This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

Read Also:

Life is Like a Journey of Repayment!

Listen: Podcast

You must work hard and persevere silently until you have achieved results

Before you produce any good grades, you must study, improve your abilities, and strengthen your skills. Everyone must work hard before they succeed. If you don't work hard, you will never get the affirmation and respect of others.

Others can just say that your work is wrong, and you have no ability to argue with others. But if you work hard to change silently, when you achieve certain results, even if what you say is wrong, others will think that what you said is right. Only when your professional level improves and your ability is affirmed by others, others will respect you and think you are a master. If you have no ability, everyone will look down on you, and you will not listen to what you say, and others will not listen to you, even if what you say is right, they will not listen to you. 

Achievements are the only reason to convince others. Only if you see your own problems, you can change to improve your abilities and make yourself stronger. It's a very simple truth. A successful person is surrounded by many people. Everyone will obey what he says and does. Even old people respect him. Similarly, when you have no grades or abilities, no one will take you seriously.

 

Before you have achieved results, don't tell others about your ability and strength, because if you have no ability, you have no achievements, and you simply don't have the ability to support you to argue with others, even if you are right. So before you have no achievement, only by doing things silently and doing things well, can you be affirmed and respected by others, and what you say has weight.

 

As a boss or as a leader or as a technical worker, you must have achievements in your profession and be able to do things well. If you can only talk, but has no actual action or ability, others will not obey you. Even if you are the leader, others will look down on you. Because they think that you don't have the ability but to rely on others to help you do it, and others will always respect the strong. Ordinary people like us work very hard and work very hard every day, but we have no achievement and no expertise. Only when you stand out and surpass others and are more professional than others, will you become the envy of others.

 

Maybe many people think that they are very capable but this is a wrong perception. Others don’t look at how strong you are but how much you have achieved. It is only when you have real materials and achievements, others will recognize you.

 

When you haven’t reached a certain height, don’t talk about your ideals with others, or talk about your own ideas. If you talk about it, others will only think it’s a joke. When you are incapable, you must learn to bow your head to study, improve yourself, and don't argue with others about right and wrong.

 

Learn to bow your head to study hard, improve yourself silently, don't be afraid of hard work, as long as you are willing to persevere, then one day you will amaze everyone!

Read Also:

Be aware of your own weaknesses and strengths

Listen: Podcast

Be aware of your own weaknesses and strengths

Each of us must learn to look at our own shortcomings and strengths correctly. Everyone will have strengths and weaknesses, but we must look at our own strengths and weaknesses rationally from a correct perspective. Only by facing up to your own superiority can you change yourself and make yourself better.

If a person has shortcomings, if others point it out to you, you must learn to change. Many people are often unable to face up to their own shortcomings because they can't let go of their so-called face. If they compare their shortcomings with other people's advantages, of course they will lose.

A clumsy bird will always be last and be laughed at by other birds. Winter is coming, and all the birds are flying south. It thought that although it was clumsy, it could fly to the south first, so that it would never be ridiculed by others, and it didn't want to be the last one.

When it was ready, it flew to the south by itself, but it couldn't remember the direction to go to the south, and soon lost its way, so it had no choice but to fly back. When it returned, it found that other birds were gone.

It had no choice but to continue flying to the south alone, and lost its way while flying. It didn't know what to do. Eventually winter came, it was frozen to death on the road.

It is not that the path of the clumsy bird flying first is suitable for everyone. Just like this bird, you must first look at the problem from a rational perspective and see your own shortcomings. When you are not able to change yourself, you must learn to let go and learn, ask others for advice. This little bird did not correctly analyze its ability because of its own ‘face’. When your ability cannot support your face, you must learn to let go of the so-called ‘face’ and learn. Only by being able to endure the ridicule of others and being able to bend and stretch can one become stronger.

