"Laziness is your body's best signal."

In life, I've found that many people who aren't doing well often encounter this dilemma: they have many ideas, but their motivation always lags behind. They often have many things they want to do, always ambitious and making many plans, but in the end, they fail to complete them for various reasons. Over time, people become frustrated and lack confidence. Some even feel like they're just lazy, destined to waste their lives. In fact, motivation is the key factor that sets people apart. On a smaller scale, it affects the achievement of one or two things; on a larger scale, if motivation cannot keep up in the long run, people will develop self-doubt and become more self-conscious and withdrawn in the face of repeated setbacks. We usually think that the strength of motivation depends on willpower and perseverance, and those without motivation are simply lazy.

But in psychology, the key to improving motivation lies in building good relationships, which involves two aspects:

1. Relationship with tasks;

2. Relationship with oneself. A person who always lacks motivation may not necessarily have a problem with themselves but because they haven't built good relationships.

1.Relationship with tasks: Why do you want to change?

"Building good relationships" may sound abstract at first, but it's actually closely related to our lives. I once had an interesting job: providing psychological support for people trying to lose weight. In my daily work, I needed to understand their emotional state, progress in weight loss, and effectiveness, etc. After a while, I found that I had inadvertently acquired a skill: predicting whether someone would succeed in losing weight (with an accuracy rate of about 80%). I didn't need to know their physical indicators but to understand their motivations for losing weight. I would ask everyone the same question: what happened that made you decide to lose weight? Different answers reflect different understandings of weight loss. The first two types of people have the shallowest understanding of weight loss and are just making impulsive decisions. This means that there is only a weak connection between them and the goal of "losing weight," and the motivation they can stimulate is also very limited. So, it's easy to become enthusiastic for a short time, but once the initial excitement wears off, it becomes difficult to have motivation again. The third situation is slightly better. Some older friends who are in poor health often suffer from illness and hope to lose weight to become healthy and reduce pain. This means that their connection with "losing weight" will be deeper, and they will have more motivation to keep going. Therefore, even though their metabolism is lower and losing weight is more difficult, because their motivation is stronger, their motivation is also stronger, and they are more likely to succeed. Of course, this motivation is still not the highest, after all, they are urged to lose weight by a doctor. However, it's easy to see that the degree of motivation shown by different degrees of connection with the goal will be completely different.

2.The strongest motivation comes from the deepest relationships

In fact, weight loss is like a metaphor for many things in life. We often make many plans, such as reading, taking exams, going to bed and getting up early, eating a balanced diet, learning new skills, etc. Everyone knows that these things are "good" and worth doing, but when it comes to action, they find themselves with more will than strength. That's because the understanding of "good" at this time only stays at the level of the mind and lacks experience. Conversely, when a person has a deep understanding and experience of what they are doing, they can generate tremendous motivation.

Once, I met a lady named Lee, who showed amazing execution in losing weight. In her past life, she had always been chubby and had never seriously tried to lose weight. But after starting a strict exercise and diet plan, she hardly ever missed a day and rarely complained. I was curious why she was so good at it, so Lee shared her experience with me. All along, her attitude towards life had been perfunctory; she just got by at work, wasn't invested in relationships, and handled conflicts with her boyfriend coldly. She never thought there would be any problem with this. Until last year, she was suddenly fired from her job and broke up. The two blows struck her suddenly like lightning, and she realized the problem and felt unprecedented pain. Lee wanted to change, but she felt powerless and felt a huge sense of powerlessness and loss of control. Just when she was feeling hopeless, she accidentally ran into a high school friend she hadn't seen in years. In her memory, her friend was just like her, chubby, timid, and lacking in confidence. But now, her friend had almost completely changed. Not only had she become thinner, but she also seemed confident in her speech and demeanor, appearing poised and confident in everything she did. Lee deeply admired her friend's state, and her friend shared how she had changed little by little. Lee listened intently and also had a thought in her heart: maybe I can change myself and take control of my life. Not long after, Lee celebrated her 30th birthday and made a wish: to change herself and take back control of her life. One of the first things she did was to take control of her weight. For Lee, losing weight was not just about becoming beautiful and healthy, but also about helping herself overcome the anxiety of losing control and regain confidence. Therefore, she had an extremely deep connection with the goal of losing weight, which naturally kept her motivated. Lee’s state has since improved, making others envious. So, is it certain that as long as you establish a deep relationship with what you are doing, you can persist? Not necessarily.

