"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

A while ago, after watching Ne Zha 2, I was chatting with a friend about the storyline.

I mentioned that I didn’t like Taiyi Zhenren.
He always seemed careless and unserious — even when danger was imminent, he was still joking around. He struck me as completely unreliable.

I thought others would feel the same.
But later, when I read interviews with the creators and fans, I was surprised:

"Taiyi’s Sichuan accent is hilarious — just seeing him makes me happy!"

"I envy people like him: carefree, cheerful, able to eat and laugh heartily!"

"He has such a relaxed vibe and truly knows how to enjoy life."

Reading these comments hit me hard.

It made me realize:
It wasn’t really Taiyi’s behavior that bothered me — it was my own deep resistance to being that carefree.

The way we judge others often reflects the hidden parts of ourselves.
When we strongly reject certain traits, it's often because we're denying something within.

As we grow, it's important to re-examine the qualities we instinctively label as "bad."

---

Growing up, I was always a "good kid," closely following the values taught by teachers and parents:

Be honest. Be humble.
And, above all, be serious when facing any task.

So when I saw Taiyi joking around at critical moments, I instinctively felt frustrated.

It didn’t help that he wasn't as hardworking as Shen Gongbao, yet still received promotions and special artifacts from his master. It seemed so unfair.

But that frustration didn’t last long.

Later, I saw different perspectives from other viewers:

"Taiyi doesn’t look down on Shen Gongbao, even though he’s from the demon tribe. He treats his disciples with genuine warmth."

"Having a friend like Taiyi would be amazing — someone who helps you enjoy life and forget about your worries."

I realized that from another angle, Taiyi's carefree attitude wasn't laziness — it was freedom.
He’s a master of living joyfully, not just accomplishing tasks.

---

This made me think of another character: Zhu Bajie from Journey to the West.

As a child, I disliked him too — always lazy, complaining, causing trouble, threatening to quit.

Until one day, a classmate said:

"I love Zhu Bajie! Without him, the journey would have been unbearably dull."

It clicked.
Yes, the journey might have been smoother without him — but it would have also been lifeless and bleak.

Sometimes, a trait we dislike at first glance can, from another angle, reveal itself as a hidden strength.

And in that moment, my resentment toward Taiyi dissolved almost completely.

I also realized something even more important:

On the surface, I looked down on "carefree" people.
But deep down, it was a quality I desperately lacked.

---

Each of us has traits we dislike — laziness, selfishness, stubbornness, hypocrisy, and so on.

We often force ourselves to avoid these traits at all costs.
But doing so rigidly can create hidden traps in our lives.

For example, I used to prioritize being "serious" above everything else.
As a result, I often felt tense.
When things didn’t go perfectly, I fell into anxiety and self-doubt.

I spent years trying to figure out how to become less anxious —
but the real answer was simple:

Learn to relax.
Stop taking every task so seriously.

Carefree people know how to prioritize comfort and joy, and in doing so, they care for themselves far better.

The more rigidly we reject a trait, the more likely we are to get stuck when life demands flexibility.

• If you despise selfishness, you might struggle to stand up for your own needs.
• If you hate hypocrisy, you might hurt people by being blunt when tact would have been better.
• If you can’t stand stubbornness, you might lose your own convictions, easily swayed by others.

---

Of course, all this is easy to understand intellectually — but emotionally, it’s much harder.

When we face traits we dislike, we often react automatically:

"This is bad! Stay far away!"

Usually, our hatred of a trait comes from one of two sources:

1. Education — We were taught that the trait is bad.
2. Experience — We suffered because of someone who embodied it excessively.

These lessons are valid.

But ultimately, we need to reevaluate these judgments through our own lived experiences.

From a psychological perspective, no trait is inherently good or bad.
It's not about morality — it's about context and degree.

Even traits we find unpleasant can become strengths when adjusted appropriately.

---

I once experienced this firsthand during a psychology workshop.

The instructor gave us a simple exercise:

Plan a weekend outing in groups — first acting according to your favorite traits, then acting according to your least favorite traits.

In the first round, we all tried to be polite and accommodating.

