Route to Financial Independence

Friday, May 16, 2025

The Golden Rule of Socializing: Focus on You, Not Them

Focus on You, Not Them.

It seems simple, but it's not easy to do. In the process of communicating with others, instead of overthinking about them, it's better to express yourself clearly.

As for the outcome, if you can chat, then chat; if not, then be quiet. If the other person lacks manners, then you also don't need to maintain yours all the time.

We should know that the essence of social interaction is actually about filtering and exchanging. Filtering is a set of standards for interaction, with your own feelings and interests as the bottom line; exchanging is one of the purposes of socializing, with your own resources as the exchange value.

So never ignore your own feelings. Not everyone is worth your time and energy to socialize with. And those worth your time and energy must pass through your filtering.

Just need to stick to two principles. The first principle is to care about your own feelings and defend your own interests. The second principle is to adhere to the first principle.

For those who turn against you, just turn against them directly. There's no need to analyze their behavior, speculate about their thoughts, or dwell too much on it. Even if it's a client, you still need to filter them appropriately, let alone colleagues or friends.

Some may ask, wouldn't this approach be too self-centered? However, is socializing not self-centered? So you only need to understand your own value and purpose, know your bottom line, and don't need to analyze or speculate about others.

If you don't actively filter friends, you'll be filtered by others. Some may also ask, wouldn't this mean you won't make friends? In fact, it's difficult to find like-minded friends throughout life. There's no need to forcefully make friends; avoiding internal conflicts and being comfortable with yourself is most important.

Moreover, not all so-called friends are true friends. It's better to focus on improving yourself. If you bloom, the breeze will come naturally.

Especially when you're feeling low and weak, you'll always think about others' company and inspiration. Continuously analyzing others will only lead to increasing feelings of inferiority and emptiness.

If this is the case, the biggest issue isn't communication but lack of confidence. The lower your confidence, the less you should care about others' words, not analyze others, and do what you think is right, focusing on completing your main tasks.

Remember, scumbags love people with a ‘victimized’ mentality the most. When your confidence rises and you're mentally strong, then actively absorb what's beneficial to you in social interactions. At this point, you won't fall into internal conflicts or doubt yourself again.

True social champions all have one thing in common: they confidently defend their interests, express their feelings clearly and assertively, and always prioritize themselves.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Don't be afraid to confront conflicts. Relationships that can be torn apart, don’t matter much.

2. Maintain eye contact during conversations to let the other person feel your presence.

3. Knowing what you want is enough; there's no need to analyze others.

4. True strength lies in accepting your imperfections. Don't lose confidence because you think you're imperfect.

5. Don't attempt to change others, including your parents. Smart Adults only filter, they don't educate.

Everyone should care about their own feelings, but not to the extreme, and not to stubbornly persist. You need to weigh the pros and cons, act accordingly, and realize that treating social interactions as a zero-sum game won't last long.

If you encounter someone with a similar magnetic field or frequency, perhaps you'll be willing to unconditionally treat them well.

You are the protagonist of your life, overcome the challenges, and become a better person.

Friday, May 9, 2025

Boost Your Luck: Cultivate a High-Energy Constitution

During our academic years, we compete with our intelligence; during work, we compete with our emotional intelligence; it's only in the latter half of life that we realize energy is more important than intelligence or emotional intelligence. People with low energy often feel passive and lazy, unable to handle pressure and setbacks. They collapse at the slightest difficulty and struggle to achieve anything consistently. On the other hand, individuals with high energy are full of vitality. When faced with problems, they don't easily retreat but actively break through obstacles, continuously progressing in life.

Indeed, this is true. Life is not a sprint but a marathon. Those who have abundant energy often emerge victorious in the end. To maintain a good state, one must cultivate a "high-energy constitution." It's not that you have bad luck, but your energy is too low. Psychological energy is the driving force of personality; it propels a person to accomplish various mental activities.

When a person's energy is too low, they feel unmotivated to do anything, trapped in a state of depression, lacking the drive to move forward.

Netizen B once vented about her experience: After graduation, she landed a decent job at a large company. She thought she would continue steadily on this path. However, over the years, the company's performance declined significantly, leading to layoffs, and her department was also at risk.

Faced with pressure, B spent her days worrying and complaining, working lazily and avoiding putting in effort. As a result, she was among the first batch of employees to be laid off. Ironically, shortly after she left, the industry began to recover, and her former colleagues who persevered were promoted. B believed she just had bad luck.

However, upon closer analysis, it was clear that her internal energy had a significant impact. Our energy is like the battery of a phone; it gets depleted and can be drained to zero. If we use up all our energy on internal struggles when faced with problems, we won't have the energy to make changes, and life will inevitably fall into a negative cycle.

There are often two types of people around us: one with good overall abilities but who enjoys negative complaining, resulting in a worsening situation; the other may seem ordinary but always faces problems with a positive attitude, attracting good luck and connections. The difference lies in the level of energy.

