This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

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Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

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Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

In this long journey of life, we will encounter thousands upon thousands of people. Within these myriad encounters, we gather numerous beautiful memories that are unforgettable. Meeting our parents, we receive the most selfless love in the world; meeting benefactors, we receive help and guidance; meeting friends, we acquire sincere companionship... Each encounter is a gift from heaven, and every favour is worth remembering and promptly repaying. As the saying goes: "Pay back debts; it's only natural," and for the kindness we receive, it's our responsibility to express gratitude. Ultimately, life is a journey of repayment. The more kindness we receive, the more we should repay. Only by not owing anyone can we face ourselves without any guilt.

The Debt of Parental Upbringing

The greatest debt we owe in life comes from our parents. Indeed, the kindness of parents is indescribable, surpassing the boundaries of the world. Our life is bestowed upon us by our parents; our healthy growth is thanks to their nurturing. The favour our parents grant us is beyond all else and worth repaying throughout our lives. In childhood, parents unreservedly shower us with love; hence, when they grow older, it's our responsibility to wholeheartedly repay their love. Filial piety towards parents is the greatest virtue of children. Embracing their shortcomings, caring for them attentively, is not just accumulating blessings for ourselves but also accumulating our own virtues. Remember, everyone will grow old, so treating our parents well is not just treating them well but treating ourselves well. Respecting our parents also sets an example for our own children because, when they grow up, they will hold the same respect for us. There's a saying: "The favour of upbringing is greater than the heavens; being filial to parents is the most noble act." Don't wait until the day when "children desire to provide, but parents are no longer around" to regret not treasuring and repaying them earnestly. We owe our parents so much; they give without seeking anything in return, they contribute without asking. As children, it is our duty to repay our parents' love, to return their kindness. When they grow old, be patient, reduce impatience; visit home more often within their limited time, accompany them more, fulfil filial duties timely, and prevent any lingering regrets.

The Significance of Benefactors' Support

Life is filled with twists and turns, and everyone encounters difficulties that aren't easily resolved. In these moments, you'll discover who around you is genuine and who is pretentious. The world is filled with superficial appearances; it's easy to find people who'll help you, but receiving genuine assistance during tough times is rare. The most precious things in life are not money or status, but having someone by your side, offering support, hope, and strength when you're in trouble. Some people are kind to you with ulterior motives; once you no longer serve their interests, they will depart. However, some individuals are genuinely good to you, not for any other reason but because they find you worthy and help you selflessly. In life, we should steer clear of those who are unkind to us and cherish those who treat us well. It's said that "a drop of water shall be returned with a burst of spring." Those who help us in times of distress deserve eternal gratitude, and whenever possible, we should reciprocate their assistance. After all, nobody is obligated to help us; these people who extend their hands to us are our benefactors in life. They provide support when we're helpless and guidance when we're perplexed. It's because of them that we have achieved what we have today. These feelings of gratitude from benefactors are extremely valuable and should be forever engraved in our hearts; their kindness should be remembered eternally and repaid and cherished. Everything in life is transient; receiving goodwill also means giving back goodwill. Only through mutual giving can emotions last.

The Understanding between Friends

In life, we often endure numerous grievances and pains that we can't easily share with our families and even if others may not understand. In such situations where there's nowhere to vent and no one to share with, we can only silently endure and digest this pressure on our own. Sometimes, situations aren't easy, yet we're forced to accept this reality. This is because everyone has their own difficulties and misfortunes, and rarely do people genuinely care about your inner feelings, willing to listen to your distress and share your worries. Most people maintain polite and courteous superficial pleasantries, only speaking in false tones at the dining table. True confidants, those who can truly share adversities with you, are extremely rare. How many true friends can one have in a lifetime? In this vast world, not everyone has the opportunity to know each other, and not everyone can resonate with you. Those who don't understand you often can't truly comprehend your feelings; they only watch when you're in trouble and might even mock or ridicule. Only a true friend can genuinely understand you, trust you, stand unconditionally by your side, becoming your strongest support. Having a confidant prevents you from feeling lonely on life's journey.

