Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

2. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

3. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

4. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.

About Work:

5. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
6. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
7. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
8. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

9. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
10. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

11. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

12. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

13. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
14. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
15. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

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Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

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Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

Simply put: Get good sleep.

These simple four words resonate with many people. In today's fast-paced world, we're often plagued by endless work, feeling exhausted. But if we manage to have a good sleep, not only can we restore our energy and revitalize our skin, but we can also maintain a clear mind and balance our physical well-being.

Roughly one-third of our lives should be spent getting sufficient sleep. However, an increasing number of people find themselves in the dilemma of insufficient sleep, experiencing insomnia, nightmares, and difficulty falling asleep.

Some people overwork and stay up late, while others play with their phones late into the night, then rely on coffee to continue their lives with dark circles under their eyes.

The workaholics and night owls, who have damaged their health through countless late nights, ironically mock themselves for not deserving a good night's sleep.

Those who truly understand the reason know that high-quality sleep brings about high work efficiency and a better life. Sleeping well is a remedy for healing life and a great method for self-cultivation.

The prevalent culture in this era involves staying up late

Statistics show that 90% of young people's sudden deaths are closely related to staying up late. Nights spent binge-watching shows, gaming, or using late nights to console a lonely soul...

If someone accrues too much sleep debt, placing essential matters of life in a secondary position, they're destroying their health and clearly not valuing themselves.

Lack of sleep can result in the ineffective removal of waste from the cerebrospinal fluid, leading to slow reactions, irritability, and even making erroneous decisions.

Looking back at 2010, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 crashed into the Mediterranean Sea just five minutes after take-off, with no survivors. Initially suspected to be a terror attack or due to thunderstorms, the investigation revealed an unexpected truth: both pilots suffered from prolonged sleep deprivation and extreme fatigue, causing a minor mistake.

The captain flew continuously in a fatigued state for as long as 45 days prior to the flight, having only a brief rest before this flight and feeling drowsy but still forced to execute the flight. Despite strictly adhering to duty and not relaxing, a foggy consciousness made it impossible to correct errors in time.

Don't take youth for granted, and don't let your body operate beyond its capacity without concern. Regret arrives too late when the Grim Reaper appears.

If you don't value your body, how can your body value you?

Maintaining good sleep habits, going to bed and waking up early, helps you become more focused and committed to your work.

If life is a gamble, a healthy body is your winning hand.

"Your pathway to a good life lies only one step away: a good night's sleep.

There's a story I once heard:

Emily, dubbed by New York media as the "Wall Street future star," was a senior actuary. She worked diligently, displaying remarkable competence in her job. However, soon after, she suffered from severe depression, becoming emotionally unstable. Her career took a downturn, leaving her exhausted.

In many sleepless nights, she confronted her breakdown alone.

One day, Emily, feeling helpless, turned to a priest at the church, asking why she faced such anguish and torment despite her flourishing career, questioning what she might have done wrong.

The priest asked her, "What do you do every night?"

Feeling wronged, Emily replied, "I work hard."

The priest continued, "Do you give yourself time for a good night's sleep? Sufficient time to ease the negative emotions in your heart?"

Emily suddenly realized that the challenges of work are endless, and only through sufficient sleep could she replenish her energy.

Under the guidance of a doctor, she gave up her poor habit of staying up late and specifically focused on the quality and timing of deep sleep.

In just over half a year, her condition gradually improved, and her body began to recover.

We all know that sometimes our phones need to be shut down and rebooted.

If a person is not in a good state, they also need a complete sleep experience.

The comfortable life we dream of is hidden in a good night's sleep every night.

For those who can't sleep well, emotions become sensitive, making them unable to feel happiness, ultimately preventing them from truly enjoying the warmth of home.

Only with sufficient sleep and full rest can one maintain a complete memory and prevent life's rhythm from becoming chaotic.

If you've treated yourself poorly in the past, why not make a promise starting today: to sleep well.

May you fall asleep peacefully every night and wake up full of energy every day.

Only by sleeping well every night can one live a good life.

People who often stay up late have scattered thoughts. The more they want to sleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. Even if they do fall asleep, they easily experience light sleep and numerous dreams. Truly exceptional people won't spend too much energy and thoughts late at night, as excessive thinking only increases worries.

