The Middle Ages: Unlocking Life's Most Magnificent Chapter

Middle age usually refers to the midpoint in a person's life, roughly between 35 and 55 years old. This stage is often a period of experiencing various changes and challenges in both career and personal life. Some people consider middle age as the golden period of life because individuals might have established a career; possess some economic stability and family life, while also maintaining a certain level of energy and ambitions.

During the middle age phase, individuals might have more experience and wisdom, with more resources and opportunities to pursue personal goals. However, some responsibilities and pressures may increase, particularly from family, career, and financial aspects.

While some might feel content and balanced due to the maturity and stability of this phase, it's not the case for everyone. Each person's feelings and experiences of middle age vary due to the diversity of individual life circumstances and experiences.

During middle age, some individuals might re-evaluate their life goals and values, potentially reconfiguring their path, seeking more meaning and fulfilment. This period can also be a crucial stage for personal growth and development, prompting positive changes in their mental and physical health and lifestyle.

Reasonableness and understanding

Individuals likely have learned much from life and career experiences, leading to emotional and intellectual maturity. This maturity helps them better cope with daily life challenges and more rationally handle conflicts and issues.

During middle age, people generally comprehend and respect the feelings of others more, feeling a heightened sense of responsibility, considering family and society more. Their actions are more measured and deliberate to ensure their decisions and actions align with logic and reason. This trait of reasonableness makes them more adept at communicating, negotiating, and problem-solving in social and interpersonal relationships.

Moreover, middle-aged individuals might have more control and understanding of their emotions and feelings, aiding them in better balancing the various emotional challenges in life. This balanced approach of rationality and emotions typically helps maintain a stable and mature role within both work and family life.

Improve Skills

Middle age is often seen as a crucial stage in life, where people seek balance and strive to deal with various challenges. During this phase, individuals may have more responsibilities, including work, family, and social relationships. Improving skills can involve continually learning new skills, enhancing professional knowledge, and improving skill levels to adapt to the ever-changing environment. This may include expanding knowledge through educational courses, work experiences, and self-directed learning to enhance performance in the workplace.

In middle age, individuals might realize the need to continuously adapt to new technologies, trends, and changing workplace requirements. This indicates the necessity for lifelong learning and constant skill improvement to adapt to the evolving social and professional environment. Through ongoing learning and the development of new skills, an individual can attain greater success in their career. This might involve professional development, lifelong learning, and exploring new fields. Skill enhancement can provide better job opportunities, increase work efficiency, and improve job satisfaction. Additionally, it better prepares individuals to meet the rapidly changing demands of the workplace.

Moreover, improving skills also aids in personal development. It enhances confidence and helps to better understand personal interests and goals. Through continuous learning, an individual can develop their hobbies, improve social abilities, enhance creativity, and prepare for future challenges.

Overall, improving skills is a positive life attitude and a crucial approach to improving abilities in middle age to cope with life's challenges and changes. It also bestows greater confidence upon middle-aged individuals, enabling them to better navigate their career challenges and remain competitive in a fiercely competitive market.

Emotional Control

Emotional control is particularly critical during middle age. This phase might face challenges from career, family, and personal pressures, hence achieving emotional balance and management becomes vital. Managing emotions not only helps to handle stress but also enhances personal mental health and the quality of life for those around us.

Emotional management involves learning to recognize one's emotions and employing positive ways to deal with them. This might include seeking professional help, learning relaxation techniques, or using exercise to relieve stress. Developing positive emotional management skills can heighten self-awareness, promote inner calmness, improve relationships, and assist in better handling challenges and stress.

During middle age, emotional management also fortifies family relationships. Dealing with various pressures in the family, knowing how to control emotions can improve communication with partners and children, uplifting the overall family atmosphere.

Whether facing career challenges, family stress, or personal growth needs, more emotional intelligence is required. Emotional stability and handling methods become vital during this phase.

