Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Every bad relationship carries a part of your responsibility because we inadvertently teach others how to treat us." Excessive humility and accommodation can lead to further bullying, while excessive dedication only brings about others' contempt. The way others treat you is influenced by what you permit. Hence, always remember; never help others bully you.

Without your consent, no one can hurt you.

In the world of adults, there exists a cruel rule of interaction: the more conscious you are about pleasing others, the more likely you are to be looked down upon.

Accepting boundless giving doesn't create harmonious relationships; it leads to increasing feelings of oppression. I have a friend who's seen as a do-gooder by colleagues and friends. During work hours, he helps colleagues with deliveries or buys them drinks. On weekends, whenever friends need to work overtime, he never hesitates to help. Regardless of whether the help needed is within his capability, he never refuses. However, even though he's incredibly busy, he doesn't receive the respect and gratitude he deserves. His friends' demands keep increasing, and when he can't fulfil them, they mock and belittle him.

If we consistently don't refuse, perhaps we don't hurt others, but we hurt ourselves. No one in this world can hurt you unless you first agree to their hurt. If you base your worth on the recognition of others, they will use this recognition to exploit you. If you always maintain a good temper, others will insult you repeatedly. People who genuinely like you appreciate your independence and assertiveness, not your subservience or eagerness to please others. To let your life shine, you must retain your own sharpness.

How You Treat Yourself is How Others Will Treat You

Not long ago, a friend complained to me that after several years of marriage, she transformed from a young and beautiful girl into a "desperate housewife." To care for her child, she had to quit her beloved job and save every penny for household expenses. However, her husband seemed oblivious to her efforts and, during an argument, resorted to calling her a "haggard old woman" and a "useless housewife."

Looking dejected, my friend asked me why such words were said. I glanced at her dishevelled hair, pale face, and worn-out T-shirt, shaking my head in response: "If you don't love yourself, no one is obliged to love you." The way people treat you is what you allow.

Blindly giving will only increase the chance of being unappreciated. As an adult, she selflessly cared for the family to enable her husband's career, but she never had a life or social connections of her own. Her long and diligent sacrifices never led to the love she anticipated.

"If you can't love yourself, it's difficult to love others." When one's self-worth is based on serving others, they inevitably face disdain and apathy. Only when you focus on yourself will the world start to love you.

Never Help Others Bully Yourself

"Don't fear offending someone due to a certain character; remember, no one can avoid annoying others. 90% of people, you can completely annoy them."

Too many relationships aren't worth your compromise. Only when you show your edge and boundaries can you put on strong armour for yourself.

Paz leads a life everyone admires. She handles work gracefully, her boyfriend is caring, and she has a close friend by her side. However, this seemingly perfect life behind the scenes is bitter and repressive.

Despite her diligence at work, her boss overlooks her efforts and promotes new employees. Her boyfriend boasts daily, always thinking about doing "great things" and relying on her for support. While she comforted her friend several times in distress, when she needed support, her friend remained indifferent to her feelings.

She always endured, taking care of others' emotions, yet in the end, nobody cared about her feelings.

Fed up with this meagre life, Paz decided she couldn't take it anymore. She angrily accused her boss of bias, scolded her boyfriend for being an "escapist parasite," and even snatched her friend's phone and threw it in the trash.

Although she resigned, broke up, and ended a friendship in a short time, she felt immensely relieved and comforted.

In the past, she was as gentle as a lamb, but when she showed her sharp claws, her world became clearer, and for the first time in over a decade, she slept soundly.

Saying "no" to things you don't like is self-care. Refuse unreasonable requests, maintain distance, and you won't deplete unnecessary social relationships.

Life is too short; you don't need to live in patterns set by others. Take responsibility for your feelings, shape the life you want. Every day is a new beginning when you no longer cater to others' needs.

There's a saying: "Adults' social relationships are tailor-made." Everything we experience is of our own making. The easier you are to deal with, the less people take you seriously; the more you stand your ground, the friendlier those around you become.

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Be Kind to Yourself, Don't Get Angry

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Be Kind to Yourself, Don't Get Angry

Of all the emotions, anger is the most detestable and violent. Indeed, anger not only fails to solve problems but also triggers a series of issues in life, work, and relationships. Moreover, it can harm our bodies, leading individuals to unknowingly fall into frustration, congestion, and even result in the formation of nodules and other diseases. Thus, adjusting our emotions is crucial in dealing with ourselves and life.

When you feel anger, try silently reciting the following three sentences. Keeping calm leads to a naturally balanced state of mind.

Anger is punishing yourself for others' mistakes. Why do people feel angry?

Perhaps because they feel that others' rudeness offends them or others' selfishness infringes upon their interests. Anger arises as a means to vent internal dissatisfaction.

However, anger does not resolve issues but instead creates a series of troubles in life and work. Worse, it can damage your health.