During weariness, there will always be someone who cares; during grievance, there will always be someone who provides comfort. During joy, there will always be someone to share with you; during disappointment, there will always be someone to support you. Having a confidant is a rare stroke of luck, not something that's easily found. Therefore, if you're fortunate enough to have this, it should be treasured. Not only should you wholeheartedly remember the kindness others show you, but you should also reciprocate their sincerity through practical actions. Life is a journey of repayment; when you receive warmth, you must repay it with sincerity, and when you receive sincerity, you should reciprocate it with genuine affection. In life, you often hear people lament about the complexities of interpersonal relationships. However, in reality, the connection between people is simply a process of sharing emotions. Life is like an echo; what you give will determine what you receive; the more you give, the more you'll receive. Understanding reciprocity is an appreciation for friendship, while understanding gratitude is a form of respect for genuine emotions.

In this vast world, people meet, understand each other, and stand by each other; everyone experiences ups and downs. Only those who carry a heart of dedication and gratitude can possess enduring love and happiness. Life is a journey of repayment; when you gain, you must know to give back in time. Only through this can friendships endure without debts or obligations. Cherish to have possession, and gratitude will ensure an everlasting relationship.

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The Toughest Aspects of Life

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The Toughest Aspects of Life

What is the toughest part of life?

In life, regardless of your position, there are inevitable challenges. Each sentence tells the undeniable truth—once you read it, you'll understand!

The Hardest to Maintain is Health Having a healthy body is life's greatest fortune. Having health doesn’t mean you have everything, but without it, all else is in vain. Keeping a healthy body is the greatest responsibility to yourself and your family. With good health, you can be there for your loved ones until old age, witness your children grow, and take care of your parents. Only 4.3% of the global population has perfect health; approximately 3.2 billion people (about a third of the world's population) have five different diseases simultaneously; over half the population has ten different diseases at once. Presently, just by having good health, you're already ahead of 95% of the global population. Maintaining health is the most challenging, especially living longer in good health. Ensuring balanced meals three times a day, getting a full 8 hours of sleep, and doing 30 minutes of exercise daily—these might sound simple but are incredibly difficult to practice, and many can't accomplish it throughout their lives.

The Most Challenging to Change is Habit Why do they say "rivers are easy to change, human nature is hard to change"? This is because changing a person's temperament is most challenging when it comes to altering their habits. A person's temperament throughout life is, in essence, a combination of numerous habits. Just 21 days of consistency can create a habit. In life, seemingly trivial habits contain significant power. Good habits can shape a person's success, while bad habits can destroy a person. Aligning one's actions with one's beliefs is incredibly challenging. Understanding principles is easy, but putting them into practice is very difficult. This is why we often comprehend many truths but still struggle to live well.

The Most Inscrutable is the Human Heart The depth and treachery of the human heart are more profound and dangerous than the deepest seas and valleys and more complex than the ever-changing clouds. Because the human heart is deeply hidden, outsiders can never fully comprehend it. Life is short, spend time with those who bring joy to your heart. For those you can't understand, don't guess; for those you can't tolerate, stay away; for those growing distant, let go. Never hastily conclude that you deeply understand someone; never naively believe someone deserves your profound trust. Some words are best left heard without being taken to heart; some things are better understood without being openly discussed; some people are better known without being exposed; some feelings are best let go of without being fixated. Not everyone deserves your full investment; not everything is worth giving your all. Approach the world with kindness; most importantly, protect yourself amidst changing relationships.

The Hardest to Retain is Time

Time seems short, fleeting like an arrow, sometimes slipping through like a stream of water. Time flies by like a swift arrow, never to return. Day after day, year after year, time ceases to exist, leaving only irreversible past events. People live through life, and often, problems keep coming. The river of time flows relentlessly, unchanging for itself. Unless it's life and death, nothing is insurmountable. Cherish every moment now; don't wait to regret when it's lost; don't wait until old age to rue!

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Revitalize Your World: The Magic of Quality Sleep

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Revitalize Your World: The Magic of Quality Sleep

How long has it been since you had a good night's sleep?

Medicine cannot compare to diet, and diet cannot compare to sleep.

A good night's sleep surpasses all tonics for health.

Proper sleep is the best respect for life.

One of the greatest mistakes humanity makes is trading health for material external things.

Recently, a nurse friend of mine encountered health issues, transitioning from a compassionate caregiver to a patient. Working at the hospital often meant night shifts, leaving her so tired upon returning home that she'd collapse into bed. The chronic lack of sleep left her fatigued, and she appeared much thinner. It wasn't until one day when she finally broke down.

During a late-night, she suddenly felt a fever in her abdomen, feeling dizzy and having severe insomnia. Rushing to the hospital at dawn, the doctor took one look and said, "Just by looking at you, I can tell you haven't been sleeping well."