Low-energy individuals exhibit a perception of threat. They adopt a defensive attitude toward everything around them, constantly giving themselves negative suggestions, resulting in lethargy and despondency in self-pity. On the other hand, high-energy individuals exhibit a perception of opportunity. They give themselves positive suggestions, enabling them to better face challenges and seize opportunities.

Throughout life, we inevitably confront pressure and difficulties. If even a slight disturbance causes us to lose our composure, we will only exhaust ourselves in negative emotions. The lower the valley, the more important it is to manage one's energy well, not to worry prematurely, not to anticipate troubles.

Adjusting one's mentality, believing that difficulties are temporary, gives us the courage to face challenges and overcome obstacles. Managing one's energy is managing one's life. When a person finds it difficult to get through tough times, ultimately, it's because of insufficient energy. Many times, what traps a person is not external problems but internal feelings of powerlessness. By managing one's internal energy well, one gains the energy to deal with worldly challenges.

C was troubled by her introverted personality when she first graduated. At that time, she worked for a publishing company and often needed to communicate and negotiate with clients. However, because she was not good at communication, she was often scolded by some arrogant clients as "useless," even in front of her boss. Once, a client even said in front of the boss that she was not suitable for the job.

Faced with everyone's doubts, C fell into serious self-doubt: on the one hand, she doubted herself, and on the other hand, she constantly tried to prove herself. During that time, she often felt exhausted and suffered greatly. Fortunately, with the help of friends, she realized that although she couldn't change her personality, she could leverage her sincerity and empathy. Instead of letting others affect her mood, she devoted all her energy to improving herself and even summarized a set of "negotiation skills for introverts." She strongly agreed with a saying: "More important than time management is energy management."

Faced with the disturbances from the outside world, we must learn to focus on ourselves: take care of our emotions, don't exhaust ourselves, don't prove ourselves. Continuously enriching and cultivating ourselves allows us to nourish our inner selves and gain a continuous flow of energy.

Truly capable individuals have high-energy constitutions.

Each of us has a corresponding energy level, and the higher the energy level, the more likely we are to attract good luck and good things. To maintain a positive state, one must reduce consumption and engage in activities that recharge oneself.

Reduce "negative suggestions" and adopt "positive suggestions." Some may ask, "I can't seem to be happy; what should I do?" The answer is to laugh heartily every day and suggest to yourself: "I am happy and fortunate." Recall if you've ever experienced this: when feeling low, you think you're worthless and filled with anxiety about the future. Faced with challenges, you hesitate and vacillate; when feeling good, you feel empowered and in control, more willing to face challenges.

This is the influence of psychological suggestions. All our actions stem from our inner "thoughts." Only by believing in ourselves and our ability to deal with problems can we solve them. Providing ourselves with positive suggestions and learning to think positively can reduce internal consumption and increase our energy.

Change "low-energy postures" and adopt "high-energy postures." The state of the body determines our psychological state. A good posture brings positive energy to emotions. In life, we must actively maintain awareness of our bodies, consciously adopting "high-energy postures" such as standing tall with our heads held high and hands on hips. Adjusting our posture can quickly boost our spirits and reduce anxiety.

Stop excessive rumination and return to the present moment. Many people have experienced this: before giving a speech, they start worrying about "what if I make a mistake?" and end up making mistakes. Before meeting a client, they fret about "what if this person is difficult to deal with?" and end up having a hard time. Why does this happen? Because thinking without action is the most energy-consuming.

When our energy is too low, we become sluggish and prone to making mistakes. However, when you focus on the process of things—prepare the speech earnestly or remember the client's needs and preferences carefully before meeting them—using energy for action rather than aimless thinking allows life to enter a positive cycle of improvement. There's a saying:

"Energy is a person's inner vitality. The kind of energy you have determines the kind of life you lead." Fill yourself with energy, and the road ahead will be steady.

Luck is nothing more than focusing one's energy on the right things, day after day, reaping a better self and attracting more beautiful things. When you manage your energy well and learn to relax your inner self, not losing yourself in external voices or consuming yourself in excessive worries, and focus on what you can do, everything you desire will come your way.

Friday, May 2, 2025

"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

"What Nezha 2 Taught Me About Disliking Others — and Discovering Myself"

A while ago, after watching Ne Zha 2, I was chatting with a friend about the storyline.

I mentioned that I didn’t like Taiyi Zhenren.
He always seemed careless and unserious — even when danger was imminent, he was still joking around. He struck me as completely unreliable.

I thought others would feel the same.
But later, when I read interviews with the creators and fans, I was surprised:

"Taiyi’s Sichuan accent is hilarious — just seeing him makes me happy!"

"I envy people like him: carefree, cheerful, able to eat and laugh heartily!"

"He has such a relaxed vibe and truly knows how to enjoy life."

Reading these comments hit me hard.

