Embracing the Essence of Human Nature

Most of the troubles in our lives actually originate from interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, a few words can make people feel warm, but sometimes a single expression can strike fear in them. There's a saying: "The human heart is unfathomable, human nature is ever-changing."

We absolutely should not overly trust specific individuals.

Not Many People Sincerely Want You to Succeed

Both kindness and darkness coexist in people; they often can't stand others doing better than themselves. People around you becoming successful is often more easily envied than those achieving distant glory. A proverb goes: "Aside from parents and a few close friends, there are very few people who genuinely feel happy because of your success. More people ask about your affairs just to confirm you're doing worse than them." Though brutal, this is a facet of human nature.

So, when you find yourself in trouble, do not expect support from others. There are many people to accompany you in joy, but very few willing to share your hardships. When you succeed, refrain from boasting to those around you. There are very few who genuinely rejoice in your success, while those who are envious are many.

Your life is your own, and it doesn't concern others. Experience pain, relish happiness without revealing the intricacies of life to others. Learn to be modest, composed, control your edges, and even in ordinary days, you'll shine.

Others Only See the Results; You Have to Go Through the Process Alone

Some say, "Every person has a fire in their heart, but those passing by only see the smoke." This phrase is deeply resonant. In the adult world, someone understanding you is fortunate, but relying on your own strength is the greatest support.

You hope others understand your struggles, but who isn't going through their own difficulties? You expect someone to traverse hardships with you, but who isn't carrying their own burdens?

Do not blame others for not understanding your plight, nor complain about the cruelty of reality or the indifference of human feelings. Because life is like this; others only see the outcome, while you face the process alone.

So, when you encounter a low point, don't disturb anyone, and never get upset because of being ignored. Don't feel disheartened due to being cold-shouldered; quietly work hard and put in the effort.

The less care you receive from others, the more self-respect and self-love you should exhibit. The more you lack companions, the more courageously you must move forward. Learning to grow within yourself is the way to flourish outwardly. Don't struggle with present emotions because your goal is to stand out based on your abilities one day.

Allow Yourself to Be You, Allow Others to Be Themselves

There's a popular question online: "How to deal with being around certain people whom you don't like but have to be with every day?"

A highly praised answer is: "Allow yourself to be yourself, while also allowing others to be themselves."

Interpersonal relationships are an unavoidable issue, and if you cannot accept it internally, it will bring suffering. Just as you need to allow that some people may not like you, you must also permit the existence of people around you whom you don't like. You must allow your thoughts to not be accepted and also permit others to adhere to their views. Don't force others to change, and don't compel yourself to assimilate.

In the world of adults, there is only filtering, not teaching; there's only choice, not change. Endurance will harm you, blaming will hurt the other person, only allowing will set you free. Ignore those you dislike, cherish those you like. Stick to what you love, allow what you don't, respect what you don't understand, and do what you should do. Don't harbor resentment, don't let things affect your inner self. Respect differences, self-reflect, and find inner joy.

Offer a Helping Hand, but Don't Strain to Assist

"People should do some voluntary work, but there's no need to go to excessive lengths to help others."

If it's within your capabilities, lend a hand, but if it goes beyond your abilities, you shouldn’t strain yourself.

If you put in a lot of effort to complete a task, and others consider it to be simple, not only showing no gratitude but also expecting more help from you; if you agree to help but can't manage, it not only disrupts the matter but also affects relationships, making you feel aggrieved and causing a negative impression.

So, when facing requests from others, don't take on things beyond your capability. Doing your best is an attitude, and acting according to your capacity is a wise decision.

Help to the best of your abilities when you can, and learn to refuse when it's beyond your capacity.

Don't overly worry about damaging relationships by declining; true friends will understand your predicament and won't make you uncomfortable.

Never Judge Others Casually

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact; everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Never stand in your own position and casually judge others. This is the most basic form of respect between mature individuals.

If you haven’t lived through someone else's life, do not rush to express your opinion, as your comments will likely be one-sided. If you haven’t deeply understood someone else's life, don’t draw hasty conclusions, as your judgment could be incorrect.

There's a saying: "Kind words are like the warmth of winter; harsh words are like the chill of June."

Do not let the stinging words from your mouth become a blade that hurts others and ultimately harms yourself.

Understand that there are no secrets to be spoken; speaking cautiously is the wisest choice. The wiser someone is, the more they focus on themselves, while those restless and superficial individuals love to gossip about others.

Silently reflecting on one's own mistakes, refraining from easily judging others, doing things with a sincere heart, and being cautious with words is the way to live.

Don't Always Seek to Triumph in Words

"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who want to win, and those who want to win an argument."

When a person insists too much on winning verbally, it not only creates an impression of arrogance but may also appear undesirable due to emotional outbursts.

Never directly oppose others' views. Life is not an arena, and one shouldn't always seek to defeat others in verbal debates.

Understand that language is a tool for conveying emotions and solving problems, not a weapon for victory.

