The consequences of correcting others often result in both parties being hurt. We all dislike being forced. Even if we know the other person is right and has our best interests at heart, we also fear rejection. When others fail to appreciate our efforts, we feel hurt and aggrieved. Such situations constantly occur in our lives, causing us distress yet becoming accustomed to it.
Most people have a tendency to correct each other, especially among those closest to us. However, many of these "corrections" are entirely unnecessary for us.
No one likes to be persuaded.
Forcing others to act according to our will only exacerbates the
differences between us. When neither side can convince the other, logic and
facts become less important, and emotions ultimately prevail. This leads to the
escalation of problems, eventually rising from differences of opinion to moral
and personal attacks.
Why do people always want to correct others?
Yes, it is to prove that they are right.
There is a weakness in human nature: due to limited
attention, each person only notices what they want to pay attention to. This is
called "selective attention" in psychology, which limits our behavior
and cognitive patterns. Consequently, what we perceive as indisputable facts
are often just "partial facts." When we can stand in the other
person's shoes, we may realize that what they insist on, which we deemed
foolish, is actually not wrong.
Every individual has their own values and needs to defend them. Values are like a house where we reside and survive, allowing us to live with dignity and security. Forcing others to live according to our values is like inviting a fish to visit the land.
Even if the world on land is much more
exciting than the river, it's something the fish cannot withstand. They only
want to escape, seek help, protect themselves, and preserve their territory
where they feel safe. Respecting others' values allows them to maintain their
dignity and independence.
It's essential to understand the concept of a
"stable self" for personal growth and development. It refers to
having a stable sense of self-worth and not being changed by external denial or
questioning. When we have a stable sense of self-worth, we no longer need the
courage to control others. Others are no longer tools to maintain emotional
stability, and we gain emotional independence.
No one likes to be forced. Everyone wants to live life according to their own wishes. People detest being changed or coerced by external forces because they have their own values to defend. Therefore, the best way to change others and the world is to change ourselves.
Read Also:
Ghosted: The Ultimate Adult Rejection
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