Ghosted: The Ultimate Adult Rejection

In this fast-paced world, communication between people has become increasingly important. However, rejection is an inevitable part of everyone's life. For adults, the most ruthless rejection may not be a straightforward "no," but rather the silent "ghosting."

In social situations, we often encounter scenarios where we receive a message but choose not to respond after reading it. Behind this "not responding" behavior, there are many complex psychological activities and social factors at play. Today, let's delve into this topic, analyze the reasons behind "not responding," and discuss how to deal with such situations.

In the adult world, rejection often requires strategy and tact. Directly saying "no" may hurt the other person's feelings, leading to embarrassment or even conflict. In contrast, "not responding" seems to be a more subtle and implicit way. Through this approach, the rejecter can avoid direct conflict while also conveying an unspoken signal — rejection.

Busyness and Distraction:

Modern life is fast-paced, and people often face various trivial matters and distractions. Sometimes, we receive a message but, due to being busy with other tasks or having our attention divided, we fail to respond promptly. As time passes, the urge to reply or the sense of responsibility gradually diminishes, leading to the choice of not responding.

Uncertainty of How to Respond:

In some situations, people may receive questions or requests that are difficult to answer, leaving them unsure of how to respond. To avoid the embarrassment or misunderstanding that may arise from giving an improper response, they choose not to reply to maintain silence.

Avoiding Conflict or Harming Others' Feelings:

Sometimes, the words of rejection may hurt others and lead to unnecessary conflicts. To avoid such situations, some people choose not to respond as an indirect way to express their stance and attitude.

Understanding Individual Differences:

Everyone has their own habits and ways of doing things. Some people may indeed choose not to respond due to personality traits or habits, not out of intention.

In such cases, understanding individual differences and respecting the other person's way of doing things is crucial.

Clear Communication Goals:

Before sending a message, it's essential to clarify one's communication goals and expectations. If you expect a response from the other party, clearly state your request in the message to avoid ambiguity.

Maintaining Reasonable Expectations:

Not everyone will respond to your messages promptly, which does not necessarily mean they disrespect you or are indifferent. Sometimes, people may need time to think or deal with things. Therefore, maintaining reasonable expectations can help reduce unnecessary distress.

Honest Communication:

If you feel dissatisfied or confused about someone's lack of response, instead of speculating in your mind, it's better to choose an appropriate time to have an honest conversation with them. Through open and honest dialogue, we can better understand each other's needs and expectations, promoting the harmonious development of relationships.

Self-reflection and Learning:

Put yourself in others' shoes and reflect on your own handling of others' messages. Have there been situations where you forgot to reply due to busyness or other reasons? Learn from these experiences and remind yourself to respond to others' messages promptly, cultivating good communication habits.

In conclusion, "ghosting" as a rejection method is quite prevalent among adults. Understanding the reasons behind it and ways to deal with it can help us better navigate the subtle interactions in interpersonal relationships. Through understanding, honest communication, self-reflection, and learning, we can maturely handle such situations and inject more harmony and trust into our relationships with others.

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"What color do you like reveals who you are!

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"What color do you like reveals who you are!

Wearing a newly purchased down jacket, I walked into the office.

My colleague exclaimed, "You are really a yellow professional! Another yellow outfit."

As she said this, my mind quickly flashed through the many clothes in my closet, and indeed, most of them were yellow: turmeric, orange-yellow, deep yellow, cream yellow, mustard yellow...

Are you also like me, infatuated with a certain color? Unconsciously, this color has filled your entire life: clothes, home decor, accessories...

In fact, psychology has long shown that the color you like reveals your personality and temperament.

Isn't it amazing? Come and find your favorite color!

Red: Passionate and bold

People who like red, like the color itself, are bold and passionate.

As an outgoing person, you seem to have an inexhaustible enthusiasm and easily get along with people around you.

In your world, there are no friends you can't make, only friends you haven't met yet.

Because of your openness, positivity, and ability to showcase your personality traits, you will be a particularly "shining" presence in a crowd.

This also means that you will have a kind of leadership aura and become a central figure in a group.

Interacting with people who have a red personality, you won't feel dull; you will be infected by their personal charm and become passionate and bold involuntarily.

Yellow: Light-hearted and cheerful

People who like yellow have a personality that is somewhere between flamboyant and low-key, relatively gentle, and not so sharp.

Most of the time, you tend to treat people and things around you with a relatively mild attitude, rarely engaging in direct conflicts, giving people a sunny and positive feeling.

You don't particularly like to stand out, nor do you want to be completely ignored.

You may yearn for some understanding and attention from the outside world, but not too much.

Of course, you will also devote time and energy to your own goals, quietly moving towards them step by step.