The result?

Total indecision.
Everyone deferred to everyone else.
No one dared to make a choice.

If just one strong-willed or selfish person had spoken up, we could have decided in minutes.

In the second round, where we acted out our "worst" traits — being stubborn, critical, distracted —
the room was chaotic but lively.

And to everyone’s surprise — we laughed more.
There was a strange, joyful sense of freedom in dropping the mask of politeness.

---

We also discovered unexpected strengths in these disliked traits:

• Being critical brought a refreshing honesty and freedom from internal conflict.
• Being strong-willed made us feel powerful and decisive.
• Being distracted let us step back from conflict and find peace.

When we experience the "other side" of a disliked trait,
we realize it’s not inherently good or bad.

It’s all about how and when it’s used.

---

At this point, you might ask:

"Are you saying we should become the people we dislike?"

Not at all.

Forcing yourself to become what you despise is unnatural — even damaging.

Instead, what we need is observation and mastery.

Traits aren’t absolute.
Life isn’t about clinging to any one role.

It’s about flexibility —
adjusting to different circumstances, mastering different sides of yourself.

In psychology, this is called becoming a complete person:

• Able to be serious, but also able to laugh.
• Able to care for others, but also to protect yourself.

When we meet people we dislike, instead of only criticizing them, we can ask:

"Is there a quality here that I might need more of?"

Meeting different people, reflecting, and clashing with others —
these are precious opportunities for self-awareness and growth.

In the end, traits aren’t the most important thing.

You —
a living, growing, endlessly evolving person —
are what matters most.

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Thriving Through Minimalism: 8 Essential Habits

"People often say that encountering a benefactor can save you from wandering for years in life's twists and turns. In reality, rather than waiting for a benefactor to appear, it's better to become one yourself. Our habits hide our luck and destiny. By adhering to the following 8 minimalist habits, nurturing yourself, you will quietly transform into a formidable person."

1. Simplify Your Sleep Schedule

"People who can't even control their bedtime, how can they control their lives? Early to bed, early to rise; don't let your emotions collapse at night, and you've already won half the battle. Only by resting well at night can you invest more energy into learning, working, and living during the day. Sleeping at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM, consistently for years, if you don't succeed, who will?"

2. Simplify Your Diet

"Everyone loves junk food and fried foods. But remember, you become what you eat. Replace takeout with home-cooked meals, switch bubble tea with fruits, and indulge yourself one day a week while maintaining a healthy diet the rest of the time. You'll radiate with vitality, even saving money on skincare products."

3. Simplify Your Information Intake

"Quality information intake is vital for a healthy brain. Constantly scrolling short videos, indulging in gossip, and consuming low-quality information limits your thinking and perspective, making you susceptible to others' viewpoints. Delete unnecessary apps, mute irrelevant group chats, and turn off app notifications. Spend more time reading books, watching documentaries or movies, and joining high-quality communities to absorb first-hand, quality information. Your mindset will naturally change, and your actions will follow suit, making excellence inevitable."

4. Simplify Your Hobbies

"Everyone experiences fleeting interests, which is fine as long as it's shallow and brief. However, cultivate one or two hobbies deeply to have a mental sanctuary. Immersing yourself in these hobbies can recharge you when life throws challenges your way. Whether it's running, swimming, reading, or walking, hobbies act as mechanisms to enter a state of flow, allowing you to reset and sail again."

5. Simplify Your Social Interactions

"Suggest both introverts and extroverts refuse ineffective social interactions. If a social gathering doesn't provide emotional or beneficial value, politely decline. Reduce contact with people who look down on you, have ulterior motives, especially unfamiliar, annoying relatives, or past relationships. As the saying goes, 'the ability to block' is a person's top skill. Anyone or anything that drains you is not worth your time."

6. Simplify Your Possessions

 

'Any conscious materialist knows that when you possess an object, the object possesses you.' We don't need as much as we think. If your room is filled with rarely used items, there's no space for what you truly need. I regretted not getting rid of a bulky coffee table in the living room sooner. The space suddenly became spacious, allowing me to lay down a carpet, relax, read, binge-watch, and play with family. By letting go of that item, I gained more happiness."

