Life experiences

1. Pay attention to those who are very good in dealing with others.

People who are good in dealing with others are all savvy individuals; they have high emotional intelligence, articulate well, and make you feel comfortable in their presence. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people.

When judging someone, don't just listen to what they say; observe their actions. Pay attention to details, feel with your heart, not just with your ears.

2. Make money as much as possible, save money diligently, money is very important.

No matter what your financial situation is, save money whenever possible. In this society, money is the most important shield for you and your family.

Nowadays, it feels like the weekend hasn't been spent if they haven't gone shopping, and it feels like they haven't gone shopping if they haven't bought anything. They feel wronged if they go shopping without having a cup of milk tea or a meal.

Save money in life, and there's no need to spend $6 on milk tea when $1 bottled water can do the job. Your savings are your lifeline.

3. Don't deliberately flatter others.

Those whom you flatter and fawn over, what real help can they offer you? Even if they do help you, sooner or later you'll have to repay them twofold. Moreover, why should they help you? The more you flatter others, the more others will flatter them, and the more incapable you'll appear.

Instead of trying to flatter others, spend that energy thinking about how to improve yourself.

4. Don't try to take shortcuts in anything.

For example, don't cheat on homework normally, don't think about cheating on exams, don't lie to deceive people; you are deceiving yourself.

Do you think you're deceiving the teacher by copying homework?

5. Things that make you suffer actually bring you happiness, and things that make you happy are often not real happiness.

Playing games and browsing on your phone are very comfortable, but that kind of short-term happiness often brings permanent pain.

Studying is painful, especially in the early stages. Stretching and running are painful. But these brief pains often bring long-term happiness.

6. It's never too late to start working hard.

It's never too late to start learning anything.

Many skills are usually acquired with just a few years of hard work. As long as you persist, regardless of what it is, you will gradually reap rewards.

7. Be calm and not judge others based on yourself.

Everyone's experiences are different, and their attitudes toward things are also different. You can disagree with someone's opinion, but don't question or oppose it. Don't try to impose your thoughts on others; it will only make you look foolish.

8. Don't prioritize interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are built on the circle you're in and are more determined by your abilities. If you have achieved nothing and have no value to offer, why should others help you? Only when you have the ability do you have the right to talk about interpersonal relationships.

9. Learning is a lifelong process, and reading is the lowest-cost, fastest way to grow.

Don't stop learning just because you're working. Many things can only be truly understood through practice. By learning while working, you will grow rapidly.

10. Stay away from trashy people.

If a dog bites you, would you bite the dog back?

If you encounter trashy people in life, endure a little grievance and leave as soon as possible. It's better to have one less thing to worry about.

11. Don't deliberately please others, and don't force yourself into circles you don't belong to.

Whether in school or after work, if you can't get along with classmates or colleagues, keep your distance. Focus on learning seriously and working diligently to enrich your life. You live for yourself, not to please others.

12. The more you talk, the less weight your words carry.

In daily life, except with friends, don't become a chatterbox when interacting with others. In this day and age, besides family and friends, no one has so much free time to listen to your nonsense.

13. Time will reveal true intentions.

People's hearts are unpredictable, and seeing someone's true intentions over time may not always be accurate. Communicate more, and you'll eventually see people's true intentions.

14.  Face is earned, not given by others.

When you feel that others don't respect you, don't get angry.

Others are not obliged to respect you. Whether or not you can earn others' respect depends on your abilities and character.

As the saying goes, face is earned, not given by others.

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Truly skilled individuals have already simplified their lives to the utmost

Minimalism is a form of wisdom, a choice in life that helps us cleanse our inner restlessness.

"Life is a continuous process of choosing and letting go. By letting go, we can unleash the maximum energy from our limited lives."

In our ignorant youth, we often pursue accumulation, constantly adding to our lives.

As we age and experience the ups and downs of life, we increasingly feel that the essence of happiness lies in simplicity.

When some people in life are exhausted by the noisy world, those who are truly skilled have already simplified their lives to a "minimalist" mode.