When interacting with people who have a yellow personality, you may not feel too much surprise or excitement, but you will definitely feel a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere like a peaceful and sunny day.

Green: Open and peaceful

Green, known as the "color of life."

It symbolizes harmony, vitality, and hope, a color that makes people feel comfortable and relaxed.

If you like green, you are like the color itself: open and peaceful, calm and low-key, without too many ambitions.

But deep down, you have a guiding light that leads you forward, always following your own rhythm, steadily approaching the lighthouse in your heart step by step.

You, who don't fight or compete, won't miss out on anything because of your "moderate path." Instead, your resilient character ensures that you get what you deserve.

When dealing with people who have a green personality, you don't need to worry about their intentions; their inherent kindness is enough to make you feel completely at ease.

Black: Low-key and reserved

"Black is the most stable color, containing all colors within it."

People who like black have a relatively stable and reserved personality, not showing their edges and corners, giving people a somewhat difficult-to-approach feeling.

However, this is just an illusion.

People with a black personality may seem a bit aloof on the surface. But in their character, there is actually a solid sense of down-to-earthness that makes people feel grounded.

This is closely related to their stable mental state. People who like black usually have a firm sense of self, their own ideas, and external influences rarely have a significant impact on them.

This is why when interacting with people with a black personality, you feel a sense of security.

White: Elegant and pure

The elegant and pure white gives people a sense of coldness and inaccessibility.

But unlike the "aloofness" of black, which gives a sense of heaviness and stability, white gives a sense of lightness and silence.

If you like white, you are probably a perfectionist, instinctively rejecting anything too complicated.

You advocate for a minimalist lifestyle, preferring pure people and things, unwilling to invest too much energy in complex interpersonal relationships, and firmly refusing to trouble others with tasks you can handle yourself.

People with a white personality are often in a "observer" role, quietly observing the world. While appearing calm on the surface, the inner turmoil is known only to themselves.

The extreme pursuit of the spiritual world makes people with a white personality seem a bit aloof. In fact, they are just interacting with the world in a way that suits them comfortably.

Grey: Cautious and steady

Grey is a color between black and white.

It combines the heaviness of black with the lightness of white, and is relatively restrained and dynamic, also being the most balanced color.

People who like grey have a stable core, handle things cautiously, and don't give off a strong impression to others.

Because they often balance various forces, they can easily give people a sense of mystery that is hard to understand or grasp.

This is not a flaw; instead, in life and work, you can better control the overall situation and become the highlight of the scene.

While people with a grey personality may not stand out in a crowd, after getting to know them deeply, others may be attracted by their understated warmth and their ability to consider the bigger picture.

Pink: Gentle and delicate

Compared to the maturity and steadiness of black, white, and grey, the pink personality feels a bit brighter and happier.

People who like pink usually have a girlish heart, with innocence, romance, and gentleness as their personality traits.

In your eyes, there is not much darkness in the world; you are more willing to believe in the inherent goodness of human nature, which, of course, may lead to being hurt.

But even in the face of injustice and hardship, you are always willing to see the beauty in everything, slowly healing yourself in a way that suits you.

With a bit of sensitivity and delicacy, mixed with gentleness and resilience, you, who like pink, find the most powerful way to confront this broken world.

Orange: Full of vitality

Compared to other colors, orange has a very strong visual impact.

And this impact comes with great inclusiveness.

It's not as bright and direct as red, but it's brighter and more intense than yellow. It's soft yet full of vitality, making people feel amazed and comfortable.

This also means that people who like orange, like the color itself, are bright and enthusiastic, full of vitality, and always able to attract like-minded people effortlessly.

With this natural attraction, people with an orange personality rarely have interpersonal troubles and have especially good relationships.

In short, the orange personality is a sacred presence, shining and gentle in the crowd, unique yet inclusive.

Purple: Mysterious and romantic

When it comes to purple, most people will probably associate it with one word: romance.

People who like purple have romance ingrained in their genes, so in art, you also have a sensitivity that is different from ordinary people.

Looking at the crowd, people with a purple personality won't stand out too much; they may even immerse themselves quietly in their own world. But even so, it's hard to ignore the strong artistic atmosphere emanating from them.

This is also the mystery of the purple personality. You attach great importance to spiritual satisfaction and have an ultimate pursuit of deep resonance within the soul.

To many, some of your behaviors may be confusing. But you know in your heart that only people with similar souls understand your "unearthly" qualities.

This is the purple personality, romantic, mysterious, individualistic, independent, sensitive, and somewhat distant. But it is these qualities that constitute the romantic and mysterious tone: purple.

Blue: Rational and tranquil

Blue represents the color of the sea.

It also symbolizes tranquility, rationality, openness, and profundity...

People who like blue are relatively stable, giving people a sense of detachment from fame and fortune, and a calm feeling of being aloof from the world.

