Managing oneself well is one's essential skill

Managing oneself well is one's essential skill

Life, in fact, is a game between oneself. Do not give up the demanding for self is a person's real ability.

1, Manage the image.

I don't know if you find that as you grow older, people around you are slowly becoming two groups: one group is being destroyed by the years into unkempt, out-of-shape "greasy" middle-aged; the other group seems to have eaten preservatives, maintain very well. The different groups have a very different attitude to life.

I agree with the saying, "Managing your image is not about superficiality, but about respect for yourself and admiration for life." The real ageing of a person is never the ageing, but the loss of the demand for self. Don't concede defeat to life, don't bow to the years. The best maintenance product in this world is your self-discipline and not settling for less.

2. Manage your body.

I read news. An entrepreneur was unwell because of prolonged exertion and was found to have myocardial ischemia when he went to the hospital. The doctor asked him to be hospitalised immediately for observation, but he did not take it to heart. Who would have thought that he would pass away suddenly a few days later. Overnight, his prestigious education and wealthy career, which he had been proud of, were all in vain.

Health is 1, everything else is 0. Once the 1 is gone, there is no point in having more 0s. All the health that was overdrawn will have to be repaid a hundred times over afterwards. Every time you go to bed early, wake up early and eat on time, you are building up your energy for tomorrow.

3. Manage your emotions.

When you encounter trouble, your mind explodes, turning a very simple matter into a mess; arguing with your lover over a trivial matter, turning over old scores when you are not in the right mind,  without being conscious, opening your mouth and saying hurtful things ...... We have all been consumed by sudden emotions at some point because of something, and many of life's regrets and regrets are often the result of this. People who are truly mature know how to manage their emotions. They never lose their temper that they shouldn't, they don't rush things, they don't get upset because of anger, and they never use bad emotions to affect others.

4. Managing social circles.

After dealing with all kinds of people, you will slowly understand: friends, quality is much more important than quantity. If you are only concerned about the circle of drinking and dining, you will neglect those who treat you sincerely.

The worldly and hypocritical circle of people should be cut off; the negative circle of people who consume you should be shed; the circle of people who do not belong to you should be left. To sift through friends is to sort out your life, and to manage your circle is also the beginning of refining yourself. When the circle is clean, people are comfortable; when the relationship is comfortable, people are comfortable.

People can only be responsible for others if they are responsible for themselves first. Self-management is a lifelong lesson for all of us.

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Do you own all six types of wealth?

 

When it comes to wealth, you probably immediately think of money. Money is indeed a type of wealth, but it is not the only form of wealth. Money is only a low-level form of wealth. If you put all your energy on pursuing this low-level form of wealth, you will lose the opportunity to win other forms of wealth.

When it comes to wealth, what do you think of? The top ten richest people in the world? Your relative in Australia has a bigger house, a nicer car, and a cottage on the hill? Or the billionaire CEO of your company? Professional athlete, musician or movie star?

Of course, all of these people are "rich" from a financial standpoint.

But money does not monopolize wealth. The definition of wealth is "a substantial amount of valuable material property or resource", but looking at this definition, money is not listed as the only valuable property or resource.

Which resources you consider valuable is as important as the abundance of the resources themselves. The key is to optimize for the right form of wealth.

Money

Money is the simplest and most obvious form of wealth because it can be quantified.

How much is your annual salary? $100,000.

How much is your house? $500,000.

How much will your child's college tuition cost? $50,000.

How much is your portfolio worth? $250,000.

Forbes magazine keeps track of the world's richest people in real time, so everyone can see how much money the super rich have.

Because monetary wealth is so easy to recognize, it becomes a point of comparison. Money is the only form of wealth that makes you look at your neighbour and say "I'm richer/poorer than him".

Money can become a knee-jerk competition. Just like any other competition, we want to beat our peers. Earn more money. Get more property. Indulge in more fun. Do whatever it takes to win the game.

But there is a point that is often overlooked. At a certain point, money can become an attractive scoreboard, but a poor measure of wealth. Money has diminishing returns.

This makes sense if you stop and think about it. When income is low, extra money can make a huge difference in the way you live. Paying rent will be easier. You will have security. You can also afford to take a vacation or two.

