Friday, May 31, 2024

Beyond Resolutions: Embrace the Unseen Paths of 2024

Time flies, and years pass silently. In the blink of an eye, the first half of 2024 has already passed. The first half hurriedly slipped away before truly experiencing life.

In the second half, I hope we can face life with a composed attitude, joy, and happiness, living each day contentedly. Express happiness: cherishing joy, slowly experiencing the daily calm.

One particular topic has captured my attention: Half of 2024 has passed; how did your first half of the year go?

Many people responded: "Too difficult."

Some said: Time passed too quickly, everything seems hazy, feeling perplexed and confused, almost as if nothing was experienced, and half a year has disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Some mentioned: This half-year was too difficult. They started job hunting at the beginning of the year, and by mid-year, they hadn't found any job opportunities. Each day was a struggle between striving and struggling, with nothing achieved in the end.

Others expressed: The first half went by unnoticed; an elderly family member became ill, their child was at a crucial stage of education, shuttling daily between hospital, work, and home, too occupied to even taste a peaceful meal. Life felt truly arduous.

The response that received the most likes was as follows:

"In truth, there's not much to say. Life seems simple on the surface, but it carries too much helplessness. Life appears effortless, yet it's challenging to escape its grip."

Indeed, life is often very challenging. Once you surmount one mountain, you find another; overcome one obstacle, and more challenges await. All we can do is face these challenges and overcome difficulties.

We can pause, take a break, relax a bit, but we must stand up and keep moving forward. I love this phrase:

"If you ever find life hard and start doubting your choices, don't believe your difficulty is unique. Most times, we find life challenging, but persisting will make things better. Believe that on your path forward, beautiful things await you. After enduring the difficulties, there will be a blooming flower bed."

Yes, beyond the mountain lies a beautiful view, and overcoming challenges leads to more wonderful things. So, don't always be trapped in the busy life; look up, life is full of surprises.

The sky is clear, clouds are beautiful, sunsets are vibrant, and flowers are in bloom. Even the grass on the roadside is dancing with vibrant greenery. If you feel your life is a mess, use the beginning of the second half of the year to create a detailed plan and put it into practice. If life is hard, give yourself a cool break in the scorching summer, readjust, and then dive back into busy life.

In the days ahead, let past challenges remain there, facing the future with a fresh stance.

Travel

The Second Half of 2024: May You Slowly Embrace Everyday with Joy

In the noisy world, be a happy person, facing life's challenges with an optimistic and positive attitude.

Regarding Emotions: Embrace with an Open Heart even with Departures

I read a message from a friend:

"These past six months have felt like hell to me. At the beginning of the year, I had planned to marry my boyfriend of three years. The wedding date was set, the photos taken, and everything was prepared. We were supposed to register on Valentine's Day, February 14th. But just a day before the registration, I discovered he was having an affair. I had always believed that we were destined to be together. We shared the same values, laughed at the same jokes, and never ran out of things to talk about. We envisioned a married life of caring for each other, enjoying beautiful moments together. He cooked, I cleaned, and we shopped together. We dreamed of having a lovely daughter and a beautiful house. But now, everything is gone. Three years of love disappeared, and our hopes for the future shattered. When we were together, I loved eating watermelon, and he always saved the sweetest part for me. But now, even passing by a fruit shop makes my eyes well up. I feel like I may never eat watermelon again in my life. I regret meeting him, and I hate myself for not being able to forget him for the past six months. This story might be common, but it brings tears to my eyes. Life seems to be like this, filled with ups and downs, especially in the journey of love. In our lives, it often seems like someone arrives, deeply engages our emotions, but we cannot write a happy ending. After losing this love, we're immersed in sadness, unable to move on. However, the situations without endings were predetermined.

We often recall the beautiful moments of love and overlook the unsatisfactory details. When facing the loss of love, we magnify the unsatisfactory aspects and forget the cherished moments. But the most frightening aspect of life is this: regretting the past while wasting the present. We need to understand that life doesn't move backward. Having loved is having loved; there's no need for constant regret. Missing out is just that, there's no need for self-blame. What's done is done; regrets are futile. It's better to learn to let go, leave the past behind, and face the present firmly. Let time slowly heal the painful and teary memories."

The Second Half of 2024: May You Face Life with an Open Heart and Lightness in Departures

Remind yourself: What's lost is just a part of the scenery; what remains is life itself.

To yourself: Face life with a composed heart and smile at it.

A friend recently shared her growing unhappiness with me. She said:

"Every night, others' words, past experiences, and painful memories surge in my mind like violent waves. These shatter my mental peace, destroying the joy I once had. I wish to escape but am unable. I am repeatedly hit by these waves, making my heart more despondent and lacking in confidence. Have you ever felt this way?"