Compared to the excitement of red and the openness of green, blue is slightly cold.

This is also why people with a blue personality may leave a melancholic and distant impression on others. It is this sense of detachment that allows you to focus on yourself without being overly disturbed by the outside world.

Some people may distance themselves from you because of this, but for people with a blue personality, rationality ultimately outweighs emotionality, choosing to respect others in order to maintain outward peace.

People with a blue personality may seem outwardly rational and cold, but in fact, they are very sensitive, and sensitive people are mostly kind-hearted.

Each color personality has a corresponding core motive.

Every color we like is a projection of our psychological motives.

Different personalities have different psychological motives, which directly or indirectly affect our attitudes towards life and life choices.

Colors are neither good nor bad, and personalities are neither superior nor inferior. May we all live out our unique charm in our own lives."

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Adulting Aces: 10 Unspoken Social Rules

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Golden Years Prep: Three Essentials for Happiness

Recently, I came across a popular video on a certain platform. An 88-year-old ex teacher was interviewed on the roadside: "What are your thoughts on old age?" The elderly person firmly responded, "No surgery, no intubation, no resuscitation. Especially, no admission to the intensive care unit." When asked for the reason, the elderly person said, "At my age, death is inevitable. Resuscitation would not only make me suffer but also waste national resources. These resources are better used to save young people." While the elderly person's open-mindedness is admirable, can their children agree?

"I always tell them, instead of forcibly holding onto your parents' physical bodies, think about the influence your parents had on you. Keeping these good memories is enough." This insightful dialogue garnered millions of likes from netizens.

 "A good death is better than a life of painful lingering" is a deeply rooted concept among countless people. "Longevity" has always been assumed to be the best blessing for the elderly. However, is a long life equivalent to a happy life?

More and more elderly people are beginning to offer "unconventional" answers. I once read a story about a senior who suffered a sudden stroke and was rushed to the hospital. After doctors made every effort to save his life, they managed to bring him back from the brink. However, for the rest of his life, he needed round-the-clock care from medical staff to continue living. In other words, he became a "living dead" person.

Yet, his daughter insisted on not giving up her father's life. As a result, the elderly man spent four years in the ICU before multiple organ failure led to his demise. While the daughter's filial piety is commendable, doctors have a different view: "Although we extended his life, we did not improve his quality of life." "Family members can visit for only one hour a day. What his daughter sees is that he seems happy during that one hour. So, she thinks he's happy every day. But what we see is the patient suffering for the remaining 23 hours."

The daughter of the elderly man was once asked, "Have you ever thought that perhaps your father would prefer to pass away more peacefully?" She replied, "I dare not think about it, nor do I want to. At least for now, I can afford to give him the best treatment, which makes me feel better." Of course, as children, it's very difficult for us to actively give up our parents' lives! As long as we can still save them, we want to keep our parents with us for another day.

But if we look at it from a different perspective, if the elderly person can express their wishes, would they praise their children's filial piety, or would they criticize their children for making them suffer? The elderly person may not bear to make such a choice, but I believe everyone has their own answer in their hearts. Regardless of whether we are willing to admit it, longevity is premised on "health." Otherwise, it's "living in suffering."

In this regard, elderly people often see more clearly than young people. "Many elderly people have been eating medication for a long time, ruining their bodies." Therefore, more and more elderly people are adopting the retirement philosophy of "treating minor illnesses, accepting major illnesses, and not pursuing excessive medical treatment." "The sooner you go, the better. Don't burden your children and end up with nothing."

"Living longer" is becoming easier, but "living well" is becoming more difficult.

Despite advances in medical conditions and improvements in living standards, why are so many elderly people less inclined to "live" now? It's because while society has progressed, elderly care has become more challenging. Foremost among them is the fact that "raising children is no longer a guarantee against old age."

It's not that children don't want to be filial, but they are truly powerless. I once saw a video online. A senior was bedridden for 16 years, and it was his daughter in her fifties who took care of him. Every day, she had to lift him in and out of bed, clean up his waste, bathe him, feed him, give him medicine, and take him for walks... Every day, for 16 years.

This is indeed a perfect example of "raising children to prevent old age."

But what about the other side of the story?

The senior had a pension that could cover most of his living expenses; the daughter retired early, giving up her personal life entirely to care for her father; the son-in-law took on most of the work of earning money and raising children; the daughter's family had no financial pressure from mortgages or car loans; there were other relatives in the family who could occasionally share the responsibility of caregiving.

Behind this "perfect" filial piety are the aggregation of numerous conditions and countless sacrifices. It's difficult to replicate in every family. We always remember "raising children to prevent old age" as a tradition, but forget that "it was a product of a specific era." In the past, medical conditions were poor, and parents generally did not live long.

