Middle Age Minimalim: Stop Doing These 5 Things When You're Broke!

Some friends say they earn just a small monthly salary and don't have any side gigs, so they can't save any money at all! For ordinary office workers who follow the same routine every day, it's indeed difficult to save a large sum each month without any additional sources of income. However, the advice on saving money has always been: it's not about being frugal to the point of stinginess, nor is it necessary for everyone to start a side hustle; it's simply about avoiding wasteful spending.

In daily life, if you can consciously avoid wastefulness, while you might not save big bucks immediately, you'll certainly be able to save some pennies.

Many people might think, "Since I don't have much money anyway, why not enjoy life to the fullest?" Forgive me for being blunt, but this is not the mindset of someone who's living life well. Particularly with these 5 things, the sooner you stop them when you're broke, the better!

1. Stop staying up late

I know quite a few people who stay up late either to work and earn money or to self-improve in hopes of making more money. But if staying up late to earn money compromises basic health, won't it lead to even more financial strain when your health deteriorates? During a period when my children were very young, I tried to improve myself as quickly as possible by working super hard and being extremely disciplined (often staying up late to finish tasks). However, that was also the time when my immune system was at its lowest, and I frequently had to visit clinics for injections and medication. Not only did I not make any money, but I also spent quite a bit, not to mention the suffering. Eventually, I came to a conclusion: Regardless of whether you make money or not, prioritize your health, stop staying up late, and take care of your body first.

2.Stop impulse shopping

I truly understand the impulse to buy things. Just last weekend, I bought a pair of jeans myself. However, jeans are a necessity because the ones at home are either very old or too tight (okay, I admit I might have gained a bit of weight in middle age). But did you know? At that time, I also really wanted to buy a top to match the jeans. I tried on about six or seven options, and there were two that I really liked: one was a light green striped linen shirt with 3/4 sleeves, and the other was a cream-colored long-sleeved T-shirt. I was truly tempted to buy them all. However, after a moment of thought, I realized I already had two shirts at home and several white short-sleeved ones. Thinking of this, I controlled myself and left without making any purchases. Thank goodness for that moment of reflection, which prevented me from making an impulse purchase.

3.Stop being idle

From childhood to adulthood, I've always been aware that without any special resources or innate talent, hard work is the key to success in both learning and life. After all, isn't living about finding things to do for ourselves regularly? I've always had a somewhat biased view: once someone becomes idle, trouble follows. So, you see, wherever there are many idle people in a household, things usually don't go well. Many years ago, there was a young man who hadn't studied much. Later, through a referral, he got a job at a mobile phone repair shop and has been working there for many years. It's said he's still there now. Yes, people aren't afraid of you earning less or lacking big ambitions; they're afraid of you being idle all day and drifting aimlessly. Don't ever try those shortcuts to make money; sooner or later, you'll land yourself in trouble. If you're broke, find a decent job, work diligently, and enjoy the warmth of family life!

4.Stop complaining about being poor

I truly can't understand why some people keep complaining about being poor. Complaining about being poor doesn't solve any problems or earn any money. So, remember, don't cry poverty in front of others because they won't give you any money; they'll just laugh at you. Also, don't often think to yourself that you're just like this and will be poor for the rest of your life. I believe that in life: you must often encourage yourself, keep yourself energized, and then work hard to make money. This kind of outlook on life may not make ordinary people rich and prosperous, but living a stable and comfortable life shouldn't be a problem. Look around, those families that were once very poor but kept quiet about it later turned out fine. Parents' hard work is seen by their descendants, who then tend to be more capable. I think this is how most individuals, through self-motivation and effort, achieve family transformation. So, never cry poverty; strive and work hard at all times.

5.Stop comparing

Comparing yourself to others brings nothing but frustration. When poor people compare themselves to rich people, it feels like they've fallen from heaven to hell. When I was young, my family was really poor. Our family squeezed into two small rooms. At that time, I envied classmates who had their own houses. My mother probably sensed what I was feeling because she said: "You're students now, so don't compare what you eat and wear with others. Instead, compare who studies better. If you study well, you'll get a good job in the future and can have whatever you want." Looking back now, those words might have been a bit crude, but there was nothing wrong with the values they instilled: don't compare what you don't have with others; create what you want for yourself. So, whenever I hear about who's rich and what they've bought, I'm almost indifferent, and I don't feel any vanity or jealousy. Because I know: what others have is what they've created, and what I want, I'll create for myself.

Some friends might think, "We work so hard every day to earn money, isn't it for spending?" I admit, it's for spending. But, the key is how you spend it: I have no hesitation when it comes to: buying books for myself, buying jeans (I try them on in stores rather than endlessly comparing options online), signing up for lessons with experienced teachers when I want to learn a new skill… These are non-negotiable for me. What people see might be my frugality and simplicity, but only I know: this is my abundance in life, and I find joy in it.

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Leading by Example

I've always believed: there are no subordinates who can't be managed well, only leaders who don't know how to manage.

Ultimately, management is about two things: managing people and managing tasks.

If people aren't managed well, problems arise; if tasks aren't managed well, failure follows.

How to manage people and tasks? It boils down to eight words: manage people steadily, manage tasks accurately.

Let's explore this together today.

01 Don't overly concern yourself with others' attitudes

What does managing people steadily mean? It means not being impatient, not being afraid, and not losing face.