During a certain period, we often feel tormented in life. We care too much about others' words, constantly conforming to their views, eventually losing our sense of self; often, we're trapped in memories of the past, desiring to return to those moments only to find we cannot; we frequently regret our choices, thinking that if we had made different decisions, things might be better now.

Unfortunately, history cannot be pursued, yesterday is gone, and life won't offer a chance for a do-over.

I once read this quote:

"Many of life's troubles root from excessively vivid memories. We remember the hurt but forget the past happiness."

If life were a journey, from start to end, the burdens you carry should gradually lighten. Because as you move forward, you'll realize what can be discarded and what's worth preserving. What remains will be the most important.

However, many people experience the opposite; the farther they go, the heavier their burden gets, yearning to acquire without letting go.

In fact, let the past stay in the past; even if you long for it, you can't return to the beginning. Why not let it be a part of your memories and move forward? Perhaps, in the next moment, you'll unexpectedly encounter happiness.

In the second half of 2024, may you face life with a composed heart and a smile.

Live well, love yourself, be confident and bold, live with strength.

I came across this passage:

In this hurried and anxious journey of life, you can try to walk calmly. Don't focus too much on the result; it'll make you feel relaxed. Perhaps, the end of the road isn't important. As long as you pursue and love something in life, maintain clarity, discipline, and wisdom, that's enough.

In the second half of 2024, I hope you:

Face life with a joyful attitude and slowly experience the beauty of the everyday; Handle departures in relationships with an open heart; Treat yourself with composure and smile at life.

Read Also:

Your Sleep Schedule Determines Your Fate

Listen: Podcast

Friday, May 24, 2024

Your Sleep Schedule Determines Your Fate

"Are you sleeping well every night?"

Failing to fall asleep at night, struggling to get out of bed in the morning, feeling lethargic during the day...

However, sleep is vital to one's life. The time you go to sleep determines your fate.

People who don't sleep well have already lost from the beginning.

It's Not Just Night, It's Your Life

Staying up late isn’t just about enduring the night; it's about torturing your own life. Do you remember when you started staying up late? Initially, it might have been occasional overtime, binge-watching shows, or chatting with friends. Waking up the next day, unexpectedly feeling more energized, made you continue this stimulating nightlife.

"What's wrong with staying up late?" "I'm young and can handle it." "Everyone else is doing it; why shouldn't I?" These excuses justify your nightly habits. After three months, your sleep becomes irregular, making it hard to fall asleep. After six months, your skin deteriorates, dark circles appear, and your overall health declines. A year later, your immunity weakens, leading to obesity, hair loss, and a loss of physical strength. Until one day, your body suddenly loses control, heartbeat accelerates, weakness in the limbs, difficulty breathing...

It's at this point you realize that staying up late comes at the cost of your life. Poor sleep can lead to diseases. Your nightly sleep duration directly affects your lifespan. Several years ago, the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and the American Cancer Society conducted a study linking sleep duration and mortality rates. They found that adults sleeping 6.5 to 7.4 hours per night had the lowest mortality rates. Those sleeping less than 4.5 hours or more than 9.4 hours had significantly higher mortality rates.

Sleep reduction might not necessarily mean having more time; instead, it could shorten your lifespan. Staying up late negatively impacts your body. Never underestimate the harm of staying up late; otherwise, your life will be as hidden as those dark nights.

A Disciplined Life Starts with Sleeping Early

The experience of resolving to sleep early yet consistently failing to get to bed makes you reflect. Each time you drag yourself to bed, pick up your phone, and find yourself late-night scrolling, wasting time, leading to regret. Perhaps you intend to play for a few minutes before sleeping, but that brief period never resists the temptation of your phone.

You aim to wake up early, take care of your body, but as years pass, you find yourself sleeping later, feeling exhausted every day, almost never maintaining healthy eating. Day after day, year after year, plans shatter, and anxiety grows, yet there's no consideration of why early sleep isn't achieved.

There's an online list about "sleep corresponding to personality":

Sleeping before 9 PM: Relaxed

9-10 PM: Health Enthusiast

10-11 PM: Disciplined

11 PM to 1 AM: Social Butterfly

 After 1 AM: Night Owl

Sleep patterns reflect personality, and personality determines fate.

The main problem for those who can't seem to sleep early is a lack of discipline. Plato once said, "Self-control is a form of order, control over happiness and desire." If you can't control your daily routine, you can't master your life. Early sleep might seem insignificant, but it changes your perspectives and behavioral norms.

People who can sleep early understand the value of present joy. They grasp the beauty of a simple life. They appreciate the preciousness of time. The famous British novelist Anthony Trollope said, "The small act of sleeping early holds significant power. Consistently doing small, insignificant daily tasks surpasses difficult ones."

An hour before sleeping, put your phone away, read a few pages of a book, and as drowsiness approaches, drift off. Wake up at a set time in the morning, not allowing snoozing to be an excuse. After maintaining a regular routine, you'll find life becomes more comfortable. A disciplined life begins with sleeping early; this is the beginning of a successful life.