7. Simplify Your Spending

"Spending money brings short-term happiness, while saving money brings long-term joy. When you see something you like, refrain from buying it immediately. Add it to your cart, wait a few days; if you still want it after a while, then go ahead and buy it! Trust me, through a three-tier filtering process, the items you end up purchasing will truly be ones you need and won't regret. By avoiding consumer traps, as your savings grow, you'll have the confidence to try more valuable and meaningful things."

8. Simplify Your Mindset

 When facing complex relationships, encountering bizarre people and situations, be vigilant against emotional drain and avoid being consumed. Stay relaxed, don't rush, and don't be greedy. We can't have everything, but don't worry; we won't have nothing either. As the saying goes, 'You can have a bad experience, but don't indulge in a bad life. Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards; it's always us who play the hand.' Good luck and benefactors won't magically appear. Regardless of the hand we're dealt, as long as we don't give up, we can play a winning hand. We need to polish ourselves day by day, cultivate good habits, and let these habits guide us through life's blind spots. Let's hold onto the vitality that life bestows upon us and live a flourishing life."

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Revitalize: Embracing Exercise for Lifelong Well-being After Middle Age

Have you ever experienced this:

When work stress mounts and you feel restless, going for a run immediately lifts your mood significantly.

Feeling sad and down, struggling to get motivated, breaking into sweat quickly brings relief.

Exercise seems to have a magical effect, releasing stress, relieving boredom, and swiftly lifting you out of emotional turmoil.

Just 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can immediately improve depressive moods and restore a sense of pleasure.

"If you're feeling down, exercising will lift your mood, and that feeling of knowing you're about to get better will completely change your mindset."

As people enter middle age, work, life, and family matters pile up, bringing constant worries.

Instead of feeling lost in emotional turmoil, why not dissipate it through the joy of exercise?

Getting moving is actually the simplest way for us to relieve anxiety and stress.

Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing.

Psychologists have found that exercise has "short-term emotional effects".

Specifically, after exercise, levels of negative emotions like anxiety and depression significantly decrease, while feelings of happiness significantly increase.

This phenomenon is determined by the unique structure of the human body:

When faced with difficulties, the amygdala in the brain continuously releases stress hormones, making us feel nervous and anxious.

Exercise allows the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus in the body to inhibit the excessive reaction of the amygdala, thereby alleviating emotions.

As the saying goes, "Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing."

I once came across a story shared by a netizen, which left a deep impression:

An elder, in his fifties, lost his son.

Unable to accept reality, he was melancholic all day long, shedding tears.

One fine day, the elder's office organized a running event.

His colleagues hoped to change his mood and took the initiative to sign him up and brought him to the event.

After persevering through it, this elder completed the entire run.

Unexpectedly, it was this exhilarating run that began to change his life:

Upon reaching the finish line, he listened to his own heartbeat and felt an unprecedented sense of relaxation.

And all the negative emotions seemed to be temporarily forgotten.

From then on, he started morning runs regularly.

Day after day, he gradually emerged from the pain of losing his son, no longer feeling angry or sad all day long, and even became more emotionally stable than before.

Exercise is an efficient "spiritual detox," evaporating negative emotions along with sweat, refreshing both body and mind.

So, when you're feeling down, why not exercise? Go for a run, punch a bag, kick a ball, swim...

With the rhythmic breathing and stretching of the body, the shackles of emotions will quietly loosen, and everything will return to peace without a fuss.

Finnish scientists have conducted specialized experiments on this:

They found 10 pairs of twins and had one exercise at least twice a week, while the other one did not exercise.

Three years later, it was found that those who exercised every week had clearer thinking, and were better able to cope with stress.

To gain continuous emotional control, one must maintain a long-term exercise habit.

In this way, emotional issues can be addressed from the root.

Middle age is a time when the waves of stress are constantly rising and falling:

The oppression of setbacks in the workplace, pessimism in marriage, and helplessness in life... The waves of emotions challenge our hearts time and time again.

