Friday, June 28, 2024

Your Image Determines Your Income and Life

It's said that within the first 45 seconds of meeting someone, a first impression is formed. These 45 seconds' impressions are mainly based on appearances. Outward appearance and attire reveal an individual's depth and emotional intelligence. It's been said, "No one wants to understand your noble inner self through your unkempt appearance." Therefore, the image you present daily is your business card to the outside world.

Judging by Appearance Is an Instinct

Whether you're willing to accept it or not, the world still judges by appearances, as it's one of humanity's instincts. Those with outstanding appearances and elegant temperament often have more opportunities and are treated more favourably. This is the reality. In the workplace, individuals with good appearances and pleasant temperaments are more popular and are more easily welcomed. Regardless of the mistakes they might make, such individuals are more easily forgiven. When interacting with clients, individuals with good appearances find it easier to strike up conversations.

We need not criticize this phenomenon because it's a fundamental aspect of human nature. Therefore, we need to pay attention to our image in life. We should understand the importance of self-control, maintain our physique, engage in more physical exercise, and possibly invest in some decent clothing for significant occasions.

A good appearance truly matters. While judging based on appearance might carry bias, it has its rationality. An individual's appearance and style somewhat reflect their attitude towards life, social status, and taste. This directly influences their life.

Practicing a Good Image - Four Things to Do

An individual's image doesn't solely refer to appearance and attire; it's deeper, encompassing their aura, temperament, and mental state.

  1. Read and Explore to Improve Character and Knowledge

If an individual lacks advantages in their appearance, they can compensate through talent. A person's intrinsic temperament, talent, and cultivation are often their best business cards, with the longest shelf life. Talents and thoughts are the highest-quality cosmetics; even the best clothes cannot dress them up.

  1. Mind Your Diet and Exercise for a Good Physique

The difference between a successful appearance and a less successful one often comes down to differences in body shape. Cultivating a habit of exercise and fitness is crucial for maintaining a good physique. A person who exercises regularly has a completely different mental state from someone who doesn't exercise.

Therefore, mind your diet, don't indulge excessively, and maintain a good physique by being active.

  1. Learn to Communicate Well

A person who can communicate well can uplift others with just a few words. However, those who cannot express themselves well often have their image discounted by others. How someone speaks reflects their cultivation and knowledge.

  1. Dress Appropriately and Take Care of Yourself

Dressing appropriately for the occasion, not overly flamboyant or artificial, demonstrates sophistication and elegance. Clothing complements the person, just as a horse complements a saddle. I've never believed that someone who emphasizes their external image is superficial. Paying attention to dressing and self-care often indicates a deeper love for life.

Many times, your image tends to decide your life and more directly, your career and income. For the rest of your life, live earnestly without compromise or carelessness. Only then will life treat you kindly.

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Minding Your Business After Thirty

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Friday, June 21, 2024

Minding Your Business After Thirty

"The most sobering awareness is to understand your own position, much like knowing your own face."

As one reaches a certain age, they understand that the most important thing in life is managing oneself and not meddling in the lives of others. Often, what you believe to be guidance is nothing more than interference, and your so-called 'good intentions' are actually intrusive.

Don't Put Your Feet in Other People's Shoes

Question: What are the characteristics of truly ignorant people?

One of the responses was: "Finding pleasure in discussing others' private matters, making the criticism of others' right and wrong an important part of one's own life."

If the boundaries between people are lost, that will be the greatest disaster. Losing sympathy while traversing the world is the greatest tragedy.

There was a young man, the only son of a widowed farmer, who passed away at the young age of 20. He was the most outstanding worker in the village. On the day of the young man's burial, the landowner's wife visited the widow's house.

Upon entering, she saw the widow standing in the centre of her small hut, scooping up cabbage soup from the bottom of a black pot and drinking it, sip by sip. Even though her left hand hung weakly by her waist, her face was gaunt, her eyes swollen, she stood with a resolute posture.