There are many such stories in life. We see that many people always like to compare themselves with others. When others use their mobile phones well, they must have one. When others wear branded clothes, they must own one. When others drive cars, they must have one. They always feel that face is very important, but you have to see if you have the ability to compare with others. Others are rich people. Of course, you can choose what you like to buy.

We are just ordinary people, face is not that important.

We also have to learn to play to our strengths and change our own weaknesses, we cannot change some shortcomings, so we have to make up for them and cover them up with our strengths. For example, if we are stupid, we need to learn more. We can practice ten times or eight times what others know at one time. Not all successful people are smart people, and stupid people will become excellent through hard work. The premise is that if you want to see your own shortcomings, you must learn to work harder than others.

Read Also:

Learn to manage your emotions

14 workplace golden rules, which can effectively help you survive in the workplace better

1. There are only two types of people in the office, the protagonist and the secondary characters

In the workplace, if you want to live a relaxed life and don't want to climb up the ladder, you can only be a secondary character for your lifetime. The disadvantage of playing a secondary character is: you will die first without any credit. Considered first during layoffs. The current workplace is definitely not a place to raise lazy people. If you want to survive better than others, you have to be the protagonist and let others be the secondary character.

2. Everyone must have great ambitions, even if they want to destroy the world

Ambitiousness is the first condition to be a protagonist. In the workplace, if you don’t have a goal, you won’t be able to climb up the ladder aggressively, and in the end you can only become a secondary character and a victim of others. So whether you want to destroy the world or become the richest man, you must have ambitions and take this as your goal.

3. Don't be fooled by ideals, ideals are needed, but not others' ideals, but your own

When mentioning great ambitions, some people will think of corporate goals, corporate culture, and impassioned speeches from the boss. Forget about those, the boss's ideal is only the boss's, but in the workplace, you are independent. Keep a clear head and not be easily fooled. No matter what ideals others have, you must firmly remember your own ambitions, which is the foundation of your life.

4. If you really have no ambition, then fight for money

Everyone wants to retire, no one will want to work for others for life. So making money is the most important pursuit of people. A very dangerous situation in the workplace is that the boss uses ideals to win over people and wants people to work for nothing without money. But if you are really willing to work without money, then you are worthless. Since you are worthless, what is the need for existence? Money is the only thing that measures your worth. If you really do not have ideals, then strive to make money.

5. You may not be smart, but you cannot be careless

The workplace is the same, you can be not smart, but you can't be careless. People who are not smart are at most clumsy and do worse things. And in the workplace, it's not a great sin. But if you are not careful, you will violate the interests of others at any time, and commit the taboo of offending others in the workplace. Keep your mouth shut, don't talk about your colleagues when you can, and don't say bad things when you can say good things about people.

6. The boss will know everything you say. So think about what to say and what not to say

Don't expect your boss not to hear what you say in private. The boss knows everything, that's the truth. It's exactly the same in the workplace, as long as you're not talking to yourself, you have to worry about the person you're talking to getting word out. And experience tells us that every comment about the company will eventually reach the ears of the boss. So when you talk to anyone, think carefully about what to say and what not to say. Never say what you shouldn't say, and shut up what you don't want to say.

7. Playing stupid is always the least likely to make mistakes no matter when

When someone asks you to make decisions, no matter how you choose, it is wrong. Then pretending to be stupid is the best choice, which is the least error-prone way when you have no choice. Don't worry about being stupid, even if everyone sees that you're being stupid, they still can't do anything about you. Those who are really unlucky are those who have made decisions.

8. Thinking of yourself as the smartest person is often the stupidest

In the workplace, always thinking of yourself as the smartest person is always a secondary character. A truly smart person is one who can be a fool or shrewd as and when necessary.

9. You must have a backing, but what is more reliable than a backing is to make yourself valuable

Therefore, in the workplace, building a good relationship with your bosses is a must, and it is very important to find a good backing for yourself. And more importantly than that, make yourself worth enough that every boss has to win you over.