Her irregular sleep patterns had weakened her immune system, impacting the functioning of her body's organs, especially deteriorating her gastrointestinal function. The doctor's prescription was succinct—just four words: "Get enough sleep."

Our bodies rely 30% on medical treatment and 70% on self-care. Only with adequate sleep can one live well. In today's fast-paced life, avoiding late nights has become the hardest thing for us to discipline ourselves.

Proper sleep is the most precious luxury for every adult. \"Staying up late has become a show of dedication, working hard has become taken for granted. When life is gone, who will protect whom?" Life is a marathon, and ultimately, health is what matters. Health is the '1', while career, money, status, family, and others are the trailing '0's. Without '1', no matter how many '0's are added, they mean nothing.

Being kind to oneself, avoiding late nights, is the best respect for life. A good night's sleep enables a good life in the latter years. Turgenev once said, "Sleep is like the cool wave that cleanses all unnecessary thoughts from the brain." Good sleep is the best cleansing for the brain.

Life is tough, relying 30% on treatment and 70% on self-healing. And the body's best self-healing ability is through sleep. Proper sleep is the best care for oneself. Caring for oneself is the start of a lifelong romance.

Good Sleep is the Panacea for All

In the book "Why We Sleep," an author delves into the realm of sleep, beginning with the statement: Scientists have discovered a revolutionary elixir for prolonging life. It enhances memory, increases attractiveness, helps maintain a slender figure, reduces appetite, prevents cancer and dementia, lessens colds and flu, and reduces the risk of heart disease, heart attacks, and diabetes. It also boosts happiness, reducing feelings of depression and anxiety. This versatile remedy isn't a luxury but sleep. Good sleep is the cure for everything.

Good sleep is the best investment in oneself. "The smarter you are, the more you understand the need for rest." "Ordinary people are bothered by trivial matters while eating, and their sleep is often fraught with dreams and scattered thoughts. A practitioner focuses only on the present, eating mindfully when eating and sleeping with no other distractions." We may not control the environment, but we can adjust our mindset. Adapting to nature and the path to wellness, eating and sleeping are essential; sleep is revolutionary. It's our sleep bank. Those who manage their sleep bank well can live better. A capable person can control their rest rhythm and understand the significance of good rest to lead their life. Good night, may you sleep well!

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Not Worth It

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Not Worth It

"What makes people feel weary is not the distant mountains but the grain of sand in their shoes." Many people facing setbacks in life aren't dealing with enormous challenges, but rather trivial things. Yet, it's these seemingly unimportant little matters that continually drain one's energy. With life spanning just a few decades, why bother with those unworthy people and matters? Why let insignificant trifles upset us? Inner peace and tranquillity will foster a more joyful state.

Don't Entangle Yourself in Unworthy Matters

In this world, every matter has its cost. Wasting time on unworthy matters inevitably leads to missing out on other wonderful opportunities.

In ancient times, there was a person named Min who bought a clay pot on the road and accidentally broke it. Without a glance, Min walked away. Some passersby found this odd and asked, "Your pot is broken. Why didn't you even take a look?" Min replied, "The pot is already broken. What's the use in looking at it again?" This teaches us that many things we cannot change, but we can choose our own attitude.

For Min, staying back to regret a broken pot might have caused him to miss the inn for the night's rest or the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the sunset. Rather than wasting one's life entangled in unworthy matters, the better choice is to move forward directly, not to linger, not to regret, and not to look back.

At any time and place, things not worth it aren’t worth regretting, and unworthy matters aren’t worth entangling. Be a calm, composed, and wise person.

Unworthy People, Not Worth Worrying About

Author David Pollay once wrote a book called "The Law of the Garbage Truck." He expressed the view that many people in the world are like garbage trucks, filled with complaints, anger, disappointment, and other negative emotions, wandering around.

Such people, when facing difficulties and setbacks, are full of complaints about life's unfairness. When experiencing emotional setbacks, they're constantly unhappy, affecting their normal eating and sleeping. Also, they find it difficult to let go of the rumours and gossip around them and secretly bear grudges. Such individuals are everywhere in life.

If you give these people a chance, they will pour various negative energies onto you, wasting not only your time but also draining your emotions. When facing such people, don’t invest too much of your emotions, just smile politely and then walk away gracefully.