And exercise is the simplest way to improve cognition and manage emotions.

By constantly elevating cognition through exercise, one can truly gain the power to resist the flood of emotions.

In this way, even with the twists and turns of life, we can still find a way out.

Exercise not only heals the present gloomy mood but also provides long-lasting spiritual nourishment.

To manage your emotions through exercise, you may consider the following suggestions:

Choose exercises based on emotions to quickly dispel negativity.

Feeling angry? Try boxing.

Overwhelmed with stress? Try yoga.

Feeling impulsive? Go hiking.

Feeling sad and upset? Dive into the pool.

Maintain a long-term exercise habit to hold the key to emotions.

In addition to short-term emotional relief, making exercise a habit to thoroughly improve cognition and enhance the ability to manage emotions.

Regarding the perseverance of long-term exercise, here are some suggestions:

Exercise at least 3 times a week, each time for about 45 minutes.

Focus on aerobic training, while also incorporating strength training, ensuring a significant increase in heart rate during exercise.

Maintain enthusiasm for exercise and avoid giving up halfway. Here are a few tips to use:

a. Set gradual goals

b. Diversify exercise choices

c. Join a sports groups

Middle age is an age when life is not easy, but we must persevere.

When you encounter setbacks and are filled with sadness, go exercise.

With your head held high, sweat pouring, the haze in your heart will eventually dissipate.

When you feel anxious and stuck in inner conflicts, also go exercise.

Stretch out your arms, keep moving, and all the suppression will vanish with the wind.

When you are self-sufficient and disciplined enough, you will find that there are no hurdles that cannot be overcome and no problems that cannot be solved.

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Six Habits to Thrive in the New Year

In life, happiness and sorrow coexist; joy and sadness walk hand in hand. No one's life is completely smooth sailing. However, we must believe that the current difficulties will pass, and what lies ahead in our future will be joy and happiness. In the new year, each of us should care more about ourselves. Starting with small things and making the best use of the present is the best way to make life more beautiful. Today, I'm sharing six good habits to help us embrace the new year and live a more fulfilling life.

1.Think Less

People without anxiety aren't without it because they are solving the problems causing anxiety. The most effective way to eliminate anxiety is quite simple: to immediately do what causes your anxiety. Often, the more you think, the more anxious you become. No matter how big the problems in life, excessive worry only makes the situation worse. Life presents challenges; everyone faces various pressures. In the New Year, what we truly need to do is to reduce our worries and take more practical action. Remember, the true way to change things is through practical action.

2.Be Optimistic in Everything

If a person's heart is filled with clouds of worry, life will inevitably be full of obstacles. If you live with negative emotions, not only will you feel unhappy, but you won't be able to have a positive impact on others. Worries come from within. To live comfortably, one must positively interpret and understand life. We have many choices in life. To stay optimistic, realize that many people in the world face greater difficulties than you. Face life with a mindset that 'as problems arise, solutions arise', then every day will be filled with beautiful scenes.

3.Find Happiness in Life

In life's journey, there's an endless stream of tasks. If your heart is full of anxiety, happiness will stay far away. When feeling exhausted, stop and take a break. Everyone faces difficulties and grievances; continuous tension will undoubtedly rob life of its joy. The writer Gogol once said, "Happiness prolongs life." Happiness is the vitality of body and mind, hope and belief, confidence in the present and future, and faith in all progress. No matter the situation, with a happy attitude, life will become more fulfilling.

4.Follow a Regular Diet

Food plays a crucial role in life. In daily diet, the balance between meat and vegetables is crucial, with more fresh vegetables. Many health experts also advise: "Eat well for breakfast, eat until you're full for lunch, eat less for dinner." Oily foods and irregular eating habits are not good for health. Reduce meat intake, eat more vegetables, and keep food consumption to about 70% full.

5.Work Diligently

"Life doesn't have too late a start; it's just too lazy to fulfil it." Laziness will consume a person's willpower and enthusiasm, leading to inaction and feelings of defeat. No matter what you do, it doesn't depend on timing, but on whether you are willing to put in the effort. In the new year, working diligently and completing the tasks assigned by your superiors will not only help you earn more but also earn recognition from your boss. Those who are too lazy will find it difficult to lead a good life. If you want to live better, in the new year, make sure to be proactive.