Because there is another influencing factor: the relationship with oneself.

3.Relationship with oneself: Is change motivated by "self-love" or "self-hatred"?

Observing those around you, you will find that many people are indeed determined to do something but still procrastinate or even give up halfway. The reason is that they often do things in a state of "self-hatred." You may feel puzzled: isn't growth and change about making oneself better, isn't it "self-love"? Not necessarily! Sharing a personal experience: At the end of last year, I resumed my habit of running, but before that, I had procrastinated on running for almost half a year. I often encountered situations where I would set my alarm clock the night before to remind myself to get up early to run, but the next day, I often woke up but didn't want to get out of bed. Or, I would finally go out, but after running for less than 10 minutes, I wanted to give up. Why would this happen? Later, I realized that it was because I would set a series of invisible high goals for myself, such as: I must start running at 6:30; I must run more than 3 kilometers continuously; I can't run too slowly... These goals may seem ordinary, but for someone like me who was used to sleeping late and hadn't exercised for a long time, they were actually quite difficult. Why would I set such high goals? Later, I realized a deeper truth: because I didn't like myself. During that time, I was very dissatisfied with myself, thinking that I was performing poorly in all aspects of work and life. Therefore, I hated to see this annoying self and wanted to change immediately. Therefore, when setting goals, I wasn't considering whether the goal could be achieved but was immersed in a state of self-disgust, setting unrealistic goals. Deep down, I would think: only by reaching such high standards can I prove that I'm not bad, and only then can I be satisfied with myself. However, unrealistic goals only bring continuous setbacks. I would become irritated by small things. For example, if I woke up late or ran slowly, I would judge and deny myself: "Why am I so bad!" And the subconscious mind tends to seek benefit and avoid harm. When running each time meant enduring the pain of criticism, unconsciously, I would become procrastinated. After all, as long as I didn't do it, I wouldn't have to face the bloody setbacks. Therefore, in an atmosphere of self-disgust, people are destined to become exhausted when doing things, and naturally, motivation will decrease.

4.When motivation is lacking, it is even more important to love oneself

Indeed, when changing, people often have both feelings of "self-love" and "self-hatred," but be careful not to let the latter dominate. Careful observation will reveal that many people seemingly set positive and upward growth goals, but many of them are venting their dissatisfaction with themselves by setting high goals. For example, some people change their profile pictures to "won't change until I lose ten pounds," or make a New Year's resolution to "read a book a week"... These goals not only are difficult to achieve, leading to self-doubt, but they also disrupt the rhythm of action. And many people are addicted to self-blame because of the influence of wrong ideas, thinking that the more cruel and demanding they are to themselves, the better they will become. But that's not true. While self-blame can sometimes generate short-term motivation, fundamentally, it's a state of being hostile to oneself, which only consumes energy in self-struggle. Therefore, to obtain sustainable motivation, we need to change our relationship with ourselves. Later, through continuous awareness and adjustment, I redeveloped the habit of running and summarized three steps. If you encounter similar difficulties, you may want to try it.

a.See the real self

Bad relationships often stick to "as I wish," while good relationships accept things "as they are." The former disregards the actual situation and focuses solely on that ideal goal, while the latter sees and accepts the true self. I remind myself: although life may not be going well right now, and I haven't exercised in a long time, planning to start moving now is already good. It's inevitable that I can't run or run slowly at this time. When I think like this, my self-blame decreases, and I can see a few things about myself that are worthy of praise. In fact, everyone is like this. Behind the dissatisfaction with oneself also means that we are in a trough, and the difficulty of change is the greatest at this time. But we are still determined to salvage ourselves, and this intention alone is worthy of affirmation and recognition. When we can realize this, self-acceptance will increase, and the insistence on high goals will decrease.

