Should you lend people money or not?

 

01

At the beginning of this year, my friend Chris and his wife had been quarrelling over this issue of lending money. Chris had agreed to lend money to his relative in order to have a wedding banquet.

Chris is straightforward guy and is honest with others. But in the eyes of his wife, Chris is too nice and she is worried that he is being deceived by others.

1. Chris’ relative borrowed 15k on the grounds of decorating the house end of last year and I heard that his relative have not repaid him the full sum yet.

2. When Chris bought a house, he wanted to borrow money from these relatives at the beginning, but he was rejected straight in the face, and this time his relative wanted to borrow money which Chris agreed to lend.

 

02

In my humble opinion, to borrow or lend money, in addition to the emotional considerations, we should also rationally examine the three borrowing principles:

1. Borrowing money, liken to investing, requires background checks

From Chris’ experience, he cannot bear to reject others, so he has to suffer himself.

To lend someone money, you must first know the ‘credit score ‘of the other party. If you are close enough with the potential borrower, you will definitely know the lifestyle, character and the purpose of borrowing money; you will probably know whether you can lend or not. Remember: the money is yours, not others! There is nothing wrong with not lending! So don't feel bad about not lending. If you need to refuse, you must refuse.

If you refuse to lend him money, you may lose this friendship; but if you lend him money, you may lose the friendship + money.

No matter what, the "friend" who always thinks about borrowing money from you is no longer a real friend, so it's even more understandable not to lend.

2. Agree on terms and abide to them

Borrowing money from anyone will incur interests. If the borrower can initiate the interest rate based on the borrowed sum that will reduce the awkwardness between them next time.

3. The bottom line of borrowing money

No matter what is the reason for borrowing money, it is nothing more than to win the understanding and sympathy of the borrower. If the borrower is ill or has no income for a period of time and other reasonable reasons, can consider his character and lend some money appropriately.

We can abide by the principle of "saving the emergency, not the poor".

What is the secret of maintaining friendship between friends? Don't lend money! Don't try to borrow money, and don't agree to borrow money easily.

Instead of owing favours to borrow money, it is better to learn how to plan and manage money. It is better to get a bank loan if it is possible.

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"Money" is the best gauge to judge a person

Life will be much simpler if we don't think too much

01

The life of an adult is often busy with work, and cant voice out the grievances yet in front of people, we seem strong most of the times.

Although we can no longer cry like a child, we can still talk about our worries with our close ones and relieve the pressure on us.

When facing a "bad life", adults often adopt a self-digestive approach, which some people call "mature". It is precisely because of the pressure of "maturity" that we always carry everything on our own. But only oneself knows how bitter this taste is.

Don't hide everything in your heart, and stress yourself too much. We must always learn to release the pressure bit by bit, and constantly clear the negative emotions. Only by taking off the burden and loading lightly can we move forward courageously.

02

Letting go is easy said than done, it is always too difficult to do.

In fact, there is nothing that people want but cannot let go.

If you can't get it, why bother to pursue it; if you have lost it, why not forget it? Only when you have problems in your heart will you be burdened. When you put too many useless things into your mind, where can you hold good things?

"If you have been walking for a long time and still can't see hope, maybe it Is time to change the direction; for one thing, if you think about it for a long time and still get stuck in your mind, then choose to let it go."

No matter what annoying things you encounter, don't worry, the best attitude is to let go, learn to laugh at it, and treat it indifferently. After all, everyone possesses and loses; one chooses and gives up.

03

The greatest wealth in life is not material possessions, but spiritual abundance. Let go of unrealistic pursuits, there will be fewer and fewer worries and happiness will increase day by day.

Nine out of ten times when life is unsatisfactory, sadness is also part of life. If you want to live a happy life, don't let sorrow entrap you.

People often cannot control their own thoughts. Many of our troubles and entanglements are actually due to the complexity of simple things.. Life can be simpler if we are not stubborn.

Don’t be disturbed by the past, don’t worry about the future, and be mindful of doing things in the present. This is the best life.

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Learn to do "subtraction" at times, so life can in turn be "addition"

Do you feel happy spending money?

Not necessarily.

Some people feel distressed and anxious every time they spend money, because they think that they spend money again. People who do not feel stressed spending money are not as many as what we think.

Spending money is somehow shaping us inherently.

01

Every cent spent is defining our life

One of the popular marketing strategies is to entice us to treat ourselves better.

I chatted with my friend the other day, and she told me something very interesting, that she was sorting out her expenses over the past few years. She found that her expenditure was not as much as she imagined, and the place where she spent the money was very different from what she had expected.

At first, she felt that she had spent a lot of money on books and courses, but eventually found that the money spent on social networking was actually the most, and the money for books and courses only occupied a small part of the total expenditure.

This prompted her to start thinking: what kind of person she is and what encouraged her to make those decisions.

Indeed, the money we spend is inherently shaping us, allowing us to better understand who we are.