However, as your income continues to increase, you can buy a bigger house, better car, better meals and better clothes, but that's it, you can't do anything new. You're just paying more for a more luxurious rendition of your current lifestyle. If you can pay your bills, spend your money on experiences, and save/invest the rest, then you're doing pretty well. Everything else is icing on the cake.

There's actually a nasty paradox associated with having a lot of wealth:

Some luxuries won't make your life better, but losing them after experiencing them will definitely make your life worse.

Some people put money and wealth first, and are desperate to pursue money and wealth. The biggest problem with this approach is the opportunity cost associated with it. How many hours did it take to increase revenue from $250,000 to $500,000? What about $1 million? What about $10 million? How much do you need to earn? What other forms of wealth would you have to sacrifice to achieve that goal?

Is this really the game you want to win?

Knowledge

Knowledge, like money, is a cumulative form of wealth. However, unlike money, the "knowledge" possessed by people is difficult to compare. A polyglot, a chef, a world-class investor are all knowledgeable, but not in the same form.

Different people have different ways of acquiring knowledge. Someone learned Spanish by not being afraid to speak it, no matter how bad it was. Someone became a master chef by trying a lot of disgusting recipes. Someone became a great athlete by being a rookie for a long time, trying to make a big business, playing a thousand games of chess, exchanging stories with others... all these can help you accumulate more knowledge.

You gain knowledge for working to develop your skills and expertise, and you earn money for using those skills and expertise to help others.

But knowledge is not just a tool used to create wealth, it is wealth itself.

Gaining knowledge should not be viewed solely as a means to help you achieve other goals. Knowledge is a worthy goal in itself.

Time

If money is the most obvious form of wealth, time is its opposite. Time is an asset you can't see. Time has no such things as expensive possessions and a good salary to show off. Time is so indifferent that you hardly notice it.

If monetary wealth is best shown through luxuries, the abundance of time is best shown through nothingness.

Money and wealth are shown to the world on scoreboards, but time is measured in an hourglass that no one can see, not even you. As we earn more and more money, monetary wealth increases but time becomes scarcer. When you are the poorest financially, you are the one with the most time, but when we have the time, we rarely notice.

We realize the value of time only when it is almost running out.

In theory, the currency has unlimited upside. The world's richest man, Elon Musk, is now worth more than $200 billion. But one day, someone (maybe Musk!) could be worth $500 billion, or even $1 trillion. There is nothing you can do about this possibility.

Time is just the opposite. Our time is strictly limited, our money generally increases with age, but our time decreases with age. You can't buy more time, and you never know how much time you have left.

If wealth is measured in increments of time, young people are richer than anyone. Of course it would be great to have $100 billion. But if you're young, how many years are you willing to sacrifice for Bezos' fortune?

Or how about we turn the question around? How much do you think Bezos is willing to give to trade places with someone like me who is 25 years old and will never become a billionaire? Maybe all of them. He has pledged to invest billions of dollars in life extension technology.

We tend to be unaware of the presence of oxygen when it’s plentiful, but when it’s scarce we desperately want more, and our sense of time does the same. Once the money is spent, you can earn it again. When your time runs out, it's game over.

Opportunity cost is everything, how much is your hourglass worth?

Health

Health is the cousin of time. Like time, health is seldom thought of when one is healthy. When we are young, we tend to have a lot of health. So we eat and drink, never exercise, it's okay, you're young. We will rejuvenate quickly no matter what.

For example, in college, no matter how hard you mess with your body, you'll probably be fine.

But decisions have compound effects.

In finance, compound interest is a powerful force. Someone who invests an extra $200 a month may not see a difference in the early years, but after 30 years they could be hundreds of thousands of dollars more than someone else.

The clock keeps ticking.

But the power of compound interest is not limited to finance. In fact, its most valuable application is in health.

Inattentiveness to your health when you are young may not notice any effects early on, but as you get older, taking a laissez-faire approach to your well-being can be disastrous. What you eat starts to matter more and more. Whether or not you exercise starts to matter more and more.

As you age, your complexion darkens, your metabolism slows, and underlying health problems become more serious. At this point, the decisions you've made about your health start to snowball.