Emotional control entails understanding one's emotions, managing emotional fluctuations, and not allowing emotions to influence one when facing challenges. The key components include:

1. Emotion Recognition: Identifying emotions is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Understanding what emotions are and recognizing the situations that trigger specific emotions is crucial.
2. Emotional Management: Learning not to let negative emotions control oneself; this can be achieved through practices like meditation, relaxation, physical exercise, etc., to adjust one's emotional state.
3. Self-Control: Rational thinking is more important than emotional decisions in controlling emotions. Managing impulses and emotional outbursts is vital for maintaining calmness and rationality.
4. Communication Skills: Expressing one's emotions through effective communication while learning to listen and understand others' emotions.
5. Stress Management: Acquiring the skills to handle stress and finding suitable ways to de-stress, such as physical exercise, music, art, or engaging with family and friends.
6. Positive Mindset: Cultivating a positive way of thinking is crucial when facing challenges as it assists in approaching problems with greater optimism.
7. Professional Help: Seeking professional psychological counselling might be a beneficial choice when emotions are challenging to control or emotional issues arise.

Mastering emotional control requires continuous practice and self-reflection. Not only does it improve life quality, but it also enhances the performance of middle-aged individuals in their work, family, and social relationships.

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Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

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Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

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Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

2. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

3. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

4. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.

About Work:

5. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
6. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
7. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
8. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

9. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
10. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

11. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

12. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

13. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
14. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
15. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

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Truth or Tact at work

There exists a group of individuals in life who exhibit tremendous patience, obedience, yet seldom receive the fitting benefits. These individuals endure unfair treatment, refrain from refusing others' requests, and fail to actively seek their rights. Despite their efforts, they frequently find themselves unrewarded and eventually trapped in a dilemma of "the more honest you are, the more vulnerable you become." Everyone is striving at work, hoping for corresponding rewards. However, any job is far from being simple, and around 80% of life's pain usually originates from work. If you've recently felt unhappy due to work, perhaps consider changing your mindset and tell yourself: It's just work; there's no need to be too honest.

Work should be diligent and hardworking, but maintaining a student-like mindset is unnecessary.

"Because you're too obedient, sometimes what leaders fear is an overly obedient employee." This is a typical student mindset. Employees merely respond with "okay, okay, okay" and never proactively provide opinions or suggestions. Even when assigned a task, they merely address the specified points without further contemplation, akin to students fulfilling assignments by rote and command.

Nevertheless, the workplace is not like an exam, especially not a closed-book exam, and hence there's no fixed standard answer. Even if the leader raises questions, experienced professionals in the workplace often broadly seek help to provide appropriate solutions.

There's a little story about a boy attempting to lift a huge stone; his father encouraged him, saying, "As long as you put in all your effort, I believe you can lift it." The boy tried with all his strength, but the stone remained unmoved, and then he said, "I have given my all." His father responded, "You haven't given it your all; I've been here beside you, and you haven't sought help. Giving your all doesn't just mean using all your strength but also utilizing all the resources available to solve the current difficulty."

Many professionals in the workplace, like the boy lifting the stone, toil away diligently but fail to seek help. Perhaps they haven't realized they can seek help, or maybe they are unwilling to trouble others. In reality, solving any complex issue is a result of seeking assistance from various quarters.

"Social wealth is not allocated; it requires active acquisition by people." Learning to harness external support is also a skill, as an individual's solo efforts can't compare with collaborative group efforts.

Be careful not to compromise too much in everything; this behaviour may derail you at work.