01 Less Comparison, Minimalist Desires

Do you experience the following situations:

You see others carrying designer bags while you can only afford mass market ones, feeling envious but powerless;

You see others' children excelling in both academics and character while yours are constantly criticized by teachers, feeling anxious but helpless;

You see others getting promoted and receiving raises every year while you remain stagnant, feeling increasingly fearful but clueless.

Desire is like quicksand—appropriate pursuit can provide endless motivation, but excessive desire born of comparison only leads to endless troubles.

A friend runs a small business, earning a considerable income at a young age, owning a house and a car, slightly ahead of peers.

But he is a person with high desires. Despite his achievements, he is never satisfied.

Due to work, he often attends industry events where he noticed his peers all drove luxury cars, exuding confidence. Compared to them, his car costing only half of them made him feel extremely inferior.

He felt conflicted and feared being looked down upon. So, he decided to take out a loan and buy a luxury car.

Since buying the luxury car, he has been under significant financial pressure every month. Although he feels a sense of prestige when driving it for social events, whenever the company's performance is not optimistic, he frequently suffers from anxiety and insomnia, finding no joy in owning the luxury car.

"Many of life's troubles stem from our blind comparison with others, forgetting to enjoy our own lives."

If we blindly lose ourselves in comparison, we will only exhaust ourselves.

In fact, true happiness in life always comes from comparing ourselves with who we were yesterday, not with others.

The more we compare, the more desires we have, and we may end up controlled by those desires, ultimately reaping what we sow.

Those truly skilled individuals have learned to subtract desires early and stay true to their original intentions.

In life, only by learning to compare less can we live more relaxed lives and enjoy simple and happy lives.

02 Less Self-Conflict, Minimalism Thinking

Often, we cannot control external opinions, but if we cannot manage our own minds, constantly exhausting ourselves and being swayed by emotions, it will only lead to life's tragedies.

There is a lady in the neighborhood who owns a convenience store and enjoys making short videos in her spare time.

Although she is middle-aged, she remains graceful and charming.

In her videos, she showcases her elegance and eloquence, often bringing joy to others. In less than a month, she gained a large following.

At this time, many people started leaving negative comments on her videos, saying she's too old to act cute, her beauty filters make her overconfident, and she's just bored, having too much time to make these videos.

Seeing these comments, she remained silent for a while. When others thought she would give up, she decisively blocked some people.

Afterwards, she continued creating videos as before because they always brought joy and positivity. Her fanbase grew, and some fans even visited her store just to meet her.

There's a saying: "External voices are only references. If it doesn't make you happy, don't pay attention to it."

In life, many people are easily disturbed by external voices, causing self-conflict. Truly blocking out external disturbances means practicing mind minimalism.

Try the following three-step method:

1. When disturbed by negative external voices, the first reaction should be to recognize that one shouldn't be easily affected by negative energy and should simplify one's mindset;

2. When negative effects are noticed, one should immediately awaken to avoid being immersed in negativity and shift focus;

3. When thoughts begin to change, action should not be delayed. To divert attention, one can watch a TV show, movie, or go for a walk.

These three simple methods are actually avocating minimalism. It helps us isolate ourselves from the outside world, focus entirely on our inner world, avoid unnecessary negative interference, and focus on our goals for success.

"Since there is no escape, it's better to be joyful; since there is no pure land, it's better to calm down; since wishes may not come true, it's better to let go."

Those truly skilled in life can regulate their minds to some extent. It's not that they don't experience self-conflict; it's that they can minimize it in time.

In the journey of life, with sunshine and rain, only by broadening our minds, focusing more on ourselves, and consuming less energy on negative people and things, can we enjoy the beauty of life.

Less socialization, minimalist relationships

Have you heard this philosophical saying: "Every piece of wood can become a Buddha if unnecessary parts are removed."

Life is the same. Instead of entangling oneself in useless relationships, it's better to streamline beneficial relationships, enriching one's spirit and expanding one's cognition.

"Life is a journey, encountering all kinds of people. Not everyone should be invited into your life."

If a relationship drains too much of our energy, we must learn to cut losses in time. We shouldn't blindly please others or become others' dumping grounds.

Those truly skilled individuals, capable of living high-quality lives, do so by minimizing their social relationships.

In life, one must learn to subtract from one's social circle, spend less time on superficial connections, and more time with those worth socializing with, in order to live a positive and optimistic life.