Truly Skilled People Control Their Sleep

Some believe, "Sleep is a practice. More important than emotional intelligence is our 'sleep intelligence.'" Sleep intelligence, as per the definition by an American psychologist:

Sleep intelligence measures how effectively your body and mind recover in a given period of sleep. Those who can calmly sleep at any time without being disturbed internally possess high sleep intelligence. These individuals find it easier to gather strength when facing challenges and think more clearly when solving problems. Life is like a battle; no one can achieve everything at once. Hence, maintaining your energy while striving is vital. As Junichi Watanabe once said, "Having good sleep is a genuine talent. Lacking this ability can affect both your health and your work focus."

A genuinely powerful individual actively manages their rest rhythm. Therefore, always remember these three sleep tips: Going to bed on time is the most important thing for everyone.

1. Create a Suitable Sleep Environment

Amidst a busy work schedule, how can you allocate time for rest? "The bedroom shouldn’t have a TV or any other electronic devices. Bring a book each night and read for an hour before going to sleep." Giving up using the phone before sleep, utilizing the bed only for sleep. Creating the best environment for sleep is the key step to successful sleep.

2. Develop a Consistent Routine

Only through a regular schedule can you achieve healthy sleep.

3. Provide Yourself with Some Mental Suggestions

Sometimes, insomnia might result from tasks left unfinished during the day. The stress of life, work problems, emotional issues... these concerns keep people awake. As the saying goes: "Forgive everything before sleeping; do not dwell on the past upon awakening." Learning to "forgive" in the mind relieves distress, making it easier to fall asleep. In life, don't neglect rest due to busyness, or stay awake all night due to anxiety. Proper sleep is the cure for all troubles.

Sleeping well means you've won. "How to get through the lows of life?" A good night's sleep truly is the best remedy. No matter how troubled you are, a good night's sleep will dissipate all difficulties. Even in extreme exhaustion, a good night's sleep brings peace to body and mind. No matter how chaotic life is, a good night's sleep makes your mind tranquil. Sleep soundly, welcome a new day. Give yourself the chance to relax, sleep well, and worries will disappear. A good night's sleep brings mental delight, and good fortune naturally follows. Like this post, wish you goodnight. May you have pleasant dreams and peaceful sleep every night. From tonight, become a happy person by sleeping well.

Read Also:

Slow Down, Everything Has Its Arrangement

Listen: Podcast

Friday, May 17, 2024

Slow Down, Everything Has Its Arrangement

Lately, there's been a topic that's gained much attention: What principle do you regret not understanding earlier? One person’s response was: Impatient people won't go far. This statement is very insightful. As the saying goes, "Haste makes waste." To live a good life, while hard work is important, sustained patience is even more vital. The more one strives for greater accomplishments, the more one needs to learn to take it slowly. Many times, slow action turns out to be the most effective.

A life lived in too much haste will become a disaster. There's a real story about a young teacher who had extremely strict demands of herself and had made many plans for her life. She said, "I set a goal to be promoted to associate professor within two years, so every day I've been tirelessly writing papers and working on research. I also planned to move to a larger house, providing a better life for my children. I felt I must seize my young years, working hard; otherwise, I would fall behind, and my child would be affected." Later, due to unbearable back pain, she went to the hospital for a check-up. The doctor diagnosed her with advanced breast cancer. That moment was an eye-opener for her. Seeing her one-and-a-half-year-old child, her beloved husband, and her parents aged overnight because of her illness, she was full of regret and reluctance. In her final moments, she said, "If I could start again, I'd choose to spend quality time with my child, buy my parents shoes with the money meant for a car, and not push so hard for a bigger house. To be with those I love, even in simplicity, is warm." However, life happens only once; there’s no rewinding, only cherishing the present can avoid a lifetime of regret. But sometimes, we're too eager for success, too eager for dazzling achievements, too eager to be seen as an outstanding individual in the eyes of others, which often leads to constant challenges and makes life a disaster. I deeply resonate with this: Even after giving your all, you're still just an ordinary person, so accept your ordinary self and enjoy the happiness of an ordinary person. Step by step, move forward, slow down when weary, and make adjustments promptly when making mistakes—this is the way to go further.

Slow Down, Everything Has Its Arrangement

The busier life gets, the more we should slow down.

I had a friend who has been living in a whirlwind in recent years. She runs a beauty salon, a thriving business that generates substantial income. On the family front, she takes care of her children, looks after her parents, and manages household chores seamlessly, being regarded as an "excellent wife" by many. I asked her how she managed to do this so effectively, and her response genuinely surprised me. She said, "Who said one can't balance career and family? You just didn't see the moments when I struggled in anxiety. My child will take the high school entrance exam in two years, what if he doesn't make it into a prestigious high school? In these years, the fluctuating business due to the pandemic has me contemplating whether to start another side business to be more secure. This anxiety often keeps me awake all night. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed; it's too painful!" She shook her head, saying, "Look, I'm losing my hair."