Let me share a story of a former colleague. One day, he suddenly confided in me that he was dismissed from the company, which left me extremely surprised. He was a diligent and honest person, always willingly putting in extra hours at work without complaints. Colleagues often sought his help, and he never refused, always ready to be of service. Although he was terribly worn out, he never found the courage to express his dissatisfaction. He thought that his leaders would appreciate these efforts, but he never expected that despite all he did, he was eventually laid off, citing business restructuring and poor output. Before leaving, he said to me, "In the workplace, don't get too emotionally invested, or you'll end up like me." I felt sorry for him, but I suddenly understood the harsh reality of the workplace. The workplace does not favour those who are excessively honest. Many times, your troubles and grievances come from your 'I'm sorry' attitude. Such toil without accomplishment is ultimately seen as in vain. Leaders focus on results, hence dealing with matters effectively is key. Being truly responsible at work doesn't mean doing everything; it's about achieving significant success in the most crucial matters. Just like Warren Buffet's "5/25 Rule": Retain the top 5 important things and avoid doing the remaining 20 that are easily distracting, to achieve success. Less is more; knowing how to refuse is wisdom in the workplace. Excessive compromise in everything may lead you to lose yourself on the path of life. Life is short; don't let 'I'm sorry' ruin your life.

Learn to avoid self-consumption; that's the way out for honest people.

I once saw an article: A couple riding a donkey, and someone commented: 'these two are cruel, both riding on the donkey.' The wife got off, the husband rode, and the bystander said: 'The man is really selfish, making his wife walk.' So, the husband also rode the donkey, and the wife walked. But then someone speculated: 'The man is afraid of his wife, right?'

Finally, both had to walk alongside the donkey, and someone jeered: 'These two are so silly; they don't even ride the donkey!' This story is like a joke, and after reading it, you might laugh and think, 'How could people be so silly?' However, we often fall into the same trap in life, trying to please everyone.

Honest people are prone to excessive concern over these evaluations, affecting their emotions, resulting in inner turmoil. For instance, if the boss gets upset, you repeatedly replay the situation, guessing if you offended them; or when you send a message to a colleague and don't get a reply, you repeatedly think whether you said something wrong and became annoying; or feeling upset because you can't find a common topic with a colleague...

All these mental activities are actually unnecessary and should not exist. We can never please everyone. If we always measure ourselves against others' standards, we won't find the right path. To live a more relaxed life, cultivate a mindset that resists self-consumption and maintains inner stability. Though praise from others is good, excessive attention to criticism is unnecessary.

The 5 “balls” of life

Each of us juggles five "balls" in our lives: family, work, health, friends, and the soul. Among these five "balls," only work is made of rubber, it can be damaged and still bounce back. The other four "balls" are made of glass, once broken, they cannot be restored. If we make work the sole meaning of life, not only will it be dull, but it will also be futile.

It is because work is just a part of life, not all of it. Those who focus too much on work might lose some joy.

Remember, the purpose of work is to support life, not to burden it. Work is just a role; don't take it too seriously."

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The Power of Mindset in Shaping Destiny

Adler’s theory is that "A person's life isn't entirely determined by fate and past traumas but lies in one's own mindset." Life can be compared to a mirror, reflecting the various ways of thinking in each individual. A good way of thinking is akin to having wings, enabling one to soar higher, while a negative mindset is like a quagmire, leading one deeper into despair. Those burdened by negative thinking often fail to realize this and simply complain about their bad luck. If you possess the following three types of thinking, you should be particularly cautious: they restrict your vision, growth, and depth, acting as stumbling blocks on the path of life and must be avoided.

Tunnel Vision

There's a psychological theory known as the "tunnel vision effect," which describes a situation where an individual is confined within a narrow tunnel and can only see an extremely limited view. It's like being in a valley where your observations are quite narrow. To get a broader view, you have to be at the peak of a mountain.

Tunnel vision thinking limits the breadth of one's thoughts, restricting the potential for success. This kind of thinking makes success difficult even with maximum effort.

For instance, consider a story about a woman in her forties who works as a delivery person. She grew up in a financially tight situation and went to work straight after completing high school. Despite years of societal struggle, she always harboured the dream of going to college. However, she was unable to pursue her studies due to financial pressures and family responsibilities.

To achieve her career goals, she devised a rule: eight hours for survival, eight hours for development. Every day, she worked hard for eight hours delivering food, using the remaining time to learn new skills, such as creating short videos, reading, and playing the guitar. One of her videos gained numerous likes, unexpectedly generating extra income. The food delivery platform noticed her dream of attending college and offered her a chance to study for free.

