Revitalize: Embracing Exercise for Lifelong Well-being After Middle Age

Have you ever experienced this:

When work stress mounts and you feel restless, going for a run immediately lifts your mood significantly.

Feeling sad and down, struggling to get motivated, breaking into sweat quickly brings relief.

Exercise seems to have a magical effect, releasing stress, relieving boredom, and swiftly lifting you out of emotional turmoil.

Just 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can immediately improve depressive moods and restore a sense of pleasure.

"If you're feeling down, exercising will lift your mood, and that feeling of knowing you're about to get better will completely change your mindset."

As people enter middle age, work, life, and family matters pile up, bringing constant worries.

Instead of feeling lost in emotional turmoil, why not dissipate it through the joy of exercise?

Getting moving is actually the simplest way for us to relieve anxiety and stress.

Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing.

Psychologists have found that exercise has "short-term emotional effects".

Specifically, after exercise, levels of negative emotions like anxiety and depression significantly decrease, while feelings of happiness significantly increase.

This phenomenon is determined by the unique structure of the human body:

When faced with difficulties, the amygdala in the brain continuously releases stress hormones, making us feel nervous and anxious.

Exercise allows the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus in the body to inhibit the excessive reaction of the amygdala, thereby alleviating emotions.

As the saying goes, "Exercise is a quick-acting remedy for emotional healing."

I once came across a story shared by a netizen, which left a deep impression:

An elder, in his fifties, lost his son.

Unable to accept reality, he was melancholic all day long, shedding tears.

One fine day, the elder's office organized a running event.

His colleagues hoped to change his mood and took the initiative to sign him up and brought him to the event.

After persevering through it, this elder completed the entire run.

Unexpectedly, it was this exhilarating run that began to change his life:

Upon reaching the finish line, he listened to his own heartbeat and felt an unprecedented sense of relaxation.

And all the negative emotions seemed to be temporarily forgotten.

From then on, he started morning runs regularly.

Day after day, he gradually emerged from the pain of losing his son, no longer feeling angry or sad all day long, and even became more emotionally stable than before.

Exercise is an efficient "spiritual detox," evaporating negative emotions along with sweat, refreshing both body and mind.

So, when you're feeling down, why not exercise? Go for a run, punch a bag, kick a ball, swim...

With the rhythmic breathing and stretching of the body, the shackles of emotions will quietly loosen, and everything will return to peace without a fuss.

Finnish scientists have conducted specialized experiments on this:

They found 10 pairs of twins and had one exercise at least twice a week, while the other one did not exercise.

Three years later, it was found that those who exercised every week had clearer thinking, and were better able to cope with stress.

To gain continuous emotional control, one must maintain a long-term exercise habit.

In this way, emotional issues can be addressed from the root.

Middle age is a time when the waves of stress are constantly rising and falling:

The oppression of setbacks in the workplace, pessimism in marriage, and helplessness in life... The waves of emotions challenge our hearts time and time again.

And exercise is the simplest way to improve cognition and manage emotions.

By constantly elevating cognition through exercise, one can truly gain the power to resist the flood of emotions.

In this way, even with the twists and turns of life, we can still find a way out.

Exercise not only heals the present gloomy mood but also provides long-lasting spiritual nourishment.

To manage your emotions through exercise, you may consider the following suggestions:

Choose exercises based on emotions to quickly dispel negativity.

Feeling angry? Try boxing.

Overwhelmed with stress? Try yoga.

Feeling impulsive? Go hiking.

Feeling sad and upset? Dive into the pool.

Maintain a long-term exercise habit to hold the key to emotions.

In addition to short-term emotional relief, making exercise a habit to thoroughly improve cognition and enhance the ability to manage emotions.

Regarding the perseverance of long-term exercise, here are some suggestions:

Exercise at least 3 times a week, each time for about 45 minutes.

Focus on aerobic training, while also incorporating strength training, ensuring a significant increase in heart rate during exercise.

Maintain enthusiasm for exercise and avoid giving up halfway. Here are a few tips to use:

a. Set gradual goals

b. Diversify exercise choices

c. Join a sports groups

Middle age is an age when life is not easy, but we must persevere.