6.Exercise a Little More

We all know the benefits of exercise, but very few actually put it into action. Many people believe that exercise will make them tired; hence they refuse to do it. But perhaps you're not aware that not exercising will make you more tired. People who rarely exercise feel back pain after doing physical activities and feel out of breath after walking a bit. These are signs of a lack of exercise. In the new year, don't hesitate anymore. Start now and create an exercise plan for yourself. By persisting in exercising, you will have a healthy body. Only with good health can life be more beautiful. Time can't be reversed, and moments can't be stopped. I hope in the days ahead, you will strive forward. Let's start with these small habits and shape a brand new self.

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Prime Years' Pinnacle: Managing 35-55 Strategically

The age of 35 marks a critical milestone in life. Before 35, people are usually in their prime youth, a time for learning, accumulating experiences, and continuous experimentation. After 35, life gradually matures, and we need to seriously consider everything, whether it's the burdens of life or the gifts of fate. As Yang Jiang said, "Choose the right path, not the easy one, to truly find yourself."

Today, I'd like to share three powerful rules of life, hoping to inspire you.

Harness the "Ripple Effect"

There's a profound story I once heard. A man, feeling unsuccessful, went to seek advice from a master. The master took him to a lake and threw a stone in. "What do you see?" asked the master. "I see ripples," replied the man. The master continued, "Where do those ripples come from?" "They're caused by the stone you just threw," the man answered. The master smiled and said, "Now try to stop those ripples." The man tried to interfere, but his attempt only caused more ripples, leaving him puzzled. The master cheerfully said, "Life is like that lake. Every step you take might not seem significant at first, but silently shapes your future path." After 35, we should understand that true strength isn't just about moving forward with perseverance but also looking forward. Strong individuals realize that every step taken today lays the foundation for the future.

Cultivate "Story Thinking"

After 35, meticulously tend to every small aspect of the present. Although the gains may seem meagre each time, each step accumulates and eventually builds a strong force. Cultivate "story thinking." A popular view on the internet says, "The most important ability a person can possess isn't mastering technology or marketing but telling a story." Life isn't a monotonous single-lane road; it's a series of vivid, ever-changing scenes. Wise individuals adeptly use the "power of storytelling": they transform dull problems into lively and captivating stories, making tedious truths engaging. When communication becomes swift and clear, the problems at hand naturally become more manageable.

I have heard an educative story. A mother noticed her child always peeking at the answers while doing homework. She repeatedly advised the child, "You must think on your own, homework has significance for testing and improvement..." Predictably, the child didn't listen and the behaviour even worsened. Later, she changed her strategy and decided to first tell the child a story: There was an archer who went to the archer's country to find a highly respected teacher to improve his archery skills. He crossed forests, scaled mountains, and found many arrows perfectly hitting the bulls eye on a tree. Eventually, he met the king, who didn't seem to possess remarkable skills. He asked, "How do you manage to hit the bulls eye with every arrow?" The king smiled and replied, "Anyone can do it. Shoot an arrow first, then draw a bulls eye around it." After hearing this story, the mother looked at the child and said, "Practice is the same. There's no progress in having all the answers correct." The child laughed, then willingly handed the answers to the mother. Logical reasoning might not be easy to persuade, but stories can give people rational insights.

Creating a "Moat"

I once heard an intriguing metaphor: If you liken a person to a castle, there must be a deep and steep moat surrounding it. This moat represents a person's core, ensuring an area of undisturbed refuge, even in the face of external threats. After 35, various pressures come in abundance. Without unique strengths, it's challenging to stand out in life's intense competition. But nothing can defeat someone with a strong core. The strength of one's core determines how smooth the future will be. Life is filled with uncertainties. The only thing we can do is not let today become tomorrow's regret. The best way to create the future is to start now and constantly improve oneself. Establish your moat to better confront the unknown future. After 35, life enters its second half. It's not noble to be better than others; true nobility lies in transcending one's past self. Managing well is a summary of the first half of life and a foundation for future life. May both you and I adhere to these three rules of the strong, crafting an ideal life in life's most crucial period.