A person who loves to eat will study which store has delicious food every month, and the cost of food will be high and a person who loves freedom and scenery will spend more money on travel.

We may think that it is who I think I am, that is why I have a certain consumerism inclination. In fact, consumption is also affecting us in some way.

A person who always buys cheaper products due to discount availability, and a person who pays attention to product quality and beauty, will naturally have a different temperament.

There is no right or wrong but to state that the impact of consumption is indeed subtle.

02

The more you know how to spend money, the more you know who you are

Some people feel that they are always spending money, but is there really such a thing as “Wasting money”?

It can be said that this is more about how well a person understands oneself.

When I clearly know who I am, what kind of things I need, what kind of living environment I need, and what products to use, then the consumption decision is naturally very clear.

It is not because a person has insufficient self-control and spends money indiscriminately, but because he does not know what he wants, so he can only spend money blindly. Therefore, a person who knows how to spend money will naturally choose a product that suits him well, whether it is a simple shower gel, a piece of clothing, or even a house.

Of course, it's not that the more expensive the better, but the best for you at the moment.

Take for example, a piece of clothing. If it feels comfortable to wear and can highlight one's own personality, then it is suitable, regardless of the price. It can cheap or expensive.

At the same time, if the money is spent, and it does not make me more aware of what kind of person I am and what I need, then it is indeed a waste of money.

03

The philosophy of spending money is also the philosophy of making money

Rich people like to say “People who don't know how to spend money won't make money.”

This sentence makes sense for me. When you can't even spend money, naturally you have no motivation to make money, and you don't know how to make better use of money.

And spending money is like making money, the simpler the more powerful.

It has nothing to do with price or income, just about who I am.

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"Money" is the best gauge to judge a person

When you want to know a person, you can roughly tell what kind of person it is by looking at his attitude towards money.

People who have you in their mind will not care about the money spent on you.

People who don't have you in their minds will calculate everything. Not only do they not give you money, they also want to make some money from you. In the eyes of these people, money is more important than relationships!

And a person's attitude towards money reveals his character! Borrow money to see people's hearts, pay back to see character, make money to see humanity!

As the saying goes: See the true love in adversity, and if you want to know if the relationship between someone is good or bad, just borrow money to know.

I once had a colleague who was about to get married. He borrowed money from me when he was short of funds. At that time, my colleague said that he would return the money to me after the happy event.

But in the end the money was returned to me two years later and our relationship went sour.

When I haven’t lent him the money, I felt that this colleague was humble and had a good character, so I lent it to him. And after lending the money, I didn't chase him to return the money, only reminded twice.

I put myself in the shoes of my colleagues whom is still young without much savings and I only lent him my spare cash.

However, one day I heard about this colleague who borrowed money slandering me behind my back.

I was defamed and attacked by lending money to others, so I stopped doing it. I went to him to ask him for the money. He apologized and said that he would pay back the money as soon as possible.

Everyone may have helped others intentionally or unintentionally, or "thinking" that they have helped others, but not all people will appreciate you after helping, and some even become enemies because of their help.

Some people will not reciprocate while they receive assistance from others. We must know how to choose the ones who are nice to us and vice versa.

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Things I learnt from the past 10 years of work

Things I learnt from the past 10 years of work

1. If one goes to other people's homes, and when the hosts suggest to drink tea or watch TV, it is time to say goodbye. People always remind others to do something trivial when they feel that they have nothing to say or do.

2. When one is reporting to their bosses, the boss is not looking at you and tapping his/her fingers on the table mean he/she is not satisfied with the report. But if he/she is initially shaking his/her legs under the table when you enter; while you were talking, his feet suddenly stopped shaking, then he has developed a keen interest in your words.

3. When talking to a new acquaintance, his/her arms are always folded, which shows that he/she is still defensive against you, so it is best to be cautious.

4. At the social gathering, beware of the person who toasts to you frequently. It is either he/she needs your help or he/she is hostile to you.

5. A person who is always boasting is just the opposite of his boastful appearance. He is an extremely inferior person. He only used it to cover up his inner inferiority complex.

6. When clinking glasses with others at a social event, your own glass must be lower than that of the other party, especially if the other party is an elder or leader.

7. If you ask someone a question and they didn’t answer you, stop asking.

8. When someone criticizes you, even if he is wrong, don't refute it first, wait for everyone to calm down before explaining.

9. You will meet all kinds of people in life. You can't be pleasing everyone, but one thing is universal: how you treat others, it will be reciprocal.

10. To survive in this world, one must first learn the word "endure".

11. Don't tell your secrets to everyone.

12. Do not gossip about work with colleagues. Your unintentional remarks may become evidence for others attack you.

13. There are real friends, but don’t know if you are lucky enough to meet them. Regardless of whether you have encountered it or not, don't backstab anyone.

14. When loaning money to others, you must factor in the worst scenario, thinking you won’t get the money back. Therefore, the loaned money must always be within the range that you can bear.

15. Among best friends, unless they are poor and got no means to have their meals, its best not to have monetary contacts. Many valuable friendships fail because of money.

