Life experiences

1. Pay attention to those who are very good in dealing with others.

People who are good in dealing with others are all savvy individuals; they have high emotional intelligence, articulate well, and make you feel comfortable in their presence. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people.

When judging someone, don't just listen to what they say; observe their actions. Pay attention to details, feel with your heart, not just with your ears.

2. Make money as much as possible, save money diligently, money is very important.

No matter what your financial situation is, save money whenever possible. In this society, money is the most important shield for you and your family.

Nowadays, it feels like the weekend hasn't been spent if they haven't gone shopping, and it feels like they haven't gone shopping if they haven't bought anything. They feel wronged if they go shopping without having a cup of milk tea or a meal.

Save money in life, and there's no need to spend $6 on milk tea when $1 bottled water can do the job. Your savings are your lifeline.

3. Don't deliberately flatter others.

Those whom you flatter and fawn over, what real help can they offer you? Even if they do help you, sooner or later you'll have to repay them twofold. Moreover, why should they help you? The more you flatter others, the more others will flatter them, and the more incapable you'll appear.

Instead of trying to flatter others, spend that energy thinking about how to improve yourself.

4. Don't try to take shortcuts in anything.

For example, don't cheat on homework normally, don't think about cheating on exams, don't lie to deceive people; you are deceiving yourself.

Do you think you're deceiving the teacher by copying homework?

5. Things that make you suffer actually bring you happiness, and things that make you happy are often not real happiness.

Playing games and browsing on your phone are very comfortable, but that kind of short-term happiness often brings permanent pain.

Studying is painful, especially in the early stages. Stretching and running are painful. But these brief pains often bring long-term happiness.

6. It's never too late to start working hard.

It's never too late to start learning anything.

Many skills are usually acquired with just a few years of hard work. As long as you persist, regardless of what it is, you will gradually reap rewards.

7. Be calm and not judge others based on yourself.

Everyone's experiences are different, and their attitudes toward things are also different. You can disagree with someone's opinion, but don't question or oppose it. Don't try to impose your thoughts on others; it will only make you look foolish.

8. Don't prioritize interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are built on the circle you're in and are more determined by your abilities. If you have achieved nothing and have no value to offer, why should others help you? Only when you have the ability do you have the right to talk about interpersonal relationships.

9. Learning is a lifelong process, and reading is the lowest-cost, fastest way to grow.

Don't stop learning just because you're working. Many things can only be truly understood through practice. By learning while working, you will grow rapidly.

10. Stay away from trashy people.

If a dog bites you, would you bite the dog back?

If you encounter trashy people in life, endure a little grievance and leave as soon as possible. It's better to have one less thing to worry about.

11. Don't deliberately please others, and don't force yourself into circles you don't belong to.

Whether in school or after work, if you can't get along with classmates or colleagues, keep your distance. Focus on learning seriously and working diligently to enrich your life. You live for yourself, not to please others.

12. The more you talk, the less weight your words carry.

In daily life, except with friends, don't become a chatterbox when interacting with others. In this day and age, besides family and friends, no one has so much free time to listen to your nonsense.

13. Time will reveal true intentions.

People's hearts are unpredictable, and seeing someone's true intentions over time may not always be accurate. Communicate more, and you'll eventually see people's true intentions.

14.  Face is earned, not given by others.

When you feel that others don't respect you, don't get angry.

Others are not obliged to respect you. Whether or not you can earn others' respect depends on your abilities and character.

As the saying goes, face is earned, not given by others.

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Truly skilled individuals have already simplified their lives to the utmost

Minimalism is a form of wisdom, a choice in life that helps us cleanse our inner restlessness.

"Life is a continuous process of choosing and letting go. By letting go, we can unleash the maximum energy from our limited lives."

In our ignorant youth, we often pursue accumulation, constantly adding to our lives.

As we age and experience the ups and downs of life, we increasingly feel that the essence of happiness lies in simplicity.

When some people in life are exhausted by the noisy world, those who are truly skilled have already simplified their lives to a "minimalist" mode.

01 Less Comparison, Minimalist Desires

Do you experience the following situations:

You see others carrying designer bags while you can only afford mass market ones, feeling envious but powerless;

You see others' children excelling in both academics and character while yours are constantly criticized by teachers, feeling anxious but helpless;

You see others getting promoted and receiving raises every year while you remain stagnant, feeling increasingly fearful but clueless.

Desire is like quicksand—appropriate pursuit can provide endless motivation, but excessive desire born of comparison only leads to endless troubles.

A friend runs a small business, earning a considerable income at a young age, owning a house and a car, slightly ahead of peers.

But he is a person with high desires. Despite his achievements, he is never satisfied.

Due to work, he often attends industry events where he noticed his peers all drove luxury cars, exuding confidence. Compared to them, his car costing only half of them made him feel extremely inferior.