When you encounter setbacks and are filled with sadness, go exercise.

With your head held high, sweat pouring, the haze in your heart will eventually dissipate.

When you feel anxious and stuck in inner conflicts, also go exercise.

Stretch out your arms, keep moving, and all the suppression will vanish with the wind.

When you are self-sufficient and disciplined enough, you will find that there are no hurdles that cannot be overcome and no problems that cannot be solved.

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Escaping the Comfort Zone: The Most Toxic Chicken Soup I Ever Had

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Escaping the Comfort Zone: The Most Toxic Chicken Soup I Ever Had

As the end of the year approaches, it seems like everyone is falling into various states of confusion:

Maybe you're about to graduate, torn between the careers your family recommend and your own aspirations;

Maybe you've been working hard for years, only to find that your job no longer suits you;

Or perhaps you want to invest your energy outside of work and find a side hustle that suits you.

At times like these, it seems like everyone around you is earnestly advising:

"Staying in your comfort zone all the time will make you stagnant; only by stepping out of your comfort zone can you become a better version of yourself."

But what's the reality?

When you want to step out but lack suitable references, you can't help but feel lost and confused.

Is stepping out of the comfort zone really about going to uncomfortable places?

The more appropriate advice should be trying to continually expand our comfort zone to make more things comfortable for us.

Stepping out of the comfort zone isn't about breaking it, but about establishing and expanding more comfort zones.

Everything should be based on your own capabilities, take it easy.

As soon as you hear the word "comfort," many people's first reaction is to think it's not progressive.

"Young people should strive hard. If you don't work hard now, you'll regret it later."

"Why don't you go for a master's degree? Having a degree will make it much easier to find a job or switch jobs."

This panic of falling behind forces those who have finally caught their breath to keep busy.

Once they stumble, there are people behind them saying with a strange tone, "See, I knew it wouldn't work. I should have advised you to change earlier."

Feeling restless and wanting to relax online, what you see is:

Naturally beautiful women still doing homework every day to maintain their appearance; knowledgeable scholars tirelessly sharing study abroad opportunities; sweet couples continuously recommending items to warm up their relationships...

These groundless "appearance anxiety," "financial anxiety," and "educational anxiety" spring up like whirlpools.

So, we start desperately trying to escape our old selves.

But have you ever thought that this isn't stepping out of your comfort zone but stepping into the circle drawn by others?

Many netizens have asked, "Is choosing to stay in your comfort zone not progressive?"

Jumping around, hitting walls everywhere, she still didn't live the better life her mother wanted.

Stepping away from comfort and embracing discomfort must be the right thing to do, right?

Even if you listen to others and change your environment, what then?

For someone who doesn't like studying, even if you drag them to the library, they'll still play with their phones;

For someone who's used to living in the countryside, even if you take them to adapt to the big city, they still can't seek change.

The stupidest thing is to abandon your strengths and desperately try to compete with others in areas where you're weak, suddenly switch careers to compete with experts.

And those who advise you to step out of your comfort zone with ill intentions are just trying to make money off your anxiety.

There's absolutely no need to use the "glamorous and bright" in other people's mouths as a reference to measure your own life.

Being blindly led by others will only bury your own brilliance.

Just like for fish, stepping out of the comfort zone should be from the pond to the river, not from water to land.

What we really should do is to base everything on ourselves and take it easy.

After all, in this life, knowing who you are, what you want to do, is enough.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is a ridiculous idea.

When you're in your comfort zone, you feel like you're in control and safe;

When you're in the learning zone, you face challenges but don't feel too uncomfortable;

When you jump into the panic zone, facing things far beyond your abilities, you're very likely to collapse.

That's why truly smart people never easily step out of their comfort zone but constantly expand it.

As the saying goes, "Not everyone has to live like a warrior in life."

If you like reading and writing, there's no need to force yourself to rely on speaking to make a living;

If you like to work quietly alone, there's no need to force yourself to be sociable;

Only by forgetting about the idea of "stepping out" and trying to expand your comfort zone as much as possible, getting familiar with more and more environments, will your heart be more stable.