"Anger is punishing yourself for others' mistakes."

There was a reported incident: A man passing through a toll booth suddenly began knocking on his car window seeking help, claiming his wife suddenly experienced limb paralysis and difficulty breathing.

Upon questioning by the staff, it was revealed that the woman in the car had argued with her husband over trivial household matters. She felt her husband was not understanding enough, which made her more and more angry. Quickly, she began experiencing numbness in her arms and legs and even felt oxygen-deprived in her head.

Fortunately, due to timely medical assistance, the woman's symptoms quickly subsided. However, not everyone might be as lucky.

In a state of extreme anger, individuals might likely develop respiratory alkalosis. Those affected might exhibit symptoms such as numbness in the lips and limbs, chest tightness, palpitations, and high blood pressure in milder cases. Severe cases might lead to fainting, disorientation, and could even result in coronary ischemia.

Clearly, anger can sometimes pose a threat to life. However, it's not the person who angered you but yourself who ends up bearing this. Therefore, no matter the situation, it's important to advise oneself not to get angry. After all, in this world, nothing is worth trading your physical health for.

When facing unpleasantness, ask yourself first: Can I resolve this? If you can, try your best to do so. If not, then let it go.

Anger Begins with Foolishness and Ends with Regret

Some people, due to anger, affect their own health; others ruin their own prospects because of anger. However, almost all anger begins with foolishness and ends with regret.

The character for "anger" in Chinese, "怒" (nù), has the radical for "slave" on top and "heart" at the bottom. Once immersed in the trap of anger, you become a slave to your own mindset, led by the nose with the word "anger."

In that moment, due to a temporary loss of control over anger, you may commit irreversible mistakes. Therefore, if you wish to avoid regret and unnecessary trouble, you must learn to control your emotions.

As the saying goes, "Calmness brings wisdom." Only when you calm down can you find the energy and time to discover the best solutions to problems.

Being Enterprising Is Better Than Being Angry, Changing Is Better Than Complaining

Everyone experiences the seven emotions and six desires; it's a common human experience. Happiness can turn into sadness, and tranquility can become anger. However, anger is the most powerless weapon for the incompetent.

Truly wise people understand that being enterprising is better than being angry, reading is better than arguing, and changing is better than complaining. There's a story of a young artist who received a commission from a merchant. The merchant agreed to pay the artist $10,000 for the artwork, allowing the artist creative freedom. However, when the young artist finished the painting, the merchant, seeing the artist's limited fame, only wanted to settle for $3,000. Though the artist felt unhappy, he said only two words: "Not selling."

Subsequently, the young artist became more diligent, continuously honing skills and expanding knowledge. Many years later, he became a renowned artist and held an exhibition. The paintings displayed at the exhibition left the merchant sweating; a painting that once cost only a fraction now held a value of over $100,000.

There's a saying: "When you are weak, bad people are numerous." This is because, during such times, they might bully you without consequences. However, once you become strong, the world will perceive you differently.

Therefore, when facing unpleasant situations, don't just release your anger; instead, contemplate how to transform this energy. When you invest time and effort into self-improvement, not only will you discover the endless possibilities of life, but you'll also leave behind those who once made you angry.

Ultimately, true growth comes from managing one's emotions. When you learn to let emotions flow, live peacefully, and release extreme emotions, you'll find inner peace, and life will flow more smoothly.

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Beyond Resolutions: Embrace the Unseen Paths of 2024

Time flies, and years pass silently. In the blink of an eye, the first half of 2024 has already passed. The first half hurriedly slipped away before truly experiencing life.

In the second half, I hope we can face life with a composed attitude, joy, and happiness, living each day contentedly. Express happiness: cherishing joy, slowly experiencing the daily calm.

One particular topic has captured my attention: Half of 2024 has passed; how did your first half of the year go?

Many people responded: "Too difficult."

Some said: Time passed too quickly, everything seems hazy, feeling perplexed and confused, almost as if nothing was experienced, and half a year has disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Some mentioned: This half-year was too difficult. They started job hunting at the beginning of the year, and by mid-year, they hadn't found any job opportunities. Each day was a struggle between striving and struggling, with nothing achieved in the end.

Others expressed: The first half went by unnoticed; an elderly family member became ill, their child was at a crucial stage of education, shuttling daily between hospital, work, and home, too occupied to even taste a peaceful meal. Life felt truly arduous.

The response that received the most likes was as follows:

"In truth, there's not much to say. Life seems simple on the surface, but it carries too much helplessness. Life appears effortless, yet it's challenging to escape its grip."

Indeed, life is often very challenging. Once you surmount one mountain, you find another; overcome one obstacle, and more challenges await. All we can do is face these challenges and overcome difficulties.