Many times, we seem to have the upper hand but actually suffer considerable losses. Arguing with loved ones, winning the argument but losing the relationship; arguing with unimportant individuals, winning vanity but losing dignity.

"Always aiming to win in words is the basest behaviour."

If you're right, there's no need for arguing; if you're wrong, there's no point in debating.

Learn to maintain the dignity of yourself and others in communication, provide a sense of superiority to others—this is the wisdom of dealing with people.

I strongly agree with the phrase: "The most valuable thing is not that we are all the same, but knowing that 'we are different' and still being able to respect and understand each other, communicate while maintaining our independence, without conforming, degrading, flattering, or crossing boundaries."

Interpersonal communication is like practicing, it requires wisdom. Learning to be sincere and setting boundaries, being close but not excessively so, being cautious and proper in handling affairs, and maintaining an appropriate distance in relationships are among the most important elements of sustaining all relationships.

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Some feelings, only oneself understands

The saddest moments in life are when you truly don't want to say or do anything. You just want to be alone in silence for a while.

There are many people around you saying, "If you have any troubles, remember to talk to me." But every time you feel troubled, you open your phone, look at a long list of contacts, and don't know who to reach out to.

The words you want to say are always composed and then deleted. Or, when the call connects, and you hear the other person's voice, suddenly you don't want to talk anymore. No matter what others ask, you say everything is fine, it's okay.

In this world, there are some feelings that only you understand. No matter how you describe your feelings, others only understand the surface. Some people think you're not strong enough, some think you're too dramatic, and some even want to rub salt in your wounds.

I once saw a question: Why do people become silent as they grow up?

Because you start to understand that even if you say a lot, even if your dependence runs deep, the number of people who can truly help you is few. Sometimes silence is not because there's nothing to say, but it's more like, "Let me get through this toughest time, then I'll talk to you about the past with a smile."

Maybe one day, when we face the past, all the sad emotions can be relieved. All the entanglements, hesitations, and confusion will no longer be a stone at the bottom of your heart.

Just as the saying goes: "When you've walked through the darkest tunnel, you'll no longer fear any dark night. You'll have the courage to face all kinds of challenges and the confidence to become a better person."

Whether it's joy or sorrow now, learn to heal yourself, then silently strive, shining like a star, surprising everyone.

How have you been lately? How's your mood? When you're feeling down, how do you console yourself?

24 tips to make you socially successful in the world

1.

Remember this principle: no matter how close or familiar with other people, do keep a distance. Being close doesn't mean you can be messed around.

2.

If someone helps you, you have to thank them. Even if the other person offers advice and help that is of no use to you, you have to show your gratitude.

3.

When you talk to a person, if the other party always deliberately change the topic, it means that they are very sensitive to the topic, or do not want to continue. At this time, we should be appropriate to stop; when you talk to a person, but the other party is always looking at the watch, drinking water, or not facing you, indicating that others do not want to chat with you at this time, or very annoyed with you.

4.

Remember one thing: do not chat with people of different channels, different levels, different views. For example, if you talk to a person with low education, you talk to him about logic and he talks to you about morality and ethics, and if you all talk and talk, no one will be able to convince anyone, and you may end up fighting. The right approach is: when you meet a self-righteous person, you agree with whatever he says.

5.

We need to understand words within words.

Weekend busy? = I miss you; go back and wait for notice = the interview does not pass; I think about it = I will not consider at all.

6.

Remember one thing: politeness and kindness should be given to the right person, a gentleman's friendship is open and honest, a villain still needs a villain's plan. For example, when you are polite and courteous to a person, it is possible that you will get perfunctory, contemptuous, even abusive and bullying from others in return. Therefore, it is important to lose your temper appropriately in order to let others know you exist and to make them respect you.

7.

When you earn money, just secretly rejoice, it is best not to let others know. As the saying goes: money cannot be revealed. When you are a little bit accomplished, you can be smug, you can be proud and arrogant. You think you will receive a lot of praise and admiration, but in fact, you will only attract people's hatred, jealousy and red, others will rack their brains to discredit you, suppress you, kill you, this is the human nature.

By the way, I would like to remind you that all those people in your circle of friends who are showing off their cars, brand names, dinners and villas are basically fake. They have only one purpose, to get you to join them and then cheat you out of your money.

8.

According to psychologists’ research: when you go to an unfamiliar environment, let others help you do some small favor, can make each other's relationship warm up quickly. The reason is that when you ask someone for a favor, they will think that you recognize them, need them, and trust them, and thus their goodwill towards you will be greatly enhanced.

For example, when you have just joined a company, you can try to borrow a pen from someone around you, borrow a piece of paper, ask for the location of the bathroom, ask for the WiFi password ...... These things may all seem small and minor, but they can promote mutual relations and ease all kinds of embarrassment in order to allow you to better integrate into the new company!

9.