"Minimalism is not having nothing but another form of possession. We're not abandoning ourselves or desires. We're acknowledging our needs and possessions."

Less comparison, minimalist desires, leads to contentment;

Less self-conflict, mind minimalism, leads to naturalness and tranquility;

Less socialization, minimalist relationships, leads to abundant and easy living.

In the years to come, may we all maintain a minimalist lifestyle amidst the complexities of the world, cultivate stronger selves, and embark on a more beautiful journey in life.

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You're the Masterpiece

Following someone else's footsteps, even if they're excellent, only means trailing behind them.

Those who appreciate themselves can find their own place and radiate a unique and dazzling light.

As the saying goes, what's sweet to one may be poison to another.

We spend our days envying others but forget a simple truth: what suits others' lives may not suit us.

In this world, everyone has a life laid out specifically for them. Insisting on following someone else's path results in nothing but birds and fish being misplaced.

You may have heard this: each person has their own way of living.

No matter how exquisite someone else's shoes are, they may not fit you; no matter how lively someone else's life seems, once you experience it firsthand, you might find it noisy.

Only a life that suits you can make you live freely.

A writer once said, "We all have farsighted eyes, always living in admiration of others."

Everyone's life has its hardships, everyone's pot has its residue. No matter who you are, coming into this world, there will be dissatisfaction.

If that's the case, why insist on living someone else's life?

Someone once said: the greatest foolishness humans commit is envying others while turning a blind eye to what they have.

In the time that can't be relived, it's better to walk your own path openly, see your own scenery, and live your own life.

When you let go of comparison, you'll find the scenery along the way a thousand times more beautiful than what you've seen before.

People who are fulfilled inside won't get lost in someone else's world. Because they themselves are already in the most beautiful scenery.

The most sober self-awareness is knowing your place. Not looking up to others, nor looking down on yourself. From beginning to end, calmly walk at your own pace.

Everyone has a unique landscape. Just as others can adorn your window, one day, you will adorn someone else's dreams.

So, instead of admiring others' excellence and comparing where you fall short, why not let go of distractions and enjoy your own beauty?

You may have heard this: you don't have to grow into a rose. If you like, you can be a jasmine, a chrysanthemum or even an unnamed little flower.

Living as yourself is the best gift to life.

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Wake up with Purpose

People often say, "Small things reveal character and details."

To truly understand someone, you don't need to experience major events; you can glean insights from various small details in everyday life.

Take, for example, the small act of rising early. Seemingly insignificant, it, to a certain extent, determines one's character and life.

Early risers, healthy bodies

Early risers have regular routines, consistent sleep patterns, and are often in good health.

Because rising early means going to bed early, avoiding staying up late, and not overexerting oneself, allowing for the restoration of energy and vitality.

With ample time in the morning, early risers can leisurely enjoy breakfast, care for their digestive system, and replenish nutrients.

Being well-fed and hydrated, they naturally have a healthy complexion, are mentally alert, physically robust, and live each day with vigor.

Early risers have a pleasant mood, enabling them to be proactive, exercise, boost immunity, and strengthen their physique.

Early risers, disciplined lives

"Those who can control their mornings can control their lives."

If a person can't even wake up early, being lazy and undisciplined, how can they lead a disciplined life?

With a reversed sleep schedule and caught in a vicious cycle, they'll lack the enthusiasm to do anything, leading a mundane existence.

On the contrary, those who can take the small act of rising early to the extreme will find their lives becoming increasingly disciplined.

Rising early allows for better time management and instills the power of discipline.

Early risers, positive attitudes

There's a saying, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

Those who sleep and rise early are energetic, have a balanced schedule, and maintain a positive and optimistic mindset.

Bathed in the morning light, they can better appreciate the happiness of the moment, infusing vitality into life.

Early risers can experience the joys of life, embrace the beauty of the ordinary, enjoy the richness of time, and always maintain a positive mindset.

Early risers, limitless futures

Good character, excellent habits, and strong willpower will never be defeated by the so-called fate."

The plan of the year lies in spring, and the plan of the day lies in the morning. Even those with humble beginnings can reshape their destinies by rising early.

