Prime Years' Pinnacle: Managing 35-55 Strategically

The age of 35 marks a critical milestone in life. Before 35, people are usually in their prime youth, a time for learning, accumulating experiences, and continuous experimentation. After 35, life gradually matures, and we need to seriously consider everything, whether it's the burdens of life or the gifts of fate. As Yang Jiang said, "Choose the right path, not the easy one, to truly find yourself."

Today, I'd like to share three powerful rules of life, hoping to inspire you.

Harness the "Ripple Effect"

There's a profound story I once heard. A man, feeling unsuccessful, went to seek advice from a master. The master took him to a lake and threw a stone in. "What do you see?" asked the master. "I see ripples," replied the man. The master continued, "Where do those ripples come from?" "They're caused by the stone you just threw," the man answered. The master smiled and said, "Now try to stop those ripples." The man tried to interfere, but his attempt only caused more ripples, leaving him puzzled. The master cheerfully said, "Life is like that lake. Every step you take might not seem significant at first, but silently shapes your future path." After 35, we should understand that true strength isn't just about moving forward with perseverance but also looking forward. Strong individuals realize that every step taken today lays the foundation for the future.

Cultivate "Story Thinking"

After 35, meticulously tend to every small aspect of the present. Although the gains may seem meagre each time, each step accumulates and eventually builds a strong force. Cultivate "story thinking." A popular view on the internet says, "The most important ability a person can possess isn't mastering technology or marketing but telling a story." Life isn't a monotonous single-lane road; it's a series of vivid, ever-changing scenes. Wise individuals adeptly use the "power of storytelling": they transform dull problems into lively and captivating stories, making tedious truths engaging. When communication becomes swift and clear, the problems at hand naturally become more manageable.

I have heard an educative story. A mother noticed her child always peeking at the answers while doing homework. She repeatedly advised the child, "You must think on your own, homework has significance for testing and improvement..." Predictably, the child didn't listen and the behaviour even worsened. Later, she changed her strategy and decided to first tell the child a story: There was an archer who went to the archer's country to find a highly respected teacher to improve his archery skills. He crossed forests, scaled mountains, and found many arrows perfectly hitting the bulls eye on a tree. Eventually, he met the king, who didn't seem to possess remarkable skills. He asked, "How do you manage to hit the bulls eye with every arrow?" The king smiled and replied, "Anyone can do it. Shoot an arrow first, then draw a bulls eye around it." After hearing this story, the mother looked at the child and said, "Practice is the same. There's no progress in having all the answers correct." The child laughed, then willingly handed the answers to the mother. Logical reasoning might not be easy to persuade, but stories can give people rational insights.

Creating a "Moat"

I once heard an intriguing metaphor: If you liken a person to a castle, there must be a deep and steep moat surrounding it. This moat represents a person's core, ensuring an area of undisturbed refuge, even in the face of external threats. After 35, various pressures come in abundance. Without unique strengths, it's challenging to stand out in life's intense competition. But nothing can defeat someone with a strong core. The strength of one's core determines how smooth the future will be. Life is filled with uncertainties. The only thing we can do is not let today become tomorrow's regret. The best way to create the future is to start now and constantly improve oneself. Establish your moat to better confront the unknown future. After 35, life enters its second half. It's not noble to be better than others; true nobility lies in transcending one's past self. Managing well is a summary of the first half of life and a foundation for future life. May both you and I adhere to these three rules of the strong, crafting an ideal life in life's most crucial period.

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Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

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Happiness in Life is More Important than Anything Else

Life always has imperfections; even the ordinary and trivial days reveal the depth of life. The essence of life lies not in wealth and status but in enjoying beautiful experiences and having a heart that appreciates the scenery. Only by living every ordinary day steadfastly can one experience the best of life. The meaning of life doesn't lie in external possessions but in inner richness. To live a beautiful life, one must work diligently, make efforts without excessively pursuing unrealistic fantasies. Even in the face of immense challenges, one must strive to overcome them and move forward despite the storms. Excessively expecting things beyond reach only depletes energy, making life heavier.

Life is about calmly facing everything in front of us, aiming to achieve equanimity and positively seizing it. Do not become addicted to fantasies or lose yourself in the future, but learn to be content with what you have. Live every moment with the best attitude and face each ordinary day calmly. With this approach, what can hinder happiness in life? In this world, possessing a happy mindset is more important than anything else. Keeping a positive attitude, having a broad mind, learning to step forward or back appropriately, balancing pros and cons with goodwill and calmness will fill life with warmth and tranquillity. Understand that life is a journey. As long as we maintain a youthful mindset and cherish the present, our days will be full of peace and happiness, and life will be pleasant and fulfilling.

Indeed, living a simple life allows you to experience peace, and a peaceful mindset allows you to go further. We only have one life, and it won't repeat itself. In this brief life, to live happily, the first step is to shape a good heart. To find happiness, one must adapt to the environment and accept nature. Because happiness comes from inner contentment, and true happiness comes from a satisfied heart. Only by nurturing a serene and peaceful mind will life naturally become joyful and relaxed. Making our state of mind cheerful, optimistic, and free is what we should possess in this world. In reality, every individual experiences unique confusion. Life has never been completely smooth, nor is it ever perfect. Only by maintaining a calm and open mindset, learning to cherish and treat with kindness, will our days be full of unexpected happiness and splendour.