In this way, your life will have both relaxed pleasure and high-speed fun.

In the end, every area becomes your comfort zone.

Such a life is wonderful.

I once heard a saying:

The scariest thing for a person is to stay in one place all the time, limit their own life, and draw lines, missing out on more possibilities.

Indeed, if you stay in your comfort zone for too long, it will become a breeding ground for laziness.

But to avoid this situation, you don't necessarily have to go to extremes.

It's more like a tree, firmly rooted in the ground to withstand the storm.

Digging Deep into the Comfort Zone: Creating New Layers Around What You're Good At

I think of a friend around me.

She has worked for two well-known media companies, and then she jumped to a booming tech company.

In theory, such a woman with career planning and professional skills should continue to advance step by step and strive for better jobs in the workplace.

But two years ago, she suddenly told me that she had quit her job and planned to start her own media platform.

I asked her why, and she only said that in today's rapidly changing content landscape, she wanted to explore more possibilities related to "writing."

In hindsight, she was right and met a better version of herself in her passion.

After all the twists and turns, it's hard for a person to get rid of their talents, interests, and industry accumulations to do things.

Without talent, you can't be strong; without interests, you can't last long; without industry experience, it's impossible to make money.

Just like why a compass can draw circles, because it has its center of gravity.

Life is like drawing a circle.

Once you've determined the center, just keep going, and you'll draw a complete circle.

Expanding the Comfort Zone: Expand the Edge of the Comfort Zone Outward and Turn the Learning Zone into the Comfort Zone

So how do you gradually expand your comfort zone?

A line from a movie might inspire us—

"You have to go to a restaurant one day and order a dish you've never ordered before, eat it all, and then realize it's quite delicious."

In daily life, you might as well set aside 15% of your time and energy to try things you've never done before, understand aspects of life or ideas you've never tried to understand.

For example, buy a book you've never been interested in before, sign up for a course you've never thought of taking, accept an invitation you were planning to refuse, or actively talk to a colleague you're not very familiar with...

You don't have to force yourself to go out, just try to explore the edge of your comfort zone slowly and expand it.

It's like when a gym trainer asks students to do two more sets of exercises when they can't.

You might ask why, but actually, doing these two extra sets each time promotes the continuous tearing and growth of muscles, ultimately achieving the goal of fitness.

That's 80% comfortable and 20% boundary breakthroughs.

Once you take the first step, you'll find that it's not as terrifying as you thought.

Someone once asked about "how to step out of the comfort zone," and expert only replied with, "Why?"

Expert isn't asking for a reason, but letting the person ask himself why he want to step out of his comfort zone. Once you have an answer, you naturally know how to do it."

Indeed, the answer to this question lies within ourselves.

When you know who you are, where to go, and what to do, whether you're inside or outside the circle becomes irrelevant.

Next year, if someone advises you to step out of your comfort zone again, you can confidently reply:

"No need, I've already learned how to expand my own comfort zone."

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Holding Back: The Power of Resisting Correction

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Holding Back: The Power of Resisting Correction

The consequences of correcting others often result in both parties being hurt. We all dislike being forced. Even if we know the other person is right and has our best interests at heart, we also fear rejection. When others fail to appreciate our efforts, we feel hurt and aggrieved. Such situations constantly occur in our lives, causing us distress yet becoming accustomed to it.

Most people have a tendency to correct each other, especially among those closest to us. However, many of these "corrections" are entirely unnecessary for us. 

No one likes to be persuaded. 

Forcing others to act according to our will only exacerbates the differences between us. When neither side can convince the other, logic and facts become less important, and emotions ultimately prevail. This leads to the escalation of problems, eventually rising from differences of opinion to moral and personal attacks.

Why do people always want to correct others?

Yes, it is to prove that they are right.

