The Most Comfortable Relationship Is When You Can Talk "Nonsense"

"Being comfortable refers to being able to chat about any topic, and the other person can keep up with the conversation. This is not because the other person is extensively knowledgeable, but because they are extremely interested in the topic." Even if it's the kind of time-wasting nonsense. A psychological study suggests: If a person's conversation consists of more than 90% nonsense, that person tends to feel happier. If nonsense accounts for less than 50%, that person is less likely to feel joy. The former exhibits more talkativeness and a happy smile, while the latter appears gloomy and despondent. Superficially, nonsense seems like the poison of wasting time, but the small moments of happiness in life are composed of nonsense. Maybe it's the mundane things couples talk about before sleeping; perhaps it's lovers expressing affection; perhaps it's friends chatting casually; or maybe it's the repetitive advice from parents. They might seem to lack substance, seemingly not very helpful in life. Sometimes, it might even make the listener feel annoyed, but without these conversations, life might become dull and uninteresting.

My friend often says his wife talks too much, and he can't enjoy peace when she's around.

When he's watching TV, his wife complains about his lack of household chores; when he's reading, she talks about neighbourhood gossip; when he wants to rest, she suddenly brings up their child's psychological issues. He mentions that he doesn't mind his wife's chatter but it's just that she can't get to the point every time, often being verbose and lengthy, and he can't stop her.

Once, due to a verbal dispute, his wife was very upset. After that, she became indifferent to him and vowed not to talk nonsense with him again: "Do you think I talk too much and must talk to you? Fine, I won't talk nonsense with you anymore. Let's see when you'll apologize to me!" Initially, the listener was very pleased not to have to listen to his wife's chatter anymore. But after three days, he began to feel stifled inside.

Between them, there was no silence, but his wife no longer talked as much as before. It was then that he realized his wife has a certain degree of restraint when speaking. If she doesn't want to talk, she won't say more than necessary.

Sometimes, he suddenly wanted to talk about trivial things, and his wife responded, "Don't talk nonsense!" Three days later, he apologized to his wife. I asked if he wasn't used to it. He said, "It's a bit unusual, but most importantly, I found that I quite enjoy listening to my wife's chatter. When I come home after work in the evening and listen to her talk, I relax a lot. Instead, the house is quiet, making me feel empty inside. Besides, I am her closest person. If she doesn't talk nonsense with me, who will she talk to?"

After experiencing it, you will find that having someone around with whom you can chat freely, without worrying about saying the wrong thing or talking nonsense, and without the fear of interrupting your rest, is a form of happiness. Chatter is a kind of love, and nonsense is a kind of joy. The most comfortable relationship is just like this.

With maturity, you realize that speaking is no longer easy, and talking "nonsense" is a luxury. Not everyone is willing to spend time listening to you, nor does everyone have the patience to chat with you. Efficiency is required at work, clear and concise is the best approach; in social interactions, talking too much may annoy some, leading them to make excuses to leave or directly point out your verbosity. Even with close friends, not everything can be spoken casually. Perhaps it's the fear of touching on sensitive topics, transmitting negativity, or the worry that speaking too much will lead to silent judgment, even though everything appears amicable.

The more mature you become, the more silent you may seem. Those who understand and listen to your nonsense are the real fortune. Have you ever experienced feeling troubled and unable to find someone to confide in, even hesitating to vent in social circles for fear of being labelled overdramatic? Many words that you want to express must be suppressed within, leading to increasing discomfort. People crave expression, and the root cause of much repression is the inability to find someone to confide in.

I asked a friend, "When do you feel most comfortable in life?" She said, "It's when chatting gossip with my close friend, saying some nonsense." When asked why, she replied that she couldn't explain but just felt that at that moment, all the pressure adults face disappears. Even if it's temporary, it genuinely brings happiness and relaxation.

Some say only children can sit and stare at the sunset for an entire afternoon, while adults can only hurriedly glance at the moon in the sky. However, within every adult resides a child who also craves those moments of joy and happiness?

Modern society compels us to constantly be time-conscious. Work, studies, life, all of these are crucial. Despite our hard work, life always requires some time for relaxation. Having a relationship where you can talk nonsense might be the most comfortable and happiest thing.

In truth, you don’t need to open up to everyone, nor will many genuinely resonate with you. You only need someone with whom you can talk nonsense, whether a friend, a family member, or a partner. They can provide you with a breathing space amidst your busy schedule, help you relax when coming home after work, and grant you the freedom to release pent-up emotions.

"Happiness might just be finding someone willing to listen to your nonsense." If you encounter such a person, please cherish them.

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