One time, she read a listener's message about being cheated by a friend for $400,000 in pursuit of profit. This made her realize that life should not be too rushed, that everything should take its course.

Since then, she consciously slowed down: no longer anxious about starting a side business, focused solely on running the beauty salon. She no longer does all the housework herself. Sometimes she does a bit more, other times she's less meticulous when pressed for time, and non-urgent tasks are put on hold. Her approach to her child's future shifted from excessive anxiety to respecting and trusting him, which improved their parent-child relationship. It is said that good results come from slow progress, and peace in the heart brings tranquillity. Rushing will hurt your feet, forcing will tire your heart. Slowing down, savouring life thoroughly, and moving through life slowly.

In life, we must pause, re-evaluate our goals, appreciate the beauty on both sides; and in daily life, learn to adjust, stay calm in busyness, not waste time in leisure, steadily moving forward at our own pace.

Slow Down, Everything Will Be Arranged

I once read a story: "During our wedding, my husband and I gave it our all to buy a house. No grand wedding, no flashy ring, just a brief honeymoon. Back then, we were short on money, but we were still happy because we believed that good days would surely come. Slowly, we built our careers, worked together, and put in joint effort. Our dreams came true one by one. Now, I am content and happy. Just do what you can, work hard, take it slowly, and everything will fall into place."

Yes, the more we're in a predicament, the more we need patience. Preserve what belongs to you and don't be hasty. Remember, the more winding the path, the more astonishing the views; a bitter script is certain to have an unexpected good ending. Believe that now is the future, and everything is arranged.

Here's a story from an internet user: A boy fell seriously ill at the age of 13, almost losing his life. In the most critical moment, the doctor declared him critical twice, and he spent a month in the ICU before being out of danger. When discharged, the boy was wheelchair-bound due to limb weakness, and the doctor said to his parents, "This child might remain like this for life." The parents were heartbroken but didn't trust those words. They massaged him every day, starting with basic movements and never gave up. The boy saw the children in the village going to school lively, feeling he was only a burden to his family, considering suicide. But deep down, he had a voice telling him not to give up, to take it slow, that his future wasn't like this.

Eleven years passed, and the boy from the past became a medical graduate from a medical university. Life works this way: going slower offers hope and surprises. In life, everything has its time. If you feel like you're in a low point in life, please don't be anxious, put in effort steadily, and wait slowly.

I wholeheartedly agree with this saying: "Life's achievements come from persistent effort and appropriate waiting." Keep calm, don't rush, move forward steadily, keep your enthusiasm, and life will arrange itself. Don't be hasty to get good things, nor to overcome difficulties. Uphills require a slow walk, and downhill needs stability. Remember, health is the most precious wealth, not to be carelessly spent. What's achieved through health will always remain fruitful. Believe that life has its moments of blooming, life has its perfect rhythm; even though life is full of ups and downs, it will surely bring beautiful results in due time. Let's take it easy, not evade, take it slow, and as we become better, happiness will come as expected.

Read Also:

What is a Mother?

Listen: Podcast

Friday, May 10, 2024

What is a Mother?

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Do you know what a mother is? Some describe her as: She’s the voice that nags when you're cold and need to put on more clothes; She’s the embrace that consoles you when you come home; She’s the one who fills the table with steaming, lavish meals; She’s the one packing your things before you go out; She’s the lifelong refuge that brings peace to your heart.

As time passes, mothers give us quiet companionship and the warmest memories. They dedicate their entire lives, yet seldom seek anything in return.

A mother is someone who hides love in every response.

There's a saying that goes, "The happiest thing in the world is shouting 'mom' and getting a response." This understanding is profound. From childhood to adulthood, each time you come home, as soon as you enter, you call out "mom." Upon hearing her response, you rush into the kitchen to see what deliciousness she’s preparing. If you don’t hear her reply, you search around for her figure. If you can't find her, you ask, "Dad, where’s Mom?" But in most cases, you’ll hear that "Ah" which gives us a response.

The word "mom" seem to hold a magical power. When having a nightmare, calling out "mom" makes you quickly wake up and sleep again after turning over. In times of sorrow, calling out "mom" feels like all the pain finds solace. When facing difficulties, calling out "mom" feels like all problems will be solved. When returning home for a holiday, calling out "mom" makes that heart that’s been wandering suddenly settle down.

Where there's a home, there's warmth; where there's a mother, there's peace.

I saw a video where four generations, from children to elderly, appeared successively in the name "mom." They all wore smiles, but surprisingly, it was deeply moving.