He felt conflicted and feared being looked down upon. So, he decided to take out a loan and buy a luxury car.

Since buying the luxury car, he has been under significant financial pressure every month. Although he feels a sense of prestige when driving it for social events, whenever the company's performance is not optimistic, he frequently suffers from anxiety and insomnia, finding no joy in owning the luxury car.

"Many of life's troubles stem from our blind comparison with others, forgetting to enjoy our own lives."

If we blindly lose ourselves in comparison, we will only exhaust ourselves.

In fact, true happiness in life always comes from comparing ourselves with who we were yesterday, not with others.

The more we compare, the more desires we have, and we may end up controlled by those desires, ultimately reaping what we sow.

Those truly skilled individuals have learned to subtract desires early and stay true to their original intentions.

In life, only by learning to compare less can we live more relaxed lives and enjoy simple and happy lives.

02 Less Self-Conflict, Minimalism Thinking

Often, we cannot control external opinions, but if we cannot manage our own minds, constantly exhausting ourselves and being swayed by emotions, it will only lead to life's tragedies.

There is a lady in the neighborhood who owns a convenience store and enjoys making short videos in her spare time.

Although she is middle-aged, she remains graceful and charming.

In her videos, she showcases her elegance and eloquence, often bringing joy to others. In less than a month, she gained a large following.

At this time, many people started leaving negative comments on her videos, saying she's too old to act cute, her beauty filters make her overconfident, and she's just bored, having too much time to make these videos.

Seeing these comments, she remained silent for a while. When others thought she would give up, she decisively blocked some people.

Afterwards, she continued creating videos as before because they always brought joy and positivity. Her fanbase grew, and some fans even visited her store just to meet her.

There's a saying: "External voices are only references. If it doesn't make you happy, don't pay attention to it."

In life, many people are easily disturbed by external voices, causing self-conflict. Truly blocking out external disturbances means practicing mind minimalism.

Try the following three-step method:

1. When disturbed by negative external voices, the first reaction should be to recognize that one shouldn't be easily affected by negative energy and should simplify one's mindset;

2. When negative effects are noticed, one should immediately awaken to avoid being immersed in negativity and shift focus;

3. When thoughts begin to change, action should not be delayed. To divert attention, one can watch a TV show, movie, or go for a walk.

These three simple methods are actually avocating minimalism. It helps us isolate ourselves from the outside world, focus entirely on our inner world, avoid unnecessary negative interference, and focus on our goals for success.

"Since there is no escape, it's better to be joyful; since there is no pure land, it's better to calm down; since wishes may not come true, it's better to let go."

Those truly skilled in life can regulate their minds to some extent. It's not that they don't experience self-conflict; it's that they can minimize it in time.

In the journey of life, with sunshine and rain, only by broadening our minds, focusing more on ourselves, and consuming less energy on negative people and things, can we enjoy the beauty of life.

Less socialization, minimalist relationships

Have you heard this philosophical saying: "Every piece of wood can become a Buddha if unnecessary parts are removed."

Life is the same. Instead of entangling oneself in useless relationships, it's better to streamline beneficial relationships, enriching one's spirit and expanding one's cognition.

"Life is a journey, encountering all kinds of people. Not everyone should be invited into your life."

If a relationship drains too much of our energy, we must learn to cut losses in time. We shouldn't blindly please others or become others' dumping grounds.

Those truly skilled individuals, capable of living high-quality lives, do so by minimizing their social relationships.

In life, one must learn to subtract from one's social circle, spend less time on superficial connections, and more time with those worth socializing with, in order to live a positive and optimistic life.

"Minimalism is not having nothing but another form of possession. We're not abandoning ourselves or desires. We're acknowledging our needs and possessions."

Less comparison, minimalist desires, leads to contentment;

Less self-conflict, mind minimalism, leads to naturalness and tranquility;

Less socialization, minimalist relationships, leads to abundant and easy living.

In the years to come, may we all maintain a minimalist lifestyle amidst the complexities of the world, cultivate stronger selves, and embark on a more beautiful journey in life.

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You're the Masterpiece

Following someone else's footsteps, even if they're excellent, only means trailing behind them.

Those who appreciate themselves can find their own place and radiate a unique and dazzling light.

As the saying goes, what's sweet to one may be poison to another.

We spend our days envying others but forget a simple truth: what suits others' lives may not suit us.

In this world, everyone has a life laid out specifically for them. Insisting on following someone else's path results in nothing but birds and fish being misplaced.

You may have heard this: each person has their own way of living.

No matter how exquisite someone else's shoes are, they may not fit you; no matter how lively someone else's life seems, once you experience it firsthand, you might find it noisy.

Only a life that suits you can make you live freely.