When managing people, we inevitably encounter various problems. For example, subordinates may be growing too slowly and not meeting expectations, or they may not respect you, lack motivation in their work, and quit at the slightest disagreement.

At such times, you must remain steady. The key is to remain unhurried, unafraid, and unashamed.

1.Remain unhurried

Almost all management problems stem from people issues. When managing people, avoid rushing for quick results.

Because once you rush for quick results, you're prone to overlook the natural growth process of talent, resort to crude methods, and often end up with unsatisfactory outcomes.

Rome wasn't built in a day; you need patience and timing.

So, don't be in a hurry. Do what you need to do, wait patiently, some flowers bloom slowly on their own, and some things gradually fall into place; you must have patience.

2.Don't be afraid

What do managers fear? One is the fear of conflicts within the team, and the other is the fear of employees making mistakes.

Some managers fear conflicts with subordinates. They always say "okay" no matter what the subordinates do, and agree to whatever requests the subordinates make. They never have their own bottom line and always compromise.

Managers grow through conflicts, not harmony. If you always seek harmony, your subordinates won't respect you, and no one will listen to you, making it impossible to manage the team well.

Some managers are also afraid that subordinates will make mistakes, resulting in low efficiency. To get results faster, they may end up doing the work themselves.

However, if a subordinate never makes mistakes, they may not be doing anything at the company.

Procter & Gamble even has a rule: if an employee goes three months without making a mistake, they are considered an unsatisfactory employee.

So, don't be afraid of subordinates making mistakes; give them the opportunity to make mistakes. Because only then will they learn from their mistakes and grow.

Of course, if someone keeps making mistakes and refuses to learn, you don't need to be afraid; you can persuade them with reason, encourage them with incentives, and if all else fails, take disciplinary action.

3.Don't be ashamed

Losing face means being able to set aside your ego and not overly concern yourself with others' attitudes.

When managing people, don't be afraid to offend anyone. If a subordinate makes a mistake, stick to your principles and point out the issue firmly, rather than trying to cover it up to save face.

Be willing to speak frankly, lead with the ugly truth, explain the consequences of failing to meet objectives, and urge the team to stay committed to the goals.

And during the process of managing tasks, also supervise execution rigorously, correct processes, evaluate results, and make rewards and punishments clear. Replace or dismiss those who are not up to standard.

By being "unhurried, unafraid, and unashamed," you can elevate your management to a higher level.

02 Managing tasks accurately ensures results.

1.Focus on the big picture

Focusing on the big picture means prioritizing major tasks, focusing on the most important things.

Some managers don't do this; they usually try to handle everything at once, ending up busier and less efficient, which is essentially being busy for the sake of it.

According to the Pareto Principle, the most important things account for only 20%, while the remaining 80%, although the majority, are not actually crucial.

So, you only need to focus on the big tasks, the key points.

The so-called big tasks are those that have a significant impact on the results. To judge the importance of a task, you must think deeply, identify the main contradictions, and understand the essence of the matter.

2.Delegate authority

Delegating authority means empowerment. Some tasks don't require you to do them yourself; you can delegate them to the right people.

Which tasks can be delegated? A good reference is whether the task or project will be affected if you're not involved.

So, what kind of subordinates should you delegate authority to? It mainly depends on two factors:

First, whether they can do it. To successfully complete the work, you need to find someone among your subordinates who are skilled and experienced enough to deliver results.

Second, whether they are willing to do it. Capability is one thing, but willingness is another. If someone is capable but unwilling, don't force them.

If they're capable and willing, they will continue to be self-driven, constantly seeking solutions to problems.

It's important to note that while delegating authority, you should also learn to mitigate risks. Mitigating risks means following up on the process, providing timely help and support, acting as a coach rather than a supervisor.

3.Pay attention to details

Paying attention to details means focusing on critical junctures, important details, and areas where results can be achieved; you must see things through to the end.

Paying attention to detail means being able to conduct checks on areas where mistakes may occur.

By focusing on the big picture, delegating authority, and paying attention to detail, managing tasks accurately ensures results.

03 In conclusion, management is about two things: managing people and managing tasks.

Managing people requires steadiness - not being in a hurry, not being afraid, and not losing face. Managing tasks requires accuracy - focusing on the big picture, delegating authority, and paying attention to detail, seeing things through to the end.

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Life experiences

1. Pay attention to those who are very good in dealing with others.

People who are good in dealing with others are all savvy individuals; they have high emotional intelligence, articulate well, and make you feel comfortable in their presence. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people.

When judging someone, don't just listen to what they say; observe their actions. Pay attention to details, feel with your heart, not just with your ears.

2. Make money as much as possible, save money diligently, money is very important.

No matter what your financial situation is, save money whenever possible. In this society, money is the most important shield for you and your family.

Nowadays, it feels like the weekend hasn't been spent if they haven't gone shopping, and it feels like they haven't gone shopping if they haven't bought anything. They feel wronged if they go shopping without having a cup of milk tea or a meal.

Save money in life, and there's no need to spend $6 on milk tea when $1 bottled water can do the job. Your savings are your lifeline.

3. Don't deliberately flatter others.

Those whom you flatter and fawn over, what real help can they offer you? Even if they do help you, sooner or later you'll have to repay them twofold. Moreover, why should they help you? The more you flatter others, the more others will flatter them, and the more incapable you'll appear.