You can be polite and sassy, but don't be too soft. It's good to treat people with courtesy, but you also have to distinguish what kind of people they are. For the kind that is unreasonable, like to take advantage of people, do not need to be polite to him, hard, he would not dare to bully you.

You have to acknowledge a very solid fact: good people are not always rewarded with good things; on the contrary, good people will often be taken advantage of. Another point is that justice that is late is not justice. For example, a person is wrongly convicted and imprisoned for decades. Can you call it justice when it takes decades to be cleared of wrongdoing? You let a person be imprisoned for decades for no reason, is that also justice?

10.

No matter what time of day, when talking to anyone, do not look down and play with your mobile phone, it is a reflection of your upbringing. When you look down and play with your phone, you are disrespectful to the other.

11.

Compliments are the most effective and least costly way to give to others. It's not flattering, it's a reflection of how we can improve our relationship.

Everyone likes to hear good things, no one likes to be criticized. Even if you find out that the other person is wrong, don't say so right away, otherwise they will not only not appreciate it, but will also resent you. Remember the saying: Letting a person admit their mistake to their face is tantamount to depriving them of their self-esteem, and it's strange that they won't fight with you.

12.

No matter what happens, do not be an afterthought.

When a thing fails, do not say to others: "If you had listened to me", "do not listen to my words, suffer in front of the eyes" such windy words, although this is very cool to say, but in the eyes of others, you are gloating, false compassion, and thus resentment towards you. This is a good thing to say, but to others, you will appear to be gloating and faking compassion, which will lead to resentment. The right thing to do is: either enlighten him or offer him help.

13.

Never fantasise: by approaching rich people, you can achieve the dream of becoming rich overnight.

Let alone whether you can meet a rich person, even if you do, do you have the ability to make a rich person look at you? If so, you don't have to have this dream.

 

14.

An online job fact: If you are looking for a job online and the other party doesn't ask you anything, or just chat with you for a few minutes, then ask you to go to an interview directly. Don't go, he just wants to trick you into getting his KPI.

In fact, many HR departments have a track record of interviewing at least a few people a month. So, the personnel department will post job information everywhere on the Internet, as long as someone comes to ask, they will directly about the interview, regardless of whether you meet the conditions, you people over the line.

For example, a company is recruiting for a certain position and requires at least one year's experience. And you're a fresher, and he knows about it, but he calls you over for an interview anyway. When you went, he went through the whole interview process with you very patiently and then told you to go back and wait for the notice. There is no doubt that you are eliminated.

15.

Anyone who has something to find you, or wants to contact you, will take the initiative to say hello to you the first time after you add him. If the other party adds you, you do not take the initiative to say hello, and he has not said a word. No need to think much about it, just delete it. It might just be a marketing number.

16.

When you meet difficulties, and gets a loan, even if the other party doesn't press you to pay back the money, you have to pay back a little every once in a while to show that you haven't forgotten.

Also, when you pay back the money, it's a good idea to show it. Either give a little extra interest or treat the person to a meal. That's being human! It's not hard to borrow and return; it's easy to borrow money and not to forget, but when you return it, you have to return it.

 

17.

When a person's tone is not quite sure, no need to ask further questions, it is obvious: he is refusing you.

For example, you invite a person out for a meal, but the other person says: "I'll think about it". Don't think too much about it, the person is rejecting you. Words like this and more: "I'd like to see", "Some other time", "Let's see how it goes", "Let's see the weather ", "Let's talk about it then" ......

18.

When you come out into society, put aside the influence of your family of origin on you. Whatever happens, don't think about your family of origin and don't let others bring it up.

We are all adults now, and if we come out, we will have to rely on ourselves sooner or later. Don't feel inferior because of your family's poverty, but likewise don't forget the kindness of your parents' upbringing.

19.

Changing the minds of others is one of the stupidest, most laborious and unappealing things you can do, don't do it!

None of us are saints or teachers and have no obligation to convert or teach others. Therefore, when you find that the other person's views are misplaced, you should not expose him and correct him. You think you are helping him, while he thinks you are opposing him and ridiculing him. Not only will he not be grateful to you, but he will also resent you.

20.

In this fast-paced age of materialism and impatience, if you want people to trust you, show something practical that will help more than anything else!

For example, if you want someone to help you, giving a red packet and buying a meal is most useful. Don't say things like, "If you help me now, I'll share 50% of your earnings in the future." No one will believe you, they will only believe in the immediate benefits.

21.

in order to protect yourself, remember one thing: in any public place, do not feel free to judge others.

There are ears on the wall, and what you accidentally say today could be the trigger for someone to get you in trouble later. Remember: trouble comes from the mouth, this saying will never go out of fashion.

22.

Don't speak too straight, even if your words are justified, no one likes to hear the truth, especially the bad truth.

23.

Things that have nothing to do with making money, try to do as little as possible, or simply do not do.

Why are you poor? It is because you not only earn less money and spend more money, but also always go to some meaningless social, drinking and dinner.

24.

Do not be busy bodies. We are all just ordinary people who can't afford to get into trouble.

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