Friday, November 8, 2024

Beyond the Bank Account: The Deepest Middle-Age Sorrows

Middle age can bring about complex emotions and anxieties, and one of the main sorrows is that even though they've achieved a certain level of success in their careers and might have attained a certain level of material wealth; they still feel a sense of inner emptiness and lack. This kind of sorrow can originate from inner quests and reflections. Wealth and a sense of achievement often cannot fill the inner void. Past aspirations might not have met expectations, and uncertainties about the future and life after retirement can bring about unease.

Additionally, middle age is often accompanied by family responsibilities, such as taking care of aging parents or raising children, which adds pressure, making individuals feel more squeezed and anxious. As age advances, physical changes and concerns about health can also be worrisome.

Moreover, middle age is a period for self-reflection, which might lead to confusion and regret about past choices and the direction of life. This self-reflection and quest for the meaning of life can trigger a kind of inner pain and anxiety, leaving individuals feeling emotionally empty and lost.

Inner Emptiness

The inner emptiness experienced by middle-aged individuals can stem from various factors, such as life changes, shifts in family responsibilities, the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment, personal stress, and societal expectations. Let's delve deeper into these factors:

  1. Change and Loss: Middle-aged individuals might face changes like retiring from a career, children growing up, or the loss of loved ones. These changes lead them to lose what was once the focus of their lives, causing confusion and emptiness.
  2. Diminished Family Responsibilities: With children reaching adulthood, the reduction in family responsibilities might leave middle-aged individuals feeling adrift without a central focus in life.
  3. Quest for Meaning: Middle-aged individuals often begin to contemplate the meaning of life and their personal values. Many might feel empty as they lack a clear understanding of their life goals and values.
  4. Psychological Stress and Anxiety: Reassessing one's success and achievements, especially in comparison to societal and personal expectations, might lead to psychological stress and anxiety.
  5. Societal Expectations: Some cultures view middle-aged individuals as a stage of career success and stable family life. Inability to meet these expectations can result in feelings of emptiness and loss.

The inner feeling of emptiness resulting from these factors may have an impact on the emotions and psychological state of middle-aged individuals. Therefore, recognizing and dealing with these emotions correctly is crucial in helping them overcome the sense of inner emptiness.

Middle age might be accompanied by a sense of inner emptiness. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the inner emptiness that comes with middle age:

  1. Reignite passion: Explore new hobbies or interests, such as engaging in art, volunteering, or learning new skills. These activities can reignite passion.
  2. Build a social circle: Maintain contact with friends and family, engage in social activities. Attending gatherings, events, or joining interest groups can reduce feelings of loneliness.
  3. Seek psychological support: Talk to a counsellor or therapist. Having someone to confide in can be a good way to alleviate inner stress.
  4. Exercise: Physical activity releases chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, aiding in mood improvement.
  5. Focus on personal growth: Set clear goals and plans, whether in the workplace, personal development, or learning. The process of growth and the progress achieved can fill the void.
  6. Find inner peace: Learn meditation or relaxation techniques. This can help soothe inner anxieties and unease.
  7. Acknowledge oneself: Value achievements and experiences while accepting one's shortcomings. Self-esteem is the first step in dispelling inner emptiness.
  8. Challenge oneself: Set new goals and achieve them gradually. Challenging oneself helps maintain vitality and motivation.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help alleviate the sense of inner emptiness that might arise in middle age. Different people have different ways of dealing with these feelings, so finding the right approach for oneself is crucial.

Health

Middle age is an important stage in life, and the maintenance and management of health are crucial. During middle age, individuals might face various health challenges. Lifestyle choices become more critical, including dietary habits, exercise, and mental health. Maintaining a balanced diet and moderate exercise are paramount for overall health. Additionally, regular check-ups and communication with healthcare providers are essential in early detection of potential health issues.

Simultaneously, mental health is equally crucial. Middle-aged individuals may encounter increased stress from work, family, and anxiety about future plans, which can impact emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, learning relaxation and self-care techniques is crucial, such as meditation, reading, exercise, engaging in art, and spending time with family and friends.

To maintain health in middle age, attention must be given to the balance between physical and mental health. It's not just about physical well-being; mental and emotional health are equally significant because health is a comprehensive concept that encompasses the individual’s physical, mental, and social well-being.

Dreams

Middle age is a period to re-evaluate life and dreams. Many people begin to reconsider their goals and dreams during this phase to ensure a richer and more meaningful life.

Some might seek personal growth and learn new skills. This could involve exploring new hobbies, learning a new language, pursuing further education, or reigniting interests once set aside in their youth.

For others, middle age is a time to review career and family objectives. They may begin to pursue more meaningful careers or prioritize family harmony and happiness.