A writer once said, "We all have farsighted eyes, always living in admiration of others."

Everyone's life has its hardships, everyone's pot has its residue. No matter who you are, coming into this world, there will be dissatisfaction.

If that's the case, why insist on living someone else's life?

Someone once said: the greatest foolishness humans commit is envying others while turning a blind eye to what they have.

In the time that can't be relived, it's better to walk your own path openly, see your own scenery, and live your own life.

When you let go of comparison, you'll find the scenery along the way a thousand times more beautiful than what you've seen before.

People who are fulfilled inside won't get lost in someone else's world. Because they themselves are already in the most beautiful scenery.

The most sober self-awareness is knowing your place. Not looking up to others, nor looking down on yourself. From beginning to end, calmly walk at your own pace.

Everyone has a unique landscape. Just as others can adorn your window, one day, you will adorn someone else's dreams.

So, instead of admiring others' excellence and comparing where you fall short, why not let go of distractions and enjoy your own beauty?

You may have heard this: you don't have to grow into a rose. If you like, you can be a jasmine, a chrysanthemum or even an unnamed little flower.

Living as yourself is the best gift to life.

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Wake up with Purpose

People often say, "Small things reveal character and details."

To truly understand someone, you don't need to experience major events; you can glean insights from various small details in everyday life.

Take, for example, the small act of rising early. Seemingly insignificant, it, to a certain extent, determines one's character and life.

Early risers, healthy bodies

Early risers have regular routines, consistent sleep patterns, and are often in good health.

Because rising early means going to bed early, avoiding staying up late, and not overexerting oneself, allowing for the restoration of energy and vitality.

With ample time in the morning, early risers can leisurely enjoy breakfast, care for their digestive system, and replenish nutrients.

Being well-fed and hydrated, they naturally have a healthy complexion, are mentally alert, physically robust, and live each day with vigor.

Early risers have a pleasant mood, enabling them to be proactive, exercise, boost immunity, and strengthen their physique.

Early risers, disciplined lives

"Those who can control their mornings can control their lives."

If a person can't even wake up early, being lazy and undisciplined, how can they lead a disciplined life?

With a reversed sleep schedule and caught in a vicious cycle, they'll lack the enthusiasm to do anything, leading a mundane existence.

On the contrary, those who can take the small act of rising early to the extreme will find their lives becoming increasingly disciplined.

Rising early allows for better time management and instills the power of discipline.

Early risers, positive attitudes

There's a saying, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

Those who sleep and rise early are energetic, have a balanced schedule, and maintain a positive and optimistic mindset.

Bathed in the morning light, they can better appreciate the happiness of the moment, infusing vitality into life.

Early risers can experience the joys of life, embrace the beauty of the ordinary, enjoy the richness of time, and always maintain a positive mindset.

Early risers, limitless futures

Good character, excellent habits, and strong willpower will never be defeated by the so-called fate."

The plan of the year lies in spring, and the plan of the day lies in the morning. Even those with humble beginnings can reshape their destinies by rising early.

The greatest benefit of rising early is seizing the initiative and priority in life.

Never underestimate the time gained by rising early. Even if it's only half an hour, persisting for 365 days will give you over 180 additional hours.

With this time, you can read more books, learn new skills, or commit to a fitness routine.

It's often said, "The time you rise determines your fate."

Because our lives are, in fact, the sum of countless habits.

May we all cultivate the habit of rising early, live each day well, and empower our own lives.

A healthy body allows one to be mentally alert, with the energy to organize manuscripts and engage in creative work.

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Bearing it all alone

There's a saying: "Getting used to it" is a poignant phrase that can replace all the unspoken words.

Whenever someone asks you, "How have you been lately?" You always instinctively reply, "Just the same, used to it."

Getting used to it is the bitterness that almost slips out but quietly retreats back; it's the vulnerability you want to lean on but have to conceal.

Many times, when we say we're used to it, it's not because we truly are, but because we have no other choice.

Some words, no matter how much you say them, those who don't care about you won't listen; some feelings, no matter how deeply you describe them, those who don't care won't empathize.

Gradually, we all learn to handle things ourselves, to swallow our own sorrows.

I know there are moments when you're really tired. Like when you come home after a day's work and still have a pile of chores to do; or when negative emotions have been suppressed for too long without release; or when you're facing various annoyances all alone.

You must have eagerly hoped that when you couldn't bear it anymore, someone would stand behind you and gently support you.

But as the saying goes: there's nothing that can't be endured. The standards that adults set for themselves are always about getting through it.

Of course, you know there are people in this world who love and care about you, but you can't bear to let them share your burdens.

Perhaps everyone has such thoughts at times.

If it's something joyful, I'm willing to share it with you right away. If it's something sad, I hope to bear it alone, I hope you never have to know.