Instead of trying to flatter others, spend that energy thinking about how to improve yourself.

4. Don't try to take shortcuts in anything.

For example, don't cheat on homework normally, don't think about cheating on exams, don't lie to deceive people; you are deceiving yourself.

Do you think you're deceiving the teacher by copying homework?

5. Things that make you suffer actually bring you happiness, and things that make you happy are often not real happiness.

Playing games and browsing on your phone are very comfortable, but that kind of short-term happiness often brings permanent pain.

Studying is painful, especially in the early stages. Stretching and running are painful. But these brief pains often bring long-term happiness.

6. It's never too late to start working hard.

It's never too late to start learning anything.

Many skills are usually acquired with just a few years of hard work. As long as you persist, regardless of what it is, you will gradually reap rewards.

7. Be calm and not judge others based on yourself.

Everyone's experiences are different, and their attitudes toward things are also different. You can disagree with someone's opinion, but don't question or oppose it. Don't try to impose your thoughts on others; it will only make you look foolish.

8. Don't prioritize interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are built on the circle you're in and are more determined by your abilities. If you have achieved nothing and have no value to offer, why should others help you? Only when you have the ability do you have the right to talk about interpersonal relationships.

9. Learning is a lifelong process, and reading is the lowest-cost, fastest way to grow.

Don't stop learning just because you're working. Many things can only be truly understood through practice. By learning while working, you will grow rapidly.

10. Stay away from trashy people.

If a dog bites you, would you bite the dog back?

If you encounter trashy people in life, endure a little grievance and leave as soon as possible. It's better to have one less thing to worry about.

11. Don't deliberately please others, and don't force yourself into circles you don't belong to.

Whether in school or after work, if you can't get along with classmates or colleagues, keep your distance. Focus on learning seriously and working diligently to enrich your life. You live for yourself, not to please others.

12. The more you talk, the less weight your words carry.

In daily life, except with friends, don't become a chatterbox when interacting with others. In this day and age, besides family and friends, no one has so much free time to listen to your nonsense.

13. Time will reveal true intentions.

People's hearts are unpredictable, and seeing someone's true intentions over time may not always be accurate. Communicate more, and you'll eventually see people's true intentions.

14.  Face is earned, not given by others.

When you feel that others don't respect you, don't get angry.

Others are not obliged to respect you. Whether or not you can earn others' respect depends on your abilities and character.

As the saying goes, face is earned, not given by others.

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Revitalize: Embracing Exercise for Lifelong Well-being After Middle Age

Have you ever experienced this:

When work stress mounts and you feel restless, going for a run immediately lifts your mood significantly.

Feeling sad and down, struggling to get motivated, breaking into sweat quickly brings relief.

Exercise seems to have a magical effect, releasing stress, relieving boredom, and swiftly lifting you out of emotional turmoil.

Just 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can immediately improve depressive moods and restore a sense of pleasure.

"If you're feeling down, exercising will lift your mood, and that feeling of knowing you're about to get better will completely change your mindset."

As people enter middle age, work, life, and family matters pile up, bringing constant worries.

Instead of feeling lost in emotional turmoil, why not dissipate it through the joy of exercise?

Getting moving is actually the simplest way for us to relieve anxiety and stress.

Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing.

Psychologists have found that exercise has "short-term emotional effects".

Specifically, after exercise, levels of negative emotions like anxiety and depression significantly decrease, while feelings of happiness significantly increase.

This phenomenon is determined by the unique structure of the human body:

When faced with difficulties, the amygdala in the brain continuously releases stress hormones, making us feel nervous and anxious.

Exercise allows the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus in the body to inhibit the excessive reaction of the amygdala, thereby alleviating emotions.

As the saying goes, "Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing."

I once came across a story shared by a netizen, which left a deep impression:

An elder, in his fifties, lost his son.

Unable to accept reality, he was melancholic all day long, shedding tears.

One fine day, the elder's office organized a running event.

His colleagues hoped to change his mood and took the initiative to sign him up and brought him to the event.

After persevering through it, this elder completed the entire run.

Unexpectedly, it was this exhilarating run that began to change his life:

Upon reaching the finish line, he listened to his own heartbeat and felt an unprecedented sense of relaxation.

And all the negative emotions seemed to be temporarily forgotten.

From then on, he started morning runs regularly.

Day after day, he gradually emerged from the pain of losing his son, no longer feeling angry or sad all day long, and even became more emotionally stable than before.

Exercise is an efficient "spiritual detox," evaporating negative emotions along with sweat, refreshing both body and mind.

So, when you're feeling down, why not exercise? Go for a run, punch a bag, kick a ball, swim...

With the rhythmic breathing and stretching of the body, the shackles of emotions will quietly loosen, and everything will return to peace without a fuss.

Finnish scientists have conducted specialized experiments on this:

They found 10 pairs of twins and had one exercise at least twice a week, while the other one did not exercise.

Three years later, it was found that those who exercised every week had clearer thinking, and were better able to cope with stress.

To gain continuous emotional control, one must maintain a long-term exercise habit.

In this way, emotional issues can be addressed from the root.