Some individuals may redirect their focus towards traveling and exploration, seeking broader horizons and discovering new cultures and landscapes.

In middle age, dreams are not limited to personal development alone. They encompass expectations and aspirations for family, career, and the world. This is a period to redefine life goals and meanings.

The Importance of Middle-Aged Dreams lies in representing an individual's deep inner pursuits and values. These dreams can offer motivation and guidance, making life feel more meaningful and worth pursuing. Here's why middle-aged dreams are significant:

  1. Guiding Life's Direction: Middle-aged dreams are the goals and visions individuals set for their desired and aspired future. They can guide a person's direction in life and serve as markers for personal growth.
  2. Inspiration and Drive: Having dreams can inspire internal drive, urging individuals to continually seek growth and improvement. They can be a driving force for personal success and fulfilment.
  3. Psychological Fulfilment: Achieving middle-aged dreams can bring internal satisfaction and happiness. Whether it's learning new skills, exploring through travel, caring for family, or attaining financial security, realizing these dreams can provide a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment.
  4. Fostering Personal Growth: Middle-aged dreams contribute to higher levels of personal growth, constantly pushing individuals to exceed themselves. By pursuing these dreams, people can continue learning, developing skills, and broadening their experiences.
  5. Shaping Life Values: Realizing dreams can help individuals understand themselves more clearly, defining their values and objectives, which positively impacts both the individual and their family.

In conclusion, middle-aged dreams are a crucial part of life. They provide direction, inspiration, and impetus, serving as vital sources for personal growth and psychological fulfilment.

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Crafting a Better 'You'

Listen: Podcast

Friday, November 1, 2024

Crafting a Better 'You'

Life is a process of self-cultivation. Striving to improve yourself is never too late, no matter when you begin. Here are five ways to change yourself, and by adhering to just two points, you can witness a significant transformation:

  1. Improve Health Through Exercise

Have you ever experienced this: climbing a few flights of stairs leaves you gasping for breath when the elevator malfunctions; a short walk outside results in exhaustion, requiring you to sit down and rest after just a few steps? Catching a slight chill easily, making you unable to cope. Many joke that they are "less agile in the upper body and less enduring in the lower body," some are even afraid to undergo a physical examination and read their medical reports.

Somewhere along the way, we've all become part of the "sub-healthy" population: our limbs are inflexible, prone to illness, and constantly fatigued.

As the saying goes: "Water that does not flow becomes stagnant, and a door that does not open gets dust." The human body also needs to move.

Sweat and footfalls will stir the energy in your body. Regular visits to the gym will gradually restore your body's various indicators to normal; practicing yoga every day will not only relax your muscles and bones but also bring a sense of inner calm and clarity to your mind.

Exercise is not just a source of health but also a secret to longevity. Exercise is the key to unlocking a better life. Even when busy, don’t forget to keep your body active.

It doesn't require too much time; half an hour of exercise daily will change your life.

  1. Transforming Appearance through Discipline

What changes could you make in 30 days with high discipline? A middle-aged stay-at-home guy, wanting to improve his greasy appearance, embarked on a 30-day "remodelling plan":

In these 30 days, he commuted by bicycle, walked 10,000 steps every day, and gave up sugar.

After a month, his belly disappeared, his body became toned, and he exuded a new vitality.

Thirty days of high discipline made him feel rejuvenated.

He proved through his own experience: discipline is the best way to shape one's external image.

"A person's appearance reflects their disciplined way of life and pursuit of life. Spend some time each day grooming yourself; a neat appearance multiplies self-confidence. Allocate time to read more books, subtly elevating one's overall temperament. Manage your posture properly to say goodbye to greasiness and rekindle your youthful style. A good external appearance is the best adornment for life, and those who take themselves seriously will attain a better destiny."

Few are naturally gifted with perfect looks, but discipline can help everyone create a better version of themselves.

Appearance and temperament form the first impression one gives.

Without words or actions, your appearance speaks for you.

By shaping your appearance through discipline, you'll lead a unique life.

  1. Improving Relationships with Sincerity

"Only by sincerely caring for others can you touch their hearts. While we seem to care for others, in the end, we're also taking care of ourselves."

Interpersonal relationships are always mutual; only sincerity can beget sincerity.

Be sincere to people, and they'll be less wary; be reliable in your actions, and people will trust you.

There's no shortcut to sincerity; sincerity is the path itself.

If you see a friend in trouble, don't give insincere gestures; make every effort to help, and you'll gain more genuine friendship. In business dealings, don't play cunning tricks; approach cooperation with an altruistic heart, and eventually, you'll benefit too.

Deep down, everyone yearns for genuine connections with others.

No one willingly endures insincere relationships.

In this world, lasting collaborations are never maintained through acting.