There were fewer elderly people suffering from dementia or hemiplegia, and caring for them was not as difficult as it is now. Plus, at that time, every family's finances were similar, there were more children, and many women didn't work. "There was not much financial pressure"  making it less difficult to support elderly parents.

But what about now?

For couples with children, life becomes unsustainable if one doesn't go out to earn money. Although the elderly are living longer, they are also plagued by various illnesses, requiring long-term care. Parents, children, work, mortgages, car loans—all these are mountains pressing down on middle-aged people.

This forces children to make sacrifices. Although everyone makes different choices, under the harsh reality, there are always parents who "can't rely on" their children. So, if not relying on children, what about relying on society? Currently, our society's elderly care mainly consists of "home-based care" or "nursing homes."

Elderly people who can take care of themselves mostly choose to stay at home, which is free and saves money. As for the elderly people who are sent to nursing homes, they generally have various illnesses, and they lose some of their ability to care for themselves.

"Not making mistakes" is the caregivers' top priority. "Making the elderly happy" can only be an added bonus. Therefore, the "hardship" in nursing homes does not come from the news about elderly abuse but rather because: under limited manpower conditions, only basic care and some emotional support can be provided to the elderly.

Ensuring that the elderly "stay alive" rather than "live well." As you can see, although medical advances unilaterally extend the lives of the elderly, how they can live well remains a "dilemma." After retirement, some elderly people learn swimming, painting, calligraphy, or singing. Even if their children are not around, their lives are fulfilling and happy.

Happy people are always similar. Many elderly people who have a good late life understand one thing: "Elderly care depends on oneself." Life can never be perfect at any age.

We can always find a lifestyle that suits us better among them. Prepare three savings:

I once saw a sentence online that inspired me: "Elderly care is actually choosing a way to grow old gracefully. There is no limit to the method, and there is no standard answer.

But the most important thing is: always remember to put yourself first."

To spend your old age more comfortably, I suggest everyone include "retirement planning" in their life plan. Starting from now, prepare the following "three savings":

1.Financial savings

The reason why money is important is that it gives the elderly "choices": they can buy what they want to eat, go wherever they want; if their children are not filial, they can hire caregivers to live alone without worrying about their children's faces; and in case of illness, having money in their pockets will ease their minds. When it comes to elderly care, money is definitely more reliable than children.

Many elderly people have been frugal all their lives, just to subsidize their children.

But really don't do this.

You can occasionally help your children in emergencies, but never make it an entitlement. Leave the money to yourself, and let your children take responsibility for their own lives. Taking care of ourselves with money is the greatest help we can give our children.

2.Psychological value savings

Many elderly people have a smooth material life in their old age, but they always feel bitter inside because they base their happiness on "their children's companionship." Why not change your perspective? Treat your old age as your "second life."

Make your own "bucket list," try things you like, and learn to make yourself happy. We've worked hard all our lives, and it's only in our old age that we finally have the "money and leisure." We must make the most of it.

3.Health savings

Undoubtedly, "health" is the most important condition for elderly care. But it's placed last because it's also the most uncontrollable and powerless part for the elderly. No one can stop the aging and deterioration of the body.

So, while your body is still healthy, eat clean food, exercise regularly, and take care of your physical and mental health. Once illness strikes, learn to accept the decline of life naturally. "Treat minor illnesses, accept major illnesses, and avoid excessive medical treatment," allowing life to end gracefully and gently.

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Hard to Handle, Hard to Ignore: The Respect Dilemma

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Hard to Handle, Hard to Ignore: The Respect Dilemma

Have you ever had such an experience: wanting to be kind to others, speaking softly, but always being bossed around and not treated equally in return? Wanting to avoid conflict, diligently doing your own job, but constantly being suppressed and excluded? In life, not all kindness is met with kindness in return. Sometimes, the more you sacrifice yourself to accommodate others, the more you're seen as an easy target, and you're gradually pushed into a corner.

If you've experienced such situations, then I suggest you start today by being a kind but "difficult to deal with" woman. Living with edges and corners, there are times when you must stand firm.

By doing so, you're more likely to gain respect and move towards happiness.

Stick to your bottom line

There was a neighbor before, whose mother-in-law had a fierce and domineering personality. From the renovation of her son and daughter-in-law's marital home to the couple's financial situation, she had to intervene in everything.

At first, she made her son hand over his salary after getting married, claiming that young people spend money recklessly, so she would manage it for him. Then she demanded that her daughter-in-law cut ties with her own family after receiving the betrothal gifts, insisting that everything should be controlled by her family. For other people, even if they felt that the mother-in-law's demands were unreasonable, they could only passively tolerate and retreat, afraid to cause too much conflict openly.

