A trait found in unlucky people

"Why do people talk less as they grow older?"

Some people say:

"Because they've suffered from speaking too much." When they were young, they were less guarded and tended to share everything about themselves.

But as they grow older, they realize:

The more they speak, the more mistakes they make.

It's better not to speak.

Others say:

"Because the more they know, the more cautious they become in speaking." When they were young, they loved to argue and persuade others.

But as they grow older, they realize they know too little and dare not speak much for fear of revealing their ignorance.

"A full bottle makes no sound, but a half bottle makes a noise."

Don't talk about your private affairs to outsiders.

I once heard a story that made me sigh.

A friend's company hired a new colleague named C, and my friend worked with her a few times.

She seemed capable, and her personality was quite gentle.

But C didn't last long before suddenly resigning.

"Recently, there have been rumors flying around the company about her, maybe she couldn't take it anymore."

And these rumors, surprisingly, originated from C herself.

Shortly after joining the company, she got along well with colleague A and confided her personal life to her:

She had been divorced before and was now remarried to a man 15 years older than her.

She didn't mean any harm, but listener A told others.

Perhaps her intention was just to gossip, without malice.

But as rumors go, they become more exaggerated.

"At such a young age, marrying an older man, she must be after his money."

"Maybe she divorced her ex-husband just for this older man."

The gossip became nastier and nastier.

Over time, not only did her colleagues gossip about C behind her back, but even the boss heard about it.

They even began to doubt her competence at work.

"C probably didn't know what she did wrong until she resigned."

Similar stories are not uncommon in our lives.

A netizen said:

"Sometimes when I feel wronged, I can't help but confide in someone, but immediately regret it.

It's like handing someone a weapon against yourself, burying a landmine for yourself."

Others say:

"Most of the time, by the time I realize I should keep quiet, I've already said it."

I once heard a saying:

You tell a secret to the wind, and it spreads throughout the forest.

Indeed, prevention is better than cure!

If you're also confused about what you can and cannot say,

here's a tip from me:

Whether it's about our family background, savings, marital status, children's development, family conflicts, health, career plans, etc., anything related to privacy or interests is best left unsaid.

Regardless of whether it's good or bad.

If you say you're doing well, financially secure, it's easy to provoke jealousy;

If you say you're doing poorly, you'll inevitably be looked down upon.

It's human nature to praise the higher and disparage the lower.

A netizen once said:

"There are many things I don't like about my parents.

But I would never say anything negative about them in front of others.

If others look down on my family, they will naturally look down on me too."

Trust is too precious to be given to just anyone.

If you're still unsure, remember this:

Don't say anything you're not sure you should say.

Shallow exchanges are the most taboo.

Don't casually criticize others.

Shutting up is not only a matter of cultivation but also kindness.

Besides not judging others' lives at will,

there's another thing you absolutely shouldn't say:

Other people's rights and wrongs.

Regardless of whether it concerns you.

Before, there was an intern at our company who was obedient and clever.

But her supervisor had a fiery temper.

Whenever the intern didn't do her job well, she would give her a good scolding without mercy.

Once, when the company had dinner together,

Everyone comforted the intern, saying her supervisor had a bad temper, and she shouldn't take it to heart.

Even though the supervisor wasn't present at the time, the girl didn't show any dissatisfaction, just saying:

"I do have many shortcomings, so the supervisor criticizes me."

This sentence greatly increased everyone's favorability towards the girl.

They felt she was humble and could endure.

So shortly after, they helped her secure better job opportunities, and her salary doubled.

Speaking, perhaps, requires ability; but not speaking requires even more wisdom.

Keeping your mouth shut is not just a matter of refinement but also a form of kindness.

Often, people have different opinions simply because their standpoints are different.

It's not about right or wrong.

Do you really need to argue to win?

It's unnecessary.

We all have different perceptions.

Perceptions are influenced by our complex life experiences.

People can only believe what they've seen and experienced.

Upon careful consideration, when we insist on winning the argument, there's often an underlying message:

"I want to prove that I'm better than you."

But because the other party is "unrepentant," we can never "win," and this frustrates us.

Why bother?

To save face for a moment, we waste a lot of time and emotions.

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Grown-Up Goodbyes

01

Early this year, I bumped into some elementary school classmates during a wedding. We hadn't really kept in touch since graduating, so suddenly seeing each other, we barely remembered how we looked as kids, and we couldn't even recall each other's names. After exchanging a few words, we had to find some topics to chat about. Despite trying to reminisce about our limited shared memories from the past, we exchanged contacts, saying we should keep in touch more often. After lunch, I made an excuse to leave. In the evening, he messaged me, saying he and a few other elementary school classmates were going to have tea. My instinctive reaction was to decline. We hadn't seen each other for many years, and suddenly being together again, we were unfamiliar with each other. Going there would only lead to awkwardness, so I thought it was better to refuse outright and be honest about it.

02

Friendships require shared experiences to sustain them.