By enhancing relationships through sincerity, we feel the tenderness of the world

  1. Enhancing Abilities through Learning

Someone once asked, "How does one become useless?" Someone offered a straightforward answer:

All you need to do is give them internet, a mobile phone, and the contact numbers of a few food delivery riders.

Being lazy and idle is too easy. What's truly challenging is breaking out of your comfort zone and not becoming complacent.

The only way to step out of the comfort zone is through active learning and exploring the unknown.

In economics, there's a concept called "marginal benefit." If you learn an extra 1% every day, in 365 days, your abilities will improve 37 times. Reading more books broadens your perspectives and enhances your thinking skills; learning a new skill enriches your life and enhances your employability; seeking advice from experienced individuals expands your social circle and hones your communication skills. Do not underestimate these cumulative actions - over time, they will bring you tremendous surprises.

We often lament the unpredictable changes and cut-throat competition in our times. To avoid being eliminated, we try various methods. However, we ultimately find that improving our abilities is the best way to face challenges.

In nature, there's a fierce fish, highly powerful with hardly any natural enemies. It has over 500 teeth, constantly replacing 3% of its old teeth daily to grow sharp new ones. It's this powerful self-evolution that makes the fish the mightiest hunter in the ocean.

In real life, we also need to follow the jungle law of the "survival of the fittest." Yet, there's no need to fear. As long as we continue learning and evolving, we can adapt to various life environments.

  1. Character

Our internal qualities create opportunities for us and lead to wealth. Holding an umbrella for someone might shelter you in a storm; lighting up someone's darkness might illuminate your path.

Everything has cause and effect. What you do for others will reciprocate to you at some point.

An unintentional kind thought or act might be an opportunity to change fate. Kindness is the best identity one can have in the world.

Persist in being a kind person, and you will never lose out.

Life is like a miniature sculpture, and the chisel is in your hands. Exchange health through exercise, elevate your temperament through discipline, nurture relationships through sincerity, enhance abilities through learning, and shape life through character.

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Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Listen: Podcast

Friday, October 25, 2024

Unveiling the Unspoken: 15 Truths of Society

Wherever there's human interaction, there's bound to be conflict. In this intricate social landscape, lacking an understanding of social nuances inevitably leads to many detours. Today, I'm sharing 15 profound unspoken truths in the adult world. These truths are succinct, yet each carries profound implications. Whether it's about work, relationships, or life in general, grasping these rules is bound to yield rewards.

About Human Relations:

  1. Your kindness to others is like a piece of sugar—once given, it vanishes. Your malice towards others is like a scar—it remains forever. That's human nature. When we are young, everyone might be genuine, anticipating authentic emotions to be exchanged.

However, after a series of hurts, one understands that relationships among adults don't necessarily result in infinite gratitude with each deep emotional investment. Unconditional giving only leads to self-harm. As the saying goes, "Tea shouldn't be too strong, food shouldn't be too much." Remember; never be overly kind to someone.

  1. In this world, genuinely wishing others well is rare; most people are silently waiting for you to fail. When you're just as ordinary as those around you, you'll be friends. However, once you achieve success, the number of friends around you is destined to decrease. Your success might unwittingly provoke dissatisfaction in most people.

The more you possess, the more uncomfortable they might feel. They dislike their poverty and fear your wealth. They despise what you have and mock your shortcomings—such is the case for most relationships.

  1. Growing up, I realized that sometimes even when telling the truth, one should apologize to the other person because it reflects the reality. Therefore, to ensure a smooth life, do not be too truthfully.

When we were young, teachers often taught us to be honest and good children. However, it's in adulthood that we comprehend that not all facts can be expressed directly; not all truths can be spoken without reserve. Sometimes, your frankness might inadvertently hurt someone's pride; at times, speaking without thinking might make a harmonious atmosphere awkward.

Speaking the truth may be candid but could potentially cause harm to others, while silence might seem weak yet maintain mutual dignity. In the adult world, some things are better left unsaid rather than brought to the surface. It's not hypocritical but rather a display of high emotional intelligence.

  1. Never try to change anyone, not even your parents or partner. Eventually, you'll find that, despite a lifetime of effort, you cannot change anyone.

Often, people feel miserable because they hold high expectations of those around them. A son might expect wealthy and open-minded parents; a husband might expect an intellectual and entertaining wife. As a result, we try our best to shape the other person into the ideal image in our minds.

However, this attempt may only lead to a chaotic drama. Understand that every person is an independent individual with habits and characteristics that are difficult to change. Instead of interfering in others' lives, it's better to strive to change yourself.


