

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Thriving Through Minimalism: 8 Essential Habits

"People often say that encountering a benefactor can save you from wandering for years in life's twists and turns. In reality, rather than waiting for a benefactor to appear, it's better to become one yourself. Our habits hide our luck and destiny. By adhering to the following 8 minimalist habits, nurturing yourself, you will quietly transform into a formidable person."

1. Simplify Your Sleep Schedule

"People who can't even control their bedtime, how can they control their lives? Early to bed, early to rise; don't let your emotions collapse at night, and you've already won half the battle. Only by resting well at night can you invest more energy into learning, working, and living during the day. Sleeping at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM, consistently for years, if you don't succeed, who will?"

2. Simplify Your Diet

"Everyone loves junk food and fried foods. But remember, you become what you eat. Replace takeout with home-cooked meals, switch bubble tea with fruits, and indulge yourself one day a week while maintaining a healthy diet the rest of the time. You'll radiate with vitality, even saving money on skincare products."

3. Simplify Your Information Intake

"Quality information intake is vital for a healthy brain. Constantly scrolling short videos, indulging in gossip, and consuming low-quality information limits your thinking and perspective, making you susceptible to others' viewpoints. Delete unnecessary apps, mute irrelevant group chats, and turn off app notifications. Spend more time reading books, watching documentaries or movies, and joining high-quality communities to absorb first-hand, quality information. Your mindset will naturally change, and your actions will follow suit, making excellence inevitable."

4. Simplify Your Hobbies

"Everyone experiences fleeting interests, which is fine as long as it's shallow and brief. However, cultivate one or two hobbies deeply to have a mental sanctuary. Immersing yourself in these hobbies can recharge you when life throws challenges your way. Whether it's running, swimming, reading, or walking, hobbies act as mechanisms to enter a state of flow, allowing you to reset and sail again."

5. Simplify Your Social Interactions

"Suggest both introverts and extroverts refuse ineffective social interactions. If a social gathering doesn't provide emotional or beneficial value, politely decline. Reduce contact with people who look down on you, have ulterior motives, especially unfamiliar, annoying relatives, or past relationships. As the saying goes, 'the ability to block' is a person's top skill. Anyone or anything that drains you is not worth your time."

6. Simplify Your Possessions

 

'Any conscious materialist knows that when you possess an object, the object possesses you.' We don't need as much as we think. If your room is filled with rarely used items, there's no space for what you truly need. I regretted not getting rid of a bulky coffee table in the living room sooner. The space suddenly became spacious, allowing me to lay down a carpet, relax, read, binge-watch, and play with family. By letting go of that item, I gained more happiness."

7. Simplify Your Spending

"Spending money brings short-term happiness, while saving money brings long-term joy. When you see something you like, refrain from buying it immediately. Add it to your cart, wait a few days; if you still want it after a while, then go ahead and buy it! Trust me, through a three-tier filtering process, the items you end up purchasing will truly be ones you need and won't regret. By avoiding consumer traps, as your savings grow, you'll have the confidence to try more valuable and meaningful things."

8. Simplify Your Mindset

 When facing complex relationships, encountering bizarre people and situations, be vigilant against emotional drain and avoid being consumed. Stay relaxed, don't rush, and don't be greedy. We can't have everything, but don't worry; we won't have nothing either. As the saying goes, 'You can have a bad experience, but don't indulge in a bad life. Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards; it's always us who play the hand.' Good luck and benefactors won't magically appear. Regardless of the hand we're dealt, as long as we don't give up, we can play a winning hand. We need to polish ourselves day by day, cultivate good habits, and let these habits guide us through life's blind spots. Let's hold onto the vitality that life bestows upon us and live a flourishing life."

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Depression Detox: Combat with These 3 Actions

I don't know when it started, but feeling exhausted has become the norm in people's lives. After a busy day, they don't feel like doing anything and just want to lie quietly;

When they go out to eat with their loved ones, they sit there silently, each staring at their phones; When they finally have some free time, their minds are still racing, afraid of missing out on something.

"Everyone is caught in a huge machine, striving to turn time into money, forced to live faster and more efficiently, even surpassing physical limits." Over time, the body naturally starts to malfunction, falling into depression without even realizing it.

Frequently doing these three small things might help you stay away from depression:

1. Regularly disconnecting from the internet and spending time with yourself.

Have you ever had the experience of intending to rest well at night, but as soon as you open your phone, you can't stop?

D shared her story of disconnecting from the internet.