There is a weakness in human nature: due to limited attention, each person only notices what they want to pay attention to. This is called "selective attention" in psychology, which limits our behavior and cognitive patterns. Consequently, what we perceive as indisputable facts are often just "partial facts." When we can stand in the other person's shoes, we may realize that what they insist on, which we deemed foolish, is actually not wrong.

Every individual has their own values and needs to defend them. Values are like a house where we reside and survive, allowing us to live with dignity and security. Forcing others to live according to our values is like inviting a fish to visit the land. 

Even if the world on land is much more exciting than the river, it's something the fish cannot withstand. They only want to escape, seek help, protect themselves, and preserve their territory where they feel safe. Respecting others' values allows them to maintain their dignity and independence.

It's essential to understand the concept of a "stable self" for personal growth and development. It refers to having a stable sense of self-worth and not being changed by external denial or questioning. When we have a stable sense of self-worth, we no longer need the courage to control others. Others are no longer tools to maintain emotional stability, and we gain emotional independence.

No one likes to be forced. Everyone wants to live life according to their own wishes. People detest being changed or coerced by external forces because they have their own values to defend. Therefore, the best way to change others and the world is to change ourselves.

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Ghosted: The Ultimate Adult Rejection

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Ghosted: The Ultimate Adult Rejection

In this fast-paced world, communication between people has become increasingly important. However, rejection is an inevitable part of everyone's life. For adults, the most ruthless rejection may not be a straightforward "no," but rather the silent "ghosting."

In social situations, we often encounter scenarios where we receive a message but choose not to respond after reading it. Behind this "not responding" behavior, there are many complex psychological activities and social factors at play. Today, let's delve into this topic, analyze the reasons behind "not responding," and discuss how to deal with such situations.

In the adult world, rejection often requires strategy and tact. Directly saying "no" may hurt the other person's feelings, leading to embarrassment or even conflict. In contrast, "not responding" seems to be a more subtle and implicit way. Through this approach, the rejecter can avoid direct conflict while also conveying an unspoken signal — rejection.

Busyness and Distraction:

Modern life is fast-paced, and people often face various trivial matters and distractions. Sometimes, we receive a message but, due to being busy with other tasks or having our attention divided, we fail to respond promptly. As time passes, the urge to reply or the sense of responsibility gradually diminishes, leading to the choice of not responding.

Uncertainty of How to Respond:

In some situations, people may receive questions or requests that are difficult to answer, leaving them unsure of how to respond. To avoid the embarrassment or misunderstanding that may arise from giving an improper response, they choose not to reply to maintain silence.

Avoiding Conflict or Harming Others' Feelings:

Sometimes, the words of rejection may hurt others and lead to unnecessary conflicts. To avoid such situations, some people choose not to respond as an indirect way to express their stance and attitude.

Understanding Individual Differences:

Everyone has their own habits and ways of doing things. Some people may indeed choose not to respond due to personality traits or habits, not out of intention.

In such cases, understanding individual differences and respecting the other person's way of doing things is crucial.

Clear Communication Goals:

Before sending a message, it's essential to clarify one's communication goals and expectations. If you expect a response from the other party, clearly state your request in the message to avoid ambiguity.

Maintaining Reasonable Expectations:

Not everyone will respond to your messages promptly, which does not necessarily mean they disrespect you or are indifferent. Sometimes, people may need time to think or deal with things. Therefore, maintaining reasonable expectations can help reduce unnecessary distress.

Honest Communication:

If you feel dissatisfied or confused about someone's lack of response, instead of speculating in your mind, it's better to choose an appropriate time to have an honest conversation with them. Through open and honest dialogue, we can better understand each other's needs and expectations, promoting the harmonious development of relationships.

Self-reflection and Learning:

Put yourself in others' shoes and reflect on your own handling of others' messages. Have there been situations where you forgot to reply due to busyness or other reasons? Learn from these experiences and remind yourself to respond to others' messages promptly, cultivating good communication habits.

In conclusion, "ghosting" as a rejection method is quite prevalent among adults. Understanding the reasons behind it and ways to deal with it can help us better navigate the subtle interactions in interpersonal relationships. Through understanding, honest communication, self-reflection, and learning, we can maturely handle such situations and inject more harmony and trust into our relationships with others.