The greatest benefit of rising early is seizing the initiative and priority in life.

Never underestimate the time gained by rising early. Even if it's only half an hour, persisting for 365 days will give you over 180 additional hours.

With this time, you can read more books, learn new skills, or commit to a fitness routine.

It's often said, "The time you rise determines your fate."

Because our lives are, in fact, the sum of countless habits.

May we all cultivate the habit of rising early, live each day well, and empower our own lives.

A healthy body allows one to be mentally alert, with the energy to organize manuscripts and engage in creative work.

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Bearing it all alone

There's a saying: "Getting used to it" is a poignant phrase that can replace all the unspoken words.

Whenever someone asks you, "How have you been lately?" You always instinctively reply, "Just the same, used to it."

Getting used to it is the bitterness that almost slips out but quietly retreats back; it's the vulnerability you want to lean on but have to conceal.

Many times, when we say we're used to it, it's not because we truly are, but because we have no other choice.

Some words, no matter how much you say them, those who don't care about you won't listen; some feelings, no matter how deeply you describe them, those who don't care won't empathize.

Gradually, we all learn to handle things ourselves, to swallow our own sorrows.

I know there are moments when you're really tired. Like when you come home after a day's work and still have a pile of chores to do; or when negative emotions have been suppressed for too long without release; or when you're facing various annoyances all alone.

You must have eagerly hoped that when you couldn't bear it anymore, someone would stand behind you and gently support you.

But as the saying goes: there's nothing that can't be endured. The standards that adults set for themselves are always about getting through it.

Of course, you know there are people in this world who love and care about you, but you can't bear to let them share your burdens.

Perhaps everyone has such thoughts at times.

If it's something joyful, I'm willing to share it with you right away. If it's something sad, I hope to bear it alone, I hope you never have to know.

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The grievances of adults, who understands?

I heard a particularly heart-wrenching statement: "We dare not fall ill, dare not slack off, and even dare not show emotions. We don't know at what point we started only dealing with problems. Coffee and alcohol have become our lifelines, while emotional outbursts have become luxuries."

Adults encounter many problems and challenges every day, and even if their bodies and minds ache, they push through the pain with time constraints.

A father, while unloading goods, accidentally fell from a truck over a meter high, got up and continued unloading. When he got home, he discovered a large bruise on his back but didn't mention it to his family;

A single mother, alone at home with her child, reheated the prepared meal multiple times, ate two meals, and stayed up all night when her child had a fever, afraid to sleep during the day for fear her child might wake up unattended;

A delivery driver, falsely reported by a customer, rushed to visit his sick mother after work and then had to pick up his daughter from school. To save time, he chose to drive against traffic. When stopped by traffic police, he broke down in tears.

The breakdown of adults is the accumulation of tiny despair, suppressed for a long time and suddenly erupting. The final trigger for the eruption is often something insignificant.

These trivial matters often seem exaggerated and melodramatic to others, and all grievances are reduced to a dismissive "Is it really that bad?"

On the road of life, everyone is a lonely traveler. There are countless scenes in the world, ups and downs of suffering, happiness, joy, and sorrow. Except for saving oneself, it is difficult for others to truly help.

Many times we need a brief pause button, give the pain some time, give ourselves a chance to breathe. In the quiet of the night, open up your heart and mend it yourself.

That's life, others only see the results, while you alone endure the process. Faced with life, we have no choice but to be strong and continue. The road can be looked back upon, but it cannot be walked back.

If you are experiencing grievances, I hope: you can persevere and bravely move forward. Those who are immune to all poisons have been covered in scars; those who can laugh at storms have been riddled with wounds. In the world of adults, while one side collapses, the other side heals.

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Thriving in Midlife: Unlocking Three Healing Words

As one reaches middle age, it's not just about taking care of one's body but also nurturing the inner self, living life to its fullest, so as not to have lived in vain.

The following three words are the most healing, embodying three kinds of life wisdom. Let's see how many you've achieved:

Stability

I once saw a video that went viral, showing a three or four-year-old girl trying to put the lunch her mother had just prepared into a bag. Unfortunately, the girl didn't hold it steadily, and the lunchbox spilled, scattering the food instantly.