Middle age is a time when the waves of stress are constantly rising and falling:

The oppression of setbacks in the workplace, pessimism in marriage, and helplessness in life... The waves of emotions challenge our hearts time and time again.

And exercise is the simplest way to improve cognition and manage emotions.

By constantly elevating cognition through exercise, one can truly gain the power to resist the flood of emotions.

In this way, even with the twists and turns of life, we can still find a way out.

Exercise not only heals the present gloomy mood but also provides long-lasting spiritual nourishment.

To manage your emotions through exercise, you may consider the following suggestions:

Choose exercises based on emotions to quickly dispel negativity.

Feeling angry? Try boxing.

Overwhelmed with stress? Try yoga.

Feeling impulsive? Go hiking.

Feeling sad and upset? Dive into the pool.

Maintain a long-term exercise habit to hold the key to emotions.

In addition to short-term emotional relief, making exercise a habit to thoroughly improve cognition and enhance the ability to manage emotions.

Regarding the perseverance of long-term exercise, here are some suggestions:

Exercise at least 3 times a week, each time for about 45 minutes.

Focus on aerobic training, while also incorporating strength training, ensuring a significant increase in heart rate during exercise.

Maintain enthusiasm for exercise and avoid giving up halfway. Here are a few tips to use:

a. Set gradual goals

b. Diversify exercise choices

c. Join a sports groups

Middle age is an age when life is not easy, but we must persevere.

When you encounter setbacks and are filled with sadness, go exercise.

With your head held high, sweat pouring, the haze in your heart will eventually dissipate.

When you feel anxious and stuck in inner conflicts, also go exercise.

Stretch out your arms, keep moving, and all the suppression will vanish with the wind.

When you are self-sufficient and disciplined enough, you will find that there are no hurdles that cannot be overcome and no problems that cannot be solved.

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Escaping the Comfort Zone: The Most Toxic Chicken Soup I Ever Had

As the end of the year approaches, it seems like everyone is falling into various states of confusion:

Maybe you're about to graduate, torn between the careers your family recommend and your own aspirations;

Maybe you've been working hard for years, only to find that your job no longer suits you;

Or perhaps you want to invest your energy outside of work and find a side hustle that suits you.

At times like these, it seems like everyone around you is earnestly advising:

"Staying in your comfort zone all the time will make you stagnant; only by stepping out of your comfort zone can you become a better version of yourself."

But what's the reality?

When you want to step out but lack suitable references, you can't help but feel lost and confused.

Is stepping out of the comfort zone really about going to uncomfortable places?

The more appropriate advice should be trying to continually expand our comfort zone to make more things comfortable for us.

Stepping out of the comfort zone isn't about breaking it, but about establishing and expanding more comfort zones.

Everything should be based on your own capabilities, take it easy.

As soon as you hear the word "comfort," many people's first reaction is to think it's not progressive.

"Young people should strive hard. If you don't work hard now, you'll regret it later."

"Why don't you go for a master's degree? Having a degree will make it much easier to find a job or switch jobs."

This panic of falling behind forces those who have finally caught their breath to keep busy.

Once they stumble, there are people behind them saying with a strange tone, "See, I knew it wouldn't work. I should have advised you to change earlier."

Feeling restless and wanting to relax online, what you see is:

Naturally beautiful women still doing homework every day to maintain their appearance; knowledgeable scholars tirelessly sharing study abroad opportunities; sweet couples continuously recommending items to warm up their relationships...

These groundless "appearance anxiety," "financial anxiety," and "educational anxiety" spring up like whirlpools.

So, we start desperately trying to escape our old selves.

But have you ever thought that this isn't stepping out of your comfort zone but stepping into the circle drawn by others?

Many netizens have asked, "Is choosing to stay in your comfort zone not progressive?"

Jumping around, hitting walls everywhere, she still didn't live the better life her mother wanted.

Stepping away from comfort and embracing discomfort must be the right thing to do, right?

Even if you listen to others and change your environment, what then?

For someone who doesn't like studying, even if you drag them to the library, they'll still play with their phones;

For someone who's used to living in the countryside, even if you take them to adapt to the big city, they still can't seek change.

The stupidest thing is to abandon your strengths and desperately try to compete with others in areas where you're weak, suddenly switch careers to compete with experts.

And those who advise you to step out of your comfort zone with ill intentions are just trying to make money off your anxiety.

There's absolutely no need to use the "glamorous and bright" in other people's mouths as a reference to measure your own life.

Being blindly led by others will only bury your own brilliance.

Just like for fish, stepping out of the comfort zone should be from the pond to the river, not from water to land.

What we really should do is to base everything on ourselves and take it easy.

After all, in this life, knowing who you are, what you want to do, is enough.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is a ridiculous idea.

When you're in your comfort zone, you feel like you're in control and safe;

When you're in the learning zone, you face challenges but don't feel too uncomfortable;

When you jump into the panic zone, facing things far beyond your abilities, you're very likely to collapse.

That's why truly smart people never easily step out of their comfort zone but constantly expand it.

As the saying goes, "Not everyone has to live like a warrior in life."

If you like reading and writing, there's no need to force yourself to rely on speaking to make a living;

If you like to work quietly alone, there's no need to force yourself to be sociable;

Only by forgetting about the idea of "stepping out" and trying to expand your comfort zone as much as possible, getting familiar with more and more environments, will your heart be more stable.