10. You belong to the boss, but the boss does not necessarily belong to you.

When a boss tells you that you belong to him, you must be clear in your heart that the boss is not yours. You are his and he is his. When your affairs conflict with the interests of your superiors, they will betray you without hesitation. Always remember that you are your own and only you can be responsible for yourself. Don't believe the boss's words of pretending to be close, it will be a trap at any time.

11. The boss says he is very reassuring about you, but the fact may be just the opposite

If the boss is really at ease with you, he doesn't need to mention it often. True trust is shown through actions. When the boss is willing to do things that hurt others and fight in the workplace with you, that is a manifestation of trust. But the boss verbally said that he is relieved with you, but he should be careful. It is very likely that you have done something to make the boss suspect that you are unfaithful.

12. Think about problems from the standpoint of the boss, and do things from the standpoint of oneself

When your boss trusts you and asks you to do something, you must have a ruler, and don't do everything stupidly. You have to think about the problem from the standpoint of the boss, understand why the boss does it, and what purpose it can achieve. Then make a decision based on your own position, some do it, some shirk it. Choose to do things that are in your own interests, and evade ideas that are not in your interests. Please use what you do to please your boss, and let your boss know that you have done your best by what you don't do.

13. There must be shortcomings

In the workplace, there must be flaws. A perfect person with no flaws will be hated and respected by others. If even your boss keeps you at arm's length, your career path will be in danger. So smart people will deliberately expose some shortcomings, especially innocuous ones, so that the boss thinks he can handle you, and that is the safest situation. But the shortcomings must not be fatal, but they cannot be your real weaknesses.

14. Everyone is on the side of evil, because everyone has their own good

Finally, a word about ideals. Everyone has their own ideals, and what is good for their own ideals is good, and what is not conducive to other people's ideals is evil. Because people have different positions and different needs. So in the eyes of others, you must stand on the side of evil. You are always your own good and others' evil.

Read Also:

30 Tips for a Minimalist Life

Get a FREE copy of: Retire with a Plan A Step-by-Step Guide to Building Your Ideal Retirement Lifestyle for a limited time only.

Some tips to improve your emotional intelligence

1. Don't play with your phone while others are talking.

2. Inviting guests to a meal is equivalent to sharing. The invited person will forget about it after eating, and will not appreciate it, unless you invite a luxurious meal that he has never eaten before.

3. When you go to someone’s house as a guest, the owner of the other party doesn’t say too much, or even reminds you to drink water, or suggests watching TV, you should leave, because people always feel that they have nothing to say. Remind others to do something that doesn't matter.

4. Another day actually means forget it.

5. Before giving friend A’s contact information to friend B, it is best to ask friend A’s consent, because sometimes your friend A may not want to be disturbed by friend B, out of politeness, you’d better confirm with friend A.

6. In the office or dormitory, buy some snacks and share with everyone. A dozen of snacks can make you gain the favour of a group of people. 

7. It is very impolite to interrupt other people's speech, but if you are often interrupted by others, you should think about whether you are talking too much nonsense.

8. The less likely to get angry, it means that he has more trump cards in his hand. On the contrary, if he loses his temper at every turn, it means that he has no trump cards in his hand and only has the ability to lose his temper. The reason why people get emotional and lose their temper, that's all because of helpless actions after having no other way.

9. Um, ah, oh, these three words are the most perfunctory replies in the chat, you can either reply yes, or reply um, these are better than replying with one word.

10. Don't always think about changing yourself to cater to others.

You want to read books, but everyone is playing games. In order to integrate into them, you also play games. In the end, you fail the exam together.

11. Make money the most important thing before you are 30 years old. Don’t think about useless things. Put away your usual groaning. Only when the money is in place will you discover how beautiful the world is.

12. Your good temper, obedience, and honesty are only useful in school, and will only be liked by teachers and classmates. In society, most people don’t care whether you are good to him or not. They only care about whether they are good or not, so they often make a mess, Bad things will be given to honest people.