Lower the goal and rebuild the "relationship" I remind myself: now, my main task is to reduce psychological burden and find a way to make running a less stressful activity for me. So, I readjusted the goal of running, focusing not on how fast or how far to run but setting a minimum standard: to go out. As long as I run, I achieve my goal, and that is a victory. Therefore, my stress was minimized, and I successfully turned running into a habit. Actually, when you find it difficult to act, you might as well lower the standard, get yourself moving, and continue before there's a chance for progress.

b.The worse the performance, the more support you need for yourself

Later, when my running state recovered, I could run more than 8 kilometers each time, and my requirements for myself also unknowingly increased. But once, perhaps because my condition was really bad, it took me 30 minutes to "run" just 3 kilometers. This is a very slow pace, and at first, I felt embarrassed and didn't want to post on social media. But then I realized: am I running to prove it to others? Of course not, I'm doing it for myself. At the same time, even if I perform poorly, I accept this imperfect self. When I think like this, I don't feel defeated but feel a kind of power connected to myself. I am no longer an enemy with myself but a friend fighting side by side.

In conclusion

Actually, when you find yourself always having the will but lacking the strength, don't rush to doubt or deny yourself. Those things that have shallow connections with yourself don't have to be forced, try doing goals that you are more willing to do first. And on the road to growth, everyone will have moments of poor performance. The more difficult the time, the more we need to avoid adding insult to injury to ourselves, support and understand ourselves more. Only then can we rebuild our relationship and truly improve our motivation.

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Middle Age Minimalim: Stop Doing These 5 Things When You're Broke!

Some friends say they earn just a small monthly salary and don't have any side gigs, so they can't save any money at all! For ordinary office workers who follow the same routine every day, it's indeed difficult to save a large sum each month without any additional sources of income. However, the advice on saving money has always been: it's not about being frugal to the point of stinginess, nor is it necessary for everyone to start a side hustle; it's simply about avoiding wasteful spending.

In daily life, if you can consciously avoid wastefulness, while you might not save big bucks immediately, you'll certainly be able to save some pennies.

Many people might think, "Since I don't have much money anyway, why not enjoy life to the fullest?" Forgive me for being blunt, but this is not the mindset of someone who's living life well. Particularly with these 5 things, the sooner you stop them when you're broke, the better!

1. Stop staying up late

I know quite a few people who stay up late either to work and earn money or to self-improve in hopes of making more money. But if staying up late to earn money compromises basic health, won't it lead to even more financial strain when your health deteriorates? During a period when my children were very young, I tried to improve myself as quickly as possible by working super hard and being extremely disciplined (often staying up late to finish tasks). However, that was also the time when my immune system was at its lowest, and I frequently had to visit clinics for injections and medication. Not only did I not make any money, but I also spent quite a bit, not to mention the suffering. Eventually, I came to a conclusion: Regardless of whether you make money or not, prioritize your health, stop staying up late, and take care of your body first.

2.Stop impulse shopping

I truly understand the impulse to buy things. Just last weekend, I bought a pair of jeans myself. However, jeans are a necessity because the ones at home are either very old or too tight (okay, I admit I might have gained a bit of weight in middle age). But did you know? At that time, I also really wanted to buy a top to match the jeans. I tried on about six or seven options, and there were two that I really liked: one was a light green striped linen shirt with 3/4 sleeves, and the other was a cream-colored long-sleeved T-shirt. I was truly tempted to buy them all. However, after a moment of thought, I realized I already had two shirts at home and several white short-sleeved ones. Thinking of this, I controlled myself and left without making any purchases. Thank goodness for that moment of reflection, which prevented me from making an impulse purchase.

