01
Early this year, I bumped into some elementary school classmates during
a wedding. We hadn't really kept in touch since graduating, so suddenly seeing
each other, we barely remembered how we looked as kids, and we couldn't even
recall each other's names. After exchanging a few words, we had to find some
topics to chat about. Despite trying to reminisce about our limited shared
memories from the past, we exchanged contacts, saying we should keep in touch
more often. After lunch, I made an excuse to leave. In the evening, he messaged
me, saying he and a few other elementary school classmates were going to have
tea. My instinctive reaction was to decline. We hadn't seen each other for many
years, and suddenly being together again, we were unfamiliar with each other.
Going there would only lead to awkwardness, so I thought it was better to
refuse outright and be honest about it.
02
Friendships require shared experiences to sustain them.
The more we work, the fewer friends we have around us. Even those
friendships that were once good tend to fade away without shared experiences.
I've never believed in friendships lasting forever. Even if separated by
mountains and seas, we can still miss and cherish each other only if there are
shared experiences. Friends need shared experiences to sustain them. Have you
ever felt this way? If you haven't seen a friend for many years and suddenly
meet, do you expect to hug each other with tears in your eyes? It's not the
case. Instead, there's just awkwardness. Even when chatting, it's still about
past shared experiences, digging into the memories to fill the emptiness and
awkwardness of the present. You may think the relationship has changed, but it
hasn't. It's just that you lack shared experiences and no longer spend as much
time together as before. Therefore, true friends need to stay in touch
regularly. The farther apart you are, the weaker the relationship becomes.
03
One day, I suddenly remembered a good friend from high school. We were
classmates in high school, but we rarely kept in touch after graduation. We
reconnected and met up twice. Then, we lost touch again. That day, I suddenly
thought of him and wanted to see how he was doing, so I found him on social
media. After exchanging greetings and asking about each other's situation,
there was silence. We had to deliberately find some topics to talk about. We talked
about our high school classmates who were close to us. As we talked, I felt
bored. It seemed that we didn't have much to talk about, and it felt awkward to
chat. The more we tried to find topics, the more awkward it became. At that
moment, I knew we couldn't go back to how we were before. We couldn't talk to
each other about everything like we used to. So, after one last boring
conversation, I ended the chat myself. I knew I wouldn't initiate contact with
him again because we had nothing to talk about, and chatting felt awkward and
boring. Did we have a falling out? No, we were both polite and exchanged
greetings, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Between friends, there's
no need for politeness and formality; the more polite you are, the more distant
you seem.
04
Friendships tend to diminish as adults.
As we work, we make many acquaintances in the workplace, add many people
on social media, and become close to many people, eating and going out
together. However, suddenly, one day, we bid each other farewell and never
contact each other again. Adult friendships are either based on emotions or
interests. Emotional bonds are considered a luxury for people in the workplace.
It's difficult for us to make friends in the workplace. Even if you work and
eat together every day, and even go shopping hand in hand, these relationships
only last during working hours. After work, everyone goes their separate ways.
Friendship in the workplace is best left undisturbed, as this is the greatest
form of respect. Such friendships only last until the day you leave your job,
and afterwards, everyone goes their separate ways, forgetting each other in the
hustle and bustle of life. Most people's friendships are formed during their
school years. After all, when we're young, we prioritize emotions, but as
adults, we prioritize interests. Without shared interests, it's difficult for
adults to make friends. After all, everyone is busy, and if there's nothing to
do, there's no need to meet up.
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