Grown-Up Goodbyes

01

Early this year, I bumped into some elementary school classmates during a wedding. We hadn't really kept in touch since graduating, so suddenly seeing each other, we barely remembered how we looked as kids, and we couldn't even recall each other's names. After exchanging a few words, we had to find some topics to chat about. Despite trying to reminisce about our limited shared memories from the past, we exchanged contacts, saying we should keep in touch more often. After lunch, I made an excuse to leave. In the evening, he messaged me, saying he and a few other elementary school classmates were going to have tea. My instinctive reaction was to decline. We hadn't seen each other for many years, and suddenly being together again, we were unfamiliar with each other. Going there would only lead to awkwardness, so I thought it was better to refuse outright and be honest about it.

02

Friendships require shared experiences to sustain them.

The more we work, the fewer friends we have around us. Even those friendships that were once good tend to fade away without shared experiences. I've never believed in friendships lasting forever. Even if separated by mountains and seas, we can still miss and cherish each other only if there are shared experiences. Friends need shared experiences to sustain them. Have you ever felt this way? If you haven't seen a friend for many years and suddenly meet, do you expect to hug each other with tears in your eyes? It's not the case. Instead, there's just awkwardness. Even when chatting, it's still about past shared experiences, digging into the memories to fill the emptiness and awkwardness of the present. You may think the relationship has changed, but it hasn't. It's just that you lack shared experiences and no longer spend as much time together as before. Therefore, true friends need to stay in touch regularly. The farther apart you are, the weaker the relationship becomes.

03

One day, I suddenly remembered a good friend from high school. We were classmates in high school, but we rarely kept in touch after graduation. We reconnected and met up twice. Then, we lost touch again. That day, I suddenly thought of him and wanted to see how he was doing, so I found him on social media. After exchanging greetings and asking about each other's situation, there was silence. We had to deliberately find some topics to talk about. We talked about our high school classmates who were close to us. As we talked, I felt bored. It seemed that we didn't have much to talk about, and it felt awkward to chat. The more we tried to find topics, the more awkward it became. At that moment, I knew we couldn't go back to how we were before. We couldn't talk to each other about everything like we used to. So, after one last boring conversation, I ended the chat myself. I knew I wouldn't initiate contact with him again because we had nothing to talk about, and chatting felt awkward and boring. Did we have a falling out? No, we were both polite and exchanged greetings, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Between friends, there's no need for politeness and formality; the more polite you are, the more distant you seem.

04

Friendships tend to diminish as adults.

As we work, we make many acquaintances in the workplace, add many people on social media, and become close to many people, eating and going out together. However, suddenly, one day, we bid each other farewell and never contact each other again. Adult friendships are either based on emotions or interests. Emotional bonds are considered a luxury for people in the workplace. It's difficult for us to make friends in the workplace. Even if you work and eat together every day, and even go shopping hand in hand, these relationships only last during working hours. After work, everyone goes their separate ways. Friendship in the workplace is best left undisturbed, as this is the greatest form of respect. Such friendships only last until the day you leave your job, and afterwards, everyone goes their separate ways, forgetting each other in the hustle and bustle of life. Most people's friendships are formed during their school years. After all, when we're young, we prioritize emotions, but as adults, we prioritize interests. Without shared interests, it's difficult for adults to make friends. After all, everyone is busy, and if there's nothing to do, there's no need to meet up.

Read Also:

Wealth Indicators: 4 Middle-Age Milestones

Listen: Podcast

Reclaim Your Evenings

Some people choose to watch videos, read the news, or catch up on entertainment gossip to relax after work. Others opt for exercise to alleviate the accumulated stress from the day. There are also those who indulge in a hearty meal and share their work woes with friends.

If you are a working parent, the after-work golden three hours are divided into two parts: one for the child and the other for themselves. Squeezing out some time from the busy schedule to improve oneself is crucial. Only by doing so can we bridge the gap between individuals. Year after year, why not make a resolution to change oneself within a year? Time will surely provide the answers.

Don't treat your life with indifference, as we are all aging with each passing moment. Life is what you make of it. Daydreaming and idleness each consume a day, but engaging in activities that yield results is more fulfilling. Therefore, ladies, let's not settle for mediocrity. Let's strive for self-improvement and seize control of our lives.

1. Reading

The golden hours after work are perfect for expanding knowledge. There are many ways to relax and unwind:

a. Read a book: Enjoy the experience of reading instead of treating it like a task. Immerse yourself in a good book to truly appreciate it.

b. Watch high-quality documentaries: Documentaries offer a real glimpse into the world, broadening our horizons and helping us find answers in this era of information overload.

c. Watch debates: Observing debates challenges our critical thinking skills and encourages us to view the world from multiple perspectives.

d. Watch highly-rated movies: Emotional peaks in movies often inspire creativity. They allow us to experience emotions we may not encounter in our daily lives and help us express ourselves through writing.

e. Attend online lectures: Continuing education through online lectures can broaden our horizons, especially practical courses that offer valuable skills.

2. Organizing Files

Take time to organize files on your computer and mobile devices. Categorizing them makes it easier to find what you need and frees up memory space. Cultivate the habit of organizing to improve work efficiency and avoid minor annoyances like slow devices or lost files.