The landowner's wife, taken aback, said, "At a time like this, you still have an appetite to eat. You have a heart of stone." She recalled her own grief from losing her daughter several years ago and had refused to move to an estate in the suburbs.

She asked, "Don't you love your son? How can you have an appetite for soup?" The widow replied, "My son is dead. My life is over, and my heart has died with it."

This story always deeply touches the heart. In real life, when we face the plight of others, we often tend to talk incessantly, thinking our words will help others, but in reality, we might be adding insult to injury.

"Everyone has a basket full of wisdom for others, a lantern lit high, which can illuminate others but not oneself." In social interactions, we should never speak on behalf of others. If we don't understand the whole picture, we should refrain from making random comments. If we don't comprehend someone else's pain and joy, we shouldn't meddle.

After middle age, cultivate more self-awareness, reduce interference, give up the habit of thinking you know best, and quietly lead a good life.

Don’t Sit in Others’ Spots and Enjoy Your Own View

In life, there are many people who always imitate the actions of others. Whenever someone else buys a big house or changes their car to a luxury model, even if their savings are limited, they will borrow money to buy a car of the same caliber. They see other couples having a sweet relationship, the husband giving his wife luxurious gifts, and they feel envious. Consequently, they argue incessantly at home. There are also those who see other people's children working abroad, feeling dissatisfied with their ordinary children, always worried about losing face in front of others. However, sitting in the spot of others to observe their own view will only yield disappointment in the end. If you only have the splendor of others in your eyes but ignore your own sustained, small happiness, you'll live a life accompanied by nothing but troubles.

Upon deeper thought, many times we only see what others have but fail to realize what they have lost. Each family has its own difficulties, and while you may envy others, perhaps they are also envious of you. When you admire someone else's life, perhaps your ordinary daily life is seen as precious by others. Don’t always seek your happiness in the happiness of others, and don't blindly imitate others. This way, you won’t miss out on a good life due to comparisons.

"Heaven won’t concentrate all happiness on one person. Having love doesn’t necessarily mean having money, having money doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, being happy doesn’t necessarily mean having good health, and having good health doesn't mean everything will go as planned. Gratitude and contentment are the best paths to refine the mind and purify the soul."

Truly mature individuals know how to appreciate the present, focus on their lives, and cherish their precious moments. In the second half of life, let go of what you can't obtain and treasure what you already have.

Don’t Measure Everyone’s Life with the Same Ruler

Don't use a single standard to measure everyone's rights and wrongs. There are many things you don't understand in the corners that you can't see. Because you haven't experienced darkness, you cannot understand why some people refuse to change their ideas. Pessimism can be seen as a profound insight into the future, but optimism is considered wisdom.

For things you haven't experienced personally, don't use an arrogant attitude to disregard everything.

I once saw a video. On Valentine’s day, a man prepared a carefully selected cosmetics gift box for his wife, and she intentionally recorded this special moment. This man spends years working away from home for the family's livelihood. It was a great challenge for him to take time off to celebrate this special day with his wife. Unfortunately, many criticized the gift he gave as being too cheap. However, what they didn't understand was that not everyone has experienced luxury brands or flying by airplane. Respecting others' happiness, refraining from unnecessary interference is also a form of kindness.

"The greatest thing in life is to do your best without overly intervening in others' matters. You can offer advice, but you can't force others to act according to your own ideas."

From now on, become a person with a rich inner world and broad horizons. When you possess a clear mind, everything will become beautiful.

In this world, there are only three things: your own matters, others' matters, and destiny. For your own matters, complete them without depending on others. For others' matters, add more understanding and respect and less interference. As for destiny, accept it with an ordinary attitude.

Entering the second half of life, remember to handle your own matters properly, not intervene too much in others' matters, and deal with destiny with equanimity. Reflect on your own mistakes quietly, refrain from lightly judging others' faults; this is the highest level of attitude towards life.

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Never Help Others Bully Yourself

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Friday, June 14, 2024

Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Every bad relationship carries a part of your responsibility because we inadvertently teach others how to treat us." Excessive humility and accommodation can lead to further bullying, while excessive dedication only brings about others' contempt. The way others treat you is influenced by what you permit. Hence, always remember; never help others bully you.