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"What color do you like reveals who you are!

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"What color do you like reveals who you are!

Wearing a newly purchased down jacket, I walked into the office.

My colleague exclaimed, "You are really a yellow professional! Another yellow outfit."

As she said this, my mind quickly flashed through the many clothes in my closet, and indeed, most of them were yellow: turmeric, orange-yellow, deep yellow, cream yellow, mustard yellow...

Are you also like me, infatuated with a certain color? Unconsciously, this color has filled your entire life: clothes, home decor, accessories...

In fact, psychology has long shown that the color you like reveals your personality and temperament.

Isn't it amazing? Come and find your favorite color!

Red: Passionate and bold

People who like red, like the color itself, are bold and passionate.

As an outgoing person, you seem to have an inexhaustible enthusiasm and easily get along with people around you.

In your world, there are no friends you can't make, only friends you haven't met yet.

Because of your openness, positivity, and ability to showcase your personality traits, you will be a particularly "shining" presence in a crowd.

This also means that you will have a kind of leadership aura and become a central figure in a group.

Interacting with people who have a red personality, you won't feel dull; you will be infected by their personal charm and become passionate and bold involuntarily.

Yellow: Light-hearted and cheerful

People who like yellow have a personality that is somewhere between flamboyant and low-key, relatively gentle, and not so sharp.

Most of the time, you tend to treat people and things around you with a relatively mild attitude, rarely engaging in direct conflicts, giving people a sunny and positive feeling.

You don't particularly like to stand out, nor do you want to be completely ignored.

You may yearn for some understanding and attention from the outside world, but not too much.

Of course, you will also devote time and energy to your own goals, quietly moving towards them step by step.

When interacting with people who have a yellow personality, you may not feel too much surprise or excitement, but you will definitely feel a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere like a peaceful and sunny day.

Green: Open and peaceful

Green, known as the "color of life."

It symbolizes harmony, vitality, and hope, a color that makes people feel comfortable and relaxed.

If you like green, you are like the color itself: open and peaceful, calm and low-key, without too many ambitions.

But deep down, you have a guiding light that leads you forward, always following your own rhythm, steadily approaching the lighthouse in your heart step by step.

You, who don't fight or compete, won't miss out on anything because of your "moderate path." Instead, your resilient character ensures that you get what you deserve.

When dealing with people who have a green personality, you don't need to worry about their intentions; their inherent kindness is enough to make you feel completely at ease.

Black: Low-key and reserved

"Black is the most stable color, containing all colors within it."

People who like black have a relatively stable and reserved personality, not showing their edges and corners, giving people a somewhat difficult-to-approach feeling.

However, this is just an illusion.

People with a black personality may seem a bit aloof on the surface. But in their character, there is actually a solid sense of down-to-earthness that makes people feel grounded.

This is closely related to their stable mental state. People who like black usually have a firm sense of self, their own ideas, and external influences rarely have a significant impact on them.

This is why when interacting with people with a black personality, you feel a sense of security.

White: Elegant and pure

The elegant and pure white gives people a sense of coldness and inaccessibility.

But unlike the "aloofness" of black, which gives a sense of heaviness and stability, white gives a sense of lightness and silence.

If you like white, you are probably a perfectionist, instinctively rejecting anything too complicated.

You advocate for a minimalist lifestyle, preferring pure people and things, unwilling to invest too much energy in complex interpersonal relationships, and firmly refusing to trouble others with tasks you can handle yourself.

People with a white personality are often in a "observer" role, quietly observing the world. While appearing calm on the surface, the inner turmoil is known only to themselves.

The extreme pursuit of the spiritual world makes people with a white personality seem a bit aloof. In fact, they are just interacting with the world in a way that suits them comfortably.

Grey: Cautious and steady

Grey is a color between black and white.

It combines the heaviness of black with the lightness of white, and is relatively restrained and dynamic, also being the most balanced color.

People who like grey have a stable core, handle things cautiously, and don't give off a strong impression to others.