In this way, your life will have both relaxed pleasure and high-speed fun.

In the end, every area becomes your comfort zone.

Such a life is wonderful.

I once heard a saying:

The scariest thing for a person is to stay in one place all the time, limit their own life, and draw lines, missing out on more possibilities.

Indeed, if you stay in your comfort zone for too long, it will become a breeding ground for laziness.

But to avoid this situation, you don't necessarily have to go to extremes.

It's more like a tree, firmly rooted in the ground to withstand the storm.

Digging Deep into the Comfort Zone: Creating New Layers Around What You're Good At

I think of a friend around me.

She has worked for two well-known media companies, and then she jumped to a booming tech company.

In theory, such a woman with career planning and professional skills should continue to advance step by step and strive for better jobs in the workplace.

But two years ago, she suddenly told me that she had quit her job and planned to start her own media platform.

I asked her why, and she only said that in today's rapidly changing content landscape, she wanted to explore more possibilities related to "writing."

In hindsight, she was right and met a better version of herself in her passion.

After all the twists and turns, it's hard for a person to get rid of their talents, interests, and industry accumulations to do things.

Without talent, you can't be strong; without interests, you can't last long; without industry experience, it's impossible to make money.

Just like why a compass can draw circles, because it has its center of gravity.

Life is like drawing a circle.

Once you've determined the center, just keep going, and you'll draw a complete circle.

Expanding the Comfort Zone: Expand the Edge of the Comfort Zone Outward and Turn the Learning Zone into the Comfort Zone

So how do you gradually expand your comfort zone?

A line from a movie might inspire us—

"You have to go to a restaurant one day and order a dish you've never ordered before, eat it all, and then realize it's quite delicious."

In daily life, you might as well set aside 15% of your time and energy to try things you've never done before, understand aspects of life or ideas you've never tried to understand.

For example, buy a book you've never been interested in before, sign up for a course you've never thought of taking, accept an invitation you were planning to refuse, or actively talk to a colleague you're not very familiar with...

You don't have to force yourself to go out, just try to explore the edge of your comfort zone slowly and expand it.

It's like when a gym trainer asks students to do two more sets of exercises when they can't.

You might ask why, but actually, doing these two extra sets each time promotes the continuous tearing and growth of muscles, ultimately achieving the goal of fitness.

That's 80% comfortable and 20% boundary breakthroughs.

Once you take the first step, you'll find that it's not as terrifying as you thought.

Someone once asked about "how to step out of the comfort zone," and expert only replied with, "Why?"

Expert isn't asking for a reason, but letting the person ask himself why he want to step out of his comfort zone. Once you have an answer, you naturally know how to do it."

Indeed, the answer to this question lies within ourselves.

When you know who you are, where to go, and what to do, whether you're inside or outside the circle becomes irrelevant.

Next year, if someone advises you to step out of your comfort zone again, you can confidently reply:

"No need, I've already learned how to expand my own comfort zone."

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Golden Years Prep: Three Essentials for Happiness

Recently, I came across a popular video on a certain platform. An 88-year-old ex teacher was interviewed on the roadside: "What are your thoughts on old age?" The elderly person firmly responded, "No surgery, no intubation, no resuscitation. Especially, no admission to the intensive care unit." When asked for the reason, the elderly person said, "At my age, death is inevitable. Resuscitation would not only make me suffer but also waste national resources. These resources are better used to save young people." While the elderly person's open-mindedness is admirable, can their children agree?

"I always tell them, instead of forcibly holding onto your parents' physical bodies, think about the influence your parents had on you. Keeping these good memories is enough." This insightful dialogue garnered millions of likes from netizens.

 "A good death is better than a life of painful lingering" is a deeply rooted concept among countless people. "Longevity" has always been assumed to be the best blessing for the elderly. However, is a long life equivalent to a happy life?

More and more elderly people are beginning to offer "unconventional" answers. I once read a story about a senior who suffered a sudden stroke and was rushed to the hospital. After doctors made every effort to save his life, they managed to bring him back from the brink. However, for the rest of his life, he needed round-the-clock care from medical staff to continue living. In other words, he became a "living dead" person.

Yet, his daughter insisted on not giving up her father's life. As a result, the elderly man spent four years in the ICU before multiple organ failure led to his demise. While the daughter's filial piety is commendable, doctors have a different view: "Although we extended his life, we did not improve his quality of life." "Family members can visit for only one hour a day. What his daughter sees is that he seems happy during that one hour. So, she thinks he's happy every day. But what we see is the patient suffering for the remaining 23 hours."

The daughter of the elderly man was once asked, "Have you ever thought that perhaps your father would prefer to pass away more peacefully?" She replied, "I dare not think about it, nor do I want to. At least for now, I can afford to give him the best treatment, which makes me feel better." Of course, as children, it's very difficult for us to actively give up our parents' lives! As long as we can still save them, we want to keep our parents with us for another day.

But if we look at it from a different perspective, if the elderly person can express their wishes, would they praise their children's filial piety, or would they criticize their children for making them suffer? The elderly person may not bear to make such a choice, but I believe everyone has their own answer in their hearts. Regardless of whether we are willing to admit it, longevity is premised on "health." Otherwise, it's "living in suffering."