Someone previously mentioned: In the past, I always felt my mother nagged a lot, overseeing everything, needing her permission to eat, do certain things, or wear certain clothes, and more. Later, my mother passed away due to illness. The home no longer had her nagging voice, and there were no more texts from her reminding me to wear warmer clothes when it’s cold. The originally warm home suddenly turned cold. On a business trip to another province one day, with a sudden drop in temperature, looking at the inappropriate clothing in my suitcase, I suddenly felt sad, tears streaming down my face. I deeply missed my mother's nagging, wanting time to reverse and go back to the time when I had her.

Where there’s a mother, there's concern; there's someone who loves you wholeheartedly, thinks for you comprehensively, and worries whether you’re thirsty, hungry, tired, or cold.

Every Response and Every Nag from Mom Holds Profound Love for You

Every response and every nag from Mom contains a deep love for you. This is an indispensable warmth in everyone's growth, contributing to a fulfilled and happy life. They wear a smile, unexpectedly touching.

Someone previously commented: In the past, I always thought my mother nagged a lot, overseeing everything, needing her permission to eat at certain times, do specific things, or wear particular clothes, and so on. Later, when Mom passed away due to illness, there was no more sound of her nagging in the house, and there were no more messages on Whatsapp reminding me to wear warm clothes when it’s cold. The previously warm home suddenly turned icy cold. On a certain day, during a business trip to another province, the temperature dropped suddenly. Looking at the inappropriate clothes in the suitcase, I suddenly felt sad, tears streaming down my face. I sorely miss Mom’s nagging, wishing time could turn back to the days when I had her.

Every response and every nag from Mom holds profound love for you. This is essential warmth for everyone's growth and leads to a fulfilling and happy life.

Mother, the Only Person You Dare to Offend in This World

There's a story once told: A man displayed magnanimity and affability at work, neither obsequious to his superiors nor unfriendly to his subordinates. However, in his family life, his temper often erupted due to frequent quarrels with his wife over trivial matters. One day, his mother unintentionally noticed these two entirely different behaviours he displayed at work and at home. She questioned him, "You’re one person outside and another at home?" The man couldn't hold back and complained to his mother, "Mom, I'm just too tired..." His mother, speaking with heartfelt emphasis, told him, "Who isn't tired from living? But you can't let that control your temper! You should remember that offending your boss might cost you just a job; offending a client might mean losing just an order; but offending your wife could mean losing a home and a lifetime of happiness. Yet, there's one person you can offend, and that’s me. If you're upset, tired, don't raise your voice at your wife, call Mom. Mom will listen, Mom wants to listen."

This story leaves a profound impression. We encounter many people in our lives, family, friends, colleagues, classmates, partners, but no one will forgive you repeatedly like your mother. Even if you shout at her, afterward, if you apologize and acknowledge your mistake, she'll forgive you time and time again. Your mother might be the only person you dare to offend because you know she will always stand behind you, accepting everything about you. However, life's biggest failure is leaving your best smiles for others and displaying annoyance to your mother. In places she can't see, she may feel sorrow and tears due to your repeated criticisms. Only because she loves you, she deeply conceals her own scars. Nevertheless, life is brief, time is fleeting, and a mother's time with us is limited. If, in the future, your memories of your mother are filled with angry shouts from you, regret for not cherishing her, and memories of her carefulness, it will leave you with endless regret. Therefore, if your mother is still around, please give her more happiness, bring more smiles to her.

Mother, the Person Most Worthy of Your Gratitude in the World

Mothers are praised as follows: She is the vast sea, tolerating our clumsiness and stubbornness with infinite patience; she is the gentle breeze, quietly comforting our despair and defeat; she is the radiant light, concentrating on our bloom on life’s stage. Only after becoming parents do we comprehend that no matter how eloquent the words, they cannot fully express a mother’s sacrifices for us. Mothers give us life and accompany us as we slowly grow up. Calling out "mom," she unreservedly takes on all responsibilities, endures all hardships, and nurtures us to adulthood. And all we can give her is endless gratitude. A story that touched many: On a rainy day, someone found a pair of stray cats. The mother cat was no longer there, yet the kitten still thought Mom was just asleep, continually licking the body that had lost warmth. It stayed by the mother during the day, only going out to find food at night. When hungry, it drank rainwater from the street; when starved, it gnawed on twigs. It found a piece of meat in the trash, but despite its hunger, it didn't eat it. Instead, it flew back to its mother, placed the meat near her, and kept licking, as if trying to wake her up. The veterinarian discovered small stones stuffed in the kitten’s stomach. It couldn't bear to eat the good food, leaving it for Mom, feeding on twigs and stones. Animals are affectionate, but what about humans? Every mother is an extraordinary figure among the ordinary. She turns love into every fleeting moment of life. This love might seem trivial, taken for granted, and we might assume it will last forever. Yet, we fail to realize that someday, this love will vanish in an unexpected way. Time cannot be halted, life, however, comes to an end. In our limited time, we must do our best to give our mothers the best latter half of life. In "Reply 1988," there's a dialogue that often strikes the heart: "They say God is everywhere, and that's why he created mothers. When a mother reaches her mother's age, her mother is still her guardian. The title 'mother' strikes a chord." With Mother's Day approaching, may all mothers be healthy and happy, eternally happy.

