Friday, January 7, 2022

One’s greatest upbringing is to forgive parents’ imperfections


I once saw a post: "Why do one always lose control of their temper and want to blame their parents when they make a naive mistake?" The answer that impressed me the most was: We are angry with our parents, but not angry they did something wrong, but angry that they shouldn't be the wrongdoer.

They used to tell you not to talk to strangers, but now they can blabber our family issues to random people who sell unknown health products on the street; they used to tell you not to anyhow spend money, but now they will just buy things we do not need but they are on discounts in the shopping centre; they used to tell you things you should do, but now they always break their promises.

The reason why you are unhappy is actually because you have discovered their imperfections, but you are still reluctant to admit and understand them.


Two or three years ago, my mother suddenly became fascinated with cheongsam. Every time she went shopping, she had to carry one or two pieces back. The colors of each cheongsam are mainly of red, green and purple. It was very ‘flashy’. Every time she puts on a new cheongsam, she had to stand in front of me and asked if she look good. My answer will very negative every time: "It's not good-looking."

I found my mother packing her cheongsam and preparing to give it to others one morning. I asked her what was wrong, she sighed and said disheartenedly: "I'm old and can't wear it anymore."

At that moment, I understood why she always asked me if she looked good. The affirmation of us as her children means that she is still young. But I understood it too late and had hurt her too many times inadvertently.

I have come across this short story: "I don’t remember loving my parents. When I was young, I was afraid of them, and when I was older, I began to bother them. When I grow even older, we will argue when we met, and since don’t know when, I began to look down on them. Although I know that I need to be responsible for them but I just cannot bring myself to do that.”

The stupidest way to show care and concern is to show your parents a nasty face and tell them: "You are wrong, you are so stupid", and you think you are doing them well.


There is a saying that goes: "When parents are getting older, it is always difficult to change their mindset. it is necessary to ask children to forgive their parents instead."

Let them ask questions that they can’t understand; let them make some naive mistakes; let them express some outdated opinions; let them do things they like, even though you may not agree with those things. Don't rush to preach to your parents. 

In many cases, filial piety is not to do what we think is good, but to make them feel good.

We always think that our parents are not perfect, but we don't know that they have silently paid a lot behind our backs in order to make you recognize them. As we grow up, we should gradually accept the fact that our parents are just ordinary people, and should gradually understand their difficulties.

When your parents are old, please remember to love them as they did when they loved you. Don't do things that will make you regret it, and don't wait until they are gone to leave regrets.

The greatest upbringing of a person is to forgive the imperfections of his parents. May I wish all the parents live a long and healthy life! We won't be here without them !

Read also:

There is a kind of happiness, that is to go home and eat

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