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The grievances of adults, who understands?

I heard a particularly heart-wrenching statement: "We dare not fall ill, dare not slack off, and even dare not show emotions. We don't know at what point we started only dealing with problems. Coffee and alcohol have become our lifelines, while emotional outbursts have become luxuries."

Adults encounter many problems and challenges every day, and even if their bodies and minds ache, they push through the pain with time constraints.

A father, while unloading goods, accidentally fell from a truck over a meter high, got up and continued unloading. When he got home, he discovered a large bruise on his back but didn't mention it to his family;

A single mother, alone at home with her child, reheated the prepared meal multiple times, ate two meals, and stayed up all night when her child had a fever, afraid to sleep during the day for fear her child might wake up unattended;

A delivery driver, falsely reported by a customer, rushed to visit his sick mother after work and then had to pick up his daughter from school. To save time, he chose to drive against traffic. When stopped by traffic police, he broke down in tears.

The breakdown of adults is the accumulation of tiny despair, suppressed for a long time and suddenly erupting. The final trigger for the eruption is often something insignificant.

These trivial matters often seem exaggerated and melodramatic to others, and all grievances are reduced to a dismissive "Is it really that bad?"

On the road of life, everyone is a lonely traveler. There are countless scenes in the world, ups and downs of suffering, happiness, joy, and sorrow. Except for saving oneself, it is difficult for others to truly help.

Many times we need a brief pause button, give the pain some time, give ourselves a chance to breathe. In the quiet of the night, open up your heart and mend it yourself.

That's life, others only see the results, while you alone endure the process. Faced with life, we have no choice but to be strong and continue. The road can be looked back upon, but it cannot be walked back.

If you are experiencing grievances, I hope: you can persevere and bravely move forward. Those who are immune to all poisons have been covered in scars; those who can laugh at storms have been riddled with wounds. In the world of adults, while one side collapses, the other side heals.

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Thriving in Midlife: Unlocking Three Healing Words

As one reaches middle age, it's not just about taking care of one's body but also nurturing the inner self, living life to its fullest, so as not to have lived in vain.

The following three words are the most healing, embodying three kinds of life wisdom. Let's see how many you've achieved:

Stability

I once saw a video that went viral, showing a three or four-year-old girl trying to put the lunch her mother had just prepared into a bag. Unfortunately, the girl didn't hold it steadily, and the lunchbox spilled, scattering the food instantly.

Seeing the mess without knowing what had happened, the mother didn't get angry or scold the girl. Instead, she gently asked, "Did you accidentally spill Mommy's lunch?"

The little girl was a bit bewildered and responded tearfully.

The mother immediately hugged her daughter, comforting her, saying she was just asking if it was accidentally spilled.

After getting a reassuring answer from her daughter, the mother patiently advised her daughter to be more careful next time and to remember to ask for help.

Under the video, netizens praised the scene, envying the happiness of such a "fairy-tale family." Many also sighed that it's possible not to be scolded for breaking things.

For middle-aged women, what they fear the most is becoming a nagging complainer.

Complaining about not getting cared for despite the hard work, accusing of not getting returns for their efforts, having unstable emotions, hurting others and themselves more.

There's a term in psychology called "emotional cost," for example, if you accidentally oversleep for an hour today, and you fret about it for another hour, you've suddenly lost even more time.

People with unstable emotions and an unstable core are prone to irritability. They complain when faced with a setback or unnecessarily put pressure on themselves, ending up burdened beyond measure and greatly reducing their quality of life.

When angry, it's worth asking oneself, "Do I really need to be angry about this?" or "Is it necessary for me to be this angry?" This way, emotions can calm down quickly, and one can approach problems more rationally.

As you experience more, you'll understand that the greatest wisdom for middle-aged people lies in maintaining stable emotions at all times, after all, only by steadying oneself can everything else be stabilized.

Subtraction

The more one desires, the more one should learn to subtract.

Rather than being bogged down by distractions, it's better to employ subtractive thinking, eliminating spiritual burdens to achieve true freedom and happiness.

"Trimming down in life, actively letting go, is true self-love."

In the journey of life, if you desire too much, your baggage will only get heavier, making it difficult to move forward in the end.

In middle age, many things require one's attention, so learning to subtract from life becomes particularly important:

Reduce material desires and attachments to harvest inner richness;

Reduce feelings of inferiority and arrogance to remain truly calm and composed;

Reduce complaints and distractions in the mind to achieve happiness and peace.

Happiness means having freedom and choice, but more freedom and choice don't necessarily bring greater happiness. In fact, the more choices you have, the less happy you tend to be.

Therefore, the more one lets go, the richer one's inner life becomes.

Learning to simplify is a kindness to oneself and the most sophisticated way of living.