3.Stop being idle

From childhood to adulthood, I've always been aware that without any special resources or innate talent, hard work is the key to success in both learning and life. After all, isn't living about finding things to do for ourselves regularly? I've always had a somewhat biased view: once someone becomes idle, trouble follows. So, you see, wherever there are many idle people in a household, things usually don't go well. Many years ago, there was a young man who hadn't studied much. Later, through a referral, he got a job at a mobile phone repair shop and has been working there for many years. It's said he's still there now. Yes, people aren't afraid of you earning less or lacking big ambitions; they're afraid of you being idle all day and drifting aimlessly. Don't ever try those shortcuts to make money; sooner or later, you'll land yourself in trouble. If you're broke, find a decent job, work diligently, and enjoy the warmth of family life!

4.Stop complaining about being poor

I truly can't understand why some people keep complaining about being poor. Complaining about being poor doesn't solve any problems or earn any money. So, remember, don't cry poverty in front of others because they won't give you any money; they'll just laugh at you. Also, don't often think to yourself that you're just like this and will be poor for the rest of your life. I believe that in life: you must often encourage yourself, keep yourself energized, and then work hard to make money. This kind of outlook on life may not make ordinary people rich and prosperous, but living a stable and comfortable life shouldn't be a problem. Look around, those families that were once very poor but kept quiet about it later turned out fine. Parents' hard work is seen by their descendants, who then tend to be more capable. I think this is how most individuals, through self-motivation and effort, achieve family transformation. So, never cry poverty; strive and work hard at all times.

5.Stop comparing

Comparing yourself to others brings nothing but frustration. When poor people compare themselves to rich people, it feels like they've fallen from heaven to hell. When I was young, my family was really poor. Our family squeezed into two small rooms. At that time, I envied classmates who had their own houses. My mother probably sensed what I was feeling because she said: "You're students now, so don't compare what you eat and wear with others. Instead, compare who studies better. If you study well, you'll get a good job in the future and can have whatever you want." Looking back now, those words might have been a bit crude, but there was nothing wrong with the values they instilled: don't compare what you don't have with others; create what you want for yourself. So, whenever I hear about who's rich and what they've bought, I'm almost indifferent, and I don't feel any vanity or jealousy. Because I know: what others have is what they've created, and what I want, I'll create for myself.

Some friends might think, "We work so hard every day to earn money, isn't it for spending?" I admit, it's for spending. But, the key is how you spend it: I have no hesitation when it comes to: buying books for myself, buying jeans (I try them on in stores rather than endlessly comparing options online), signing up for lessons with experienced teachers when I want to learn a new skill… These are non-negotiable for me. What people see might be my frugality and simplicity, but only I know: this is my abundance in life, and I find joy in it.

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Leading by Example

I've always believed: there are no subordinates who can't be managed well, only leaders who don't know how to manage.

Ultimately, management is about two things: managing people and managing tasks.

If people aren't managed well, problems arise; if tasks aren't managed well, failure follows.

How to manage people and tasks? It boils down to eight words: manage people steadily, manage tasks accurately.

Let's explore this together today.

01 Don't overly concern yourself with others' attitudes

What does managing people steadily mean? It means not being impatient, not being afraid, and not losing face.

When managing people, we inevitably encounter various problems. For example, subordinates may be growing too slowly and not meeting expectations, or they may not respect you, lack motivation in their work, and quit at the slightest disagreement.

At such times, you must remain steady. The key is to remain unhurried, unafraid, and unashamed.

1.Remain unhurried

Almost all management problems stem from people issues. When managing people, avoid rushing for quick results.

Because once you rush for quick results, you're prone to overlook the natural growth process of talent, resort to crude methods, and often end up with unsatisfactory outcomes.

Rome wasn't built in a day; you need patience and timing.

So, don't be in a hurry. Do what you need to do, wait patiently, some flowers bloom slowly on their own, and some things gradually fall into place; you must have patience.

2.Don't be afraid

What do managers fear? One is the fear of conflicts within the team, and the other is the fear of employees making mistakes.

Some managers fear conflicts with subordinates. They always say "okay" no matter what the subordinates do, and agree to whatever requests the subordinates make. They never have their own bottom line and always compromise.