Like time, we rarely think about it when we have it. But what about when you lose it? Health will become the only thing you can think about. There is a saying that goes, "A healthy person has a thousand wishes, but a sick person has only one wish."

And that patient rarely gets his wish.

When you're broke but healthy, you have countless options. What's the point if you're rich but bedridden? What's the use of having a billion dollars if you have nothing to enjoy?

Relationship

If you lack relationships, all other forms of wealth become irrelevant. What's the use of asking for the money if there's no one to share it with you? Of course, you can go all the way to darkness on the road of single material enjoyment, but this will not bring you a sense of satisfaction.

The value of time and health depends on your ability to spend time with the people you care about. Otherwise, you're wasting your unscheduled schedule and capable body on frivolous distractions.

It's good to have a lot of knowledge, but it's best to share that knowledge with others. The only difference between a master and a hermit is whether there are students or not.

Humans are social animals, and relationships are vital to our psyche. We need people who can laugh and cry together. People were able to share their dreams, stories and fears. You can fall in love and suffer the baptism of falling out of love. Can create new memories. You can drive 1000 kilometers on a road trip together, across the east coast of the United States.

Every little thing we do comes back to relationships.

The greatest value of health is that it gives you choice.

A life rich in all other respects but devoid of relationships can be at best empty and at worst depressing. What's the point of having the world if there's no one to share it with? If it means living in one's castle, do you really want to be king of that castle?

Experience

"The purpose of life is to experience something that you will be nostalgic for later."

I generally agree with this view. Life is about a 90-year period of experience defined by various other smaller experiences. We are fortunate to live in a time when experiences are readily available, more accessible than ever.

You can travel anywhere in the world in 24 hours for less than $1,000. From learning a foreign language to learning exotic recipes, you can learn anything on the internet. For the first time ever, we can literally do anything.

If wealth is for consumption, what better way to spend your wealth of money, wealth of time, wealth of knowledge, wealth of health, wealth of relationships than doing cool things with people you care about?

At the end of the day, our experiences are all we have.

Experiences are our chances to cash in other forms of wealth for something memorable.

Some experiences cost money, but the most valuable experiences are not defined by price tags. I don't remember how much it cost to visit Tromsø, Norway. But what about seeing the Northern Lights? Priceless.

An evening spent with cold beer, loud music, a roaring fire and surrounded by friends is priceless.

Going on road trips across the American West with my best friend was priceless.

Of all the trade-offs a person can make, you will never regret exchanging financial wealth for experiential wealth. But what about missing out on experiences because you're "too busy at work"? It's hardly worth it.

As a resource, money is unlimited, but experiences, like time, are finite.

How often do you have dinner with your grandparents? What about going on a ski trip with your best friend? How many times have you had the chance to visit a new country on a whim? What about learning a new skill you've always been interested in?

Communicating with Argentines in their native language is invaluable.

Money is best used to fund the experiences you want. Go try something fun. The kind that lights a fire in your heart.

Imagine if you spent 40 years maximizing your lower forms of wealth (money) at the expense of minimizing some higher form of wealth (experiences), and waited until your twilight years to recapture the experiences you had missed, it is only in vain.

Our goal should be to have a lot of money and a rich life experience.

When you come to the end of your life, would you rather be able to fondly recall the good times you spent with the people you cared about, or would you be satisfied that you didn't "waste time and money" on these "trivial" pursuits ?

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Went to Commonwealth MRT Station to take a look at the old Tanglin Halt before its redevelopment. Under the Selective En Bloc Redevelopment Scheme (SERS), 31 blocks of flats as well as market and hawkers stalls were slated for demolition.

Taking a walk at Tanglin Halt 

10 Rules to a Happy Life

 

At the end of the year and the beginning of the year, I always hear the wishes of "Happy New Year to you". Some people say that happiness is too difficult; maybe it Is because we often forget that happiness is a choice.

Learn these 10 rules of happy life, let's wave goodbye to sorrow and welcome the new year with great strides.

01     Stop thinking too much

Some people like to think too much, ponder too much on the trivialities of life repeatedly, and find fault with themselves, but in the end they just increase anxiety. Don't be overly restrained and sensitive, face life with a normal heart. When people are comfortable, they will feel much better.