Without your consent, no one can hurt you.

In the world of adults, there exists a cruel rule of interaction: the more conscious you are about pleasing others, the more likely you are to be looked down upon.

Accepting boundless giving doesn't create harmonious relationships; it leads to increasing feelings of oppression. I have a friend who's seen as a do-gooder by colleagues and friends. During work hours, he helps colleagues with deliveries or buys them drinks. On weekends, whenever friends need to work overtime, he never hesitates to help. Regardless of whether the help needed is within his capability, he never refuses. However, even though he's incredibly busy, he doesn't receive the respect and gratitude he deserves. His friends' demands keep increasing, and when he can't fulfil them, they mock and belittle him.

If we consistently don't refuse, perhaps we don't hurt others, but we hurt ourselves. No one in this world can hurt you unless you first agree to their hurt. If you base your worth on the recognition of others, they will use this recognition to exploit you. If you always maintain a good temper, others will insult you repeatedly. People who genuinely like you appreciate your independence and assertiveness, not your subservience or eagerness to please others. To let your life shine, you must retain your own sharpness.

How You Treat Yourself is How Others Will Treat You

Not long ago, a friend complained to me that after several years of marriage, she transformed from a young and beautiful girl into a "desperate housewife." To care for her child, she had to quit her beloved job and save every penny for household expenses. However, her husband seemed oblivious to her efforts and, during an argument, resorted to calling her a "haggard old woman" and a "useless housewife."

Looking dejected, my friend asked me why such words were said. I glanced at her dishevelled hair, pale face, and worn-out T-shirt, shaking my head in response: "If you don't love yourself, no one is obliged to love you." The way people treat you is what you allow.

Blindly giving will only increase the chance of being unappreciated. As an adult, she selflessly cared for the family to enable her husband's career, but she never had a life or social connections of her own. Her long and diligent sacrifices never led to the love she anticipated.

"If you can't love yourself, it's difficult to love others." When one's self-worth is based on serving others, they inevitably face disdain and apathy. Only when you focus on yourself will the world start to love you.

Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Don't fear offending someone due to a certain character; remember, no one can avoid annoying others. 90% of people, you can completely annoy them."

Too many relationships aren't worth your compromise. Only when you show your edge and boundaries can you put on strong armour for yourself.

Paz leads a life everyone admires. She handles work gracefully, her boyfriend is caring, and she has a close friend by her side. However, this seemingly perfect life behind the scenes is bitter and repressive.

Despite her diligence at work, her boss overlooks her efforts and promotes new employees. Her boyfriend boasts daily, always thinking about doing "great things" and relying on her for support. While she comforted her friend several times in distress, when she needed support, her friend remained indifferent to her feelings.

She always endured, taking care of others' emotions, yet in the end, nobody cared about her feelings.

Fed up with this meagre life, Paz decided she couldn't take it anymore. She angrily accused her boss of bias, scolded her boyfriend for being an "escapist parasite," and even snatched her friend's phone and threw it in the trash.

Although she resigned, broke up, and ended a friendship in a short time, she felt immensely relieved and comforted.

In the past, she was as gentle as a lamb, but when she showed her sharp claws, her world became clearer, and for the first time in over a decade, she slept soundly.

Saying "no" to things you don't like is self-care. Refuse unreasonable requests, maintain distance, and you won't deplete unnecessary social relationships.

Life is too short; you don't need to live in patterns set by others. Take responsibility for your feelings, shape the life you want. Every day is a new beginning when you no longer cater to others' needs.

There's a saying: "Adults' social relationships are tailor-made." Everything we experience is of our own making. The easier you are to deal with, the less people take you seriously; the more you stand your ground, the friendlier those around you become.