However, if she only focused on immediate profits by delivering a few more orders every day, she might have earned more money. But compared to the opportunity for free college and limitless future prospects, those additional earnings were inconsequential.

"Life doesn't become narrow due to lack of intelligence but from insufficient experience and overly narrow vision." Limited thinking prevents individuals from seeing the long-term impacts and changes in things, causing them to miss opportunities and drift with the tide.

Only by breaking free from narrow thinking patterns, broadening horizons, and embracing unknown challenges can one enrich the breadth of their life.

Flea

Scientists conducted an experiment where fleas were placed in a glass jar. Initially, there was no lid, and the fleas could jump freely and quite high. However, when a lid was placed on top, the fleas kept jumping within the jar but couldn't escape. Even after the lid was removed, the fleas didn't jump as high as before, hardly exceeding the height of the previous lid.

This experiment metaphorically mirrors human circumstances. Many failures stem from self-imposed limitations, hindering the attainment of higher achievements. Those controlled by "flea thinking" are often confined by narrow-mindedness and start doubting and negating themselves when faced with difficulties. Fear of failure exacerbates further failure.

The story of a female security guard is inspirational. Jane, in her fifties, worked as a security guard at an elementary school. A modelling teacher awakened her long-lost dream of becoming a model. Despite Jane's hesitation due to her age, she started learning modelling from scratch. Internal doubts lingered: "Can I really do this?" Encouragement from her daughter gave her the courage to begin her modelling journey. After work, she diligently practiced her posture for several years.

During this time, she won many awards and gradually became more confident. Her success story illustrates that without trying and taking risks, one cannot discover their potential or embark on the path to success.

"The whole of life is an adventure. Those who go the farthest are often those willing to take risks." Kick away those stumbling blocks, don't limit yourself. When you feel "I can't do it," tell yourself "try again," you might discover a different height in life.

"Ignorance is the obstacle to success, and its severity is beyond what we can imagine." Being complacent, not seeking advancement, and being subject to manipulation are all indications of ignorance. These limit vision, stifle talent, and constrain limitless future possibilities. The stage size depends on the breadth of one's mind. To break through life's obstacles, one must shatter the shackles of limited thinking.

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Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Every bad relationship carries a part of your responsibility because we inadvertently teach others how to treat us." Excessive humility and accommodation can lead to further bullying, while excessive dedication only brings about others' contempt. The way others treat you is influenced by what you permit. Hence, always remember; never help others bully you.

Without your consent, no one can hurt you.

In the world of adults, there exists a cruel rule of interaction: the more conscious you are about pleasing others, the more likely you are to be looked down upon.

Accepting boundless giving doesn't create harmonious relationships; it leads to increasing feelings of oppression. I have a friend who's seen as a do-gooder by colleagues and friends. During work hours, he helps colleagues with deliveries or buys them drinks. On weekends, whenever friends need to work overtime, he never hesitates to help. Regardless of whether the help needed is within his capability, he never refuses. However, even though he's incredibly busy, he doesn't receive the respect and gratitude he deserves. His friends' demands keep increasing, and when he can't fulfil them, they mock and belittle him.

If we consistently don't refuse, perhaps we don't hurt others, but we hurt ourselves. No one in this world can hurt you unless you first agree to their hurt. If you base your worth on the recognition of others, they will use this recognition to exploit you. If you always maintain a good temper, others will insult you repeatedly. People who genuinely like you appreciate your independence and assertiveness, not your subservience or eagerness to please others. To let your life shine, you must retain your own sharpness.

How You Treat Yourself is How Others Will Treat You

Not long ago, a friend complained to me that after several years of marriage, she transformed from a young and beautiful girl into a "desperate housewife." To care for her child, she had to quit her beloved job and save every penny for household expenses. However, her husband seemed oblivious to her efforts and, during an argument, resorted to calling her a "haggard old woman" and a "useless housewife."