02     Don’t pay too much attention to other people’s opinions

I have seen many people who care too much about other people's opinions and try to seek their own value in the other people’s evaluations. But in fact, life is our own; we each have our own light. Let go of paranoia, don't be distracted, and live the present moment, so that you can be more relaxed and comfortable.

03     Control bad mood, release good aura

As the saying goes: nine out of ten things don't go well in life. Those who are always happy are not without problems, but they all know how to control their emotions and are not affected by bad emotions or bad temper. Only by maintaining a good attitude can you control life and feel the beauty of life.

04     Find your comfort zone

Many people have a misunderstanding of the comfort zone, thinking that being in the comfort zone is about being content with the status quo and just living with it. In fact, finding a comfort zone does not mean not working hard, but being able to do what you want to do and be good at, and have a temporary shelter when you are sad.

05     Occasionally "muddled" once

Being forgetful, laugh when something happens, give yourself a time to buffer and relax occasionally, there is nothing wrong. Don't be too serious about things that are unplanned, you will be happier if you are a little muddled.

06     Learn to reject

Some people say: "When you are in your twenties, you feel that life is too long. In fact, sometimes, life is very short." Learn to reject other people's unreasonable demands and things that make you unhappy. Have more joy.

07     Develop Hobbies

Happiness is found by oneself. Cultivate one or two hobbies, such as reading, sports, cooking, growing flowers. Let go of the impetuous mood and experience the joy of life from simple little things, you will become more and more loving life.

08     Tidy up regularly

It has to be said that cleaning up the room seems to have a magical power. Playing your favorite music, tidying up the house, and sweeping away the bad emotions that have accumulated for a long time. The resultant is that the room is cleaner and your mood is brighter.

09     Exercise regularly

Many people have the experience that exercise can make people feel good. Exercise is also an excellent skin care product. People who insist on exercising are healthier in body and mind, and they are more confident. So, go to exercise when you have free time, there is no bad mood that can't be driven away by sweat.

10     Sufficient Sleep

A good night's sleep is probably the easiest way to relax. After a busy day, all the bad emotions were quietly healed in the warm bed at the moment of lying in bed. Tonight, remember to go to bed early and let good dreams heal your body and mind.

 

May you always keep a smile on your face and love for life in the new year.

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There is a kind of happiness, that is to go home and eat

It is the first day of the year. I will take this time to talk about the importance of family warmth.

There is this female colleague in my company; she will go home for dinner most of the time. When we order takeaways or settle our meals in the company, she will ride her beloved motorbike and goes home for dinner happily.

At first, we thought she disliked takeaway or company food. Later, I learned from her that she is the only daughter brought up by her mother painstakingly. Now her mother is retired at home. If she doesn't go home to eat, her mother will eat casually. Only when she comes home, her mother will bother to cook more proper and nutritious food.

Her home is not far from the company, and it takes about 20 minutes to her house. Whenever, she goes home for her dinner, colleagues in our department will watch her go home with envy.

In fact, what we envy is, not only the happiness of her being able to go home and eating delicious meals, but also the little fortune of her being with her family every day.

If one can accompany their parents to a meal everyday, I think they are very fortunate. I remembered playing  till wee hours with my friends when I was young, and when it was too late, my mother would call me home for dinner.

"Mom calls you to go home for dinner." Then I will reluctantly bid farewell to my friends.

When I first started working, I turned into a complete workaholic. If there is nothing important, I will never go home easily. I will not let go of work just because of the "trivial thing" of going home for dinner.

As long as I go home to eat, my parents will be happier than anyone else.

They went to the market early to prepare the ingredients, solemnly prepared a table of dishes, and then waited for me to go home. When I get to the door of my house, I will feel safe and secure when I smell the fragrance of familiar food.

The dishes prepared by my parents are not delicacies, but they are delicious, sweet and sour pork tenderloin, tomato scrambled eggs, fish-flavored pork, braised prawns, spicy lotus root slices...Infused with love, these dishes have become works of art that I need to appreciate in my whole life.

My parents taught me a lot of things. But what they often say is this sentence:

Where can I eat the best food? Of course at home!

