Life is Like Watching Drama

"In our stages of growth, we long to see comedies, full of hope for a joyful life. As we step into our youth, we lean more toward tragedies to refine our fragile souls. Moving into middle age, we prefer to watch tragicomedies, seeking happiness from sadness and seeking pleasure in hardship. By the time we reach old age, we prefer to watch silent dramas, understanding the profound meaning of life in quiet silence."

This idea resonates deeply, as each stage of life has its own dramatic theme, with every act presenting a unique storyline.

Watching Comedies in Childhood

"Retain a childlike heart and nurture interests. A child's life is full of interests. They play, seek pleasure, wholeheartedly immerse themselves, and strive for joy."

Childhood is the opening chapter of our lives, the most carefree time when all children need to do is grow and embrace the promising future awaiting them.

I have a friend whose son has just entered middle school. Despite the increasing academic workload, his child is always optimistic and often wears a cheerful smile.

From a young age until now, his child has lived a remarkably happy life. Apart from the affectionate companionship of his parents, his grandparents also provide meticulous care.

The child particularly enjoys assembling LEGO toys. On Children's Day, Christmas, and his birthday, my friend gift him the LEGO sets he desires, allowing him to focus on assembling them.

He also has a fondness for reading, especially history books. My friend tries to buy suitable history books for him, expanding his knowledge.

Every weekend or holiday, his family goes out to explore, whether it's to a nearby park or as far as climbing the Great Wall in Beijing, continuously broadening his horizons.

Although occasionally faced with unpleasant incidents, the child quickly adjusts his emotions because he understands that his parents are his strongest support.

In the most wonderful stage of childhood, surrounded by a parent's love, a child growing up in such a warm environment is like a comedy filled with happiness, exuding an atmosphere of joy everywhere.

The stage of growth before eighteen is a vital part of every individual's life foundation. A child who grows up joyfully will have more confidence in the future.

The future belongs to every child, especially to those who remain optimistic and cheerful. Allowing a child to grow up in happiness is life's greatest blessing.

Watching Tragedies in Youth

Coming of age at eighteen signifies bearing more life responsibilities, which is the same for everyone. After experiencing various hardships, many young people may come to understand that the most crucial aspect of life is to temper one's inner strength through continuous trials. During the college entrance examination season, some kids tear up with excitement upon performing well, while those who don't fare as expected huddle in a corner, crying desolately. I came across a post from a netizen who said that he would never forget the moment years ago when the exam scores came out. He felt like there was no hope left in his life. His score was below the undergraduate admission threshold, which made him feel hopeless. He had to study in a college outside the province in a field he did not prefer. However, his determination allowed him to complete the three-year college program and eventually successfully transfer to a four-year program. Two years ago, he was admitted to graduate school back in his province. Reflecting on this experience, he expressed, "I thought my life was destined a certain way, but only after going through it did I realize that even in the most difficult moments, life still holds infinite possibilities as long as one doesn't give up." Approaching his graduation from graduate school, regardless of how easy or difficult it is to secure a job, he won't feel fearful because reality has made him much stronger. There's a saying, "If youth's years are wasted in vain, memories will be a tragic desolation." Nobody wishes their life to be a hopeless tragedy, but we may have to experience some disappointing events. Don't retreat or be pessimistic; every challenge in life actually contributes to the depth of our existence.

Watching Tragicomedies in Middle Age

The charm of middle age lies in understanding life and oneself, thus doing what one can and enjoying what life offers. Having experienced a myriad of life's joys and sorrows, those who have lived half a lifetime gradually come to understand themselves and life. Regardless of the immense sorrow or joy they feel, they can face them with more equanimity. In the halfway journey of life, we gradually learn to be indifferent since life involves both sorrow and joy. Middle age serves as the stage connecting youth and old age. Those who reach this stage may find themselves able to calmly face everything because that is part of the process of growth.

Watching Silent Plays in Old Age

As one enters old age, some individuals may no longer possess the fervour for struggle, only the gratitude for being fortunate to live through a day peacefully. However, this phase is not meant to be an idle remainder of life. Instead, it's an opportunity to draw experience from the past, comprehend the true essence of life, and ensure that the future years are more fulfilling and clear.