Looking dejected, my friend asked me why such words were said. I glanced at her dishevelled hair, pale face, and worn-out T-shirt, shaking my head in response: "If you don't love yourself, no one is obliged to love you." The way people treat you is what you allow.

Blindly giving will only increase the chance of being unappreciated. As an adult, she selflessly cared for the family to enable her husband's career, but she never had a life or social connections of her own. Her long and diligent sacrifices never led to the love she anticipated.

"If you can't love yourself, it's difficult to love others." When one's self-worth is based on serving others, they inevitably face disdain and apathy. Only when you focus on yourself will the world start to love you.

Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Don't fear offending someone due to a certain character; remember, no one can avoid annoying others. 90% of people, you can completely annoy them."

Too many relationships aren't worth your compromise. Only when you show your edge and boundaries can you put on strong armour for yourself.

Paz leads a life everyone admires. She handles work gracefully, her boyfriend is caring, and she has a close friend by her side. However, this seemingly perfect life behind the scenes is bitter and repressive.

Despite her diligence at work, her boss overlooks her efforts and promotes new employees. Her boyfriend boasts daily, always thinking about doing "great things" and relying on her for support. While she comforted her friend several times in distress, when she needed support, her friend remained indifferent to her feelings.

She always endured, taking care of others' emotions, yet in the end, nobody cared about her feelings.

Fed up with this meagre life, Paz decided she couldn't take it anymore. She angrily accused her boss of bias, scolded her boyfriend for being an "escapist parasite," and even snatched her friend's phone and threw it in the trash.

Although she resigned, broke up, and ended a friendship in a short time, she felt immensely relieved and comforted.

In the past, she was as gentle as a lamb, but when she showed her sharp claws, her world became clearer, and for the first time in over a decade, she slept soundly.

Saying "no" to things you don't like is self-care. Refuse unreasonable requests, maintain distance, and you won't deplete unnecessary social relationships.

Life is too short; you don't need to live in patterns set by others. Take responsibility for your feelings, shape the life you want. Every day is a new beginning when you no longer cater to others' needs.

There's a saying: "Adults' social relationships are tailor-made." Everything we experience is of our own making. The easier you are to deal with, the less people take you seriously; the more you stand your ground, the friendlier those around you become.

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This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

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You must work hard and persevere silently until you have achieved results

Before you produce any good grades, you must study, improve your abilities, and strengthen your skills. Everyone must work hard before they succeed. If you don't work hard, you will never get the affirmation and respect of others.

Others can just say that your work is wrong, and you have no ability to argue with others. But if you work hard to change silently, when you achieve certain results, even if what you say is wrong, others will think that what you said is right. Only when your professional level improves and your ability is affirmed by others, others will respect you and think you are a master. If you have no ability, everyone will look down on you, and you will not listen to what you say, and others will not listen to you, even if what you say is right, they will not listen to you. 

Achievements are the only reason to convince others. Only if you see your own problems, you can change to improve your abilities and make yourself stronger. It's a very simple truth. A successful person is surrounded by many people. Everyone will obey what he says and does. Even old people respect him. Similarly, when you have no grades or abilities, no one will take you seriously.

 

Before you have achieved results, don't tell others about your ability and strength, because if you have no ability, you have no achievements, and you simply don't have the ability to support you to argue with others, even if you are right. So before you have no achievement, only by doing things silently and doing things well, can you be affirmed and respected by others, and what you say has weight.

 

As a boss or as a leader or as a technical worker, you must have achievements in your profession and be able to do things well. If you can only talk, but has no actual action or ability, others will not obey you. Even if you are the leader, others will look down on you. Because they think that you don't have the ability but to rely on others to help you do it, and others will always respect the strong. Ordinary people like us work very hard and work very hard every day, but we have no achievement and no expertise. Only when you stand out and surpass others and are more professional than others, will you become the envy of others.