Managers grow through conflicts, not harmony. If you always seek harmony, your subordinates won't respect you, and no one will listen to you, making it impossible to manage the team well.

Some managers are also afraid that subordinates will make mistakes, resulting in low efficiency. To get results faster, they may end up doing the work themselves.

However, if a subordinate never makes mistakes, they may not be doing anything at the company.

Procter & Gamble even has a rule: if an employee goes three months without making a mistake, they are considered an unsatisfactory employee.

So, don't be afraid of subordinates making mistakes; give them the opportunity to make mistakes. Because only then will they learn from their mistakes and grow.

Of course, if someone keeps making mistakes and refuses to learn, you don't need to be afraid; you can persuade them with reason, encourage them with incentives, and if all else fails, take disciplinary action.

3.Don't be ashamed

Losing face means being able to set aside your ego and not overly concern yourself with others' attitudes.

When managing people, don't be afraid to offend anyone. If a subordinate makes a mistake, stick to your principles and point out the issue firmly, rather than trying to cover it up to save face.

Be willing to speak frankly, lead with the ugly truth, explain the consequences of failing to meet objectives, and urge the team to stay committed to the goals.

And during the process of managing tasks, also supervise execution rigorously, correct processes, evaluate results, and make rewards and punishments clear. Replace or dismiss those who are not up to standard.

By being "unhurried, unafraid, and unashamed," you can elevate your management to a higher level.

02 Managing tasks accurately ensures results.

1.Focus on the big picture

Focusing on the big picture means prioritizing major tasks, focusing on the most important things.

Some managers don't do this; they usually try to handle everything at once, ending up busier and less efficient, which is essentially being busy for the sake of it.

According to the Pareto Principle, the most important things account for only 20%, while the remaining 80%, although the majority, are not actually crucial.

So, you only need to focus on the big tasks, the key points.

The so-called big tasks are those that have a significant impact on the results. To judge the importance of a task, you must think deeply, identify the main contradictions, and understand the essence of the matter.

2.Delegate authority

Delegating authority means empowerment. Some tasks don't require you to do them yourself; you can delegate them to the right people.

Which tasks can be delegated? A good reference is whether the task or project will be affected if you're not involved.

So, what kind of subordinates should you delegate authority to? It mainly depends on two factors:

First, whether they can do it. To successfully complete the work, you need to find someone among your subordinates who are skilled and experienced enough to deliver results.

Second, whether they are willing to do it. Capability is one thing, but willingness is another. If someone is capable but unwilling, don't force them.

If they're capable and willing, they will continue to be self-driven, constantly seeking solutions to problems.

It's important to note that while delegating authority, you should also learn to mitigate risks. Mitigating risks means following up on the process, providing timely help and support, acting as a coach rather than a supervisor.

3.Pay attention to details

Paying attention to details means focusing on critical junctures, important details, and areas where results can be achieved; you must see things through to the end.

Paying attention to detail means being able to conduct checks on areas where mistakes may occur.

By focusing on the big picture, delegating authority, and paying attention to detail, managing tasks accurately ensures results.

03 In conclusion, management is about two things: managing people and managing tasks.

Managing people requires steadiness - not being in a hurry, not being afraid, and not losing face. Managing tasks requires accuracy - focusing on the big picture, delegating authority, and paying attention to detail, seeing things through to the end.

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How to look young

01 Embrace beauty and life.

Most people who look young have a love for beauty. They pay attention to their appearance, keeping themselves clean and presentable. They love sports, using their energetic bodies to resist the erosion of time. They have eyes that can appreciate beautiful things, they are full of zest for life, and they never treat life carelessly.

Taking care of the basics in life and living with poetic beauty, they live with a heart full of love for life. Once they have a heart that loves life, regardless of age, they radiate warmth and optimism from the inside out.

02 Have a broad mind and embrace acceptance.

Everyone experiences emotions, but what matters is how we deal with them. Instead of letting negative emotions drown us, it's better to reconcile with them, understand the reasons behind them, and properly address and relieve negative emotions.

