Friday, July 26, 2024

The Power of Mindset in Shaping Destiny

Adler’s theory is that "A person's life isn't entirely determined by fate and past traumas but lies in one's own mindset." Life can be compared to a mirror, reflecting the various ways of thinking in each individual. A good way of thinking is akin to having wings, enabling one to soar higher, while a negative mindset is like a quagmire, leading one deeper into despair. Those burdened by negative thinking often fail to realize this and simply complain about their bad luck. If you possess the following three types of thinking, you should be particularly cautious: they restrict your vision, growth, and depth, acting as stumbling blocks on the path of life and must be avoided.

Tunnel Vision

There's a psychological theory known as the "tunnel vision effect," which describes a situation where an individual is confined within a narrow tunnel and can only see an extremely limited view. It's like being in a valley where your observations are quite narrow. To get a broader view, you have to be at the peak of a mountain.

Tunnel vision thinking limits the breadth of one's thoughts, restricting the potential for success. This kind of thinking makes success difficult even with maximum effort.

For instance, consider a story about a woman in her forties who works as a delivery person. She grew up in a financially tight situation and went to work straight after completing high school. Despite years of societal struggle, she always harboured the dream of going to college. However, she was unable to pursue her studies due to financial pressures and family responsibilities.

To achieve her career goals, she devised a rule: eight hours for survival, eight hours for development. Every day, she worked hard for eight hours delivering food, using the remaining time to learn new skills, such as creating short videos, reading, and playing the guitar. One of her videos gained numerous likes, unexpectedly generating extra income. The food delivery platform noticed her dream of attending college and offered her a chance to study for free.

However, if she only focused on immediate profits by delivering a few more orders every day, she might have earned more money. But compared to the opportunity for free college and limitless future prospects, those additional earnings were inconsequential.

"Life doesn't become narrow due to lack of intelligence but from insufficient experience and overly narrow vision." Limited thinking prevents individuals from seeing the long-term impacts and changes in things, causing them to miss opportunities and drift with the tide.

Only by breaking free from narrow thinking patterns, broadening horizons, and embracing unknown challenges can one enrich the breadth of their life.

Flea

Scientists conducted an experiment where fleas were placed in a glass jar. Initially, there was no lid, and the fleas could jump freely and quite high. However, when a lid was placed on top, the fleas kept jumping within the jar but couldn't escape. Even after the lid was removed, the fleas didn't jump as high as before, hardly exceeding the height of the previous lid.

This experiment metaphorically mirrors human circumstances. Many failures stem from self-imposed limitations, hindering the attainment of higher achievements. Those controlled by "flea thinking" are often confined by narrow-mindedness and start doubting and negating themselves when faced with difficulties. Fear of failure exacerbates further failure.

The story of a female security guard is inspirational. Jane, in her fifties, worked as a security guard at an elementary school. A modelling teacher awakened her long-lost dream of becoming a model. Despite Jane's hesitation due to her age, she started learning modelling from scratch. Internal doubts lingered: "Can I really do this?" Encouragement from her daughter gave her the courage to begin her modelling journey. After work, she diligently practiced her posture for several years.

During this time, she won many awards and gradually became more confident. Her success story illustrates that without trying and taking risks, one cannot discover their potential or embark on the path to success.

"The whole of life is an adventure. Those who go the farthest are often those willing to take risks." Kick away those stumbling blocks, don't limit yourself. When you feel "I can't do it," tell yourself "try again," you might discover a different height in life.

"Ignorance is the obstacle to success, and its severity is beyond what we can imagine." Being complacent, not seeking advancement, and being subject to manipulation are all indications of ignorance. These limit vision, stifle talent, and constrain limitless future possibilities. The stage size depends on the breadth of one's mind. To break through life's obstacles, one must shatter the shackles of limited thinking.

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Selective Kindness: Reserving Your Goodness for the Worthy

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Friday, July 19, 2024

Reserving Your Goodness for the Worthy

"Emotions are not a one-sided performance but a sincere devotion from both parties." The most desolate thing in the world is when I cook for you, you feast; I make the bed, you sleep peacefully; I offer my kindness, you enjoy it all. However, you consistently turn a blind eye to my efforts even causing me harm. Instead of waiting for an endless story with no conclusion, enduring an unreciprocated emotion, it's wiser to turn away timely. In the future, reserve precious feelings for the right person.

