There exists a group of individuals in life who exhibit tremendous patience, obedience, yet seldom receive the fitting benefits. These individuals endure unfair treatment, refrain from refusing others' requests, and fail to actively seek their rights. Despite their efforts, they frequently find themselves unrewarded and eventually trapped in a dilemma of "the more honest you are, the more vulnerable you become." Everyone is striving at work, hoping for corresponding rewards. However, any job is far from being simple, and around 80% of life's pain usually originates from work. If you've recently felt unhappy due to work, perhaps consider changing your mindset and tell yourself: It's just work; there's no need to be too honest.
Work should be diligent and
hardworking, but maintaining a student-like mindset is unnecessary.
"Because
you're too obedient, sometimes what leaders fear is an overly obedient employee."
This is a typical student mindset. Employees merely respond with "okay,
okay, okay" and never proactively provide opinions or suggestions. Even
when assigned a task, they merely address the specified points without further
contemplation, akin to students fulfilling assignments by rote and command.
Nevertheless,
the workplace is not like an exam, especially not a closed-book exam, and hence
there's no fixed standard answer. Even if the leader raises questions,
experienced professionals in the workplace often broadly seek help to provide
appropriate solutions.
There's a
little story about a boy attempting to lift a huge stone; his father encouraged
him, saying, "As long as you put in all your effort, I believe you can
lift it." The boy tried with all his strength, but the stone remained
unmoved, and then he said, "I have given my all." His father
responded, "You haven't given it your all; I've been here beside you, and
you haven't sought help. Giving your all doesn't just mean using all your
strength but also utilizing all the resources available to solve the current
difficulty."
Many
professionals in the workplace, like the boy lifting the stone, toil away
diligently but fail to seek help. Perhaps they haven't realized they can seek
help, or maybe they are unwilling to trouble others. In reality, solving any
complex issue is a result of seeking assistance from various quarters.
"Social
wealth is not allocated; it requires active acquisition by people."
Learning to harness external support is also a skill, as an individual's solo
efforts can't compare with collaborative group efforts.
Be careful not to compromise too much
in everything; this behaviour may derail you at work.
Let me share
a story of a former colleague. One day, he suddenly confided in me that he was
dismissed from the company, which left me extremely surprised. He was a
diligent and honest person, always willingly putting in extra hours at work
without complaints. Colleagues often sought his help, and he never refused,
always ready to be of service. Although he was terribly worn out, he never
found the courage to express his dissatisfaction. He thought that his leaders
would appreciate these efforts, but he never expected that despite all he did,
he was eventually laid off, citing business restructuring and poor output.
Before leaving, he said to me, "In the workplace, don't get too
emotionally invested, or you'll end up like me." I felt sorry for him, but
I suddenly understood the harsh reality of the workplace. The workplace does
not favour those who are excessively honest. Many times, your troubles and
grievances come from your 'I'm sorry' attitude. Such toil without
accomplishment is ultimately seen as in vain. Leaders focus on results, hence
dealing with matters effectively is key. Being truly responsible at work
doesn't mean doing everything; it's about achieving significant success in the
most crucial matters. Just like Warren Buffet's "5/25 Rule": Retain
the top 5 important things and avoid doing the remaining 20 that are easily
distracting, to achieve success. Less is more; knowing how to refuse is wisdom
in the workplace. Excessive compromise in everything may lead you to lose
yourself on the path of life. Life is short; don't let 'I'm sorry' ruin your
life.
Learn to avoid self-consumption;
that's the way out for honest people.
I once saw an
article: A couple riding a donkey, and someone commented: 'these two are cruel,
both riding on the donkey.' The wife got off, the husband rode, and the
bystander said: 'The man is really selfish, making his wife walk.' So, the
husband also rode the donkey, and the wife walked. But then someone speculated:
'The man is afraid of his wife, right?'
Finally, both
had to walk alongside the donkey, and someone jeered: 'These two are so silly;
they don't even ride the donkey!' This story is like a joke, and after reading
it, you might laugh and think, 'How could people be so silly?' However, we
often fall into the same trap in life, trying to please everyone.
Honest people
are prone to excessive concern over these evaluations, affecting their
emotions, resulting in inner turmoil. For instance, if the boss gets upset, you
repeatedly replay the situation, guessing if you offended them; or when you
send a message to a colleague and don't get a reply, you repeatedly think whether
you said something wrong and became annoying; or feeling upset because you
can't find a common topic with a colleague...
All these
mental activities are actually unnecessary and should not exist. We can never
please everyone. If we always measure ourselves against others' standards, we
won't find the right path. To live a more relaxed life, cultivate a mindset
that resists self-consumption and maintains inner stability. Though praise from
others is good, excessive attention to criticism is unnecessary.
The 5 “balls” of life
Each of us
juggles five "balls" in our lives: family, work, health, friends, and
the soul. Among these five "balls," only work is made of rubber, it
can be damaged and still bounce back. The other four "balls" are made
of glass, once broken, they cannot be restored. If we make work the sole
meaning of life, not only will it be dull, but it will also be futile.
It is because
work is just a part of life, not all of it. Those who focus too much on work
might lose some joy.
Remember, the
purpose of work is to support life, not to burden it. Work is just a role;
don't take it too seriously."
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