"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"
A while ago, after watching Ne Zha 2, I was chatting
with a friend about the storyline.
I mentioned that I didn’t like Taiyi Zhenren.
He always seemed careless and unserious — even when danger was imminent, he was
still joking around. He struck me as completely unreliable.
I thought others would feel the same.
But later, when I read interviews with the creators and fans, I was surprised:
"Taiyi’s Sichuan accent is hilarious — just seeing him
makes me happy!"
"I envy people like him: carefree, cheerful, able to
eat and laugh heartily!"
"He has such a relaxed vibe and truly knows how to
enjoy life."
Reading these comments hit me hard.
It made me realize:
It wasn’t really Taiyi’s behavior that bothered me — it was my own deep
resistance to being that carefree.
The way we judge others often reflects the hidden parts of
ourselves.
When we strongly reject certain traits, it's often because we're denying
something within.
As we grow, it's important to re-examine the qualities we
instinctively label as "bad."
Growing up, I was always a "good kid," closely
following the values taught by teachers and parents:
Be honest. Be humble.
And, above all, be serious when facing any task.
So when I saw Taiyi joking around at critical moments, I
instinctively felt frustrated.
It didn’t help that he wasn't as hardworking as Shen
Gongbao, yet still received promotions and special artifacts from his master.
It seemed so unfair.
But that frustration didn’t last long.
Later, I saw different perspectives from other viewers:
"Taiyi doesn’t look down on Shen Gongbao, even though
he’s from the demon tribe. He treats his disciples with genuine warmth."
"Having a friend like Taiyi would be amazing — someone
who helps you enjoy life and forget about your worries."
I realized that from another angle, Taiyi's carefree
attitude wasn't laziness — it was freedom.
He’s a master of living joyfully, not just accomplishing tasks.
This made me think of another character: Zhu Bajie
from Journey to the West.
As a child, I disliked him too — always lazy, complaining,
causing trouble, threatening to quit.
Until one day, a classmate said:
"I love Zhu Bajie! Without him, the journey would have
been unbearably dull."
It clicked.
Yes, the journey might have been smoother without him — but it would have also
been lifeless and bleak.
Sometimes, a trait we dislike at first glance can, from
another angle, reveal itself as a hidden strength.
And in that moment, my resentment toward Taiyi dissolved
almost completely.
I also realized something even more important:
On the surface, I looked down on "carefree"
people.
But deep down, it was a quality I desperately lacked.
Each of us has traits we dislike — laziness, selfishness,
stubbornness, hypocrisy, and so on.
We often force ourselves to avoid these traits at all costs.
But doing so rigidly can create hidden traps in our lives.
For example, I used to prioritize being "serious"
above everything else.
As a result, I often felt tense.
When things didn’t go perfectly, I fell into anxiety and self-doubt.
I spent years trying to figure out how to become less
anxious —
but the real answer was simple:
Learn to relax.
Stop taking every task so seriously.
Carefree people know how to prioritize comfort and joy, and
in doing so, they care for themselves far better.
The more rigidly we reject a trait, the more likely we are
to get stuck when life demands flexibility.
- If
you despise selfishness, you might struggle to stand up for your own
needs.
- If
you hate hypocrisy, you might hurt people by being blunt when tact would
have been better.
- If
you can’t stand stubbornness, you might lose your own convictions, easily
swayed by others.
Of course, all this is easy to understand intellectually —
but emotionally, it’s much harder.
When we face traits we dislike, we often react
automatically:
"This is bad! Stay far away!"
Usually, our hatred of a trait comes from one of two
sources:
- Education
— We were taught that the trait is bad.
- Experience
— We suffered because of someone who embodied it excessively.
These lessons are valid.
But ultimately, we need to reevaluate these judgments
through our own lived experiences.
From a psychological perspective, no trait is inherently
good or bad.
It's not about morality — it's about context and degree.
Even traits we find unpleasant can become strengths when
adjusted appropriately.
I once experienced this firsthand during a psychology
workshop.
The instructor gave us a simple exercise:
Plan a weekend outing in groups — first acting according to
your favorite traits, then acting according to your least favorite traits.
In the first round, we all tried to be polite and
accommodating.
The result?
Total indecision.
Everyone deferred to everyone else.
No one dared to make a choice.
If just one strong-willed or selfish person had spoken up,
we could have decided in minutes.
In the second round, where we acted out our
"worst" traits — being stubborn, critical, distracted —
the room was chaotic but lively.
And to everyone’s surprise — we laughed more.
There was a strange, joyful sense of freedom in dropping the mask of
politeness.
We also discovered unexpected strengths in these disliked
traits:
- Being
critical brought a refreshing honesty and freedom from internal conflict.
- Being
strong-willed made us feel powerful and decisive.
- Being
distracted let us step back from conflict and find peace.
When we experience the "other side" of a disliked
trait,
we realize it’s not inherently good or bad.
It’s all about how and when it’s used.
At this point, you might ask:
"Are you saying we should become the people we
dislike?"
Not at all.
Forcing yourself to become what you despise is unnatural —
even damaging.
Instead, what we need is observation and mastery.
Traits aren’t absolute.
Life isn’t about clinging to any one role.
It’s about flexibility —
adjusting to different circumstances, mastering different sides of yourself.
In psychology, this is called becoming a complete person:
- Able
to be serious, but also able to laugh.
- Able
to care for others, but also to protect yourself.
When we meet people we dislike, instead of only criticizing
them, we can ask:
"Is there a quality here that I might need more
of?"
Meeting different people, reflecting, and clashing with
others —
these are precious opportunities for self-awareness and growth.
In the end, traits aren’t the most important thing.
You
—
a living, growing, endlessly evolving person —
are what matters most.
Read Also:
The harshest reality of society is that
No comments:
Post a Comment