3. Exercise

Engage in physical activity before dinner to stimulate your appetite and alleviate work-related stress. After a long day at the office, outdoor activities help relax and recalibrate your state of mind.

4. Pursue Hobbies

Whether it's programming, writing, photography, or painting, indulge in hobbies that interest you. Pursuing hobbies makes mundane days more enjoyable and enriches your life with valuable skills and experiences.

5. Complete Unfinished Tasks

Each day brings its own set of plans. Utilize the three hours after work to accomplish tasks outside of work responsibilities. As a writing enthusiast, I capture inspiration whenever it strikes and use this time to organize my thoughts and write articles. Focusing on work during work hours ensures that after-work time is fully devoted to personal pursuits.

In the end, life is what you make of it. Whether you choose to remain complacent or push yourself to strive for more, the choice is yours. Destiny lies in your hands—whether to hold on tight or let go is entirely up to you.

Read Also:

Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

Listen: Podcast

The Best Version of Oneself

01

During a stroll, a cat encountered a snail slowly climbing up the wall.

The cat was very curious and approached to see if this snail felt that life was both long and meaningless, thus wanting to end it in such a gruesome way.

A snail, carrying its heavy shell, climbing on a steep wall, about two meters above the ground. If it fell, its shell would likely break, causing injury, possibly leading to its demise.

But it seemed unaware of this danger, still moving slowly. The cat asked the snail, "This is too risky, come down quickly, you'll get hurt. The sky is not a place you can touch, the ground is your habitat."

The snail moved its antennae and casually said, "What is a place I shouldn't go, and what is a place I should go? We are meeting for the first time, you are not familiar with my past, how can you define my future?"

The cat said, "Sorry, I'm just worried about you."

The snail continued, "Thank you for your concern. I will be responsible for my own choices. You go your way without stopping, and I'll endure my rain. Although it's cold at the top, I can see many views that are not usually seen. I'm prepared to be hurt, no matter what, this life must do something for oneself. Although the road ahead is difficult, almost impossible to others, I won't be shaken by their words. Some things need to be done by someone. Step by step, I can reach the end."

The cat didn't know the meaning of such perseverance. While contemplating, the snail moved a bit closer to the roof.

Everyone has their own path to take. How can you determine someone else's ending based on your experiences? There are always those who break barriers, those who sacrifice for their ideals. Don't attach the label of "I'm doing this for your own good" anymore. Too heavy a sacrifice will become pressure for others.

Walk your own path, whether it leads to laughter or tears, to blossoms or withering. Who can be sure?

02

Looking at the heavy shell on the snail's back, this journey must be exhausting.

With such a burden, can it really reach the end?

The snail seemed to sense the cat’s worry. It didn't speak but showed the answer through its actions.

It's slower in speed, technique, and even strength compared to other crawling creatures. Yet it continues to move forward with determination, despite the slow pace.

Yes, the snail carries so much weight, yet it's not afraid of difficulties. Why is the cat hesitating without even taking the first step?

The cat knows the burden on its shoulders well, and the cat also have the selfish desire to go far away. But the cat never knew how to balance the two, thus trapped in contradictions, unable to move forward.

The snail's journey unraveled the problem that had troubled the cat for a long time. Keep moving forward, it's difficult to break free from doubts by looking back and forth.

The journey of life is full of challenges, just to meet a better self.

03

Some people like sunny days, some like cloudy days, and some even like rainy days. We shouldn't give up our ideals because of others' remarks like "it's not good," "I don't like it," or "I think it won't work."

Those who have said I can't have not accomplished much in their lives. We're all the same, who's nobler than whom?

There's a saying: "The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, the second-best time is now." Make progress every day, just keep persisting, and time will give you the answer.

The snail challenges the impossible, but who dares to say it won't be on the rooftop? As long as you persist day by day, anything is possible.

Time will give us answers, not those who keep denying you.

Instead of lingering on, struggling with conflicting thoughts, focus on the path ahead, walk slowly, walk firmly, walk the path you want, live the life you want.

Live happily, live a fulfilling life.

04

In the aging years, please be kind to yourself.

When tired, sleep early; when weary, rest well. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Apply a face mask, soak your feet, eat something nice, drink something warm. Only by relaxing appropriately can you go further.

Those who love you won't mind if you're slow. Those who dislike you will find fault no matter what you do, so don't take it to heart.

No flower blooms from the beginning, nor does any flower remain in bloom until the end.

In the blink of an eye, it's a lifetime. Don't worry about what works or doesn't work. Only by doing will you know. What I found unbearable last year has become a thing of the past.

Days will only get better, and so will you. With this belief and action, no matter what others say, anything that stops you from getting better is nonsense!

For the rest of your life, don't exhaust yourself in busyness. Do things you like to improve your mood. Stay away from the crowd to get closer to yourself. Devote yourself to reading and encounter a better soul.

The best version of oneself is to live according to one's own will, without being humble or scornful, without envying or mocking others, without relying on anyone else. Each striving to live their own life well.

Read Also:

Sudden Realizations

Listen: Podcast