Because they often balance various forces, they can easily give people a sense of mystery that is hard to understand or grasp.

This is not a flaw; instead, in life and work, you can better control the overall situation and become the highlight of the scene.

While people with a grey personality may not stand out in a crowd, after getting to know them deeply, others may be attracted by their understated warmth and their ability to consider the bigger picture.

Pink: Gentle and delicate

Compared to the maturity and steadiness of black, white, and grey, the pink personality feels a bit brighter and happier.

People who like pink usually have a girlish heart, with innocence, romance, and gentleness as their personality traits.

In your eyes, there is not much darkness in the world; you are more willing to believe in the inherent goodness of human nature, which, of course, may lead to being hurt.

But even in the face of injustice and hardship, you are always willing to see the beauty in everything, slowly healing yourself in a way that suits you.

With a bit of sensitivity and delicacy, mixed with gentleness and resilience, you, who like pink, find the most powerful way to confront this broken world.

Orange: Full of vitality

Compared to other colors, orange has a very strong visual impact.

And this impact comes with great inclusiveness.

It's not as bright and direct as red, but it's brighter and more intense than yellow. It's soft yet full of vitality, making people feel amazed and comfortable.

This also means that people who like orange, like the color itself, are bright and enthusiastic, full of vitality, and always able to attract like-minded people effortlessly.

With this natural attraction, people with an orange personality rarely have interpersonal troubles and have especially good relationships.

In short, the orange personality is a sacred presence, shining and gentle in the crowd, unique yet inclusive.

Purple: Mysterious and romantic

When it comes to purple, most people will probably associate it with one word: romance.

People who like purple have romance ingrained in their genes, so in art, you also have a sensitivity that is different from ordinary people.

Looking at the crowd, people with a purple personality won't stand out too much; they may even immerse themselves quietly in their own world. But even so, it's hard to ignore the strong artistic atmosphere emanating from them.

This is also the mystery of the purple personality. You attach great importance to spiritual satisfaction and have an ultimate pursuit of deep resonance within the soul.

To many, some of your behaviors may be confusing. But you know in your heart that only people with similar souls understand your "unearthly" qualities.

This is the purple personality, romantic, mysterious, individualistic, independent, sensitive, and somewhat distant. But it is these qualities that constitute the romantic and mysterious tone: purple.

Blue: Rational and tranquil

Blue represents the color of the sea.

It also symbolizes tranquility, rationality, openness, and profundity...

People who like blue are relatively stable, giving people a sense of detachment from fame and fortune, and a calm feeling of being aloof from the world.

Compared to the excitement of red and the openness of green, blue is slightly cold.

This is also why people with a blue personality may leave a melancholic and distant impression on others. It is this sense of detachment that allows you to focus on yourself without being overly disturbed by the outside world.

Some people may distance themselves from you because of this, but for people with a blue personality, rationality ultimately outweighs emotionality, choosing to respect others in order to maintain outward peace.

People with a blue personality may seem outwardly rational and cold, but in fact, they are very sensitive, and sensitive people are mostly kind-hearted.

Each color personality has a corresponding core motive.

Every color we like is a projection of our psychological motives.

Different personalities have different psychological motives, which directly or indirectly affect our attitudes towards life and life choices.

Colors are neither good nor bad, and personalities are neither superior nor inferior. May we all live out our unique charm in our own lives."

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Adulting Aces: 10 Unspoken Social Rules

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Adulting Aces: 10 Unspoken Social Rules

My four-year-old niece wanted to go play with the little friend who always ends up fighting when they gather.

I felt worried, fearing they would end up fighting again.

But my niece didn't care at all. She innocently said to me, "It's okay, if we really fight while playing, we will still play after fighting!"

At that moment, I suddenly felt that the interaction between children is so straightforward and honest: they play together when they want to, and even if they fight, they can still continue playing without any hard feelings.

However, the interaction between adults is much more subtle.

A single word, a gesture, a facial expression... even a glance could cause a relationship to fall apart.

Adult socializing is far more complex than we imagine.