By letting go of desires, lowering expectations, reducing internal conflicts, one becomes lighter in body and mind, and one's steps naturally become swifter.

May you and I both be able to cut off negative emotions in time, abandon excessive material desires, break free from self-imposed limitations, and reduce the burdens on the journey ahead, embracing a life of ease and contentment.

Patience

Have you ever noticed that the more you rush to have something, the farther away it seems to be?

Because the more impatient you are, the more anxious your emotions become, and the easier it is to make hasty mistakes, often resulting in more harm than good.

Some people say, "A word commonly heard is 'fast,' but in fact, being too fast is the easiest way to make mistakes. Before embarking on a big task, you should first understand the situation and make reasonable judgments before taking action."

Haste makes waste, while patience leads to success. Often, it's the mindset that determines the outcome. If faced with urgency, the mindset should be calm and composed, and actions should be steady.

"Take it slow, and even slower. The things that must be dealt with immediately should be set aside for a while, perhaps then you'll achieve the desired results."

In middle age, you'll come to understand that many answers to life's questions can only be given by time, and being impatient is of no use.

When faced with difficulties, it might be worth giving yourself some time, taking things slowly, often revealing hidden opportunities.

As the saying goes, "Plan before acting." When encountering something, first devise a strategy, then take action. It may seem slow on the surface, but it's actually more efficient. By taking things slowly, you'll ultimately move faster.

In a person's initial reaction to a situation lies the knowledge, character, and cultivation accumulated throughout their growth.

Taking a step back allows one to view and contemplate from a distance, listening to the most authentic voice within. You'll understand what's important, what's not; what's necessary, what's superfluous.

There aren't many things in life that require immediate action or fierce competition. Many things need to simmer slowly to become truly flavorful.

May we all be able to give life gravity, find spiritual refuge, enjoy the passage of time, settle into the routines, calmly and contently being ourselves.

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A trait found in unlucky people

"Why do people talk less as they grow older?"

Some people say:

"Because they've suffered from speaking too much." When they were young, they were less guarded and tended to share everything about themselves.

But as they grow older, they realize:

The more they speak, the more mistakes they make.

It's better not to speak.

Others say:

"Because the more they know, the more cautious they become in speaking." When they were young, they loved to argue and persuade others.

But as they grow older, they realize they know too little and dare not speak much for fear of revealing their ignorance.

"A full bottle makes no sound, but a half bottle makes a noise."

Don't talk about your private affairs to outsiders.

I once heard a story that made me sigh.

A friend's company hired a new colleague named C, and my friend worked with her a few times.

She seemed capable, and her personality was quite gentle.

But C didn't last long before suddenly resigning.

"Recently, there have been rumors flying around the company about her, maybe she couldn't take it anymore."

And these rumors, surprisingly, originated from C herself.

Shortly after joining the company, she got along well with colleague A and confided her personal life to her:

She had been divorced before and was now remarried to a man 15 years older than her.

She didn't mean any harm, but listener A told others.

Perhaps her intention was just to gossip, without malice.

But as rumors go, they become more exaggerated.

"At such a young age, marrying an older man, she must be after his money."

"Maybe she divorced her ex-husband just for this older man."

The gossip became nastier and nastier.

Over time, not only did her colleagues gossip about C behind her back, but even the boss heard about it.

They even began to doubt her competence at work.

"C probably didn't know what she did wrong until she resigned."

Similar stories are not uncommon in our lives.

A netizen said:

"Sometimes when I feel wronged, I can't help but confide in someone, but immediately regret it.

It's like handing someone a weapon against yourself, burying a landmine for yourself."

Others say:

"Most of the time, by the time I realize I should keep quiet, I've already said it."

I once heard a saying:

You tell a secret to the wind, and it spreads throughout the forest.

Indeed, prevention is better than cure!

If you're also confused about what you can and cannot say,

here's a tip from me:

Whether it's about our family background, savings, marital status, children's development, family conflicts, health, career plans, etc., anything related to privacy or interests is best left unsaid.

Regardless of whether it's good or bad.

If you say you're doing well, financially secure, it's easy to provoke jealousy;

If you say you're doing poorly, you'll inevitably be looked down upon.

It's human nature to praise the higher and disparage the lower.

A netizen once said:

"There are many things I don't like about my parents.

But I would never say anything negative about them in front of others.

If others look down on my family, they will naturally look down on me too."

Trust is too precious to be given to just anyone.

If you're still unsure, remember this:

Don't say anything you're not sure you should say.

Shallow exchanges are the most taboo.

Don't casually criticize others.

Shutting up is not only a matter of cultivation but also kindness.

Besides not judging others' lives at will,

there's another thing you absolutely shouldn't say:

Other people's rights and wrongs.

Regardless of whether it concerns you.

Before, there was an intern at our company who was obedient and clever.