Having a broad mind is the epitome of a person's charm. Forget what needs to be forgotten, let go of what needs to be released; be less critical and more tolerant. With no burdens in the heart, a relaxed brow, and gentle eyes, one finds inner peace. When you show joy and contentment in life, life will treat you gently in return.

03 Stay positive and wear a smile.

People who smile often have a heart filled with sunshine. Even after experiencing storms, they retain a sense of innocence and optimism. Even in the face of setbacks, they approach them with the most positive attitude; they hold goodwill towards everyone, brimming with sincerity, bringing joy to those around them.

As the saying goes: "Those who smile often won't have bad luck." That smile on their faces is like a soft blanket, warming themselves and those around them like a gentle spring breeze.

04 Keep learning and renewing yourself.

Learning adds depth to a person's beauty. What truly keeps a person young is the ability to keep learning.

Regardless of age, please keep a curious mind, persist in reading, learn new skills, and bravely try new things. Embrace novelty every day, and your life will feel renewed every day.

You have the power to decide what you become. If your heart is young, you won't fear the passage of time. Every minute of your life can be lived beautifully and wonderfully!

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Life experiences

1. Pay attention to those who are very good in dealing with others.

People who are good in dealing with others are all savvy individuals; they have high emotional intelligence, articulate well, and make you feel comfortable in their presence. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are good people.

When judging someone, don't just listen to what they say; observe their actions. Pay attention to details, feel with your heart, not just with your ears.

2. Make money as much as possible, save money diligently, money is very important.

No matter what your financial situation is, save money whenever possible. In this society, money is the most important shield for you and your family.

Nowadays, it feels like the weekend hasn't been spent if they haven't gone shopping, and it feels like they haven't gone shopping if they haven't bought anything. They feel wronged if they go shopping without having a cup of milk tea or a meal.

Save money in life, and there's no need to spend $6 on milk tea when $1 bottled water can do the job. Your savings are your lifeline.

3. Don't deliberately flatter others.

Those whom you flatter and fawn over, what real help can they offer you? Even if they do help you, sooner or later you'll have to repay them twofold. Moreover, why should they help you? The more you flatter others, the more others will flatter them, and the more incapable you'll appear.

Instead of trying to flatter others, spend that energy thinking about how to improve yourself.

4. Don't try to take shortcuts in anything.

For example, don't cheat on homework normally, don't think about cheating on exams, don't lie to deceive people; you are deceiving yourself.

Do you think you're deceiving the teacher by copying homework?

5. Things that make you suffer actually bring you happiness, and things that make you happy are often not real happiness.

Playing games and browsing on your phone are very comfortable, but that kind of short-term happiness often brings permanent pain.

Studying is painful, especially in the early stages. Stretching and running are painful. But these brief pains often bring long-term happiness.

6. It's never too late to start working hard.

It's never too late to start learning anything.

Many skills are usually acquired with just a few years of hard work. As long as you persist, regardless of what it is, you will gradually reap rewards.

7. Be calm and not judge others based on yourself.

Everyone's experiences are different, and their attitudes toward things are also different. You can disagree with someone's opinion, but don't question or oppose it. Don't try to impose your thoughts on others; it will only make you look foolish.

8. Don't prioritize interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are built on the circle you're in and are more determined by your abilities. If you have achieved nothing and have no value to offer, why should others help you? Only when you have the ability do you have the right to talk about interpersonal relationships.

9. Learning is a lifelong process, and reading is the lowest-cost, fastest way to grow.

Don't stop learning just because you're working. Many things can only be truly understood through practice. By learning while working, you will grow rapidly.

10. Stay away from trashy people.

If a dog bites you, would you bite the dog back?

If you encounter trashy people in life, endure a little grievance and leave as soon as possible. It's better to have one less thing to worry about.