"Only through hardships can one gain a profound understanding of life, broadening the inner world; this is the key to happiness." Everyone wishes for a smooth life but can't avoid experiencing unfavourable situations and difficulties. Just as life experiences different storylines through its four stages, it includes both joy and sorrow, as well as commotion and tranquillity. Regardless of the stage one is in, what's crucial is living each stage marvellously, enabling a more insightful and freer way of living.

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Everyone Encounters Adversity

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Everyone Encounters Adversity

I've read a saying: "When we open our arms, we might have nothing, yet it feels like we have the whole world." A person's way of thinking directly influences the course of life. "Destiny depends on personal efforts, appearance reflects the inner self, the environment changes according to the mindset, and being tolerant towards others is most crucial." The world and environment remain the same, but the path we take depends on our attitude, not merely the situations we face. Similarly, interpersonal relationships depend on how you handle them, as other people's attitudes toward you depend on your response.

Mutual Assistance, Walking Hand in Hand towards a Better Future

People with a broad vision appreciate the strengths of others, offering a helping hand when someone needs it, and collaborating with others in times of need. Conversely, those with narrow perspectives often envy others' success and even take advantage of their difficulties. The former gains a good reputation, expanding their network of interpersonal relationships, while the latter lacks connections and heads down a narrowing path. Truly strong individuals appreciate others, assisting in their success. They understand the concept of win-win situations, value cooperation, and treat others sincerely and responsibly. Such individuals not only help others but continuously enhance their own outstanding qualities.

The Least Wise Behaviour Among Humans is Mutual Bullying

Quality individuals assist one another, average individuals tend to ostracize each other, and lower-level individuals tend to trample on each other. The most foolish behaviour is "people stepping on people." Mocking each other, resisting each other, and resenting others' success only leads to one's further despondency and more trouble. "If one loves others, they will often be loved in return; if one respects others, they will also be frequently respected." Effort inevitably yields returns, and assisting others will also result in reciprocal rewards. When dealing with anyone, do not dwell on too many considerations. Your perspective influences your attitude, and your outlook influences your future. When you treat others with a heart of compassion, you're essentially sowing good deeds for yourself. The people you treat well will reciprocate the same to you.

Good Intentions Towards Others Will Ultimately Reward Yourself

Kind-hearted people will receive blessings from heaven. By offering kindness and assistance to others, you'll eventually receive it yourself. When you help and genuinely treat others with sincerity, you'll attract like-minded individuals, make new friends, and support each other in times of hardship. A person's life is not a solitary journey; each step leaves a mark. If you calculate and exploit others, they won't be willing to facilitate you! Interpersonal relationships are mutual, emotions are reciprocal, and while sincere contributions and good behavior may seem beneficial to others, the actual benefit always accrues to oneself. Treating others with kindness results in them reciprocating the same. When you extend a helping hand to others in need, they will also guide you when you're lost. Life is like a sowing process, and the harvest is closely linked to your efforts. Remember at all times: kindness is the right path in life, and treating others sincerely is an act worthy of pride.

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The Most Painful Awakening in Middle Age

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The Most Painful Awakening in Middle Age

In our youth, we often sought external experiences, having an abundance of courage but a lack of consideration. As we gradually step into middle age and navigate life's ups and downs, our understanding of life becomes deeper, and our inner selves mature. It's then that we begin to gradually realize: the essence of life lies in awareness. Only through continuous introspection can we comprehend what truly matters, distinguish between the trivial and significant, and learn to let go of gains and losses, paving the way for a better life.

The most profound realization in middle age is that: being with people who resonate with your frequency is the best nourishment for life.

In our younger years, we often searched for external connections, brimming with courage but lacking thoughtful consideration. With the passing of time and the experience of life's trials and tribulations, we gain a deeper understanding of life, nurturing a more mature outlook. We slowly come to understand that the key to life is awakening. Only through sustained self-reflection can we see the importance of things, learn to disregard the trivial, and open the door to a better life.