Therefore, no matter who we are dealing with, the sooner we understand these 10 unspoken rules, the better.

1.There are no permanent friends or enemies.

In reality, when it comes to human relationships, everything revolves around self-interest.

"All the world is full of hustle and bustle for benefits."

The people we meet on the journey of life, whether friends or enemies, can instantly change roles because of the word "benefit."

Good friends may turn into enemies due to conflicts of interest, and enemies may form alliances due to common benefits.

There are no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent interests.

2.Being soft-hearted and shy will only harm yourself.

Those who are too soft-hearted would rather compromise themselves to suit others.

Shy people feel embarrassed about this and that, eventually sacrificing their own feelings.

The essence of being soft-hearted and embarrassed is to make things difficult for oneself.

By caring too much about others, we end up seeing ourselves as objects that can be sacrificed at any moment.

Life is already difficult enough; don't let soft-heartedness and embarrassment kill you.

3.Someone who doesn't want to trouble others definitely doesn't want to be troubled.

For most of us, aside from work and overtime, we have very little time for ourselves.

In the adult world, busyness is the norm.

Busy with work, busy with life, busy with everything in the world...

When a person is in such a busy state, saying they don't want to trouble others implies that they also don't want to be troubled by others.

This isn't cold-heartedness; it's a way of guarding one's boundaries.

Moderate trouble between people can strengthen relationships, but excessive trouble is rude.

4.When lending money to others, be prepared to not get it back.

The moment money is lent out, the initiative is no longer in one's hands. When and how it is repaid is no longer up to oneself.

Often, the lender is left with no option but to justify not repaying the money, while the borrower is left empty-handed.

So, don't easily lend money to others.

If you must lend, be prepared to not get it back when lending money to others.

5.Be confident in your intuition; everything that makes you uncomfortable is true.

Comfort is the most important thing when dealing with anyone.

When you frequently feel ignored, suppressed, sad, anxious... or simply inexplicably displeased while interacting with someone, don't doubt yourself, and don't make excuses for the other person. Everything that makes you uncomfortable is true.

Those who truly care about you won't leave you in a state of uncertainty but will provide you with enough certainty and faith to nourish your relationship.

6.Conflict is the best test of a relationship's depth.

Would you constantly avoid conflicts for fear of damaging a relationship?

If so, then perhaps you should try facing a conflict and see what happens.

Because conflict is the best test of a relationship's depth.

Those relationships that fall apart after a single conflict were never deep to begin with.

It's the relationships that withstand arguments and insults that truly deserve the label of "deep."

The sky is bluer after being washed by rain; relationships that endure conflicts are stronger.

7.Don't talk about unhappy things too often; many times, others just take them as jokes.

I used to think that when you're in a low point, sharing your troubles would bring emotional relief.

But I later found out that when you reveal too much vulnerability, you might not only receive superficial comfort but also become the subject of ridicule behind your back.

It's not that we're overthinking; it's that human nature can't withstand tests.

You might think others would sympathize with you, but in reality, they might just see your troubles as material for jokes.

When you're feeling down, don't casually confide in others; look inward for solace, and you'll heal in time.

8.Don't easily send long voice messages to others.

If you were to ask what behavior people dislike most in communication?

Sending voice messages without regard for time and place, especially long ones, would undoubtedly top the list.

Just imagine: you're in a meeting, and someone sends you several voice messages in a row. Would you listen to them?

Whether you're on the subway after work, just getting your child to sleep, or chatting with friends... sending voice messages at inappropriate times can be very off-putting.

Even if someone is willing to listen to a voice message, what if they can't understand it due to various reasons?

So, when chatting, type if you can, and if you must use voice messages, make sure to get the other person's consent first.

9.Sometimes, not responding is the best response.

Knocking on a door that won't open becomes impolite after a while.

Sometimes, not responding is the best response.

Among adults, people tend to be more reserved than straightforward, and not every response needs to be explicitly stated.

Not responding often signifies unwillingness, disinterest, or inability to comply.

Asking again would not only be pointless but also embarrassing for both parties.