Seeing the mess without knowing what had happened, the mother didn't get angry or scold the girl. Instead, she gently asked, "Did you accidentally spill Mommy's lunch?"

The little girl was a bit bewildered and responded tearfully.

The mother immediately hugged her daughter, comforting her, saying she was just asking if it was accidentally spilled.

After getting a reassuring answer from her daughter, the mother patiently advised her daughter to be more careful next time and to remember to ask for help.

Under the video, netizens praised the scene, envying the happiness of such a "fairy-tale family." Many also sighed that it's possible not to be scolded for breaking things.

For middle-aged women, what they fear the most is becoming a nagging complainer.

Complaining about not getting cared for despite the hard work, accusing of not getting returns for their efforts, having unstable emotions, hurting others and themselves more.

There's a term in psychology called "emotional cost," for example, if you accidentally oversleep for an hour today, and you fret about it for another hour, you've suddenly lost even more time.

People with unstable emotions and an unstable core are prone to irritability. They complain when faced with a setback or unnecessarily put pressure on themselves, ending up burdened beyond measure and greatly reducing their quality of life.

When angry, it's worth asking oneself, "Do I really need to be angry about this?" or "Is it necessary for me to be this angry?" This way, emotions can calm down quickly, and one can approach problems more rationally.

As you experience more, you'll understand that the greatest wisdom for middle-aged people lies in maintaining stable emotions at all times, after all, only by steadying oneself can everything else be stabilized.

Subtraction

The more one desires, the more one should learn to subtract.

Rather than being bogged down by distractions, it's better to employ subtractive thinking, eliminating spiritual burdens to achieve true freedom and happiness.

"Trimming down in life, actively letting go, is true self-love."

In the journey of life, if you desire too much, your baggage will only get heavier, making it difficult to move forward in the end.

In middle age, many things require one's attention, so learning to subtract from life becomes particularly important:

Reduce material desires and attachments to harvest inner richness;

Reduce feelings of inferiority and arrogance to remain truly calm and composed;

Reduce complaints and distractions in the mind to achieve happiness and peace.

Happiness means having freedom and choice, but more freedom and choice don't necessarily bring greater happiness. In fact, the more choices you have, the less happy you tend to be.

Therefore, the more one lets go, the richer one's inner life becomes.

Learning to simplify is a kindness to oneself and the most sophisticated way of living.

By letting go of desires, lowering expectations, reducing internal conflicts, one becomes lighter in body and mind, and one's steps naturally become swifter.

May you and I both be able to cut off negative emotions in time, abandon excessive material desires, break free from self-imposed limitations, and reduce the burdens on the journey ahead, embracing a life of ease and contentment.

Patience

Have you ever noticed that the more you rush to have something, the farther away it seems to be?

Because the more impatient you are, the more anxious your emotions become, and the easier it is to make hasty mistakes, often resulting in more harm than good.

Some people say, "A word commonly heard is 'fast,' but in fact, being too fast is the easiest way to make mistakes. Before embarking on a big task, you should first understand the situation and make reasonable judgments before taking action."

Haste makes waste, while patience leads to success. Often, it's the mindset that determines the outcome. If faced with urgency, the mindset should be calm and composed, and actions should be steady.

"Take it slow, and even slower. The things that must be dealt with immediately should be set aside for a while, perhaps then you'll achieve the desired results."

In middle age, you'll come to understand that many answers to life's questions can only be given by time, and being impatient is of no use.

When faced with difficulties, it might be worth giving yourself some time, taking things slowly, often revealing hidden opportunities.

As the saying goes, "Plan before acting." When encountering something, first devise a strategy, then take action. It may seem slow on the surface, but it's actually more efficient. By taking things slowly, you'll ultimately move faster.

In a person's initial reaction to a situation lies the knowledge, character, and cultivation accumulated throughout their growth.

Taking a step back allows one to view and contemplate from a distance, listening to the most authentic voice within. You'll understand what's important, what's not; what's necessary, what's superfluous.

There aren't many things in life that require immediate action or fierce competition. Many things need to simmer slowly to become truly flavorful.

May we all be able to give life gravity, find spiritual refuge, enjoy the passage of time, settle into the routines, calmly and contently being ourselves.

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