16. It is for you to adapt to society, not society to adapt to you.

17. Don't let others know what you really think, laugh in front of others, hide and cry alone.

18. Simple things are complicated to do, and complicated things are simple to do. Be responsible for your actions, don't blame others, think about whether you should do it before you do it, and learn to solve it yourself when something goes wrong.

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Have you ever swiped your phone until wee hours?

01

Have you also had such an experience: At night, when you finish your day's work and lay on the bed, you pick up your phone and plan to have fun? After surfing for a while, you suddenly realized that it was already 3 o'clock in the morning.

Why are we so addicted, immersed such that we wasted a lot of precious time?

I used to play with mobile phones just to relax myself. If I can control my time well, there is no harm. However, this is not the case. After putting the phone down, you will feel that your brain is empty, and you will be hit by a deep sense of boredom.

A friend once said that there are too many short videos, and now he don’t even have the patience to watch videos of more than three minutes. If things go on like this, we will become more and more impatient, and gradually lose our goals and motivation.

02

What does it mean to your body if you are addicted to playing with your mobile phone and stay up late?

I saw with my own eyes a man who was crushed by staying up all night. Once, he was tall and thin, with outstanding abilities. He was a young middle-level person in the company and an idol for newcomers in the office. But after staying up all night, he fell into his home because of a cerebral hemorrhage. After several months of rescue and treatment, he slowly stood up. But everything needs to be learned from the beginning, re-learning to recognize numbers, re-learning to use mobile phones, and re-learning to walk alone. Although in the end he recovered physically, but he could no longer do his original job.

You are obviously sleepy, but you just don't want to close your eyes and rest. What does staying up all night mean? Sometimes, it will completely crush your body.

When you are young, you may feel that you are in good health and staying up late won’t do you much harm. When you get older, you will find that a good body is your greatest asset.

03

Playing with mobile phones late at night brings us only a short-term pleasure. Apart from consuming our energy, there is not much benefit.

Do something that makes yourself thankful for the future makes more sense. For example, if you want to learn a new skill, then learn it through various channels; if you want to become more knowledgeable, read a valuable book.

Even in 15mins before going to bed, we can enrich ourselves with meaningful things.

A good body and a good spirit are great assets; not staying up late and persisting in doing meaningful things are the best self-discipline.

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Work to live or live to work?

Work to live or live to work?

 

More and more people in the workplace have realized: "Work is to have better life, and life is not only for work." This mindset pays more attention to the quality of life, and enjoying such a life especially with family members.

 

It is indeed our job to make money, but if we spend every five days at work from 8 in the morning to 6 in the evening, we can’t even have proper meals. It only means that we chose the wrong job."

 

The pressure of work is often very heavy in our modern lives. It is understandable that a person in the workplace always puts his work first. However, don't take your work home. Think about how a person who is still working can integrate into the atmosphere of home, how can the family members who live with you feel your care and love, and how can the family produce the warmth it needs? If things go on like this, home will not be home. And because of the imbalance between work and family, it is difficult to ensure that you can devote yourself to your career, which will also affect your work. Marriage and family are the most direct support systems for individuals, and they are undoubtedly very important for the release and relief of personal stress. The support and recognition of family and family members is an important way for everyone to gain self-esteem, as well as a source of confidence and strength.

 

You should hurry home after getting off work to have dinner with your family and enjoy the family happiness. Some people always think that family and career cannot be balanced. In fact, there is no contradiction between the two. How to take both into account and treat them in a balanced way is an issue that we should be concerned about. In terms of importance, family and career should be equal. Blindly pursuing a career can easily lead to a disconnection with the latter; on the contrary, a certain degree of disconnection with the latter will also bring a certain counter-effect to the former. You can’t just look at your family from the perspective of your career, and you can’t always look at your career from the perspective of your family. While building a family with a perfect atmosphere, we should complement each other's career with this atmosphere, and let the family become the backing of the career. Relief yourself appropriately and take free time to enjoy the warmth brought by the family, so that while enjoying the ambience, the pressure brought by all aspects of the career will also be reduced.

 

Facts have proved that people can have a successful career and a beautiful family at the same time. Only if you are passionate about life and work, this is then a beautiful life. In fact, whether men or women, the key to having a good life lies in our attitude and satisfaction with material life, career and feelings, as well as our own skills and maturity in role-playing.

 

Everyone has different goals at every stage, and the order of career and family is also different. Taken together, the family is the backing of the career, and the career is the assurance of the family; once you try to get out of the labyrinth, understanding the essentials of various roles, striving to be a "good actor" and working smoothly between the workplace and the family are naturally the only way to succeed.

 

As long as time permits, we must try our best to make family life meaningful, and some details should not be missed. No matter how busy you are, no matter how late you go home, you should go to your child's bedside and hug your child every morning. There will be understanding and love between you and your family, and happiness will come for a long time.

 

In short, work conscientiously, live happily, and use your own efforts to make career and life fly together.

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