But her supervisor had a fiery temper.

Whenever the intern didn't do her job well, she would give her a good scolding without mercy.

Once, when the company had dinner together,

Everyone comforted the intern, saying her supervisor had a bad temper, and she shouldn't take it to heart.

Even though the supervisor wasn't present at the time, the girl didn't show any dissatisfaction, just saying:

"I do have many shortcomings, so the supervisor criticizes me."

This sentence greatly increased everyone's favorability towards the girl.

They felt she was humble and could endure.

So shortly after, they helped her secure better job opportunities, and her salary doubled.

Speaking, perhaps, requires ability; but not speaking requires even more wisdom.

Keeping your mouth shut is not just a matter of refinement but also a form of kindness.

Often, people have different opinions simply because their standpoints are different.

It's not about right or wrong.

Do you really need to argue to win?

It's unnecessary.

We all have different perceptions.

Perceptions are influenced by our complex life experiences.

People can only believe what they've seen and experienced.

Upon careful consideration, when we insist on winning the argument, there's often an underlying message:

"I want to prove that I'm better than you."

But because the other party is "unrepentant," we can never "win," and this frustrates us.

Why bother?

To save face for a moment, we waste a lot of time and emotions.

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Grown-Up Goodbyes

01

Early this year, I bumped into some elementary school classmates during a wedding. We hadn't really kept in touch since graduating, so suddenly seeing each other, we barely remembered how we looked as kids, and we couldn't even recall each other's names. After exchanging a few words, we had to find some topics to chat about. Despite trying to reminisce about our limited shared memories from the past, we exchanged contacts, saying we should keep in touch more often. After lunch, I made an excuse to leave. In the evening, he messaged me, saying he and a few other elementary school classmates were going to have tea. My instinctive reaction was to decline. We hadn't seen each other for many years, and suddenly being together again, we were unfamiliar with each other. Going there would only lead to awkwardness, so I thought it was better to refuse outright and be honest about it.

02

Friendships require shared experiences to sustain them.

The more we work, the fewer friends we have around us. Even those friendships that were once good tend to fade away without shared experiences. I've never believed in friendships lasting forever. Even if separated by mountains and seas, we can still miss and cherish each other only if there are shared experiences. Friends need shared experiences to sustain them. Have you ever felt this way? If you haven't seen a friend for many years and suddenly meet, do you expect to hug each other with tears in your eyes? It's not the case. Instead, there's just awkwardness. Even when chatting, it's still about past shared experiences, digging into the memories to fill the emptiness and awkwardness of the present. You may think the relationship has changed, but it hasn't. It's just that you lack shared experiences and no longer spend as much time together as before. Therefore, true friends need to stay in touch regularly. The farther apart you are, the weaker the relationship becomes.

03

One day, I suddenly remembered a good friend from high school. We were classmates in high school, but we rarely kept in touch after graduation. We reconnected and met up twice. Then, we lost touch again. That day, I suddenly thought of him and wanted to see how he was doing, so I found him on social media. After exchanging greetings and asking about each other's situation, there was silence. We had to deliberately find some topics to talk about. We talked about our high school classmates who were close to us. As we talked, I felt bored. It seemed that we didn't have much to talk about, and it felt awkward to chat. The more we tried to find topics, the more awkward it became. At that moment, I knew we couldn't go back to how we were before. We couldn't talk to each other about everything like we used to. So, after one last boring conversation, I ended the chat myself. I knew I wouldn't initiate contact with him again because we had nothing to talk about, and chatting felt awkward and boring. Did we have a falling out? No, we were both polite and exchanged greetings, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Between friends, there's no need for politeness and formality; the more polite you are, the more distant you seem.

04

Friendships tend to diminish as adults.

As we work, we make many acquaintances in the workplace, add many people on social media, and become close to many people, eating and going out together. However, suddenly, one day, we bid each other farewell and never contact each other again. Adult friendships are either based on emotions or interests. Emotional bonds are considered a luxury for people in the workplace. It's difficult for us to make friends in the workplace. Even if you work and eat together every day, and even go shopping hand in hand, these relationships only last during working hours. After work, everyone goes their separate ways. Friendship in the workplace is best left undisturbed, as this is the greatest form of respect. Such friendships only last until the day you leave your job, and afterwards, everyone goes their separate ways, forgetting each other in the hustle and bustle of life. Most people's friendships are formed during their school years. After all, when we're young, we prioritize emotions, but as adults, we prioritize interests. Without shared interests, it's difficult for adults to make friends. After all, everyone is busy, and if there's nothing to do, there's no need to meet up.

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Reclaim Your Evenings

Some people choose to watch videos, read the news, or catch up on entertainment gossip to relax after work. Others opt for exercise to alleviate the accumulated stress from the day. There are also those who indulge in a hearty meal and share their work woes with friends.