For a period of time, she was constantly attracted by her phone, unconsciously browsing through various information, swiping her fingers across the screen. But these pieces of information were of no help to her work; instead, they distracted her attention and caused her to stumble in her creative process.

Realizing the pain, she decided to reduce her dependence on her phone. So, she set a rule for herself to put down her phone at a fixed time every day, while also logging out of common social media apps.

This ensured that she could focus on her work without external distractions.

Sometimes, she would habitually pick up her phone. But as soon as she saw the login page and realized she had to re-enter her password or verification code, alarm bells would go off in her mind, and she would give up.

This method may seem a bit troublesome, but it is very effective.

Of course, we don't have to disconnect from the internet every day. We can also follow what writer Scott Young wrote: "Give yourself 90 minutes of independent thinking time every seven days, without music, without playing with your phone, just you alone."

When you first try this, you are likely to feel anxious and uneasy, even unable to resist reopening your phone. But once you get used to spending time with yourself, you will feel true peace and relaxation.

Many people mistakenly believe that scrolling through their phones is relaxing, but true relaxation is when the brain stops receiving information.

Information overload can stimulate us, making it difficult for us to sleep or eat well, leading to deeper fatigue and emptiness, which can give rise to feelings of depression. Moreover, most of the information online has nothing to do with our lives; it just adds to our troubles.

Why not return to real-life scenarios through disconnection from the internet, to contemplate, meditate, and feel our own breath?

When you learn to shift your focus back to yourself, to notice the small joys around you, your mental core will become more stable, and your life will improve.

2. Refusing to overwork and not self-exploiting

In the book "Life's Troubles Consultation Room," it is written: "The more serious a person is, the easier it is for them to become depressed."

Being serious is worthy of praising, but too much of anything is not good.

For individuals, learning to take breaks actively is even more important than being immersed in work.

Life is like a rubber band, always stretched tight, and it may break at any moment.

Occasionally slowing down, recharging yourself, and then moving forward can actually be more efficient.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and don't always confront life. In your leisure time, why not listen to music, tend to plants, make yourself a cup of tea, and sit on the balcony soaking up the sun?

These seemingly insignificant things can help us break away from the fatigue of the moment, feel the pleasant side of life, and become less susceptible to depression.

3. Relaxing your mind and practicing a change of mindset.

I was deeply moved by the author Byron Katie's experience.

In her thirties, she suffered from severe depression for ten years, always in a state of mental low. At its worst, she stayed at home and only contacted the outside world by phone. Even when her children passed by her room, they had to tiptoe to avoid being unjustly scolded by her.

But one morning, a revolutionary idea came to her mind: "When I don't believe my thoughts, I am not in pain." She realized that what was making her depressed was not the people or things around her, but her perception of the world.

From then on, whenever she felt sad and conflicted, she would do a "change of mindset" exercise, asking herself: Is that true? Can you be 100% sure that it's true? How do you react when you hold that thought? How would you act if you didn't have that thought?

With each question and answer, many problems were resolved, and life became brighter.Many people have benefited greatly from trying this method.

Every minute, our minds are filled with countless thoughts.

Positive thoughts can calm us down and make us feel abundant and joyful;

Negative thoughts, on the other hand, can bring endless torment, making us feel gloomy and despondent.

One thought can lead to heaven, another to hell. The so-called change of mindset is to replace old thoughts with new ones.

"People can change their lives by changing their mindset, which is the greatest discovery of our generation."

Instead of indulging in the past and being led by negative thoughts, why not carefully examine the reasons behind our unhappiness through questioning?

Finding out where the problem lies is a good start.

Never think that a thought is insignificant; they take root in our minds and subtly influence every action we take.

In today's fast-paced world, almost everyone's life has become tense and busy.

We rush to one goal after another, feeling like life is an endless race.

But if happiness is squeezed out to the point of scarcity, life itself loses its meaning.

There are always times when things don't go well or when we feel tired. In those times, I see it as a vacation given to us by the gods; there's no need to force ourselves to sprint, no need to be nervous, no need to try hard; everything should just go with the flow.

Whether it's regularly putting down our phones, balancing work and leisure, or making a change of mindset a part of our lives, they are all moments of respite for ourselves, not being depleted by stress.

Doing these small things often may not directly bring fame and fortune, but they can help us detach from the weariness of the moment, feel the comfortable side of life, and become less prone to depression.

I hope we can live the life we want and have a vibrant life.

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