11. Don't deliberately please others, and don't force yourself into circles you don't belong to.

Whether in school or after work, if you can't get along with classmates or colleagues, keep your distance. Focus on learning seriously and working diligently to enrich your life. You live for yourself, not to please others.

12. The more you talk, the less weight your words carry.

In daily life, except with friends, don't become a chatterbox when interacting with others. In this day and age, besides family and friends, no one has so much free time to listen to your nonsense.

13. Time will reveal true intentions.

People's hearts are unpredictable, and seeing someone's true intentions over time may not always be accurate. Communicate more, and you'll eventually see people's true intentions.

14.  Face is earned, not given by others.

When you feel that others don't respect you, don't get angry.

Others are not obliged to respect you. Whether or not you can earn others' respect depends on your abilities and character.

As the saying goes, face is earned, not given by others.

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Truly skilled individuals have already simplified their lives to the utmost

Minimalism is a form of wisdom, a choice in life that helps us cleanse our inner restlessness.

"Life is a continuous process of choosing and letting go. By letting go, we can unleash the maximum energy from our limited lives."

In our ignorant youth, we often pursue accumulation, constantly adding to our lives.

As we age and experience the ups and downs of life, we increasingly feel that the essence of happiness lies in simplicity.

When some people in life are exhausted by the noisy world, those who are truly skilled have already simplified their lives to a "minimalist" mode.

01 Less Comparison, Minimalist Desires

Do you experience the following situations:

You see others carrying designer bags while you can only afford mass market ones, feeling envious but powerless;

You see others' children excelling in both academics and character while yours are constantly criticized by teachers, feeling anxious but helpless;

You see others getting promoted and receiving raises every year while you remain stagnant, feeling increasingly fearful but clueless.

Desire is like quicksand—appropriate pursuit can provide endless motivation, but excessive desire born of comparison only leads to endless troubles.

A friend runs a small business, earning a considerable income at a young age, owning a house and a car, slightly ahead of peers.

But he is a person with high desires. Despite his achievements, he is never satisfied.

Due to work, he often attends industry events where he noticed his peers all drove luxury cars, exuding confidence. Compared to them, his car costing only half of them made him feel extremely inferior.

He felt conflicted and feared being looked down upon. So, he decided to take out a loan and buy a luxury car.

Since buying the luxury car, he has been under significant financial pressure every month. Although he feels a sense of prestige when driving it for social events, whenever the company's performance is not optimistic, he frequently suffers from anxiety and insomnia, finding no joy in owning the luxury car.

"Many of life's troubles stem from our blind comparison with others, forgetting to enjoy our own lives."

If we blindly lose ourselves in comparison, we will only exhaust ourselves.

In fact, true happiness in life always comes from comparing ourselves with who we were yesterday, not with others.

The more we compare, the more desires we have, and we may end up controlled by those desires, ultimately reaping what we sow.

Those truly skilled individuals have learned to subtract desires early and stay true to their original intentions.

In life, only by learning to compare less can we live more relaxed lives and enjoy simple and happy lives.

02 Less Self-Conflict, Minimalism Thinking

Often, we cannot control external opinions, but if we cannot manage our own minds, constantly exhausting ourselves and being swayed by emotions, it will only lead to life's tragedies.

There is a lady in the neighborhood who owns a convenience store and enjoys making short videos in her spare time.

Although she is middle-aged, she remains graceful and charming.

In her videos, she showcases her elegance and eloquence, often bringing joy to others. In less than a month, she gained a large following.

At this time, many people started leaving negative comments on her videos, saying she's too old to act cute, her beauty filters make her overconfident, and she's just bored, having too much time to make these videos.

Seeing these comments, she remained silent for a while. When others thought she would give up, she decisively blocked some people.

Afterwards, she continued creating videos as before because they always brought joy and positivity. Her fanbase grew, and some fans even visited her store just to meet her.

There's a saying: "External voices are only references. If it doesn't make you happy, don't pay attention to it."

In life, many people are easily disturbed by external voices, causing self-conflict. Truly blocking out external disturbances means practicing mind minimalism.