But this daughter-in-law refused to give in. She argued based on reason, stating that she could contribute to household expenses every month, but with the pressure of mortgage and car payments, she couldn't give up her salary. As for cutting ties with her own parents, it involved her principles and bottom line, which she couldn't agree to under any circumstances.

 If the mother-in-law continued to insist, she would publicize these matters and let everyone judge. Seeing the daughter-in-law's strong attitude, the mother-in-law had no choice but to retract her demands. Later, the same situation occurred several times, and the mother-in-law no longer dared to exclude her daughter-in-law, but treated her with the respect she deserved.

In a woman's life, she inevitably faces different roles and challenges. But whether it's establishing herself in her in-laws' home or managing her marriage and life, those women who truly thrive have their own principles and bottom line, remaining neither humble nor pushy. Besides sticking to her beliefs, it's more important to convey her attitude to everyone, telling them: "I'm not easy to bully, and crossing my bottom line will come with consequences." Women like this naturally exude confidence and toughness from within, making them unassailable whether facing their in-laws or anyone else.

Dare to reject anyone who doesn't seek to please

If you carefully observe people in the workplace, you'll find that those who work tirelessly for the lowest salary in the company are always the most agreeable ones. For example, in a previous company, there were two interns with similar educational backgrounds, both diligent and responsible.

The difference was that one, let’s call her A, was timid. Every time she was asked to do something by her colleagues, she hesitated to refuse, fearing that it would affect her relationships with them. As a result, she ended up with more and more tasks, becoming busier and more chaotic, and some colleagues even resented her for helping others but not them.

In contrast, the other intern, let's call her B, remained calm and composed. Similarly asked by colleagues to take on extra tasks, she helped where she could, but firmly refused when it exceeded her capabilities, investing more time and energy into her own work.

So what do you think happened? Initially, some colleagues also had some resentment towards B, feeling that she was too arrogant. But because B had fewer miscellaneous tasks, higher efficiency, and achieved more outstanding results, the leadership appreciated her more. Seeing this, everyone began to approach her, and she became even more popular in the company.

There's an unspoken rule in human interaction: people bully the weak and fear the strong. No one will actively seek confrontation; it's easier to manipulate those who are compliant. So don't let yourself be the compliant one anymore. At any time, in any situation, respect your own needs first. 

Clearly refuse to do things you don't want to do or can't do. Don't be afraid of offending people, and don't care too much about others' opinions; being disliked is a normal part of life. But first and foremost, respect yourself, and you may earn the respect of others.

Have your own opinions

Some time ago, I received a message from a college roommate I hadn't seen in a long time: "I've been having a tough time these past few years." Upon inquiry, I learned that she was being ignored by her company, with leaders and colleagues disregarding her feelings.

During Public holiday, she was scheduled to work overtime, and she was also assigned difficult clients to handle regularly. I asked her, "Have you ever expressed your thoughts to the company?" She replied that when the leaders arranged overtime work for the National Day and asked everyone for their preferences, she was afraid of upsetting the leaders by directly refusing, so she chose to give an ambiguous reply: "I'm fine with anything, whatever you decide."

After hearing her response, I immediately understood where the problem lay. In my memory, she had always been a person without her own opinions since college. When classmates gathered for meals and asked what dishes she wanted, she would say anything was fine; when tasks were assigned for class activities, and opinions were solicited, she would say anything was okay, indifferent. Over time, people gradually stopped asking for her opinions, and she became increasingly ignored, silent and obedient, following others' lead.

To be honest, each of us is more or less like her, clearly involved in matters concerning ourselves but afraid to make decisions. Afraid of making the wrong choice, afraid of making mistakes, always hoping that others will make decisions for us. 

As a result, over time, we gradually lose our own values, lose our personality, and become easily influenced by others' opinions. Those women who are difficult to deal with are the opposite. They never blindly follow others but clearly know what they want. No external disturbances can shake their inner decisions.

However, having opinions doesn't mean being aggressive or confrontational. Instead, it means having your own thoughts and judgment, respecting others' opinions but not easily being swayed by external influences. If you can do this, others won't dare to underestimate you easily. In human interactions, honesty and kindness are not enough; being too honest and too kind may even provoke the evil in human nature.

Instead, it's those who are difficult to deal with that others dare not easily offend, inadvertently avoiding many troubles for themselves. So, ladies, from now on, please deliberately cultivate the quality of being "difficult to deal with." In your interactions with others, you can be a little tough, have a bit of a temper, and appropriately show your sharpness.

Learn to defend your boundaries and maintain your viewpoints, so that you can protect yourself when necessary and live a relaxed and comfortable life.

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Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

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Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts

You've probably heard the saying that all efforts in life result in either being laughed at or being effective. The ultimate outcome depends on how you manage things. Over the past few years, there have been increasing stories about interpersonal relationships. Some relationships, when managed well, become lifelong friendships; others, when mishandled, become the subject of ridicule.