Regarding sleep, here are five methods to improve sleep quality:

1. Make the most of the golden 90 minutes. This is a crucial time for rapid physical recovery, as the brain and body are in a state of deep sleep. Create a comfortable, undisturbed sleep environment before bedtime.
2. The pillow needs to be appropriate. A familiar sleep environment is crucial to maintaining good sleep. Many people carry their accustomed pillow when traveling, as a suitable pillow offers the most comfortable sleep.
3. Create a good sleep environment. Bedroom temperature and lighting may affect sleep, so carefully create an environment conducive to sleep. Ventilate in advance, adjust the temperature and humidity, turn off light sources when sleeping to promote melatonin secretion. Sleeping in a clean, fresh, and quiet environment will make dreams sweeter.
4. Relax your brain and body. Thinking doesn't consume energy, so the brain remains active before sleep. It's best not to use your phone or think about the next day's tasks before sleep, allowing the brain to completely relax. Additionally, avoid strenuous exercise before sleep; some gentle exercises, such as yoga, are suitable.
5. Be mindful of pre-sleep diet. Dinner should not be too heavy, and avoid drinking coffee or strong tea at night, as this not only reduces the gastrointestinal burden and the frequency of nocturnal awakenings but also prevents accelerated heartbeats. Drinking warm milk before sleep can make you sleep better.

Having a good night's sleep is the most important investment for adults. Health will always be the most valuable wealth. Remember, health is the 1, and wealth is the later 0. With health (1), one can achieve a lot of wealth (0); but if you lose health (1), everything goes back to zero.

The world always appreciates those who can discipline themselves to sleep. Please don't waste sleep because good sleep continuously nurtures life. Even amidst the busy life, by enhancing sleep quality, you can take more control of life's rhythm. May you fall asleep worry-free and meet each brand-new day with full vitality."

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Early Hours, New Heights

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Early Hours, New Heights

"How do those who consistently wake up at 6 am fare afterward?"

"It was initially very difficult, impossible to get up at all. But gradually, after making it a habit, one realized its value. Waking up an hour early enables you to accomplish so much. Not only does it improve mental state significantly, but it also doubles work efficiency, making life quality better and better. Being a better person begins with waking up early. Early rising is not merely a habit but an expression of one's control over life and attitude towards life.

What impact does waking up early or late have on life? How does life differ with waking up early or late?

Renowned writer Damon Zahariades recorded his own experience in the book "Morning Makeover." For a period, after quitting his job, he would only get up after 10 a.m. After waking up, he'd surf the web, read the news, browse blogs, and check various websites, then have breakfast. If something urgent needed attention, he'd head out around 11 a.m. If not, he'd stay home until around 1 p.m. He'd feel directionless, at a loss, and very anxious. There's a saying online: "If you can't manage time, you can't manage anything. Time is the scarcest resource in the world. Without strict management, you'll achieve nothing."

To change this situation, Damon decided to wake up early. He started waking up at 4 a.m., having a cup of coffee, reviewing previous work, then spending over an hour reading and writing. After a while, he found his mental state improving gradually. Having something to do, waking up early, eliminated confusion. Life became regular and full of vitality every day. Aristotle once said: "It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom." Early rising and late rising lead to entirely different lives.

Waking up late may bring brief satisfaction, but it leaves very limited time. Often, there's no time even to have breakfast before rushing out for work, leaving a person exhausted upon reaching the workplace. However, waking up an hour earlier enables one to manage time more calmly. For instance, there's time to tidy up, have breakfast, and take kids to school in an organized manner. After completing these tasks, there's leisure time left for oneself to enjoy some precious moments alone. A disciplined lifestyle starts with waking up early. When waking up early becomes a habit, we gain more control over life.

Invest in the morning to take control of your life.

Ever heard the saying, "He who conquers the morning, conquers life"? Mornings are the best time to invest in yourself, and waking up early can transform your life. There's a person who has maintained a habit of rising around 5 am for over a decade, utilizing this time for self-improvement.

At different stages of her life, the habit of early rising significantly aided her. During her university days, her English proficiency was poor; she was the only student in the class who failed the English Level 4 exam. To enhance her English, she started waking up early for study, and her perseverance over many years made her proficient in English, eventually passing the exam.