13. If you send a piece of text to the other party, if you don’t add emoticons or emoticons, sometimes it will cause the other party to misunderstand, because different people may have different interpretations of the same piece of text, but remember, do Don't add a smiley [smiling] emoji.

14. People who are taken advantage of and pretend to be fine are the most stupid.

You think that your good temper and tolerance can bring you a good impression, but in the eyes of others, you will only think that you are honest, easier to bully, and will take advantage of you next time. The more you treat others, the more you have no bottom line.

15. When the personality of the people around him changes a lot, either he has read a lot of books, or he has been hit hard. A person with a lively personality who loves to talk suddenly becomes silent, autistic, and cautious. , He must have experienced pain that you can't imagine.

Read Also:

What are some simple principles of interpersonal communication?

6 truths about interpersonal communication

1.    You offend people not because you say something wrong, but because you say something right.

2.    Try not to educate or persuade others. If you persuade someone who is poorer than you, he will only think you are lying to him and will not believe you.

3.    "Sad" is because you do not respect the principle of value exchange, "angry" is because you have not experienced enough, "complain" is because your current status is too bad, and you have not tried your best to reverse the situation. This is the essence.

4.    The essence of interpersonal relationship is not to help each other, but to use each other. For example, a person will not repay you because you are kind to him. However, he will definitely bow to you because you hold the "good" he wants in the future.

5.    When we are still weak, if anyone doubts us, don't refute, let alone persuade others to change their views, this is simply unrealistic. If you want to do it, do it without talking to anyone. Let the results speak for themselves.

6.    If you want to stay focused, ask yourself two questions when encountering messy issues: First, does this matter have anything to do with me? Second, can I get money? You will find that 99.99% of things can be thrown aside. Simple and crude, but very effective.

Read Also:

The gap between others and you is not at work but after work

The gap between others and you is not at work but after work

When I went to work a few days ago, I heard a worker tell her own experience. Although it was a very ordinary story, I found it very inspirational.

She is from an ordinary family, and she is the only child in the family, so her parents hope that she can have more children, saying that one child is too lonely, and in addition to the pressure of life now, the pressure on children will be even greater in the future. She herself said that she was too foolish and filial. In order to listen to her parents, she ignored the opposition of her husband's family and had more children.

For the sake of the family, she and her husband work hard every day. When she goes to work, she does not take leave, because she feels that if she takes a day off, she will not be paid a day, and she does several jobs every day. Go to the breakfast shop in the morning to sell breakfast for an hour, and then go to work. At night, she goes back to as delivery driver after work, and she can only go home to rest at one or two o'clock in the evening. What she said was that a person's greatest confidence is to have money, even if you have a husband and someone to help you, but you have to know how to make money yourself, others are unreliable, only the money you earn can be at ease when you spend it with your heart.

After their hard work, she is living a good life now, and the days are getting better and better. Although it is not as difficult as before, she still works hard, is more diligent, and insists on being a delivery driver after returning from work every day. From her confident and optimistic smile, it can be seen that she is living a good life and happy now.

As for other people, as long as they are diligent, they will have a good life. In fact, there is not much difference between each of us. What really widens the gap is everyone's cognition, ability to do things, and attitude.

Each of us has our own thoughts and opinions on everything, which depends on everyone's cognition. Cognition is the ability to recognize one thing. For example, there is a big cognitive gap between old people and young people, young people and children, farmers and workers, workers and leaders, leaders and children. Only when your cognition reaches a certain level can you change your identity and status. Everyone who wants to change himself must first improve his cognitive ability. Only when his cognition changes can he change himself. It’s very simple, if we ordinary people don’t learn to change and improve our cognitive ability, we may go on like this for the rest of our life, and you can see what you will be like in the future when you look up. What heights can be achieved. If someone makes a change, or encounters something beyond your ability, force you to change. These two types are called active change and passive change. It is difficult for most people to take the initiative to make changes, because they are used to staying in their comfort zone, not because they are forced to a dead end, and few people make changes. After all, people like a comfortable living environment and enjoyment.