When it comes to interacting with others, what principles should we adhere to? What boundaries should we maintain? Here are a few key points that we mustn't overlook:

1. Ignore Unnotified Events:

Be smart about it. Regardless of what's happening in someone else's family, if they haven't informed you, just pretend you don't know. And afterward, don't inquire about it either. Why?

A friend once shared a story. When he was young, he used to mingle in circles whether or not he was invited. He'd eagerly join friends for dinners or family gatherings, whether formally invited or not. One time, he happened to run into some friends who were quietly planning a barbecue. They didn't intend to make a big deal out of it, but he tagged along anyway. "I still remember the looks on their faces when they saw me. The table fell silent. They looked at me in surprise, and I innocently looked back at them." 

That meal was excruciatingly uncomfortable for him. He sensed that the people around him had something they wanted to say. But upon seeing him, they chose polite smiles instead.

That experience made him realize: in interpersonal relationships, if someone doesn't inform you about an event, it means either you're not close enough or you shouldn't be attending that gathering. If you attend out of mere curiosity, you'll end up not only embarrassing yourself but also the host.

Of course, there's one exception to this social principle, as we often say: "Attend joyous events (weddings) only when invited; attend non-joyous events (funerals) even when not invited."

The most crucial aspect of interpersonal relationships is knowing when to attend which events, and when not to. That's the discretion expected of an adult. Remember, a smart person's strength lies in their intellect. Often, controlling the situation also means understanding the boundaries and limits of interpersonal relationships.

2. Refrain from Arguing:

Different perspectives don't always necessitate debate. Have you ever wondered what it's like to communicate with someone who lacks understanding? Someone answered that communicating with such a person is distinctively tiresome because they want to argue against every word you say.

Their mantra is, "No, that's not it!" You might think they'll bring new insights, but upon closer examination, you realize they're just paraphrasing what you've said or arguing for the sake of it, lacking substantial evidence. 

Some people have "refutational personalities." They share a common trait: no matter how logical your argument, they'll oppose it with a few counterarguments. "No, that's not it!" is their eternal opening line. The most effective way to deal with them is to swiftly end the conversation when they start arguing.

Remember: it's wise to speak less in different positions. With differing understandings, it's best to avoid arguments altogether. Effortlessly restraining the urge to argue ensures a sense of propriety in interpersonal relationships.

3. Moderate Enthusiasm for New Acquaintances:

Instantly revealing your inner thoughts to someone is far from ideal. Innocence is a virtue, but in today's world, it's often mistaken for a lack of decorum. We can express ourselves appropriately, but remember not to overdo it.

One friend had a very outgoing personality and was very warm towards everyone she met. People around her liked her and saw her as a ray of sunshine. However, such relationships didn't last long; it was rumored that she had fallen out with those around her.

The reason lay solely in her talkativeness. She never paid attention to the closeness of relationships while conversing. Whether with strangers or close friends, she would chatter endlessly whenever she met someone. Whether discussing her family's affairs or friends' private matters, she would talk non-stop. Little did she know, such behavior would make listeners feel pressured or insecure. Over time, those around her gradually realized that to avoid becoming the subject of gossip, the best thing to do was to keep their distance from her. Consequently, fewer and fewer people were willing to be her friends.

In social interactions, "oversharing" has always been a major taboo. Sometimes what you perceive as genuine might be viewed as low emotional intelligence by others. Remember, between individuals, there are many topics that can only be discussed with specific individuals. Don't reveal too much too soon just because you feel a connection. And never bare your soul just because you're feeling impulsive.

Smart individuals understand that with new acquaintances, it's fine to talk about the weather, movies, or celebrities. But refrain from discussing yourself or others' private matters.

The art of getting along isn't about instantly becoming bosom buddies. It's about understanding the limits of social interaction, gradually deepening connections, which ultimately fosters better relationships.

4. Avoid Making Decisions for Others:

Have you encountered people like this in your life? They're domineering and always love giving advice to others. It's fine if they're capable. But if their advice isn't genuinely helpful due to their lack of competence, it could hasten the breakdown of relationships.

I once watched a video. A girl went to her best friend's house to vent, complaining about how difficult her job was. She felt like her boss was deliberately making things hard for her, giving her all the dirty and tiring work, but come bonus time, she got nothing. "I don't want to do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I want to quit," she lamented.

Listening to the girl's endless grievances, her best friend joined in the complaining, saying that if things were that bad, she should quit and assured her, "Don't worry, resign. I have a friend whose company is currently short of people; I'll recommend you." The girl perked up at the suggestion, ignoring the specifics of the job her friend recommended, and resigned the next day.