Wrong Paths Need Turning, Wrong People Need Letting Go

Hunters on the grasslands set traps to capture animals. They observed a peculiar phenomenon: they caught various animals frequently but seldom managed to trap wolves. It was revealed that when a wolf was caught in a trap, it would gnaw its leg off along with the bone and sinew, escaping with three bleeding legs. In economics, there's the concept of "sunk costs," referring to costs invested and impossible to recover, such as time, money, and emotions. Faced with these "sunk costs," some spend days regretting without the courage to let go, sinking deeper into a chasm, making the situation irretrievable. Others, like a gecko, shed the tail, abandon the loss, and start anew.

Mistakes are sometimes inevitable in relationships. It's most challenging when one walks a path, loves for half a lifetime, only to realize that everything was wrong. Only those who have experienced the entanglement and pain that are desperate to end it can genuinely understand. Instead of clinging to future expectations, it's better to bravely let go, thus severing ties. This way, one can escape the whirlpool and prevent greater losses. Be it in economics or emotions, a timely stop-loss, seemingly painful, is actually a form of wisdom. "Turn back from the wrong path in love, let go of the wrong person promptly." Only then can one preserve their dignity or perhaps luckily encounter the right person.

Meeting the Right Person Exchanges True Feelings

In this materialistic world, many emotions are driven by self-interest. If, unfortunately, you find yourself in such a situation, retract your genuine emotions and learn to turn away. In life, some roads are only appreciated after traveling them; some individuals' worth is only realized after interacting with them; some emotions' value is only discovered after investing in them. These people and emotions, whether right or wrong, are all part of our lives. Only by accepting and forgetting can we continue to move forward. If you meet a good person, wholeheartedly give your all. If you haven't yet, hold onto your sincerity and love yourself well. Sometimes, turning away might bring rebirth.

Sometimes need to turn back to allow reborn

Giving without losing dignity, even with much effort, rarely earns others' respect and praise. It's only through giving with boundaries, offering with dignity, and being kind yet firm that one can gain others' respect and cherish. There is no standard for those who love you; they allow you to be yourself in the most relaxed state. Those who don't love you constantly demand and calculate, seeking to satisfy their desires. Rather than let others continually deplete you, it's better to turn away. Sometimes, turning away might signify a new beginning. Therefore, your genuine affection should be treasured, only for the right person. Life only bestows deserved happiness when one gives to those who are worthy. Perhaps the most valuable thing in life is true affection, and the most precious is genuine feelings. Since genuine emotions are rare and precious, they shouldn't be wasted. Life is limited; don't waste a lifetime's effort on unworthy people. If accompanied by a virtuous individual, one will shine brightly; if alone, one must learn to illuminate oneself. In the days to come, always save your sincerity for the right person.

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Cracking the Code: Unraveling Human Character in Three Details

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Friday, July 12, 2024

Cracking the Code: Unraveling Human Character in Three Details

Since ancient times, human nature has been complex, and the human heart is enigmatic; we find it challenging to completely understand someone. As the saying goes, "Character is evident in behaviour, and the inner self is hidden within actions." To comprehend someone's essence, these three details are sufficient.

  1. Attitude towards Parents Reflects One's Character

Parents provide life, nurture us into adulthood, and are the most unconditionally loving individuals in our lives. They are the closest people to us. We manifest our genuine selves in front of our parents without inhibitions, freely exhibiting our nature. However, the way one treats their parents often reflects their true character and conduct. Typically, we reserve our good temper for others while displaying our bad temper to family members. Psychologically, this is a common phenomenon. However, individuals who maintain a good and courteous demeanour in front of their closest relatives showcase exceptional cultivation and admirable qualities.

2.    Attitude Towards Profit Reflects One's Character

Facing profits reveals human nature. Money is a sign of human nature, and the pursuit of profit is the touchstone of character. When tested by profit, the good and bad sides of human hearts become apparent, and the warmth or coldness of human relationships becomes evident. Faced with the allure of profit, the cunning easily lose themselves and invite trouble, while those with noble character can maintain their integrity.

Consider a young man wanting to start a business. Lacking funds, he borrowed money from his brother, who unhesitatingly handed over all his savings. Yet, the business failed, and the young man disappeared without repaying the debt. Later, the brother fell seriously ill and urgently needed money. Upon seeking the young man's whereabouts to ask for help, the latter avoided discussing it and showed no concern for the brother's illness. He even evaded responsibility, saying, "It's the brother's duty to help the younger, so there's no need to repay." Eventually, the brother's friend stepped in and helped him through the tough times. From then on, their relationship was severed. Money can change a person's outward appearance. Faced with monetary interests, one can peer into a person's soul. Those who know contentment have a basic bottom line, while the selfish and greedy lack principles. In this journey of life, emotions and morality are paramount; money can be earned again, but after losing trust and morality, it's challenging to regain them. Some individuals, driven by personal gains, sacrifice morals and forget their conscience, harming those who trust and genuinely care for them. When around such people, it is essential to distance oneself early and avoid giving one's heartfelt trust, which will only lead to profound disappointment.