 

Maybe many people think that they are very capable but this is a wrong perception. Others don’t look at how strong you are but how much you have achieved. It is only when you have real materials and achievements, others will recognize you.

 

When you haven’t reached a certain height, don’t talk about your ideals with others, or talk about your own ideas. If you talk about it, others will only think it’s a joke. When you are incapable, you must learn to bow your head to study, improve yourself, and don't argue with others about right and wrong.

 

Learn to bow your head to study hard, improve yourself silently, don't be afraid of hard work, as long as you are willing to persevere, then one day you will amaze everyone!

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Be aware of your own weaknesses and strengths

Each of us must learn to look at our own shortcomings and strengths correctly. Everyone will have strengths and weaknesses, but we must look at our own strengths and weaknesses rationally from a correct perspective. Only by facing up to your own superiority can you change yourself and make yourself better.

If a person has shortcomings, if others point it out to you, you must learn to change. Many people are often unable to face up to their own shortcomings because they can't let go of their so-called face. If they compare their shortcomings with other people's advantages, of course they will lose.

A clumsy bird will always be last and be laughed at by other birds. Winter is coming, and all the birds are flying south. It thought that although it was clumsy, it could fly to the south first, so that it would never be ridiculed by others, and it didn't want to be the last one.

When it was ready, it flew to the south by itself, but it couldn't remember the direction to go to the south, and soon lost its way, so it had no choice but to fly back. When it returned, it found that other birds were gone.

It had no choice but to continue flying to the south alone, and lost its way while flying. It didn't know what to do. Eventually winter came, it was frozen to death on the road.

It is not that the path of the clumsy bird flying first is suitable for everyone. Just like this bird, you must first look at the problem from a rational perspective and see your own shortcomings. When you are not able to change yourself, you must learn to let go and learn, ask others for advice. This little bird did not correctly analyze its ability because of its own ‘face’. When your ability cannot support your face, you must learn to let go of the so-called ‘face’ and learn. Only by being able to endure the ridicule of others and being able to bend and stretch can one become stronger.

There are many such stories in life. We see that many people always like to compare themselves with others. When others use their mobile phones well, they must have one. When others wear branded clothes, they must own one. When others drive cars, they must have one. They always feel that face is very important, but you have to see if you have the ability to compare with others. Others are rich people. Of course, you can choose what you like to buy.

We are just ordinary people, face is not that important.

We also have to learn to play to our strengths and change our own weaknesses, we cannot change some shortcomings, so we have to make up for them and cover them up with our strengths. For example, if we are stupid, we need to learn more. We can practice ten times or eight times what others know at one time. Not all successful people are smart people, and stupid people will become excellent through hard work. The premise is that if you want to see your own shortcomings, you must learn to work harder than others.

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14 workplace golden rules, which can effectively help you survive in the workplace better

1. There are only two types of people in the office, the protagonist and the secondary characters

In the workplace, if you want to live a relaxed life and don't want to climb up the ladder, you can only be a secondary character for your lifetime. The disadvantage of playing a secondary character is: you will die first without any credit. Considered first during layoffs. The current workplace is definitely not a place to raise lazy people. If you want to survive better than others, you have to be the protagonist and let others be the secondary character.

2. Everyone must have great ambitions, even if they want to destroy the world

Ambitiousness is the first condition to be a protagonist. In the workplace, if you don’t have a goal, you won’t be able to climb up the ladder aggressively, and in the end you can only become a secondary character and a victim of others. So whether you want to destroy the world or become the richest man, you must have ambitions and take this as your goal.

3. Don't be fooled by ideals, ideals are needed, but not others' ideals, but your own

When mentioning great ambitions, some people will think of corporate goals, corporate culture, and impassioned speeches from the boss. Forget about those, the boss's ideal is only the boss's, but in the workplace, you are independent. Keep a clear head and not be easily fooled. No matter what ideals others have, you must firmly remember your own ambitions, which is the foundation of your life.

