Adulting Aces: 10 Unspoken Social Rules

My four-year-old niece wanted to go play with the little friend who always ends up fighting when they gather.

I felt worried, fearing they would end up fighting again.

But my niece didn't care at all. She innocently said to me, "It's okay, if we really fight while playing, we will still play after fighting!"

At that moment, I suddenly felt that the interaction between children is so straightforward and honest: they play together when they want to, and even if they fight, they can still continue playing without any hard feelings.

However, the interaction between adults is much more subtle.

A single word, a gesture, a facial expression... even a glance could cause a relationship to fall apart.

Adult socializing is far more complex than we imagine.

Therefore, no matter who we are dealing with, the sooner we understand these 10 unspoken rules, the better.

1.There are no permanent friends or enemies.

In reality, when it comes to human relationships, everything revolves around self-interest.

"All the world is full of hustle and bustle for benefits."

The people we meet on the journey of life, whether friends or enemies, can instantly change roles because of the word "benefit."

Good friends may turn into enemies due to conflicts of interest, and enemies may form alliances due to common benefits.

There are no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent interests.

2.Being soft-hearted and shy will only harm yourself.

Those who are too soft-hearted would rather compromise themselves to suit others.

Shy people feel embarrassed about this and that, eventually sacrificing their own feelings.

The essence of being soft-hearted and embarrassed is to make things difficult for oneself.

By caring too much about others, we end up seeing ourselves as objects that can be sacrificed at any moment.

Life is already difficult enough; don't let soft-heartedness and embarrassment kill you.

3.Someone who doesn't want to trouble others definitely doesn't want to be troubled.

For most of us, aside from work and overtime, we have very little time for ourselves.

In the adult world, busyness is the norm.

Busy with work, busy with life, busy with everything in the world...

When a person is in such a busy state, saying they don't want to trouble others implies that they also don't want to be troubled by others.

This isn't cold-heartedness; it's a way of guarding one's boundaries.

Moderate trouble between people can strengthen relationships, but excessive trouble is rude.

4.When lending money to others, be prepared to not get it back.

The moment money is lent out, the initiative is no longer in one's hands. When and how it is repaid is no longer up to oneself.

Often, the lender is left with no option but to justify not repaying the money, while the borrower is left empty-handed.

So, don't easily lend money to others.

If you must lend, be prepared to not get it back when lending money to others.

5.Be confident in your intuition; everything that makes you uncomfortable is true.

Comfort is the most important thing when dealing with anyone.

When you frequently feel ignored, suppressed, sad, anxious... or simply inexplicably displeased while interacting with someone, don't doubt yourself, and don't make excuses for the other person. Everything that makes you uncomfortable is true.

Those who truly care about you won't leave you in a state of uncertainty but will provide you with enough certainty and faith to nourish your relationship.

6.Conflict is the best test of a relationship's depth.

Would you constantly avoid conflicts for fear of damaging a relationship?

If so, then perhaps you should try facing a conflict and see what happens.

Because conflict is the best test of a relationship's depth.

Those relationships that fall apart after a single conflict were never deep to begin with.

It's the relationships that withstand arguments and insults that truly deserve the label of "deep."

The sky is bluer after being washed by rain; relationships that endure conflicts are stronger.

7.Don't talk about unhappy things too often; many times, others just take them as jokes.

I used to think that when you're in a low point, sharing your troubles would bring emotional relief.

But I later found out that when you reveal too much vulnerability, you might not only receive superficial comfort but also become the subject of ridicule behind your back.

It's not that we're overthinking; it's that human nature can't withstand tests.

You might think others would sympathize with you, but in reality, they might just see your troubles as material for jokes.

When you're feeling down, don't casually confide in others; look inward for solace, and you'll heal in time.

8.Don't easily send long voice messages to others.

If you were to ask what behavior people dislike most in communication?

Sending voice messages without regard for time and place, especially long ones, would undoubtedly top the list.

Just imagine: you're in a meeting, and someone sends you several voice messages in a row. Would you listen to them?

Whether you're on the subway after work, just getting your child to sleep, or chatting with friends... sending voice messages at inappropriate times can be very off-putting.

Even if someone is willing to listen to a voice message, what if they can't understand it due to various reasons?

So, when chatting, type if you can, and if you must use voice messages, make sure to get the other person's consent first.

9.Sometimes, not responding is the best response.

Knocking on a door that won't open becomes impolite after a while.

Sometimes, not responding is the best response.

Among adults, people tend to be more reserved than straightforward, and not every response needs to be explicitly stated.

Not responding often signifies unwillingness, disinterest, or inability to comply.

Asking again would not only be pointless but also embarrassing for both parties.

Instead, give each other a way out; understand and remain silent, and perhaps you'll meet again someday.

10.When you're trying not to offend anyone, you end up offending everyone.

"The most difficult thing in the world is?" Someone commented: "Putting your thoughts into someone else's head."

Not all birds fly under the same sky, nor do all fish inhabit the same sea. People are the same; not everyone lives in the same environment.

This means we will have different perceptions, preferences, and habits of life, and naturally, different ways of interacting with others.

So, there's no need to demand that others be like us.

If you're trying not to offend anyone, you end up offending everyone.

Just like if something is good for everyone, it also mean that it is not good for everyone.

In this world, you might strive for fitness, learning, wealth...

and you may receive excellent rewards for your efforts.

However, maintaining relationships between people isn't easy and might even become more difficult the harder you try.

Human relationships require mutual effort.

If you're making efforts to maintain a relationship while the other person is not reciprocating, you'll never truly get close.

Rather than wasting time maintaining such a relationship, it's better to improve yourself. If you flourish, the breeze will come naturally.

Good relationships are about attraction, not effort.

Because in that case, not only are you miserable, but to others, it's like a disaster.

When adults interact, the exhaustion comes from there always being too much left unsaid, words left unspoken, and endless rounds of speculation standing between each other.

These 10 unspoken rules for adults to get along with each other might not be openly stated, but they are crucial. Truly understanding them can solve most of the troubles we encounter in interpersonal communication.

May we walk through this world without being burdened by others, without being trapped by relationships, and live freely throughout our lives.

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