Each of us comes into this world hoping for a happy and fulfilling life. But life is often not as we wish, leaving us filled with fantasies. Reality and dreams are usually opposite; otherwise, they wouldn't be dreams.
As social animals, we rely on connections with different groups of
people to maintain a normal life. Communication between people inevitably
brings some friction, which is the basis of interpersonal relationship
problems. Just as people like money, perhaps no one can replace money as
something everyone likes.
It's unnecessary to
always maintain enthusiasm; showing occasional indifference can be better.
Humans are emotional beings, and everyone has their own moods. We often
see people around us who sacrifice themselves to please others. Perhaps we are
such people ourselves, sacrificing ourselves for others at the expense of our
own well-being. Many people have encountered such situations. For example,
after a busy day at work, when you're already exhausted, your siblings come to
you to pour out their hearts. They come seeking solace because they're upset,
feeling uncomfortable inside.
And what about you?
You've already had enough grievances during the day and wanted to take
some time to relax, but now you have to listen to their grievances, making
yourself even more impatient. You haven't even processed your own emotions yet,
but you end up helping others digest theirs, which can leave you feeling
exhausted.
At a gathering, some people have already had enough to drink and
shouldn't drink more, but under the encouragement of some friends, they end up
toasting again. Being already drunk, they continue drinking, causing greater
harm to their bodies.
People should have moments of enthusiasm, but they should also have
moments of indifference; this is the normal range of human emotions. Some might
argue that they see certain individuals who seem emotionally stable. So-called
emotional stability is just a facade; they manage their negative emotions
through other means, which only they know, and most people can't see their negative
emotions.
This is a simple form of emotional management, so maintaining occasional
indifference, not trying to please everyone, is essential for a good life.
Learning to ignore
everyone's expectations can reduce harm.
Nobody is perfect; imperfection is the essence of life.
When a person tries to meet everyone's expectations, they end up living
in great pain. For example, if you try to meet the goals set by your parents,
the tasks assigned by your teachers, and the expectations of your friends, it becomes
overwhelming. When you have too much on your mind, pursuing perfection, you
find yourself with no time for yourself, ultimately sinking into misery. When
your self-worth depends on others' approval, every look, action, or word from
them may be interpreted as, "Do they not like me?" "Am I being
too childish?" "Their tone doesn't sound pleased; are they unhappy
with me?" Even without doing anything, you feel "emotionally
exhausted" because you've acted in countless internal dramas but still
can't genuinely believe in yourself.
There's a psychological term called FOPO (the fear of other people's
opinions): being trapped by others' evaluations. Often, for the sake of
reputation, we try to leave a good impression on others, constantly forcing
ourselves to stick to our current positions. To not disappoint others'
expectations, we continually push ourselves to grow quickly, to live up to the
image others admire, leaving ourselves battered and bruised.
When we learn to be indifferent, others will reduce their expectations
of us, and we won't carry as much pressure. In this world, no matter what you
do, there will be different opinions swirling around you. So why not be the
most authentic version of yourself and find a bit more happiness?
Indulging in internal
conflicts is being irresponsible to oneself.
Under the control of vanity, everyone likes to present their best side
to others. We get used to considering others and end up enduring pain
ourselves. Little do we know, truly social individuals understand that learning
to be appropriately indifferent is the key to real liberation.
I have a friend who is a supervisor at a company; he's usually warm, but
sometimes seems cold and unfeeling. One time during dinner, in a lively
atmosphere with food and drink, he mentioned that this was his basic principle
for dealing with people every day.
In his previous job as a supervisor, his warmth often led to most tasks
being left unfinished, burdening himself as his subordinates did nothing. When
he came to his current company, he realized his past mistakes and adopted new
social skills. He doesn't let his warmth be limitless, nor does he become a
cold-hearted machine. Therefore, occasional indifference is a more balanced
approach to life and work.
In conclusion, everyone likes to be appreciated and liked by others,
which requires us to master certain interpersonal skills. Indirect indifference
can win more affection from others. This is similar to relationships; using the
same dating routine and attitude for too long can lead to boredom. Only by
constantly creating a sense of freshness can love be sustained for a longer
time.
Read Also:
Silent Witness: Time's Unspoken Truths
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