Because you still want to enjoy the beautiful evening sunset, have a sumptuous dinner at home, share laughter with your family, and have heartfelt conversations with your children. Life becomes more precious as it ages; every day that remains is worth treasuring.

Don't let unworthy people affect your emotions; instead, pay attention to those who are more precious and significant in your life.

Unworthy Objects, Not Worth Clinging To

Have you ever experienced this?

You carefully fold those shopping bags, saving them for possible future use. But eventually, the pile of bags fills your cabinets, rarely finding any practical use, leading to their disposal.

Similarly, those leftovers from lunch carefully sealed and stored in the fridge for future consumption. However, just three days later, you find spoiled food, causing discomfort and extra expenses, damaging your health and wealth.

Sometimes, you might excessively value material possessions, sacrificing the quality of life. Wasting time on unworthy items actually limits your opportunity to enjoy better and more valuable things.

Considering that life doesn’t allow carrying these things forward, why compromise yourself? Throughout your life, don’t let meaningless items occupy your living space. Clear them out to make room for more cherished items, enhancing your life's enjoyment.

Life is beautiful yet brief; we genuinely don’t have much time and energy to waste on unworthy things. Free yourself from these limitations, and your life will shine once again. Reduce troubles, increase composure; decrease worries, increase freedom. No matter what difficulties life throws at you, always maintain a composed heart. May your desires come true, your actions be smooth, filled with joy, tranquillity, and peace.

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Embracing the Essence of Human Nature

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Embracing the Essence of Human Nature

Most of the troubles in our lives actually originate from interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, a few words can make people feel warm, but sometimes a single expression can strike fear in them. There's a saying: "The human heart is unfathomable, human nature is ever-changing."

We absolutely should not overly trust specific individuals.

Not Many People Sincerely Want You to Succeed

Both kindness and darkness coexist in people; they often can't stand others doing better than themselves. People around you becoming successful is often more easily envied than those achieving distant glory. A proverb goes: "Aside from parents and a few close friends, there are very few people who genuinely feel happy because of your success. More people ask about your affairs just to confirm you're doing worse than them." Though brutal, this is a facet of human nature.

So, when you find yourself in trouble, do not expect support from others. There are many people to accompany you in joy, but very few willing to share your hardships. When you succeed, refrain from boasting to those around you. There are very few who genuinely rejoice in your success, while those who are envious are many.

Your life is your own, and it doesn't concern others. Experience pain, relish happiness without revealing the intricacies of life to others. Learn to be modest, composed, control your edges, and even in ordinary days, you'll shine.

Others Only See the Results; You Have to Go Through the Process Alone

Some say, "Every person has a fire in their heart, but those passing by only see the smoke." This phrase is deeply resonant. In the adult world, someone understanding you is fortunate, but relying on your own strength is the greatest support.

You hope others understand your struggles, but who isn't going through their own difficulties? You expect someone to traverse hardships with you, but who isn't carrying their own burdens?

Do not blame others for not understanding your plight, nor complain about the cruelty of reality or the indifference of human feelings. Because life is like this; others only see the outcome, while you face the process alone.

So, when you encounter a low point, don't disturb anyone, and never get upset because of being ignored. Don't feel disheartened due to being cold-shouldered; quietly work hard and put in the effort.

The less care you receive from others, the more self-respect and self-love you should exhibit. The more you lack companions, the more courageously you must move forward. Learning to grow within yourself is the way to flourish outwardly. Don't struggle with present emotions because your goal is to stand out based on your abilities one day.

Allow Yourself to Be You, Allow Others to Be Themselves

There's a popular question online: "How to deal with being around certain people whom you don't like but have to be with every day?"

A highly praised answer is: "Allow yourself to be yourself, while also allowing others to be themselves."

Interpersonal relationships are an unavoidable issue, and if you cannot accept it internally, it will bring suffering. Just as you need to allow that some people may not like you, you must also permit the existence of people around you whom you don't like. You must allow your thoughts to not be accepted and also permit others to adhere to their views. Don't force others to change, and don't compel yourself to assimilate.

In the world of adults, there is only filtering, not teaching; there's only choice, not change. Endurance will harm you, blaming will hurt the other person, only allowing will set you free. Ignore those you dislike, cherish those you like. Stick to what you love, allow what you don't, respect what you don't understand, and do what you should do. Don't harbor resentment, don't let things affect your inner self. Respect differences, self-reflect, and find inner joy.