In this regard, elderly people often see more clearly than young people. "Many elderly people have been eating medication for a long time, ruining their bodies." Therefore, more and more elderly people are adopting the retirement philosophy of "treating minor illnesses, accepting major illnesses, and not pursuing excessive medical treatment." "The sooner you go, the better. Don't burden your children and end up with nothing."

"Living longer" is becoming easier, but "living well" is becoming more difficult.

Despite advances in medical conditions and improvements in living standards, why are so many elderly people less inclined to "live" now? It's because while society has progressed, elderly care has become more challenging. Foremost among them is the fact that "raising children is no longer a guarantee against old age."

It's not that children don't want to be filial, but they are truly powerless. I once saw a video online. A senior was bedridden for 16 years, and it was his daughter in her fifties who took care of him. Every day, she had to lift him in and out of bed, clean up his waste, bathe him, feed him, give him medicine, and take him for walks... Every day, for 16 years.

This is indeed a perfect example of "raising children to prevent old age."

But what about the other side of the story?

The senior had a pension that could cover most of his living expenses; the daughter retired early, giving up her personal life entirely to care for her father; the son-in-law took on most of the work of earning money and raising children; the daughter's family had no financial pressure from mortgages or car loans; there were other relatives in the family who could occasionally share the responsibility of caregiving.

Behind this "perfect" filial piety are the aggregation of numerous conditions and countless sacrifices. It's difficult to replicate in every family. We always remember "raising children to prevent old age" as a tradition, but forget that "it was a product of a specific era." In the past, medical conditions were poor, and parents generally did not live long.

There were fewer elderly people suffering from dementia or hemiplegia, and caring for them was not as difficult as it is now. Plus, at that time, every family's finances were similar, there were more children, and many women didn't work. "There was not much financial pressure"  making it less difficult to support elderly parents.

But what about now?

For couples with children, life becomes unsustainable if one doesn't go out to earn money. Although the elderly are living longer, they are also plagued by various illnesses, requiring long-term care. Parents, children, work, mortgages, car loans—all these are mountains pressing down on middle-aged people.

This forces children to make sacrifices. Although everyone makes different choices, under the harsh reality, there are always parents who "can't rely on" their children. So, if not relying on children, what about relying on society? Currently, our society's elderly care mainly consists of "home-based care" or "nursing homes."

Elderly people who can take care of themselves mostly choose to stay at home, which is free and saves money. As for the elderly people who are sent to nursing homes, they generally have various illnesses, and they lose some of their ability to care for themselves.

"Not making mistakes" is the caregivers' top priority. "Making the elderly happy" can only be an added bonus. Therefore, the "hardship" in nursing homes does not come from the news about elderly abuse but rather because: under limited manpower conditions, only basic care and some emotional support can be provided to the elderly.

Ensuring that the elderly "stay alive" rather than "live well." As you can see, although medical advances unilaterally extend the lives of the elderly, how they can live well remains a "dilemma." After retirement, some elderly people learn swimming, painting, calligraphy, or singing. Even if their children are not around, their lives are fulfilling and happy.

Happy people are always similar. Many elderly people who have a good late life understand one thing: "Elderly care depends on oneself." Life can never be perfect at any age.

We can always find a lifestyle that suits us better among them. Prepare three savings:

I once saw a sentence online that inspired me: "Elderly care is actually choosing a way to grow old gracefully. There is no limit to the method, and there is no standard answer.

But the most important thing is: always remember to put yourself first."

To spend your old age more comfortably, I suggest everyone include "retirement planning" in their life plan. Starting from now, prepare the following "three savings":

1.Financial savings

The reason why money is important is that it gives the elderly "choices": they can buy what they want to eat, go wherever they want; if their children are not filial, they can hire caregivers to live alone without worrying about their children's faces; and in case of illness, having money in their pockets will ease their minds. When it comes to elderly care, money is definitely more reliable than children.

Many elderly people have been frugal all their lives, just to subsidize their children.

But really don't do this.

You can occasionally help your children in emergencies, but never make it an entitlement. Leave the money to yourself, and let your children take responsibility for their own lives. Taking care of ourselves with money is the greatest help we can give our children.

2.Psychological value savings

Many elderly people have a smooth material life in their old age, but they always feel bitter inside because they base their happiness on "their children's companionship." Why not change your perspective? Treat your old age as your "second life."

Make your own "bucket list," try things you like, and learn to make yourself happy. We've worked hard all our lives, and it's only in our old age that we finally have the "money and leisure." We must make the most of it.

3.Health savings

Undoubtedly, "health" is the most important condition for elderly care. But it's placed last because it's also the most uncontrollable and powerless part for the elderly. No one can stop the aging and deterioration of the body.

So, while your body is still healthy, eat clean food, exercise regularly, and take care of your physical and mental health. Once illness strikes, learn to accept the decline of life naturally. "Treat minor illnesses, accept major illnesses, and avoid excessive medical treatment," allowing life to end gracefully and gently.

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Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths

There's a saying: "Time never speaks, yet it answers all questions." 

Time can dilute everything, yet also prove everything. Time never fails those who strive hard; with every test in life, it gradually reveals the best answers to you.

When we suddenly look back, we often can't help but feel sentimental. It's as if just a moment ago, the fragrance of flowers filled the air, but in the blink of an eye, it's already a mound of fallen petals in the passage of time.