Entering the professional world, she used her early mornings to read professional and career-related books, rapidly adapting to the work environment and mastering work skills. Once she became adept at work, she devoted her early mornings to reading books she enjoyed, gradually embarking on the path of writing. Throughout the changes in her job experiences, shifts in her social circle, and the transformations in her life after graduation, her consistent habit remained waking up early.

Early rising is considered the lowest-cost self-discipline method for adults. The first 2-3 hours after waking up each day are deemed the brain's golden time. Utilizing this period well can significantly enhance one's life. If someone wishes to learn new skills or study for professional certificates but cannot find the appropriate time, early mornings serve as an ideal time slot for reading, practice, and preparation. It's an investment in learning, offering an increase in knowledge, cognition, and skills.

Some individuals may be accustomed to staying up late and waking up late, missing the opportunity for breakfast. Waking up early grants ample time to relish a delightful breakfast, an investment in health that can bestow a healthier body.

If someone is interested in cultivating new hobbies to enrich their leisure life, waking up early is an ideal time slot. It can be used for activities like flower arranging, baking, painting, or handicrafts—an investment in hobbies that can enrich one's spiritual life and lead to a more extraordinary self.

Time is the most precious resource. Intelligent individuals learn to value time, learn to wake up early, and fully utilize the golden morning hours to empower their personal growth.

The Miraculous Early Rising Plan that can Transform Your Life

For many, waking up early is a challenging task. Even though alarms are set and they continually remind themselves to wake up early the next day, when the alarm rings the following morning, some choose to switch it off and continue sleeping. The intention to wake up is long forgotten by then.

Is there an effective method to help oneself wake up early? From initially being unable to wake up early to making it a habit, this process can be an effective method for waking up early.

Here are three steps from his method, for reference:

Step 1: Evening mental conditioning. This step is crucial because the first thought in the morning is usually the last thought before falling asleep. Some positive mental conditioning can be done before bedtime. For example, setting waking up early to prepare a hearty breakfast for yourself or your family, dropping off the kids at school, tidying the house, or preparing for the day's outings, etc. Setting goals inspires motivation.

Step 2: Place the alarm clock far away. Placing the alarm clock far from the bed will force oneself to leave the bed and start moving. Movement generates energy. Once out of bed, the body naturally becomes more awake.

Step 3: Directly brush your teeth.

If, after leaving the bed, the desire to continue sleeping persists, immediately go to brush your teeth. Squeeze toothpaste, start brushing, and wash your face with hot or cold water. These simple actions can help invigorate your waking consciousness.

So, after successfully waking up, how can one quickly get into a working state?

1. Engage in light exercise. For instance, do some stretching, morning exercises, or sit down for a few minutes of meditation. This not only stretches the body and dispels drowsiness but also awakens vitality.
2. Record the day's to-do list. Write down the tasks to be completed that day and arrange them by urgency. This methodical action can prevent confusion and omissions, ensuring that no valuable time is wasted.
3. Go outside for exercise. Walk, jog, breathe in the fresh air, and embrace nature. Exercise helps to speed up metabolism, increase energy consumption, not only boosting mental states but also enhancing work efficiency.

These methods can be tailored according to individual circumstances. For optimal results, it requires gradual progression and long-term consistency. After all, "haste makes waste," and a disciplined life requires enduring persistence.

Some say, "Everyone has the same 24 hours, but it's individual choices that determine the value of this day." While we can't change the length of time, we can expand its breadth. Waking up a little earlier, being disciplined, persisting bit by bit—over time, life will be different.

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Truth or Tact at work

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Truth or Tact at work

There exists a group of individuals in life who exhibit tremendous patience, obedience, yet seldom receive the fitting benefits. These individuals endure unfair treatment, refrain from refusing others' requests, and fail to actively seek their rights. Despite their efforts, they frequently find themselves unrewarded and eventually trapped in a dilemma of "the more honest you are, the more vulnerable you become." Everyone is striving at work, hoping for corresponding rewards. However, any job is far from being simple, and around 80% of life's pain usually originates from work. If you've recently felt unhappy due to work, perhaps consider changing your mindset and tell yourself: It's just work; there's no need to be too honest.

Work should be diligent and hardworking, but maintaining a student-like mindset is unnecessary.