About Work:

  1. Don't be quick to quit your job just because you face setbacks at work. Even if you leave, the world will keep turning, but losing your job might throw your life into trouble. Everyone feels pressure at work. Perhaps it's a difficult client, a stern boss, or a troublesome colleague. There are always one or two people who annoy us, and moments that make us frustrated. As the saying goes: 80% of life's pain comes from work. But without work, you'd face 100% of pain from "no money". For regular folks like us, it's not that work needs us; it's that we need work. Instead of complaining all day and rushing to quit at the slightest dissatisfaction, the mature approach is to conscientiously do your job well.
  2. The workplace only recognizes accomplishments, not hard work. The workplace doesn't care about tears, it cares about value. Even if you give your all to the company, working late into the night and sacrificing rest, if you don't produce results, all your efforts will be in vain. What others care about is your ability and what you've achieved. If you can't create value, and the boss doesn't fire you, it means you're lucky.
  3. If you lack the ability to clean up a mess, don't indulge erratic emotions. One of the worst types in the workplace: lack of ability and large emotional fluctuations. A leader slightly criticizes, and you immediately explode; a colleague offers friendly advice, and you instantly lose control of your emotions. But afterward, the situation is a mess, and you're helpless, only able to awkwardly face the ridicule of those around you. "Everyone has negative emotions. Truly cultured individuals control their emotions without affecting others." Stabilizing emotions is an important quality for adults and your greatest advantage.
  4. Every company has things that dissatisfy you; don't blindly believe other companies are better and your company is worse. People always look at other's views from their own standpoint. Holding a high salary, yet envying a more relaxed environment elsewhere; having work freedom but longing for the treatment elsewhere. We often see problems within our own company but idealize others' work environments. Just like the old saying: "Seeing someone else's meat, but not seeing how hard they raised the pig." Other's splendour may just be surface-level, and the efforts they put in might be hard to imagine. So, better to focus on your own work, give your best and the desired rewards will naturally follow.

About Growth:

  1. Having studied right and wrong for over twenty years, I've discovered that reality emphasizes only winning or losing. In the world of adults, many situations aren't merely about what's right or wrong but about the strength of capabilities. We once thought that the world was all about fairness. However, reality inadvertently tells you: the strong triumph over the weak; that's the actual situation in this society. Hence, striving to become powerful is more critical than anything else.
  2. If you come from a family with "the three no's" (no resources, no vision, no background), it's best not to listen to the advice of relatives and friends around you.

Do you have such relatives around you? They tend to enjoy giving advice to others, especially when it comes to choosing a partner or about life. They always emphasize their experiences as richer than others. But the truth is, their awareness is decades behind. When encountering such self-righteous relatives, it's best to listen to their opinions less. Following their advice might likely lead you onto the same life path they're on.

  1. The path to ascend is always difficult, while the road to decline is often wide open.

In this era, changing one's fate is not an easy task for an ordinary person. But you must understand: society is like a deep and boundless flood, and everyone must exert themselves fully to avoid being submerged. Although diligence and ambition can't guarantee wealth, laziness will surely reset you to ground zero. Not working hard might expose you to a sudden blow from life at any moment, leading you into despair.

  1. Exercise, regular meals, and consistent reading – whenever you feel lost in life, these practices are the right choices.

In this rapidly advancing modern society, ordinary individuals are swept along by this tide. Throughout this process, everyone encounters moments of confusion and doubt. If you're feeling lost, concentrate on living well in the present. Maintain good sleeping habits, allocate more time for reading, and exercise when possible. Persisting for a year, even if you still haven't found a clear goal, can grant you a robust body and a rich mind. These are enough to surpass 80% of your peers.

About Life:

  1. Life's journey might be long, but the truly crucial steps are only a few. At various crossroads in everyone's life, decisions present themselves. Choosing a major in high school, selecting a career path in college, finding a partner after graduation... The path of life doesn't come with standard answers; it's a process of personal exploration, step by step. What truly protect you are the choices you make. Conversely, these very choices might also harm you.
  2. Anything that pleases you will eventually cause you pain; anything that causes you pain will ultimately lead to your achievements. Instant gratification, like short videos or online gaming, may immediately satisfy you. But this gratification will only sink your life deeper. On the contrary, long-term learning is challenging, focusing on work is equally hard. But as long as you persist, fate will change silently. In this world, there's no easily gained success; every transformation comes at the cost of pain.
  3. Understanding numerous principles yet failing to lead a good life. This is because comprehending principles is easy, but practice is hard. The most significant challenge in life is the enormous gap between knowing and doing. Knowing you're overweight but still overeating; understanding your laziness, yet remaining lackadaisical. There's a saying: it's easy to deceive or console oneself but challenging to confront oneself. Only by truly acknowledging one's shortcomings and striving to change can life transform. These 15 truths are not only the essence of society but also real-life truths.

May you benefit from these, continually self-improving on this lengthy life journey to lead a more fulfilling life.

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Living Fully: A Guide for Adults to Cherish Life

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