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Be Kind to Yourself, Don't Get Angry

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Friday, June 7, 2024

Be Kind to Yourself, Don't Get Angry

Of all the emotions, anger is the most detestable and violent. Indeed, anger not only fails to solve problems but also triggers a series of issues in life, work, and relationships. Moreover, it can harm our bodies, leading individuals to unknowingly fall into frustration, congestion, and even result in the formation of nodules and other diseases. Thus, adjusting our emotions is crucial in dealing with ourselves and life.

When you feel anger, try silently reciting the following three sentences. Keeping calm leads to a naturally balanced state of mind.

Anger is punishing yourself for others' mistakes. Why do people feel angry?

Perhaps because they feel that others' rudeness offends them or others' selfishness infringes upon their interests. Anger arises as a means to vent internal dissatisfaction.

However, anger does not resolve issues but instead creates a series of troubles in life and work. Worse, it can damage your health.

"Anger is punishing yourself for others' mistakes."

There was a reported incident: A man passing through a toll booth suddenly began knocking on his car window seeking help, claiming his wife suddenly experienced limb paralysis and difficulty breathing.

Upon questioning by the staff, it was revealed that the woman in the car had argued with her husband over trivial household matters. She felt her husband was not understanding enough, which made her more and more angry. Quickly, she began experiencing numbness in her arms and legs and even felt oxygen-deprived in her head.

Fortunately, due to timely medical assistance, the woman's symptoms quickly subsided. However, not everyone might be as lucky.

In a state of extreme anger, individuals might likely develop respiratory alkalosis. Those affected might exhibit symptoms such as numbness in the lips and limbs, chest tightness, palpitations, and high blood pressure in milder cases. Severe cases might lead to fainting, disorientation, and could even result in coronary ischemia.

Clearly, anger can sometimes pose a threat to life. However, it's not the person who angered you but yourself who ends up bearing this. Therefore, no matter the situation, it's important to advise oneself not to get angry. After all, in this world, nothing is worth trading your physical health for.

When facing unpleasantness, ask yourself first: Can I resolve this? If you can, try your best to do so. If not, then let it go.

Anger Begins with Foolishness and Ends with Regret

Some people, due to anger, affect their own health; others ruin their own prospects because of anger. However, almost all anger begins with foolishness and ends with regret.

The character for "anger" in Chinese, "" (nù), has the radical for "slave" on top and "heart" at the bottom. Once immersed in the trap of anger, you become a slave to your own mindset, led by the nose with the word "anger."

In that moment, due to a temporary loss of control over anger, you may commit irreversible mistakes. Therefore, if you wish to avoid regret and unnecessary trouble, you must learn to control your emotions.

As the saying goes, "Calmness brings wisdom." Only when you calm down can you find the energy and time to discover the best solutions to problems.

Being Enterprising Is Better Than Being Angry, Changing Is Better Than Complaining

Everyone experiences the seven emotions and six desires; it's a common human experience. Happiness can turn into sadness, and tranquility can become anger. However, anger is the most powerless weapon for the incompetent.

Truly wise people understand that being enterprising is better than being angry, reading is better than arguing, and changing is better than complaining. There's a story of a young artist who received a commission from a merchant. The merchant agreed to pay the artist $10,000 for the artwork, allowing the artist creative freedom. However, when the young artist finished the painting, the merchant, seeing the artist's limited fame, only wanted to settle for $3,000. Though the artist felt unhappy, he said only two words: "Not selling."

Subsequently, the young artist became more diligent, continuously honing skills and expanding knowledge. Many years later, he became a renowned artist and held an exhibition. The paintings displayed at the exhibition left the merchant sweating; a painting that once cost only a fraction now held a value of over $100,000.

There's a saying: "When you are weak, bad people are numerous." This is because, during such times, they might bully you without consequences. However, once you become strong, the world will perceive you differently.

Therefore, when facing unpleasant situations, don't just release your anger; instead, contemplate how to transform this energy. When you invest time and effort into self-improvement, not only will you discover the endless possibilities of life, but you'll also leave behind those who once made you angry.

Ultimately, true growth comes from managing one's emotions. When you learn to let emotions flow, live peacefully, and release extreme emotions, you'll find inner peace, and life will flow more smoothly.

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