We often exclaim, "Time passes too quickly" or "Time passes so slowly," but when has time ever changed even a bit? It never hurries nor slows, neither mourns nor rejoices; it quietly slips away. The so-called "fast" and "slow" are merely due to our different circumstances and moods, leading to different perceptions of time.

"Life is a mixture of mud and sand, with flowers and thorns coexisting." Whose life sails smoothly? Whose life isn't beset by storms and mud? Time never stops, so give time some time, and everything will pass.

After failures that break one's heart, after emotional wounds that tear one apart, after the gnashing of teeth in pain, after lingering thoughts of people and events, they gradually fade away into insignificance on the path of time, light as clouds and thin as smoke. Therefore, in the journey of life, complain less, be less impatient, regret less. Everything lost will surely return in different forms, enriching our lives and filling our bags.

Time never speaks, yet it will, at some unsuspecting moment, answer all your questions. Time neither rushes nor lags, once made us despairingly pained. Time, as always, will also bring us new hope and confidence. After a thousand sails, we have no regrets; the world always holds something worth looking forward to.

"Nothing is more convincing than time, because time can change everything without notifying us."

Too many relationships can't withstand the rotation of days and months, can't withstand the passage of time.

Love is easy, but living together is hard; when love is intense, it can also turn thin. The promises made in the heat of love often can't endure the bitter years after love fades. Those who say they'll be lifelong friends may scatter in the passage of time. Life comes and goes, and whatever the relationship between people, it's all about fate, and the depth and length of fate depend on whether we can cherish each other day after day, year after year.

The human heart is unpredictable; someone else's heart may not be like ours, and genuine affection doesn't always guarantee genuine affection. As the saying goes: "The road of life may seem short, but it's enough to let you see every face around you." Real love won't be diluted by time; instead, it becomes stronger with the passage of time, enduring forever.

True friendship won't be hindered by time; instead, it deepens with the accumulation of years, becoming more genuine and fragrant. True family affection isn't about never quarreling, but about love remaining after the quarrels.

No matter how the world changes, how many times the seasons change, believe that someone will always stay by your side. Time doesn't speak, yet it sees through hearts; years pass quietly, yet they witness sincerity. In the vast sea of people and the long journey of life, may we all be treated sincerely by many.

If not, let us learn compassion and tolerance in misfortune and loneliness. Do your best and time will tell you the answers.

When we start something, we often rush for results. If we don't see them immediately, it makes us anxious. Little do we realize that just like sowing in spring and reaping in autumn, everything requires time; when the time comes, it will naturally come to fruition. The growth of a towering tree starts from the sprouting of a tiny seed, enduring countless years of wind and rain.

Many things in the world require long-term accumulation for qualitative change. For example, in sports, you won't see significant results in the short term.

This reminds me of a saying: "Whether you exercise or not, the difference will affect the entire life." When you understand this, you see the power of accumulation, and you understand the significance of persistence and self-discipline.

In this world, nothing persists because of seeing hope; rather, persistence allows us to see hope. It's like water dripping on a stone, grinding a needle from a pole. The charm of time lies in the fact that no one can determine what will happen next moment, but please believe, there are no wasted paths in life; every step counts.

Dedicate yourself to what you believe in, and let time handle the rest; it will surely give us the answers we seek. Time doesn't speak, years don't utter a word, yet they make us understand: though the future holds many unknowns and uncertainties, we should all be confident, because time will not fail every effort we put in.

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Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

As the year-end approaches, people always like to summarize the year. What have they accomplished this year, and what goals have they not yet achieved? At the beginning of the year, they are more enthusiastic about setting new goals. Regardless of whether they will take action, goals should still be set. What if they are achieved?

2024 just passed, some people lament that they haven't done anything yet, while others have reaped a lot. If you want to "restart your life" in the new year and make your future self grateful for your present self, then you need to start from this moment: refuse to slack off and plan ahead. 2025 has just begun, and how you spend it is entirely up to you.

1.Health is wealth.

A former colleague posted on social media: "In 2024, the place I visited most often was the hospital. Whether it was flu, cold, or any other virus, I caught them all. Each time, it cost me not only physical discomfort but also enough money to travel to hospital several times. So, taking care of your health is the top priority for 2025."

Many people reach middle age with little money and lots of health problems. Recently, I heard some heartbreaking news.

A cancer patient posted on online: "Hey guys, I finally found freedom." B majored in broadcasting in college but loved traveling and even obtained a tour guide license. In March 2018, she found a job at a travel agency in Shanghai. However, in July, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She spent the next five years fighting cancer. The family spent a lot of money on her treatment, borrowing from all their relatives. Her father even donated his bone marrow twice. In order to provide better nutrition for his daughter, her father, who couldn't cook at all, became a great cook. Finally, B's condition worsened, and despite efforts to save her, she left her parents who loved her the most.

Tomorrow and accidents, we really don't know which will come first.

All we can do is take care of ourselves while we are still healthy.

2.Beyond physical health, another important aspect is to strive to earn money.