Read Also:

Life's Losses: More Than Just Financial Failures

Listen:

What is a Mother?

Friday, May 3, 2024

Life's Losses: More Than Just Financial Failures


  1. Having an Extramarital Affair, Destroying the Family Extramarital affairs ruin families, shattering the sanctuary that family represents. A complete family fosters happiness and harmony throughout one's life. However, some families, due to frequent quarrels and dispassionate relationships, ultimately collapse. This isn't due to financial shortage but extramarital affairs. When marital ties fade and mutual animosity prevails, marriages crumble, leading to divorce.
  2. Making Money Immorally, Ending Up in Jail Earning money without conscience leads to imprisonment. Honest individuals follow moral standards in making money. Some, in their pursuit of wealth, resort to deceit and unethical means, breaching societal norms. Once they engage in illegal activities, prison becomes their only outcome. These actions bring disgrace and become a stain on one's family.
  3. Overly Vain, Becoming the Object of Ridicule Excessive pursuit of vanity results in being the subject of mockery. Some overly concern themselves with their image, seeking to show off their superiority at any cost, even by exaggerating their wealth. Once this excessive vanity is exposed, they become objects of ridicule, even damaging their reputation.
  4. Obsessed with Socializing, Relying on Connections Living a life where one avoids personal effort, solely depending on others. They become engrossed in socializing, relying on connections, seeking friendships to build a network. They spend time and money in social gatherings or obligations. However, when they truly need help, they find no one willing to lend a hand, even pretending not to know them. It's only then that they realize relying on oneself is better than depending on others, but it's too late, as resources and time are exhausted.
  5. Engaging in Vices, Lacking Aspiration Some people, being indolent and aimless, spend their days in idleness, engaging in gambling or revelry, associating with improper company, adopting unhealthy habits. Excessive drinking harms health, gambling wastes fortunes, and their refusal to reform not only fails to instigate any self-improvement but also leads to personal destruction, causing trouble for their families. Living demands rectitude, honest actions, and a drive to succeed. While one might lack wealth, power, or career, one should never lack moral character.

Remember, bearing responsibility on your shoulders and having a family to support, living in the aforementioned five ways signifies life's greatest failures. Only by being grounded, holding oneself accountable, rectifying mistakes in time, and embracing change can one bring peace to their family and re-establish success.

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Being Kind to Yourself Starts with Not Getting Angry

Listen: Podcast

Friday, April 26, 2024

Being Kind to Yourself Starts with Not Getting Angry

Let's start with a question: Are you someone who easily gets angry?

In life, many things can happen that go against our expectations, whether minor like missing a bus or major such as being hurt or betrayed by a trusted person. Despite many things that can upset us, there aren't actually that many worth getting angry about. Getting mad over trivial matters is being irresponsible towards oneself. In the latter half of life, the winner depends on one's mindset. If you can control your anger, you are the winner.

Behaviour while angry is wrong 80% of the time. In psychology, there's the well-known 10-90 principle. It states that 10% of what happens to you in life is unavoidable, but the remaining 90% is determined by how you react to those events. If you maintain a positive mindset, you'll find positivity in life and not get too bothered by anything. However, if your mindset is poor and you're constantly getting angry over minor issues, it will only make your life worse. Around 80% of the decisions and behaviours made while angry are incorrect. Anger makes people biased, and it can lead to irrationality. In a fit of rage, people often make poor choices. This is why many make significant mistakes when angry. For example, a news report described a dispute between a taxi driver and a passenger. What began as a small issue escalated when the driver, unable to control emotions, ended up driving the vehicle towards the passenger. Unfortunately, the passenger lost their life, and the driver faced imprisonment. In moments of anger, no one wins.

Never make decisions in a fit of anger as you can't anticipate the impact on your future life. When angry, try counting to ten, calming down, and then reconsidering the issue. Don't let a moment of rage ruin several decades of your future life.

Let Go of Others' Mistakes and Free Your Own Heart

There exists a blood-sucking bat on the African savannah that latches onto wild horses' legs to feed on their blood and then flies away satiated. Though these bats don't take much blood, many wild horses, after being bitten, suffer and eventually die. The death of the wild horses wasn't due to the bats but the anxiety and frenzy caused by the biting. This phenomenon, punishing oneself due to the errors of others, is known as the "wild horse outcome." Anger, in fact, tortures oneself, punishing oneself. It breeds internally, harming the body while having no impact on others. It's not worth it. If you think about it, what's worth getting angry about, affecting our mood and health? And how many things from the last 5 or 10 years still make us angry? Many times, it's not the specific incident that troubles us but our present emotions. No one in this world is worth sacrificing your mental and physical health for. Don't get angry at petty people; they aren't worth your effort. Also, don't get angry with loved ones, as it can harm relationships and disrupt harmony. If someone hurts you, either retaliate or ignore them. Either way, never punish yourself with someone else's mistakes.