After middle age, the understanding becomes clear: being with individuals who share the same wavelength as you is the best life nourishment. We may have sought to expand our social circles in our youth, wishing to meet more people. But as we look back in middle age, we realize that only a few people truly stay in our lives. This realization dawns upon us, that it's unnecessary to allow too many people into our lives. Those whose frequencies differ from ours gradually fade away in the passage of time. Being with people who resonate with us ensures a pleasant and enduring companionship, allowing for a lifetime together.

"Finding one or two kindred spirits is enough, no need for too many. The value of friendship lies in that candid trust." Although in middle age, it's fortunate to have many people around, it's more important to have one or two friends who resonate with you. They understand your silence and unspoken thoughts. Being with such friends can provide relaxation for your soul.

Health is the Greatest Asset

People often ask: when they reach middle age, working overtime daily to pay off a mortgage, they find themselves with stiff neck and stooped posture. They start questioning if all they gained at the expense of their health is truly worth it. Among the most common responses is: any wealth obtained at the cost of health is ultimately not worth it in the long run.

This is because health is the most precious asset. In the brief span of these few decades of life, whether one accumulates wealth or faces destitution, it's all fleeting. When you notice warning signs from your body, minor conditions can be remedied and treated. However, severe patients have no chance of recovery. Even if you can hire top doctors, visit the best hospitals, and pay the highest medical fees, it may not save you.

 As a proverb says: If you don't have time to rest, you'll eventually have time to fall ill. The overexertion of your health will eventually rebound with an equal cost. In the latter part of life, maintaining a regular schedule, balancing work and rest, avoiding late nights, reducing anger, and staying active through exercise are the best way to care for your life.

Family Harmony is the Greatest Blessing

 "In our youth, the world seemed to be full of people, and everything seemed related to us. But as we step into middle age, we discover that apart from our family, we have nothing." With age, our concept of "home" gradually becomes clearer. Even if someone possesses great wealth and status, a life filled with constant family quarrels isn't worth envying. Among family members, disagreements are inevitable. If we insist on being right at all costs, even if we win the argument, we might lose the bond, leading to our own unhappiness. Overlooking the minor issues brings warmth and laughter into life, a wealth that money cannot buy.

Realization in Middle Age: Detachment is the Best Attitude in the Latter Half of Life Life is a long journey. The more we carry, the more burdensome it becomes. Simplify to the minimum, and simplicity will conquer complexity. Only by abandoning certain things can we move forward easily. Many unfortunate people are unable to control their desires and insatiable greed and carry more and more burden. In middle age, we need to learn to declutter life. When you start to simplify your life, you'll alleviate the weight on your mind and grasp the true essence of happiness.

Reading is the Best Pastime

In reality, middle age is the most suitable time for reading. In youth, the idea was often ingrained that "read well so you can have a good future and a good job." Read books that aren't enjoyable but deemed essential. In middle age, reading becomes purer, devoid of ulterior motives. At this time, simply reading books you like can add flavour to life. Amidst the nine-to-six routine and family responsibilities, reading allows you to experience and feel different lives. As said in "Game of Thrones": "A reader lives a thousand lives, while the non-reader lives only one." Middle-aged reading guides them to find solutions amid life's perplexities, constantly sweeping away the dust from the soul.

Pleasing Oneself is More Important than Anything

In youth, to fit in, people often drift away from themselves to please others. However, relationships aren't built on pleasing others. The more you try to please others, the easier it becomes to lose yourself, making relationships more fragile.

Whose preferences matter more: others' liking or your own? Your affection for yourself is more significant. By middle age, people realize that they've often overlooked themselves, the most crucial person to please. Pleasing others is what everyone seeks, but pleasing yourself is the real path. A person's genuine charm doesn't come from pleasing others but from authentic living. In the second half of life, let's learn to live for ourselves, embody our true likings, and create the life we desire.