It made me realize:
It wasn’t really Taiyi’s behavior that bothered me — it was my own deep resistance to being that carefree.

The way we judge others often reflects the hidden parts of ourselves.
When we strongly reject certain traits, it's often because we're denying something within.

As we grow, it's important to re-examine the qualities we instinctively label as "bad."

Growing up, I was always a "good kid," closely following the values taught by teachers and parents:

Be honest. Be humble.
And, above all, be serious when facing any task.

So when I saw Taiyi joking around at critical moments, I instinctively felt frustrated.

It didn’t help that he wasn't as hardworking as Shen Gongbao, yet still received promotions and special artifacts from his master. It seemed so unfair.

But that frustration didn’t last long.

Later, I saw different perspectives from other viewers:

"Taiyi doesn’t look down on Shen Gongbao, even though he’s from the demon tribe. He treats his disciples with genuine warmth."

"Having a friend like Taiyi would be amazing — someone who helps you enjoy life and forget about your worries."

I realized that from another angle, Taiyi's carefree attitude wasn't laziness — it was freedom.
He’s a master of living joyfully, not just accomplishing tasks.

This made me think of another character: Zhu Bajie from Journey to the West.

As a child, I disliked him too — always lazy, complaining, causing trouble, threatening to quit.

Until one day, a classmate said:

"I love Zhu Bajie! Without him, the journey would have been unbearably dull."

It clicked.
Yes, the journey might have been smoother without him — but it would have also been lifeless and bleak.

Sometimes, a trait we dislike at first glance can, from another angle, reveal itself as a hidden strength.

And in that moment, my resentment toward Taiyi dissolved almost completely.

I also realized something even more important:

On the surface, I looked down on "carefree" people.
But deep down, it was a quality I desperately lacked.

Each of us has traits we dislike — laziness, selfishness, stubbornness, hypocrisy, and so on.

We often force ourselves to avoid these traits at all costs.
But doing so rigidly can create hidden traps in our lives.

For example, I used to prioritize being "serious" above everything else.
As a result, I often felt tense.
When things didn’t go perfectly, I fell into anxiety and self-doubt.

I spent years trying to figure out how to become less anxious —
but the real answer was simple:

Learn to relax.
Stop taking every task so seriously.

Carefree people know how to prioritize comfort and joy, and in doing so, they care for themselves far better.

The more rigidly we reject a trait, the more likely we are to get stuck when life demands flexibility.

If you despise selfishness, you might struggle to stand up for your own needs.
If you hate hypocrisy, you might hurt people by being blunt when tact would have been better.
If you can’t stand stubbornness, you might lose your own convictions, easily swayed by others.

Of course, all this is easy to understand intellectually — but emotionally, it’s much harder.

When we face traits we dislike, we often react automatically:

"This is bad! Stay far away!"

Usually, our hatred of a trait comes from one of two sources:

Education — We were taught that the trait is bad.
Experience — We suffered because of someone who embodied it excessively.

These lessons are valid.

But ultimately, we need to reevaluate these judgments through our own lived experiences.

From a psychological perspective, no trait is inherently good or bad.
It's not about morality — it's about context and degree.

Even traits we find unpleasant can become strengths when adjusted appropriately.

I once experienced this firsthand during a psychology workshop.

The instructor gave us a simple exercise:

Plan a weekend outing in groups — first acting according to your favorite traits, then acting according to your least favorite traits.

In the first round, we all tried to be polite and accommodating.

The result?

Total indecision.
Everyone deferred to everyone else.
No one dared to make a choice.

If just one strong-willed or selfish person had spoken up, we could have decided in minutes.

In the second round, where we acted out our "worst" traits — being stubborn, critical, distracted —
the room was chaotic but lively.

And to everyone’s surprise — we laughed more.
There was a strange, joyful sense of freedom in dropping the mask of politeness.

We also discovered unexpected strengths in these disliked traits:

Being critical brought a refreshing honesty and freedom from internal conflict.
Being strong-willed made us feel powerful and decisive.
Being distracted let us step back from conflict and find peace.

When we experience the "other side" of a disliked trait,
we realize it’s not inherently good or bad.

It’s all about how and when it’s used.

At this point, you might ask:

"Are you saying we should become the people we dislike?"

Not at all.

Forcing yourself to become what you despise is unnatural — even damaging.

Instead, what we need is observation and mastery.

Traits aren’t absolute.
Life isn’t about clinging to any one role.

It’s about flexibility —
adjusting to different circumstances, mastering different sides of yourself.

In psychology, this is called becoming a complete person:

Able to be serious, but also able to laugh.
Able to care for others, but also to protect yourself.

When we meet people we dislike, instead of only criticizing them, we can ask:

"Is there a quality here that I might need more of?"

Meeting different people, reflecting, and clashing with others —
these are precious opportunities for self-awareness and growth.

In the end, traits aren’t the most important thing.

You —
a living, growing, endlessly evolving person —
are what matters most.