Should you lend people money or not?

 

01

At the beginning of this year, my friend Chris and his wife had been quarrelling over this issue of lending money. Chris had agreed to lend money to his relative in order to have a wedding banquet.

Chris is straightforward guy and is honest with others. But in the eyes of his wife, Chris is too nice and she is worried that he is being deceived by others.

1. Chris’ relative borrowed 15k on the grounds of decorating the house end of last year and I heard that his relative have not repaid him the full sum yet.

2. When Chris bought a house, he wanted to borrow money from these relatives at the beginning, but he was rejected straight in the face, and this time his relative wanted to borrow money which Chris agreed to lend.

 

02

In my humble opinion, to borrow or lend money, in addition to the emotional considerations, we should also rationally examine the three borrowing principles:

1. Borrowing money, liken to investing, requires background checks

From Chris’ experience, he cannot bear to reject others, so he has to suffer himself.

To lend someone money, you must first know the ‘credit score ‘of the other party. If you are close enough with the potential borrower, you will definitely know the lifestyle, character and the purpose of borrowing money; you will probably know whether you can lend or not. Remember: the money is yours, not others! There is nothing wrong with not lending! So don't feel bad about not lending. If you need to refuse, you must refuse.

If you refuse to lend him money, you may lose this friendship; but if you lend him money, you may lose the friendship + money.

No matter what, the "friend" who always thinks about borrowing money from you is no longer a real friend, so it's even more understandable not to lend.

2. Agree on terms and abide to them

Borrowing money from anyone will incur interests. If the borrower can initiate the interest rate based on the borrowed sum that will reduce the awkwardness between them next time.

3. The bottom line of borrowing money

No matter what is the reason for borrowing money, it is nothing more than to win the understanding and sympathy of the borrower. If the borrower is ill or has no income for a period of time and other reasonable reasons, can consider his character and lend some money appropriately.

We can abide by the principle of "saving the emergency, not the poor".

What is the secret of maintaining friendship between friends? Don't lend money! Don't try to borrow money, and don't agree to borrow money easily.

Instead of owing favours to borrow money, it is better to learn how to plan and manage money. It is better to get a bank loan if it is possible.

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Life will be much simpler if we don't think too much

01

The life of an adult is often busy with work, and cant voice out the grievances yet in front of people, we seem strong most of the times.

Although we can no longer cry like a child, we can still talk about our worries with our close ones and relieve the pressure on us.

When facing a "bad life", adults often adopt a self-digestive approach, which some people call "mature". It is precisely because of the pressure of "maturity" that we always carry everything on our own. But only oneself knows how bitter this taste is.

Don't hide everything in your heart, and stress yourself too much. We must always learn to release the pressure bit by bit, and constantly clear the negative emotions. Only by taking off the burden and loading lightly can we move forward courageously.

02

Letting go is easy said than done, it is always too difficult to do.

In fact, there is nothing that people want but cannot let go.

If you can't get it, why bother to pursue it; if you have lost it, why not forget it? Only when you have problems in your heart will you be burdened. When you put too many useless things into your mind, where can you hold good things?

"If you have been walking for a long time and still can't see hope, maybe it Is time to change the direction; for one thing, if you think about it for a long time and still get stuck in your mind, then choose to let it go."

No matter what annoying things you encounter, don't worry, the best attitude is to let go, learn to laugh at it, and treat it indifferently. After all, everyone possesses and loses; one chooses and gives up.

03

The greatest wealth in life is not material possessions, but spiritual abundance. Let go of unrealistic pursuits, there will be fewer and fewer worries and happiness will increase day by day.

Nine out of ten times when life is unsatisfactory, sadness is also part of life. If you want to live a happy life, don't let sorrow entrap you.

People often cannot control their own thoughts. Many of our troubles and entanglements are actually due to the complexity of simple things.. Life can be simpler if we are not stubborn.

Don’t be disturbed by the past, don’t worry about the future, and be mindful of doing things in the present. This is the best life.

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Do you feel happy spending money?

Not necessarily.

Some people feel distressed and anxious every time they spend money, because they think that they spend money again. People who do not feel stressed spending money are not as many as what we think.

Spending money is somehow shaping us inherently.

01

Every cent spent is defining our life

One of the popular marketing strategies is to entice us to treat ourselves better.

I chatted with my friend the other day, and she told me something very interesting, that she was sorting out her expenses over the past few years. She found that her expenditure was not as much as she imagined, and the place where she spent the money was very different from what she had expected.

At first, she felt that she had spent a lot of money on books and courses, but eventually found that the money spent on social networking was actually the most, and the money for books and courses only occupied a small part of the total expenditure.

This prompted her to start thinking: what kind of person she is and what encouraged her to make those decisions.

Indeed, the money we spend is inherently shaping us, allowing us to better understand who we are.

A person who loves to eat will study which store has delicious food every month, and the cost of food will be high and a person who loves freedom and scenery will spend more money on travel.

We may think that it is who I think I am, that is why I have a certain consumerism inclination. In fact, consumption is also affecting us in some way.

A person who always buys cheaper products due to discount availability, and a person who pays attention to product quality and beauty, will naturally have a different temperament.

There is no right or wrong but to state that the impact of consumption is indeed subtle.

02

The more you know how to spend money, the more you know who you are

Some people feel that they are always spending money, but is there really such a thing as “Wasting money”?

It can be said that this is more about how well a person understands oneself.

When I clearly know who I am, what kind of things I need, what kind of living environment I need, and what products to use, then the consumption decision is naturally very clear.

It is not because a person has insufficient self-control and spends money indiscriminately, but because he does not know what he wants, so he can only spend money blindly. Therefore, a person who knows how to spend money will naturally choose a product that suits him well, whether it is a simple shower gel, a piece of clothing, or even a house.

Of course, it's not that the more expensive the better, but the best for you at the moment.

Take for example, a piece of clothing. If it feels comfortable to wear and can highlight one's own personality, then it is suitable, regardless of the price. It can cheap or expensive.

At the same time, if the money is spent, and it does not make me more aware of what kind of person I am and what I need, then it is indeed a waste of money.

03

The philosophy of spending money is also the philosophy of making money

Rich people like to say “People who don't know how to spend money won't make money.”

This sentence makes sense for me. When you can't even spend money, naturally you have no motivation to make money, and you don't know how to make better use of money.

And spending money is like making money, the simpler the more powerful.

It has nothing to do with price or income, just about who I am.

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