4. If you really have no ambition, then fight for money

Everyone wants to retire, no one will want to work for others for life. So making money is the most important pursuit of people. A very dangerous situation in the workplace is that the boss uses ideals to win over people and wants people to work for nothing without money. But if you are really willing to work without money, then you are worthless. Since you are worthless, what is the need for existence? Money is the only thing that measures your worth. If you really do not have ideals, then strive to make money.

5. You may not be smart, but you cannot be careless

The workplace is the same, you can be not smart, but you can't be careless. People who are not smart are at most clumsy and do worse things. And in the workplace, it's not a great sin. But if you are not careful, you will violate the interests of others at any time, and commit the taboo of offending others in the workplace. Keep your mouth shut, don't talk about your colleagues when you can, and don't say bad things when you can say good things about people.

6. The boss will know everything you say. So think about what to say and what not to say

Don't expect your boss not to hear what you say in private. The boss knows everything, that's the truth. It's exactly the same in the workplace, as long as you're not talking to yourself, you have to worry about the person you're talking to getting word out. And experience tells us that every comment about the company will eventually reach the ears of the boss. So when you talk to anyone, think carefully about what to say and what not to say. Never say what you shouldn't say, and shut up what you don't want to say.

7. Playing stupid is always the least likely to make mistakes no matter when

When someone asks you to make decisions, no matter how you choose, it is wrong. Then pretending to be stupid is the best choice, which is the least error-prone way when you have no choice. Don't worry about being stupid, even if everyone sees that you're being stupid, they still can't do anything about you. Those who are really unlucky are those who have made decisions.

8. Thinking of yourself as the smartest person is often the stupidest

In the workplace, always thinking of yourself as the smartest person is always a secondary character. A truly smart person is one who can be a fool or shrewd as and when necessary.

9. You must have a backing, but what is more reliable than a backing is to make yourself valuable

Therefore, in the workplace, building a good relationship with your bosses is a must, and it is very important to find a good backing for yourself. And more importantly than that, make yourself worth enough that every boss has to win you over.

10. You belong to the boss, but the boss does not necessarily belong to you.

When a boss tells you that you belong to him, you must be clear in your heart that the boss is not yours. You are his and he is his. When your affairs conflict with the interests of your superiors, they will betray you without hesitation. Always remember that you are your own and only you can be responsible for yourself. Don't believe the boss's words of pretending to be close, it will be a trap at any time.

11. The boss says he is very reassuring about you, but the fact may be just the opposite

If the boss is really at ease with you, he doesn't need to mention it often. True trust is shown through actions. When the boss is willing to do things that hurt others and fight in the workplace with you, that is a manifestation of trust. But the boss verbally said that he is relieved with you, but he should be careful. It is very likely that you have done something to make the boss suspect that you are unfaithful.

12. Think about problems from the standpoint of the boss, and do things from the standpoint of oneself

When your boss trusts you and asks you to do something, you must have a ruler, and don't do everything stupidly. You have to think about the problem from the standpoint of the boss, understand why the boss does it, and what purpose it can achieve. Then make a decision based on your own position, some do it, some shirk it. Choose to do things that are in your own interests, and evade ideas that are not in your interests. Please use what you do to please your boss, and let your boss know that you have done your best by what you don't do.

13. There must be shortcomings

In the workplace, there must be flaws. A perfect person with no flaws will be hated and respected by others. If even your boss keeps you at arm's length, your career path will be in danger. So smart people will deliberately expose some shortcomings, especially innocuous ones, so that the boss thinks he can handle you, and that is the safest situation. But the shortcomings must not be fatal, but they cannot be your real weaknesses.

14. Everyone is on the side of evil, because everyone has their own good

Finally, a word about ideals. Everyone has their own ideals, and what is good for their own ideals is good, and what is not conducive to other people's ideals is evil. Because people have different positions and different needs. So in the eyes of others, you must stand on the side of evil. You are always your own good and others' evil.

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