"Because you're too obedient, sometimes what leaders fear is an overly obedient employee." This is a typical student mindset. Employees merely respond with "okay, okay, okay" and never proactively provide opinions or suggestions. Even when assigned a task, they merely address the specified points without further contemplation, akin to students fulfilling assignments by rote and command.

Nevertheless, the workplace is not like an exam, especially not a closed-book exam, and hence there's no fixed standard answer. Even if the leader raises questions, experienced professionals in the workplace often broadly seek help to provide appropriate solutions.

There's a little story about a boy attempting to lift a huge stone; his father encouraged him, saying, "As long as you put in all your effort, I believe you can lift it." The boy tried with all his strength, but the stone remained unmoved, and then he said, "I have given my all." His father responded, "You haven't given it your all; I've been here beside you, and you haven't sought help. Giving your all doesn't just mean using all your strength but also utilizing all the resources available to solve the current difficulty."

Many professionals in the workplace, like the boy lifting the stone, toil away diligently but fail to seek help. Perhaps they haven't realized they can seek help, or maybe they are unwilling to trouble others. In reality, solving any complex issue is a result of seeking assistance from various quarters.

"Social wealth is not allocated; it requires active acquisition by people." Learning to harness external support is also a skill, as an individual's solo efforts can't compare with collaborative group efforts.

Be careful not to compromise too much in everything; this behaviour may derail you at work.

Let me share a story of a former colleague. One day, he suddenly confided in me that he was dismissed from the company, which left me extremely surprised. He was a diligent and honest person, always willingly putting in extra hours at work without complaints. Colleagues often sought his help, and he never refused, always ready to be of service. Although he was terribly worn out, he never found the courage to express his dissatisfaction. He thought that his leaders would appreciate these efforts, but he never expected that despite all he did, he was eventually laid off, citing business restructuring and poor output. Before leaving, he said to me, "In the workplace, don't get too emotionally invested, or you'll end up like me." I felt sorry for him, but I suddenly understood the harsh reality of the workplace. The workplace does not favour those who are excessively honest. Many times, your troubles and grievances come from your 'I'm sorry' attitude. Such toil without accomplishment is ultimately seen as in vain. Leaders focus on results, hence dealing with matters effectively is key. Being truly responsible at work doesn't mean doing everything; it's about achieving significant success in the most crucial matters. Just like Warren Buffet's "5/25 Rule": Retain the top 5 important things and avoid doing the remaining 20 that are easily distracting, to achieve success. Less is more; knowing how to refuse is wisdom in the workplace. Excessive compromise in everything may lead you to lose yourself on the path of life. Life is short; don't let 'I'm sorry' ruin your life.

Learn to avoid self-consumption; that's the way out for honest people.

I once saw an article: A couple riding a donkey, and someone commented: 'these two are cruel, both riding on the donkey.' The wife got off, the husband rode, and the bystander said: 'The man is really selfish, making his wife walk.' So, the husband also rode the donkey, and the wife walked. But then someone speculated: 'The man is afraid of his wife, right?'

Finally, both had to walk alongside the donkey, and someone jeered: 'These two are so silly; they don't even ride the donkey!' This story is like a joke, and after reading it, you might laugh and think, 'How could people be so silly?' However, we often fall into the same trap in life, trying to please everyone.

Honest people are prone to excessive concern over these evaluations, affecting their emotions, resulting in inner turmoil. For instance, if the boss gets upset, you repeatedly replay the situation, guessing if you offended them; or when you send a message to a colleague and don't get a reply, you repeatedly think whether you said something wrong and became annoying; or feeling upset because you can't find a common topic with a colleague...

All these mental activities are actually unnecessary and should not exist. We can never please everyone. If we always measure ourselves against others' standards, we won't find the right path. To live a more relaxed life, cultivate a mindset that resists self-consumption and maintains inner stability. Though praise from others is good, excessive attention to criticism is unnecessary.

The 5 “balls” of life

Each of us juggles five "balls" in our lives: family, work, health, friends, and the soul. Among these five "balls," only work is made of rubber, it can be damaged and still bounce back. The other four "balls" are made of glass, once broken, they cannot be restored. If we make work the sole meaning of life, not only will it be dull, but it will also be futile.

It is because work is just a part of life, not all of it. Those who focus too much on work might lose some joy.

Remember, the purpose of work is to support life, not to burden it. Work is just a role; don't take it too seriously."

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The Relaxed Journey

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