Try the following three-step method:

1. When disturbed by negative external voices, the first reaction should be to recognize that one shouldn't be easily affected by negative energy and should simplify one's mindset;

2. When negative effects are noticed, one should immediately awaken to avoid being immersed in negativity and shift focus;

3. When thoughts begin to change, action should not be delayed. To divert attention, one can watch a TV show, movie, or go for a walk.

These three simple methods are actually avocating minimalism. It helps us isolate ourselves from the outside world, focus entirely on our inner world, avoid unnecessary negative interference, and focus on our goals for success.

"Since there is no escape, it's better to be joyful; since there is no pure land, it's better to calm down; since wishes may not come true, it's better to let go."

Those truly skilled in life can regulate their minds to some extent. It's not that they don't experience self-conflict; it's that they can minimize it in time.

In the journey of life, with sunshine and rain, only by broadening our minds, focusing more on ourselves, and consuming less energy on negative people and things, can we enjoy the beauty of life.

Less socialization, minimalist relationships

Have you heard this philosophical saying: "Every piece of wood can become a Buddha if unnecessary parts are removed."

Life is the same. Instead of entangling oneself in useless relationships, it's better to streamline beneficial relationships, enriching one's spirit and expanding one's cognition.

"Life is a journey, encountering all kinds of people. Not everyone should be invited into your life."

If a relationship drains too much of our energy, we must learn to cut losses in time. We shouldn't blindly please others or become others' dumping grounds.

Those truly skilled individuals, capable of living high-quality lives, do so by minimizing their social relationships.

In life, one must learn to subtract from one's social circle, spend less time on superficial connections, and more time with those worth socializing with, in order to live a positive and optimistic life.

"Minimalism is not having nothing but another form of possession. We're not abandoning ourselves or desires. We're acknowledging our needs and possessions."

Less comparison, minimalist desires, leads to contentment;

Less self-conflict, mind minimalism, leads to naturalness and tranquility;

Less socialization, minimalist relationships, leads to abundant and easy living.

In the years to come, may we all maintain a minimalist lifestyle amidst the complexities of the world, cultivate stronger selves, and embark on a more beautiful journey in life.

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30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

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You're the Masterpiece

Following someone else's footsteps, even if they're excellent, only means trailing behind them.

Those who appreciate themselves can find their own place and radiate a unique and dazzling light.

As the saying goes, what's sweet to one may be poison to another.

We spend our days envying others but forget a simple truth: what suits others' lives may not suit us.

In this world, everyone has a life laid out specifically for them. Insisting on following someone else's path results in nothing but birds and fish being misplaced.

You may have heard this: each person has their own way of living.

No matter how exquisite someone else's shoes are, they may not fit you; no matter how lively someone else's life seems, once you experience it firsthand, you might find it noisy.

Only a life that suits you can make you live freely.

A writer once said, "We all have farsighted eyes, always living in admiration of others."

Everyone's life has its hardships, everyone's pot has its residue. No matter who you are, coming into this world, there will be dissatisfaction.

If that's the case, why insist on living someone else's life?

Someone once said: the greatest foolishness humans commit is envying others while turning a blind eye to what they have.

In the time that can't be relived, it's better to walk your own path openly, see your own scenery, and live your own life.

When you let go of comparison, you'll find the scenery along the way a thousand times more beautiful than what you've seen before.

People who are fulfilled inside won't get lost in someone else's world. Because they themselves are already in the most beautiful scenery.

The most sober self-awareness is knowing your place. Not looking up to others, nor looking down on yourself. From beginning to end, calmly walk at your own pace.

Everyone has a unique landscape. Just as others can adorn your window, one day, you will adorn someone else's dreams.

So, instead of admiring others' excellence and comparing where you fall short, why not let go of distractions and enjoy your own beauty?

You may have heard this: you don't have to grow into a rose. If you like, you can be a jasmine, a chrysanthemum or even an unnamed little flower.

Living as yourself is the best gift to life.

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Midlife Minimalism: 18 Tips for Simplifying Your Life

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