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The Most Comfortable Relationship Is When You Can Talk "Nonsense"

"Being comfortable refers to being able to chat about any topic, and the other person can keep up with the conversation. This is not because the other person is extensively knowledgeable, but because they are extremely interested in the topic." Even if it's the kind of time-wasting nonsense. A psychological study suggests: If a person's conversation consists of more than 90% nonsense, that person tends to feel happier. If nonsense accounts for less than 50%, that person is less likely to feel joy. The former exhibits more talkativeness and a happy smile, while the latter appears gloomy and despondent. Superficially, nonsense seems like the poison of wasting time, but the small moments of happiness in life are composed of nonsense. Maybe it's the mundane things couples talk about before sleeping; perhaps it's lovers expressing affection; perhaps it's friends chatting casually; or maybe it's the repetitive advice from parents. They might seem to lack substance, seemingly not very helpful in life. Sometimes, it might even make the listener feel annoyed, but without these conversations, life might become dull and uninteresting.

My friend often says his wife talks too much, and he can't enjoy peace when she's around.

When he's watching TV, his wife complains about his lack of household chores; when he's reading, she talks about neighbourhood gossip; when he wants to rest, she suddenly brings up their child's psychological issues. He mentions that he doesn't mind his wife's chatter but it's just that she can't get to the point every time, often being verbose and lengthy, and he can't stop her.

Once, due to a verbal dispute, his wife was very upset. After that, she became indifferent to him and vowed not to talk nonsense with him again: "Do you think I talk too much and must talk to you? Fine, I won't talk nonsense with you anymore. Let's see when you'll apologize to me!" Initially, the listener was very pleased not to have to listen to his wife's chatter anymore. But after three days, he began to feel stifled inside.

Between them, there was no silence, but his wife no longer talked as much as before. It was then that he realized his wife has a certain degree of restraint when speaking. If she doesn't want to talk, she won't say more than necessary.

Sometimes, he suddenly wanted to talk about trivial things, and his wife responded, "Don't talk nonsense!" Three days later, he apologized to his wife. I asked if he wasn't used to it. He said, "It's a bit unusual, but most importantly, I found that I quite enjoy listening to my wife's chatter. When I come home after work in the evening and listen to her talk, I relax a lot. Instead, the house is quiet, making me feel empty inside. Besides, I am her closest person. If she doesn't talk nonsense with me, who will she talk to?"

After experiencing it, you will find that having someone around with whom you can chat freely, without worrying about saying the wrong thing or talking nonsense, and without the fear of interrupting your rest, is a form of happiness. Chatter is a kind of love, and nonsense is a kind of joy. The most comfortable relationship is just like this.

With maturity, you realize that speaking is no longer easy, and talking "nonsense" is a luxury. Not everyone is willing to spend time listening to you, nor does everyone have the patience to chat with you. Efficiency is required at work, clear and concise is the best approach; in social interactions, talking too much may annoy some, leading them to make excuses to leave or directly point out your verbosity. Even with close friends, not everything can be spoken casually. Perhaps it's the fear of touching on sensitive topics, transmitting negativity, or the worry that speaking too much will lead to silent judgment, even though everything appears amicable.

The more mature you become, the more silent you may seem. Those who understand and listen to your nonsense are the real fortune. Have you ever experienced feeling troubled and unable to find someone to confide in, even hesitating to vent in social circles for fear of being labelled overdramatic? Many words that you want to express must be suppressed within, leading to increasing discomfort. People crave expression, and the root cause of much repression is the inability to find someone to confide in.

I asked a friend, "When do you feel most comfortable in life?" She said, "It's when chatting gossip with my close friend, saying some nonsense." When asked why, she replied that she couldn't explain but just felt that at that moment, all the pressure adults face disappears. Even if it's temporary, it genuinely brings happiness and relaxation.

Some say only children can sit and stare at the sunset for an entire afternoon, while adults can only hurriedly glance at the moon in the sky. However, within every adult resides a child who also craves those moments of joy and happiness?

Modern society compels us to constantly be time-conscious. Work, studies, life, all of these are crucial. Despite our hard work, life always requires some time for relaxation. Having a relationship where you can talk nonsense might be the most comfortable and happiest thing.

In truth, you don’t need to open up to everyone, nor will many genuinely resonate with you. You only need someone with whom you can talk nonsense, whether a friend, a family member, or a partner. They can provide you with a breathing space amidst your busy schedule, help you relax when coming home after work, and grant you the freedom to release pent-up emotions.

"Happiness might just be finding someone willing to listen to your nonsense." If you encounter such a person, please cherish them.