After I grew up, I realized that being able to go home for dinner is a kind of happiness. This kind of happiness can support you through countless difficult times.

If you have time, please go home more for dinner. Just a simple, plain meal can calm you down and gain joy and happiness. A gluttonous feast is no better than home-cooked dishes. Live your life well, no matter how far you go, no matter how high you fly, please remember to go home for dinner.

Home is always the best harbour for a person. The delicious food at home is a cure for everything. The family sits around the dinner table, sharing food while chatting, enjoying themselves, what is there to be unsatisfied in life?

Cheers Everyone and have a great year ahead.=)

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A letter to the 2021 Self

2021 is coming to an end soon. Looking back on this year, you may have experienced success and failure, as well as loneliness and longing. It is a good time to conclude and write a letter to yourself at the end of the year.

 

01      To the Struggling You

 

For you who struggled:

 

After going through 2021, you know that being strong means having the courage to try and persevere no matter if you win or lose.

You are very fortunate that this year that you did not waste too much time on indecisiveness, did not neglect your life, and did not disappoint yourself. No one can predict whether life will be what we think in the end. But what is certain is that the harder you work, the luckier you will be.

Do not choose to slack because you are afraid of hard work. Instead of being dragged forward by life, it is better to challenge it, conquer it, and strive to live life as you expect. Stand firm to your goals without hesitating, face your own shortcomings and work hard to make up for them; you will eventually meet a better version of yourself.

In the days to come, I hope you will survive in the adverse situations and still come out fresh; I hope you have experienced hardships and still love life. The rest of your life is still long; I hope you can continue to be strong and shine like a gem!

 

02     To the Homesick You

 

To you who are homesick:

 

During this year, you have experienced many things and visited many places most probably locally. When you look back, you will find that home is the only place where you can cry and laugh happily. There are parents who love and worry about you at home, there are loved ones who accompany you, and there are brothers and sisters who will reach out to help you in the times of difficulties.

When we were young, we always felt that the outside world was more exciting. After growing up and leaving home, we always want to go home. If you regard life as the four seasons, then home is the clothes that you wear on your body in the four seasons. If you regard life as a journey, then home is a cozy pit stop for you to rest during the journey. As long as you get home, be it just a cup of hot tea, and a light meal, you are able to carry on fighting, no matter how much grievances you have experienced outside.

Maybe you have not been home this year, but don’t forget to call home no matter how busy you are.

 

03     To the Undiscouraged You

 

To you who are not discouraged:

 

You have suffered some setbacks, but don’t be discouraged. Life is long. Nothing can be seen at a glance, no one know whether it’s full of spring breeze or dust. You can only find out yourself. The suffering, the loss you have suffered, and the pain you have endured will eventually become the light, illuminating your way.

I’ve heard this sentence: “You won’t remember how you survived after the storm is over. You are not even sure that the storm is over. But one thing is certain: when you passed through the storm, you are no longer the same person." Adversity tests a person's attitude toward troughs and that can often determine the height of his life. The beginning of a period of ascent is often extended from a low point and in many cases there is no way to retreat, forcing us to find a way out.

Life is not a smooth road. Facing the crit of life, you must learn to adjust your emotions, have hope, and live hard. Because if you are at the bottom of life, as long as you work hard, no matter which direction you are in, it can only go upwards. When you are down, you don't blame yourself, and you don't give up when you are frustrated. As long as you can keep moving on, passed this bitter cold, there will always clear sky.

 

04     To the Lonely You

 

To the lonely you:

 

You may have been through many solitary times that you haven't mentioned to others in 2021. But when you look back at that period of time, you will find that what you see along the way is not bitterness, but strength. It is those tears and sweat that have paved the way you have to walk in your life.

Some people say that the more you are alone, the better for self-improvement. Some people complain due to loneliness; some people struggle in loneliness. Those who struggled and overcame loneliness will become tougher. So, don't be afraid of being alone. Those days when we walked silently, the little things we struggled for will eventually become our bonus points in our future life. Although this road is not well lit, it is bright enough.

 

The 2021 train is about to reach the end

We are going to say goodbye to the 2021 selves

Please believe

The 2022 You

You will definitely meet a better self!

 

See you in 2022.

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