You must have a good attitude when you do things. Attitude determines the height of a person. No matter how stupid or poor you are, as long as you are willing to work hard, having a good attitude will make you better and better. Even if we are at the bottom of society, as long as we have a good attitude, do things seriously, and work hard to do well. As long as you're willing to keep trying, It’s all going to get better. No matter what you do, attitude is very important. It's like when we go to work every day, some people feel that they will work hard if they are urged by the leader, and they will just muddle along for a day if they don't care about it. They always feel that they are doing things for the boss.  But how many people have thought about it, they can use work as a platform, they can change the boss, and the boss can change them, but they must always understand the truth that they can make themselves stronger and improve their ability on this platform. If you are willing to work hard and what you get is not just a salary, but more salary, higher position, and stronger ability. In the same way, you are unwilling to work hard. Wherever you go, you will take the lowest wage and do the hardest work.

The last one is ability. Ability must be based on the previous two points. If you do not have a correct understanding, you will have many detours and will always stay where you are. No matter how hard you work and how hard you make progress, you will not make great progress. You have high awareness, but without effort, without a right attitude there will be no progress. You can see that something is very profitable, but if you don't take action yourself, you will never make this money. You know that doing a job can improve your ability, but if you are unwilling to work hard, you will not improve.

The gap between others and you is getting bigger and bigger when you are off work. After you get off work, you go to play, hang out, lie down to play games, sleep, others work hard every day, study hard, and others get good grades. You always feel that others are lucky Okay, but you will never understand how much others have paid behind their backs and others use the time you squander to improve themselves. Time is the same for everyone, every day is 24 hours, but others spend their time on meaningful things, but you let your own time go to waste, this is what separates you from others.

Read Also:

Some insights from life:

Listen: Podcast

The coffee that energizes us is actually quietly stealing our energy

 
We all love coffee. Even if you don't like its taste, you will like the changes that coffee brings to your body: it makes you more focused and full of energy. But how long do the effects of coffee last? The latest research shows that coffee may not only provide people with energy, but will consume energy.

Coffee: The Culprit That Steals Your Energy

Caffeine is an adenosine antagonist. If the term is too complicated, you just need to remember that it does not generate new energy for you, but draws and depletes the energy you already have.

Adenosine is a substance secreted in the brain that acts to make people feel sleepy and regulate sleep. The more adenosine in the brain, the sleepier you are.
In addition, adenosine can also help us reduce inflammation in the body, regulate the heartbeat, and help digestion.

Your body likes regular sleep, so the brain releases adenosine on a 24-hour day and night cycle. If you force yourself to stay up late, you will feel more sleepy because your brain releases more adenosine than usual to help you fall asleep at normal times.
After consuming caffeine, the human brain does not stop secreting adenosine, its receptors are only temporarily inhibited. At this time, your state is very delicate: your body feels tired, but you yourself don't feel tired.

Like an over limit credit card, it can no longer be used after the it reaches a certain amount.
Neuroscientist and Stanford professor Andrew Huberman calls it "sleep hunger." But when the limit is met, it finally triggers the phenomenon of "coffee no longer works", that is, coffee burnout.

How to Avoid Coffee Burnout?
Caffeine is a recreational drug that is in use today.
Maybe someday in the future, it will be locked in the back of the cabinet like alcohol and prescription drugs, and minors are prohibited from touching it. But before that day comes, we need to learn to use caffeine healthily.

The first step is to understand caffeine. Here are three little-known facts about coffee:
The half-life of caffeine is five hours. This means that if you drink a cup of coffee five hours before bed, it is equivalent to drinking half a cup of coffee before going to bed.
While coffee keeps you focused and energized, it can also increase your stress.
Adenosine takes time to wear off in the morning. At the same time, many hormones are released when you wake up in the morning.