If you are a working parent, the after-work golden three hours are divided into two parts: one for the child and the other for themselves. Squeezing out some time from the busy schedule to improve oneself is crucial. Only by doing so can we bridge the gap between individuals. Year after year, why not make a resolution to change oneself within a year? Time will surely provide the answers.

Don't treat your life with indifference, as we are all aging with each passing moment. Life is what you make of it. Daydreaming and idleness each consume a day, but engaging in activities that yield results is more fulfilling. Therefore, ladies, let's not settle for mediocrity. Let's strive for self-improvement and seize control of our lives.

1. Reading

The golden hours after work are perfect for expanding knowledge. There are many ways to relax and unwind:

a. Read a book: Enjoy the experience of reading instead of treating it like a task. Immerse yourself in a good book to truly appreciate it.

b. Watch high-quality documentaries: Documentaries offer a real glimpse into the world, broadening our horizons and helping us find answers in this era of information overload.

c. Watch debates: Observing debates challenges our critical thinking skills and encourages us to view the world from multiple perspectives.

d. Watch highly-rated movies: Emotional peaks in movies often inspire creativity. They allow us to experience emotions we may not encounter in our daily lives and help us express ourselves through writing.

e. Attend online lectures: Continuing education through online lectures can broaden our horizons, especially practical courses that offer valuable skills.

2. Organizing Files

Take time to organize files on your computer and mobile devices. Categorizing them makes it easier to find what you need and frees up memory space. Cultivate the habit of organizing to improve work efficiency and avoid minor annoyances like slow devices or lost files.

3. Exercise

Engage in physical activity before dinner to stimulate your appetite and alleviate work-related stress. After a long day at the office, outdoor activities help relax and recalibrate your state of mind.

4. Pursue Hobbies

Whether it's programming, writing, photography, or painting, indulge in hobbies that interest you. Pursuing hobbies makes mundane days more enjoyable and enriches your life with valuable skills and experiences.

5. Complete Unfinished Tasks

Each day brings its own set of plans. Utilize the three hours after work to accomplish tasks outside of work responsibilities. As a writing enthusiast, I capture inspiration whenever it strikes and use this time to organize my thoughts and write articles. Focusing on work during work hours ensures that after-work time is fully devoted to personal pursuits.

In the end, life is what you make of it. Whether you choose to remain complacent or push yourself to strive for more, the choice is yours. Destiny lies in your hands—whether to hold on tight or let go is entirely up to you.

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The Best Version of Oneself

01

During a stroll, a cat encountered a snail slowly climbing up the wall.

The cat was very curious and approached to see if this snail felt that life was both long and meaningless, thus wanting to end it in such a gruesome way.

A snail, carrying its heavy shell, climbing on a steep wall, about two meters above the ground. If it fell, its shell would likely break, causing injury, possibly leading to its demise.

But it seemed unaware of this danger, still moving slowly. The cat asked the snail, "This is too risky, come down quickly, you'll get hurt. The sky is not a place you can touch, the ground is your habitat."

The snail moved its antennae and casually said, "What is a place I shouldn't go, and what is a place I should go? We are meeting for the first time, you are not familiar with my past, how can you define my future?"

The cat said, "Sorry, I'm just worried about you."

The snail continued, "Thank you for your concern. I will be responsible for my own choices. You go your way without stopping, and I'll endure my rain. Although it's cold at the top, I can see many views that are not usually seen. I'm prepared to be hurt, no matter what, this life must do something for oneself. Although the road ahead is difficult, almost impossible to others, I won't be shaken by their words. Some things need to be done by someone. Step by step, I can reach the end."

The cat didn't know the meaning of such perseverance. While contemplating, the snail moved a bit closer to the roof.

Everyone has their own path to take. How can you determine someone else's ending based on your experiences? There are always those who break barriers, those who sacrifice for their ideals. Don't attach the label of "I'm doing this for your own good" anymore. Too heavy a sacrifice will become pressure for others.

Walk your own path, whether it leads to laughter or tears, to blossoms or withering. Who can be sure?

02

Looking at the heavy shell on the snail's back, this journey must be exhausting.

With such a burden, can it really reach the end?

The snail seemed to sense the cat’s worry. It didn't speak but showed the answer through its actions.

It's slower in speed, technique, and even strength compared to other crawling creatures. Yet it continues to move forward with determination, despite the slow pace.

Yes, the snail carries so much weight, yet it's not afraid of difficulties. Why is the cat hesitating without even taking the first step?

The cat knows the burden on its shoulders well, and the cat also have the selfish desire to go far away. But the cat never knew how to balance the two, thus trapped in contradictions, unable to move forward.

The snail's journey unraveled the problem that had troubled the cat for a long time. Keep moving forward, it's difficult to break free from doubts by looking back and forth.