Regardless of one's financial situation last year, in the new year, one must strive to earn money. The primary source is to excel in your main job. Recently, I chatted with a friend named Q who had recently received a promotion and a raise. She shared her experience: "There is no other way but to excel in your profession." Q was originally just a copywriter. Because she enjoyed writing and creativity, she joined her current company. At first, her copywriting didn't grab attention and she was often scolded by her superiors. But Q was tenacious. She kept studying excellent cases and summarizing the logic of successful planning cases. As a result, the number of revisions to her proposals decreased, and the number of compliments from clients increased. Finally, her efforts paid off. At the end of the year, she received a 30% increase in salary.

For most ordinary people, increasing income through their main job is still the main source. It can serve as a safety net and maintain the baseline of income. At the very least, it can rely on one's "irreplaceability" to avoid being laid off when the environment is not good. In addition, doing well in side jobs is equally important. If promotion and salary increases are difficult in middle age, then engaging in side jobs can also be a way to increase income.

3.Dealing with relationships around you: Learn to release love and also learn to let go.

Harvard conducted a 75-year study tracking 724 men and concluded that true happiness is actually a mindset that comes from within. A portion of this mindset comes from achieving self-worth, while another part comes from healthy relationships with others.

A netizen, Moon, shared a story about her aunt who was unhappy for a period of time. In her aunt's own words, she was a "woman with a tough life." As a wife, her husband often worked overtime and didn't come home. When she wanted to talk to him, he was not available, and when they did meet, they often argued.

As a mother, her son also avoided her, locking himself in his room whenever he was home, with very little communication between them. However, according to her husband and son, the situation was completely different: her husband didn't like coming home because every time he did, his wife would either nitpick at him or complain, emitting negative energy. And her son didn't like to communicate with her because his mother was not gentle and often used a serious tone to criticize him.

Later, the aunt met a family therapist. After explaining the situation at home, the therapist offered her some advice: "The reason for the coldness between family members is because they don't feel loved. As a woman in the family, you should be the lubricant. From today onwards, learn to release love to those around you. Start with praising your husband and caring for your children."

After listening to the therapist's advice, the aunt went home and actively shared interesting things that happened during the day with her husband and gently called her son to dinner in the evening. After some time, she noticed a change in the atmosphere at home. Her husband started coming home more often, and her son enjoyed talking to her. Relationships between people are dynamic. If you act rigidly, you will receive indifference, but if you give warmth, you will receive love. And when we start to change, the relationships around us will change too.

There was a post about a friend who always poured cold water on her. She distanced herself from this friend. Much later, when asked why she no longer contacted her, she said, "I can't change her personality, so I had to change the relationship between us." There's a saying I agree with: "The secret to happiness is to place yourself in healthy relationships."

In 2025, try to assess the relationships around you. Cherish those who care about you, and bravely distance yourself from those who make you unhappy.

4.Never stop reading, traveling, and exercising.

"A person not only has this life but also should have a poetic world." Beyond material life, we also need to enrich our spirits. In doing so, boredom becomes interesting.

Reading and traveling are the best choices for enriching the spirit. Reading is a journey of the mind, and traveling is reading for the body. A friend named C always seems full of energy, and someone asked her for the secret to her zest for life. She said, "There's no other reason than having an escape route." While at work, she feels drained and frustrated like everyone else, but when the weekend comes, she either stays at home and reads all morning or flies to another city for the weekend. Just the thought of going to see the snowy mountains sweeps away her worries.

Every time she returns from a trip, the energy she brings back is enough to sustain her for a long time.

And if you really can't find a hobby, why not try exercising?

V is a running enthusiast who once shared his experience in a book. In 2005, he was diagnosed with diabetes. The doctor told him, "Diabetes is incurable. You need to take medication for the rest of your life or rely on insulin." After hearing this news, he became depressed and even developed depression.

At the lowest point, a friend advised him to go out, take a walk, run, and breathe fresh air. With a try-it-out attitude, V insisted on going to the nearby park for a few steps every day. After six months, not only did his weight decrease, but he also no longer needed to take medication. He himself exclaimed: Running completely changed my life.

If you feel that your life is a mess right now, consider sticking to exercise for a while. Even if it doesn't solve all your problems, at least it can change your mental state.

"There are three things in life that cannot be saved. The first is reading, the second is traveling, and the third is exercising." I strongly agree with this. Besides work, one should always have something to rely on spiritually, even if it's just something small like running.

In 2025, in addition to working hard, make sure to enrich your spirit. It could be learning a new skill or cultivating a hobby. Both the body and the soul should be on the move. Life can indeed be designed. No matter what hand you were dealt initially, without planning, life is like a pile of sand. But with clear plans and specific actions, life can be aggregated into a tower, allowing you to go further.

In the new year, if you want to restart your life and change yourself, you must adhere to self-discipline and never be lazy or give up. Keep healthy. Physical health is paramount. Even if other goals are not achieved, being healthy and free from illness, with all health indicators in order, is already commendable.

Work hard and earn money. Whenever possible, maintain your ability to work and earn money. This is the capital for adults to settle down.

Handle relationships with those around you. Learn to love others and let yourself be loved, placing yourself in healthy relationships and staying away from relationships that drain you.

Enrich yourself. If you have no money, read more; if you have money, travel more. Not only can this broaden your horizons, but it can also enrich your soul.

"A day's labor is a day's wage; persistence brings success."

The process of transformation may be difficult, but the fruits will be sweet.

What are your goals or plans for 2025? Feel free to share them in the comments, and next year on this day, we'll check back together.

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