With this knowledge, you can improve the frequency of coffee drinking and ensure healthy sleep. Specifically, you can:
Stop drinking coffee ten hours before bedtime to ensure that your body can completely deplete the caffeine before bedtime and prevent it from inhibiting adenosine.
Work off any remaining stress with physical activity. If you feel anxious or tense during the day, try going for a walk or exercising.
Drinking coffee 90 minutes after waking up in the morning will give your adenosine time to wear off before you artificially (caffeine) suppress them.
Coffee is not bad.

For some of us, coffee is a life-enhancing agent that helps us regulate when we spend our energy, thereby helping us take control of our lives.
But it needs to be remembered that coffee is helping people to draw energy, not generate new energy. And all overdrawn things will eventually have to be repaid.
Keep this in mind to really deal with the relationship with caffeine.

Read Also:

After reading "Rich Dad Poor Dad" epiphany, I fell into the "rat race trap" for so long

Listen: Podcast

Do you own all six types of wealth?

 

When it comes to wealth, you probably immediately think of money. Money is indeed a type of wealth, but it is not the only form of wealth. Money is only a low-level form of wealth. If you put all your energy on pursuing this low-level form of wealth, you will lose the opportunity to win other forms of wealth.

When it comes to wealth, what do you think of? The top ten richest people in the world? Your relative in Australia has a bigger house, a nicer car, and a cottage on the hill? Or the billionaire CEO of your company? Professional athlete, musician or movie star?

Of course, all of these people are "rich" from a financial standpoint.

But money does not monopolize wealth. The definition of wealth is "a substantial amount of valuable material property or resource", but looking at this definition, money is not listed as the only valuable property or resource.

Which resources you consider valuable is as important as the abundance of the resources themselves. The key is to optimize for the right form of wealth.

Money

Money is the simplest and most obvious form of wealth because it can be quantified.

How much is your annual salary? $100,000.

How much is your house? $500,000.

How much will your child's college tuition cost? $50,000.

How much is your portfolio worth? $250,000.

Forbes magazine keeps track of the world's richest people in real time, so everyone can see how much money the super rich have.

Because monetary wealth is so easy to recognize, it becomes a point of comparison. Money is the only form of wealth that makes you look at your neighbour and say "I'm richer/poorer than him".

Money can become a knee-jerk competition. Just like any other competition, we want to beat our peers. Earn more money. Get more property. Indulge in more fun. Do whatever it takes to win the game.

But there is a point that is often overlooked. At a certain point, money can become an attractive scoreboard, but a poor measure of wealth. Money has diminishing returns.

This makes sense if you stop and think about it. When income is low, extra money can make a huge difference in the way you live. Paying rent will be easier. You will have security. You can also afford to take a vacation or two.

However, as your income continues to increase, you can buy a bigger house, better car, better meals and better clothes, but that's it, you can't do anything new. You're just paying more for a more luxurious rendition of your current lifestyle. If you can pay your bills, spend your money on experiences, and save/invest the rest, then you're doing pretty well. Everything else is icing on the cake.

There's actually a nasty paradox associated with having a lot of wealth:

Some luxuries won't make your life better, but losing them after experiencing them will definitely make your life worse.

Some people put money and wealth first, and are desperate to pursue money and wealth. The biggest problem with this approach is the opportunity cost associated with it. How many hours did it take to increase revenue from $250,000 to $500,000? What about $1 million? What about $10 million? How much do you need to earn? What other forms of wealth would you have to sacrifice to achieve that goal?

Is this really the game you want to win?

Knowledge

Knowledge, like money, is a cumulative form of wealth. However, unlike money, the "knowledge" possessed by people is difficult to compare. A polyglot, a chef, a world-class investor are all knowledgeable, but not in the same form.