Be Resourceful Instead of Getting Angry In life, we inevitably face coldness, malice, and even humiliation. Getting angry and complaining is fruitless and won't earn anyone's respect. Instead of anger, it's crucial to rally your spirits and make changes. When you become stronger, the people around you become friendlier. This is the reality, harsh but true. Anger never solves problems. Others' opinions about you won't change because of your temper but because of your capabilities. When people look down on you, don't hastily react. Stay calm, focus on improving yourself, and prove yourself with your abilities. Always remember: patience is the highest form of contempt, and strong capability is the most decisive retaliation.

Time is invaluable, so why waste emotions on useless anger? There might be many reasons to get angry in life, but not getting angry needs just one reason: it's not necessary to make yourself suffer. If you are right, there's no need to be angry; that's punishing yourself for others' wrongs. If you're wrong, you have no right to be angry; correcting mistakes is the right approach. In life, getting what you want is accidental, and facing challenges is the norm. If every little thing that goes wrong makes you angry, life becomes dull. Anger is like slow self-destruction, and happiness is the secret to longevity. Being angry all the time, continually complaining, only makes life more difficult. Besides life and death, everything else is trivial. No one is worth sacrificing your happiness, and nothing is worth damaging your mind and body. Our time in this world is very limited; we're not here to be angry. Instead of wasting time with resentment, embrace life with a joyful heart.

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This Life, Rely on Yourself

Friday, April 19, 2024

This Life, Rely on Yourself

There's a saying: "Relying on mountains will make them collapse, relying on people will make you old. In the end, you realize you only relied on yourself." Throughout life, it’s only by depending on oneself that one can live with dignity and shine brightly.

This Life, Don't Rely on Parents

Life is not all smooth sailing. Only by relying on oneself can one change their fate. There's a deeply moving story from the late 1980s. A man with hearing impairments married a woman who was not eloquent and slightly clumsy. The entire village watched, curious to see what kind of child they would have.

This couple had a daughter who grew up to be the prettiest girl in the village. She was called Jane. Since childhood, she frequently heard people say, "Such a smart and beautiful child but with parents like that, she is so pitiable." However, Jane was always stubborn; she didn't believe she was the "pitiable" person the village spoke of.

After graduating from elementary school, she chose to drop out and joined the village's performance troupe as an apprentice. She put her heart and soul into her work, believing that only by relying on herself and acquiring enough skills could she change her fate. She didn't just learn to sing and play instruments; she also read many books in her spare time.

Four to five years passed, and she became a highly respected figure in the troupe. Her outstanding appearance and profound knowledge made her performances widely popular. Gradually, more people started inviting her to perform.

Some say, "Life is like walking on thin ice; just as you catch a breath, a new challenge arises." Just as Jane’s life was gradually improving, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Frequent hospital stays and chemotherapy quickly depleted their resources.

To earn more money, Jane worked even harder. However, the sudden arrival of the 2020 pandemic completely disrupted her livelihood, leading her to lose her income entirely.

Her mother's illness worried her deeply, and the lack of financial resources made her even more anxious. There's a saying: "If you are heading for debauchery, not even a deity can save you; if you are growing, even a dire situation can bring a new beginning."

Facing the inability to perform live shows, she decided to live stream singing online. Friends suggested she glam up to attract more male fans, but Jane firmly believed that the most touching aspect is humanity. She was in a modest rural setting, a simple and beautiful girl, with ordinary parents but a curious innocence in their eyes. This stark contrast drew over 20,000 fans on her first night of streaming. These fans were mostly dreamers living far from their hometowns.

Through her live streaming, these fans felt familiar scenes and moving songs, soothing their homesickness. Jane rediscovered her life's value and earned a considerable income through live streaming, improving her family's financial situation.

Now, when the villagers see her parents, they say, "You're blessed to have such an accomplished daughter." When this happens, her parents point to the picture of their daughter on the phone screen and give a thumbs-up.

"Destiny ultimately cannot defeat us. When you're feeling low, just look around, and see what it can stir up. Over time, you'll realize that it's ultimately like a child, or rather, it is a child, our own child. Our destiny is shaped by our own hands. In the end, we are the creators of our own destiny."

Perhaps in childhood, you can rely on parents, but as time passes, life changes unpredictably. Parents cannot always be with us, nor can they always shield us from life's challenges. Some say, "Having parental support is a straight road, lacking it is a winding road."

On this winding road, only those who endure it alone will realize that life is about constantly refining, repairing, and shaping oneself, meeting a brand new and better version every time.