3.    Attitude Toward the Weak Reflects Manners

How one treats the weak signifies their compassion and manners. True strength involves treating others regardless of status, without trampling on the vulnerable to showcase oneself. It demonstrates a person's sense of respect and goodwill toward others.

People often admire the strong, but it is the respect and kindness shown to the weak that represents the most valuable qualities. When people mutually respect one another, they can progress together, whereas mutual disdain causes mutual dislike. Truly cultivated individuals do not boast about their status but understand the perspective of the weak, treating others with humility and kindness. Not looking down on others due to one's own nobility is a benevolent attitude, as well as a wise and far-sighted view. Such an approach to life is exceedingly precious, and individuals like this will undoubtedly earn long-term trust and respect. A person's character can be glimpsed through their behavior and manner of speech.

In summary, a person's character can be observed by their actions:

  • Their gratitude and patient companionship towards their parents.
  • Their stance regarding profits, their adherence to ethics, and trustworthiness.
  • Their treatment of the weak: are they modest, stable, and respectful?

Exemplary character is a person's greatest support, the most solid confidence, and the best passport for traversing the world.

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The Best State of Life: Half and Half

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Friday, July 5, 2024

The Best State of Life: Half and Half


  • In Dealing with Interpersonal Relationships: Half Awake, Half Confused

In the interactions between people, everyone desires to be shrewd, fearing that they'll be taken advantage of. However, excessive concern for personal gains or losses can lead to misguided actions. Conversely, being moderately confused can often gain more favour among people and make things smoother. When facing criticism from others, it's also good to be moderately confused. Recognizing that each person's cognition and understanding vary, even when you express goodwill, you might receive a cold response. In such cases, silence might be a preferable choice.

  • In Marriage: Half Management, Half Acceptance

If one becomes too meticulous, constantly critical of others, life will become entangled in endless disputes. Behind mutual tolerance in a marriage lies the support of an outstanding blunt-force quality. Being overly sensitive often leads to frequent quarrels and distress. If both parties refuse to yield, serious disputes and tension will ensue. However, if both parties take a step back and view the problem from the other's perspective, it can ease the situation by half. A successful marriage involves half management and half acceptance.

  • In Work: Half Pursuit, Half Letting Go

An online saying goes: "There are no unreasonable workplaces, only unreasonable mindset." The workplace is a battlefield without gun smoke, where one must manage not just the relationship between people and work but also the relationships between people. Good interpersonal relationships bring happiness and high efficiency, while poor relationships make work stressful, causing a desire to escape. Work's quality directly affects happiness. Sometimes, the harder one tries, the more unattainable the goal feels. There seems to be a gap between reality and idealism. Faced with dissatisfaction, knowing when to let go is important. Letting go doesn't mean being indifferent but rather abandoning mental burdens. Do not compare yourself with others or show off at the workplace. Learning to compromise can solve many unpleasant situations. Treating work well is treating oneself well.

  • With Money: Half Striving, Half Content

How one treats money reflects their cultivation. Being a bit confused, gaining less, and giving more might seem like a loss on the surface but actually distances one from greed, resulting in peace of mind. Don't fear loss; sometimes having too much becomes a burden. Letting go brings freedom. Money earned in one's lifetime is finite, but greed knows no bounds. Don't lose your health chasing after money; earn a set amount of money but nourish an interesting mind. People often ignore the beauty around them while longing for the unattainable. Strive for what destiny provides; let go of what isn't yours. A heart that is content is not swayed by materialism, always perceiving happiness. Half striving, half letting go, is the correct perspective on money.

  • In Life: Half Hustle, Half Serenity

The most delightful part of life lies in its simplicity. The real pleasure in life doesn't come from luxurious food and drink but rather from the simple joys found in own grown vegetables. Material comforts make up a part of life, but true joy comes from spiritual pursuits. Life cannot exist without the necessities, but if they dominate and the soul is absent, life becomes meaningless. The best state in life lies in the pursuit. A serene mood, leaving room for life to breathe, allows you to sense the beauty. Overstraining in life is a form of harm. Taking things lightly, not blindly following, and not becoming entangled is key. Extremes in life are both regrettable. Half and half is the best state in life.

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