Different people have different ways of acquiring knowledge. Someone learned Spanish by not being afraid to speak it, no matter how bad it was. Someone became a master chef by trying a lot of disgusting recipes. Someone became a great athlete by being a rookie for a long time, trying to make a big business, playing a thousand games of chess, exchanging stories with others... all these can help you accumulate more knowledge.

You gain knowledge for working to develop your skills and expertise, and you earn money for using those skills and expertise to help others.

But knowledge is not just a tool used to create wealth, it is wealth itself.

Gaining knowledge should not be viewed solely as a means to help you achieve other goals. Knowledge is a worthy goal in itself.

Time

If money is the most obvious form of wealth, time is its opposite. Time is an asset you can't see. Time has no such things as expensive possessions and a good salary to show off. Time is so indifferent that you hardly notice it.

If monetary wealth is best shown through luxuries, the abundance of time is best shown through nothingness.

Money and wealth are shown to the world on scoreboards, but time is measured in an hourglass that no one can see, not even you. As we earn more and more money, monetary wealth increases but time becomes scarcer. When you are the poorest financially, you are the one with the most time, but when we have the time, we rarely notice.

We realize the value of time only when it is almost running out.

In theory, the currency has unlimited upside. The world's richest man, Elon Musk, is now worth more than $200 billion. But one day, someone (maybe Musk!) could be worth $500 billion, or even $1 trillion. There is nothing you can do about this possibility.

Time is just the opposite. Our time is strictly limited, our money generally increases with age, but our time decreases with age. You can't buy more time, and you never know how much time you have left.

If wealth is measured in increments of time, young people are richer than anyone. Of course it would be great to have $100 billion. But if you're young, how many years are you willing to sacrifice for Bezos' fortune?

Or how about we turn the question around? How much do you think Bezos is willing to give to trade places with someone like me who is 25 years old and will never become a billionaire? Maybe all of them. He has pledged to invest billions of dollars in life extension technology.

We tend to be unaware of the presence of oxygen when it’s plentiful, but when it’s scarce we desperately want more, and our sense of time does the same. Once the money is spent, you can earn it again. When your time runs out, it's game over.

Opportunity cost is everything, how much is your hourglass worth?

Health

Health is the cousin of time. Like time, health is seldom thought of when one is healthy. When we are young, we tend to have a lot of health. So we eat and drink, never exercise, it's okay, you're young. We will rejuvenate quickly no matter what.

For example, in college, no matter how hard you mess with your body, you'll probably be fine.

But decisions have compound effects.

In finance, compound interest is a powerful force. Someone who invests an extra $200 a month may not see a difference in the early years, but after 30 years they could be hundreds of thousands of dollars more than someone else.

The clock keeps ticking.

But the power of compound interest is not limited to finance. In fact, its most valuable application is in health.

Inattentiveness to your health when you are young may not notice any effects early on, but as you get older, taking a laissez-faire approach to your well-being can be disastrous. What you eat starts to matter more and more. Whether or not you exercise starts to matter more and more.

As you age, your complexion darkens, your metabolism slows, and underlying health problems become more serious. At this point, the decisions you've made about your health start to snowball.

Like time, we rarely think about it when we have it. But what about when you lose it? Health will become the only thing you can think about. There is a saying that goes, "A healthy person has a thousand wishes, but a sick person has only one wish."

And that patient rarely gets his wish.

When you're broke but healthy, you have countless options. What's the point if you're rich but bedridden? What's the use of having a billion dollars if you have nothing to enjoy?

Relationship

If you lack relationships, all other forms of wealth become irrelevant. What's the use of asking for the money if there's no one to share it with you? Of course, you can go all the way to darkness on the road of single material enjoyment, but this will not bring you a sense of satisfaction.

The value of time and health depends on your ability to spend time with the people you care about. Otherwise, you're wasting your unscheduled schedule and capable body on frivolous distractions.

It's good to have a lot of knowledge, but it's best to share that knowledge with others. The only difference between a master and a hermit is whether there are students or not.

