Have you ever had such an experience: wanting to be kind to others, speaking softly, but always being bossed around and not treated equally in return? Wanting to avoid conflict, diligently doing your own job, but constantly being suppressed and excluded? In life, not all kindness is met with kindness in return. Sometimes, the more you sacrifice yourself to accommodate others, the more you're seen as an easy target, and you're gradually pushed into a corner.
If you've experienced such situations,
then I suggest you start today by being a kind but "difficult to deal
with" woman. Living with edges and corners, there are times when you must
stand firm.
By doing so, you're more likely to gain
respect and move towards happiness.
Stick to your bottom line
There was a neighbor before, whose
mother-in-law had a fierce and domineering personality. From the renovation of
her son and daughter-in-law's marital home to the couple's financial situation,
she had to intervene in everything.
At first, she made her son hand over his
salary after getting married, claiming that young people spend money
recklessly, so she would manage it for him. Then she demanded that her
daughter-in-law cut ties with her own family after receiving the betrothal
gifts, insisting that everything should be controlled by her family. For other
people, even if they felt that the mother-in-law's demands were unreasonable,
they could only passively tolerate and retreat, afraid to cause too much
conflict openly.
But this daughter-in-law refused to give
in. She argued based on reason, stating that she could contribute to household
expenses every month, but with the pressure of mortgage and car payments, she couldn't
give up her salary. As for cutting ties with her own parents, it involved her
principles and bottom line, which she couldn't agree to under any
circumstances.
If the mother-in-law continued to insist, she
would publicize these matters and let everyone judge. Seeing the
daughter-in-law's strong attitude, the mother-in-law had no choice but to
retract her demands. Later, the same situation occurred several times, and the
mother-in-law no longer dared to exclude her daughter-in-law, but treated her
with the respect she deserved.
In a woman's life, she inevitably faces different roles and challenges. But whether it's establishing herself in her in-laws' home or managing her marriage and life, those women who truly thrive have their own principles and bottom line, remaining neither humble nor pushy. Besides sticking to her beliefs, it's more important to convey her attitude to everyone, telling them: "I'm not easy to bully, and crossing my bottom line will come with consequences." Women like this naturally exude confidence and toughness from within, making them unassailable whether facing their in-laws or anyone else.
Dare to reject anyone who doesn't seek to please
If you carefully observe people in the
workplace, you'll find that those who work tirelessly for the lowest salary in
the company are always the most agreeable ones. For example, in a previous
company, there were two interns with similar educational backgrounds, both
diligent and responsible.
The difference was that one, let’s call
her A, was timid. Every time she was asked to do something by her colleagues,
she hesitated to refuse, fearing that it would affect her relationships with
them. As a result, she ended up with more and more tasks, becoming busier and
more chaotic, and some colleagues even resented her for helping others but not
them.
In contrast, the other intern, let's
call her B, remained calm and composed. Similarly asked by colleagues to take
on extra tasks, she helped where she could, but firmly refused when it exceeded
her capabilities, investing more time and energy into her own work.
So what do you think happened?
Initially, some colleagues also had some resentment towards B, feeling that she
was too arrogant. But because B had fewer miscellaneous tasks, higher
efficiency, and achieved more outstanding results, the leadership appreciated
her more. Seeing this, everyone began to approach her, and she became even more
popular in the company.
There's an unspoken rule in human interaction: people bully the weak and fear the strong. No one will actively seek confrontation; it's easier to manipulate those who are compliant. So don't let yourself be the compliant one anymore. At any time, in any situation, respect your own needs first.
Clearly refuse to do things you don't want to do
or can't do. Don't be afraid of offending people, and don't care too much about
others' opinions; being disliked is a normal part of life. But first and
foremost, respect yourself, and you may earn the respect of others.
Have your own opinions
Some time ago, I received a message from
a college roommate I hadn't seen in a long time: "I've been having a tough
time these past few years." Upon inquiry, I learned that she was being
ignored by her company, with leaders and colleagues disregarding her feelings.
During Public holiday, she was scheduled
to work overtime, and she was also assigned difficult clients to handle
regularly. I asked her, "Have you ever expressed your thoughts to the
company?" She replied that when the leaders arranged overtime work for the
National Day and asked everyone for their preferences, she was afraid of
upsetting the leaders by directly refusing, so she chose to give an ambiguous
reply: "I'm fine with anything, whatever you decide."
After hearing her response, I
immediately understood where the problem lay. In my memory, she had always been
a person without her own opinions since college. When classmates gathered for
meals and asked what dishes she wanted, she would say anything was fine; when
tasks were assigned for class activities, and opinions were solicited, she
would say anything was okay, indifferent. Over time, people gradually stopped
asking for her opinions, and she became increasingly ignored, silent and
obedient, following others' lead.
To be honest, each of us is more or less
like her, clearly involved in matters concerning ourselves but afraid to make
decisions. Afraid of making the wrong choice, afraid of making mistakes, always
hoping that others will make decisions for us.
As a result, over time, we gradually lose
our own values, lose our personality, and become easily influenced by others'
opinions. Those women who are difficult to deal with are the opposite. They
never blindly follow others but clearly know what they want. No external
disturbances can shake their inner decisions.
However, having opinions doesn't mean
being aggressive or confrontational. Instead, it means having your own thoughts
and judgment, respecting others' opinions but not easily being swayed by
external influences. If you can do this, others won't dare to underestimate you
easily. In human interactions, honesty and kindness are not enough; being too
honest and too kind may even provoke the evil in human nature.
Instead, it's those who are difficult to
deal with that others dare not easily offend, inadvertently avoiding many
troubles for themselves. So, ladies, from now on, please deliberately cultivate
the quality of being "difficult to deal with." In your interactions
with others, you can be a little tough, have a bit of a temper, and
appropriately show your sharpness.
Learn to defend your boundaries and
maintain your viewpoints, so that you can protect yourself when
necessary and live a relaxed and comfortable life.
Read Also:
Secrets of Emotional Intelligence: 4 Relationship Don'ts
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