Instead, give each other a way out; understand and remain silent, and perhaps you'll meet again someday.

10.When you're trying not to offend anyone, you end up offending everyone.

"The most difficult thing in the world is?" Someone commented: "Putting your thoughts into someone else's head."

Not all birds fly under the same sky, nor do all fish inhabit the same sea. People are the same; not everyone lives in the same environment.

This means we will have different perceptions, preferences, and habits of life, and naturally, different ways of interacting with others.

So, there's no need to demand that others be like us.

If you're trying not to offend anyone, you end up offending everyone.

Just like if something is good for everyone, it also mean that it is not good for everyone.

In this world, you might strive for fitness, learning, wealth...

and you may receive excellent rewards for your efforts.

However, maintaining relationships between people isn't easy and might even become more difficult the harder you try.

Human relationships require mutual effort.

If you're making efforts to maintain a relationship while the other person is not reciprocating, you'll never truly get close.

Rather than wasting time maintaining such a relationship, it's better to improve yourself. If you flourish, the breeze will come naturally.

Good relationships are about attraction, not effort.

Because in that case, not only are you miserable, but to others, it's like a disaster.

When adults interact, the exhaustion comes from there always being too much left unsaid, words left unspoken, and endless rounds of speculation standing between each other.

These 10 unspoken rules for adults to get along with each other might not be openly stated, but they are crucial. Truly understanding them can solve most of the troubles we encounter in interpersonal communication.

May we walk through this world without being burdened by others, without being trapped by relationships, and live freely throughout our lives.

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Beyond Kindness: The Power Play in Relations

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Beyond Kindness: The Power Play in Relations

Interpersonal relationships are the mutual connections and interactions between people, forming a complex and subtle network. In this network, our relationships with others are not solely based on our kindness and efforts towards them but are closely related to our own strength and resources. This cruel reality tells us that the power disparity in interpersonal relationships is unavoidable.

First and foremost, we need to understand the nature of interpersonal relationships. They involve a process of exchanging interests and interactions, where people constantly seek to establish connections with others for their own benefit. This establishment of connections is often based on the resources and capabilities each party possesses, rather than mere emotions. Therefore, when our strength and resources are sufficient, we have more chips to exchange benefits with others, thereby forming better interpersonal relationships.

Secondly, an individual's strength determines their position and influence in interpersonal relationships. In such relationships, power often serves as the foundation of authority. Having more resources and capabilities means we have greater authority and influence. We can attract others to establish connections with us by providing assistance, support, or opportunities. Conversely, when we rely on others, our position is relatively weaker, and we need to depend on them to obtain the benefits and resources we require.

However, this power-based interpersonal relationship does not imply that we should pursue our interests at all costs. In interpersonal relationships, we should always uphold principles of fairness, integrity, and honesty. Our strength is not only reflected in the number of chips we hold but also in our character and behavior. Only by striving for our interests through legitimate means and ways can we establish truly healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, we should also recognize that interpersonal relationships are not one-sided; they involve mutual interaction and influence. Although our strength may be insufficient, we can compensate for our weaknesses by cooperating and assisting others. Uniting others and establishing a good network of interpersonal relationships can enhance our overall strength and resources, thus placing us in a more advantageous position within these relationships.

Lastly, we need to understand the complexity and variability of interpersonal relationships. Relationships between people are extensive and constantly changing, influenced by various factors such as interests, emotions, and ideologies. We should not solely focus on our current strength and chips but should always pay attention to and adjust our own state and attitude to adapt to the ever-changing nature of interpersonal relationships.

The brutal reality of interpersonal relationships tells us that our relationship with others is not solely determined by how good we are to them but also by our own strength and resources. We need to understand the nature of interpersonal relationships, recognize the importance of strength and resources within them, but at the same time, not overlook principles of honesty and integrity. Through cooperation and mutual assistance with others, we can compensate for our weaknesses and establish healthy, harmonious interpersonal relationships. Most importantly, we need to constantly pay attention to and adjust our own state and attitude to address the various challenges and changes in interpersonal relationships.

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