Offer a Helping Hand, but Don't Strain to Assist

"People should do some voluntary work, but there's no need to go to excessive lengths to help others."

If it's within your capabilities, lend a hand, but if it goes beyond your abilities, you shouldn’t strain yourself.

If you put in a lot of effort to complete a task, and others consider it to be simple, not only showing no gratitude but also expecting more help from you; if you agree to help but can't manage, it not only disrupts the matter but also affects relationships, making you feel aggrieved and causing a negative impression.

So, when facing requests from others, don't take on things beyond your capability. Doing your best is an attitude, and acting according to your capacity is a wise decision.

Help to the best of your abilities when you can, and learn to refuse when it's beyond your capacity.

Don't overly worry about damaging relationships by declining; true friends will understand your predicament and won't make you uncomfortable.

Never Judge Others Casually

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact; everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Never stand in your own position and casually judge others. This is the most basic form of respect between mature individuals.

If you haven’t lived through someone else's life, do not rush to express your opinion, as your comments will likely be one-sided. If you haven’t deeply understood someone else's life, don’t draw hasty conclusions, as your judgment could be incorrect.

There's a saying: "Kind words are like the warmth of winter; harsh words are like the chill of June."

Do not let the stinging words from your mouth become a blade that hurts others and ultimately harms yourself.

Understand that there are no secrets to be spoken; speaking cautiously is the wisest choice. The wiser someone is, the more they focus on themselves, while those restless and superficial individuals love to gossip about others.

Silently reflecting on one's own mistakes, refraining from easily judging others, doing things with a sincere heart, and being cautious with words is the way to live.

Don't Always Seek to Triumph in Words

"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who want to win, and those who want to win an argument."

When a person insists too much on winning verbally, it not only creates an impression of arrogance but may also appear undesirable due to emotional outbursts.

Never directly oppose others' views. Life is not an arena, and one shouldn't always seek to defeat others in verbal debates.

Understand that language is a tool for conveying emotions and solving problems, not a weapon for victory.

Many times, we seem to have the upper hand but actually suffer considerable losses. Arguing with loved ones, winning the argument but losing the relationship; arguing with unimportant individuals, winning vanity but losing dignity.

"Always aiming to win in words is the basest behaviour."

If you're right, there's no need for arguing; if you're wrong, there's no point in debating.

Learn to maintain the dignity of yourself and others in communication, provide a sense of superiority to others—this is the wisdom of dealing with people.

I strongly agree with the phrase: "The most valuable thing is not that we are all the same, but knowing that 'we are different' and still being able to respect and understand each other, communicate while maintaining our independence, without conforming, degrading, flattering, or crossing boundaries."

Interpersonal communication is like practicing, it requires wisdom. Learning to be sincere and setting boundaries, being close but not excessively so, being cautious and proper in handling affairs, and maintaining an appropriate distance in relationships are among the most important elements of sustaining all relationships.

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24 tips to make you socially successful in the world

Some feelings, only oneself understands

The saddest moments in life are when you truly don't want to say or do anything. You just want to be alone in silence for a while.

There are many people around you saying, "If you have any troubles, remember to talk to me." But every time you feel troubled, you open your phone, look at a long list of contacts, and don't know who to reach out to.

The words you want to say are always composed and then deleted. Or, when the call connects, and you hear the other person's voice, suddenly you don't want to talk anymore. No matter what others ask, you say everything is fine, it's okay.

In this world, there are some feelings that only you understand. No matter how you describe your feelings, others only understand the surface. Some people think you're not strong enough, some think you're too dramatic, and some even want to rub salt in your wounds.

I once saw a question: Why do people become silent as they grow up?

Because you start to understand that even if you say a lot, even if your dependence runs deep, the number of people who can truly help you is few. Sometimes silence is not because there's nothing to say, but it's more like, "Let me get through this toughest time, then I'll talk to you about the past with a smile."

Maybe one day, when we face the past, all the sad emotions can be relieved. All the entanglements, hesitations, and confusion will no longer be a stone at the bottom of your heart.

Just as the saying goes: "When you've walked through the darkest tunnel, you'll no longer fear any dark night. You'll have the courage to face all kinds of challenges and the confidence to become a better person."

Whether it's joy or sorrow now, learn to heal yourself, then silently strive, shining like a star, surprising everyone.

How have you been lately? How's your mood? When you're feeling down, how do you console yourself?