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Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

Life always has imperfections; even the ordinary and trivial days reveal the depth of life. The essence of life lies not in wealth and status but in enjoying beautiful experiences and having a heart that appreciates the scenery. Only by living every ordinary day steadfastly can one experience the best of life. The meaning of life doesn't lie in external possessions but in inner richness. To live a beautiful life, one must work diligently, make efforts without excessively pursuing unrealistic fantasies. Even in the face of immense challenges, one must strive to overcome them and move forward despite the storms. Excessively expecting things beyond reach only depletes energy, making life heavier.

Life is about calmly facing everything in front of us, aiming to achieve equanimity and positively seizing it. Do not become addicted to fantasies or lose yourself in the future, but learn to be content with what you have. Live every moment with the best attitude and face each ordinary day calmly. With this approach, what can hinder happiness in life? In this world, possessing a happy mindset is more important than anything else. Keeping a positive attitude, having a broad mind, learning to step forward or back appropriately, balancing pros and cons with goodwill and calmness will fill life with warmth and tranquillity. Understand that life is a journey. As long as we maintain a youthful mindset and cherish the present, our days will be full of peace and happiness, and life will be pleasant and fulfilling.

Indeed, living a simple life allows you to experience peace, and a peaceful mindset allows you to go further. We only have one life, and it won't repeat itself. In this brief life, to live happily, the first step is to shape a good heart. To find happiness, one must adapt to the environment and accept nature. Because happiness comes from inner contentment, and true happiness comes from a satisfied heart. Only by nurturing a serene and peaceful mind will life naturally become joyful and relaxed. Making our state of mind cheerful, optimistic, and free is what we should possess in this world. In reality, every individual experiences unique confusion. Life has never been completely smooth, nor is it ever perfect. Only by maintaining a calm and open mindset, learning to cherish and treat with kindness, will our days be full of unexpected happiness and splendour.

As individuals, if we don't experience the joys and sorrows of life, if we don't confront life's challenges, then we can't truly comprehend the meaning of life. Everyone who comes to this world wishes for a colourful life, hoping for happiness and fulfilment. However, in reality, everyone faces their own setbacks and difficulties. As long as we don't lose heart, remain confident, do not be disheartened when facing setbacks, and smile in the face of life's trivialities, I believe we can overcome any difficulties. Because there's no eternal smooth sailing, no one can go through life without any challenges. Even if we fall, we can stand up again, as long as we maintain a peaceful mindset and fearlessly face hardships; no difficulty is insurmountable. Life is about experiencing the various flavors of the world, witnessing joy and sorrow. To be a qualified visitor in this world, not to waste this journey of life. As long as we and our family are safe and healthy, a peaceful and worry-free life is the most beautiful time in life.

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Sudden Realizations

Some say that life is like a journey filled with numerous trials. It's akin to a stone tumbling into a stream, initially with sharp edges, but over time, as it's worn down by the water's flow, it loses its edges, becoming smoother and rounder.

This process might be filled with pain, yet it's the path to growth. As days go by, the seasons change. After experiencing many things, we suddenly understand.

About Life

Suddenly, I understand: Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good enough. Everyone will face a dark period. During those days, we endure tremendous pressure. It might be long-term efforts that didn't achieve our goals; or giving a lot but not getting recognition; or having well-thought-out ideas but not receiving family understanding. Many things bind us, making us feel tired. However, life is like this; many times, things don’t go as we wish. Perhaps, for some time, life might feel incredibly challenging, with no hope in sight. But as the saying goes: "Do your best, try your hardest, and then let fate decide." When one path is blocked, take another; when a problem is hard to grasp, change your mindset to solve it. After one experiences all the darkness, they’ll realize the difficulties once thought of were not worth worrying about.