Humans are social animals, and relationships are vital to our psyche. We need people who can laugh and cry together. People were able to share their dreams, stories and fears. You can fall in love and suffer the baptism of falling out of love. Can create new memories. You can drive 1000 kilometers on a road trip together, across the east coast of the United States.

Every little thing we do comes back to relationships.

The greatest value of health is that it gives you choice.

A life rich in all other respects but devoid of relationships can be at best empty and at worst depressing. What's the point of having the world if there's no one to share it with? If it means living in one's castle, do you really want to be king of that castle?

Experience

"The purpose of life is to experience something that you will be nostalgic for later."

I generally agree with this view. Life is about a 90-year period of experience defined by various other smaller experiences. We are fortunate to live in a time when experiences are readily available, more accessible than ever.

You can travel anywhere in the world in 24 hours for less than $1,000. From learning a foreign language to learning exotic recipes, you can learn anything on the internet. For the first time ever, we can literally do anything.

If wealth is for consumption, what better way to spend your wealth of money, wealth of time, wealth of knowledge, wealth of health, wealth of relationships than doing cool things with people you care about?

At the end of the day, our experiences are all we have.

Experiences are our chances to cash in other forms of wealth for something memorable.

Some experiences cost money, but the most valuable experiences are not defined by price tags. I don't remember how much it cost to visit Tromsø, Norway. But what about seeing the Northern Lights? Priceless.

An evening spent with cold beer, loud music, a roaring fire and surrounded by friends is priceless.

Going on road trips across the American West with my best friend was priceless.

Of all the trade-offs a person can make, you will never regret exchanging financial wealth for experiential wealth. But what about missing out on experiences because you're "too busy at work"? It's hardly worth it.

As a resource, money is unlimited, but experiences, like time, are finite.

How often do you have dinner with your grandparents? What about going on a ski trip with your best friend? How many times have you had the chance to visit a new country on a whim? What about learning a new skill you've always been interested in?

Communicating with Argentines in their native language is invaluable.

Money is best used to fund the experiences you want. Go try something fun. The kind that lights a fire in your heart.

Imagine if you spent 40 years maximizing your lower forms of wealth (money) at the expense of minimizing some higher form of wealth (experiences), and waited until your twilight years to recapture the experiences you had missed, it is only in vain.

Our goal should be to have a lot of money and a rich life experience.

When you come to the end of your life, would you rather be able to fondly recall the good times you spent with the people you cared about, or would you be satisfied that you didn't "waste time and money" on these "trivial" pursuits ?

Read Also:

You must have peeled an onion, right?

Listen: Podcast

You must have peeled an onion, right?

 

When you peel the "onion" layer by layer, you will find that it has no core.

This is the opposite of the "avocado" personality, the "onion" personality.

As long as there is a little negative feedback from the outside world, it breaks down inside and feels bad.

There is this person, A.

A has always liked fashion. After graduation, she joined an internationally renowned clothing company and was employed in front-line sales.

When relatives and classmates knew that she had become a salesperson, they despise her because it seems degrading for a graduate student to be a salesperson, putting on shoes and trying on clothes for others!"

Some mean classmates deliberately came to the store to let her serve them, taking the opportunity to put her down.

Although her income was good, she couldn't stand the ridicule of others and chose to resign.

Then she went to a government agency and stayed in an administrative position for ten years.

And the colleagues who were "salesperson" like her at the beginning, one became a company executive and the other became a fashion blogger.

Looking at her boring life day after day, she began to regret it:

"If I didn't give up at the beginning and persisted, I don't know what will happen now?"

One is always the protagonist of his own, and he should not always play a supporting role in other people's dramas.

What others think is good may not be suitable for you; what others despise may not necessarily be wrong.

Others can only judge your life, but they will not pay for your sorrows and joys, let alone be responsible for your life. SO you are the one who can decide for yourself.

Read Also:

The really smart people live only 1% of their lives