However, the available position didn't match her work experience; the clerical job she was qualified for had already been filled, leaving only a receptionist vacancy. Pressured by next month's rent and credit card bills, she reluctantly accepted the job. Barely two weeks into the job, she went back to her friend to complain, tinged with accusation: "Look at the job you recommended. It's just making tea, handling deliveries every day!" "It's worse than my previous job!"

In a few words, her friend's heart sank, and their once amicable friendship was ruined. One golden rule of social relationships is this: never make decisions for others for free. While you might think, "What's wrong with helping a good friend?" in their eyes, from the moment you utter those words, you're fully responsible for that decision. If your decision doesn't improve their situation, you become the culprit.

Remember, we can never truly empathize with someone else's situation, nor can we feel their current emotions. Making decisions for others without their consent is an overstep. In the end, it's likely to do more harm than good. If it succeeds, the other person might not even remember you; if it fails, you're definitely at fault.

Why bother?

Human interactions inevitably have many passionate moments. But the more passionate the moment, the more critical it is to understand that no matter how much you want to connect with the other person at that moment, you must keep a cool head. This isn't just self-preservation; it's fundamental to how we navigate the world. Of course, after all this discussion, it doesn't mean I'm suggesting you should stop socializing altogether.

"Socializing" is merely a tool. When used effectively, everyone benefits, and you can achieve a lot with a little. So, don't worry about complex rules, and don't fear difficult situations. Although humans are insignificant, they can learn, improve themselves, and grow. The value of humanity lies within itself. Life is a journey, with each step revealing new scenery and insights.

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Unlocking Likability: The Strategy of Indifference

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Unlocking Likability: The Strategy of Indifference

Each of us comes into this world hoping for a happy and fulfilling life. But life is often not as we wish, leaving us filled with fantasies. Reality and dreams are usually opposite; otherwise, they wouldn't be dreams.

As social animals, we rely on connections with different groups of people to maintain a normal life. Communication between people inevitably brings some friction, which is the basis of interpersonal relationship problems. Just as people like money, perhaps no one can replace money as something everyone likes.

It's unnecessary to always maintain enthusiasm; showing occasional indifference can be better.

Humans are emotional beings, and everyone has their own moods. We often see people around us who sacrifice themselves to please others. Perhaps we are such people ourselves, sacrificing ourselves for others at the expense of our own well-being. Many people have encountered such situations. For example, after a busy day at work, when you're already exhausted, your siblings come to you to pour out their hearts. They come seeking solace because they're upset, feeling uncomfortable inside.

And what about you?

You've already had enough grievances during the day and wanted to take some time to relax, but now you have to listen to their grievances, making yourself even more impatient. You haven't even processed your own emotions yet, but you end up helping others digest theirs, which can leave you feeling exhausted.

At a gathering, some people have already had enough to drink and shouldn't drink more, but under the encouragement of some friends, they end up toasting again. Being already drunk, they continue drinking, causing greater harm to their bodies.

People should have moments of enthusiasm, but they should also have moments of indifference; this is the normal range of human emotions. Some might argue that they see certain individuals who seem emotionally stable. So-called emotional stability is just a facade; they manage their negative emotions through other means, which only they know, and most people can't see their negative emotions.

This is a simple form of emotional management, so maintaining occasional indifference, not trying to please everyone, is essential for a good life.

Learning to ignore everyone's expectations can reduce harm.

Nobody is perfect; imperfection is the essence of life.

When a person tries to meet everyone's expectations, they end up living in great pain. For example, if you try to meet the goals set by your parents, the tasks assigned by your teachers, and the expectations of your friends, it becomes overwhelming. When you have too much on your mind, pursuing perfection, you find yourself with no time for yourself, ultimately sinking into misery. When your self-worth depends on others' approval, every look, action, or word from them may be interpreted as, "Do they not like me?" "Am I being too childish?" "Their tone doesn't sound pleased; are they unhappy with me?" Even without doing anything, you feel "emotionally exhausted" because you've acted in countless internal dramas but still can't genuinely believe in yourself.

There's a psychological term called FOPO (the fear of other people's opinions): being trapped by others' evaluations. Often, for the sake of reputation, we try to leave a good impression on others, constantly forcing ourselves to stick to our current positions. To not disappoint others' expectations, we continually push ourselves to grow quickly, to live up to the image others admire, leaving ourselves battered and bruised.

When we learn to be indifferent, others will reduce their expectations of us, and we won't carry as much pressure. In this world, no matter what you do, there will be different opinions swirling around you. So why not be the most authentic version of yourself and find a bit more happiness?

Indulging in internal conflicts is being irresponsible to oneself.

Under the control of vanity, everyone likes to present their best side to others. We get used to considering others and end up enduring pain ourselves. Little do we know, truly social individuals understand that learning to be appropriately indifferent is the key to real liberation.