We can pause, take a break, relax a bit, but we must stand up and keep moving forward. I love this phrase:

"If you ever find life hard and start doubting your choices, don't believe your difficulty is unique. Most times, we find life challenging, but persisting will make things better. Believe that on your path forward, beautiful things await you. After enduring the difficulties, there will be a blooming flower bed."

Yes, beyond the mountain lies a beautiful view, and overcoming challenges leads to more wonderful things. So, don't always be trapped in the busy life; look up, life is full of surprises.

The sky is clear, clouds are beautiful, sunsets are vibrant, and flowers are in bloom. Even the grass on the roadside is dancing with vibrant greenery. If you feel your life is a mess, use the beginning of the second half of the year to create a detailed plan and put it into practice. If life is hard, give yourself a cool break in the scorching summer, readjust, and then dive back into busy life.

In the days ahead, let past challenges remain there, facing the future with a fresh stance.

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The Second Half of 2024: May You Slowly Embrace Everyday with Joy

In the noisy world, be a happy person, facing life's challenges with an optimistic and positive attitude.

Regarding Emotions: Embrace with an Open Heart even with Departures

I read a message from a friend:

"These past six months have felt like hell to me. At the beginning of the year, I had planned to marry my boyfriend of three years. The wedding date was set, the photos taken, and everything was prepared. We were supposed to register on Valentine's Day, February 14th. But just a day before the registration, I discovered he was having an affair. I had always believed that we were destined to be together. We shared the same values, laughed at the same jokes, and never ran out of things to talk about. We envisioned a married life of caring for each other, enjoying beautiful moments together. He cooked, I cleaned, and we shopped together. We dreamed of having a lovely daughter and a beautiful house. But now, everything is gone. Three years of love disappeared, and our hopes for the future shattered. When we were together, I loved eating watermelon, and he always saved the sweetest part for me. But now, even passing by a fruit shop makes my eyes well up. I feel like I may never eat watermelon again in my life. I regret meeting him, and I hate myself for not being able to forget him for the past six months. This story might be common, but it brings tears to my eyes. Life seems to be like this, filled with ups and downs, especially in the journey of love. In our lives, it often seems like someone arrives, deeply engages our emotions, but we cannot write a happy ending. After losing this love, we're immersed in sadness, unable to move on. However, the situations without endings were predetermined.

We often recall the beautiful moments of love and overlook the unsatisfactory details. When facing the loss of love, we magnify the unsatisfactory aspects and forget the cherished moments. But the most frightening aspect of life is this: regretting the past while wasting the present. We need to understand that life doesn't move backward. Having loved is having loved; there's no need for constant regret. Missing out is just that, there's no need for self-blame. What's done is done; regrets are futile. It's better to learn to let go, leave the past behind, and face the present firmly. Let time slowly heal the painful and teary memories."

The Second Half of 2024: May You Face Life with an Open Heart and Lightness in Departures

Remind yourself: What's lost is just a part of the scenery; what remains is life itself.

To yourself: Face life with a composed heart and smile at it.

A friend recently shared her growing unhappiness with me. She said:

"Every night, others' words, past experiences, and painful memories surge in my mind like violent waves. These shatter my mental peace, destroying the joy I once had. I wish to escape but am unable. I am repeatedly hit by these waves, making my heart more despondent and lacking in confidence. Have you ever felt this way?"

During a certain period, we often feel tormented in life. We care too much about others' words, constantly conforming to their views, eventually losing our sense of self; often, we're trapped in memories of the past, desiring to return to those moments only to find we cannot; we frequently regret our choices, thinking that if we had made different decisions, things might be better now.

Unfortunately, history cannot be pursued, yesterday is gone, and life won't offer a chance for a do-over.

I once read this quote:

"Many of life's troubles root from excessively vivid memories. We remember the hurt but forget the past happiness."

If life were a journey, from start to end, the burdens you carry should gradually lighten. Because as you move forward, you'll realize what can be discarded and what's worth preserving. What remains will be the most important.

However, many people experience the opposite; the farther they go, the heavier their burden gets, yearning to acquire without letting go.

In fact, let the past stay in the past; even if you long for it, you can't return to the beginning. Why not let it be a part of your memories and move forward? Perhaps, in the next moment, you'll unexpectedly encounter happiness.

In the second half of 2024, may you face life with a composed heart and a smile.

Live well, love yourself, be confident and bold, live with strength.

I came across this passage:

In this hurried and anxious journey of life, you can try to walk calmly. Don't focus too much on the result; it'll make you feel relaxed. Perhaps, the end of the road isn't important. As long as you pursue and love something in life, maintain clarity, discipline, and wisdom, that's enough.

In the second half of 2024, I hope you:

Face life with a joyful attitude and slowly experience the beauty of the everyday; Handle departures in relationships with an open heart; Treat yourself with composure and smile at life.

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Your Sleep Schedule Determines Your Fate

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