As individuals, if we don't experience the joys and sorrows of life, if we don't confront life's challenges, then we can't truly comprehend the meaning of life. Everyone who comes to this world wishes for a colourful life, hoping for happiness and fulfilment. However, in reality, everyone faces their own setbacks and difficulties. As long as we don't lose heart, remain confident, do not be disheartened when facing setbacks, and smile in the face of life's trivialities, I believe we can overcome any difficulties. Because there's no eternal smooth sailing, no one can go through life without any challenges. Even if we fall, we can stand up again, as long as we maintain a peaceful mindset and fearlessly face hardships; no difficulty is insurmountable. Life is about experiencing the various flavors of the world, witnessing joy and sorrow. To be a qualified visitor in this world, not to waste this journey of life. As long as we and our family are safe and healthy, a peaceful and worry-free life is the most beautiful time in life.

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Sudden Realizations

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Sudden Realizations

Some say that life is like a journey filled with numerous trials. It's akin to a stone tumbling into a stream, initially with sharp edges, but over time, as it's worn down by the water's flow, it loses its edges, becoming smoother and rounder.

This process might be filled with pain, yet it's the path to growth. As days go by, the seasons change. After experiencing many things, we suddenly understand.

About Life

Suddenly, I understand: Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good enough. Everyone will face a dark period. During those days, we endure tremendous pressure. It might be long-term efforts that didn't achieve our goals; or giving a lot but not getting recognition; or having well-thought-out ideas but not receiving family understanding. Many things bind us, making us feel tired. However, life is like this; many times, things don’t go as we wish. Perhaps, for some time, life might feel incredibly challenging, with no hope in sight. But as the saying goes: "Do your best, try your hardest, and then let fate decide." When one path is blocked, take another; when a problem is hard to grasp, change your mindset to solve it. After one experiences all the darkness, they’ll realize the difficulties once thought of were not worth worrying about.

Don’t look like you can't handle a little pressure. Don't feel that the future is dark because of a little uncertainty. Don't be disheartened by a setback. In this life, there will inevitably be wrong paths, hardships, setbacks, and traps, and not one will be missing. Persist, get through, move on, and good fortune will naturally come. Living healthily, peacefully, happily, and being moderately busy is already good. In the years to come, may you adjust your mindset, go with the flow, and not let life's pressures burden your life.

About Life Pace

Suddenly, I understand: Each person's life pace is different, and there's no need to be anxious because others got something ahead of us. Have you ever felt like this: throughout our lives, we’re always being chased by the relentless flow of time. In our teens, we fret about academic achievement, and if a classmate scores a bit higher, we rush to study harder; In our twenties, we fret about work and marriage, hastily entering matrimony upon seeing friends married; In our thirties, we fret about children and houses, scrimping while spending significantly on kids' classes and juggling mortgage payments, longing for a bigger home; In our forties, we fret about unemployment, diligently working while pondering side businesses to boost income. Many people spend their entire lives in frenzy, always feeling anxious. They never get the chance to leisurely enjoy the beauty of the world, savouring the bloom and withering, the ebb and flow of clouds. But this kind of life is just too exhausting. One should understand that everyone's pace of life is different.

About Own Pace

Some take 3 minutes for instant noodles; others spend 3 hours making soup. While someone's takeout has arrived at their doorstep, another has just finished chopping garlic and meat. At the barbecue stall, the quickest to be ready is the cucumber dish, and in some buns, the first bite might lack meat. Choose the path you believe is right and proceed with determination, free from unnecessary thoughts. Everyone's pace in life is different; no need to be anxious because someone got something ahead of you. Rather than worrying all day, remain calm, and follow your own rhythm. Take a moment, complete what you should do, be practical, and take one step at a time. The efforts you put in during March and April will naturally yield answers in August and September.

About Love

Suddenly, I understand: Love should be a process that helps each other become better, not mutual depletion. There was a topic asking: "What grievances have you experienced in love?" The comments were quite heart-wrenching. Some went through arduous paths to see someone but received only coldness and indifference. Others meticulously sacrificed, yet all they got was the other's intense demands. Some were treated as invaluable while cherishing their partners as treasures. And others, despite being genuine partners, never appeared in the other's social circles, as if they were a secret lover.

Have you also lost yourself in love and gradually become someone else?

Haruki Murakami once said: "I have the thought of leaving you. It’s not because you're bad, nor that I don’t love you anymore. It's just that the way you treat me makes me feel your world doesn't lack my presence. I could choose to cling to you desperately, but it's pointless. When I'm with you, I become worse, bringing out my weaknesses, impatience, jealousy, and insecurity, evoking the worst side of my character. Therefore, instead of draining each other, it's better to let go. If in a relationship, all you feel is grievances and unhappiness, it's better to let go. A good love should be two people facing life's tests side by side, not making you lose your passion and belief in life. This life is long; there may be many challenges in the future, but being with someone truly in love can help hold up an umbrella against the storms life bring."

May you learn to reconcile with life in the future, without pressuring yourself too much or overanxious, and not sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn't genuinely love you. Let the past fade away and don't worry too much about gains and losses.

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Reflections: To Myself Gradually Growing Old

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