The more we work, the fewer friends we have around us. Even those friendships that were once good tend to fade away without shared experiences. I've never believed in friendships lasting forever. Even if separated by mountains and seas, we can still miss and cherish each other only if there are shared experiences. Friends need shared experiences to sustain them. Have you ever felt this way? If you haven't seen a friend for many years and suddenly meet, do you expect to hug each other with tears in your eyes? It's not the case. Instead, there's just awkwardness. Even when chatting, it's still about past shared experiences, digging into the memories to fill the emptiness and awkwardness of the present. You may think the relationship has changed, but it hasn't. It's just that you lack shared experiences and no longer spend as much time together as before. Therefore, true friends need to stay in touch regularly. The farther apart you are, the weaker the relationship becomes.

03

One day, I suddenly remembered a good friend from high school. We were classmates in high school, but we rarely kept in touch after graduation. We reconnected and met up twice. Then, we lost touch again. That day, I suddenly thought of him and wanted to see how he was doing, so I found him on social media. After exchanging greetings and asking about each other's situation, there was silence. We had to deliberately find some topics to talk about. We talked about our high school classmates who were close to us. As we talked, I felt bored. It seemed that we didn't have much to talk about, and it felt awkward to chat. The more we tried to find topics, the more awkward it became. At that moment, I knew we couldn't go back to how we were before. We couldn't talk to each other about everything like we used to. So, after one last boring conversation, I ended the chat myself. I knew I wouldn't initiate contact with him again because we had nothing to talk about, and chatting felt awkward and boring. Did we have a falling out? No, we were both polite and exchanged greetings, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Between friends, there's no need for politeness and formality; the more polite you are, the more distant you seem.

04

Friendships tend to diminish as adults.

As we work, we make many acquaintances in the workplace, add many people on social media, and become close to many people, eating and going out together. However, suddenly, one day, we bid each other farewell and never contact each other again. Adult friendships are either based on emotions or interests. Emotional bonds are considered a luxury for people in the workplace. It's difficult for us to make friends in the workplace. Even if you work and eat together every day, and even go shopping hand in hand, these relationships only last during working hours. After work, everyone goes their separate ways. Friendship in the workplace is best left undisturbed, as this is the greatest form of respect. Such friendships only last until the day you leave your job, and afterwards, everyone goes their separate ways, forgetting each other in the hustle and bustle of life. Most people's friendships are formed during their school years. After all, when we're young, we prioritize emotions, but as adults, we prioritize interests. Without shared interests, it's difficult for adults to make friends. After all, everyone is busy, and if there's nothing to do, there's no need to meet up.

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Reclaim Your Evenings

Some people choose to watch videos, read the news, or catch up on entertainment gossip to relax after work. Others opt for exercise to alleviate the accumulated stress from the day. There are also those who indulge in a hearty meal and share their work woes with friends.

If you are a working parent, the after-work golden three hours are divided into two parts: one for the child and the other for themselves. Squeezing out some time from the busy schedule to improve oneself is crucial. Only by doing so can we bridge the gap between individuals. Year after year, why not make a resolution to change oneself within a year? Time will surely provide the answers.

Don't treat your life with indifference, as we are all aging with each passing moment. Life is what you make of it. Daydreaming and idleness each consume a day, but engaging in activities that yield results is more fulfilling. Therefore, ladies, let's not settle for mediocrity. Let's strive for self-improvement and seize control of our lives.

1. Reading

The golden hours after work are perfect for expanding knowledge. There are many ways to relax and unwind:

a. Read a book: Enjoy the experience of reading instead of treating it like a task. Immerse yourself in a good book to truly appreciate it.

b. Watch high-quality documentaries: Documentaries offer a real glimpse into the world, broadening our horizons and helping us find answers in this era of information overload.

c. Watch debates: Observing debates challenges our critical thinking skills and encourages us to view the world from multiple perspectives.

d. Watch highly-rated movies: Emotional peaks in movies often inspire creativity. They allow us to experience emotions we may not encounter in our daily lives and help us express ourselves through writing.

e. Attend online lectures: Continuing education through online lectures can broaden our horizons, especially practical courses that offer valuable skills.

2. Organizing Files

Take time to organize files on your computer and mobile devices. Categorizing them makes it easier to find what you need and frees up memory space. Cultivate the habit of organizing to improve work efficiency and avoid minor annoyances like slow devices or lost files.

3. Exercise

Engage in physical activity before dinner to stimulate your appetite and alleviate work-related stress. After a long day at the office, outdoor activities help relax and recalibrate your state of mind.

4. Pursue Hobbies

Whether it's programming, writing, photography, or painting, indulge in hobbies that interest you. Pursuing hobbies makes mundane days more enjoyable and enriches your life with valuable skills and experiences.

5. Complete Unfinished Tasks

Each day brings its own set of plans. Utilize the three hours after work to accomplish tasks outside of work responsibilities. As a writing enthusiast, I capture inspiration whenever it strikes and use this time to organize my thoughts and write articles. Focusing on work during work hours ensures that after-work time is fully devoted to personal pursuits.

In the end, life is what you make of it. Whether you choose to remain complacent or push yourself to strive for more, the choice is yours. Destiny lies in your hands—whether to hold on tight or let go is entirely up to you.

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