The journey of life is full of challenges, just to meet a better self.

03

Some people like sunny days, some like cloudy days, and some even like rainy days. We shouldn't give up our ideals because of others' remarks like "it's not good," "I don't like it," or "I think it won't work."

Those who have said I can't have not accomplished much in their lives. We're all the same, who's nobler than whom?

There's a saying: "The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, the second-best time is now." Make progress every day, just keep persisting, and time will give you the answer.

The snail challenges the impossible, but who dares to say it won't be on the rooftop? As long as you persist day by day, anything is possible.

Time will give us answers, not those who keep denying you.

Instead of lingering on, struggling with conflicting thoughts, focus on the path ahead, walk slowly, walk firmly, walk the path you want, live the life you want.

Live happily, live a fulfilling life.

04

In the aging years, please be kind to yourself.

When tired, sleep early; when weary, rest well. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Apply a face mask, soak your feet, eat something nice, drink something warm. Only by relaxing appropriately can you go further.

Those who love you won't mind if you're slow. Those who dislike you will find fault no matter what you do, so don't take it to heart.

No flower blooms from the beginning, nor does any flower remain in bloom until the end.

In the blink of an eye, it's a lifetime. Don't worry about what works or doesn't work. Only by doing will you know. What I found unbearable last year has become a thing of the past.

Days will only get better, and so will you. With this belief and action, no matter what others say, anything that stops you from getting better is nonsense!

For the rest of your life, don't exhaust yourself in busyness. Do things you like to improve your mood. Stay away from the crowd to get closer to yourself. Devote yourself to reading and encounter a better soul.

The best version of oneself is to live according to one's own will, without being humble or scornful, without envying or mocking others, without relying on anyone else. Each striving to live their own life well.

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The Golden Rule of Socializing: Focus on You, Not Them

Focus on You, Not Them.

It seems simple, but it's not easy to do. In the process of communicating with others, instead of overthinking about them, it's better to express yourself clearly.

As for the outcome, if you can chat, then chat; if not, then be quiet. If the other person lacks manners, then you also don't need to maintain yours all the time.

We should know that the essence of social interaction is actually about filtering and exchanging. Filtering is a set of standards for interaction, with your own feelings and interests as the bottom line; exchanging is one of the purposes of socializing, with your own resources as the exchange value.

So never ignore your own feelings. Not everyone is worth your time and energy to socialize with. And those worth your time and energy must pass through your filtering.

Just need to stick to two principles. The first principle is to care about your own feelings and defend your own interests. The second principle is to adhere to the first principle.

For those who turn against you, just turn against them directly. There's no need to analyze their behavior, speculate about their thoughts, or dwell too much on it. Even if it's a client, you still need to filter them appropriately, let alone colleagues or friends.

Some may ask, wouldn't this approach be too self-centered? However, is socializing not self-centered? So you only need to understand your own value and purpose, know your bottom line, and don't need to analyze or speculate about others.

If you don't actively filter friends, you'll be filtered by others. Some may also ask, wouldn't this mean you won't make friends? In fact, it's difficult to find like-minded friends throughout life. There's no need to forcefully make friends; avoiding internal conflicts and being comfortable with yourself is most important.

Moreover, not all so-called friends are true friends. It's better to focus on improving yourself. If you bloom, the breeze will come naturally.

Especially when you're feeling low and weak, you'll always think about others' company and inspiration. Continuously analyzing others will only lead to increasing feelings of inferiority and emptiness.

If this is the case, the biggest issue isn't communication but lack of confidence. The lower your confidence, the less you should care about others' words, not analyze others, and do what you think is right, focusing on completing your main tasks.

Remember, scumbags love people with a ‘victimized’ mentality the most. When your confidence rises and you're mentally strong, then actively absorb what's beneficial to you in social interactions. At this point, you won't fall into internal conflicts or doubt yourself again.

True social champions all have one thing in common: they confidently defend their interests, express their feelings clearly and assertively, and always prioritize themselves.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Don't be afraid to confront conflicts. Relationships that can be torn apart, don’t matter much.

2. Maintain eye contact during conversations to let the other person feel your presence.

3. Knowing what you want is enough; there's no need to analyze others.

4. True strength lies in accepting your imperfections. Don't lose confidence because you think you're imperfect.

5. Don't attempt to change others, including your parents. Smart Adults only filter, they don't educate.

Everyone should care about their own feelings, but not to the extreme, and not to stubbornly persist. You need to weigh the pros and cons, act accordingly, and realize that treating social interactions as a zero-sum game won't last long.

If you encounter someone with a similar magnetic field or frequency, perhaps you'll be willing to unconditionally treat them well.

You are the protagonist of your life, overcome the challenges, and become a better person.

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