I have a friend who is a supervisor at a company; he's usually warm, but sometimes seems cold and unfeeling. One time during dinner, in a lively atmosphere with food and drink, he mentioned that this was his basic principle for dealing with people every day.

In his previous job as a supervisor, his warmth often led to most tasks being left unfinished, burdening himself as his subordinates did nothing. When he came to his current company, he realized his past mistakes and adopted new social skills. He doesn't let his warmth be limitless, nor does he become a cold-hearted machine. Therefore, occasional indifference is a more balanced approach to life and work.

In conclusion, everyone likes to be appreciated and liked by others, which requires us to master certain interpersonal skills. Indirect indifference can win more affection from others. This is similar to relationships; using the same dating routine and attitude for too long can lead to boredom. Only by constantly creating a sense of freshness can love be sustained for a longer time.

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Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths

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Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths

There's a saying: "Time never speaks, yet it answers all questions." 

Time can dilute everything, yet also prove everything. Time never fails those who strive hard; with every test in life, it gradually reveals the best answers to you.

When we suddenly look back, we often can't help but feel sentimental. It's as if just a moment ago, the fragrance of flowers filled the air, but in the blink of an eye, it's already a mound of fallen petals in the passage of time.

We often exclaim, "Time passes too quickly" or "Time passes so slowly," but when has time ever changed even a bit? It never hurries nor slows, neither mourns nor rejoices; it quietly slips away. The so-called "fast" and "slow" are merely due to our different circumstances and moods, leading to different perceptions of time.

"Life is a mixture of mud and sand, with flowers and thorns coexisting." Whose life sails smoothly? Whose life isn't beset by storms and mud? Time never stops, so give time some time, and everything will pass.

After failures that break one's heart, after emotional wounds that tear one apart, after the gnashing of teeth in pain, after lingering thoughts of people and events, they gradually fade away into insignificance on the path of time, light as clouds and thin as smoke. Therefore, in the journey of life, complain less, be less impatient, regret less. Everything lost will surely return in different forms, enriching our lives and filling our bags.

Time never speaks, yet it will, at some unsuspecting moment, answer all your questions. Time neither rushes nor lags, once made us despairingly pained. Time, as always, will also bring us new hope and confidence. After a thousand sails, we have no regrets; the world always holds something worth looking forward to.

"Nothing is more convincing than time, because time can change everything without notifying us."

Too many relationships can't withstand the rotation of days and months, can't withstand the passage of time.

Love is easy, but living together is hard; when love is intense, it can also turn thin. The promises made in the heat of love often can't endure the bitter years after love fades. Those who say they'll be lifelong friends may scatter in the passage of time. Life comes and goes, and whatever the relationship between people, it's all about fate, and the depth and length of fate depend on whether we can cherish each other day after day, year after year.

The human heart is unpredictable; someone else's heart may not be like ours, and genuine affection doesn't always guarantee genuine affection. As the saying goes: "The road of life may seem short, but it's enough to let you see every face around you." Real love won't be diluted by time; instead, it becomes stronger with the passage of time, enduring forever.

True friendship won't be hindered by time; instead, it deepens with the accumulation of years, becoming more genuine and fragrant. True family affection isn't about never quarreling, but about love remaining after the quarrels.

No matter how the world changes, how many times the seasons change, believe that someone will always stay by your side. Time doesn't speak, yet it sees through hearts; years pass quietly, yet they witness sincerity. In the vast sea of people and the long journey of life, may we all be treated sincerely by many.

If not, let us learn compassion and tolerance in misfortune and loneliness. Do your best and time will tell you the answers.

When we start something, we often rush for results. If we don't see them immediately, it makes us anxious. Little do we realize that just like sowing in spring and reaping in autumn, everything requires time; when the time comes, it will naturally come to fruition. The growth of a towering tree starts from the sprouting of a tiny seed, enduring countless years of wind and rain.

Many things in the world require long-term accumulation for qualitative change. For example, in sports, you won't see significant results in the short term.

This reminds me of a saying: "Whether you exercise or not, the difference will affect the entire life." When you understand this, you see the power of accumulation, and you understand the significance of persistence and self-discipline.

In this world, nothing persists because of seeing hope; rather, persistence allows us to see hope. It's like water dripping on a stone, grinding a needle from a pole. The charm of time lies in the fact that no one can determine what will happen next moment, but please believe, there are no wasted paths in life; every step counts.

Dedicate yourself to what you believe in, and let time handle the rest; it will surely give us the answers we seek. Time doesn't speak, years don't utter a word, yet they make us understand: though the future holds many unknowns and uncertainties, we should all be confident, because time will not fail every effort we put in.

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Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

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Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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The harshest reality of society is that

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