Friday, June 21, 2024

Minding Your Business After Thirty

"The most sobering awareness is to understand your own position, much like knowing your own face."

As one reaches a certain age, they understand that the most important thing in life is managing oneself and not meddling in the lives of others. Often, what you believe to be guidance is nothing more than interference, and your so-called 'good intentions' are actually intrusive.

Don't Put Your Feet in Other People's Shoes

Question: What are the characteristics of truly ignorant people?

One of the responses was: "Finding pleasure in discussing others' private matters, making the criticism of others' right and wrong an important part of one's own life."

If the boundaries between people are lost, that will be the greatest disaster. Losing sympathy while traversing the world is the greatest tragedy.

There was a young man, the only son of a widowed farmer, who passed away at the young age of 20. He was the most outstanding worker in the village. On the day of the young man's burial, the landowner's wife visited the widow's house.

Upon entering, she saw the widow standing in the centre of her small hut, scooping up cabbage soup from the bottom of a black pot and drinking it, sip by sip. Even though her left hand hung weakly by her waist, her face was gaunt, her eyes swollen, she stood with a resolute posture.

The landowner's wife, taken aback, said, "At a time like this, you still have an appetite to eat. You have a heart of stone." She recalled her own grief from losing her daughter several years ago and had refused to move to an estate in the suburbs.

She asked, "Don't you love your son? How can you have an appetite for soup?" The widow replied, "My son is dead. My life is over, and my heart has died with it."

This story always deeply touches the heart. In real life, when we face the plight of others, we often tend to talk incessantly, thinking our words will help others, but in reality, we might be adding insult to injury.

"Everyone has a basket full of wisdom for others, a lantern lit high, which can illuminate others but not oneself." In social interactions, we should never speak on behalf of others. If we don't understand the whole picture, we should refrain from making random comments. If we don't comprehend someone else's pain and joy, we shouldn't meddle.

After middle age, cultivate more self-awareness, reduce interference, give up the habit of thinking you know best, and quietly lead a good life.

Don’t Sit in Others’ Spots and Enjoy Your Own View

In life, there are many people who always imitate the actions of others. Whenever someone else buys a big house or changes their car to a luxury model, even if their savings are limited, they will borrow money to buy a car of the same caliber. They see other couples having a sweet relationship, the husband giving his wife luxurious gifts, and they feel envious. Consequently, they argue incessantly at home. There are also those who see other people's children working abroad, feeling dissatisfied with their ordinary children, always worried about losing face in front of others. However, sitting in the spot of others to observe their own view will only yield disappointment in the end. If you only have the splendor of others in your eyes but ignore your own sustained, small happiness, you'll live a life accompanied by nothing but troubles.

Upon deeper thought, many times we only see what others have but fail to realize what they have lost. Each family has its own difficulties, and while you may envy others, perhaps they are also envious of you. When you admire someone else's life, perhaps your ordinary daily life is seen as precious by others. Don’t always seek your happiness in the happiness of others, and don't blindly imitate others. This way, you won’t miss out on a good life due to comparisons.

"Heaven won’t concentrate all happiness on one person. Having love doesn’t necessarily mean having money, having money doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, being happy doesn’t necessarily mean having good health, and having good health doesn't mean everything will go as planned. Gratitude and contentment are the best paths to refine the mind and purify the soul."

Truly mature individuals know how to appreciate the present, focus on their lives, and cherish their precious moments. In the second half of life, let go of what you can't obtain and treasure what you already have.

Don’t Measure Everyone’s Life with the Same Ruler

Don't use a single standard to measure everyone's rights and wrongs. There are many things you don't understand in the corners that you can't see. Because you haven't experienced darkness, you cannot understand why some people refuse to change their ideas. Pessimism can be seen as a profound insight into the future, but optimism is considered wisdom.

For things you haven't experienced personally, don't use an arrogant attitude to disregard everything.

I once saw a video. On Valentine’s day, a man prepared a carefully selected cosmetics gift box for his wife, and she intentionally recorded this special moment. This man spends years working away from home for the family's livelihood. It was a great challenge for him to take time off to celebrate this special day with his wife. Unfortunately, many criticized the gift he gave as being too cheap. However, what they didn't understand was that not everyone has experienced luxury brands or flying by airplane. Respecting others' happiness, refraining from unnecessary interference is also a form of kindness.

"The greatest thing in life is to do your best without overly intervening in others' matters. You can offer advice, but you can't force others to act according to your own ideas."

From now on, become a person with a rich inner world and broad horizons. When you possess a clear mind, everything will become beautiful.

In this world, there are only three things: your own matters, others' matters, and destiny. For your own matters, complete them without depending on others. For others' matters, add more understanding and respect and less interference. As for destiny, accept it with an ordinary attitude.

Entering the second half of life, remember to handle your own matters properly, not intervene too much in others' matters, and deal with destiny with equanimity. Reflect on your own mistakes quietly, refrain from lightly judging others' faults; this is the highest level of attitude towards life.

Read Also:

Never Help Others Bully Yourself

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