Don’t look like you can't handle a little pressure. Don't feel that the future is dark because of a little uncertainty. Don't be disheartened by a setback. In this life, there will inevitably be wrong paths, hardships, setbacks, and traps, and not one will be missing. Persist, get through, move on, and good fortune will naturally come. Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good. In the years to come, may you adjust your mindset, go with the flow, and not let life's pressures burden your life.

About Life Pace

Suddenly, I understand: Each person's life pace is different, and there's no need to be anxious because others got something ahead of us. Have you ever felt like this: throughout our lives, we’re always being chased by the relentless flow of time. In our teens, we fret about academic achievement, and if a classmate scores a bit higher, we rush to study harder; In our twenties, we fret about work and marriage, hastily entering matrimony upon seeing friends married; In our thirties, we fret about children and houses, scrimping while spending significantly on kids' classes and juggling mortgage payments, longing for a bigger home; In our forties, we fret about unemployment, diligently working while pondering side businesses to boost income. Many people spend their entire lives in frenzy, always feeling anxious. They never get the chance to leisurely enjoy the beauty of the world, savouring the bloom and withering, the ebb and flow of clouds. But this kind of life is just too exhausting. One should understand that everyone's pace of life is different.

About Own Pace

Some take 3 minutes for instant noodles; others spend 3 hours making soup. While someone's takeout has arrived at their doorstep, another has just finished chopping garlic and meat. At the barbecue stall, the quickest to be ready is the cucumber dish, and in some buns, the first bite might lack meat. Choose the path you believe is right and proceed with determination, free from unnecessary thoughts. Everyone's pace in life is different; no need to be anxious because someone got something ahead of you. Rather than worrying all day, remain calm, and follow your own rhythm. Take a moment, complete what you should do, be practical, and take one step at a time. The efforts you put in during March and April will naturally yield answers in August and September.

About Love

Suddenly, I understand: Love should be a process that helps each other become better, not mutual depletion. There was a topic asking: "What grievances have you experienced in love?" The comments were quite heart-wrenching. Some went through arduous paths to see someone but received only coldness and indifference. Others meticulously sacrificed, yet all they got was the other's intense demands. Some were treated as invaluable while cherishing their partners as treasures. And others, despite being genuine partners, never appeared in the other's social circles, as if they were a secret lover.

Have you also lost yourself in love and gradually become someone else?

Haruki Murakami once said: "I have the thought of leaving you. It’s not because you're bad, nor that I don’t love you anymore. It's just that the way you treat me makes me feel your world doesn't lack my presence. I could choose to cling to you desperately, but it's pointless. When I'm with you, I become worse, bringing out my weaknesses, impatience, jealousy, and insecurity, evoking the worst side of my character. Therefore, instead of draining each other, it's better to let go. If in a relationship, all you feel is grievances and unhappiness, it's better to let go. A good love should be two people facing life's tests side by side, not making you lose your passion and belief in life. This life is long; there may be many challenges in the future, but being with someone truly in love can help hold up an umbrella against the storms life bring."

May you learn to reconcile with life in the future, without pressuring yourself too much or overanxious, and not sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn't genuinely love you. Let the past fade away and don't worry too much about gains and losses.

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The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

Middle age usually refers to the midpoint in a person's life, roughly between 35 and 55 years old. This stage is often a period of experiencing various changes and challenges in both career and personal life. Some people consider middle age as the golden period of life because individuals might have established a career; possess some economic stability and family life, while also maintaining a certain level of energy and ambitions.

During the middle age phase, individuals might have more experience and wisdom, with more resources and opportunities to pursue personal goals. However, some responsibilities and pressures may increase, particularly from family, career, and financial aspects.

While some might feel content and balanced due to the maturity and stability of this phase, it's not the case for everyone. Each person's feelings and experiences of middle age vary due to the diversity of individual life circumstances and experiences.

During middle age, some individuals might re-evaluate their life goals and values, potentially reconfiguring their path, seeking more meaning and fulfilment. This period can also be a crucial stage for personal growth and development, prompting positive changes in their mental and physical health and lifestyle.

Reasonableness and understanding

Individuals likely have learned much from life and career experiences, leading to emotional and intellectual maturity. This maturity helps them better cope with daily life challenges and more rationally handle conflicts and issues.