This Life, Don't Rely on Marriage

My close friend got married right after graduating from college and soon became pregnant. At that time, her husband's business was doing well, so she chose to resign and become a full-time housewife. People often say that being a homemaker is one of the most perilous occupations, and she fell victim to it.

One of the things that distressed my friend most during her time as a full-time homemaker was the frequent words from her husband: "You want money again?" He couldn't understand her efforts and only complained that she didn't do anything but spent too much money. She felt extremely oppressed in this passive role.

Therefore, my friend decided to do something to break free from this situation. At the time, the trend of purchasing agents was rising, and she began a purchasing business in partnership with a male classmate. However, this almost destroyed her marriage. Her husband suspected her of having an inappropriate relationship with her classmate and physically abused her because of it. Frustrated, my friend went back to her parents' home.

Upon her friend's referral, she became a substitute teacher in a school. Concerned about her teaching abilities, she diligently prepared and refined her teaching materials. She rehearsed in front of experienced teachers until she felt adequately prepared to start teaching. She prepared for every class with such meticulousness.

Midway through the semester, her class unexpectedly achieved the first position in the entire grade, surprising everyone, including herself.

During that time, she deeply realized that hard work doesn’t go in vain. Her effort gave her confidence and direction in life. Following this, she moved to work for a training institution, and many students who had attended her classes before eagerly signed up for her courses. Her husband, seeing her transformation, was equally shocked and started regretting his past reckless behaviour. He hoped she would forgive him and resume being a homemaker. However, my friend's stance was resolute: she could return home, but her career would not be abandoned. Her effort gave her a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Gradually, her reputation grew, allowing her to break away from her previous institution and establish her own training centre. Even with increasing students and hiring more teachers, she personally took on the teaching responsibilities. Not only did she no longer ask her husband for money, but she also covered the household expenses during her husband's business downturns.

"The road has to be walked step by step; suffering has to be endured mouthful by mouthful. Pulling sinew and skin is the only way to transform and grow, besides this, there are no shortcuts." Marriage has never been a sanctuary for anyone, and sometimes, it's the beginning of nightmares for some. A person must rely on themselves. Instead of seeking warmth from another's shoulder, it's better to soar against the wind and be self-reliant. Only one's bank balance and individual abilities are the greatest assurance in navigating the world. As long as we have our protective umbrella, regardless of stormy or sunny times, we can move forward courageously.

In This Life, Don't Rely on Children

It's best not to expect too much from others because everyone has their own difficulties. Let me tell you about my neighbour, Aunt Gong's experience.

Aunt Gong has an only son who lives abroad. Eight years ago, her husband passed away due to a stroke, leaving her living alone. Her son, feeling pity for his mother, brought Aunt Gong over to live with him abroad.

However, things took an unexpected turn. Aunt Gong and her daughter-in-law didn't get along. In less than two months of living abroad, they had several arguments. Seeing the dilemma her son was in, Aunt Gong firmly chose to return home alone.

Upon her return, Aunt Gong's hair turned almost completely white. Initially, she didn't pay much attention to it. But every time someone saw her, they'd ask in astonishment, "What happened? Why did your hair turn white?" Each time she heard such questions, it caused her heartache and tears.

Hence, she decided to visit a hair salon and dye her hair black. People who saw her afterwards commented, "Wow! You look so much younger." Aunt Gong smiled and said, "My old partner left, but I am still alive. Since I'm alive, I should live well."

Looking in the mirror, she found she indeed didn't look as old, and she felt much better emotionally. Aunt Gong said, "When you're old, you can't rely on your son; he has his own family, and I must rely on myself."

After changing her mindset, Aunt Gong started exercising in the mornings, rested after lunch, played cards or danced with the old ladies in the neighborhood in the afternoons. When her health allowed, Aunt Gong frequently traveled and even found a new partner, beginning a late-life romance. She moved into her new partner's house and rented out her own.

She said, "Raising children may not prevent aging; instead of relying on children, it's better to rely on oneself."

As one grows older, they need three things: a healthy mindset, a robust body, and sufficient savings. Only with these can one avoid what the ancients said: "Life is short, and in the blink of an eye, old age arrives." In old age, facing many troubles, one can only slowly swallow them on their own.

"Others are not obligated to help you." When you fall, there may not always be someone to help you up; when you're short of money, there might not be someone to give you charity; when you feel aggrieved, there might not be someone to care. In times when no one assists, one must stand on their own; in times of poverty, one can only rely on their efforts; when there's no help, one must solve problems on their own. Self-reliance surpasses dependence on others; it's better to rely on oneself.

Between people, it's impossible to fully comprehend each other's sorrows and joys or truly experience the other's feelings. Even if others are good, in the end, you still need to rely on yourself to find true happiness. When facing the brutality of society, financial pressures, life's setbacks, the shattering of love, and the complexities of human nature, you gradually understand: you must be your own shelter, no longer needing to evade storms.

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