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The Friends We Lose in Middle Age

Why do people gradually have fewer friends or even lose friends as they reach middle age? There is a well-accepted explanation: in middle age, people find themselves busy, and the desire to meet friends becomes hard to fulfil. When was the last time you had a good chat with a friend? In social circles, there are moments of friends liking and greeting each other. However, most of the time, everyone seems silent. There's a saying: "No one will accompany you forever; some come and go for a certain period in your life." This quote is very apt. During middle age, people often feel that their circle of friends is diminishing.

Friends are merely companions on the journey.

There's a statement: "For middle-aged people, survival is a necessity, while friends become a luxury." It might sound harsh, but it holds some truth. Every middle-aged person is struggling for survival and striving for their family. Friends are just there for a while and then scatter. A friend shared this story:

One day, he was looking through old photos and unexpectedly found a picture of an old friend, which brought back memories of moments they had spent together. Suddenly feeling nostalgic, he picked up his phone and sent a message to his friend: "Old friend, how have you been? It's been so long." He waited for a while before getting a reply, surprisingly receiving several messages from his friend.

Initially, it was just a greeting, but then the friend began sharing his life's pressures: an ill father, huge mortgage stress, and so on. This string of messages revealed the stress and financial difficulties his friend was experiencing.

He assumed that his friend had reached out to ask for money, so he first shared his own predicament with the friend.

Upon seeing the friend's response, he hastily explained, "I was just going through old photos and missed you, so I thought I'd say hi." It was only then that he sensed the friend's understanding, receiving a reply: "It's been a while; let's catch up sometime." He understood it was a polite response.

Hence, he politely agreed but never reached out to the friend again. He learned that their once strong friendship had become fragile amidst life's trivialities. Choosing to let go and not cause any further disturbance, silently wishing each other well, was the best form of respect they could offer each other.

As children, we often believe that friends will be friends forever. It's only as we grow up that we realize there's no such thing as eternity between people. Accompanying each other for a part of the journey is warmth enough. As middle age sets in, life's burdens become heavier. We must slog for our children's education and the family's livelihood. The cost of maintaining contact with friends also disminishes, leading to fading connections. Each person has their family to attend to and silent life pressures. Along the way, parting company is an inevitable, albeit helpless, reality.

Lack of Friends in Middle Age

Perhaps everyone has this realization at some point in their life: when young, there were numerous friends, always someone to share life's ups and downs. During happy times, there were companions to share joy, and in difficult times, there was always someone willing to share the burden. However, as time passes, the number of friends decreases, and those you can confide in become few and far between. It's not until middle age that one deeply understands that even deep friendships can diverge due to individual paths; even the most sincere relationships might drift apart due to life's different trajectories.

I have two close friends with whom I once shared everything, supporting each other through thick and thin. However, our communication became rare after entering the workforce.

Once, I made a considerable effort to have dinner with them both. However, we found it hard to connect with each other's topics. They only discussed the minutiae of their children's lives, how to buy cost-effective yet reliable milk powder, and what solid foods their children should eat. I wanted to share my professional challenges, but they seemed to think that was a thing of the past.

In the end, the only common topic we had was our shared past from decades ago, making the dinner incredibly boring.

At that moment, I realized that my closest friends and I had gradually drifted apart. Interpersonal relationships are akin to seasons; they stay close only when faced with similar situations, mutual aspirations, and interests. Once removed from shared points of reference, maintaining a deep connection becomes difficult. Even so, we conceal our feelings and keep moving forward. In life's journey, we continually meet and unavoidably part ways. We need not consciously maintain certain relationships, nor do we need everyone to remain in our lives.

As middle age approaches, friends become fewer. Yet, those who remain by your side are the genuine friends. Rather than concerning oneself with the quantity of friends, it's more important to spend time nurturing those true friendships. Life inevitably brings farewells; wishing former companions well who once walked a part of your journey is sufficient. In the remaining years, we should invest in our inner selves, be with our families, and constantly work on self-improvement. When you invest more energy in personal growth, you naturally attract like-minded individuals. May the coming years find us content, unperturbed by life's gains and losses, while enriching our inner selves to pursue our dreams and become our ideal selves.

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