During middle age, people generally comprehend and respect the feelings of others more, feeling a heightened sense of responsibility, considering family and society more. Their actions are more measured and deliberate to ensure their decisions and actions align with logic and reason. This trait of reasonableness makes them more adept at communicating, negotiating, and problem-solving in social and interpersonal relationships.

Moreover, middle-aged individuals might have more control and understanding of their emotions and feelings, aiding them in better balancing the various emotional challenges in life. This balanced approach of rationality and emotions typically helps maintain a stable and mature role within both work and family life.

Improve Skills

Middle age is often seen as a crucial stage in life, where people seek balance and strive to deal with various challenges. During this phase, individuals may have more responsibilities, including work, family, and social relationships. Improving skills can involve continually learning new skills, enhancing professional knowledge, and improving skill levels to adapt to the ever-changing environment. This may include expanding knowledge through educational courses, work experiences, and self-directed learning to enhance performance in the workplace.

In middle age, individuals might realize the need to continuously adapt to new technologies, trends, and changing workplace requirements. This indicates the necessity for lifelong learning and constant skill improvement to adapt to the evolving social and professional environment. Through ongoing learning and the development of new skills, an individual can attain greater success in their career. This might involve professional development, lifelong learning, and exploring new fields. Skill enhancement can provide better job opportunities, increase work efficiency, and improve job satisfaction. Additionally, it better prepares individuals to meet the rapidly changing demands of the workplace.

Moreover, improving skills also aids in personal development. It enhances confidence and helps to better understand personal interests and goals. Through continuous learning, an individual can develop their hobbies, improve social abilities, enhance creativity, and prepare for future challenges.

Overall, improving skills is a positive life attitude and a crucial approach to improving abilities in middle age to cope with life's challenges and changes. It also bestows greater confidence upon middle-aged individuals, enabling them to better navigate their career challenges and remain competitive in a fiercely competitive market.

Emotional Control

Emotional control is particularly critical during middle age. This phase might face challenges from career, family, and personal pressures, hence achieving emotional balance and management becomes vital. Managing emotions not only helps to handle stress but also enhances personal mental health and the quality of life for those around us.

Emotional management involves learning to recognize one's emotions and employing positive ways to deal with them. This might include seeking professional help, learning relaxation techniques, or using exercise to relieve stress. Developing positive emotional management skills can heighten self-awareness, promote inner calmness, improve relationships, and assist in better handling challenges and stress.

During middle age, emotional management also fortifies family relationships. Dealing with various pressures in the family, knowing how to control emotions can improve communication with partners and children, uplifting the overall family atmosphere.

Whether facing career challenges, family stress, or personal growth needs, more emotional intelligence is required. Emotional stability and handling methods become vital during this phase.

Emotional control entails understanding one's emotions, managing emotional fluctuations, and not allowing emotions to influence one when facing challenges. The key components include:

1. Emotion Recognition: Identifying emotions is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Understanding what emotions are and recognizing the situations that trigger specific emotions is crucial.
2. Emotional Management: Learning not to let negative emotions control oneself; this can be achieved through practices like meditation, relaxation, physical exercise, etc., to adjust one's emotional state.
3. Self-Control: Rational thinking is more important than emotional decisions in controlling emotions. Managing impulses and emotional outbursts is vital for maintaining calmness and rationality.
4. Communication Skills: Expressing one's emotions through effective communication while learning to listen and understand others' emotions.
5. Stress Management: Acquiring the skills to handle stress and finding suitable ways to de-stress, such as physical exercise, music, art, or engaging with family and friends.
6. Positive Mindset: Cultivating a positive way of thinking is crucial when facing challenges as it assists in approaching problems with greater optimism.
7. Professional Help: Seeking professional psychological counselling might be a beneficial choice when emotions are challenging to control or emotional issues arise.

Mastering emotional control requires continuous practice and self-reflection. Not only does it improve life quality, but it also enhances the performance of middle-aged individuals in their work, family, and social relationships.

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Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

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Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

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Crafting a Better 'You'

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Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

2. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

3. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

4. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

5. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

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